Mark Baratelli

Mark Baratelli Asks How Do You Feel?

Emotional rehabilitator Mark Baratelli gets you from funk to spunk in 20 minutes or less. He's there, he's talking and he's there. Give your mind to him or you will never change. Seriously, loser. Give your mind to him.

I'm calm, cool, collected and caring about you. Please pause for a double stack and a six pack.  Regret is something I know a lot about. If you regret your past in the future, your future will be full of regret. I can't bend your arm backwards and break it. I can only hurt your feelings. I have clients and have control over their entire life. I baby them and they are wealthy enough to pay for it. You have to listen to with your ears not your brain. A horrible waft of shat. Imagine all of your problems as poop and you have shat your pants with emotional distress. You can wipe it all over yourself. It's so thick. If you want it, you'll get it. if you don't get it, that means you didn't want it enough. Failure is something we choose not to do. The things that people who fail do do are the things people who win don't do. So sick of people judging me for driving drunk. I chose to live the life of a humble man. A servant of God don't drive no Beemer. A three-wheeler on Sunday. You are a beautiful blue Marlin jumping out of the water and into life. The water is hell...but life is heaven.  Audio Show: -Itunes -RSS Websites: -How Do You Feel? on myspace -Produced by Mark Baratelli

I'm calm, cool, collected and caring about you. Please pause for a double stack and a six pack. Regret is something I know a lot about. If you regret your past in the future, your future will be full of regret. I can't bend your arm backwards and break it. I can only hurt your feelings. I have clients and have control over their entire life. I baby them and they are wealthy enough to pay for it. You have to listen to with your ears not your brain. A horrible waft of shat. Imagine all of your problems as poop and you have shat your pants with emotional distress. You can wipe it all over yourself. It's so thick. If you want it, you'll get it. if you don't get it, that means you didn't want it enough. Failure is something we choose not to do. The things that people who fail do do are the things people who win don't do. So sick of people judging me for driving drunk. I chose to live the life of a humble man. A servant of God don't drive no Beemer. A three-wheeler on Sunday. You are a beautiful blue Marlin jumping out of the water and into life. The water is hell...but life is heaven. Audio Show: -<a href="http://phobos.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPodcast?id=200514127" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Itunes</a> -<a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/howdoyoufeelthepodcast" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">RSS</a> Websites: -How Do You Feel? <a href="http://www.myspace.com/howdoyoufeelpodcast" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">on myspace</a> -Produced by <a href="http://www.markbaratelli.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Mark Baratelli</a>

HDYF 37 A Horrible Waft of Shat

I am not a miracle worker. You're a special flower growing in a garden of weeds. Most people around you are wrong. If only the world could work the way you see it working, wouldn't it be a better place? Communicate with talking. Bothered by women in bikinis. Those things that make us different are the things that make us unique. Corporate lawyers retire at 45. You ever think of popcorn? If you took your eating time and instead worked on being a better person, imagine how good you'd be. Increased moments of feeling good add up to being happy. I am a wizard. What is a car that doesn't work? $2.71? Is that with tax? Their son is retarded. Parents lie to children. Santa Claus is a secret. Life sucks is a secret. Is 1-12 the only age a human being can believe in a lie? No. Santa Claus never told you "I'm fake." Santa ain't Netflix. We're all animals. Adult mouth-sized straw. Here's your Emmy. You better watch your mate. How Do you Feel Lifestyle Compound. What is special about you? Monogamy is a lie. It keeps us all from humping around too much. Thats why AIDS was created. Thats in the bible. The bed industry wants you to have a bigger bed.   How Do You Feel? -Podcast in Itunes -Podcast RSS Podcast on Myspace Produced by Mark Baratelli

I am not a miracle worker. You're a special flower growing in a garden of weeds. Most people around you are wrong. If only the world could work the way you see it working, wouldn't it be a better place? Communicate with talking. Bothered by women in bikinis. Those things that make us different are the things that make us unique. Corporate lawyers retire at 45. You ever think of popcorn? If you took your eating time and instead worked on being a better person, imagine how good you'd be. Increased moments of feeling good add up to being happy. I am a wizard. What is a car that doesn't work? $2.71? Is that with tax? Their son is retarded. Parents lie to children. Santa Claus is a secret. Life sucks is a secret. Is 1-12 the only age a human being can believe in a lie? No. Santa Claus never told you "I'm fake." Santa ain't Netflix. We're all animals. Adult mouth-sized straw. Here's your Emmy. You better watch your mate. How Do you Feel Lifestyle Compound. What is special about you? Monogamy is a lie. It keeps us all from humping around too much. Thats why AIDS was created. Thats in the bible. The bed industry wants you to have a bigger bed. How Do You Feel? -<a href="http://phobos.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPodcast?id=200514127" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Podcast in Itunes</a> -<a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/howdoyoufeelthepodcast" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Podcast RSS</a> <a href="http://www.myspace.com/howdoyoufeelpodcast" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Podcast on Myspace</a> Produced by <a href="http://www.markbaratelli.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Mark Baratelli</a>

HDYF 36 Santa Aint Netflix

Tony Robbins

I'm too lazy to do show notes but not too lazy to say a prayer for you. You're welcome.How Do You Feel? Podcast in Itunes Podcast RSS Podcast on Myspace Produced by Mark Baratelli

I'm too lazy to do show notes but not too lazy to say a prayer for you. You're welcome. How Do You Feel? <a href="http://phobos.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPodcast?id=200514127" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Podcast in Itunes</a> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/howdoyoufeelthepodcast" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Podcast RSS</a> <a href="http://www.myspace.com/howdoyoufeelpodcast" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Podcast on Myspace</a> Produced by <a href="http://www.markbaratelli.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Mark Baratelli</a>

HDYF 35 Bashing Tony Robbins

Why is your misery still here? Today is that day. If only. The time is right now. Rome wasn't built in a day. New York City didn't exist until it said it was New York City. It is the birthplace of art. What are you the birthplace of? Blogging tips. I'm not your friend. You're a fat poor person who will not make a difference in this world until you put up your own finish line. What if? They know change will happen. Pretty soon you'll be dead. There are no steps. You've raced towards failure...and you lost. Decide you are done running the misery race you've lost. Stop following your instincts. Change is like a necklace you didn't even know you were wearing. I will become someone I wasn't born to be. Audio Show: -on  Itunes -RSS How Do You Feel? on myspace.com Produced by Mark Baratelli

Why is your misery still here? Today is that day. If only. The time is right now. Rome wasn't built in a day. New York City didn't exist until it said it was New York City. It is the birthplace of art. What are you the birthplace of? Blogging tips. I'm not your friend. You're a fat poor person who will not make a difference in this world until you put up your own finish line. What if? They know change will happen. Pretty soon you'll be dead. There are no steps. You've raced towards failure...and you lost. Decide you are done running the misery race you've lost. Stop following your instincts. Change is like a necklace you didn't even know you were wearing. I will become someone I wasn't born to be. Audio Show: -<a href="http://phobos.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPodcast?id=200514127" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">on Itunes</a> -<a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/howdoyoufeelthepodcast" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">RSS</a> <a href="http://www.myspace.com/howdoyoufeelpodcast" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">How Do You Feel? on myspace.com</a> Produced by <a href="http://www.markbaratelli.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Mark Baratelli</a>

HDYF 34 You lost the failure race

Excitement prevents Cancer. Assignment: make a list of 400 things to be excited about today. My friends Meg and Paul are miserable. I have never wanted to hid kids like I do with their kids. They created their own misery. You are not the saddest person you know. If you are miserable, you've go friends who are miserable. The grass is always browner if you make it so. Blah blah blah horsesehoes. I'm a doctor even though I'm not one because I have cured people of emotional obesity. The young person was put to rest. I blame myself for not becoming a doctor. You have to value yourself in order to bring about change. Dumba** changes their mind. I love to see people smile. I like to see the change happen in people. If I could reach through this phone and snap off your nose, I would. Change is possible if you value yourself enough to spend the time to make the change happen. That spit in the palm of your hand is my hand in yours. Hold that spit in your hand. That spit is me. Podcast in Itunes Podcast RSS How Do You Feel? on myspace.com Produced by Mark Baratelli

Excitement prevents Cancer. Assignment: make a list of 400 things to be excited about today. My friends Meg and Paul are miserable. I have never wanted to hid kids like I do with their kids. They created their own misery. You are not the saddest person you know. If you are miserable, you've go friends who are miserable. The grass is always browner if you make it so. Blah blah blah horsesehoes. I'm a doctor even though I'm not one because I have cured people of emotional obesity. The young person was put to rest. I blame myself for not becoming a doctor. You have to value yourself in order to bring about change. Dumba** changes their mind. I love to see people smile. I like to see the change happen in people. If I could reach through this phone and snap off your nose, I would. Change is possible if you value yourself enough to spend the time to make the change happen. That spit in the palm of your hand is my hand in yours. Hold that spit in your hand. That spit is me. <a href="http://phobos.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPodcast?id =200514127" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Podcast in Itunes</a> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/howdoyoufeelthepodcast" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Podcast RSS</a> <a href="http://www.myspace.com/howdoyoufeelpodcast" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">How Do You Feel? on myspace.com</a> Produced by <a href="http://www.markbaratelli.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Mark Baratelli</a>

HDYF 33 Excitement Prevents Cancer

I miss you even though we don't know each other. Let me be your emotional prostitute. I don't need the type of money Apple says I can make through selling my shows on itunes because you're too poor. The cold makes New Yorkers unhappy. The subway is a coat. Your stomach has taste buds. What do you want to do with your life? Only you can fix yourself (in certain instances). Don't associate with actors. Not caring is the best thing to say when you don't care. I'm the second most intelligent person you've talked to. We do not have a purpose in life until someone else gives it to us.I don't title my books because I am an unknown. Podcast in Itunes Podcast with RSS How Do You Feel? on myspace.com Produced by Mark Baratelli

I miss you even though we don't know each other. Let me be your emotional prostitute. I don't need the type of money Apple says I can make through selling my shows on itunes because you're too poor. The cold makes New Yorkers unhappy. The subway is a coat. Your stomach has taste buds. What do you want to do with your life? Only you can fix yourself (in certain instances). Don't associate with actors. Not caring is the best thing to say when you don't care. I'm the second most intelligent person you've talked to. We do not have a purpose in life until someone else gives it to us.I don't title my books because I am an unknown. <a href="http://phobos.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPodcast?id =200514127" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Podcast in Itunes</a> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/howdoyoufeelthepodcast" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Podcast with RSS</a> <a href="http://www.myspace.com/howdoyoufeelpodcast" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">How Do You Feel? on myspace.com</a> Produced by <a href="http://www.markbaratelli.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Mark Baratelli</a>

HDYF 32 Emotional Prostitute

I&#39;m so upset that I just NOW found this.  Where the hell are you? You need to keep up with this chit mane!

Where are you?

Channeling Jiminy Glick among others, this guy is funny and witty.  I really enjoyed it, though I am a not so rich fat guy with almost white teeth.

Funny so far

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