For ch. 37–38, we, ahem, define crimes against humanity. We also talk about Sammael's Cube Con 2000, EnlightenmentGate, how Needing Therapy Doesn't Make Up for the Atrocities, and Rand's Legal Abyss.

For ch. 37–38, we, ahem, define crimes against humanity. We also talk about Sammael's Cube Con 2000, EnlightenmentGate, how Needing Therapy Doesn't Make Up for the Atrocities, and Rand's Legal Abyss.

Episode 253: The Dragon Reborn's Court Jester

Will Poulter

For ch. 35–36, we talk about (really): Appropriate Wonka Sociopathy, Gender Reveal Magic, how Icarus Got Stabbed by Padan Fain, Bad Dramatic Irony, and Losing Trickster Points.   Transcript

For ch. 35–36, we talk about (really): Appropriate Wonka Sociopathy, Gender Reveal Magic, how Icarus Got Stabbed by Padan Fain, Bad Dramatic Irony, and Losing Trickster Points.  <a href="https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5bf4b371f7939280b5c4696e/t/64c3e624b566ce16b7dc3e36/1690560036547/Episode+252+Transcript.pdf" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> Transcript</a>

Episode 252: Will Poulter

Really, you won't. For ch. 32–34, we talk about Improving Nynaeve, Making Excuses for Rand, Consequence-Free Tyranny, Redemption Arcs, and Star Wars Spoilers.  Transcript

Really, you won't. For ch. 32–34, we talk about Improving Nynaeve, Making Excuses for Rand, Consequence-Free Tyranny, Redemption Arcs, and Star Wars Spoilers. <a href="https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5bf4b371f7939280b5c4696e/t/64badb8b4d8574376506a020/1689967499237/Episode+251.pdf" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> Transcript</a>

Episode 251: You'll Never Guess What Was at the Mattress Supply Store

You shouldn't trust the ho's in ch. 29–30, which is ... every woman. We talk about Our Bestie, Colonialism; Rand's Dead Fish Eyes; Titty Redistribution; Not-Chili's; and the Nuclear Fanny Pack, and we Send in the Clowns.  Transcript

You shouldn't trust the ho's in ch. 29–30, which is ... every woman. We talk about Our Bestie, Colonialism; Rand's Dead Fish Eyes; Titty Redistribution; Not-Chili's; and the Nuclear Fanny Pack, and we Send in the Clowns. <a href="https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5bf4b371f7939280b5c4696e/t/64a84c47b0d8e514da6d340d/1688751176066/Episode+250+Transcript.pdf" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> Transcript</a>

Episode 250: Comrade Titties

Okay, okay, it's actually ch. 27–28 of the Gathering Storm. We talk about Busty Beauties, the Romantic Poets, Repeat Plots, Wescuing Women, and the various Flavors of Misogynist Humor.  Transcript

Okay, okay, it's actually ch. 27–28 of the Gathering Storm. We talk about Busty Beauties, the Romantic Poets, Repeat Plots, Wescuing Women, and the various Flavors of Misogynist Humor. <a href="https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5bf4b371f7939280b5c4696e/t/649e38541beffb092af93270/1688090708492/Episode+249+Transcript.pdf" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> Transcript</a>

Episode 249: On This Episode of Supernatural ...

In ch. 24–26, Gawyn is here to teach these betas a lesson about MANHOOD. Too bad Gareth Bryne won't spank him. We also talk about the Shape of Bubbles, Vegan Aes Sedai, and Chivalric Knights, and ask: Where Is All the Multicultural Curiosity?  Transcript

In ch. 24–26, Gawyn is here to teach these betas a lesson about MANHOOD. Too bad Gareth Bryne won't spank him. We also talk about the Shape of Bubbles, Vegan Aes Sedai, and Chivalric Knights, and ask: Where Is All the Multicultural Curiosity? <a href="https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5bf4b371f7939280b5c4696e/t/6494950b4b1ec31d7b11c862/1687459083638/Episode+248+Transcript.pdf" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> Transcript</a>

Episode 248: Alpha-Core Gawyn

Ch. 22–23 are all about Rand's feelings, because men's feelings are WAY more important than women's. We talk about how He Needs to Be Harder, Daddy; Egregious Deus Ex Machina, the Scientific Method, and give a Shoutout to Martha.   Transcript

Ch. 22–23 are all about Rand's feelings, because men's feelings are WAY more important than women's. We talk about how He Needs to Be Harder, Daddy; Egregious Deus Ex Machina, the Scientific Method, and give a Shoutout to Martha.  <a href="https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5bf4b371f7939280b5c4696e/t/648bb7a32260183ea073ef50/1686878115907/Episode+247+Transcript+.pdf" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> Transcript</a>

Episode 247: The Hardboy Scale

Well, well, if it isn't the infamous "women are like goats" speech. For ch. 20–21, we'll talk about goat pride; the difference between tricksters, fools, and comic relief; and the world's weirdest to-do list.  Transcript

Well, well, if it isn't the infamous "women are like goats" speech. For ch. 20–21, we'll talk about goat pride; the difference between tricksters, fools, and comic relief; and the world's weirdest to-do list. <a href="https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5bf4b371f7939280b5c4696e/t/64836a73fd11774a241088a3/1686334068033/Episode+246+Transcript.pdf" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> Transcript</a>

Episode 246: Goat Girl Summer

For ch. 17–19, we talk about the Plot Twist of the Century, how Siuan Is an Army Wife, the Cult Besties, Gambit from X-Men's Appearance, Court Jester Mat, and the Pariah Parade.  Transcript

For ch. 17–19, we talk about the Plot Twist of the Century, how Siuan Is an Army Wife, the Cult Besties, Gambit from X-Men's Appearance, Court Jester Mat, and the Pariah Parade. <a href="https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5bf4b371f7939280b5c4696e/t/647a2fdb36dfa94feb10756b/1685729243236/Episode+245+Transcript.pdf" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> Transcript</a>

Episode 245: Lying Greg

There's an unbelievable amount of stupidity in ch. 15–16, and it's not just us mispronouncing Moridin's real name. We also talk about Balefire Life Hacks, Katerine's Evil Laugh, and Laras's Underground Railroad.  Transcript

There's an unbelievable amount of stupidity in ch. 15–16, and it's not just us mispronouncing Moridin's real name. We also talk about Balefire Life Hacks, Katerine's Evil Laugh, and Laras's Underground Railroad. <a href="https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5bf4b371f7939280b5c4696e/t/645d18d3a9ae9a63276d7997/1683822803976/Episode+244+Transcript.pdf" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> Transcript</a>

Episode 244: Elon or Ellen

Just two hyper-critical English majors talking some pretty big game about The Wheel of Time. Co-hosts Emily and Sally gather around their kitchen table each week to serve you up a full fantasy feast of oft-misremembered summary, hot analysis, scraps of literary theory, and a whole lot of hating Rand.

Great to listen to two intelligent, funny and interesting women discuss my favorite fantasy series. While I can’t say I agree entirely with the title of the show, I for sure see their point of view, I am starting to think he is kind of a d-bag ;) Keep up the great work! Love the show

Funny and insightful

A great podcast. Contains a good bit of literary analysis, while still remaining mostly comedic.

A perfect blend

Everybody Hates Rand: A Wheel of Time Podcast

In which we struggle to pronounce Barthanes' name, long for the Betsy Ross/Ross Betsy timeline that never was, and make way too many comparisons to Supernatural.   Transcript

In which we struggle to pronounce Barthanes' name, long for the Betsy Ross/Ross Betsy timeline that never was, and make way too many comparisons to Supernatural.  <a href="https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5bf4b371f7939280b5c4696e/t/5e77fbd27531ce4dfe5a7bd3/1584921554953/Episode+43_+Deus+Ex+Ingtar.pdf" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> Transcript</a>

Episode 43: Deus Ex Ingtar

It's not the pandemic that's got us down; it's all the misogyny in chapters 4 &amp; 5. We cope with Ogier Minecraft Vision, the Sex Tent, Perma-Gai'shain, Baylee Domon, and the harsh reality that Robert Jordan just didn't know about sports bras.   Transcript

It's not the pandemic that's got us down; it's all the misogyny in chapters 4 &amp; 5. We cope with Ogier Minecraft Vision, the Sex Tent, Perma-Gai'shain, Baylee Domon, and the harsh reality that Robert Jordan just didn't know about sports bras.  <a href="https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5bf4b371f7939280b5c4696e/t/5f5e92a5caafb27f44ebb0be/1600033446845/Episode+108.pdf" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> Transcript</a>

Episode 108: Pain Box

It may feel like the world is screeching to a halt, but EHR is still recording! For chapters 2 and 3, we talk about Team Chuck Tingle, Sweaty Chic, The Peak of A-Hole, and Mat's Juicy Couture Shorts. Wash your hands and stay horny for Mat, everyone!    Transcript

It may feel like the world is screeching to a halt, but EHR is still recording! For chapters 2 and 3, we talk about Team Chuck Tingle, Sweaty Chic, The Peak of A-Hole, and Mat's Juicy Couture Shorts. Wash your hands and stay horny for Mat, everyone!   <a href="https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5bf4b371f7939280b5c4696e/t/5f5e92942c6d5c03ffb6a81c/1600033429427/Episode+107.pdf" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> Transcript</a>

Episode 107: Elite Forsaken Kill Squad

As we prep for The Shadow Rising, you asked for advice and we ... have it? We tell to Dominate the World with Alexander the Great's Methods, Wear a Plague Doctor Mask to Work, Get Yourself a Shark Wife, and Gaslight Your Coworkers.  Transcript

As we prep for The Shadow Rising, you asked for advice and we ... have it? We tell to Dominate the World with Alexander the Great's Methods, Wear a Plague Doctor Mask to Work, Get Yourself a Shark Wife, and Gaslight Your Coworkers. <a href="https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5bf4b371f7939280b5c4696e/t/5f1e09df67aaae35bbdd3789/1595804128382/EHR+Extra+-+Teen+Narc+transcript+.pdf" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> Transcript</a>

EHR Extra: Teen Narc

Sorry for the long episode, but we just couldn't help talking about the sex and power dynamics of the Warder bond for 25 minutes. We also complained about the Heterosexual Lack of Chemistry Default and took a long look at all the fear archetypes in Nynaeve's Magic Hazing Ritual.     Transcript

Sorry for the long episode, but we just couldn't help talking about the sex and power dynamics of the Warder bond for 25 minutes. We also complained about the Heterosexual Lack of Chemistry Default and took a long look at all the fear archetypes in Nynaeve's Magic Hazing Ritual.    <a href="https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5bf4b371f7939280b5c4696e/t/5e8a807705fde74b6f7087b7/1586135162110/Episode+39_+Double-Sided+Sword.pdf" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> Transcript</a>

Episode 39: Double-Sided Sword

Discussion topics this week include My Mind Fire: The Band, Fantasy Hair Cuts, Knife Boy and Lava Girl, The REAL Kingkiller, and Chumbawamba-phobia.  Transcript 

Discussion topics this week include My Mind Fire: The Band, Fantasy Hair Cuts, Knife Boy and Lava Girl, The REAL Kingkiller, and Chumbawamba-phobia. <a href="https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5bf4b371f7939280b5c4696e/t/5e77fb8de8ff44374c2a68f8/1584921486112/Episode+44_+BAR-thanes.pdf" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> Transcript </a>

Episode 44: BAR-thanes

In another trio of Perrin chapters (43-45), we pull ourselves together long enough to talk about Ladder-Looking Lads, Egg Mom, Himbo Solidarity, Big Bard Energy, and Horse Therapy. We also cast One Direction for, what, the ninth time?  Transcript

In another trio of Perrin chapters (43-45), we pull ourselves together long enough to talk about Ladder-Looking Lads, Egg Mom, Himbo Solidarity, Big Bard Energy, and Horse Therapy. We also cast One Direction for, what, the ninth time? <a href="https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5bf4b371f7939280b5c4696e/t/5f790ad210373d562dce43ee/1601768147078/Episode+97+Transcript+.pdf" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> Transcript</a>

Episode 97: Loial's Lethal Eyebrows

After a lengthy discussion about "Hatchet" by Gary Paulsen and how it traumatized us, we talk about our heroes' road trip to Baerlon, English long bows, and the importance of taking regular baths. We also realize that Randland is monoreligious, and almost have an aneurysm.  Transcript

After a lengthy discussion about "Hatchet" by Gary Paulsen and how it traumatized us, we talk about our heroes' road trip to Baerlon, English long bows, and the importance of taking regular baths. We also realize that Randland is monoreligious, and almost have an aneurysm. <a href="https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5bf4b371f7939280b5c4696e/t/5c0d9a282b6a28f9e790c75c/1544395306511/EHR+Episode+3+Transcript+.pdf" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> Transcript</a>

Episode 3: Don't Do It In the Murky Pond Water

This episode was over an hour long until Emily edited out twenty minutes of us arguing over which characters Galad could have sexual tension with. That's pretty much all you need to know.    Transcript 

This episode was over an hour long until Emily edited out twenty minutes of us arguing over which characters Galad could have sexual tension with. That's pretty much all you need to know.   <a href="https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5bf4b371f7939280b5c4696e/t/5e8a805d7de63058bf50ba21/1586135134630/Episode+40_+Very+Tight+Trope+Breeches.pdf" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> Transcript </a>

Episode 40: Very Tight Trope Breeches

In this episode, which does technically cover the content of chapters 40-42, the unstoppable force of "Cats" met the immovable object of our hatred of Perrin. So while we barely talked about Wheel of Time, we do feel better, and that's what matters. Happy New Year. 

In this episode, which does technically cover the content of chapters 40-42, the unstoppable force of "Cats" met the immovable object of our hatred of Perrin. So while we barely talked about Wheel of Time, we do feel better, and that's what matters. Happy New Year.

Episode 96: Purr-gatory

We spent the last ten minutes of this episode Googling that whole Luc/Isam thing that Robert Jordan never really explained. Other discussion topics this week include Galad Appreciation, Thom IS The Entree, and Sally Puts Emily On Blast.  Transcript

We spent the last ten minutes of this episode Googling that whole Luc/Isam thing that Robert Jordan never really explained. Other discussion topics this week include Galad Appreciation, Thom IS The Entree, and Sally Puts Emily On Blast. <a href="https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5bf4b371f7939280b5c4696e/t/5c0dcf0788251bdf0c3392f1/1544408839850/EHR+Episode+19+Transcript+.pdf" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> Transcript</a>

Episode 19: Where Did the Water Go?

We're joined by professional costumer and Yu-Gi-Oh! enthusiast Sarah McClintock to talk about clothes, fantasy, and denim on denim. She helps answer questions like: Why is Robert Jordan obsessed with butts and breeches? Why is the boob situation in Tel'aran'rhiod so important? What happens when you dress a farm boy like a fancy lord and give him responsibility?  Transcript

We're joined by professional costumer and Yu-Gi-Oh! enthusiast Sarah McClintock to talk about clothes, fantasy, and denim on denim. She helps answer questions like: Why is Robert Jordan obsessed with butts and breeches? Why is the boob situation in Tel'aran'rhiod so important? What happens when you dress a farm boy like a fancy lord and give him responsibility? <a href="https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5bf4b371f7939280b5c4696e/t/5e9cd5120feebf4d485e733e/1587336468883/EHR+Episode+29+Transcript+.pdf" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> Transcript</a>

Episode 29: Jerkins DON'T Have Sleeves!

In this episode, we discuss chapters 21 and 22. Sort of. Mostly, we ask a lot of questions, like: What does vibe check mean? Would Teen Narc make a good graphic novel? What does the "z" in "zaddy" stand for? And, hey, Sally? What's Boy Design?   Transcript

In this episode, we discuss chapters 21 and 22. Sort of. Mostly, we ask a lot of questions, like: What does vibe check mean? Would Teen Narc make a good graphic novel? What does the "z" in "zaddy" stand for? And, hey, Sally? What's Boy Design?  <a href="https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5bf4b371f7939280b5c4696e/t/5f04a5d5ecd934413fc7e6d5/1594140118068/Episode+87_+That%E2%80%99s+WHY+He%E2%80%99s+the+Dragon.pdf" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> Transcript</a>

Episode 87: That's WHY He's the Dragon

There's a lot of chaotic sexual energy in this episode, and for that at least one of us apologizes. We talk about the Sex Shirt, Daenerys and her Animal Sidekick, and that one unfortunate instance where Gawyn Was Right.  Transcript 

There's a lot of chaotic sexual energy in this episode, and for that at least one of us apologizes. We talk about the Sex Shirt, Daenerys and her Animal Sidekick, and that one unfortunate instance where Gawyn Was Right. <a href="https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5bf4b371f7939280b5c4696e/t/5e96333da3a65e6b72ab4d54/1586901823057/Episode+37_+Moon+Blood.pdf" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> Transcript </a>

Episode 37: Moon Blood

In Episode 4 we talk about our country bumpkins' first time in a city -- well, a "city." There's a lot to learn in Baerlon, about inns, innkeepers, conquering dream logic, and ~The Future.~ Plus, everyone's favorite babysitter is back!  Transcript

In Episode 4 we talk about our country bumpkins' first time in a city -- well, a "city." There's a lot to learn in Baerlon, about inns, innkeepers, conquering dream logic, and ~The Future.~ Plus, everyone's favorite babysitter is back! <a href="https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5bf4b371f7939280b5c4696e/t/5c0d9a3a8a922dfd481545ea/1544395324265/EHR+Episode+4+Transcript+.pdf" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> Transcript</a>

Episode 4: A Family Can Be Your Ex-Babysitter

At some point in this episode, you'll hear a BEEP, and that is Emily derailing the podcast to eat her pizza. You'll also hear our Alt Shadow Rising Titles, our great Baz Luhrmann Circus Idea, and the return of Sally Googles Things.  Transcript

At some point in this episode, you'll hear a BEEP, and that is Emily derailing the podcast to eat her pizza. You'll also hear our Alt Shadow Rising Titles, our great Baz Luhrmann Circus Idea, and the return of Sally Googles Things. <a href="https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5bf4b371f7939280b5c4696e/t/5eb891f798232c36f5eb2437/1589154296484/EHR+Episode+76+Transcript+.pdf" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> Transcript</a>

Episode 76: Is He Snek?

In which Rand would totally be a Soul Cycle cult leader, Elaida is Donald Trump, Moiraine's ego is an unstoppable force, Robert Jordan uses RateMyAesSedai dot com, and we humbly suggest that you Do Not Do A War Crime.   Transcript

In which Rand would totally be a Soul Cycle cult leader, Elaida is Donald Trump, Moiraine's ego is an unstoppable force, Robert Jordan uses RateMyAesSedai dot com, and we humbly suggest that you Do Not Do A War Crime.  <a href="https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5bf4b371f7939280b5c4696e/t/5eb0a10734903e68960fe908/1588633864355/EHR+Episode+30+Transcript+.pdf" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> Transcript</a>

Episode 30: Bodcast: Ninety Push-Ups

We've now recorded twenty episodes of this podcast, which is crazy. Fittingly, we meet about twenty more main characters in this section, most of whom we hate. At least Galad is there!​  Transcript

We've now recorded twenty episodes of this podcast, which is crazy. Fittingly, we meet about twenty more main characters in this section, most of whom we hate. At least Galad is there!​ <a href="https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5bf4b371f7939280b5c4696e/t/5c0dcf1b03ce648d4005ca8e/1544408859994/EHR+Episode+20+Transcript+.pdf" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> Transcript</a>

Episode 20: That is NOT Dope

This episode we're talking about the dreaded literary embodiment of hentai herself, Lanfear. We explain in detail why we hate her, but we also have some non-hentai conversations about Magic Trees, the Talent Cycle, and that TV adaptation that's in the works.   Transcript

This episode we're talking about the dreaded literary embodiment of hentai herself, Lanfear. We explain in detail why we hate her, but we also have some non-hentai conversations about Magic Trees, the Talent Cycle, and that TV adaptation that's in the works.  <a href="https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5bf4b371f7939280b5c4696e/t/5e9cd535aae6d36c0e228607/1587336501758/Episode+36_+Trope+Maze.pdf" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> Transcript</a>

Episode 36: Trope Maze

It's a tired and giggly episode of EHR! We're talking about how Lan gives terrible advice, how Hurin should be spending time on his post-grad, and how Uno deserves true love, probably with someone brave and manly. And hilarious. And -- okay, it's Gaul. We've already planned the wedding.  Transcript 

It's a tired and giggly episode of EHR! We're talking about how Lan gives terrible advice, how Hurin should be spending time on his post-grad, and how Uno deserves true love, probably with someone brave and manly. And hilarious. And -- okay, it's Gaul. We've already planned the wedding. <a href="https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5bf4b371f7939280b5c4696e/t/5eb0a147a32e343230c226cb/1588633928458/Episode+33_+Smell+Like+Bullets.pdf" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> Transcript</a>

Episode 33: Smell Like Bullets

The best podcast episodes on romantic relationships. Episodes talk about the 5 love languages, intimacy, and the taboo topics of sexual desires and infidelity. This topic is a deep dive into the science and complexities that face us in our relationships with others. Add episodes you're interested into your queue below!

Best Episodes on Relationships & Love

The best podcast episodes of anyone with an interesting story. With famous guests like Obama, LeBron James, Drake, Oprah Winfrey, Richard Branson, Michelle Obama, Serena Williams, to anyone who has a unique and interesting story to tell. Add episodes you're interested into your queue below!