We're diving into a reader question on creating effective community spaces.  This episode we discuss safer spaces, braver spaces and creative interventions.  Is the ban hammer the way to go or are there compassionate ways to manage safety concerns? What does success look like for a harms process? References:chrome-extension://efaidnbmnnnibpcajpcglclefindmkaj/https://www.creative-interventions.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/CI-Toolkit-Final-ENTIRE-Aug-2020-new-cover.pdf https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DARVO

We're diving into a reader question on creating effective community spaces.  This episode we discuss safer spaces, braver spaces and creative interventions.  Is the ban hammer the way to go or are there compassionate ways to manage safety concerns? What does success look like for a harms process?  References: chrome-extension://efaidnbmnnnibpcajpcglclefindmkaj/<a href="https://www.creative-interventions.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/CI-Toolkit-Final-ENTIRE-Aug-2020-new-cover.pdf" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.creative-interventions.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/CI-Toolkit-Final-ENTIRE-Aug-2020-new-cover.pdf</a> <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DARVO" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DARVO</a>

Creating Community Spaces

Episode 69 (Over Rated Sex Acts) is now live!Join us as we discuss how to navigate common events in polyamory communities.  What difficulties do attendees experience engaging in new spaces? Get a better understanding of how community leaders approach community events.  Learn ways to become more involved and how to create a space that fits you best. Don’t forget to subscribe if you want notifications when we post new episodes.Citations:- Photo by Inga Seliverstova from Pexels#NavigatingSocialEvents #EventBurnOut #ProbablyPoly #Awkward #ENM

Episode 69 (Over Rated Sex Acts) is now live! Join us as we discuss how to navigate common events in polyamory communities.  What difficulties do attendees experience engaging in new spaces? Get a better understanding of how community leaders approach community events.  Learn ways to become more involved and how to create a space that fits you best. Don’t forget to subscribe if you want notifications when we post new episodes. Citations: - Photo by Inga Seliverstova from Pexels #NavigatingSocialEvents #EventBurnOut #ProbablyPoly #Awkward #ENM

Navigating Social Situations While Awkward

Laugh with us as we giggle and guffaw in our 69th episode discussing overrated sex acts.  We normally bring you heavy topics, but this episode is all about fun.  We would like to caveat that the information presented is based on our own experiences and opinions.  C*m and celebrate with us getting to number 69.  Don’t forget to subscribe if you want notifications when we post new episodes.Citations:- Photo by Daria Sannikova from Pexels- The Ultimate Guide to Cunnilingus https://books.google.com/books/about/The_Ultimate_Guide_to_Cunnilingus.html?id=yk9p4FqmJqwC- The Ultimate Guide to Fellatio https://books.google.com/books/about/The_Ultimate_Guide_to_Fellatio.html?id=X8T0sglLnrAC

Laugh with us as we giggle and guffaw in our 69th episode discussing overrated sex acts. We normally bring you heavy topics, but this episode is all about fun. We would like to caveat that the information presented is based on our own experiences and opinions. C*m and celebrate with us getting to number 69. Don’t forget to subscribe if you want notifications when we post new episodes. Citations: - Photo by Daria Sannikova from Pexels - The Ultimate Guide to Cunnilingus <a href="https://books.google.com/books/about/The_Ultimate_Guide_to_Cunnilingus.html?id=yk9p4FqmJqwC" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://books.google.com/books/about/The_Ultimate_Guide_to_Cunnilingus.html?id=yk9p4FqmJqwC</a> - The Ultimate Guide to Fellatio <a href="https://books.google.com/books/about/The_Ultimate_Guide_to_Fellatio.html?id=X8T0sglLnrAC" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://books.google.com/books/about/The_Ultimate_Guide_to_Fellatio.html?id=X8T0sglLnrAC</a>

Overrated Sex Acts

You asked for an episode on the ethics of Unicorn Hunting and we gave it to you!  Listen to Michael, Mandee, and Sarah discuss the defining factors for Unicorn Hunting.  What are the red flags and prep work needed if you are considering this relationship style or being approached to join a couple?  We also discuss how to address Unicorn Hunting as a group leader.Citations:- Photo by Daria Sannikova from Pexels- OPP Episode: https://www.probablypoly.com/post/episode-33-the-one-eggplant-policy- Closed Relationships:https://www.probablypoly.com/post/episode-63-closed-relationships-ethical-otherwise- Couples Privilege Episode: https://www.probablypoly.com/post/episode-61-couples-privilege- Consent is Not Always Enough: https://www.probablypoly.com/post/episode-58-consent-isn-t-always-enough

You asked for an episode on the ethics of Unicorn Hunting and we gave it to you! Listen to Michael, Mandee, and Sarah discuss the defining factors for Unicorn Hunting. What are the red flags and prep work needed if you are considering this relationship style or being approached to join a couple? We also discuss how to address Unicorn Hunting as a group leader. Citations: - Photo by Daria Sannikova from Pexels - OPP Episode: <a href="https://www.probablypoly.com/post/episode-33-the-one-eggplant-policy" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.probablypoly.com/post/episode-33-the-one-eggplant-policy</a> - Closed Relationships:<a href="https://www.probablypoly.com/post/episode-63-closed-relationships-ethical-otherwise" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.probablypoly.com/post/episode-63-closed-relationships-ethical-otherwise</a> - Couples Privilege Episode: <a href="https://www.probablypoly.com/post/episode-61-couples-privilege" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.probablypoly.com/post/episode-61-couples-privilege</a> - Consent is Not Always Enough: <a href="https://www.probablypoly.com/post/episode-58-consent-isn-t-always-enough" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.probablypoly.com/post/episode-58-consent-isn-t-always-enough</a>

Unicorn Hunting Relationships

Join us as we welcome back Sarah and introduce a method of creating durable, modular, and ethical agreements to help you meet your safer sex goals. Once a much talked about concept fluid bonding agreements have fallen out of favor in ethical non-monogamy for being often problematic and hierarchal, and we can’t help but agree. However, there were some valuable concepts we wanted to salvage and continue to polish into more useful and more ethical forms. Merchandise Website:  https://www.etsy.com/shop/MandeeMakesMerch

Join us as we welcome back Sarah and introduce a method of creating durable, modular, and ethical agreements to help you meet your safer sex goals. Once a much talked about concept fluid bonding agreements have fallen out of favor in ethical non-monogamy for being often problematic and hierarchal, and we can’t help but agree. However, there were some valuable concepts we wanted to salvage and continue to polish into more useful and more ethical forms. Merchandise Website: <a href="https://www.etsy.com/shop/MandeeMakesMerch" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.etsy.com/shop/MandeeMakesMerch</a>

Sexual Safety Agreements Chain

In this episode we look at building up trust and open honest communication, especially how to build trust with people who have experienced betrayals in the past, from yourself or others. We also look at the power of gratitude and communication tools to make it all work.

Building Trust and Cultivating Gratitude

Episode 65 (Crystal Byrd Farmer on The Token) is now live!We are very lucky to have Crystal Byrd Farmer drop by this week to talk about her book. “The Token” is a practical guide, including workshops, on how to look critically at majority communities wishing to increase diversity across any axis as well as common mistakes, how well meaning people are often still doing harm, and the best ways to avoid those harms.Citations:Crystal’s Website: https://crystalbyrdfarmer.comBuy the Token from the Publisher: https://newsociety.com/books/t/the-token

Episode 65 (Crystal Byrd Farmer on The Token) is now live! We are very lucky to have Crystal Byrd Farmer drop by this week to talk about her book. “The Token” is a practical guide, including workshops, on how to look critically at majority communities wishing to increase diversity across any axis as well as common mistakes, how well meaning people are often still doing harm, and the best ways to avoid those harms. Citations: Crystal’s Website: <a href="https://crystalbyrdfarmer.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://crystalbyrdfarmer.com</a> Buy the Token from the Publisher: <a href="https://newsociety.com/books/t/the-token" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://newsociety.com/books/t/the-token</a>

Crystal Byrd Farmer on The Token

Franklin Veaux

We have the amazing honor this week of interviewing five of the people who spoke up about their experiences with Franklin Veaux, who have gone collectively by the name "the Franklin Veaux survivors" (although they don't all individually identify as survivors) — Melanie, Rose, Celeste, Eve and Marissa. We talk about what went right and what went wrong during the harms process and ways in which we can apply these lessons to our communities and culture going forward. Citations:Survivor Archive: https://www.itrippedonthepolystair.com Jiji Judges: https://twitter.com/jijijudges Crystal Farmer on Reid Mihalko’s harms process: https://medium.com/@crystalbyrdfarmer/on-accountability-and-reid-mihalko-12bcb8afbb21Rose on community response to Harms: https://ourbetternatures.wordpress.com/2019/06/08/community-response-to-complaints/Survivor Statement about the Harms Process: https://link.medium.com/8g9lXLxeXbb

We have the amazing honor this week of interviewing five of the people who spoke up about their experiences with Franklin Veaux, who have gone collectively by the name "the Franklin Veaux survivors" (although they don't all individually identify as survivors) — Melanie, Rose, Celeste, Eve and Marissa. We talk about what went right and what went wrong during the harms process and ways in which we can apply these lessons to our communities and culture going forward. Citations: Survivor Archive: <a href="https://www.itrippedonthepolystair.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.itrippedonthepolystair.com</a> Jiji Judges: <a href="https://twitter.com/jijijudges" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://twitter.com/jijijudges</a> Crystal Farmer on Reid Mihalko’s harms process: <a href="https://medium.com/@crystalbyrdfarmer/on-accountability-and-reid-mihalko-12bcb8afbb21" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://medium.com/@crystalbyrdfarmer/on-accountability-and-reid-mihalko-12bcb8afbb21</a> Rose on community response to Harms: <a href="https://ourbetternatures.wordpress.com/2019/06/08/community-response-to-complaints/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://ourbetternatures.wordpress.com/2019/06/08/community-response-to-complaints/</a> Survivor Statement about the Harms Process: <a href="https://link.medium.com/8g9lXLxeXbb" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://link.medium.com/8g9lXLxeXbb</a>

A First Hand Look at the Franklin Veaux Harms Process

In this episode explore the ethics of closed relationships. This includes explicitly non-monogamous closed relationships (often called poly-fidelitous) as well as how unintentionally closed relationships that represent or see themselves as open form.Visual Resource for Boundaries, Wants &amp; Needs Visualization: probablypoly.com/resources

In this episode explore the ethics of closed relationships. This includes explicitly non-monogamous closed relationships (often called poly-fidelitous) as well as how unintentionally closed relationships that represent or see themselves as open form. Visual Resource for Boundaries, Wants &amp; Needs Visualization: <a href="http://probablypoly.com/resources" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">probablypoly.com/resources</a>

Closed Relationships: ethical & otherwise

In this episode we invite therapist Dr. Daniel Stillwell on the show to discuss the difference between the ways in which he applies the theories of boundaries, needs, and wants in his practice and common ways these theories are discussed or talked about in relationship help texts and the poly community at large. We separate multiple functioning ways to apply different versions of these theories for different scenarios and discuss the importance of defining your terms in discussions with partners.Join Our Next Chat Saturday November 7th from 5 to 7pm EST: meet.google.com/ftw-gpod-adcGet a copy of the visual from the episode complete with map key at: https://www.probablypoly.com/resourcesCheck out Dr. Daniel Stillwell at StillwellTherapy.com

In this episode we invite therapist Dr. Daniel Stillwell on the show to discuss the difference between the ways in which he applies the theories of boundaries, needs, and wants in his practice and common ways these theories are discussed or talked about in relationship help texts and the poly community at large. We separate multiple functioning ways to apply different versions of these theories for different scenarios and discuss the importance of defining your terms in discussions with partners. Join Our Next Chat Saturday November 7th from 5 to 7pm EST: <a href="http://meet.google.com/ftw-gpod-adc" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">meet.google.com/ftw-gpod-adc</a> Get a copy of the visual from the episode complete with map key at: <a href="https://www.probablypoly.com/resources" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.probablypoly.com/resources</a> Check out Dr. Daniel Stillwell at <a href="http://StillwellTherapy.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">StillwellTherapy.com</a>

Same Words Different Tools

So glad I found you guys! You were recommended on a different poly podcast. Can’t wait to listen to them all. Ps his voice is bomb. 👍🏻

So happy

This podcast is conscious and well researched. They put great effort into being correct and inclusive on all topics. The main host is well
spoken and is always willing to correct any information as needed. They are all involved in the community and put great effort in the finished product. Also, as far as editing style, the sound is clean and the pace consistent. Michael edits out dead air and unneeded transitions. The listener’s time is respected, and the pace is very satisfying.

A mindful and precise listen

Probably Poly

In the sister episode to “Opening up Our Relationships” we focus on the methods and tools we suggest for having the safest and most ethically sound relationship transitions. Make no mistake, however, this episode is about much more then “opening up”. It is, at base, an episode on navigating difficult conversations through the lens of opening up.  We bumbled through it ourselves, but we’re hoping you won’t have to.

In the sister episode to “Opening up Our Relationships” we focus on the methods and tools we suggest for having the safest and most ethically sound relationship transitions. Make no mistake, however, this episode is about much more then “opening up”. It is, at base, an episode on navigating difficult conversations through the lens of opening up. We bumbled through it ourselves, but we’re hoping you won’t have to.

How to Open up Your Relationship

This week we had two wonderful listener questions but they were both too long to be an intro and not long enough to be full episodes so we paired them together to get one full episode. What do you say when someone asks you to tell them if they are poly or not? For that matter how do you know you are poly? Thats the meat of the first half of the episode and for the second half we have a very specific case study of STI disclosure ethics.

Two Questions One Episode

Our 30th episode was taped live at APW with our fans. We discuss the structure of jealously and answer listener questions directly in this extra long extra live episode.Citations:- Handbook of Jealousy (book) Edited by Sybil L. Hart and Maria Legerstee- A Perfect Mess (book)Eric Abrahamson and David H. Freeman

Our 30th episode was taped live at APW with our fans. We discuss the structure of jealously and answer listener questions directly in this extra long extra live episode. Citations: - Handbook of Jealousy (book) Edited by Sybil L. Hart and Maria Legerstee - A Perfect Mess (book)Eric Abrahamson and David H. Freeman

Jealousy Live at APW

In this episode we critically examine the cultural narratives around romance. We pay special attention to how those ideas can be dangerous and objectifying, how we can avoid those outcomes, and also (for some odd reason) how I ended up with a fish.

Romantic Objectification

This week Angel Kalafatis-Russell aka Professor Sex of ProfessorSex.com joins us to discuss the ethics of STI testing, treatment, and disclosure. As well as best safe practices for safer sex and STi testing. This super long pre-holiday episode features our new sound software made possible by the generous donations of our listeners. Thank you so much all those who have donated.Links:Professor Sex: https://professorsex.comPolyPages Guest Episode: https://anchor.fm/polypages/episodes/BONUS---Polyamory-as-Identity--Sexual-Orientation--or-Intimate-Practice-e9c5omRecommended Books Page: https://www.probablypoly.com/resources

This week Angel Kalafatis-Russell aka Professor Sex of <a href="http://ProfessorSex.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">ProfessorSex.com</a> joins us to discuss the ethics of STI testing, treatment, and disclosure. As well as best safe practices for safer sex and STi testing. This super long pre-holiday episode features our new sound software made possible by the generous donations of our listeners. Thank you so much all those who have donated. Links: Professor Sex: <a href="https://professorsex.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://professorsex.com</a> PolyPages Guest Episode: <a href="https://anchor.fm/polypages/episodes/BONUS---Polyamory-as-Identity--Sexual-Orientation--or-Intimate-Practice-e9c5om" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://anchor.fm/polypages/episodes/BONUS---Polyamory-as-Identity--Sexual-Orientation--or-Intimate-Practice-e9c5om</a> Recommended Books Page: <a href="https://www.probablypoly.com/resources" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.probablypoly.com/resources</a>

Professor Sex and STI's

Short version: We’ve got a survivor pod update and we talk about the seemingly ever present one eggplant policy. Long Version: Its way past my bedtime and I can’t think of a teaser. So I’m gonna try something new and let the first person in our community who sends me a reasonable teaser text get their teaser used (with attribution and thanks listed or anonymously their choice).Citations:Survivor Stories: https://polyamory-metoo.com/intro-part-2/?fbclid=IwAR07BZcoG90qy3W2rayOkx68Ks4Y22EVxcfRoYHy05DRZBmD1rBoiM1IFTQPod Update: https://medium.com/@fv.survivor.pod/life-rewards-courage-more-survivor-stories-released-today-d796ebfb747c

Short version: We’ve got a survivor pod update and we talk about the seemingly ever present one eggplant policy. Long Version: Its way past my bedtime and I can’t think of a teaser. So I’m gonna try something new and let the first person in our community who sends me a reasonable teaser text get their teaser used (with attribution and thanks listed or anonymously their choice). Citations: Survivor Stories: <a href="https://polyamory-metoo.com/intro-part-2/?fbclid=IwAR07BZcoG90qy3W2rayOkx68Ks4Y22EVxcfRoYHy05DRZBmD1rBoiM1IFTQ" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://polyamory-metoo.com/intro-part-2/?fbclid=IwAR07BZcoG90qy3W2rayOkx68Ks4Y22EVxcfRoYHy05DRZBmD1rBoiM1IFTQ</a> Pod Update: <a href="https://medium.com/@fv.survivor.pod/life-rewards-courage-more-survivor-stories-released-today-d796ebfb747c" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://medium.com/@fv.survivor.pod/life-rewards-courage-more-survivor-stories-released-today-d796ebfb747c</a>

The One Eggplant Policy

In this episode of Probably Poly we introduce our new cohost and tackle the issue of how invoking rights discourse, such as right to autonomy, and right to free speech, inside interpersonal relationships can be oppressive and how we can replace those invocations with consent.

Autonomy is Not a Cudgel

Join us for our 1-year anniversary, as we discuss how members of leadership can more safely engage in relationships with community members. We are also very lucky to enjoy some words of wisdom from Samantha Manewitz, our guest on the last podcast, for additional depth. This is a great episode and we hope you all enjoy it.We also now have a donation button, so if you want to support future work check out the link: https://www.probablypoly.com/donate

Join us for our 1-year anniversary, as we discuss how members of leadership can more safely engage in relationships with community members. We are also very lucky to enjoy some words of wisdom from Samantha Manewitz, our guest on the last podcast, for additional depth. This is a great episode and we hope you all enjoy it. We also now have a donation button, so if you want to support future work check out the link: <a href="https://www.probablypoly.com/donate" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.probablypoly.com/donate</a>

Rules for Leadership Dating Members in our Communities

This week we talk in depth about the origins and functions of moral language, words like “good” and “evil”, “bad” and “good”. These sorts of questions are very important when thinking about how to judge others, how to forgive ourselves, and how to understand the burgeoning transformative justice movement.Citations: Article about the issues of believing in meritocracy: https://www.fastcompany.com/40510522/meritocracy-doesnt-exist-and-believing-it-does-is-bad-for-you

This week we talk in depth about the origins and functions of moral language, words like “good” and “evil”, “bad” and “good”. These sorts of questions are very important when thinking about how to judge others, how to forgive ourselves, and how to understand the burgeoning transformative justice movement. Citations: Article about the issues of believing in meritocracy: <a href="https://www.fastcompany.com/40510522/meritocracy-doesnt-exist-and-believing-it-does-is-bad-for-you" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.fastcompany.com/40510522/meritocracy-doesnt-exist-and-believing-it-does-is-bad-for-you</a>

How Believing In Good And Evil is Antisocial

This week instead of theory we talk news. As many of your know by now Franklin Veaux has been accused of abuse by a six member survivor pod. You can, and should, read their statement (link below). We do our best to discuss this extremely important and complex topic and have linked many helpful and illuminating articles below.Links:Survivor Pod Statment: https://medium.com/@fv.survivor.pod/on-light-and-shadow-polyamorys-metoo-411e0275c2fe?fbclid=IwAR0b7fYPlkG4tBjPuCOQ81_p-rcZLtA2F2ewg-WHaSXYB5YIY39JVDMylRIEve Rickets Abuse Description: (possibly connected, unclear): https://ourbetternatures.wordpress.com/2018/11/08/guest-post-anger-management/?fbclid=IwAR3JRffiwA3rHAs9v9jS5RX-7hvdhMRhdE6z-_oYiMtyFbuajaPkWfRkgHsRedit Repost of Franklin’s February 11th response on Quora with original link (now deleted) and official response from survivor pod representation: https://www.reddit.com/r/polyamory/comments/aph1uq/on_light_and_shadow_polyamorys_metoo_franklin/eg8imc0/Additional Article on Background Work: http://louisaleontiades.com/polyamorys-metoo/?fbclid=IwAR2MkHf3CbLlGNJbRJrbGR_zlA4ZwqkiF1GwQiwYqo4gLu1Qe6PJUeIb420

This week instead of theory we talk news. As many of your know by now Franklin Veaux has been accused of abuse by a six member survivor pod. You can, and should, read their statement (link below). We do our best to discuss this extremely important and complex topic and have linked many helpful and illuminating articles below. Links: Survivor Pod Statment: <a href="https://medium.com/@fv.survivor.pod/on-light-and-shadow-polyamorys-metoo-411e0275c2fe?fbclid=IwAR0b7fYPlkG4tBjPuCOQ81_p-rcZLtA2F2ewg-WHaSXYB5YIY39JVDMylRI" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://medium.com/@fv.survivor.pod/on-light-and-shadow-polyamorys-metoo-411e0275c2fe?fbclid=IwAR0b7fYPlkG4tBjPuCOQ81_p-rcZLtA2F2ewg-WHaSXYB5YIY39JVDMylRI</a> Eve Rickets Abuse Description: (possibly connected, unclear): <a href="https://ourbetternatures.wordpress.com/2018/11/08/guest-post-anger-management/?fbclid=IwAR3JRffiwA3rHAs9v9jS5RX-7hvdhMRhdE6z-_oYiMtyFbuajaPkWfRkgHs" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://ourbetternatures.wordpress.com/2018/11/08/guest-post-anger-management/?fbclid=IwAR3JRffiwA3rHAs9v9jS5RX-7hvdhMRhdE6z-_oYiMtyFbuajaPkWfRkgHs</a> Redit Repost of Franklin’s February 11th response on Quora with original link (now deleted) and official response from survivor pod representation: <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/polyamory/comments/aph1uq/on_light_and_shadow_polyamorys_metoo_franklin/eg8imc0/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.reddit.com/r/polyamory/comments/aph1uq/on_light_and_shadow_polyamorys_metoo_franklin/eg8imc0/</a> Additional Article on Background Work: <a href="http://louisaleontiades.com/polyamorys-metoo/?fbclid=IwAR2MkHf3CbLlGNJbRJrbGR_zlA4ZwqkiF1GwQiwYqo4gLu1Qe6PJUeIb420" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">http://louisaleontiades.com/polyamorys-metoo/?fbclid=IwAR2MkHf3CbLlGNJbRJrbGR_zlA4ZwqkiF1GwQiwYqo4gLu1Qe6PJUeIb420</a>

Discussing Franklin Veaux

This week we discuss evaluating who and when you should come out to with our guest Sarah Neal who provides a set of questions you can ask yourself as a framework to understand the risks rewards and options available to you around coming out.

Questions to Ask Before Coming Out

In this episode we introduce our new format, discuss the newly released survivor stories from the polyamory’s #metoo survivor pod, and look at why we blame. Specifically, we look at when and how blame is useful and healthy, when it’s not, and why and how we can remove blame as much as possible from our relationships. Survivor Stories: https://polyamory-metoo.com/?fbclid=IwAR0OWVpDxB6zsdbYQF35m1RNjFuAa1Tz5Yv9eB-j45LoI5ixWnutmw9_LPk

In this episode we introduce our new format, discuss the newly released survivor stories from the polyamory’s #metoo survivor pod, and look at why we blame. Specifically, we look at when and how blame is useful and healthy, when it’s not, and why and how we can remove blame as much as possible from our relationships. Survivor Stories: <a href="https://polyamory-metoo.com/?fbclid=IwAR0OWVpDxB6zsdbYQF35m1RNjFuAa1Tz5Yv9eB-j45LoI5ixWnutmw9_LPk" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://polyamory-metoo.com/?fbclid=IwAR0OWVpDxB6zsdbYQF35m1RNjFuAa1Tz5Yv9eB-j45LoI5ixWnutmw9_LPk</a>

Blame Management

ost people say they have it, but have you ever asked yourself what you mean when you say you have free will, what it means, or why it might matter? These questions are extremely important and we hope you’ll join us in exploring them.Citations:Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy entry on Free Will: https://plato.stanford.edu/entries/freewill/

ost people say they have it, but have you ever asked yourself what you mean when you say you have free will, what it means, or why it might matter? These questions are extremely important and we hope you’ll join us in exploring them. Citations: Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy entry on Free Will: <a href="https://plato.stanford.edu/entries/freewill/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://plato.stanford.edu/entries/freewill/</a>

What is Free Will Anyway?

In this episode we discuss, well basically every facet of effort and reviving effort, or gratitude. We look at why we might be resentful of how our effort is received, how receiving too much effort might be difficult, how it’s likely that everyone in the relationship is working much harder than you realize and much more. So join us for a deep dive and if you have any questions left over throw them up on the facebook page or send them in via email.

Effort & Gratitude

What’s the difference between ending a relationship and transitioning one? If you do transition a relationship what are your options? How does navigating the end or transition of a relationship differ between polyamory and non-monogamy. Join us this week for the answers!

Ending vs Transitioning Relationships

Have you ever wondered why people tell more negative stories then positive stories? Or, wonder what the most commonly misunderstood reasons for communication breakdowns are? Do you just want to improve your own communication success rate? Or do you want to understand the linguistic theories that undergird the ethical theories we use at Probably Poly? Then check out this weeks episode.

Communication is Haaarrrrdd

Mandee Conant returns and we all discus the meaning of objectification, how we want to use it on the show, and how the concept can be used in the non-monogamous discourse.

Objectification Overview

This week we respond to a listener question about how to work with neurodivergent members of our communities in a way that benefits everyone. We are particularly excited to have my friend Louis who identifies as having Aspergers stops by to give some guidance and react to our suggestions. After we published this episode we were contacted by a concerned listener. This version includes a forwards and afterwords intended to address those concerns. Forward: 00:00 - 04:26Original Episode: 04:27 - 42:24Afterword: 42:25 - 57:46Citations:Respectful Disability Language Guide: http://www.aucd.org/docs/add/sa_summits/Language%20Doc.pdfMTV’s Decode Episode on African American Vernacular Dialect: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l-VnitbeS6w&amp;feature=youtu.be&amp;fbclid=IwAR3XSX7w0cZYOFWVUwGknTWpUGe8B3njuIiphUqJZAa2jNcuVBX__9SY7XQObsidian Tea: https://obsidiantea.comBlack and White Styles in Conflict: https://www.press.uchicago.edu/ucp/books/book/chicago/B/bo5960984.htmlWhy I'm No Longer Talking to White People About Race:  http://renieddolodge.co.uk/books/So You Want to Talk About Race: http://www.ijeomaoluo.com/The Racial Contract by Charles W. Mills https://www.amazon.com/Racial-Contract-Charles-W-Mills/dp/0801484634“Hey, Beautiful”: On the Racist and Classist Implications of the Catcalling Video: http://www.bkmag.com/2014/10/29/hey-beautiful-on-the-racist-and-classist-implications-of-the-catcalling-video/

This week we respond to a listener question about how to work with neurodivergent members of our communities in a way that benefits everyone. We are particularly excited to have my friend Louis who identifies as having Aspergers stops by to give some guidance and react to our suggestions. After we published this episode we were contacted by a concerned listener. This version includes a forwards and afterwords intended to address those concerns. Forward: 00:00 - 04:26 Original Episode: 04:27 - 42:24 Afterword: 42:25 - 57:46 Citations: Respectful Disability Language Guide: <a href="http://www.aucd.org/docs/add/sa_summits/Language%20Doc.pdf" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">http://www.aucd.org/docs/add/sa_summits/Language%20Doc.pdf</a> MTV’s Decode Episode on African American Vernacular Dialect: <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l-VnitbeS6w&amp;feature=youtu.be&amp;fbclid=IwAR3XSX7w0cZYOFWVUwGknTWpUGe8B3njuIiphUqJZAa2jNcuVBX__9SY7XQ" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l-VnitbeS6w&amp;feature=youtu.be&amp;fbclid=IwAR3XSX7w0cZYOFWVUwGknTWpUGe8B3njuIiphUqJZAa2jNcuVBX__9SY7XQ</a> Obsidian Tea: <a href="https://obsidiantea.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://obsidiantea.com</a> Black and White Styles in Conflict: <a href="https://www.press.uchicago.edu/ucp/books/book/chicago/B/bo5960984.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.press.uchicago.edu/ucp/books/book/chicago/B/bo5960984.html</a> Why I'm No Longer Talking to White People About Race: <a href="http://renieddolodge.co.uk/books/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">http://renieddolodge.co.uk/books/</a> So You Want to Talk About Race: <a href="http://www.ijeomaoluo.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">http://www.ijeomaoluo.com/</a> The Racial Contract by Charles W. Mills <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Racial-Contract-Charles-W-Mills/dp/0801484634" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.amazon.com/Racial-Contract-Charles-W-Mills/dp/0801484634</a> “Hey, Beautiful”: On the Racist and Classist Implications of the Catcalling Video: <a href="http://www.bkmag.com/2014/10/29/hey-beautiful-on-the-racist-and-classist-implications-of-the-catcalling-video/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">http://www.bkmag.com/2014/10/29/hey-beautiful-on-the-racist-and-classist-implications-of-the-catcalling-video/</a>

Hidden Disabilities and Polyamorous Communities

Join us this week to hear our thoughts and stories on opening up our own relationships, well Mandee and mine at any rate. Sarah, hasn’t opened up a relationship so she just asks insightful questions.

Opening Up Our Relationships

What does it mean to you? Is it different for monogamous and non-monogamous communities? If so how? What is the difference, if any between commitments to sexual partners and non-sexual friends? This week on Probably Poly we talk commitment and try to answer these questions and more.

What Does Commitment Really Mean

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