Thank you everyone!  Take care of yourselves.

Thank you everyone! Take care of yourselves.

The Final Lesson

The best offense is a great defense.

Building Your Defenses

This is the first of the last three episodes of this podcast.  Today, I tackle a listener question.  How does a supervisor deal with toxic staff?

This is the first of the last three episodes of this podcast. Today, I tackle a listener question. How does a supervisor deal with toxic staff?

Dealing with Toxic Staff

Ron Dalrymple

“Each person has inside them an enormous capability and creative power which they’ve probably never begun to imagine. We must start working toward that to bring that forth.” Dr. Ron Dalrymple Dr. Ron Dalrymple is a licensed psychologist, author and filmmaker with a special interest in the higher, seldom understood powers of the mind. He has written four books using his research to motivate individuals to achieve greatness by utilizing the power within themselves. All four books are best- sellers. They are The Inner Manager; 8 Days to Creative Power; I Love You, God; and Quantum Field Psychology. Dr. Dalrymple also produced a best-selling film about the discover of Quantum Field Psychology, Paradise Found 2015; and recently released a new film, The Endless Question. Today we cover: Tips for dealing with work place toxicity  Tips for dealing with PTSD Myths of the Subconscious Mind that block your presence How to connect with your inner self through intense concentration  Website: https://www.drrondalrymple2.com

“Each person has inside them an enormous capability and creative power which they’ve probably never begun to imagine. We must start working toward that to bring that forth.” Dr. Ron Dalrymple Dr. Ron Dalrymple is a licensed psychologist, author and filmmaker with a special interest in the higher, seldom understood powers of the mind. He has written four books using his research to motivate individuals to achieve greatness by utilizing the power within themselves. All four books are best- sellers. They are The Inner Manager; 8 Days to Creative Power; I Love You, God; and Quantum Field Psychology. Dr. Dalrymple also produced a best-selling film about the discover of Quantum Field Psychology, Paradise Found 2015; and recently released a new film, The Endless Question. Today we cover: Tips for dealing with work place toxicity  Tips for dealing with PTSD Myths of the Subconscious Mind that block your presence How to connect with your inner self through intense concentration  Website: <a href="https://www.drrondalrymple2.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.drrondalrymple2.com</a>

Coping Strategies for Toxic Situations with Dr. Ron Dalrymple

“We all from one time or another, find ourselves in some type of toxic relationship. There should be no dishonor in that it happens. We don’t always know the person. I think you dishonor yourself when you know, and you can do better and you don’t do better.” Tamuri Richardson Tamuri Richardson is an expert Motivational Speaker, She is a Speaking Presenter for NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) with the goal to help fight the stigmas of Mental Illness, shes an award winning Toastmasters International Speaker and an Author, she just finished writing her 2nd book, 1st Novel entitled “ Trusting Someone Else’s Heart” its an autobiographical story of how she overcame betrayal, domestic violence and dishonor in her marriage and rebuilt herself into a much better version of herself. She speaks on Women Empowerment, Social Issues, Domestic Violence and encouraging the need to Standing up for yourself in all facets of life. Website: www.tleannespeaks.com  Facebook page: TLeanne Speaking Pros, LLC has a list of Radio interviews, YouTube and Podcast, interviews on the topic that can encourage anyone going through this type of trauma.

“We all from one time or another, find ourselves in some type of toxic relationship. There should be no dishonor in that it happens. We don’t always know the person. I think you dishonor yourself when you know, and you can do better and you don’t do better.” Tamuri Richardson Tamuri Richardson is an expert Motivational Speaker, She is a Speaking Presenter for NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) with the goal to help fight the stigmas of Mental Illness, shes an award winning Toastmasters International Speaker and an Author, she just finished writing her 2nd book, 1st Novel entitled “ Trusting Someone Else’s Heart” its an autobiographical story of how she overcame betrayal, domestic violence and dishonor in her marriage and rebuilt herself into a much better version of herself. She speaks on Women Empowerment, Social Issues, Domestic Violence and encouraging the need to Standing up for yourself in all facets of life. Website: <a href="http://www.tleannespeaks.com%22%20%5Ct%20%22_blank" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.tleannespeaks.com</a> Facebook page: TLeanne Speaking Pros, LLC has a list of Radio interviews, YouTube and Podcast, interviews on the topic that can encourage anyone going through this type of trauma.

Overcoming Abusive Relationships with Tamuri Richardson

Melissa Snow

“I wasted most of my 20’s and 30’s looking for love in all the wrong places, until eventually I hit rock bottom. All the love I so desperately wanted from someone else was already inside me.”  I discovered who I REALLY was and what was truly important to me; I learned how to love AND like myself; I mastered the art of setting boundaries; I improved my communication skills dramatically; And I gained a TON of self confidence in the process. Any links you would like me to include in the show notes. Maybe a link to your website? I can include up to 3 links. You choose and I’ll do my best to include all the links into my show notes, blog post, and social media links.  Resources Website:  www.melissamsnow.com Facebook page:  https://www.facebook.com/melissamsnowlifecoach 30 Day Detox program:  https://melissasnowlifecoach.lpages.co/30-day-detox

“I wasted most of my 20’s and 30’s looking for love in all the wrong places, until eventually I hit rock bottom. All the love I so desperately wanted from someone else was already inside me.” I discovered who I REALLY was and what was truly important to me; I learned how to love AND like myself; I mastered the art of setting boundaries; I improved my communication skills dramatically; And I gained a TON of self confidence in the process. Any links you would like me to include in the show notes. Maybe a link to your website? I can include up to 3 links. You choose and I’ll do my best to include all the links into my show notes, blog post, and social media links.  Resources Website:  <a href="http://www.melissamsnow.com%22%20%5Ct%20%22_blank" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.melissamsnow.com</a> Facebook page:  <a href="https://www.facebook.com/melissamsnowlifecoach%22%20%5Ct%20%22_blank" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.facebook.com/melissamsnowlifecoach</a> 30 Day Detox program:  <a href="https://melissasnowlifecoach.lpages.co/30-day-detox%22%20%5Ct%20%22_blank" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://melissasnowlifecoach.lpages.co/30-day-detox</a>

Stop Dating the Same Type of Person with Melissa Snow

Quinn Barrett

“Sometimes when we’re trying to be in motion and make things happen in our life, if we don’t have the clarity, we can’t see it.”  Quinn Barret Quinn Barrett is an author and speaker who teaches people how to meditate in fun and unconventional ways. Her mission is to help people live life in balance with simple methods, which can be used at any time, anywhere. She is the creator of BusyLife Meditation and Intuition Daily, a new conscious, interactive meditation practice. Quinn has taught her innovative methods internationally for over 20 years. She started BusyLife Meditation and Intuition Daily because she wants to remove stigmas of meditation being difficult or a struggle to find the time or appropriate atmosphere. Conscious, interactive meditation can be practiced anywhere, at any time. If you like your meditation practice, keep it. But if you’re new to meditation or want to explore an attentive approach, come give it a try.  If you want to have fun while exploring deeper parts of yourself, you’ve found the right practice for you. In this episode, we discuss:   Why people don’t stick to meditation  Meditation doesn’t mean you have to stop what you are doing Meditation during daily tasks  Link www.quinnbarrett.com www.busylife.com www.intuitiondaily.com 

“Sometimes when we’re trying to be in motion and make things happen in our life, if we don’t have the clarity, we can’t see it.”  Quinn Barret Quinn Barrett is an author and speaker who teaches people how to meditate in fun and unconventional ways. Her mission is to help people live life in balance with simple methods, which can be used at any time, anywhere. She is the creator of BusyLife Meditation and Intuition Daily, a new conscious, interactive meditation practice. Quinn has taught her innovative methods internationally for over 20 years. She started BusyLife Meditation and Intuition Daily because she wants to remove stigmas of meditation being difficult or a struggle to find the time or appropriate atmosphere. Conscious, interactive meditation can be practiced anywhere, at any time. If you like your meditation practice, keep it. But if you’re new to meditation or want to explore an attentive approach, come give it a try.  If you want to have fun while exploring deeper parts of yourself, you’ve found the right practice for you. In this episode, we discuss: <ol> <li> Why people don’t stick to meditation </li> <li>Meditation doesn’t mean you have to stop what you are doing</li> <li>Meditation during daily tasks</li> </ol> Link <a href="http://www.quinnbarrett.com%22%20%5Ct%20%22_blank" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.quinnbarrett.com</a> <a href="http://www.busylife.com%22%20%5Ct%20%22_blank" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.busylife.com</a> <a href="http://www.intuitiondaily.com%22%20%5Ct%20%22_blank" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.intuitiondaily.com</a>

Still the Mind with Quinn Barrett

In today’s episode, I discuss 3 tips to focus on reinventing yourself.   Highlights include  Pivoting vs. starting from scratch   Examples of people who have changed their career path even in the face of economic crises   Creating challenges for yourself

In today’s episode, I discuss 3 tips to focus on reinventing yourself. Highlights include <ul> <li>Pivoting vs. starting from scratch</li> </ul> <ul> <li>Examples of people who have changed their career path even in the face of economic crises</li> </ul> <ul> <li>Creating challenges for yourself</li></ul>

Self-Care Series – Reinventing Yourself

Royce Morales

“…If we release that energetic hold that we have on someone, everything can shift. The way we perceive them shifts. Their actions might shift. Our reaction to them might shift. We’re left with love and forgiveness, and sometimes even a sense of gratitude that they helped awaken something in ourselves that we didn’t want to look at.”  Royce Morales Royce Morales is a renowned spiritual teacher who has been teaching breakthrough, core, self-discovery work for decades.  Her trailblazing, life-shifting work presents profound spiritual concepts, providing tools to make them applicable in day-to-day life. These powerful teachings get to the root of subconscious, fear-based programming so that fears, stuck issues and repetitive patterns can resolve. Royce offers continuing group classes, has an e-course and is available for private inner journey sessions using the powerful, clearing technique she developed.  If you’re tired of the struggle, want to connect with who you really are, feel ready to live a meaningful, empowered life, give Royce a call for a free consultation.  In this episode we discuss:  Why we get stuck in life   How your view of people gives insight into who you are  For more information, go to www.roycemorales.com. Royce can be reached at LvsreaL@aol.com

“…If we release that energetic hold that we have on someone, everything can shift. The way we perceive them shifts. Their actions might shift. Our reaction to them might shift. We’re left with love and forgiveness, and sometimes even a sense of gratitude that they helped awaken something in ourselves that we didn’t want to look at.” Royce Morales <a href="http://www.roycemorales.com/%22%20%5Ct%20%22_blank" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Royce Morales</a> is a renowned spiritual teacher who has been teaching breakthrough, core, self-discovery work for decades.  Her trailblazing, life-shifting work presents profound spiritual concepts, providing tools to make them applicable in day-to-day life. These powerful teachings get to the root of subconscious, fear-based programming so that fears, stuck issues and repetitive patterns can resolve. Royce offers continuing group classes, has an e-course and is available for private inner journey sessions using the powerful, clearing technique she developed.  If you’re tired of the struggle, want to connect with who you really are, feel ready to live a meaningful, empowered life, give Royce a call for a free consultation.  In this episode we discuss: <ul> <li>Why we get stuck in life</li> </ul> <ul> <li>How your view of people gives insight into who you are</li> </ul> For more information, go to <a href="http://www.roycemorales.com/%22%20%5Ct%20%22_blank" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.roycemorales.com</a>. Royce can be reached at <a href="mailto:LvsreaL@aol.com%22%20%5Ct%20%22_blank">LvsreaL@aol.com</a>

Seeing Yourself in Other People with Royce Morales

What type of content do you want to hear more of?  Send me an email with a suggestion or question and I will cover your topic. support@TheToxicPeopleDetox.com I am open for coaching in the summer.  Need some insight from an objective 3rd party?  Click on the link to schedule a call.   https://bit.ly/2X5dDTq

What type of content do you want to hear more of?  Send me an email with a suggestion or question and I will cover your topic. <a href="mailto:support@TheToxicPeopleDetox.com">support@TheToxicPeopleDetox.com</a> I am open for coaching in the summer.  Need some insight from an objective 3rd party?  Click on the link to schedule a call.   <a href="https://bit.ly/2X5dDTq" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://bit.ly/2X5dDTq</a>

Self-Care Series: Rebuilding Broken Dreams

A practical guide to finding peace in the midst of toxic people.

I have worked with a therapist for close to five years and Dr. Williams reinforces my therapist’s insights and guidance. Dr. Williams is spot on and I love her no nonsense approach. Her university students are lucky to have someone like her in their young lives. wish I’d had a professor like her early in my life, before I continued some codependent behaviors that caused a lot of pain.

Fantastic Guidance

My new favorite pod!!!  Love the tough love ❤️

Love Dr. Shayla

The Toxic People Detox 

Narcissists are emotional parasites. They don’t care about the people in their lives. They just care about getting their emotional“fix.” They want you dependent and broken.Whether a romantic relationship, platonic relationship, or even a work relationship, getting involved with a narcissist is a miserable experience. So, today we cover the signs to watch out for.Subscribe, Rate, and Review. I would be most grateful.support@TheToxicPeopleDetox.com

Narcissists are emotional parasites. They don’t care about the people in their lives. They just care about getting their emotional“fix.” They want you dependent and broken. Whether a romantic relationship, platonic relationship, or even a work relationship, getting involved with a narcissist is a miserable experience. So, today we cover the signs to watch out for. Subscribe, Rate, and Review. I would be most grateful. support@TheToxicPeopleDetox.com

3 Early Warning Signs of a Narcissist [Episode 38]

It’s frustrating when someone sabotages your efforts. It’s even more hurtful when that someone is a family member you love. Why do they do that? How do you handle it? Let’s shine some light on the subject today.Rate and review, I would be most grateful.

It’s frustrating when someone sabotages your efforts. It’s even more hurtful when that someone is a family member you love. Why do they do that? How do you handle it? Let’s shine some light on the subject today. Rate and review, I would be most grateful.

When Family Members Sabotage Your Efforts [Episode 32]

Toxic People are difficult, but not all difficult people are toxic.  In this episode, we explore the difference between a toxic person and a difficult person.  Although they are sometimes used interchangeably, I do make a distinction.1:16 - Why being difficult is not always a bad thing.5:08 - Gas-lighting and why it's so insidious7:26 - What to do when someone is gas-lighting you in a conversation7:37 - Being polite vs being assertive8:34 - How I got over the fear of being impolite9:30 - Where is the threshold between being difficult and being toxic10:58 - The key to dealing with difficult people and toxic people12:09 - Recap of the first 4 episodes13:11 - Who is to blame for my troubles14:02 Episode recapSubscribe, rate and review.  I would be most grateful!www.TheToxicPeopleDetox.com

Toxic People are difficult, but not all difficult people are toxic.  In this episode, we explore the difference between a toxic person and a difficult person.  Although they are sometimes used interchangeably, I do make a distinction. 1:16 - Why being difficult is not always a bad thing. 5:08 - Gas-lighting and why it's so insidious 7:26 - What to do when someone is gas-lighting you in a conversation 7:37 - Being polite vs being assertive 8:34 - How I got over the fear of being impolite 9:30 - Where is the threshold between being difficult and being toxic 10:58 - The key to dealing with difficult people and toxic people 12:09 - Recap of the first 4 episodes 13:11 - Who is to blame for my troubles 14:02 Episode recap Subscribe, rate and review.  I would be most grateful! <a href="http://www.TheToxicPeopleDetox.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.TheToxicPeopleDetox.com</a>

Toxic People vs Difficult People- What’s the Difference? [Episode 3]

Are you doing your best to be an awesome human being and toxic people think that you’re being selfish? Well, we all have selfish tendencies, but we also have our virtues. A listener wants to know why toxic people feel the need to call other people selfish when they themselves are obviously being selfish.Today, I talk about a simple, yet powerful observation to help you but this into perspective.Subscribe, Rate, and Review; I would be most grateful!Support@TheToxicPeopleDetox.com

Are you doing your best to be an awesome human being and toxic people think that you’re being selfish? Well, we all have selfish tendencies, but we also have our virtues. A listener wants to know why toxic people feel the need to call other people selfish when they themselves are obviously being selfish. Today, I talk about a simple, yet powerful observation to help you but this into perspective. Subscribe, Rate, and Review; I would be most grateful! Support@TheToxicPeopleDetox.com

Listener Question – Why Do Toxic People Accuse Me of Being Selfish?  [Episode 29]

In today’s landmark 25th episode, I am summarizing the previous 24 episodes in to 6 key points.These points represent the ideal mindset for dealing with toxic people.

In today’s landmark 25th episode, I am summarizing the previous 24 episodes in to 6 key points. These points represent the ideal mindset for dealing with toxic people.

The Ideal Mindset for Dealing With Toxic People [Episode 25]

This is a touchy subject. There aren’t any easy answers, but there are answers. There are hard truths that may be difficult to accept. Always seek the advice of a professional before making any major decisions.On today's episode:[1:59] 1. People who are controlling, meddling[8:01] 2. People who won’t let you grow and change[10:55] 3. People who like to pick fights[13:10] 4. People who play the victim[13:58] 5. People who withhold affections[15:40] Solutions[16:21] – Taking the direct approach[16:47] – When the direct approach doesn’t work[17:43] – Why putting distance between you and toxic family can be a healing thing[18:55] – The downside of putting distance between you and toxic family[20:13] – A case study on drawing the line[21:10] - Showing compassion to toxic familySubscribe/rate/review I would be most gratefulUntil next time, I wish you peace in the midst of toxic people. Take careFantastic GuidanceFebruary 25, 2020 by CLP14 from United StatesI have worked with a therapist for close to five years and Dr. Williams reinforces my therapist’s insights and guidance. Dr. Williams is spot on and I love her no nonsense approach. Her university students are lucky to have someone like her in their young lives. wish I’d had a professor like her early in my life, before I continued some codependent behaviors that caused a lot of pain.AmazingDecember 26, 2019 by Bentbutnotbroken74 from United StatesI love this podcast and I needed this info and positive but yet straight shooting delivery! Thank you!EmpoweringSeptember 29, 2019 by CamSays from United StatesI really appreciate Dr. Shayla’s ‘practical advice’ on dealing with toxic people. She encourages her listeners to take responsibility where they can, to learn that their own self love and respect is the most powerful force to use in relationships. She reminds you of your power so you can stop feeling like a victim. I agree with another commenter- PLEASE get new intro music!!! The current dissonance makes my ears bleed and is, well.....toxic to my enjoyment of the podcast.Love this!September 17, 2019 by Loopylooloo9999 from United StatesI listen to these over and over especially when I’m unsatisfied at work or dealing with difficult situations. Shayla always gives me a different perspective!7 Reasons why toxic people...September 3, 2019 by HMSDesign from United StatesI’m in Love with Shayla D Williams, so insightful. I learned a lot about myself and some of the toxic people I’ve aloud in my life. This show is something I can take with me in all my budding relationshipsDirect!August 22, 2019 by JennieBeanParachutePants from United StatesI appreciate how direct Dr. Shayla is. The information is great for a lay person.Love Dr. ShaylaAugust 19, 2019 by ashcat310 from United StatesMy new favorite pod!!!  Love the tough love ❤️Thank you!!July 12, 2019 by x3_selegna from United States?Count Paris VeronaJune 16, 2019 by P Verona from United StatesAwesome ‼️get rid of that awful music!!June 15, 2019 by Nuu22 from United StatesThe podcast is great and helpful and quippy. But PLEASE get rid of that intro and outro music. So not serious and annoying sounding.You are the G.O.A.T!June 5, 2019 by MKW03 from United StatesBeing new to the podcast world I didn’t know where to begin. Your podcast was the first thing that popped up, so I gave it a try and I thank god I did. Your podcast came in my life right on time, just when I thought my life was the worse, I had no way of viewing situations or handling them. I had issues with saying no, I worried about what people thought, I had no self esteem. But your podcast has shown me I am better, and who cares what people think. You’ve shown me I can take up for myself and I deserve and I demand respect. Thank you!An answer to my prayers!June 1, 2019 by C-Sharpness from United StatesDoes podcast help me defend myself in a much more affective way and avoid a lot of possible hurt and frustrati...

This is a touchy subject. There aren’t any easy answers, but there are answers. There are hard truths that may be difficult to accept. Always seek the advice of a professional before making any major decisions. On today's episode: [1:59] 1. People who are controlling, meddling [8:01] 2. People who won’t let you grow and change [10:55] 3. People who like to pick fights [13:10] 4. People who play the victim [13:58] 5. People who withhold affections [15:40] Solutions [16:21] – Taking the direct approach [16:47] – When the direct approach doesn’t work [17:43] – Why putting distance between you and toxic family can be a healing thing [18:55] – The downside of putting distance between you and toxic family [20:13] – A case study on drawing the line [21:10] - Showing compassion to toxic family Subscribe/rate/review I would be most grateful Until next time, I wish you peace in the midst of toxic people. Take care Fantastic GuidanceFebruary 25, 2020 by CLP14 from United StatesI have worked with a therapist for close to five years and Dr. Williams reinforces my therapist’s insights and guidance. Dr. Williams is spot on and I love her no nonsense approach. Her university students are lucky to have someone like her in their young lives. wish I’d had a professor like her early in my life, before I continued some codependent behaviors that caused a lot of pain.AmazingDecember 26, 2019 by Bentbutnotbroken74 from United StatesI love this podcast and I needed this info and positive but yet straight shooting delivery! Thank you!EmpoweringSeptember 29, 2019 by CamSays from United StatesI really appreciate Dr. Shayla’s ‘practical advice’ on dealing with toxic people. She encourages her listeners to take responsibility where they can, to learn that their own self love and respect is the most powerful force to use in relationships. She reminds you of your power so you can stop feeling like a victim. I agree with another commenter- PLEASE get new intro music!!! The current dissonance makes my ears bleed and is, well.....toxic to my enjoyment of the podcast.Love this!September 17, 2019 by Loopylooloo9999 from United StatesI listen to these over and over especially when I’m unsatisfied at work or dealing with difficult situations. Shayla always gives me a different perspective!7 Reasons why toxic people...September 3, 2019 by HMSDesign from United StatesI’m in Love with Shayla D Williams, so insightful. I learned a lot about myself and some of the toxic people I’ve aloud in my life. This show is something I can take with me in all my budding relationshipsDirect!August 22, 2019 by JennieBeanParachutePants from United StatesI appreciate how direct Dr. Shayla is. The information is great for a lay person.Love Dr. ShaylaAugust 19, 2019 by ashcat310 from United StatesMy new favorite pod!!! Love the tough love ❤️Thank you!!July 12, 2019 by x3_selegna from United States?Count Paris VeronaJune 16, 2019 by P Verona from United StatesAwesome ‼️get rid of that awful music!!June 15, 2019 by Nuu22 from United StatesThe podcast is great and helpful and quippy. But PLEASE get rid of that intro and outro music. So not serious and annoying sounding.You are the G.O.A.T!June 5, 2019 by MKW03 from United StatesBeing new to the podcast world I didn’t know where to begin. Your podcast was the first thing that popped up, so I gave it a try and I thank god I did. Your podcast came in my life right on time, just when I thought my life was the worse, I had no way of viewing situations or handling them. I had issues with saying no, I worried about what people thought, I had no self esteem. But your podcast has shown me I am better, and who cares what people think. You’ve shown me I can take up for myself and I deserve and I demand respect. Thank you!An answer to my prayers!June 1, 2019 by C-Sharpness from United StatesDoes podcast help me defend myself in a much more affective way and avoid a lot of possible hurt and frustrati...

Dealing With Toxic Family Members [Episode 8]

“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” – Viktor FranklIn today’s episode we cover: the types of bullying and a powerful method to deal with it.

“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” – Viktor Frankl In today’s episode we cover: the types of bullying and a powerful method to deal with it.

Workplace Bullying – How to Overcome [Episode 46]

Read Full TranscriptHow did I gain 100 lbs.?  Simple.  I wouldn’t admit it to myself at the time but emotional overeating not only led to weight gain but to Type II diabetes.  It was a mess.  At the time of this episode, I lost 25 lbs. so I still have 75 more to go.In terms of technology, we have it good these days.  I can log on to a language website and have a conversation with a Spanish instructor from Ecuador.  I can connect to past classmates on Facebook.  I can walk into a Sam’s Club and walk out with the latest flat-screen TV.Food is also more accessible now and I can walk out of a grocery store with enough food to last me a week or two.However, this easy access to food has a sinister side to it.Once upon a time, people had to grow their food before they could eat it.  Therefore, food was more a necessity than a luxury.  They didn’t have weekly social gatherings with refreshments.  They ate only when they were hungry.Now, it’s no longer about eating because we were hungry.  We eat simply because there is food stored in our house.  We eat when we’re bored, when people visit, when we watch TV, when we entertain visitors, or whenever we feel like it.Well, this is where all that weight gain came from.  Food was too easy for me to come by.I ate when I was lonely, depressed, and angry.  Given my situation at the time, that was almost every day.Eating EmotionallyWe know that emotional eating often leads to overeating and secondary obesity. Like what happened to me, emotional eating is based on how you feel instead of hunger.  Like I said, our ancestors did not have the luxury of emotional eating especially if the harvest was bad.   With the convenience of food, I was making poor food choices—eating potato chips, ice cream and other salty or sugary foods.I could open a tub of strawberry cheesecake ice cream and not stop until the container is empty. I was eating hundreds or thousands of calories in one sitting. How can an emotional eater not help but gain weight then?Add to that, I was eating too much sugar.  Sugar is more likely than fat to make you gain weight.Many of the chemicals in food, like MSG, activates pleasure centers in the brain.  When I see that slogan “but you can’t eat just one,” I feel like they’re giving me the middle finger.  They’re right because a lot of junk food have chemicals that make you crave them like donuts, candy, ice cream and chips.When you are in a state of emotional vulnerability you have the perfect storm., for weight gain and Type II diabetes.4 Quick Tips to Decrease Emotional OvereatingThere are things you can do to reduce the negative effects of emotional eating. Let’s look at some of these:·         Recognize the connection. This is a simple yet difficult one.  This requires self-realization.  If I had just done this first, I would have not had the health problems I do now.  Once you recognize when you are eating because of emotions rather than eating for hunger alone, you can understand your emotional triggers and the emotions involved.  This opens the door for you can deal with your emotions in healthier ways.·         Find out the emotion behind the eating. Once you recognize the connection, narrow down what emotion you are experiencing when you eat.  I said before that mine were loneliness, depression, and anger.  Did you get into a fight with a friend or family member and are now angry?  Do you feel lonely? Are you using food to reward yourself for accomplishing a goal?  Are you just bored? When you can recognize the emotion, you can deal learn how to deal with it or them in healthy ways and not with food.·         Journal your thoughts. Put a pen to paper instead of a tub of decadent, rich, creamy, mouth-watering strawberry cheesecake ice cream. Write down in whatever detail you can exactly the emotions and thoughts that lead to binge eating. Something interesting happens when you write things down....

Read Full Transcript How did I gain 100 lbs.?  Simple.  I wouldn’t admit it to myself at the time but emotional overeating not only led to weight gain but to Type II diabetes.  It was a mess.  At the time of this episode, I lost 25 lbs. so I still have 75 more to go. In terms of technology, we have it good these days.  I can log on to a language website and have a conversation with a Spanish instructor from Ecuador.  I can connect to past classmates on Facebook.  I can walk into a Sam’s Club and walk out with the latest flat-screen TV. Food is also more accessible now and I can walk out of a grocery store with enough food to last me a week or two. However, this easy access to food has a sinister side to it. Once upon a time, people had to grow their food before they could eat it.  Therefore, food was more a necessity than a luxury.  They didn’t have weekly social gatherings with refreshments.  They ate only when they were hungry. Now, it’s no longer about eating because we were hungry.  We eat simply because there is food stored in our house.  We eat when we’re bored, when people visit, when we watch TV, when we entertain visitors, or whenever we feel like it. Well, this is where all that weight gain came from.  Food was too easy for me to come by. I ate when I was lonely, depressed, and angry.  Given my situation at the time, that was almost every day. Eating Emotionally We know that emotional eating often leads to overeating and secondary obesity. Like what happened to me, emotional eating is based on how you feel instead of hunger.  Like I said, our ancestors did not have the luxury of emotional eating especially if the harvest was bad.   With the convenience of food, I was making poor food choices—eating potato chips, ice cream and other salty or sugary foods. I could open a tub of strawberry cheesecake ice cream and not stop until the container is empty. I was eating hundreds or thousands of calories in one sitting. How can an emotional eater not help but gain weight then? Add to that, I was eating too much sugar.  Sugar is more likely than fat to make you gain weight. Many of the chemicals in food, like MSG, activates pleasure centers in the brain.  When I see that slogan “but you can’t eat just one,” I feel like they’re giving me the middle finger.  They’re right because a lot of junk food have chemicals that make you crave them like donuts, candy, ice cream and chips. When you are in a state of emotional vulnerability you have the perfect storm., for weight gain and Type II diabetes. 4 Quick Tips to Decrease Emotional Overeating There are things you can do to reduce the negative effects of emotional eating. Let’s look at some of these: ·         Recognize the connection. This is a simple yet difficult one.  This requires self-realization.  If I had just done this first, I would have not had the health problems I do now.  Once you recognize when you are eating because of emotions rather than eating for hunger alone, you can understand your emotional triggers and the emotions involved.  This opens the door for you can deal with your emotions in healthier ways. ·         Find out the emotion behind the eating. Once you recognize the connection, narrow down what emotion you are experiencing when you eat.  I said before that mine were loneliness, depression, and anger.  Did you get into a fight with a friend or family member and are now angry?  Do you feel lonely? Are you using food to reward yourself for accomplishing a goal?  Are you just bored? When you can recognize the emotion, you can deal learn how to deal with it or them in healthy ways and not with food. ·         Journal your thoughts. Put a pen to paper instead of a tub of decadent, rich, creamy, mouth-watering strawberry cheesecake ice cream. Write down in whatever detail you can exactly the emotions and thoughts that lead to binge eating. Something interesting happens when you write things down....

Toxic People & Emotional Eating – How to Cope [Episode 28]

There are toxic personality types that make a point of seeking out people upon whom to unload their bad behavior and manipulation. A drama queen, for example, is far more likely to seek out a person who is highly reactive than one who isn’t. They want drama and a centered person is not going to give it to them easily. So, they go for the easy targets.Key Points1. To understand how toxic people choose their targets2. To look at yourself and identify behaviors or attitudes that might be making you an attractive target for toxic people3. How your view of conflict attracts toxic people

There are toxic personality types that make a point of seeking out people upon whom to unload their bad behavior and manipulation. A drama queen, for example, is far more likely to seek out a person who is highly reactive than one who isn’t. They want drama and a centered person is not going to give it to them easily. So, they go for the easy targets. Key Points 1. To understand how toxic people choose their targets 2. To look at yourself and identify behaviors or attitudes that might be making you an attractive target for toxic people 3. How your view of conflict attracts toxic people

7 Reasons Why Toxic People Target You [Episode 20]

V“True detachment isn’t separation from life but the absolute freedom within your mind to explore living.” Ron. W. RathbunThe good news is that detachment is a skill that you can learn.  The bad news is that detachment is a skill that you can learn.  Skills take time to learn.  There will be moments when we let ourselves get caught up in the moment.  That’s human.  Emotions are there to serve us, not control us.  We must master them, not the other way around.  Today we discuss 4 tips for detaching from toxic situations. Your Life in Weeks https://waitbutwhy.com/2014/05/life-weeks.htmlSubscribe, Rate, and Review, I would be most grateful.support@TheToxicPeopleDetox.com

V “True detachment isn’t separation from life but the absolute freedom within your mind to explore living.” Ron. W. Rathbun The good news is that detachment is a skill that you can learn. The bad news is that detachment is a skill that you can learn. Skills take time to learn. There will be moments when we let ourselves get caught up in the moment. That’s human. Emotions are there to serve us, not control us. We must master them, not the other way around. Today we discuss 4 tips for detaching from toxic situations. Your Life in Weeks <a href="https://waitbutwhy.com/2014/05/life-weeks.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://waitbutwhy.com/2014/05/life-weeks.html</a> Subscribe, Rate, and Review, I would be most grateful. support@TheToxicPeopleDetox.com

Detaching from Toxic Situations [Episode 43]

Drama Queens and Kings cannot resist the opportunity to create conflict, and dealing with their manufactured conflict can be an especially big challenge. Even people who have excellent self-control can lose it when confronted with this kind of emotional manipulation. You can count on the Drama King or Queen to know how to push people’s buttons to get the result they want.Key Bits[1:35] Why drama queens and kings are the way they are[2:01]  Recognizing a drama queen or king[5:26]  How to stop the unnecessary dramaWant More?www.TheToxicPeopleDetox.com

Drama Queens and Kings cannot resist the opportunity to create conflict, and dealing with their manufactured conflict can be an especially big challenge. Even people who have excellent self-control can lose it when confronted with this kind of emotional manipulation. You can count on the Drama King or Queen to know how to push people’s buttons to get the result they want. Key Bits [1:35] Why drama queens and kings are the way they are [2:01]  Recognizing a drama queen or king [5:26]  How to stop the unnecessary drama Want More? <a href="http://www.TheToxicPeopleDetox.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.TheToxicPeopleDetox.com</a>

Toxic People Profile: The Drama Queen and King [Episode 12]

This skill is not only the most important skill in dealing with toxic people, but in dealing with life in general. It’s something that’s missing in our society particularly from the millennial generation.The best way to deal with toxic people is to focusing on creating an amazing life for yourself. It’ vague, but that’s because an amazing life means different things to different people.Read Full Transcript					Episode 13 – The Most Important Skill For Dealing with Toxic PeoplePracticing DetachmentAs the title states, in this episode I focus on what I consider to be not only the most important skill in dealing with toxic people, but in dealing with life in general. It’s something that’s missing in our society particularly from the millennial generation.  Here is part a review someone left me referring to toxic people that states, “I think it's an issue I didn't give a space to in my life. I'm focusing all my life in so many good people that serounds me.”That’s exactly my point!  The best way to deal with toxic people is to focusing on creating an amazing life for yourself.  It’ vague, but that’s because an amazing life means different things to different people.One of the ground rules for creating your amazing life is developing this skill.  And that is detachment.Detachment is not apathy, which is an absence of feeling or purpose and can be associated with depression.  No, detachment is actually healthy.    It’s not sticking your head in sand.It’s being aware of toxicity, drama, chaos, etc. but not being emotionally caught up in it.At the time of recording this podcast, there are 3 more days left in the semester.  This is the time, I get bombarded with emails from students about their grades despite me telling them that in the final week, there’s not much you can do to change your grade at this point.I had one student in my office freaking out about her grade.  I listened more than I spoke.  Finally, she said, “Don’t you care?”I said, Sure I do, or we would be having this conversation. I’m just detached.”She gave me a puzzled look and asked what was the difference.  I said, “I care enough to listen to what you have to say, but I am not getting caught up in the drama of it.”  I know that’s not what she wanted to hear, but I was trying to get across that she has to take responsibility for her actions.  By being detached, I was releasing myself from the burden of taking responsibility for someone else’s actions and happiness.We continued our discussion and I gave her some guidance on how to proceed from there.  It’s one thing to say that you will learn to be detached from your emotions about a toxic person, and another thing entirely to achieve true detachment. It is not easy to get over a toxic encounter. You may be left feeling unsatisfied, angry, and manipulated. Your natural instinct may be to get back at the person who hurt you. Ask me how I know! You might feel a need to prove a point or get revenge, or even just to get in the last word. You might persist in the belief that you can work things out if you just give it one more try.All of those feelings are understandable, but none of them are particularly productive. If you want to truly recover from a toxic relationship, then you have to accept that no amount of revenge or talking is going to make things better. Those things won’t help because it takes two people to make a healthy relationship. If one person in the relationship is prone to toxic behavior, the relationship may never be healthy. It can be hard to accept that, but it’s true. Emotional detachment is a skill. It is something you can learn. If you find yourself replaying encounters with toxic people in your head, or if your emotions tend to get in the way of accomplishing the things that are important to you, then learning emotional detachment might be very helpful to you. Here are some of the things that emotional detachment can help you do:

This skill is not only the most important skill in dealing with toxic people, but in dealing with life in general. It’s something that’s missing in our society particularly from the millennial generation. The best way to deal with toxic people is to focusing on creating an amazing life for yourself. It’ vague, but that’s because an amazing life means different things to different people. Read Full Transcript 		 			Episode 13 – The Most Important Skill For Dealing with Toxic People Practicing Detachment As the title states, in this episode I focus on what I consider to be not only the most important skill in dealing with toxic people, but in dealing with life in general. It’s something that’s missing in our society particularly from the millennial generation. Here is part a review someone left me referring to toxic people that states, “I think it's an issue I didn't give a space to in my life. I'm focusing all my life in so many good people that serounds me.” That’s exactly my point! The best way to deal with toxic people is to focusing on creating an amazing life for yourself. It’ vague, but that’s because an amazing life means different things to different people. One of the ground rules for creating your amazing life is developing this skill. And that is detachment. Detachment is not apathy, which is an absence of feeling or purpose and can be associated with depression. No, detachment is actually healthy. It’s not sticking your head in sand. It’s being aware of toxicity, drama, chaos, etc. but not being emotionally caught up in it. At the time of recording this podcast, there are 3 more days left in the semester. This is the time, I get bombarded with emails from students about their grades despite me telling them that in the final week, there’s not much you can do to change your grade at this point. I had one student in my office freaking out about her grade. I listened more than I spoke. Finally, she said, “Don’t you care?” I said, Sure I do, or we would be having this conversation. I’m just detached.” She gave me a puzzled look and asked what was the difference. I said, “I care enough to listen to what you have to say, but I am not getting caught up in the drama of it.” I know that’s not what she wanted to hear, but I was trying to get across that she has to take responsibility for her actions. By being detached, I was releasing myself from the burden of taking responsibility for someone else’s actions and happiness. We continued our discussion and I gave her some guidance on how to proceed from there. It’s one thing to say that you will learn to be detached from your emotions about a toxic person, and another thing entirely to achieve true detachment. It is not easy to get over a toxic encounter. You may be left feeling unsatisfied, angry, and manipulated. Your natural instinct may be to get back at the person who hurt you. Ask me how I know! You might feel a need to prove a point or get revenge, or even just to get in the last word. You might persist in the belief that you can work things out if you just give it one more try. All of those feelings are understandable, but none of them are particularly productive. If you want to truly recover from a toxic relationship, then you have to accept that no amount of revenge or talking is going to make things better. Those things won’t help because it takes two people to make a healthy relationship. If one person in the relationship is prone to toxic behavior, the relationship may never be healthy. It can be hard to accept that, but it’s true. Emotional detachment is a skill. It is something you can learn. If you find yourself replaying encounters with toxic people in your head, or if your emotions tend to get in the way of accomplishing the things that are important to you, then learning emotional detachment might be very helpful to you. Here are some of the things that emotional detachment can help you do:

The Most Important Skill For Dealing with Toxic People [Episode 13]

Don’t let people run you over! In the last episode, I talked about 7 reasons why toxic people are attracted to you. The main factor that govern the rest is that you are afraid of conflict. The problem with some people is that they don’t want to come off as arrogant, pushy, selfish, a jerk, etc.A pushy or selfish person is one who cares only about their own needs and makes no effort to accommodate anybody else. They tend to expect others to drop everything because they assume that their time is more valuable than that of other people.Key Points1. The Golden Rule for standing your ground2. How to keep a situation from becoming a battle of ego3. 7 tips for learning for not letting people run you overThank you for your comments, reviews, emails.Email questions and suggestions to - support@TheToxicPeopleDetox.com

Don’t let people run you over! In the last episode, I talked about 7 reasons why toxic people are attracted to you. The main factor that govern the rest is that you are afraid of conflict. The problem with some people is that they don’t want to come off as arrogant, pushy, selfish, a jerk, etc. A pushy or selfish person is one who cares only about their own needs and makes no effort to accommodate anybody else. They tend to expect others to drop everything because they assume that their time is more valuable than that of other people. Key Points 1. The Golden Rule for standing your ground 2. How to keep a situation from becoming a battle of ego 3. 7 tips for learning for not letting people run you over Thank you for your comments, reviews, emails. Email questions and suggestions to - support@TheToxicPeopleDetox.com

Standing Your Ground [Episode 21]

In this episode I cover 6 common types of toxic bosses and how to deal with them.  Hate playing office politics?  So do I.  Think of it less playing office politics and more about protecting yourself.Key Points[1:26] Two important questions to ask yourself[2:09] Your best defense against a toxic boss.[3:30] The Six Types of Toxic BossesWant More?Visit www.TheToxicPeopleDetox.com

In this episode I cover 6 common types of toxic bosses and how to deal with them.  Hate playing office politics?  So do I.  Think of it less playing office politics and more about protecting yourself. Key Points [1:26] Two important questions to ask yourself [2:09] Your best defense against a toxic boss. [3:30] The Six Types of Toxic Bosses Want More? Visit <a href="http://www.TheToxicPeopleDetox.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.TheToxicPeopleDetox.com</a>

Toxic Bosses and How To Deal With Them [Episode 11]

Calm

“A battle of ego has no winner.”[1:10] Why do arguments escalate?[1:43] Lay the ground rules – Do this before you get into any argument. When you can be objective because if you wait until an altercation, it’s too late. You can easily get riled up if you don’t lay the foundation. That’s why people have trouble staying centered in an argument. That is what keeps you grounded.[4:24] Technique 1. Give them a way out.[6:30] Technique 2. Discover the real issue.[9:41] Technique 3. Acknowledge them and call them out.[11:35] Technique 4 – Involve them in the process.

“A battle of ego has no winner.” [1:10] Why do arguments escalate? [1:43] Lay the ground rules – Do this before you get into any argument. When you can be objective because if you wait until an altercation, it’s too late. You can easily get riled up if you don’t lay the foundation. That’s why people have trouble staying centered in an argument. That is what keeps you grounded. [4:24] Technique 1. Give them a way out. [6:30] Technique 2. Discover the real issue. [9:41] Technique 3. Acknowledge them and call them out. [11:35] Technique 4 – Involve them in the process.

How to Keep Calm in an Argument – 5 Tips [Episode 6]

Moving on can sometimes be as difficult as dealing with a toxic situation. We can be left with the emotional fallout and left carrying emotional baggage. So how does one move on? How do you deal with the anger at a person or situation?Key Points1. Dealing with Anger2. Severing ties3. Confronting the negative emotions

Moving on can sometimes be as difficult as dealing with a toxic situation. We can be left with the emotional fallout and left carrying emotional baggage. So how does one move on? How do you deal with the anger at a person or situation? Key Points 1. Dealing with Anger 2. Severing ties 3. Confronting the negative emotions

Healing The Hurt When The Damage Has Been Done [Episode 17]

Of all the vices I’ve mentioned so far, self-righteousness has the potential to be the most polarizing! A self-righteous person will oftentimes defend his or her actions as well-meaning. On the surface, nothing is wrong. The problem is the intention.Self-righteous people can actually make very good points. They’re not always wrong. However, they measure themselves by other people’s abilities to keep some preconceived rules. They may seem helpful, but they are tearing you down by constantly pointing out your inability to live by the rules.In today’s episode, we will explore some underlying reasons why self-righteous people are the way they are and how to deal with them.Key Points1. 5 Signs to watch out for2. 4 Tips for dealing with a self-righteous person3. What is really driving themSubscribe/Rate/ReviewRead Full Transcript					Of all the vices I’ve mentioned so far, self-righteousness has the potential to be the most polarizing! A self-righteous person will oftentimes defend his or her actions as well-meaning.  On the surface, nothing is wrong. The problem is the intention.Self-righteous people can actually make very good points. They’re not always wrong. However, they measure themselves by other people’s abilities to keep the rules. They may seem helpful, but they are tearing you down by constantly pointing out your inability to live by the rules. They may act out of envy, being jealous that you are living by a set of rules that they cannot or will not follow. For example, a fitness buff that eats right and goes to the gym 5-7 days a week may be jealous that a couch potato can eat and do whatever he wants. After all, it’s not fair for the fitness buff to do all the right things and let this couch potato get away with not living right. What an outrage! Thus, the fitness buff will use facts to put down or shame the couch potato into doing what the fitness buff wants. Heaven forbid the couch potato resists such well-meaning advice!As you can see, this is a subtle form of control.Self-righteous people can indeed be control freaks.Someone has told me that the truth is the truth.  What does it matter how one delivers it?  I agree except for one point.  You underestimate human nature.If you try to impose your will on someone, even if you’re right, the other person is likely to resist even if they know better.Let’s face it, nobody likes dealing with a self-righteous person. For the most part, we all do the best we can. Having another person – especially one who doesn’t know you well – stand in judgment of your behavior is a bitter pill to swallow.Rigidity – Self-righteous people often have a narrowly defined view of the world. They have a specific idea of the way things should be, and they truly believe that everybody should adhere to the same standards. It can be very difficult for a self-righteous person to acknowledge that there might be another way of doing things.Excessive criticism – Self-righteous people can follow up their rigid view of things with an excessive amount of critical talk. They tend to be very quick to share their often-unwanted opinions with everyone around them. They don’t seem to care whether people are interested in what they have to say. Rather, they think everyone should be interested, and they act accordingly.Tattle-telling – One thing that self-righteous people love to do is report wrongdoing on the part of others. A self-righteous person will be the first one to run to the boss to tell him that you’re late, or to let everyone in your book club know that you didn’t read the book.Shaming – This is related to tattle-tale behavior, but it is a little different. Oftentimes, a self-righteous person has the mistaken belief that holding someone up for shame or ridicule will bring on better behavior. Instead, the opposite is often true. The emotion of shame can have a negative impact on the shamed person’s self-esteem,

Of all the vices I’ve mentioned so far, self-righteousness has the potential to be the most polarizing! A self-righteous person will oftentimes defend his or her actions as well-meaning. On the surface, nothing is wrong. The problem is the intention. Self-righteous people can actually make very good points. They’re not always wrong. However, they measure themselves by other people’s abilities to keep some preconceived rules. They may seem helpful, but they are tearing you down by constantly pointing out your inability to live by the rules. In today’s episode, we will explore some underlying reasons why self-righteous people are the way they are and how to deal with them. Key Points 1. 5 Signs to watch out for 2. 4 Tips for dealing with a self-righteous person 3. What is really driving them Subscribe/Rate/Review Read Full Transcript 		 			Of all the vices I’ve mentioned so far, self-righteousness has the potential to be the most polarizing! A self-righteous person will oftentimes defend his or her actions as well-meaning.  On the surface, nothing is wrong. The problem is the intention. Self-righteous people can actually make very good points. They’re not always wrong. However, they measure themselves by other people’s abilities to keep the rules. They may seem helpful, but they are tearing you down by constantly pointing out your inability to live by the rules. They may act out of envy, being jealous that you are living by a set of rules that they cannot or will not follow. For example, a fitness buff that eats right and goes to the gym 5-7 days a week may be jealous that a couch potato can eat and do whatever he wants. After all, it’s not fair for the fitness buff to do all the right things and let this couch potato get away with not living right. What an outrage! Thus, the fitness buff will use facts to put down or shame the couch potato into doing what the fitness buff wants. Heaven forbid the couch potato resists such well-meaning advice! As you can see, this is a subtle form of control. Self-righteous people can indeed be control freaks. Someone has told me that the truth is the truth.  What does it matter how one delivers it?  I agree except for one point.  You underestimate human nature. If you try to impose your will on someone, even if you’re right, the other person is likely to resist even if they know better. Let’s face it, nobody likes dealing with a self-righteous person. For the most part, we all do the best we can. Having another person – especially one who doesn’t know you well – stand in judgment of your behavior is a bitter pill to swallow. Rigidity – Self-righteous people often have a narrowly defined view of the world. They have a specific idea of the way things should be, and they truly believe that everybody should adhere to the same standards. It can be very difficult for a self-righteous person to acknowledge that there might be another way of doing things. Excessive criticism – Self-righteous people can follow up their rigid view of things with an excessive amount of critical talk. They tend to be very quick to share their often-unwanted opinions with everyone around them. They don’t seem to care whether people are interested in what they have to say. Rather, they think everyone should be interested, and they act accordingly. Tattle-telling – One thing that self-righteous people love to do is report wrongdoing on the part of others. A self-righteous person will be the first one to run to the boss to tell him that you’re late, or to let everyone in your book club know that you didn’t read the book. Shaming – This is related to tattle-tale behavior, but it is a little different. Oftentimes, a self-righteous person has the mistaken belief that holding someone up for shame or ridicule will bring on better behavior. Instead, the opposite is often true. The emotion of shame can have a negative impact on the shamed person’s self-esteem,

Toxic People Profile: The Self Righteous [Episode 19]

This is the first in a series of toxic people profiles that I will visit from time to time.Today’s profile is the passive aggressive.“Funny thing about passive aggressive people, they can smile and throw you under the bus, then get you to apologize for getting upset about it.”They’re like snipers. They take shots at you and you won’t even know where the bullets are coming from.[1:18] How passive aggressive folk operateSigns you're dealing with a passive aggressive[2:06] 1. A classic sign that you are dealing with a passive aggressive is that pit in your stomach that you can’t seem to shake off.If you have to wonder where you stand, then there’s your answer… on a slippery slope. They keep you in a state of uncertainty.[3:24] 2. You keep going back and forth. Things are good, now they’re not. Rinse and repeat. Every relationship has its ebb and flow. Such is life. Life has its ups and downs. This is different.[4:35] 3. You may be feeling angry and upset, but not sure why or if it is justified.[5:23] 4. They withhold vital information until the last minute. Sometimes they never reveal anything. Their desire is to undermine you. They will conveniently forget to tell you crucial information and revel in the resulting chaos.[5:54] 5. The feeling of uncertainty leads to feelings of powerlessness.Solutions[6:54] 1. Your first line of defense is awareness. That’s true of just about anything, but due to the sneaky nature of passive aggressive, awareness may not come initially. They do an excellent job of keeping their agenda’s hidden. Look at the signs. Listen to your body![7:33] 2. AcknowledgeUnless they have some epiphany, they won’t change. We tend to idealize a situation and say that things could get better and that there is so much potential in the other person. While that could be the case, don’t go by what could be. Go by what is. If the situation improves then, awesome. Until it does, be honest about where things are, and protect yourself emotionally. My line of defense is detachment.[8:54] 3. AcceptAwareness is recognizing that the spade. Acknowledging it is calling it a spade. Accepting it is letting it be what it is.Accepting doesn’t mean lying down and letting the other person walk all over you. If the person changes, it must be a decision that they make. We can inspire. We can influence. Ultimately, the decision to change must be theirs.[10:44] 4. Leave a paper trail. Keep a file.Anyone can put up a front, but it takes effort to maintain it. Passive-aggressive are in it for the long haul. They’re not used to people who can wait them out.[11:08] Therefore, your secret weapon against passive aggressive is patience. Anytime you confront them , they’re just deny it anyway.Fantastic GuidanceFebruary 25, 2020 by CLP14 from United StatesI have worked with a therapist for close to five years and Dr. Williams reinforces my therapist’s insights and guidance. Dr. Williams is spot on and I love her no nonsense approach. Her university students are lucky to have someone like her in their young lives. wish I’d had a professor like her early in my life, before I continued some codependent behaviors that caused a lot of pain.AmazingDecember 26, 2019 by Bentbutnotbroken74 from United StatesI love this podcast and I needed this info and positive but yet straight shooting delivery! Thank you!EmpoweringSeptember 29, 2019 by CamSays from United StatesI really appreciate Dr. Shayla’s ‘practical advice’ on dealing with toxic people. She encourages her listeners to take responsibility where they can, to learn that their own self love and respect is the most powerful force to use in relationships. She reminds you of your power so you can stop feeling like a victim. I agree with another commenter- PLEASE get new intro music!!! The current dissonance makes my ears bleed and is, well.....toxic to my enjoyment of the podcast.Love this!September 17,

This is the first in a series of toxic people profiles that I will visit from time to time. Today’s profile is the passive aggressive. “Funny thing about passive aggressive people, they can smile and throw you under the bus, then get you to apologize for getting upset about it.” They’re like snipers. They take shots at you and you won’t even know where the bullets are coming from. [1:18] How passive aggressive folk operate Signs you're dealing with a passive aggressive [2:06] 1. A classic sign that you are dealing with a passive aggressive is that pit in your stomach that you can’t seem to shake off.If you have to wonder where you stand, then there’s your answer… on a slippery slope. They keep you in a state of uncertainty. [3:24] 2. You keep going back and forth. Things are good, now they’re not. Rinse and repeat. Every relationship has its ebb and flow. Such is life. Life has its ups and downs. This is different. [4:35] 3. You may be feeling angry and upset, but not sure why or if it is justified. [5:23] 4. They withhold vital information until the last minute. Sometimes they never reveal anything. Their desire is to undermine you. They will conveniently forget to tell you crucial information and revel in the resulting chaos. [5:54] 5. The feeling of uncertainty leads to feelings of powerlessness. Solutions [6:54] 1. Your first line of defense is awareness. That’s true of just about anything, but due to the sneaky nature of passive aggressive, awareness may not come initially. They do an excellent job of keeping their agenda’s hidden. Look at the signs. Listen to your body! [7:33] 2. Acknowledge Unless they have some epiphany, they won’t change. We tend to idealize a situation and say that things could get better and that there is so much potential in the other person. While that could be the case, don’t go by what could be. Go by what is. If the situation improves then, awesome. Until it does, be honest about where things are, and protect yourself emotionally. My line of defense is detachment. [8:54] 3. Accept Awareness is recognizing that the spade. Acknowledging it is calling it a spade. Accepting it is letting it be what it is. Accepting doesn’t mean lying down and letting the other person walk all over you. If the person changes, it must be a decision that they make. We can inspire. We can influence. Ultimately, the decision to change must be theirs. [10:44] 4. Leave a paper trail. Keep a file. Anyone can put up a front, but it takes effort to maintain it. Passive-aggressive are in it for the long haul. They’re not used to people who can wait them out. [11:08] Therefore, your secret weapon against passive aggressive is patience. Anytime you confront them , they’re just deny it anyway. Fantastic GuidanceFebruary 25, 2020 by CLP14 from United StatesI have worked with a therapist for close to five years and Dr. Williams reinforces my therapist’s insights and guidance. Dr. Williams is spot on and I love her no nonsense approach. Her university students are lucky to have someone like her in their young lives. wish I’d had a professor like her early in my life, before I continued some codependent behaviors that caused a lot of pain.AmazingDecember 26, 2019 by Bentbutnotbroken74 from United StatesI love this podcast and I needed this info and positive but yet straight shooting delivery! Thank you!EmpoweringSeptember 29, 2019 by CamSays from United StatesI really appreciate Dr. Shayla’s ‘practical advice’ on dealing with toxic people. She encourages her listeners to take responsibility where they can, to learn that their own self love and respect is the most powerful force to use in relationships. She reminds you of your power so you can stop feeling like a victim. I agree with another commenter- PLEASE get new intro music!!! The current dissonance makes my ears bleed and is, well.....toxic to my enjoyment of the podcast.Love this!September 17,

Toxic People Profile: The Passive Aggressive [Episode 9]

Caring about what people think about you can actually be a symptom of another problem. The problem is a lack of self-esteem or self-confidence. There is a direct correlation between our confidence and our anxiety of what others think. That confidence, in turn, is related to our understanding of ourselves.In this episode I will address 4 key points:1. If anything where to happen to you today, would all those random people you’re so worried about be there for you?2. Watch out for people who put a burden on you that they wouldn’t take on themselves.3. Write down you fears (People tend to have trouble with this.)4. Give people permission to think whatever it is they think.

Caring about what people think about you can actually be a symptom of another problem. The problem is a lack of self-esteem or self-confidence. There is a direct correlation between our confidence and our anxiety of what others think. That confidence, in turn, is related to our understanding of ourselves. In this episode I will address 4 key points: 1. If anything where to happen to you today, would all those random people you’re so worried about be there for you? 2. Watch out for people who put a burden on you that they wouldn’t take on themselves. 3. Write down you fears (People tend to have trouble with this.) 4. Give people permission to think whatever it is they think.

How To Stop Caring What People Think About You [Episode 14]

The desire to win is human nature.  Winning gives us satisfaction, but is winning always a good thing?People might quote Winston Churchill when he said, “Never give in. Never give in. Never, never, never, never–in nothing great or small, large or petty–never give in, except to convictions of honour and good sense. Never yield to force. Never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy.” I used to use this quote to justify my actions, however, Churchill said this during the second World War.  His country was under attack.  This was a cry to fight back against a force that wanted to wipe them out.  This quote wasn’t meant to be on some personal development poster.  When it comes to interpersonal relationships, fighting to win is not always the best option.In episode, we examine 4 tips for determining how to pick your battles.Subscribe, Rate, and Review, I would be most grateful.support@TheToxicPeopleDetox.com

The desire to win is human nature. Winning gives us satisfaction, but is winning always a good thing? People might quote Winston Churchill when he said, “Never give in. Never give in. Never, never, never, never–in nothing great or small, large or petty–never give in, except to convictions of honour and good sense. Never yield to force. Never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy.” I used to use this quote to justify my actions, however, Churchill said this during the second World War. His country was under attack. This was a cry to fight back against a force that wanted to wipe them out. This quote wasn’t meant to be on some personal development poster. When it comes to interpersonal relationships, fighting to win is not always the best option. In episode, we examine 4 tips for determining how to pick your battles. Subscribe, Rate, and Review, I would be most grateful. support@TheToxicPeopleDetox.com

Picking Your Battles- When to Fight and When to Flee [Episode 42]

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