Cover image of Hello Dysfunction

Hello Dysfunction

Childhood best friends, Pata Fria and Crystal share the personal dysfunction in their lives, view on news, gossip, politics and so much more. Nothing is off limits, and everything is funny.

Ranked #1

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61: What’s Your Dirty White Secret?

61: What’s Your Dirty White Secret?

It’s the end of a decade and this week we have the amazing Lil Debbie joining us. Holiday recap, tips on successful gift... Read more

31 Dec 2019

2hr 5mins

Ranked #2

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3: Tether Ball

3: Tether Ball

In this tell all episode Pata Fria and Crystal Barbie open up and share everything about themselves. Secrets are spilled... Read more

16 Oct 2018

1hr 48mins

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Ranked #3

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45: Pilots Be Drunk

45: Pilots Be Drunk

This week the girls are back with lots of talk about Hawaii and the introduction of Dottie. Getting old sucks, weird dre... Read more

29 Aug 2019

1hr 49mins

Ranked #4

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4: Grandma Candy & Pocket Cheese

4: Grandma Candy & Pocket Cheese

This week the deviant duo return with even more dysfunction. Vaginal hygiene, loving people while they're here, Hallowee... Read more

23 Oct 2018

1hr 48mins

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Ranked #5

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62: Intimate Parts

62: Intimate Parts

The first episode of 2020 is here with more vagina talk, explore the possibilities of lube, teach your kids to properly ... Read more

9 Jan 2020

1hr 38mins

Ranked #6

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18: Foreskin & Pepper Spray

18: Foreskin & Pepper Spray

This week's discussion includes circumcision, pubic hair preferences, parental enablers, the new abortion law, birth con... Read more

29 Jan 2019

2hr 15mins

Ranked #7

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37: Piss over ice

37: Piss over ice

Episode 37 is here with some hippie hacks, trouble the kids have been into, Crystal’s grandfather is worse than we imagi... Read more

18 Jun 2019

2hr 13mins

Ranked #8

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54: I Better Not Be Burnt

54: I Better Not Be Burnt

This week the girls periods are syncing in studio 54 with a Halloween recap, no one wants to get drunk and go to bed alo... Read more

6 Nov 2019

1hr 33mins

Ranked #9

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53: 11 Dicks

53: 11 Dicks

Don’t trust Crystal with your Mexican drug operation, the Bay Area has been going thru it, tell your callers when they’r... Read more

30 Oct 2019

1hr 6mins

Ranked #10

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39: "I think Finnish people are cool"

39: "I think Finnish people are cool"

Episode 39 is here after a week off...the girls describe their new room, another example why humans suck, some celebrity... Read more

9 Jul 2019

2hr 13mins

Ranked #11

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5: The Stolen Car

5: The Stolen Car

It's episode five, and the dysfunction continues. This week the girls are talking about adults that don't do oral, sciss... Read more

30 Oct 2018

1hr 37mins

Ranked #12

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27: YOU WEAR FAKE TOES??

27: YOU WEAR FAKE TOES??

Episode 27 is full of random subjects and theories...we revisit chem trails, the effect hairstyles can have on a person,... Read more

1 Apr 2019

1hr 52mins

Ranked #13

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58: DON’T SPIT START IT

58: DON’T SPIT START IT

Live show recap, Billy was a joy, Apple is glitching our phones, kids shouldn’t give haircuts, foreplay is mandatory, po... Read more

4 Dec 2019

1hr 36mins

Ranked #14

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55: Post More Pics of Your Ass

55: Post More Pics of Your Ass

It’s National Kindness Day, is Rodney Reed a serial rapist? Dottie is leaking clear sh*t, there‘s actually a narcissism ... Read more

13 Nov 2019

1hr 24mins

Ranked #15

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15: Stay Outta The Creek

15: Stay Outta The Creek

Dog rescues, R. Kelly's bullshit, disturbing childhood stories, bullying, some parenting tips, and dirty creek rendezvou... Read more

9 Jan 2019

1hr 50mins

Ranked #16

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32: DAD, DON'T COME IN

32: DAD, DON'T COME IN

The ladies return for episode 32 with a Mother's Day recap, the importance of being polite, some interesting news, techn... Read more

14 May 2019

1hr 36mins

Ranked #17

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9: Weird Sex

9: Weird Sex

The holidays are here, and so is the dysfunction. This week the duo are talking about weird news, the online attack on s... Read more

28 Nov 2018

1hr 51mins

Ranked #18

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60: Tammy’s Getting Spanked

60: Tammy’s Getting Spanked

Crazy Xmas shopping and delivery delays, Crystal celebrates 14yrs w Mark, internet matchmaking, did Pata Fria finally cu... Read more

19 Dec 2019

1hr 26mins

Ranked #19

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25: Would You F*ck My Dead Body?

25: Would You F*ck My Dead Body?

This week is episode 25 and the dysfunction continues with an array of interesting subjects. Some advice is offered to t... Read more

19 Mar 2019

1hr 35mins

Ranked #20

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10: Parental Advisory

10: Parental Advisory

This week the dysfunctional duo are offering up parental advice of all sorts. From the Hawaiian Pine-sol event, apologiz... Read more

4 Dec 2018

1hr 44mins

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