The dating landscape is constantly changing due to societal factors, personal values, and of course, technology. With hundreds of dating apps and websites flooding the market, connecting with likeminded individuals has never been easier!But why do so many helpless romantics struggle with finding true love? In this episode of the Psych Bytes podcast, Craig Pohlman, Ph.D., and Jennifer Fights, LPC, analyze the current dating landscape and share practical tips on how you can level up in the dating game and find true love.

The dating landscape is constantly changing due to societal factors, personal values, and of course, technology. With hundreds of dating apps and websites flooding the market, connecting with likeminded individuals has never been easier! But why do so many helpless romantics struggle with finding true love? In this episode of the Psych Bytes podcast, Craig Pohlman, Ph.D., and Jennifer Fights, LPC, analyze the current dating landscape and share practical tips on how you can level up in the dating game and find true love.

The Quest For Love: Leveling Up In The Dating Game

What does it mean to be a family? Some exclude families to only parents and blood relatives. Others define families as people who you genuinely love, trust, and care about. In this episode of the Psych Bytes Podcast, Craig Pohlman, Ph.D., and Jennifer Fights, LPC, share their thoughts and definitions on the term "family" and share practical tips on how you can overcome challenges and obstacles that many "families" face. How do you define family? In honor of March Madness, we created a "March Family Madness" bracket. Each conference is sorted by "a type" of family, those types being: Animated Families, Sitcom Families, Reality TV Families, and Chosen Families. Make your selections below based on YOUR definition of family. Don't forget to share your results and let us know why you selected your champion family. Note: If you cannot see the bracket below, click on this link. var eventMethod = window.addEventListener ? "addEventListener" : "attachEvent"; var messageEvent = eventMethod == "attachEvent" ? "onmessage" : "message"; windoweventMethod { return;}   var iframeWrap = document.getElementById("brackify-iframe-wrap");   if (iframeWrap) {     if (e.data["scroll"]) {       var bodyRect = document.body.getBoundingClientRect();       var elemRect = iframeWrap.getBoundingClientRect();       var offset = elemRect.top - bodyRect.top + e.data["scroll"];       window.scrollTo(0, offset);     }     if (e.data["bracket-completed"]) {       if (window.brackifyBracketCompletedHandler) {  window.brackifyBracketCompletedHandler() }     }     if (e.data["resize"]) { iframeWrap.style.height = (parseInt(e.data["resize"])) + "px"; }   } }, false);

What does it mean to be a family? Some exclude families to only parents and blood relatives. Others define families as people who you genuinely love, trust, and care about. In this episode of the Psych Bytes Podcast, Craig Pohlman, Ph.D., and Jennifer Fights, LPC, share their thoughts and definitions on the term "family" and share practical tips on how you can overcome challenges and obstacles that many "families" face. How do you define family? In honor of March Madness, we created a "March Family Madness" bracket. Each conference is sorted by "a type" of family, those types being: Animated Families, Sitcom Families, Reality TV Families, and Chosen Families. Make your selections below based on YOUR definition of family. Don't forget to share your results and let us know why you selected your champion family. Note: If you cannot see the bracket below, click on this link. var eventMethod = window.addEventListener ? "addEventListener" : "attachEvent"; var messageEvent = eventMethod == "attachEvent" ? "onmessage" : "message"; window<a href="messageEvent, function(e) { if (e.origin !=" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">eventMethod</a> { return;} var iframeWrap = document.getElementById("brackify-iframe-wrap"); if (iframeWrap) { if (e.data["scroll"]) { var bodyRect = document.body.getBoundingClientRect(); var elemRect = iframeWrap.getBoundingClientRect(); var offset = elemRect.top - bodyRect.top + e.data["scroll"]; window.scrollTo(0, offset); } if (e.data["bracket-completed"]) { if (window.brackifyBracketCompletedHandler) { window.brackifyBracketCompletedHandler() } } if (e.data["resize"]) { iframeWrap.style.height = (parseInt(e.data["resize"])) + "px"; } } }, false);

March Family Madness: Taking “Your Team” All The Way

Is social media good? Is social media bad? How much information is too much information to share with social networks?In this episode of the Psych Bytes podcast, Craig Pohlman, Ph.D., and Jennifer Fights, LPC, discuss both the positive and negative effects of social media.

Is social media good? Is social media bad? How much information is too much information to share with social networks? In this episode of the Psych Bytes podcast, Craig Pohlman, Ph.D., and Jennifer Fights, LPC, discuss both the positive and negative effects of social media.

Social Media: Friend or Foe?

Hi everyone! I'm Leia Charnin, a counseling psychologist here at Southeast Psych, and I'm going to be talking to you today about psychology. I know, shocking!When clients come into the office they're often times questioning about different ways of working in therapy and these questions can come up about what different methods of therapy are. For example, cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), acceptance commitment therapy (ACT); all these different terms that we throw around within our field.I'm a therapist who does both individual and group therapy and I focus on issues related to anxiety, depression, and trauma. Within those domains, there's a lot of acronyms that we tend to throw around that may confuse people. With that being said, Psych Bytes decided to create a series called “The ABCs of Psychology.”Our goal with this series is to create a more conversational dialogue about the different modalities of therapy so you are more informed and aware.I'm going to start off with a couple of different acronyms, and the jargon that we like to throw around, and also present a couple of different examples that we might use in a session. Click here for more content by Leia Charnin, Ph.D.!

Hi everyone! I'm Leia Charnin, a counseling psychologist here at Southeast Psych, and I'm going to be talking to you today about psychology. I know, shocking! When clients come into the office they're often times questioning about different ways of working in therapy and these questions can come up about what different methods of therapy are. For example, cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), acceptance commitment therapy (ACT); all these different terms that we throw around within our field. I'm a therapist who does both individual and group therapy and I focus on issues related to anxiety, depression, and trauma. Within those domains, there's a lot of acronyms that we tend to throw around that may confuse people. With that being said, Psych Bytes decided to create a series called “The ABCs of Psychology.” Our goal with this series is to create a more conversational dialogue about the different modalities of therapy so you are more informed and aware. I'm going to start off with a couple of different acronyms, and the jargon that we like to throw around, and also present a couple of different examples that we might use in a session. Click here for more content by Leia Charnin, Ph.D.!

ABCs of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

Why do we find things funny? In this episode of the Psych Bytes Podcast, Craig Pohlman, Ph.D., and Jennifer Fights, LPC, do a deep dive into the psychology of humor.

Why Do We Find Things Funny? The Psychology of Humor

Calm

From Chaos to Calm: The Practice of MindfulnessMindfulness is a popular buzzword these days. It’s written about in blogs, discussed on podcasts, and encouraged at corporate retreats.But what is mindfulness and how should we go about understanding it and incorporating into our daily lives?In this episode of the Psych Bytes Podcast, Craig Pohlman, Ph.D., and Jennifer Fights, LPC, do a deep dive into the history, psychology, and benefits of mindfulness!

From Chaos to Calm: The Practice of Mindfulness Mindfulness is a popular buzzword these days. It’s written about in blogs, discussed on podcasts, and encouraged at corporate retreats. But what is mindfulness and how should we go about understanding it and incorporating into our daily lives? In this episode of the Psych Bytes Podcast, Craig Pohlman, Ph.D., and Jennifer Fights, LPC, do a deep dive into the history, psychology, and benefits of mindfulness!

From Chaos to Calm: The Practice of Mindfulness

Rest for the Weary: Mental Health Benefits of DowntimeHow rested do you feel right now? Americans, in particular, are struggling with rest. The United States produces a lot of research on the benefits of downtime, yet our country seems to be the one receiving the least amount of time off.In this episode of the Psych Bytes podcast, Craig Pohlman, Ph.D., and Jennifer Fights, LPC, analyzes a few reasons why Americans are getting less rest. They also share practical tips and tricks on how to ensure that your downtime is spent wisely!

Rest for the Weary: Mental Health Benefits of Downtime How rested do you feel right now? Americans, in particular, are struggling with rest. The United States produces a lot of research on the benefits of downtime, yet our country seems to be the one receiving the least amount of time off. In this episode of the Psych Bytes podcast, Craig Pohlman, Ph.D., and Jennifer Fights, LPC, analyzes a few reasons why Americans are getting less rest. They also share practical tips and tricks on how to ensure that your downtime is spent wisely!

Rest for the Weary: Mental Health Benefits of Downtime

Tribalism and Groupthink: Unite for the Right ReasonsIn this episode of the Psych Bytes podcast, Craig Pohlman, Ph.D., and Jennifer Fights, LPC, are discussing tribalism and groupthink. They explain how and why we divide ourselves along political and cultural fault lines.Tribalism can be a real problem. So, how can we recognize our own tribalism and put an end to this phenomenon? Here are our 8 tips to put an end to tribalism:8 Ways to Put an End to Tribalism:Ask yourself what makes you an individual. What makes you special? What makes you unique? Remember, you ARE different from others in your "tribe"Embrace a level of skepticism. Be willing to question your own beliefs and consider the beliefs of others. Maybe you're wrong. Maybe the other tribe is wrong. Who knows, you might both be right and you might both be wrong! Be skeptical!Expose yourself to contradictory ideas. There are many different views, ideas, and beliefs in the world. Expose yourself to different viewpoints.Practice theory of mind. Theory of mind is being able the take the perspective of another person. Ask yourself the following question: "why would this person think or believe this?"Acknowledge diversity within groups. Understand that people in tribes are completely different. Just because an individual aligns with a particular tribe does not mean they are like everyone else in that tribe. Avoid "lumping" groups of people together!Tackle groupthink head-on. Talk and notice groupthink within your own "tribe". Select one individual in your group and have them be the "devil's advocate" and address opposing thoughts and viewpoints. For more information on groupthink, continue reading this article!Get proximate. If you want to understand an issue, you have to get next to the people who understand other ideas, issues, and experiences. This could take the form of traveling, reading, or sitting down and talking with someone else who thinks differently from you.Focus on what is shared. Pay attention to what you have in common with other people and avoid focusing on what divides us.What is Groupthink and How Does It Relate to Tribalism?For our tribalism breakaway segments, Dave Verhaagen, Ph.D., talks about groupthink. Groupthink is a psychological phenomenon when a group of people start thinking with one mind.Yale psychologist, Irving Janis, first coined the term in 1972 to describe the systematic errors groups make with their decisions. These groups share the same beliefs, consider the same facts, fail to consider other facts, and come to the same conclusions.Groupthink sounds like a good thing until you realize the group then loses the ability to objectively evaluate alternatives and options. As a result, the group tends to make irrational decisions and take irrational actions. These groups almost always overestimate how solid their positions are and feel like they are making the necessary and morally correct choices.Janis found three conditions that produce groupthink: high group cohesiveness, structural faults, and situational context.High group cohesiveness is when people are more concerned about the harmony of the group than rocking the boat. This is the MOST important.Structural faults are when the group tends to be more isolated from other groups or has strong, but biased leadership.Situational context refers to factors such as high stress, time pressures, or a history of recent failures.We see groupthink and tribalism EVERYWHERE! It can be found in politics, religion, business, professional organizations, and in social clubs and groups. Start to monitor and analyze your surroundings and don't fall prey to groupthink. It is NEVER a good thing!

Tribalism and Groupthink: Unite for the Right Reasons In this episode of the Psych Bytes podcast, Craig Pohlman, Ph.D., and Jennifer Fights, LPC, are discussing tribalism and groupthink. They explain how and why we divide ourselves along political and cultural fault lines. Tribalism can be a real problem. So, how can we recognize our own tribalism and put an end to this phenomenon? Here are our 8 tips to put an end to tribalism: 8 Ways to Put an End to Tribalism: Ask yourself what makes you an individual. What makes you special? What makes you unique? Remember, you ARE different from others in your "tribe" Embrace a level of skepticism. Be willing to question your own beliefs and consider the beliefs of others. Maybe you're wrong. Maybe the other tribe is wrong. Who knows, you might both be right and you might both be wrong! Be skeptical! Expose yourself to contradictory ideas. There are many different views, ideas, and beliefs in the world. Expose yourself to different viewpoints. Practice theory of mind. Theory of mind is being able the take the perspective of another person. Ask yourself the following question: "why would this person think or believe this?" Acknowledge diversity within groups. Understand that people in tribes are completely different. Just because an individual aligns with a particular tribe does not mean they are like everyone else in that tribe. Avoid "lumping" groups of people together! Tackle groupthink head-on. Talk and notice groupthink within your own "tribe". Select one individual in your group and have them be the "devil's advocate" and address opposing thoughts and viewpoints. For more information on groupthink, continue reading this article! Get proximate. If you want to understand an issue, you have to get next to the people who understand other ideas, issues, and experiences. This could take the form of traveling, reading, or sitting down and talking with someone else who thinks differently from you. Focus on what is shared. Pay attention to what you have in common with other people and avoid focusing on what divides us. What is Groupthink and How Does It Relate to Tribalism? For our tribalism breakaway segments, Dave Verhaagen, Ph.D., talks about groupthink. Groupthink is a psychological phenomenon when a group of people start thinking with one mind. Yale psychologist, Irving Janis, first coined the term in 1972 to describe the systematic errors groups make with their decisions. These groups share the same beliefs, consider the same facts, fail to consider other facts, and come to the same conclusions. Groupthink sounds like a good thing until you realize the group then loses the ability to objectively evaluate alternatives and options. As a result, the group tends to make irrational decisions and take irrational actions. These groups almost always overestimate how solid their positions are and feel like they are making the necessary and morally correct choices. Janis found three conditions that produce groupthink: high group cohesiveness, structural faults, and situational context. High group cohesiveness is when people are more concerned about the harmony of the group than rocking the boat. This is the MOST important. Structural faults are when the group tends to be more isolated from other groups or has strong, but biased leadership. Situational context refers to factors such as high stress, time pressures, or a history of recent failures. We see groupthink and tribalism EVERYWHERE! It can be found in politics, religion, business, professional organizations, and in social clubs and groups. Start to monitor and analyze your surroundings and don't fall prey to groupthink. It is NEVER a good thing!

Tribalism and Groupthink: Unite for the Right Reasons

What is prison really like? In this episode, we are talking about incarceration – mental health implications and issues related to re-entry into society.  Craig Pohlman, Ph.D., Jennifer Fights, LPC, will discuss the history of incarceration in the United States. They also have an in-depth discussion with special guest Gemini Boyd (founder of Project Bolt), who was incarcerated for 20 years and is grappling with the challenges of re-entry. Support Gemini Boyd and Project Bolt through the following ways:  Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/ProjectBOLT/ Twitter – https://twitter.com/boyd_gemini Email – jboyd0818@gmail.com  Recommended Readings to Learn More About the History of Our Criminal Justice System, Incarceration, and Mental Health  Black Codes (United States) – Wikipedia Southern Program Continued Slavery Long After the Civil War – Stephanie Buck Does An Exception Clause in 13th Amendment Still Permit Slavery? – Becky Little Convict Lease System – Digital History It Happened in Florida: Remarkable Events That Shaped History – E. Lynne Wright Worse Than Slavery – David M. Oshinsky Criminal Justice Fact Sheet – NAACP Bill Clinton and the 1994 Crime Bill – Robert Farley Mass Incarceration: The Whole Pie 2019 – Wendy Sawyer and Peter Wagner Yes, U.S. Locks People Up At A Higher Rate – Michelle Ye Hee Lee  (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});   Racial Inequities and Our Criminal Justice System Jen Neitzel, Ph.D. – Executive Director of the Education Equity Institute According to the Sentencing Project, 1 in 3 Black men is likely to spend time in prison in their lifetime, compared to 1 in 17 White men. The racial disparity also exists for women. 1 in 111 White women will spend time in prison, however, with Black women this likelihood increases to 1 in 18. It is hard to ignore the connection between the educational system and the criminal justice system when we look at these statistics in conjunction with suspension and expulsion rates for Black children versus White children. Statistics indicate that Black children are 1.8 times more likely to receive an out-of-school suspension than their White peers, with Black boys being more affected by these disciplinary actions. In fact, they are suspended or expelled at a rate of 3.5 times greater than White children. Although suspensions and expulsions are generally associated with older children, recent statistics suggest that an alarming number of young children, who are overwhelmingly Black, are being excluded from early learning environments. The U.S. Department of Education’s Office for Civil Rights has reported that young Black children are suspended or expelled at up to 4 times the rate of White children. Once a child is suspended from school even one time, he or she is more likely to be suspended repeatedly, drop out of school, or enter the criminal justice system – hence the phrase “school-to-prison pipeline.” In fact, the incarceration industry looks at 3rd-grade reading levels and suspension rates to determine when and where to build new prisons. A key piece that is needed to unravel the ties between our educational and criminal justice systems is to dig deeper into the root causes and historical underpinnings of today’s practices. Beginning in the late 1800s, vagrancy laws, which required Blacks to be able to prove that they had jobs, were particularly malicious. Jobs were very hard to come by in early Jim Crow. If Black people (primarily Black men) were unable to prove that they were employed, they were immediately convicted by law enforcement. The most common way for Black people to overcome their debts to society was forced labor on former plantations and in private companies. By 1880, nearly 25 percent of these convicts were children; some as young as six years of age. As such, many Black children could not attend school, and when they did their learning experiences were woefully inferior. These policies, in conjunction with the social construction of the Black male as deviant, has led to a tendency to view Black boys as older than they are, known more simply as adultification. From the beginning of their lives, Black boys are “scripted out of childhood humanity,” which has direct implications about the expectations we have for them, both academically and behaviorally. Black boys often are on the receiving end of a presumption of guilt and wrongdoing even when the evidence says otherwise, which directly feeds into the criminal justice system.  We have much work to do in this country. Centuries of inequitable policies and practices have ensured the mass incarceration of Black boys and men, as well as Black women and girls. It will take a collective effort to reform the current educational and criminal justice systems. For those of us who aren’t in the weeds of social justice work, there are still actions you can take to assist in the cause.  1. Read, educate yourselves about race, racism, and the true history of our country. Attend community events focused on race. Get proximate to people who don’t look like you and who have had different experiences than you. Build authentic relationships, not ones grounded in saviorism and paternalism. Get comfortable with being uncomfortable. 2. Follow Black journalists, authors, and leaders on social media. They are the truth-tellers, and we need to listen to them.  3. Educate yourselves about candidates and vote for those who are focused on disrupting the systems, not those who are focused on maintaining the status quo by placing band-aids on the problem or ignoring the root causes. For those of us within the educational system, it is essential that school personnel are adequately trained regarding racial inequities and how to address them throughout the day. This means moving beyond diversity training and the implementation of isolated literacy and social skills interventions that do not address root causes. There must be an increased focus on implementing culturally responsive anti-bias practices, addressing trauma in a meaningful way, and helping educators manage behaviors in a way that keeps children in the classroom and out of the principal’s office.  Finally, policies must be reformed to severely limit the use of suspensions and expulsions so that we can help disrupt the school-to-prison pipeline.  (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});   The Real Story of Calvin’s Incarceration and Experience in Prison Calvin idolized his uncle, who filled a mentor role with his father out of his life. Now that Calvin was an adult he saw his uncle more as a peer, but he still revered him and sought him out regularly for guidance. So one day when his uncle asked him to come to his place to do a favor, Calvin headed over without hesitation. What he found there shook him to the core. A dead body. His uncle assured him that all could be explained, but that he needed him to dispose of the body across town- to find a dumpster and leave it there. Calvin was torn between wanting to walk away and helping the man who had helped him so many times in his life. He made the fateful decision to do what his uncle asked. Over the next few days, he could of nothing except the corpse he had abandoned in that dumpster. His uncle never checked in with him and he did not return calls or texts. A week later the police arrived at Calvin’s door. He was arrested, charged, and convicted with accessory to murder. His uncle never vouched for him or admitted his culpability. Only Calvin went to prison, burdened with a lengthy sentence as well as the betrayal of someone so important to him. He was traumatized even before his cell door slammed shut. The trauma of the betrayal Calvin suffered was amplified by what he saw and experienced behind bars. Weeks turned to months turned to years, and Calvin’s mental health deteriorated even as he accessed on-site counseling services. Sensing weakness, some inmates taunted Calvin, even suggesting that he take his own life. They told him to be sure to go uptown, rather than crosstown, to do the job right. Meaning- make a long gash from his wrist up to his forearm, rather than across his wrist, so that he will bleed out faster. One day Calvin took that advice, going uptown when he was alone in the shower room. A guard on rounds happened upon him just moments before he slipped away. His physical wounds were healed during a stay in the infirmary. But he was even more traumatized upon his return to the general population. All he could do was go back for more counseling. Which, by the way, was provided by fellow inmates, under the supervision of a psychologist who never met face-to-face with Calvin even once. Those inmates were paid $5 a month for providing so-called therapy…

What is prison really like? In this episode, we are talking about incarceration – mental health implications and issues related to re-entry into society. Craig Pohlman, Ph.D., Jennifer Fights, LPC, will discuss the history of incarceration in the United States. They also have an in-depth discussion with special guest Gemini Boyd (founder of Project Bolt), who was incarcerated for 20 years and is grappling with the challenges of re-entry. Support Gemini Boyd and Project Bolt through the following ways: <ul> <li>Facebook – <a href="https://www.facebook.com/ProjectBOLT/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.facebook.com/ProjectBOLT/</a></li> <li>Twitter – <a href="https://twitter.com/boyd_gemini" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://twitter.com/boyd_gemini</a></li> <li>Email – jboyd0818@gmail.com</li> </ul> <h3>Recommended Readings to Learn More About the History of Our Criminal Justice System, Incarceration, and Mental Health</h3> <ul> <li>Black Codes (United States) – <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_Codes_(United_States)" rel="noreferrer noopener nofollow" target="_blank">Wikipedia</a></li> <li>Southern Program Continued Slavery Long After the Civil War – <a href="https://timeline.com/convict-leasing-slavery-1fd126f4ad0c" rel="noreferrer noopener nofollow" target="_blank">Stephanie Buck</a></li> <li>Does An Exception Clause in 13th Amendment Still Permit Slavery? – <a href="https://www.history.com/news/13th-amendment-slavery-loophole-jim-crow-prisons" rel="noreferrer noopener nofollow" target="_blank">Becky Little</a></li> <li>Convict Lease System – <a href="http://www.digitalhistory.uh.edu/disp_textbook.cfm?smtid=2&amp;psid=3179" rel="noreferrer noopener nofollow" target="_blank">Digital History</a></li> <li>It Happened in Florida: Remarkable Events That Shaped History – <a href="https://books.google.com/books?id=RqKU1t8Js4cC&amp;pg" rel="noreferrer noopener nofollow" target="_blank">E. Lynne Wright</a></li> <li>Worse Than Slavery – <a href="https://books.google.com/books?id=lgRYuftJ6wQC&amp;dq" rel="noreferrer noopener nofollow" target="_blank">David M. Oshinsky</a></li> <li>Criminal Justice Fact Sheet – NAACP</li> <li>Bill Clinton and the 1994 Crime Bill – <a href="https://www.factcheck.org/2016/04/bill-clinton-and-the-1994-crime-bill/" rel="noreferrer noopener nofollow" target="_blank">Robert Farley</a></li> <li>Mass Incarceration: The Whole Pie 2019 – <a href="https://www.prisonpolicy.org/reports/pie2019.html" rel="noreferrer noopener nofollow" target="_blank">Wendy Sawyer and Peter Wagner</a></li> <li>Yes, U.S. Locks People Up At A Higher Rate – <a href="https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/fact-checker/wp/2015/07/07/yes-u-s-locks-people-up-at-a-higher-rate-than-any-other-country/?noredirect=on" rel="noreferrer noopener nofollow" target="_blank">Michelle Ye Hee Lee</a></li> </ul> <center> (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); </center> <h3>Racial Inequities and Our Criminal Justice System</h3> Jen Neitzel, Ph.D. – Executive Director of the <a href="https://educationalequityinstitute.com/" rel="noreferrer noopener nofollow" target="_blank">Education Equity Institute</a> According to the Sentencing Project, 1 in 3 Black men is likely to spend time in prison in their lifetime, compared to 1 in 17 White men. The racial disparity also exists for women. 1 in 111 White women will spend time in prison, however, with Black women this likelihood increases to 1 in 18. It is hard to ignore the connection between the educational system and the criminal justice system when we look at these statistics in conjunction with suspension and expulsion rates for Black children versus White children. Statistics indicate that Black children are 1.8 times more likely to receive an out-of-school suspension than their White peers, with Black boys being more affected by these disciplinary actions. In fact, they are suspended or expelled at a rate of 3.5 times greater than White children. Although suspensions and expulsions are generally associated with older children, recent statistics suggest that an alarming number of young children, who are overwhelmingly Black, are being excluded from early learning environments. The U.S. Department of Education’s Office for Civil Rights has reported that young Black children are suspended or expelled at up to 4 times the rate of White children. Once a child is suspended from school even one time, he or she is more likely to be suspended repeatedly, drop out of school, or enter the criminal justice system – hence the phrase “school-to-prison pipeline.” In fact, the incarceration industry looks at 3rd-grade reading levels and suspension rates to determine when and where to build new prisons. A key piece that is needed to unravel the ties between our educational and criminal justice systems is to dig deeper into the root causes and historical underpinnings of today’s practices. Beginning in the late 1800s, vagrancy laws, which required Blacks to be able to prove that they had jobs, were particularly malicious. Jobs were very hard to come by in early Jim Crow. If Black people (primarily Black men) were unable to prove that they were employed, they were immediately convicted by law enforcement. The most common way for Black people to overcome their debts to society was forced labor on former plantations and in private companies. By 1880, nearly 25 percent of these convicts were children; some as young as six years of age. As such, many Black children could not attend school, and when they did their learning experiences were woefully inferior. These policies, in conjunction with the social construction of the Black male as deviant, has led to a tendency to view Black boys as older than they are, known more simply as adultification. From the beginning of their lives, Black boys are “scripted out of childhood humanity,” which has direct implications about the expectations we have for them, both academically and behaviorally. Black boys often are on the receiving end of a presumption of guilt and wrongdoing even when the evidence says otherwise, which directly feeds into the criminal justice system. We have much work to do in this country. Centuries of inequitable policies and practices have ensured the mass incarceration of Black boys and men, as well as Black women and girls. It will take a collective effort to reform the current educational and criminal justice systems. For those of us who aren’t in the weeds of social justice work, there are still actions you can take to assist in the cause. 1. Read, educate yourselves about race, racism, and the true history of our country. Attend community events focused on race. Get proximate to people who don’t look like you and who have had different experiences than you. Build authentic relationships, not ones grounded in saviorism and paternalism. Get comfortable with being uncomfortable. 2. Follow Black journalists, authors, and leaders on social media. They are the truth-tellers, and we need to listen to them. 3. Educate yourselves about candidates and vote for those who are focused on disrupting the systems, not those who are focused on maintaining the status quo by placing band-aids on the problem or ignoring the root causes. For those of us within the educational system, it is essential that school personnel are adequately trained regarding racial inequities and how to address them throughout the day. This means moving beyond diversity training and the implementation of isolated literacy and social skills interventions that do not address root causes. There must be an increased focus on implementing culturally responsive anti-bias practices, addressing trauma in a meaningful way, and helping educators manage behaviors in a way that keeps children in the classroom and out of the principal’s office. Finally, policies must be reformed to severely limit the use of suspensions and expulsions so that we can help disrupt the school-to-prison pipeline. <center> (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); </center> <h3>The Real Story of Calvin’s Incarceration and Experience in Prison</h3> Calvin idolized his uncle, who filled a mentor role with his father out of his life. Now that Calvin was an adult he saw his uncle more as a peer, but he still revered him and sought him out regularly for guidance. So one day when his uncle asked him to come to his place to do a favor, Calvin headed over without hesitation. What he found there shook him to the core. A dead body. His uncle assured him that all could be explained, but that he needed him to dispose of the body across town- to find a dumpster and leave it there. Calvin was torn between wanting to walk away and helping the man who had helped him so many times in his life. He made the fateful decision to do what his uncle asked. Over the next few days, he could of nothing except the corpse he had abandoned in that dumpster. His uncle never checked in with him and he did not return calls or texts. A week later the police arrived at Calvin’s door. He was arrested, charged, and convicted with accessory to murder. His uncle never vouched for him or admitted his culpability. Only Calvin went to prison, burdened with a lengthy sentence as well as the betrayal of someone so important to him. He was traumatized even before his cell door slammed shut. The trauma of the betrayal Calvin suffered was amplified by what he saw and experienced behind bars. Weeks turned to months turned to years, and Calvin’s mental health deteriorated even as he accessed on-site counseling services. Sensing weakness, some inmates taunted Calvin, even suggesting that he take his own life. They told him to be sure to go uptown, rather than crosstown, to do the job right. Meaning- make a long gash from his wrist up to his forearm, rather than across his wrist, so that he will bleed out faster. One day Calvin took that advice, going uptown when he was alone in the shower room. A guard on rounds happened upon him just moments before he slipped away. His physical wounds were healed during a stay in the infirmary. But he was even more traumatized upon his return to the general population. All he could do was go back for more counseling. Which, by the way, was provided by fellow inmates, under the supervision of a psychologist who never met face-to-face with Calvin even once. Those inmates were paid $5 a month for providing so-called therapy…

20 Years Behind Bars: Incarceration, Re-Entry, and Mental Health

In this episode of the Psych Bytes podcast, we discuss trigger warnings, snowflakes, and safe spaces, specifically in the workplace or education system.Before we jump into the episode, let’s discuss some of these terms from a mental health perspective and our feelings/beliefs on these terms.Trigger Warnings, Snowflakes, and Safe SpacesFrom a mental health perspective, a trigger warning is a psychological stimulus that can very clearly be pointed to a thing (it can be a certain person, place, situation, circumstance, etc.) and how that thing “triggers” an individual’s identifiable trauma. Our problem with the term “trigger warning” is that this term and phrase has been watered down. This very important term was (and still is) used as a psychological “cause and effect” for trauma. Nowadays, people use trigger warnings to describe when they are uncomfortable or upset with a particular situation.For an individual actually struggling with a traumatic event, let’s say PTSD, this significantly minimizes their experience.Here’s a comparison for example.Let’s say an individual is walking down the street and a stranger looks at them in a disgustful way. In today’s culture, that individual might say “ugh, the way that person looked at me triggered me.”Now, let’s say the same individual who is walking down the street has been clinically diagnosed with PTSD. Now, when the individual walks past the stranger, the stranger’s smell and appearance remind them of their traumatic experience.That’s how the term trigger warning has been watered down. There should be a clear cause and effect when using this term. Snowflake (aka the snowflake generation) is typically used to describe a person or a group of people who believe to have an “inflated sense of uniqueness, an unwarranted sense of entitlement, or are overly-emotional, easily offended, and unable to deal with opposing opinions.” (Wikipedia)This term was popularized during a confrontation that went viral between Yale students and faculty Head of College, Nicholas Christakis. Due to its origin, snowflakes and the snowflake generation typically represents “the young adults of the 2010s.”Safe space refers to places created for marginalized individuals, allowing them to safely and freely come together and talk about their experiences with marginalization. The first safe spaces were created for the gay and lesbian community, but it has grown since then. Nowadays, there are safe spaces for the LGBTQ+ community, minorities, women, religious groups, and more. These places are typically found on college campuses and in the workplace. This topic is very polarizing. Some view safe spaces as a necessity for certain communities, whereas others view safe spaces as a way for “individuals to retreat from thoughts and ideas at odds with their own.” What are your thoughts and beliefs on trigger warnings, snowflakes, and safe spaces? Let us know in the comment section below. While you’re at it, let us know what other topics we should discuss on the Psych Bytes podcast!

In this episode of the Psych Bytes podcast, we discuss trigger warnings, snowflakes, and safe spaces, specifically in the workplace or education system.Before we jump into the episode, let’s discuss some of these terms from a mental health perspective and our feelings/beliefs on these terms.<h2>Trigger Warnings, Snowflakes, and Safe Spaces</h2>From a mental health perspective, a trigger warning is a psychological stimulus that can very clearly be pointed to a thing (it can be a certain person, place, situation, circumstance, etc.) and how that thing “triggers” an individual’s identifiable trauma. Our problem with the term “trigger warning” is that this term and phrase has been watered down. This very important term was (and still is) used as a psychological “cause and effect” for trauma. Nowadays, people use trigger warnings to describe when they are uncomfortable or upset with a particular situation.For an individual actually struggling with a traumatic event, let’s say PTSD, this significantly minimizes their experience.Here’s a comparison for example.Let’s say an individual is walking down the street and a stranger looks at them in a disgustful way. In today’s culture, that individual might say “ugh, the way that person looked at me triggered me.”Now, let’s say the same individual who is walking down the street has been clinically diagnosed with PTSD. Now, when the individual walks past the stranger, the stranger’s smell and appearance remind them of their traumatic experience.That’s how the term trigger warning has been watered down. There should be a clear cause and effect when using this term. Snowflake (aka the snowflake generation) is typically used to describe a person or a group of people who believe to have an “inflated sense of uniqueness, an unwarranted sense of entitlement, or are overly-emotional, easily offended, and unable to deal with opposing opinions.” (<a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Snowflake_(slang)" rel="noreferrer noopener nofollow" target="_blank">Wikipedia</a>)This term was popularized during a confrontation that went viral between Yale students and faculty Head of College, Nicholas Christakis. Due to its origin, snowflakes and the snowflake generation typically represents “the young adults of the 2010s.”Safe space refers to places created for marginalized individuals, allowing them to safely and freely come together and talk about their experiences with marginalization. The first safe spaces were created for the gay and lesbian community, but it has grown since then. Nowadays, there are safe spaces for the LGBTQ+ community, minorities, women, religious groups, and more. These places are typically found on college campuses and in the workplace. This topic is very polarizing. Some view safe spaces as a necessity for certain communities, whereas others view safe spaces as a way for “individuals to retreat from thoughts and ideas at odds with their own.” What are your thoughts and beliefs on trigger warnings, snowflakes, and safe spaces? Let us know in the comment section below. While you’re at it, let us know what other topics we should discuss on the Psych Bytes podcast!

Trigger Warnings, Snowflakes, and Safe Spaces

Holiday Horror Stories: How to Survive The Holiday Season This time of year, it would be nice to have an episode focused on peace, love, and holiday cheer… But this is NOT that episode. For many people the holidays are not so merry, so we are leaning into that by sharing some grim stories from folks you might expect to be perfectly well-adjusted and strongly connected to family and friends. Yes, these horror stories are shared by mental health professionals!  Sure, we are trained to help people through challenging times, including the holidays, but we are humans too and we have baggage! In this episode of the Psych Bytes podcast, Dr. Craig Pohlman and Jennifer Fights, LPC, listen to three different holiday horror stories and share mental health tips to survive the holiday season!

<h2>Holiday Horror Stories: How to Survive The Holiday Season</h2> This time of year, it would be nice to have an episode focused on peace, love, and holiday cheer… But this is NOT that episode. For many people the holidays are not so merry, so we are leaning into that by sharing some grim stories from folks you might expect to be perfectly well-adjusted and strongly connected to family and friends. Yes, these horror stories are shared by mental health professionals! Sure, we are trained to help people through challenging times, including the holidays, but we are humans too and we have baggage! In this episode of the Psych Bytes podcast, Dr. Craig Pohlman and Jennifer Fights, LPC, listen to three different holiday horror stories and share mental health tips to survive the holiday season!

Holiday Horror Stories: How to Survive The Holiday Season

In this episode of the Psych Bytes podcast, Dr. Craig Pohlman and Jennifer Fights, LPC, talk about gaslighting, narcissism, and The Cluster of F**ks. Don’t forget to subscribe to the Psych Bytes podcast so you get notified whenever we drop a new episode!For more information on gaslighting, continue reading our article.What is Gaslighting?Gaslighting is defined as psychologically manipulative behavior used by someone attempting to undermine another person’s reality by denying facts, discounting the obvious, and invalidating the other person’s feelings. Gaslighters use tactics such as persistent denial, misdirection, and lying to destabilize their victims and delegitimize the victim’s beliefs. People often gaslight to stay in control of a situation or avoid truly dealing with the feelings of the other person or conflict they deem uncomfortable.Examples of GaslightingNow that you understand what gaslighting is, it’s time to become masterful at identifying it in real-world interactions. Psych Central has a phenomenal article on common gaslighting phrases. Some of these phrases include, but are not limited too… You’re crazy. You have issues. You’re being insecure. You’re too sensitive.  It was just a joke. Loosen up. You need to let it go. Why are you bringing this up? You’re the problem, not me. I never said/did that. You’re imagining things. You totally made that up. Gaslighting in RelationshipsA healthy relationship can be one of the most exciting and fulfilling aspects of our lives. Most adults desire an intimate relationship with a loving partner, but not all relationships are easy.That’s why it’s important to talk about gaslighting in relationships.In this podcast, we discuss the importance of recognizing gaslighting and what to do if your spouse or significant other is gaslighting you.Don’t forget to subscribe to the Psych Bytes podcast!

In this episode of the Psych Bytes podcast, Dr. Craig Pohlman and Jennifer Fights, LPC, talk about gaslighting, narcissism, and The Cluster of F**ks. Don’t forget to subscribe to the Psych Bytes podcast so you get notified whenever we drop a new episode!For more information on gaslighting, continue reading our article.<h2>What is Gaslighting?</h2>Gaslighting is defined as psychologically manipulative behavior used by someone attempting to undermine another person’s reality by denying facts, discounting the obvious, and invalidating the other person’s feelings. <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gaslighting" rel="noreferrer noopener nofollow" target="_blank">Gaslighters use tactics such as</a> persistent denial, misdirection, and lying to destabilize their victims and delegitimize the victim’s beliefs. People often gaslight to stay in control of a situation or avoid truly dealing with the feelings of the other person or conflict they deem uncomfortable.<h2>Examples of Gaslighting</h2>Now that you understand what gaslighting is, it’s time to become masterful at identifying it in real-world interactions. <a href="https://blogs.psychcentral.com/recovering-narcissist/2019/03/7-gaslighting-phrases-malignant-narcissists-sociopaths-and-psychopaths-use-translated/" rel="noreferrer noopener nofollow" target="_blank">Psych Central has a phenomenal article</a> on common gaslighting phrases. Some of these phrases include, but are not limited too…<ul> <li>You’re crazy. You have issues.</li> <li>You’re being insecure.</li> <li>You’re too sensitive. </li> <li>It was just a joke. Loosen up.</li> <li>You need to let it go.</li> <li>Why are you bringing this up?</li> <li>You’re the problem, not me.</li> <li>I never said/did that.</li> <li>You’re imagining things.</li> <li>You totally made that up.</li> </ul><h2>Gaslighting in Relationships</h2>A healthy relationship can be one of the most exciting and fulfilling aspects of our lives. Most adults desire an intimate relationship with a loving partner, but not all relationships are easy.That’s why it’s important to talk about <a href="https://www.psychbytes.com/gaslighting-in-romantic-relationships/" rel="noreferrer noopener nofollow" target="_blank">gaslighting in relationships.</a>In this podcast, we discuss the importance of recognizing gaslighting and what to do if your spouse or significant other is gaslighting you.<h3><a href="https://apple.co/2AGjQcq" rel="noreferrer noopener nofollow" target="_blank">Don’t forget to subscribe to the Psych Bytes podcast!</a></h3>

Gaslighting, Narcissism, and The Cluster of F**ks

The Psychology of Music Why does music resonate so much with the human brain? In this episode of the Psych Bytes podcast, Craig Pohlman, Ph.D., and Jennifer Fights, LPC, discuss the psychology of music.

<h2>The Psychology of Music</h2> Why does music resonate so much with the human brain? In this episode of the Psych Bytes podcast, Craig Pohlman, Ph.D., and Jennifer Fights, LPC, discuss the psychology of music.

How Music Tunes Your Brain: The Psychology of Music

In this episode of the Psych Bytes podcast, Myque Harris, LPC, and Tarik Sloussi, LPC, discuss the powerful benefits behind meditation. Myque also walks us through a guided meditation exercise that you can use daily to relax your mind, increase your focus, and live mindfully.

In this episode of the Psych Bytes podcast, Myque Harris, LPC, and Tarik Sloussi, LPC, discuss the powerful benefits behind meditation. Myque also walks us through a guided meditation exercise that you can use daily to relax your mind, increase your focus, and live mindfully.

Guided Meditation: Learn to Relax Your Mind, Increase Focus, and Live Mindfully

Loneliness affects up to 3 out of 5 adults in the United States. For children, one out of every 10 reports having no friends.  New research shows the health effects of loneliness are comparable to risk factors such as smoking cigarettes! Loneliness can seriously compromise physical health and quality of life – even leading to an earlier death. The U.K. recognized social isolation as such an issue, they appointed a Minister of Loneliness.  Given this clear crisis, The Rabbit Effect author Dr. Kelli Harding concludes, “The data seems crystal clear: It’s time to take socializing as seriously as exercise, diet, and sleep.” Aside from physical health, here are a few other ways loneliness impacts us… Social Media Americans appear to be lonelier than ever, with Gen Z experiencing the most loneliness all of the generations.  Despite more ways to connect with others, such as social media, social isolation is increasing. In fact, some research has found that decreasing social media use actually lessens feelings of loneliness!  Of course, it’s not so simple to say social media causes loneliness, and it may be a great alternative for people who have difficulty interacting in person. Mental Health Depression, anxiety-spectrum disorders, posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD), eating disorders, and schizophrenia can lead to social withdrawal.  Autism spectrum disorder, Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), and personality disorders can cause difficulty with social skills, which might result in loneliness. Substance Use/Addiction Some researchers have suggested that loneliness causes addiction (Example: the “Rat Park” studies). Now we know the relationship is not quite so simple: substance use may lead to social isolation, or stress from loneliness may increase substance use.  What is clear is that some relationship between loneliness and substance use exists.  Treatment studies show substance use treatments with a social component such as Alcoholics Anonymous, are as effective as structured psychotherapy.  Should we consider loneliness a disorder in its own right? How can we treat it, like we would a cold or an anxiety disorder? It seems the prescription for loneliness and its negative health effects is meaningful social interactions.  Meaningful being the key word because, as they say, you can feel lonely in a crowded room. Find people you enjoy being around. Find people who inspire you. Find people who make you belly laugh. It might have a huge effect on your physical and mental health. Many people are newly isolated due to COVID-19; however, others may have experienced physical isolation for some time due to their physical health or lack of mobility.  Once COVID-19 social distancing is over, those who are able may wish to increase their in-person social interactions. Either way, though, we can experience meaningful social exchanges!  Here are some ideas to combat loneliness in either situation: Ideas for Remote Social Interaction:  Call or video chat with a friend or family member. Bonus points if it’s someone you haven’t spoken with for a long time. Join in on a livestream: They have dance parties, concerts, and more. Send a card or letter to someone. People in nursing homes, hospitals, or on deployment would probably enjoy some mail! Join a virtual group: Maybe video gaming, a religious group, or a support group.  Ideas for In-Person Social Interaction:  Learn a new skill: Take a class at a gym, local community college, or the public library. Use a group meetup app to find friends with a shared hobby. Introduce yourself to your neighbors. Ask someone from work or school to have lunch or grab coffee with you. Go to a local event: A fair, arts show, concert, etc. Volunteer at a food pantry, animal shelter, or other local nonprofit.  Share your ideas in the comments!  Click here for more content by Cameron Mosley, Ph.D.!

Loneliness affects up to <a href="https://www.multivu.com/players/English/8294451-cigna-us-loneliness-survey/docs/IndexReport_1524069371598-173525450.pdf" rel="noreferrer noopener nofollow" target="_blank">3 out of 5 adults in the United States</a>. For children, one out of every 10 reports <a href="https://core.ac.uk/download/pdf/51086961.pdf" rel="noreferrer noopener nofollow" target="_blank">having no friends</a>. <a href="https://www.nap.edu/catalog/25663/social-isolation-and-loneliness-in-older-adults-opportunities-for-the" rel="noreferrer noopener nofollow" target="_blank">New research shows</a> the health effects of loneliness are comparable to risk factors such as smoking cigarettes! Loneliness can seriously compromise physical health and quality of life – even leading to an earlier death. The U.K. recognized social isolation as such an issue, they <a href="https://time.com/5248016/tracey-crouch-uk-loneliness-minister/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">appointed a Minister of Loneliness</a>. Given this clear crisis, The Rabbit Effect author Dr. Kelli Harding concludes, “The data seems crystal clear: It’s time to take socializing as seriously as exercise, diet, and sleep.” Aside from physical health, here are a few other ways loneliness impacts us… <h3>Social Media</h3> Americans appear to be <a href="https://www.multivu.com/players/English/8294451-cigna-us-loneliness-survey/docs/IndexReport_1524069371598-173525450.pdf" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">lonelier than ever</a>, with Gen Z experiencing the most loneliness all of the generations. Despite more ways to connect with others, such as social media, social isolation is increasing. In fact, some research has found that decreasing social media use actually <a href="https://guilfordjournals.com/doi/10.1521/jscp.2018.37.10.751" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">lessens feelings of loneliness</a>! Of course, it’s not so simple to say social media causes loneliness, and it may be a great alternative for people who have difficulty interacting in person. <h3>Mental Health</h3> Depression, anxiety-spectrum disorders, posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD), eating disorders, and schizophrenia can lead to social withdrawal. Autism spectrum disorder, Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), and personality disorders can cause difficulty with social skills, which might result in loneliness. <h3>Substance Use/Addiction</h3> Some researchers have suggested that loneliness causes addiction (Example: <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/add.14481" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">the “Rat Park” studies</a>). Now we know the relationship is not quite so simple: substance use may lead to <a href="https://www.medrxiv.org/content/10.1101/19006767v1" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">social isolation</a>, or stress from loneliness may <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/28157378" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">increase substance use</a>. What is clear is that some relationship between loneliness and substance use exists. Treatment studies show substance use treatments with a social component such as Alcoholics Anonymous, are as effective as structured psychotherapy.  Should we consider loneliness a disorder in its own right? How can we treat it, like we would a cold or an anxiety disorder? It seems the prescription for loneliness and its <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3150158/" rel="noreferrer noopener nofollow" target="_blank">negative health effects</a> is meaningful social interactions. Meaningful being the key word because, as they say, you can feel lonely in a crowded room. Find people you enjoy being around. Find people who inspire you. Find people who make you belly laugh. It might have a huge effect on your physical and mental health. Many people are newly isolated due to COVID-19; however, others may have experienced physical isolation for some time due to their physical health or lack of mobility. Once COVID-19 social distancing is over, those who are able may wish to increase their in-person social interactions. Either way, though, we can experience meaningful social exchanges! Here are some ideas to combat loneliness in either situation: <h2>Ideas for Remote Social Interaction:</h2> <ul> <li>Call or video chat with a friend or family member. Bonus points if it’s someone you haven’t spoken with for a long time.</li> <li>Join in on a livestream: They have dance parties, concerts, and more.</li> <li>Send a card or letter to someone. People in nursing homes, hospitals, or on deployment would probably enjoy some mail!</li> <li>Join a virtual group: Maybe video gaming, a religious group, or a support group.</li> </ul> <h2>Ideas for In-Person Social Interaction:</h2> <ul> <li>Learn a new skill: Take a class at a gym, local community college, or the public library.</li> <li>Use a group meetup app to find friends with a shared hobby.</li> <li>Introduce yourself to your neighbors.</li> <li>Ask someone from work or school to have lunch or grab coffee with you.</li> <li>Go to a local event: A fair, arts show, concert, etc.</li> <li>Volunteer at a food pantry, animal shelter, or other local nonprofit.</li> </ul> Share your ideas in the comments!  <a href="https://www.psychbytes.com/author/cmosley/" rel="noreferrer noopener nofollow" target="_blank">Click here for more content by Cameron Mosley, Ph.D.!</a>

Mental Health in Isolation: Should Loneliness Be Considered a Disorder?

“I can’t believe it is already mid-July.” “[Insert name of child] has gotten so big! How did that happen? When did that happen??” “Today flew by. I feel like I got nothing done. Why does life go so fast?” “I wrote down 2016 instead of 2017 on a document at work today.” “Was college really [amount of years since your graduation] ago?! I don’t believe it.” “Every time I get on Facebook there is a new engagement, wedding, or baby on my feed. When did my friends start growing up?” Is Your Life Moving Too Fast? Have you caught yourself saying or thinking some of these statements in the past 2 weeks? Well, don’t worry because you are not alone. The older I have become the faster I realized that each day and week will go by faster than the previous one. I was once told that there is a ratio for time, which is… This ratio is changing EVERY DAY! For example, when we are one year old, one year probably feels like exactly that- a full, long year. Do you remember watching a timer for 30 seconds as a child and it felt like an eternity? But as a 10-year-old, the ratio being 1/10, we start to realize it won’t be much longer until we will be 11 years old. A year feels closer. The ratio quickly starts to feel out of our control- with a blink of an eye we are 27, and then another blink and we will be 40. With each passing year, time seems to go by that much faster. Were you born around 1990? Then definitely don’t click on this Buzzfeed link.  It seems that 20 and 30-somethings are starting to realize that life is moving fast… life is moving WAY too fast… and are becoming more anxious as they feel less in control. Does this hit close to home? Do you believe life goes by too fast? If so, check out some helpful tips below.    1. Be Present in This Moment Right now, this very second is different from the last. Be curious to notice the slight changes between this moment and the previous one. Notice your breathing. Are you breathing into your chest or your stomach? Is there any part of your body that feels the tension that you can release? What is the furthest thing you can hear right now? Tapping into your mindful self can help make the time ratio feel less anxiety provoking by giving you a sense of control. I believe that the older we get we also have more things to worry about. Having a never-ending to-do list can wire our brains to be constantly thinking about the future and miss out what is happening right in front of us! Take advantage of this moment to pause and be present.  2. Intentionally Take the Time to Reflect and Process “How was your weekend? What did you do?” Have you ever struggled to answer these questions because you honestly don’t remember? When we are operating in a stressful time in our lives, our brains become more equipped to think about the future instead of the past or present.  Depending on the amount of stress, it can feel challenging to recall any memory. Reflecting and processing your day is a simple mental workout to strengthen your brain. Around bedtime, think through your day from waking up to you doing the reflective exercise in the present moment. For example; I woke up, took a shower, got dressed, drank a smoothie for breakfast, went to work, talked to Dave about a project…and so on. A research study by the University of Texas at Austin revealed that practicing a reflective exercise daily will help consolidate memory, boost your learning capability, and enhance your mental health. 3. Journal Daily Write down 3 things you accomplished and/or 3 things you are grateful for every day. These entries can be as simple as…  “Today I brought in coffee for a co-worker and it clearly made her day. I also have a college friend in town and it was great to catch up with her during lunch.” Having tangible pages with your thoughts written down can also boost the results from tip number two.  Journaling gives you the power to process today and review yesterday- stimulating your memory and learning capability. This exercise has another favorable outcome: an increase of well-being and overall mood. 4. Write Down Your Goals Think of 2-3 things you want to accomplish today, this week, this month, and this year. Write them down. Track them. This simple time management skill can prevent this dreaded thought or one similar from happening- “Wait, it is already 2017? I told myself I wanted to run a marathon by then. Oh well.” Which leads me to my next suggestion… Write down your plan to accomplish your goals and schedule in time to do it! Do you want to get a raise? Create a list of things you can do for your company between now and next year to make it happen! Ask my boss to lunch at least once a month, go to a conference, speak at a conference, write for a journal and get published, do at least 5 marketing presentations by January. You got this!  5. Prioritize Time with Friends and Family One of the hardest parts about being a 20/30-something is the pull between having a successful career and a personal life. When job demands start stacking up, that is when I find time moving quicker than I would want. It can become too easy to tell family members, “sorry, I can’t make it this weekend. I need to work on a project.” Next thing you know, it’s been over a month since you’ve seen your family. This can be a difficult transition for emerging adults. It wasn’t too long ago where all you had to do was go across the hall to see a sibling or go to school to see your friends. Intentionally scheduling in times to see supportive friends and family members is important for your well-being but also slowing time down. I don’t have a scientific article to link for this, but there is something about being around a child that makes time stand still. Ask someone to lunch you’ve been meaning to catch up with- don’t let the time pass anymore! So, What Are You Waiting For?! All in all, this is much easier said than done. If you feel ready to try these steps, know this will be a daily practice, not be a destination. However, the silver lining is when you notice you forgot to practice these steps (and you will), you are still practicing step number one!  The main goal of all of this is to simply notice the present moment without judging ourselves. It will be a constant detach–reattach. Detaching from thoughts about the future or the past, and reattaching to the present moment (while free of judgment!). Mindfulness has incredible health benefits—so I highly encourage you to start there. Once you are able to have a daily practice (and if you are curious how to start, look here) you might be amazed how time truly slows down and time to practice other self-care skills opens up.  Now drop your shoulders, soften your jaw muscles, take a deep breath into your belly, and know you can do this!  Click here to read more content by Laura Hamilton, M.Ed., NCC!

“I can’t believe it is already mid-July.” “[Insert name of child] has gotten so big! How did that happen? When did that happen??” “Today flew by. I feel like I got nothing done. Why does life go so fast?” “I wrote down 2016 instead of 2017 on a document at work today.” “Was college really [amount of years since your graduation] ago?! I don’t believe it.” “Every time I get on <a href="https://www.psychbytes.com/engagement-photos-facebook/" rel="noreferrer noopener nofollow" target="_blank">Facebook there is a new engagement</a>, wedding, or baby on my feed. When did my friends start growing up?” <h2>Is Your Life Moving Too Fast?</h2> Have you caught yourself saying or thinking some of these statements in the past 2 weeks? Well, don’t worry because you are not alone. The older I have become the faster I realized that each day and week will go by faster than the previous one. I was once told that there is a ratio for time, which is… This ratio is changing EVERY DAY! For example, when we are one year old, one year probably feels like exactly that- a full, long year. Do you remember watching a timer for 30 seconds as a child and it felt like an eternity? But as a 10-year-old, the ratio being 1/10, we start to realize it won’t be much longer until we will be 11 years old. A year feels closer. The ratio quickly starts to feel out of our control- with a blink of an eye we are 27, and then another blink and we will be 40. With each passing year, time seems to go by that much faster. Were you born around 1990? Then definitely <a href="https://www.buzzfeed.com/stephenlaconte/23-things-that-will-make-anyone-born-in-1990-feel-old-as?bffbvideo&amp;utm_term=.msB0pBq1Z#.pgbkpD5aQ" rel="noreferrer noopener nofollow" target="_blank">don’t click on this Buzzfeed link</a>. It seems that 20 and 30-somethings are starting to realize that life is moving fast… life is moving WAY too fast… and are becoming more anxious as they feel less in control. Does this hit close to home? Do you believe life goes by too fast? If so, check out some helpful tips below. <center> </center> <h2>1. Be Present in This Moment</h2> Right now, this very second is different from the last. Be curious to notice the slight changes between this moment and the previous one. Notice your breathing. Are you breathing into your chest or your stomach? Is there any part of your body that feels the tension that you can release? What is the furthest thing you can hear right now? Tapping into your <a href="https://www.psychbytes.com/wellbeing/" rel="noreferrer noopener nofollow" target="_blank">mindful self</a> can help make the time ratio feel less anxiety provoking by giving you a sense of control. I believe that the older we get we also have more things to worry about. Having a never-ending to-do list can wire our brains to be constantly thinking about the future and miss out what is happening right in front of us! Take advantage of this moment to <a href="https://www.psychbytes.com/mindfulness-teens/" rel="noreferrer noopener nofollow" target="_blank">pause and be present</a>. <center></center> <h2>2. Intentionally Take the Time to Reflect and Process</h2> “How was your weekend? What did you do?” Have you ever struggled to answer these questions because you honestly don’t remember? When we are operating in a stressful time in our lives, our brains become more equipped to think about the future instead of the past or present. Depending on the amount of stress, it can feel challenging to recall any memory. Reflecting and processing your day is a simple mental workout to strengthen your brain. Around bedtime, think through your day from waking up to you doing the reflective exercise in the present moment. For example; I woke up, took a shower, got dressed, drank a smoothie for breakfast, went to work, talked to Dave about a project…and so on. <a href="https://cns.utexas.edu/news/mental-rest-and-reflection-boost-learning-study-suggests" rel="noreferrer noopener nofollow" target="_blank">A research study by the University of Texas at Austin</a> revealed that practicing a reflective exercise daily will help consolidate memory, boost your learning capability, and enhance your mental health. <h2>3. Journal Daily</h2> Write down 3 things you accomplished and/or 3 things you are grateful for every day. These entries can be as simple as… “Today I brought in coffee for a co-worker and it clearly made her day. I also have a college friend in town and it was great to catch up with her during lunch.” Having tangible pages with your thoughts written down can also boost the results from tip number two. Journaling gives you the power to process today and review yesterday- stimulating your memory and learning capability. This exercise has another favorable outcome: an increase of well-being and overall mood. <h2>4. Write Down Your Goals</h2> Think of 2-3 things you want to accomplish today, this week, this month, and this year. <a href="https://www.psychbytes.com/feeling-stressed-write-down-thoughts-feelings/" rel="noreferrer noopener nofollow" target="_blank">Write them down. Track them.</a> This simple time management skill can prevent this dreaded thought or one similar from happening- “Wait, it is already 2017? I told myself I wanted to run a marathon by then. Oh well.” Which leads me to my next suggestion… Write down your plan to accomplish your goals and schedule in time to do it! Do you want to get a raise? Create a list of things you can do for your company between now and next year to make it happen! Ask my boss to lunch at least once a month, go to a conference, speak at a conference, write for a journal and get published, do at least 5 marketing presentations by January. You got this! <center></center> <h2>5. Prioritize Time with Friends and Family</h2> One of the hardest parts about being a 20/30-something is the pull between having a successful career and a personal life. When job demands start stacking up, that is when I find time moving quicker than I would want. It can become too easy to tell family members, “sorry, I can’t make it this weekend. I need to work on a project.” Next thing you know, it’s been over a month since you’ve seen your family. <a href="https://www.psychbytes.com/failure-launch-young-men-education/" rel="noreferrer noopener nofollow" target="_blank">This can be a difficult transition for emerging adults.</a> It wasn’t too long ago where all you had to do was go across the hall to see a sibling or go to school to see your friends. Intentionally scheduling in times to see supportive friends and family members is important for your well-being but also slowing time down. I don’t have a scientific article to link for this, but there is something about being around a child that makes time stand still. Ask someone to lunch you’ve been meaning to catch up with- don’t let the time pass anymore! <h2>So, What Are You Waiting For?!</h2> All in all, this is much easier said than done. If you feel ready to try these steps, know this will be a daily practice, not be a destination. However, the silver lining is when you notice you forgot to practice these steps (and you will), you are still practicing step number one! The main goal of all of this is to simply notice the present moment without judging ourselves. It will be a constant detach–reattach. Detaching from thoughts about the future or the past, and reattaching to the present moment (<a href="https://www.psychbytes.com/what-is-non-judgment/" rel="noreferrer noopener nofollow" target="_blank">while free of judgment!</a>). Mindfulness has incredible health benefits—so I highly encourage you to start there. Once you are able to have a daily practice (and if you are curious how to start, <a href="https://www.psychbytes.com/what-is-mindfulness-podcast/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">look here</a>) you might be amazed how time truly slows down and time to practice other self-care skills opens up.  Now drop your shoulders, soften your jaw muscles, take a deep breath into your belly, and know you can do this!  <h3><a href="https://www.psychbytes.com/author/laurahamilton/" rel="noreferrer noopener nofollow" target="_blank">Click here to read more content by Laura Hamilton, M.Ed., NCC!</a></h3>

Life Moving Too Fast? Here Are 5 Tips to Slow Down Time!

Virtual Happy Hours via Zoom, Google Hangouts, or any other online meetup space is too enticing for an extrovert to pass up. It’s everything you’ve been wanting after being cooped up in your home. Cooped up either all by yourself, with a partner who you love, but in recent weeks, have seen waaaaaaay too much of, or with children you’ve been “homeschooling”.  I emphasize the quotation marks in “homeschooling”…because some days, I just can’t. I mean, on my most busy work-from-home days, I still manage to become my child’s teacher, cafeteria chef, and physical education coach. After “work hours”, I’m back on duty with dinner, family time, and next day prep.  By the end of the day, I’m ready for a hardy spirit. If you’re anything like me: trying to find balance in this new normal or just trying to cope during these uncertain times, I know you’ve had a drink at home more than a couple of nights.  (Picture me tilting my head, pursing my lips, and giving you the side-eye.) But that can’t compare to throwing back a couple of cold ones with a group of friends. I mean, isn’t that why so many of us use to gather at the local brewery or hot spot after a hard week at work? Apparently, even when the majority of the world is stuck in their homes, many of us STILL have a bad case of FOMO (Fear of Missing Out). This extrovert included! So to keep the tradition alive, we’ve turned to virtual Happy Hours.  It totally makes sense! It’s the only way we can gather socially while still keeping physical distance. It’s a chance to smile at each other and laugh. It’s our chance to connect.  It’s an extrovert’s in isolation dream—or is it? As I reflect on all the Zoom meetings and telecalls I’ve had over the last 3 weeks, I’m not feeling as excited as I should about the upcoming Virtual Happy Hour. What if it’s just another video call, only with a drink in my hand? Maybe I will feel great and it will be a total blast. An extrovert’s dream fulfilled! But what if after the first 15 minutes, the novelty wears off?  No hugs, no gentle brush on my shoulder to say hi as someone passes by, no clinking glasses to say cheers…will this start to feel like my worst nightmare when I start to remember I’m still very alone in a room??? The truth is…I don’t know. No one knows.  But what I do know is that “What If-ing” our lives away during times like this doesn’t help. It only creates stress and anxiety about something that hasn’t happened yet. Stress and anxiety about something we can’t control. So, I take a few deep breaths, shift my thoughts to only focus on the positive, and decide to show up for the virtual party with bells on! Virtual Happy Hour may not be this extrovert’s definition of the “best party ever”, but it will be a time to see people I care about.  And during times like this… that’s what really matters.  Namaste. Click here for more content by Myque Harris, LPC!

Virtual Happy Hours via Zoom, Google Hangouts, or any other online meetup space is too enticing for an extrovert to pass up. It’s everything you’ve been wanting after being cooped up in your home. Cooped up either all by yourself, with a partner who you love, but in recent weeks, have seen waaaaaaay too much of, or with children you’ve been “homeschooling”. I emphasize the quotation marks in “homeschooling”…because some days, I just can’t. I mean, on my most busy work-from-home days, I still manage to become my child’s teacher, cafeteria chef, and physical education coach. After “work hours”, I’m back on duty with dinner, family time, and next day prep. By the end of the day, I’m ready for a hardy spirit. If you’re anything like me: trying to find balance in this new normal or just trying to cope during these uncertain times, I know you’ve had a drink at home more than a couple of nights. (Picture me tilting my head, pursing my lips, and giving you the side-eye.) But that can’t compare to throwing back a couple of cold ones with a group of friends. I mean, isn’t that why so many of us use to gather at the local brewery or hot spot after a hard week at work? Apparently, even when the majority of the world is stuck in their homes, many of us STILL have a bad case of FOMO (Fear of Missing Out). This extrovert included! So to keep the tradition alive, we’ve turned to virtual Happy Hours. It totally makes sense! It’s the only way we can gather socially while still keeping physical distance. It’s a chance to smile at each other and laugh. It’s our chance to connect. It’s an extrovert’s in isolation dream—or is it? As I reflect on all the Zoom meetings and telecalls I’ve had over the last 3 weeks, I’m not feeling as excited as I should about the upcoming Virtual Happy Hour. What if it’s just another video call, only with a drink in my hand? Maybe I will feel great and it will be a total blast. An extrovert’s dream fulfilled! But what if after the first 15 minutes, the novelty wears off? No hugs, no gentle brush on my shoulder to say hi as someone passes by, no clinking glasses to say cheers…will this start to feel like my worst nightmare when I start to remember I’m still very alone in a room??? The truth is…I don’t know. No one knows.  But what I do know is that “What If-ing” our lives away during times like this doesn’t help. It only creates stress and anxiety about something that hasn’t happened yet. Stress and anxiety about something we can’t control. So, I take a few deep breaths, shift my thoughts to only focus on the positive, and decide to show up for the virtual party with bells on! Virtual Happy Hour may not be this extrovert’s definition of the “best party ever”, but it will be a time to see people I care about. And during times like this… that’s what really matters.  Namaste. <a href="https://www.psychbytes.com/myque-harris/" rel="noreferrer noopener nofollow" target="_blank">Click here for more content by Myque Harris, LPC!</a>

Virtual Happy Hours: An Extrovert’s Happy Place or Worst Nightmare?

It’s the day after our county issued a “Stay at Home” mandate. I’m running along a greenway on a warm March morning when I hear an alarm and a pre-recorded voice blaring near the playground at Freedom Park.  The voice is instructing people to leave the playground as it has basically been deemed unsafe by health and safety, in light of the pandemic. How apocalyptic: not dangerous because of faulty, recalled, or broken equipment but because the virus can survive for up to 72 hours on hard shiny surfaces (which you would think would be the antithesis for sustaining life; although viruses are debatably living organisms…). At the tennis courts, I turn around and run back, this time closer to the playground, to catch a glimpse of what is really going on here.  The siren and announcement are no longer sounding, but there are police vehicles in the parking lot, and the monkey bars, slides, and swings — which most mornings would be swarming with young healthy bodies — are completely empty. Although I am thankful for many things—for such nice weather during quarantine, for people taking measures seriously, for blue skies and warm breeze backdropping the empty play area—I can’t help but notice that this, with the alarm echoing in my mind, makes for an eerie and dystopian scene. Two people whom I know well, know people who have died.  A flu-like feeling sets in for a few days: low energy and feverish. They seemed to pop back for a day and tried to regain some normalcy, thinking it had passed. Then a terrible upper respiratory infection sets in.  A relatively short time later, they are no longer of this world. Both were young, with no obvious pre-existing conditions. Others walk around asymptomatic, unknowing carriers of a virus that could either do nothing at all or kill you. Worrisome to say the least. Devastating at worst. As a therapist, I’ve heard some clients acknowledge the pandemic as “inconvenient.” I’ve also heard things such as “It’s hard to know what stance to take,” and “I’m scared of how long this will last.”  Food is necessary, and I go to the grocery store one afternoon.  Tape is on the floors, measuring six feet apart. Is 6 feet really guaranteed to keep me safe? People are wearing gloves and masks, looking at each other out of the corners of their eyes as they pass each other. These looks seem suspicious to indicate, “Sorry if I’m walking around you like you might contaminate me.” The shelves are randomly bare— no beans, no paper products, no fresh meat, no ginger.  I metaphorically scratch my head in solidarity with all of us who are wondering why toilet paper? I am not sure whether I am more concerned about human behavior in reaction to the pandemic than the pandemic itself. Am I an idiot for even being here? Will this be the new normal? I quickly grab a few things on my list, but the oddness of it all makes me more eager to leave than think about the fact that I will just have to return later if I don’t take the time to make sure we have what we need for the week.  As human beings, we all can feel anxious—but we need uncertainty.  We try to build routines and develop relationships as a means of coping—but also thriving. Frequently, people who struggle with mood also struggle with maintaining routine and developing relationships. When an outside force further exacerbates this, we all struggle immensely.  This pandemic offers so much unknown and possible calamity for a potentially very long time, that even the least anxious of us might feel a heaviness in our chests when we contemplate it or try to take in the latest research and news. We need uncertainty, but this sometimes feels like too much. We set out to try to control what we can: 6 feet apart, soap and water, hand sanitizer, don’t touch your face. Suddenly everyone is a “germaphobe” and the OG’s, “original germaphobes”, don’t look so paranoid.  Will this just keep happening? Will social distancing be a way of life?  Are we going to regard all fellow humans with paranoia and fear of getting too close— they might be a carrier? Will we all begin wearing some form of hijab to cover our vulnerable porous bodies? What happens to playgrounds, mass transit, potlucks, swimming pools, schools and offices? Will this force us into even more of a reliance on technology and social media than we already find ourselves? What will be the consequences and side effects of that? Maybe, hopefully likely, there will be a vaccine. Maybe the summer heat will scorch it and it will mutate into nothingness in the coming months, never to be heard from again.  A client said they had heard the pandemic was “God’s way of telling us to go to our rooms and think about what we have done.”  This made me smile on the subject; a welcome change. So what do we learn from this? How do we live life differently in the aftermath? We need pathogens to build immunity, so life in a sanitized bubble will do us no favors.  I think this emphasizes the interconnectedness of us all. We affect each other profoundly and undeniably. We all rely on the actions and consideration of others when we are in a crisis. What hurts me can hurt you, and we can’t turn a blind eye to that or try to intellectually distance ourselves from someone else’s—“the others”—problems.  We are all vulnerable and we are all susceptible. We are all human and we all count on each other in profound ways. Our lack of willingness to give attention to things until they are literally killing us is primitive, naive, and will be our downfall. Could this be a check to our human hubris and the fact that we are only as strong as our weakest link? No one will be protected by their “importance” or faith when a true reckoning comes. To take the “go to your room” analogy further: I think this has also potentially provided a time for people to slow down and be reflective. To find other ways to channel energy: into your inner circle, into your community, into the world. Not through touch or physical intimacy, but through reflection and contemplation. Learn to enjoy the company you keep, without distraction. It has been said that this is like a form of grief for many people who are struggling. Grieving the loss of safety, freedom, security, livelihood. Grieving for the millions who will die, for the uncertainty and the potential ripple effect it will create. But grief can spawn hope and a certain acceptance that maybe there is a need for change… Are we really listening to the rhythms of our world? It may be an exhausted trope, but it bears repeating: lookout for those who have less than you— you never know when that could be you. Be conscientious of the earth and its limited resources. Pay attention to what is in front of you, to that human who needs you. Take care of yourself: do what cleanses you inside and out, the two are interrelated. Casting blame and shunning others when we are all in this together only slows down healing and recovery. Separate. Distance. Do it with hope and good conscience.  We are a social species and we are tribal and communal by nature. We will find our way back to each other. In these quiet and scary times it is only useful to focus on tuning in and taking care of the little world we have around us: cultivate it, embrace it, notice it. See this as a time to build up your positive reserves. Life will go on, and whether a new normal or the old one, the economy will certainly require our participation again. Do the things you’ve been meaning to or consider doing things just for the sake of making you happy for this time. A client mentioned they might build a stage to host a “ceremony” for a graduating senior who has had their graduation canceled. Build your own stage. March upon it and think about what you want to be known for. Who are you, really? When the rubber hits the road? Reflect on how much time you spend distracting yourself or keeping up with the Jones’ or running the rat race. This is a pause.  Consume less, travel less, pay attention to what is right in front of you and see the beauty in its simplicity and its oh-so-lovely inconsistent consistency. Write, sing, dance, clean, meditate, stretch, move, reflect, rest, cook, exercise, listen, smell, taste, touch, see…feel the absence of everything before. Be grateful for it or realize it wasn’t as important as you thought.  Gain distance: gain perspective. Distance doesn’t mean isolation. If we all do what we can as quickly as we can and for as long as we can, we will come out of this together. Please stay healthy and well through this uncertain time.  Click here for more content by Rachel Kitson, Ph.D.!

It’s the day after our county issued a “Stay at Home” mandate. I’m running along a greenway on a warm March morning when I hear an alarm and a pre-recorded voice blaring near the playground at Freedom Park. The voice is instructing people to leave the playground as it has basically been deemed unsafe by health and safety, in light of the pandemic. How apocalyptic: not dangerous because of faulty, recalled, or broken equipment but because the virus can survive for up to 72 hours on hard shiny surfaces (which you would think would be the antithesis for sustaining life; although viruses are debatably living organisms…). At the tennis courts, I turn around and run back, this time closer to the playground, to catch a glimpse of what is really going on here. The siren and announcement are no longer sounding, but there are police vehicles in the parking lot, and the monkey bars, slides, and swings — which most mornings would be swarming with young healthy bodies — are completely empty. Although I am thankful for many things—for such nice weather during quarantine, for people taking measures seriously, for blue skies and warm breeze backdropping the empty play area—I can’t help but notice that this, with the alarm echoing in my mind, makes for an eerie and dystopian scene. <h3>Two people whom I know well, know people who have died. </h3> A flu-like feeling sets in for a few days: low energy and feverish. They seemed to pop back for a day and tried to regain some normalcy, thinking it had passed. Then a terrible upper respiratory infection sets in. A relatively short time later, they are no longer of this world. Both were young, with no obvious pre-existing conditions. Others walk around asymptomatic, unknowing carriers of a virus that could either do nothing at all or kill you. Worrisome to say the least. Devastating at worst. As a therapist, I’ve heard some clients acknowledge the pandemic as “inconvenient.” I’ve also heard things such as “It’s hard to know what stance to take,” and “I’m scared of how long this will last.” <h3>Food is necessary, and I go to the grocery store one afternoon. </h3> Tape is on the floors, measuring six feet apart. Is 6 feet really guaranteed to keep me safe? People are wearing gloves and masks, looking at each other out of the corners of their eyes as they pass each other. These looks seem suspicious to indicate, “Sorry if I’m walking around you like you might contaminate me.” The shelves are randomly bare— no beans, no paper products, no fresh meat, no ginger. I metaphorically scratch my head in solidarity with all of us who are wondering why toilet paper? I am not sure whether I am more concerned about human behavior in reaction to the pandemic than the pandemic itself. Am I an idiot for even being here? Will this be the new normal? I quickly grab a few things on my list, but the oddness of it all makes me more eager to leave than think about the fact that I will just have to return later if I don’t take the time to make sure we have what we need for the week.  <h3>As human beings, we all can feel anxious—but we need uncertainty. </h3> We try to build routines and develop relationships as a means of coping—but also thriving. Frequently, people who struggle with mood also struggle with maintaining routine and developing relationships. When an outside force further exacerbates this, we all struggle immensely. This pandemic offers so much unknown and possible calamity for a potentially very long time, that even the least anxious of us might feel a heaviness in our chests when we contemplate it or try to take in the latest research and news. We need uncertainty, but this sometimes feels like too much. We set out to try to control what we can: 6 feet apart, soap and water, hand sanitizer, don’t touch your face. Suddenly everyone is a “germaphobe” and the OG’s, “original germaphobes”, don’t look so paranoid.  Will this just keep happening? Will social distancing be a way of life? Are we going to regard all fellow humans with paranoia and fear of getting too close— they might be a carrier? Will we all begin wearing some form of hijab to cover our vulnerable porous bodies? What happens to playgrounds, mass transit, potlucks, swimming pools, schools and offices? Will this force us into even more of a reliance on technology and social media than we already find ourselves? What will be the consequences and side effects of that? Maybe, hopefully likely, there will be a vaccine. Maybe the summer heat will scorch it and it will mutate into nothingness in the coming months, never to be heard from again.  A client said they had heard the pandemic was “God’s way of telling us to go to our rooms and think about what we have done.” This made me smile on the subject; a welcome change. <h3>So what do we learn from this? How do we live life differently in the aftermath?</h3> We need pathogens to build immunity, so life in a sanitized bubble will do us no favors. I think this emphasizes the interconnectedness of us all. We affect each other profoundly and undeniably. We all rely on the actions and consideration of others when we are in a crisis. What hurts me can hurt you, and we can’t turn a blind eye to that or try to intellectually distance ourselves from someone else’s—“the others”—problems. We are all vulnerable and we are all susceptible. We are all human and we all count on each other in profound ways. Our lack of willingness to give attention to things until they are literally killing us is primitive, naive, and will be our downfall. Could this be a check to our human hubris and the fact that we are only as strong as our weakest link? No one will be protected by their “importance” or faith when a true reckoning comes. To take the “go to your room” analogy further: I think this has also potentially provided a time for people to slow down and be reflective. To find other ways to channel energy: into your inner circle, into your community, into the world. Not through touch or physical intimacy, but through reflection and contemplation. Learn to enjoy the company you keep, without distraction. It has been said that this is like a form of grief for many people who are struggling. Grieving the loss of safety, freedom, security, livelihood. Grieving for the millions who will die, for the uncertainty and the potential ripple effect it will create. But grief can spawn hope and a certain acceptance that maybe there is a need for change… Are we really listening to the rhythms of our world? It may be an exhausted trope, but it bears repeating: lookout for those who have less than you— you never know when that could be you. Be conscientious of the earth and its limited resources. Pay attention to what is in front of you, to that human who needs you. Take care of yourself: do what cleanses you inside and out, the two are interrelated. Casting blame and shunning others when we are all in this together only slows down healing and recovery. Separate. Distance. Do it with hope and good conscience. We are a social species and we are tribal and communal by nature. We will find our way back to each other. In these quiet and scary times it is only useful to focus on tuning in and taking care of the little world we have around us: cultivate it, embrace it, notice it. See this as a time to build up your positive reserves. Life will go on, and whether a new normal or the old one, the economy will certainly require our participation again. Do the things you’ve been meaning to or consider doing things just for the sake of making you happy for this time. A client mentioned they might build a stage to host a “ceremony” for a graduating senior who has had their graduation canceled. Build your own stage. March upon it and think about what you want to be known for. Who are you, really? When the rubber hits the road? Reflect on how much time you spend distracting yourself or keeping up with the Jones’ or running the rat race. This is a pause.  Consume less, travel less, pay attention to what is right in front of you and see the beauty in its simplicity and its oh-so-lovely inconsistent consistency. Write, sing, dance, clean, meditate, stretch, move, reflect, rest, cook, exercise, listen, smell, taste, touch, see…feel the absence of everything before. Be grateful for it or realize it wasn’t as important as you thought. Gain distance: gain perspective. Distance doesn’t mean isolation. If we all do what we can as quickly as we can and for as long as we can, we will come out of this together. Please stay healthy and well through this uncertain time. <a href="https://www.psychbytes.com/author/rkitson/" rel="noreferrer noopener nofollow" target="_blank">Click here for more content by Rachel Kitson, Ph.D.!</a>

Is This a New Normal? A Mental Health Professionals’ Perspective on Living Through a Pandemic

I got a lot of good information from this podcast and I was entertained at the same time.

Great content, cool format!

I love the Psych Bytes podcast. Craig Pohlman and Jennifer Fights make an excellent podcasting duo!

Love It!

Psych Bytes Podcast

The best episodes for anyone looking to learn more about topics such as happiness, fulfillment, depression and psychology/mental health in general. With interviews with industry experts, personal stories of individuals, this topic has lessons applicable to everyone. Add episodes you're interested into your queue below!

Best Episodes on Mental Health, Emotions & Thoughts

The best podcast episodes on non-current politics. Covering topics such as universal basic income, democracy, poverty & justice and more. For anyone interested in learning more about politics that affect that world, not just now, but in the longer term. Add episodes you're interested into your queue below!