It's Ian's birthday (soon)! So he's running the dang podcast!!! For his Birthday Boy's Choice picks, he lands on two classic-adjacent tunes from years not yet covered on the show. "Happy Holidays" by Bing Crosby (with the Music Maid and Hal and John Scott Trotter and His Orchestra) seems like a commercial for hotels masquerading as a Christmas song, but it's actually a stealth New Year's song masquerading as musical theatre masquerading as a Christmas song. "Winter Weather" by Benny Goodman (with vocals by Peggy Lee and Art Lund) is a refreshing clarinet-heavy palate cleanser. The ranking music in this episode is the medley from history's greatest film, Muppet Family Christmas.

It's Ian's birthday (soon)! So he's running the dang podcast!!! For his Birthday Boy's Choice picks, he lands on two classic-adjacent tunes from years not yet covered on the show. "Happy Holidays" by Bing Crosby (with the Music Maid and Hal and John Scott Trotter and His Orchestra) seems like a commercial for hotels masquerading as a Christmas song, but it's actually a stealth New Year's song masquerading as musical theatre masquerading as a Christmas song. "Winter Weather" by Benny Goodman (with vocals by Peggy Lee and Art Lund) is a refreshing clarinet-heavy palate cleanser. The ranking music in this episode is the medley from history's greatest film, Muppet Family Christmas.

Episode 339: Birthday Boy's Big Band Christmas

We're back on our bullshit! Our bullshit being "dicussing listener requests". We take a look at two songs with a surprising amount in common - "Lonely Christmas" by WALLIS and "Alien Christmas" by Tay Zonday. Both are 2020 Christmas songs by artists who got their start by going viral on youtube - and both beg the question, "ok but is this good actually?" The ranking music in this episode is "Chocolate Rain" by Tay Zonday. Thank you to our #1 Fan TimeMachine for these requests!

We're back on our bullshit! Our bullshit being "dicussing listener requests". We take a look at two songs with a surprising amount in common - "Lonely Christmas" by WALLIS and "Alien Christmas" by Tay Zonday. Both are 2020 Christmas songs by artists who got their start by going viral on youtube - and both beg the question, "ok but is this good actually?" The ranking music in this episode is "Chocolate Rain" by Tay Zonday. Thank you to our #1 Fan TimeMachine for these requests!

Episode 338: Is the Jam Jar Half Empty or Half Full?

We're going to be taking our next scheduled episode off because we're doing some traveling this month. To help prepare us for our trip to the U.S., we're taking two requests for some good old fashioned American country music. "Christmas Time's A-Comin'" by Emmylou Harris is a song from a country tradition we enjoy, namely bluegrass. "364 Days to Go" by Brad Paisley is ... Well, it's definitely better than his other entry on our list. This week's ranking music is "Christmas Time's A-Comin'" as performed by Bill Monroe. Thank you to James for the requests!

We're going to be taking our next scheduled episode off because we're doing some traveling this month. To help prepare us for our trip to the U.S., we're taking two requests for some good old fashioned American country music. "Christmas Time's A-Comin'" by Emmylou Harris is a song from a country tradition we enjoy, namely bluegrass. "364 Days to Go" by Brad Paisley is ... Well, it's definitely better than his other entry on our list. This week's ranking music is "Christmas Time's A-Comin'" as performed by Bill Monroe. Thank you to James for the requests!

Episode 337: The Bluegrass is Greener

This week on HARK, we've got two songs with the same title and very different stakes. By request, we cover "Santa Please" by Bill Medley, a tale of alcoholism, regret and reconciliation at Christmas that leaves us troubled. Then, we discuss "Santa Please" by Toni Braxton, which is basically just four minutes of the singer sexily asking to speak to the manager about travel logistics. The manager is Santa Claus.   The ranking music in this episode is "Please Daddy Don't Get Drunk This Christmas" as performed by The Decemberists.   Thank you to Misty for requesting the Bill Medley song!

Episode 336: Santa Thanks

Sometimes we take requests, and sometimes we take a while to cover those requests. And sometimes, sometimes, someone who's waiting to hear us cover their request sends us back-up requests in case their first requests were not holidays-ish enough. Thus, sometimes -- specifically this time -- Ian uncerimoniously schedules those backup requests for an episode several years later even though one of them is about a incredibly sad real-world tragedy. Soooo, we're talking about "Christmas Eve Blues" by Blind Lemon Jefferson and "1913 Massacre" by Woody Guthrie. The ranking music for this episode is "Solidarity Forever" as performed by The Mountain Goats. Thank you to Myles for these (backup) requests!

Sometimes we take requests, and sometimes we take a while to cover those requests. And sometimes, sometimes, someone who's waiting to hear us cover their request sends us back-up requests in case their first requests were not holidays-ish enough. Thus, sometimes -- specifically this time -- Ian uncerimoniously schedules those backup requests for an episode several years later even though one of them is about a incredibly sad real-world tragedy. Soooo, we're talking about "Christmas Eve Blues" by Blind Lemon Jefferson and "1913 Massacre" by Woody Guthrie. The ranking music for this episode is "Solidarity Forever" as performed by The Mountain Goats. Thank you to Myles for these (backup) requests!

Episode 335: Backup Episode

Listen. When the universe gives us two songs titled "Feeling Like a Right James Blunt at Christmas" (by Death of Guitar Pop featuring James Buckley) and "Merry Christmas James Blunt" (by Wash Your Dirty Money With My Art featuring Martin Meincke), what are we supposed to do, NOT theme an episode around it? The ranking music in this episode is, I mean, exactly what you'd expect.

Listen. When the universe gives us two songs titled "Feeling Like a Right James Blunt at Christmas" (by Death of Guitar Pop featuring James Buckley) and "Merry Christmas James Blunt" (by Wash Your Dirty Money With My Art featuring Martin Meincke), what are we supposed to do, NOT theme an episode around it? The ranking music in this episode is, I mean, exactly what you'd expect.

Episode 334: James Bluntmas

It's that time of year again, baby! Blaze it up with us (figuratively) as we discuss two weed-related Christmas songs, "Green Christmas" by Snoop Dogg featuring Jenn Em, and "Merry Christmas Mary Jane" by Katie Pruitt. The ranking music in this episode is "Roll Me Up" by Willie Nelson featuring Jamey Johnson, Kris Kristofferson, and of course, Snoop Dogg.

It's that time of year again, baby! Blaze it up with us (figuratively) as we discuss two weed-related Christmas songs, "Green Christmas" by Snoop Dogg featuring Jenn Em, and "Merry Christmas Mary Jane" by Katie Pruitt. The ranking music in this episode is "Roll Me Up" by Willie Nelson featuring Jamey Johnson, Kris Kristofferson, and of course, Snoop Dogg.

Episode 333: Joy to the Weed

Easter and Passover are fast approaching, so as is HARK tradition, we listen to two more traditional, religious songs - one for Christmas, and one for Hanukkah. Except this year, we kind of blew it? You could call these songs religious, and they're both of a tradition, but we're going more folk festival than liturgical this year. "I Saw Three Ships" as performed by Sting offers us some whimsy from his weird phase (~1990-Present). Then, marking the second recontextualized Leonard Cohen song on our list (and thankfully, this time for Hanukkah), HAIM delivers a beautiful, haunting rendition of "If It Be Your Will". The ranking music in this episode is "Sad Trombone" by Sting and Shaggy.

Easter and Passover are fast approaching, so as is HARK tradition, we listen to two more traditional, religious songs - one for Christmas, and one for Hanukkah. Except this year, we kind of blew it? You could call these songs religious, and they're both of a tradition, but we're going more folk festival than liturgical this year. "I Saw Three Ships" as performed by Sting offers us some whimsy from his weird phase (~1990-Present). Then, marking the second recontextualized Leonard Cohen song on our list (and thankfully, this time for Hanukkah), HAIM delivers a beautiful, haunting rendition of "If It Be Your Will". The ranking music in this episode is "Sad Trombone" by Sting and Shaggy.

Episode 332: Sting, Stang, Stung

By request, we're taking our first look at the Christmas tunes of music legend Neil Diamond! "You Make It Feel Like Christmas" is nothing if not very, very Neil, while his rendition of "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer" is a dozen other things he was apparently trying out. The ranking music in this episode is (what else) "Sweet Caroline" by Neil Diamond. Thank you to Nearly Nearly Neil for these requests!

By request, we're taking our first look at the Christmas tunes of music legend Neil Diamond! "You Make It Feel Like Christmas" is nothing if not very, very Neil, while his rendition of "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer" is a dozen other things he was apparently trying out. The ranking music in this episode is (what else) "Sweet Caroline" by Neil Diamond. Thank you to Nearly Nearly Neil for these requests!

Episode 331: A Large Pile of Spaghetti

Just in time for Pi Day, we're covering two versions of the greatest Christmas song ever written about having some FUCKING PIE!!!  The ranking music in this episode is "Rocking Around the Christmas Tree" by Brenda Lee.

Just in time for Pi Day, we're covering two versions of the greatest Christmas song ever written about having some FUCKING PIE!!! The ranking music in this episode is "Rocking Around the Christmas Tree" by Brenda Lee.

Episode 330: Fucking Pie

Your hosts Ian &amp; RJ review and rank every Christmas, Hanukkah, winter, holiday, et cetera song.All of 'em. Even the bad ones. Especially the bad ones.

Love this PODCAST!

The hosts are a couple whose goal is to listen to, review, and rank EVERY holiday-themed song ever recorded.  That is a nearly impossible task; however, they have completed nearly 250 episodes and ranked nearly 500 songs.  While I do not always agree with the rankings, I always enjoy the discussion of the songs and the interplay between the hosts, RJ and Ian.   

The commentary is humorous, loving, intellectual, liberal, leftist, class conscious, socially responsible, etc  Like me, RJ and Ian have an avowed love of Sharon Jones and the Dap Kings.  Thanks to RJ&#39;s repeated references, I am now hooked on egg nog lattes.  I hope that you will check them out.  Nick

Listen to this podcast.

Swonderful.

Your hosts Ian &amp; RJ review and rank every Christmas, Hanukkah, winter, holiday, et cetera song. All of 'em. Even the bad ones. Especially the bad ones.

HARKpodcast

This week we discuss an anonymous request and a beautiful baffling miracle which both feature NPR personalities performing songs about being dominated by robots at Christmastime. "Chiron Beta Prime" by Jonathan Coulton and "Toymageddon" by Yo La Tengo, Ira Glass, and Eugene Mirman spin two captivating Christmas tales/post-apocalyptic visions. Alternate episode title: Wait Wait Don't Kill Me With Robots

Episode 92: This Dystopian Life

We get back into our requests backlog, covering two songs that sound very much of their time - 1937's "The Little Boy That Santa Claus Forgot" by Vera Lynn and 1996's "Merry Christmas Eve" by Better than Ezra.  Thanks to Brian for these requests!

We get back into our requests backlog, covering two songs that sound very much of their time - 1937's "The Little Boy That Santa Claus Forgot" by Vera Lynn and 1996's "Merry Christmas Eve" by Better than Ezra. Thanks to Brian for these requests!

Episode 182: Secretly Left-Handed

We're adding the 449th and 450th songs to our list, and that means it's MILESTONE TIME, BABY! Ian tries to find the greatest holiday song of all time and submits a familiar tune by a legendary artist that contains surprises and multitudes. RJ looks for the worst holiday song of all time and lands on a parody of "Let It Snow" that manages to both be both vulgar and prudish - and it ain't exactly easy on the ears, either.

We're adding the 449th and 450th songs to our list, and that means it's MILESTONE TIME, BABY! Ian tries to find the greatest holiday song of all time and submits a familiar tune by a legendary artist that contains surprises and multitudes. RJ looks for the worst holiday song of all time and lands on a parody of "Let It Snow" that manages to both be both vulgar and prudish - and it ain't exactly easy on the ears, either.

Episode 225: 70 Percent Exciting

This week we're celebrating summer blockbuster season with two holiday songs by or pertaining to America's favorite Will Smith, Will Smith! By request, we begin with a twangy plea from Scott Aukerman and Paul F. Tompkins to show a little kindness this holiday season, titled "Please Don't Joke About 'I, Robot' This Christmas". Then things get wild as "Will 2k" takes us on a journey through time with the Fresh Prince himself.  Thank you to an anonymous listener for requesting "Please Don't Joke About 'I, Robot' This Christmas'"!

This week we're celebrating summer blockbuster season with two holiday songs by or pertaining to America's favorite Will Smith, Will Smith! By request, we begin with a twangy plea from Scott Aukerman and Paul F. Tompkins to show a little kindness this holiday season, titled "Please Don't Joke About 'I, Robot' This Christmas". Then things get wild as "Will 2k" takes us on a journey through time with the Fresh Prince himself. Thank you to an anonymous listener for requesting "Please Don't Joke About 'I, Robot' This Christmas'"!

Episode 177: Will Smithmas

Joey Fatone

We address an anonymous request (probably from Santa) and review and rank two boy band originals (Santa's a big fan of boy bands). Listen in to hear us reminisce about the pop-est of 1990s pop music and answer the most important of questions: N'Sync or BSB?

Episode 22: Uncle Joey Fatone

This week's episode comes out on Diwali, the festival of lights celebrated in India and around the world! In honor of this bright and joyful holiday, RJ and Ian listen to two upbeat winter holiday songs about light - "Candlelight", a light-hearted Hanukkah parody by The Maccabeats, and "Light of Christmas", an odd and uneven Veggie Tales anthem by Owl City and tobyMac. Thanks again to Emma for requesting "Candlelight"!

Episode 44: Grab a Grandma, Flip a Latke

RJ's birthday is this week, and so it is time again for BIRTHDAY BOI'S CHOICE. Similar to Ian's 2018 birthday selections, RJ goes for two songs off of the same album - the best-selling holiday album of 1997, Hanson's Snowed In! In Hanson's third appearance on HARK, we discuss two more tracks penned by the brothers themselves - "At Christmas" and "Christmas Time".

RJ's birthday is this week, and so it is time again for BIRTHDAY BOI'S CHOICE. Similar to Ian's 2018 birthday selections, RJ goes for two songs off of the same album - the best-selling holiday album of 1997, Hanson's Snowed In! In Hanson's third appearance on HARK, we discuss two more tracks penned by the brothers themselves - "At Christmas" and "Christmas Time".

Episode 194: Call Me Isaac or Taylor or Zac

Our theme quickly goes off the rails this week as we cover another Bing Crosby classic (but one we hate) and a recent pop original by Colbie Callait (also bad). Corrections to some of our statements in this episode: Hawai'i was invaded in 1893, not 1898 - it was annexed in 1898. The Hawai'ian language is considered vulnerable, but not dying. Heroin, like alcohol, does not cause hallucinations. We hope this has been an informative preview of the episode.

Episode 30: Sex on the Beach with Santa Claus

Friend of the show Andy has served us with another request - this time for what could be the worst of all versions of Leonard Cohen's "Hallelujah": a Nativity/Good Friday centric cover by The Osmonds, recorded in the Year of our Lord 2015. To cleanse our palates, we then listened to Rufus Wainwright's "Spotlight on Christmas". Hallelujah.

Episode 84: A Mensch, The Osmonds, and Some Blood

As July draws to a close and the hottest days of summer (so far) hit the northern hemisphere, we return to that perennial source of bottom-of-the-list material: songs about spending the holidays in a warm place. But this year, there's a twist: The songs we listened to are actually good, it turns out! First, we enjoy the silly "(I'm Spending) Hanukkah in Santa Monica" by Tom Lehrer. Then, we discover an absolute jam in "Christmas in L.A." by Vulfpeck.

As July draws to a close and the hottest days of summer (so far) hit the northern hemisphere, we return to that perennial source of bottom-of-the-list material: songs about spending the holidays in a warm place. But this year, there's a twist: The songs we listened to are actually good, it turns out! First, we enjoy the silly "(I'm Spending) Hanukkah in Santa Monica" by Tom Lehrer. Then, we discover an absolute jam in "Christmas in L.A." by Vulfpeck.

Episode 230: All the Little Children and All the Big Children

Is the deed to a platinum mine a sound financial investment? And how much cash is actually in a five pound box of money? Could that song about talking sexy to Santa Claus so he'll bring you a yacht actually be a feminist anthem in disguise? We (sort of) answer these questions in this week's episode, in which RJ and Ian review and rank "Santa Baby" by Eartha Kitt and "Five Pound Box of Money" by Pearl Bailey. The Hairpin article mentioned is "The True Cost of Santa Baby": http://thehairpin.com/2013/12/the-true-cost-of-santa-baby Thank you to Andy for requesting "Five Pound Box of Money"! Check out Andy's blog where he talks about literature, film, comedy, podcasts, and other things: http://wahwriter.wordpress.com

Is the deed to a platinum mine a sound financial investment? And how much cash is actually in a five pound box of money? Could that song about talking sexy to Santa Claus so he'll bring you a yacht actually be a feminist anthem in disguise? We (sort of) answer these questions in this week's episode, in which RJ and Ian review and rank "Santa Baby" by Eartha Kitt and "Five Pound Box of Money" by Pearl Bailey. The Hairpin article mentioned is "The True Cost of Santa Baby": <a href="http://thehairpin.com/2013/12/the-true-cost-of-santa-baby" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">http://thehairpin.com/2013/12/the-true-cost-of-santa-baby</a> Thank you to Andy for requesting "Five Pound Box of Money"! Check out Andy's blog where he talks about literature, film, comedy, podcasts, and other things: <a href="http://wahwriter.wordpress.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">http://wahwriter.wordpress.com</a>

Episode 4: Non-sequential, Santa

It's almost Leif Erikson Day, and so this week we're covering songs from the land of fire and ice, Iceland! Perhaps predictably, we listen to a song by Bjork, whose rendition of "Jólakötturinn" is the perfect spooky song to kick off October. Then we revisit a Christmas standard with an Icelandic twist - "Ég fæ jólagjöf" by Katla María.

It's almost Leif Erikson Day, and so this week we're covering songs from the land of fire and ice, Iceland! Perhaps predictably, we listen to a song by Bjork, whose rendition of "Jólakötturinn" is the perfect spooky song to kick off October. Then we revisit a Christmas standard with an Icelandic twist - "Ég fæ jólagjöf" by Katla María.

Episode 189: Feliz Jól

Last week was a tough week, and this episode starts out pretty heavy. To take our minds off of the real world, we listen to some Christmas music from two animated worlds - "Sailor Moon Christmas" and "I'm Giving Santa a Pikachu This Christmas". We loved these characters as kids - do the Christmas albums hold up? Results are mixed.

Episode 54: Moon Christmas Thunder Shock!

We cover more listener requests! Warm up your love-lights for the stirring Bing Crosby classic "I'll Be Home For Christmas", followed by Relient K's dirge of adolescent holiday heartache, "I Hate Christmas Parties".  Thank you to Philip for these requests!

We cover more listener requests! Warm up your love-lights for the stirring Bing Crosby classic "I'll Be Home For Christmas", followed by Relient K's dirge of adolescent holiday heartache, "I Hate Christmas Parties". Thank you to Philip for these requests!

Episode 195: Team Plan vs. Team Count

As Pride month comes to an end, RJ and Ian review and rank two gay-themed Christmas tunes. Queercore punk band Pansy Division's "Homo Christmas" charms our pants off, while "RuPaul the Red Nosed Drag Queen" leaves some lingering questions.

Episode 24: Santa's Annual Christmas Eve Outdoor Drag Show

This request was anonymous: to begin with. There is no doubt whatever about that. Having been tasked with covering a song of our choosing from the Muppet Christmas Carol, we select the cheerful "It Feels Like Christmas" performed (primarily) by Jerry Nelson. As RJ is particularly biased towards Muppets, we then endeavor to find the worst Muppets Christmas song in existence, and possibly find it in "Christmas Smorgasbord".

Episode 62: Wherever You Find Love, It Feels Like Muppets

By listener request, we tackle two Christmas songs from cartoon characters: "When the Saints Go Marching In" performed by the voice of Sailor Moon, Kotono Mitsuishi, and the novelty standard "The Chipmunk Song (Christmas Don't Be Late)" performed by Ross Bagdasarian Sr. as The Chipmunks. Whether you find these tunes cute or cloying may depend on your level of nostalgia - listen in to hear which one causes our biggest ranking disagreement yet. Thank you to listener CJ for the request!

Episode 72: Sailor Alvin, Sailor Simon, Sailor Theodore

We're back! And while we may have missed Canada Day on July 1st, we've got some requests to help us fill our CanCon requirements. Ontario's comedy trio The Arrogant Worms provide two holiday tracks for us to dissect - "Christmastime" and "Vincent the Christmas Virus".  Thank you to Michael (probably) for the requests!

We're back! And while we may have missed Canada Day on July 1st, we've got some requests to help us fill our CanCon requirements. Ontario's comedy trio The Arrogant Worms provide two holiday tracks for us to dissect - "Christmastime" and "Vincent the Christmas Virus". Thank you to Michael (probably) for the requests!

Episode 226: Canadian Content

We lose a joke into the ether, discuss the fate of the project after we die in the post-podcast future, and reveal STARTLING new information that will change the holiday romcom world... forever. What does Administrative Professionals Day and two Christmas novelty songs from the UK have to do with all this? We're connecting the dots this week. Wake up, sheeple. Thanks to Russell for the request!

Episode 118: Our British Christmas Conspiracy Corkboard

How do we follow an episode of two fun, charming, wonderful songs by legendary musicians? By reviewing and ranking two weird, dull, mystifying songs by legendary musicians, of course! RJ and Ian try to decipher the how and why of Tom Petty's "Christmas All Over Again" and struggle to understand anything at all about Bob Dylan's "Must Be Santa". Many thanks to our friend Andy for requesting "Must Be Santa"! You can check out Andy's work at wahwriter.wordpress.com, or follow him on twitter @ DeputyMasterWAH! For links to all the stuff we talked about in this episode, check our tumblr: harkpodcast.tumblr.com!

How do we follow an episode of two fun, charming, wonderful songs by legendary musicians? By reviewing and ranking two weird, dull, mystifying songs by legendary musicians, of course! RJ and Ian try to decipher the how and why of Tom Petty's "Christmas All Over Again" and struggle to understand anything at all about Bob Dylan's "Must Be Santa". Many thanks to our friend Andy for requesting "Must Be Santa"! You can check out Andy's work at <a href="http://wahwriter.wordpress.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">wahwriter.wordpress.com</a>, or follow him on twitter @ DeputyMasterWAH! For links to all the stuff we talked about in this episode, check our tumblr: <a href="http://harkpodcast.tumblr.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">harkpodcast.tumblr.com</a>!

Episode 19: The Baffling Wilburys

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