How do we tell our kids not to curse when they insist that everyone around them—maybe even their parents—do so? Amy explains different scenarios for cursing and what she deems appropriate for her own kids.A listener asks:"Can you talk about when kids curse, when we curse...does it matter? My kids are almost 13 and 15 and they say everyone curses. We allow some cursing—heck, we have even been known to toss out some ourselves—but now I think my oldest curses too much and yet she is a straight A student."When it comes to younger kids, Amy explains, it pays to be strict about cursing or else you'll run out of room to enforce rules around such things when they're older.There's a big difference between cursing at, say, a stubbed toe, and cursing at someone or calling them a curse word. The latter never flies in Amy's house. You can also differentiate for your kids the kinds of conversations that happen amongst friends and those that occur in formal settings like school and work.Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers:For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning free diapers. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How do we tell our kids not to curse when they insist that everyone around them—maybe even their parents—do so? Amy explains different scenarios for cursing and what she deems appropriate for her own kids.A listener asks:"Can you talk about when kids curse, when we curse...does it matter? My kids are almost 13 and 15 and they say everyone curses. We allow some cursing—heck, we have even been known to toss out some ourselves—but now I think my oldest curses too much and yet she is a straight A student."When it comes to younger kids, Amy explains, it pays to be strict about cursing or else you'll run out of room to enforce rules around such things when they're older.There's a big difference between cursing at, say, a stubbed toe, and cursing at someone or calling them a curse word. The latter never flies in Amy's house. You can also differentiate for your kids the kinds of conversations that happen amongst friends and those that occur in formal settings like school and work.Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers:For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. <a href="https://www.pampers.com/en-us" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Download the Pampers Club App today</a> to start earning free diapers. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit <a href="https://megaphone.fm/adchoices" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">megaphone.fm/adchoices</a>

Ask Amy: Should I Care If My Teenagers Curse? 

Can we grieve the person we were before motherhood? Jamilla Svansson-Brown, who runs a YouTube channel with her wife Que, discusses how motherhood changes us, strengthening marriages, and listening to people with different lived experiences.Jamilla and Que are a two-mom family based in Atlanta, GA, who have been creating content for over 7 years after recognizing a gap in the influencer industry and not seeing creators who were Black Women, Fem/Masc presenting, or a part of the LGBTQ community.Jamilla and Margaret discuss: How parenthood changes our relationships with our partners How the division of labor works in the Svansson-Brown household What it means to be an authentic ally Here's where you can find Jamilla and Que:  www.jamillaandque.com @jamillaandque on YouTube, TikTok, and IG We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Can we grieve the person we were before motherhood? <a href="https://www.jamillaandque.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Jamilla Svansson-Brown</a>, who runs a <a href="https://www.jamillaandque.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">YouTube channel</a> with her wife Que, discusses how motherhood changes us, strengthening marriages, and listening to people with different lived experiences.Jamilla and Que are a two-mom family based in Atlanta, GA, who have been creating content for over 7 years after recognizing a gap in the influencer industry and not seeing creators who were Black Women, Fem/Masc presenting, or a part of the LGBTQ community.Jamilla and Margaret discuss:<ul> <li>How parenthood changes our relationships with our partners</li> <li>How the division of labor works in the Svansson-Brown household</li> <li>What it means to be an authentic ally</li> </ul> Here's where you can find Jamilla and Que: <ul> <li><a href="https://www.jamillaandque.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.jamillaandque.com</a></li> <li>@jamillaandque on YouTube, TikTok, and IG</li> </ul> We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:<a href="https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/</a> Learn more about your ad choices. Visit <a href="https://megaphone.fm/adchoices" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">megaphone.fm/adchoices</a>

Fresh Take: Jamilla Svansson-Brown on How Motherhood Changes Us

Are people with clean houses doing a bit? Are people with messy ones somehow less worthy? Kendra Adachi, author of THE LAZY GENIUS WAY tells us how to make a just-good-enough system that works for exactly us - and stop caring about everything else.Kendra Adachi also hosts "The Lazy Genius" podcast and is the mother of three young kids.Kendra, Margaret, and Amy discuss: How to implement systems that are practical rather than Pinterest-worthy Why we should stop applauding chaos as the only indicator of vulnerability The power of putting everything in its place Here's where you can find Kendra:  www.thelazygeniuscollective.com Buy The Lazy Genius Way: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780525653936  @thelazygenius on IG We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Are people with clean houses doing a bit? Are people with messy ones somehow less worthy? <a href="https://www.thelazygeniuscollective.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Kendra Adachi</a>, author of <a href="https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780525653936" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">THE LAZY GENIUS WAY</a> tells us how to make a just-good-enough system that works for exactly us - and stop caring about everything else.Kendra Adachi also hosts "The Lazy Genius" podcast and is the mother of three young kids.Kendra, Margaret, and Amy discuss:<ul> <li>How to implement systems that are practical rather than Pinterest-worthy</li> <li>Why we should stop applauding chaos as the only indicator of vulnerability</li> <li>The power of putting everything in its place</li> </ul> Here's where you can find Kendra: <ul> <li><a href="https://www.thelazygeniuscollective.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.thelazygeniuscollective.com</a></li> <li>Buy The Lazy Genius Way: <a href="https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780525653936" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780525653936</a> </li> <li>@thelazygenius on IG</li> </ul> We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:<a href="https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/</a> Learn more about your ad choices. Visit <a href="https://megaphone.fm/adchoices" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">megaphone.fm/adchoices</a>

BEST OF: Ditching What Doesn't Matter (with the Lazy Genius)

When our child is suddenly being left out of their friend group, how can we help them cope without giving in to our own emotions about the situation? A member of our Facebook group writes:"My 9-year-old finally made a new group of friends this year in school, and the other day at recess they announced that they don’t want to be her friend anymore. She is crushed, and while I know this is part of growing up, I don’t know how to help her.  I let her stay home today- to be honest, partly so she doesn’t have to endure a recess with this group of girls ignoring her or worse.I know missing school is not the answer. How can I help her? "Margaret reminds this listener that she's not on the emotional roller coaster with her kid in this situation - rather, she is a neutral and safe space for her child to express their feelings about the situation.It's important to let your child feel whatever they need to about the situation without trying to "fix" them or suggesting how they might behave differently in order to gain entry back into the friend group. Remind them that they can only control how they react to the situation, and empower them to focus on other friendships, hobbies, and activities for the time being.In the meantime, watch out for signs that your child is suffering from severe bullying, such as weight loss, loss of appetite, or loss of interest in normal activities - this could mean that they need a more robust form of intervention on their behalf.Here are links to some resources Margaret mentions:  Sherri Gordon for VeryWell Family: 7 Tips for Helping Kids Deal With Being Ostracized  Our episode about bullies Our episode "Mean Girls with Katie Hurley"  Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers:For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning free diapers. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When our child is suddenly being left out of their friend group, how can we help them cope without giving in to our own emotions about the situation? A member of our Facebook group writes:"My 9-year-old finally made a new group of friends this year in school, and the other day at recess they announced that they don’t want to be her friend anymore. She is crushed, and while I know this is part of growing up, I don’t know how to help her. I let her stay home today- to be honest, partly so she doesn’t have to endure a recess with this group of girls ignoring her or worse.I know missing school is not the answer. How can I help her? "Margaret reminds this listener that she's not on the emotional roller coaster with her kid in this situation - rather, she is a neutral and safe space for her child to express their feelings about the situation.It's important to let your child feel whatever they need to about the situation without trying to "fix" them or suggesting how they might behave differently in order to gain entry back into the friend group. Remind them that they can only control how they react to the situation, and empower them to focus on other friendships, hobbies, and activities for the time being.In the meantime, watch out for signs that your child is suffering from severe bullying, such as weight loss, loss of appetite, or loss of interest in normal activities - this could mean that they need a more robust form of intervention on their behalf.Here are links to some resources Margaret mentions: <ul> <li>Sherri Gordon for VeryWell Family: <a href="https://www.verywellfamily.com/help-your-child-deal-with-being-ostracized-460790" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">7 Tips for Helping Kids Deal With Being Ostracized</a> </li> <li><a href="https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/bullies/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Our episode about bullies</a></li> <li>Our episode <a href="https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/mean-girls-with-guest-author-katie-hurley/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">"Mean Girls with Katie Hurley"</a> </li> </ul> Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers:For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. <a href="https://www.pampers.com/en-us" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Download the Pampers Club App today</a> to start earning free diapers. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit <a href="https://megaphone.fm/adchoices" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">megaphone.fm/adchoices</a>

Ask Margaret: My Child Is Being Ostracized 

Lara Love Hardin

What happens when your perfect life comes crumbling down? Lara Love Hardin, author of the new memoir "The Many Lives of Mama Love" shares her experiences of addiction and incarceration, how it affected her children,  and how it shaped the new life she has now.Amy and Lara discuss: What it's like to parent from prison How the prison system keeps women down How Lara found her own version of redemption Here's where you can find Lara:  https://www.laralovehardin.com/ IG: @laralovehardin Facebook: Lara Love Hardin  Buy Lara's book: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781982197667   The Gemma Project Watch Lara's TED Talk We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What happens when your perfect life comes crumbling down? <a href="https://www.laralovehardin.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Lara Love Hardin</a>, author of the new memoir <a href="https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781982197667" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">"The Many Lives of Mama Love"</a> shares her experiences of addiction and incarceration, how it affected her children, and how it shaped the new life she has now.Amy and Lara discuss:<ul> <li>What it's like to parent from prison</li> <li>How the prison system keeps women down</li> <li>How Lara found her own version of redemption</li> </ul> Here's where you can find Lara: <ul> <li><a href="https://www.laralovehardin.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.laralovehardin.com/</a></li> <li>IG: @laralovehardin</li> <li>Facebook: Lara Love Hardin </li> <li>Buy Lara's book: <a href="https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781982197667" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781982197667 </a> </li> <li><a href="https://www.thegemmaproject.org/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">The Gemma Project</a></li> <li><a href="https://www.ted.com/talks/lara_love_hardin_thieves_of_hope" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Watch Lara's TED Talk</a></li> </ul> We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:<a href="https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/</a> Learn more about your ad choices. Visit <a href="https://megaphone.fm/adchoices" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">megaphone.fm/adchoices</a>

Fresh Take: Lara Love Hardin

Once your kids are a little bit older, can you be dropped into the madness of having little ones again without missing a beat? Apparently not - here's what Margaret learned after a brief season of tending to little kids again.Amy and Margaret discuss: The stakes of babysitting versus parenting All the little things we block out once our kids are more independent How times stretches out forever when you've got little kids to entertain all day If you're near New Braunfels, Texas, check out the McKenna Children's Museum!We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Once your kids are a little bit older, can you be dropped into the madness of having little ones again without missing a beat? Apparently not - here's what Margaret learned after a brief season of tending to little kids again.Amy and Margaret discuss:<ul> <li>The stakes of babysitting versus parenting</li> <li>All the little things we block out once our kids are more independent</li> <li>How times stretches out forever when you've got little kids to entertain all day</li> </ul> If you're near New Braunfels, Texas, check out the <a href="https://mckennakids.org/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">McKenna Children's Museum</a>! We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:<a href="https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/</a> Learn more about your ad choices. Visit <a href="https://megaphone.fm/adchoices" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">megaphone.fm/adchoices</a>

We Forgot What Little Kids Were Like

Why is it that summer never seems to be the picture-perfect, sun-washed experience we want for our kids? Amy helps a listener ditch her mom guilt over not providing her kids with the "perfect" summer."I have the end of summer scaries. Or end of summer mom guilt. I feel so bummed that I have spent most of the summer in survival mode instead of really enjoying it with my children. I probably have seen way too many of those "you only get 18 summers" posts. My oldest starts first grade in two weeks and I feel like I completely failed. I wish we had spent more time swimming, riding bikes, all of that quintessential summer stuff. Instead, I feel like I've spent most of it breaking up fights with his 4 year old brother, keeping the 18 month old from injuring himself, and saying "no" to every request. I'm notoriously hard on myself so I probably just need a reality check. Does anyone else feel this way?"It's totally normal to feel like the summer is a more difficult time of year, especially with three little kids to entertain, Amy explains. There are more hours of daylight and more unstructured time.And, by the way, your kids don't vaporize once they turn 18, and if they're away at college, summer is when you WILL see them, at least somewhat more than you did during the school year. Try to decouple yourself from the overwhelming "you only get 18 summers with your kids" messaging. It robs you of the ability to remain present THIS summer with your kids.So how do you try and be present with your kids without worrying about how many summers you have left in the bank? Start super small. Declare that it's "ice cream dinner" tonight or let the kids cover the driveway in chalk drawings. The "summer memories" we're supposed to be making are by definition lazy and unstructured. And those little things we may think are nothing special are probably what our kids will look back on most fondly.Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning free diapers. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Why is it that summer never seems to be the picture-perfect, sun-washed experience we want for our kids? Amy helps a listener ditch her mom guilt over not providing her kids with the "perfect" summer."I have the end of summer scaries. Or end of summer mom guilt. I feel so bummed that I have spent most of the summer in survival mode instead of really enjoying it with my children. I probably have seen way too many of those "you only get 18 summers" posts. My oldest starts first grade in two weeks and I feel like I completely failed. I wish we had spent more time swimming, riding bikes, all of that quintessential summer stuff. Instead, I feel like I've spent most of it breaking up fights with his 4 year old brother, keeping the 18 month old from injuring himself, and saying "no" to every request. I'm notoriously hard on myself so I probably just need a reality check. Does anyone else feel this way?"It's totally normal to feel like the summer is a more difficult time of year, especially with three little kids to entertain, Amy explains. There are more hours of daylight and more unstructured time.And, by the way, your kids don't vaporize once they turn 18, and if they're away at college, summer is when you WILL see them, at least somewhat more than you did during the school year. Try to decouple yourself from the overwhelming "you only get 18 summers with your kids" messaging. It robs you of the ability to remain present THIS summer with your kids.So how do you try and be present with your kids without worrying about how many summers you have left in the bank? Start super small. Declare that it's "ice cream dinner" tonight or let the kids cover the driveway in chalk drawings. The "summer memories" we're supposed to be making are by definition lazy and unstructured. And those little things we may think are nothing special are probably what our kids will look back on most fondly.Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. <a href="https://www.pampers.com/en-us" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Download the Pampers Club App today</a> to start earning free diapers. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit <a href="https://megaphone.fm/adchoices" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">megaphone.fm/adchoices</a>

Ask Amy: I've Already Got the End-of-Summer Scaries

How can we place reasonable limits on our kids' screen time— and how do we know what's reasonable? Ash Brandin, better known on Instagram as @TheGamerEducator, brings their experience as an educator (and gamer) to help families better understand and manage technology in ways that can benefit the entire family.In this episode, we discuss: why screens are "value neutral," and why their educational merit is derived more from how screens are being used the one question we should ask ourselves to know whether screens are okay in a given moment how to raise kids who will be able to set their own parameters around screens and gaming once we're no longer there to harass them Here's where you can find Ash:  TheGamerEducator.com @TheGamerEducator on IG We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How can we place reasonable limits on our kids' screen time— and how do we know what's reasonable? <a href="https://thegamereducator.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Ash Brandin</a>, better known on Instagram as @TheGamerEducator, brings their experience as an educator (and gamer) to help families better understand and manage technology in ways that can benefit the entire family.In this episode, we discuss:<ul> <li>why screens are "value neutral," and why their educational merit is derived more from how screens are being used</li> <li>the one question we should ask ourselves to know whether screens are okay in a given moment</li> <li>how to raise kids who will be able to set their own parameters around screens and gaming once we're no longer there to harass them</li> </ul> Here's where you can find Ash: <ul> <li><a href="https://TheGamerEducator.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">TheGamerEducator.com</a></li> <li>@TheGamerEducator on IG</li> </ul> We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:<a href="https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/</a> Learn more about your ad choices. Visit <a href="https://megaphone.fm/adchoices" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">megaphone.fm/adchoices</a>

Fresh Take: Ash Brandin, The Gamer Educator

Teaching kids about how money works feels ever more important in a world where we pay for things by waving our phones, and where a couple of taps brings us anything we want to our doorstep twenty-four hours later.Sometimes we feel like protecting our kids from the realities of our financial situations is what is most appropriate. But somewhere along the way we can start teaching kids financial literacy by making our family decisions around money concrete and transparent.In this episode we discuss: our children's many "blind spots" around money and spending (and what were once our own) the differences in spending when people use credit cards versus cash how to discuss your family's "money values" in terms of what you are (and are not) willing to spend Here are some links to resources mentioned in the episode:  @bethkobliner on Twitter BusyKid: What Your Child Can Understand About Money, Age by Age  Beth Kobliner for PBS News Hour: Money habits are set by age 7. Teach your kids the value of a dollar now  Jana B. Woodhouse for How Money Works: Can You Teach Your Kids How Money Works? (Yes!)  Shereen Marisol Meraji and Andee Tagle for NPR's Life Kit: Want to teach your kids about money? Start by including them in the conversation  Johnathan G. Conzelmann and T. Austin Lacy for Brookings: Financial and student loan (il)literacy among US college students  Our episode "Should We Pay Our Kids To Clean Our Rooms?"  Our Fresh Take with Bobbi Rebell Check us out on YouTube!We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Teaching kids about how money works feels ever more important in a world where we pay for things by waving our phones, and where a couple of taps brings us anything we want to our doorstep twenty-four hours later.Sometimes we feel like protecting our kids from the realities of our financial situations is what is most appropriate. But somewhere along the way we can start teaching kids financial literacy by making our family decisions around money concrete and transparent.In this episode we discuss:<ul> <li>our children's many "blind spots" around money and spending (and what were once our own)</li> <li>the differences in spending when people use credit cards versus cash</li> <li>how to discuss your family's "money values" in terms of what you are (and are not) willing to spend</li> </ul> Here are some links to resources mentioned in the episode: <ul> <li>@bethkobliner on Twitter</li> <li>BusyKid: <a href="https://busykid.com/what-your-child-can-understand-about-money-age-by-age/#:~:text=Ages%204%20to%206%3A%20How,concepts%20of%20value%20and%20prices" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">What Your Child Can Understand About Money, Age by Age</a> </li> <li>Beth Kobliner for PBS News Hour: <a href="https://www.pbs.org/newshour/economy/making-sense/money-habits-are-set-by-age-7-teach-your-kids-the-value-of-a-dollar-now" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Money habits are set by age 7. Teach your kids the value of a dollar now</a> </li> <li>Jana B. Woodhouse for How Money Works: <a href="https://howmoneyworks.com/janab/blog/can-you-teach-your-kids-how-money-works" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Can You Teach Your Kids How Money Works? (Yes!)</a> </li> <li>Shereen Marisol Meraji and Andee Tagle for NPR's Life Kit: <a href="https://www.npr.org/2021/07/27/1021262899/finance-money-tips-kids-families-conversations" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Want to teach your kids about money? Start by including them in the conversation</a> </li> <li>Johnathan G. Conzelmann and T. Austin Lacy for Brookings: <a href="https://www.brookings.edu/articles/financial-and-student-loan-illiteracy-among-us-college-students/#:~:text=Overall%2C" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Financial and student loan (il)literacy among US college students</a> </li> <li>Our episode <a href="https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/should-we-pay-our-kids-to-clean-their-rooms/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">"Should We Pay Our Kids To Clean Our Rooms?"</a> </li> <li><a href="https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/bobbi-rebell-on-raising-financially-aware-kids/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Our Fresh Take with Bobbi Rebell</a></li> </ul> <a href="https://www.youtube.com/@WhatFreshHellPodcast" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Check us out on YouTube!</a> We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:<a href="https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/</a> Learn more about your ad choices. Visit <a href="https://megaphone.fm/adchoices" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">megaphone.fm/adchoices</a>

Teaching Kids About Money

How do you host relatives in your home in a loving and generous way without becoming overwhelmed? Margaret explains that hosts, not guests, get to make the rules for timing and length of their visits.A listener asked:Do you have any ground rules or tips and tricks for having family come stay with you? My husband and I live interstate between both of our families of origin, so if they visit, they stay with us. We don't live in a large house and we're finding the line between hospitality and what we can handle hard to draw. How can we simplify our approach? When people come to your house, it's perfectly acceptable to set ground rules that represent roughly 50% of what you need/want, and 50% of what your guests would prefer. Ultimately, though, it's your house, so you have veto power should a disagreement arise.You have the right to decide when and how long people come to stay with you. You may get pushback from relatives, but you are within your rights to gently decline their requests. That being said, operate from your maximum place of generosity and do your best to accommodate the people who raised you/your spouse and want to be in their grandkids' lives.Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning free diapers. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How do you host relatives in your home in a loving and generous way without becoming overwhelmed? Margaret explains that hosts, not guests, get to make the rules for timing and length of their visits.A listener asked:Do you have any ground rules or tips and tricks for having family come stay with you? My husband and I live interstate between both of our families of origin, so if they visit, they stay with us. We don't live in a large house and we're finding the line between hospitality and what we can handle hard to draw. How can we simplify our approach? When people come to your house, it's perfectly acceptable to set ground rules that represent roughly 50% of what you need/want, and 50% of what your guests would prefer. Ultimately, though, it's your house, so you have veto power should a disagreement arise.You have the right to decide when and how long people come to stay with you. You may get pushback from relatives, but you are within your rights to gently decline their requests. That being said, operate from your maximum place of generosity and do your best to accommodate the people who raised you/your spouse and want to be in their grandkids' lives. Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. <a href="https://www.pampers.com/en-us" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Download the Pampers Club App today</a> to start earning free diapers. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit <a href="https://megaphone.fm/adchoices" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">megaphone.fm/adchoices</a>

Ask Margaret: Ground Rules for House Guests

Hosted by funny moms Margaret Ables and Amy Wilson, “What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood” is a comedy podcast about the never-ending "fresh hells" of parenting.Amy and Margaret are each moms of three, dealing with the same hassles as any parent, but with completely different parenting styles. Margaret is laid-back to the max; Amy never met a spreadsheet she didn't like.We offer three episodes each week:"Question of the Week" mini-episodes on Mondaysregular weekly episodes on Wednesdays"Fresh Take" interview with experts and authors on FridaysJoin us as we laugh in the face of motherhood!What Fresh Hell is a Webby Honoree for Best Podcast: Kids and Family, a finalist for a Signal Award, the winner of Mom 2.0 Iris Awards for "Best Podcast" and "Most Entertaining Content," and a Podcast Awards People’s Choice for "Best Family and Parenting Podcast.whatfreshhellpodcast.com

This podcast and the corresponding Facebook community are so lovely!

Love this community!

Thank you ladies for your hard work on this show. I look forward to it every week!

A reprieve from the slog

Hosted by funny moms Margaret Ables and Amy Wilson, “What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood” is a comedy podcast about the never-ending "fresh hells" of parenting. Amy and Margaret are each moms of three, dealing with the same hassles as any parent, but with completely different parenting styles. Margaret is laid-back to the max; Amy never met a spreadsheet she didn't like. We offer three episodes each week: "Question of the Week" mini-episodes on Mondays regular weekly episodes on Wednesdays "Fresh Take" interview with experts and authors on Fridays Join us as we laugh in the face of motherhood! What Fresh Hell is a Webby Honoree for Best Podcast: Kids and Family, a finalist for a Signal Award, the winner of Mom 2.0 Iris Awards for "Best Podcast" and "Most Entertaining Content," and a Podcast Awards People’s Choice for "Best Family and Parenting Podcast. <a href="http://whatfreshhellpodcast.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">whatfreshhellpodcast.com</a>

What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood

Take our listener survey! Here's the link: https://bit.ly/whatfreshhellsurveyThe best way to handle our children’s anger is to equip them with the tools to handle it themselves. You don’t have to smother children's emotions in order to calm them down; as your kids get older, you really can't. But you don’t need to throw up your hands and accommodate their anger and everything that comes with it, either.We talk at length in this episode about an excellent book for kids on this topic: “What To Do When Your Temper Flares: A Kid’s Guide To Overcoming Problems With Anger.”by Dawn Huebner. The book is aimed at grade-schoolers, but there’s much to learn in here for kids of all ages (and their parents)! Whether your kid is 4 or 14, this episode will help you stand outside their storms and get your calm house back a little sooner. If you’d like a transcript of this episode, you can find it here: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/2020/01/angermanagementtranscript/,If you’d like to do a deep-dive on anger management for parents, check out our “Sometimes We Lose It” episode here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Take our listener survey! Here's the link: <a href="https://bit.ly/whatfreshhellsurvey" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://bit.ly/whatfreshhellsurvey</a>The best way to handle our children’s anger is to equip them with the tools to handle it themselves. You don’t have to smother children's emotions in order to calm them down; as your kids get older, you really can't. But you don’t need to throw up your hands and accommodate their anger and everything that comes with it, either.We talk at length in this episode about an excellent book for kids on this topic: <a href="https://amzn.to/2QVng2x" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">“What To Do When Your Temper Flares: A Kid’s Guide To Overcoming Problems With Anger.”</a>by Dawn Huebner. The book is aimed at grade-schoolers, but there’s much to learn in here for kids of all ages (and their parents)! Whether your kid is 4 or 14, this episode will help you stand outside their storms and get your calm house back a little sooner. If you’d like a transcript of this episode, you can find it <a href="http://bit.ly/WFHanger" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>: <a href="https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/?p=1607&amp;preview=true" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/2020/01/angermanagementtranscript/</a>,If you’d like to do a deep-dive on anger management for parents, check out our “Sometimes We Lose It” episode <a href="https://link.chtbl.com/C4hTahrW" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit <a href="https://megaphone.fm/adchoices" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">megaphone.fm/adchoices</a>

Anger Management for Kids

We won’t lie to you- we probably spend more time than we should thinking about what we weigh. Which is, admittedly, variable. But while we think about what we weigh plenty when we’re unhappy with what the scale says, we spend even more of our bandwidth on it in order to get to the number we have decided is arbitrarily acceptable (and then fight a losing battle to stay there). Something’s not right about that. But we suspect we aren’t alone— especially among mothers, who have seen our bodies change forever with pregnancy and childbirth, and then never quite change back.  What if we didn’t care? Okay: what if we cared just a little bit less? In this episode we talk about feeling good, and looking good, and how to maybe put a little bit of daylight between the two.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We won’t lie to you- we probably spend more time than we should thinking about what we weigh. Which is, admittedly, variable. But while we think about what we weigh plenty when we’re unhappy with what the scale says, we spend even more of our bandwidth on it in order to get to the number we have decided is arbitrarily acceptable (and then fight a losing battle to stay there). Something’s not right about that. But we suspect we aren’t alone— especially among mothers, who have seen our bodies change forever with pregnancy and childbirth, and then never quite change back.  What if we didn’t care? Okay: what if we cared just a little bit less? In this episode we talk about feeling good, and looking good, and how to maybe put a little bit of daylight between the two.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit <a href="https://megaphone.fm/adchoices" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">megaphone.fm/adchoices</a>

Let’s Not Care About What We Weigh

Have you a short fat dictator in your home? Do you cower before a 24-pound child demanding pizza– no, not THAT kind of pizza! the other kind, the kind she likes NOW, which apparently has neither sauce nor cheese? What is *UP* with toddlers? In this episode we discuss  * why toddlers’ tantrums may have, at least at one time, been biologically necessary why taking your toddler’s french toast sticks away makes him feel like he’s suddenly swimming alone in open ocean how expecting a toddler to be “magically cute” is extremely problematic why, if you really must ice-skate with a toddler, you must always, always take your own skates off first  And here’s links to some fascinating research, helpful tips, and funny toddler stuff we reference: Kate Gammon for Popular Science: Birth Of Memory: Why Kids Forget What Happened Before Age 7Patrick Sauer for Fatherly: What’s Going On Inside A Toddler’s Brain, According To ScienceAlison Gopnik’s TED talk: What Do Babies Think? Mo Willems and his perfect description of how a toddler goes “boneless”Toddlerography with James Corden and Jennifer Lopez…and from England’s First Steps Research, a study indicating that a toddler’s daily caloric output is the equivalent of going 83 rounds in a boxing ring.This episode also features our interview with Heather Spohr, co-author of the new book The Toddler Survival Guide: Complete Protection From the Whiny Unfed. Spohr’s book is hilarious *and* has practical advice (our favorite combo) for surviving the inevitable onslaught of the Toddler Apocalypse in your own household. Take heart, and plan ahead.     Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you a short fat dictator in your home? Do you cower before a 24-pound child demanding pizza– no, not THAT kind of pizza! the other kind, the kind she likes NOW, which apparently has neither sauce nor cheese? What is *UP* with toddlers? In this episode we discuss  * why toddlers’ tantrums may have, at least at one time, been biologically necessary why taking your toddler’s french toast sticks away makes him feel like he’s suddenly swimming alone in open ocean how expecting a toddler to be “magically cute” is extremely problematic why, if you really must ice-skate with a toddler, you must always, always take your own skates off first  And here’s links to some fascinating research, helpful tips, and funny toddler stuff we reference: Kate Gammon for Popular Science: <a href="https://www.popsci.com/blog-network/kinderlab/birth-memory-why-kids-forget-what-happened-age-7" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Birth Of Memory: Why Kids Forget What Happened Before Age 7</a>Patrick Sauer for Fatherly: <a href="https://www.fatherly.com/health-science/toddler-brain-neurology/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">What’s Going On Inside A Toddler’s Brain, According To Science</a>Alison Gopnik’s TED talk: <a href="https://www.ted.com/talks/alison_gopnik_what_do_babies_think" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">What Do Babies Think? </a>Mo Willems and his perfect description of how a toddler <a href="http://mowillemsdoodles.blogspot.com/2007/12/boneless.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">goes “boneless”</a><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K5aVRDE_Qno" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Toddlerography</a> with James Corden and Jennifer Lopez…and from England’s First Steps Research, a study indicating that a toddler’s daily caloric output is the equivalent of going <a href="http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2163173/Toddlers-daily-antics-equivalent-doing-83-rounds-boxing-ring.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">83 rounds in a boxing ring.</a> This episode also features our interview with <a href="http://thespohrsaremultiplying.com/#axzz53dDJy5Bp" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Heather Spohr</a>, co-author of the new book <a href="http://amzn.to/2D7ckrn" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">The Toddler Survival Guide: Complete Protection From the Whiny Unfed</a>. Spohr’s book is hilarious *and* has practical advice (our favorite combo) for surviving the inevitable onslaught of the Toddler Apocalypse in your own household. Take heart, and plan ahead. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit <a href="https://megaphone.fm/adchoices" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">megaphone.fm/adchoices</a>

What is Up With Toddlers?

What’s the best mom advice you ever received? We asked our listeners and got a wide range of responses. Some aimed for the eternal perspective: The days are long, but the years are short.  Some were more practically applicable: Don’t ever bring a vomiting child into your bed. (Truer words were never spoken, Stacy.) In this episode break down the best advice we ever received for parenting babies, toddlers, kids and teens. Here’s one essay we reference in the episode: Jenny Anderson for NYT’s Motherlode: Seeing Tantrums as Distress, Not DefianceThanks to everyone who contributed their mom words to live by!Announcing our next live show! What Fresh Hell is coming to The Theater at North in Scranton, PA (Amy’s hometown) on Thursday, April 19th. The performance is a benefit in memory of Lindsay Doherty and will benefit the St. Joseph’s Center Baby and Children Pantry (one of Lindsay’s favorite causes). Join us for a night of many laughs and a celebration of Lindsay’s life! Tickets are available here.      Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What’s the best mom advice you ever received? We asked our listeners and got a wide range of responses. Some aimed for the eternal perspective: The days are long, but the years are short.  Some were more practically applicable: Don’t ever bring a vomiting child into your bed. (Truer words were never spoken, Stacy.) In this episode break down the best advice we ever received for parenting babies, toddlers, kids and teens. Here’s one essay we reference in the episode: Jenny Anderson for NYT’s Motherlode: <a href="https://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/10/30/seeing-tantrums-as-distress-not-defiance/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Seeing Tantrums as Distress, Not Defiance</a>Thanks to everyone who contributed their mom words to live by!Announcing our <a href="https://bit.ly/WFHscranton" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">next live show!</a> What Fresh Hell is coming to <a href="http://thetheateratnorth.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">The Theater at North</a> in Scranton, PA (Amy’s hometown) on Thursday, April 19th. The performance is a benefit in memory of <a href="http://thetimes-tribune.com/news/lindsay-doherty-remembered-for-boundless-energy-selflessness-1.2175829" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Lindsay Doherty</a> and will benefit the <a href="https://www.stjosephscenter.org/pregnancyandfamily/babypantry/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">St. Joseph’s Center Baby and Children Pantry</a> (one of Lindsay’s favorite causes). Join us for a night of many laughs and a celebration of Lindsay’s life! Tickets are available <a href="https://bit.ly/WFHscranton" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit <a href="https://megaphone.fm/adchoices" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">megaphone.fm/adchoices</a>

The Best Mom Advice We Ever Got

Wendy Mogel

It’s easy for most parents to explain what’s wrong with how our kids speak to us: the snark, sarcasm, and eye-rolling are all things we could use a lot less of.  But could the way we talk to our kids use a little fine-tuning as well?  Dr. Wendy Mogel’s latest book, Voice Lessons for Parents: What to Say, How to Say It, and When To Listen, is just out in paperback. In this episode, Dr. Wendy Mogel tells us how to bridge the ever-more-complicated communication gap between parents and children, no matter what age our kids are. Over the last two years we've quoted Dr. Mogel more than any other parenting expert, and no surprise- this interview is full of "aha moments" and great ideas. You can read and download the full transcript here.And if you still need a little convincing that we should be focusing on the faults with our own parental communication, rather than the shortcomings of our children’s techniques, consider this quote from another classic of parenting advice, How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk: "Rather than blaming your kids for all your parenting grief, you can improve communication with them by making a few changes to the way you speak to them and set the tone of a situation. Listening, sharing feelings, and respecting your kids will make your job as a parent far easier.” Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It’s easy for most parents to explain what’s wrong with how our kids speak to us: the snark, sarcasm, and eye-rolling are all things we could use a lot less of.  But could the way we talk to our kids use a little fine-tuning as well?  Dr. Wendy Mogel’s latest book, <a href="https://amzn.to/2XfU8od" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Voice Lessons for Parents: What to Say, How to Say It, and When To Listen,</a> is just out in paperback. In this episode, Dr. Wendy Mogel tells us how to bridge the ever-more-complicated communication gap between parents and children, no matter what age our kids are. Over the last two years we've quoted Dr. Mogel more than any other parenting expert, and no surprise- this interview is full of "aha moments" and great ideas. You can read and download the full transcript <a href="https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/2019/04/interview-with-dr-wendy-mogel-ph-d-transcript-and-recording/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>.And if you still need a little convincing that we should be focusing on the faults with our own parental communication, rather than the shortcomings of our children’s techniques, consider this quote from another classic of parenting advice, <a href="https://amzn.to/2Zb3jIp" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk: </a>"Rather than blaming your kids for all your parenting grief, you can improve communication with them by making a few changes to the way you speak to them and set the tone of a situation. Listening, sharing feelings, and respecting your kids will make your job as a parent far easier.” Learn more about your ad choices. Visit <a href="https://megaphone.fm/adchoices" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">megaphone.fm/adchoices</a>

Changing How We Talk To Our Kids (with guest Dr. Wendy Mogel)

In a world where kids get big praise for hitting their developmental milestones ahead of schedule- he sat up before six months! She was talking in sentences before her second birthday!- there are still times and places to let kids be little. Letting kids be little means maybe they are wiggly worms when you'd like them to be sitting still. Letting kids be little means letting them come back and touch base with you, and then leave, and come back, and then leave, and come back.Letting kids be little means letting them still have those things that the world says they’re too big for. It means encouraging them to do and to have what they love, even if it isn't cool.Here’s how we try to let our kids be little, and how it has made our kids’ lives (and ours) more joyful.We find that we have the most fun in our families when we're the silliest-and when we let the kids be the littlest.Here are links to research and other writing we discuss in this episode:Dr. Ned Hallowell for Parents League: Protecting ChildhoodMeredith Ethington for Scary Mommy: I Finally Get What They Mean By ‘Let Them Be Little’Dr. Perri Klass for The New York Times: Offering Kids a Taste of Alcohol Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In a world where kids get big praise for hitting their developmental milestones ahead of schedule- he sat up before six months! She was talking in sentences before her second birthday!- there are still times and places to let kids be little. Letting kids be little means maybe they are wiggly worms when you'd like them to be sitting still. Letting kids be little means letting them come back and touch base with you, and then leave, and come back, and then leave, and come back.Letting kids be little means letting them still have those things that the world says they’re too big for. It means encouraging them to do and to have what they love, even if it isn't cool.Here’s how we try to let our kids be little, and how it has made our kids’ lives (and ours) more joyful.We find that we have the most fun in our families when we're the silliest-and when we let the kids be the littlest. Here are links to research and other writing we discuss in this episode:Dr. Ned Hallowell for Parents League: <a href="https://www.parentsleague.org/blog/protecting-childhood" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Protecting Childhood</a>Meredith Ethington for Scary Mommy: <a href="https://www.scarymommy.com/what-let-them-be-little-really-means/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">I Finally Get What They Mean By ‘Let Them Be Little’</a>Dr. Perri Klass for The New York Times: <a href="https://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2016/04/25/offering-kids-a-taste-of-alcohol/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Offering Kids a Taste of Alcohol</a> Learn more about your ad choices. Visit <a href="https://megaphone.fm/adchoices" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">megaphone.fm/adchoices</a>

Letting Kids Be Little

Eve Rodsky

The "invisible workload" has become shorthand for the never-ending to-do list that moms keep in our heads-- because much of that work is invisible to the people we do it for, let alone the larger world.That work falls to us because moms tend to be the default parent, whatever our outside-the-home workload (or that of our spouses) might be. Are you the one who leaves work when the baby throws up at day care? Do you know which closet the wrapping paper is in- and if you're almost out? Is it your calendar that keeps track of when your kid has to bring the snack for soccer? Yup, us too.Most of us get majorly resentful about this invisible work. Some of us make lists of it all (to make it more visible). Those lists make us mad. Not very much changes. We start to think that this is just the way it has to be.But we don't have to fall for the old chestnut that women are just better at multitasking, and so we might as well keep doing it all. As professor of neurogenetics Dr. Pat Levitt explains:"I don't know of any research that shows women are better multitaskers than men. In fact, multitasking is bad for everyone because our brains are not built to deal with more than one complex thing at a time."This week's guest tells us how to effect actual change in our household distribution of labor by putting new systems in place that work for everyone. Eve Rodsky is author of the new book Fair Play: A Game-Changing Solution For When You Have Too Much To Do (And More Life To Live), and she's showing us all a path forward to create the relationships and households that we deserve. Don't miss this interview! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The "invisible workload" has become shorthand for the never-ending to-do list that moms keep in our heads-- because much of that work is invisible to the people we do it for, let alone the larger world.That work falls to us because moms tend to be the default parent, whatever our outside-the-home workload (or that of our spouses) might be. Are you the one who leaves work when the baby throws up at day care? Do you know which closet the wrapping paper is in- and if you're almost out? Is it your calendar that keeps track of when your kid has to bring the snack for soccer? Yup, us too.Most of us get majorly resentful about this invisible work. Some of us make lists of it all (to make it more visible). Those lists make us mad. Not very much changes. We start to think that this is just the way it has to be.But we don't have to fall for the old chestnut that women are just better at multitasking, and so we might as well keep doing it all. As professor of neurogenetics Dr. Pat Levitt explains:"<a href="https://www.sciencealert.com/women-aren-t-better-multitaskers-than-men-they-re-just-doing-more-work" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">I don't know of any research that shows women are better multitaskers than men. In fact, multitasking is bad for everyone because our brains are not built to deal with more than one complex thing at a time</a>."This week's guest tells us how to effect actual change in our household distribution of labor by putting new systems in place that work for everyone. Eve Rodsky is author of the new book <a href="https://amzn.to/31GgqkN" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Fair Play: A Game-Changing Solution For When You Have Too Much To Do (And More Life To Live)</a>, and she's showing us all a path forward to create the relationships and households that we deserve. Don't miss this interview! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit <a href="https://megaphone.fm/adchoices" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">megaphone.fm/adchoices</a>

Changing the Invisible Workload (with guest Eve Rodsky)

We asked the listeners to tell us their extremely minor annoyances of motherhood-- the smaller and more seemingly inconsequential, the better, because it turns out those are things that really make us loco. From soggy bath toys, to pushing swings, to the toddler who spins around and offers the wrong arm to be put into the held-up coat sleeve, here are many of the teeny-tiny things that drive moms insane. Join the fun on our Facebook page!  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We asked the listeners to tell us their <a href="https://www.facebook.com/whatfreshhellcast/posts/2774079992604421" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">extremely minor annoyances of motherhood</a>-- the smaller and more seemingly inconsequential, the better, because it turns out those are things that really make us loco. From soggy bath toys, to pushing swings, to the toddler who spins around and offers the wrong arm to be put into the held-up coat sleeve, here are many of the teeny-tiny things that drive moms insane. Join the fun on our <a href="http://facebook.com/whatfreshhellcast" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Facebook page</a>! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit <a href="https://megaphone.fm/adchoices" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">megaphone.fm/adchoices</a>

The Small Things That Drive Moms Insane

What makes a “go-to dinner”? One pot is good. 30 minutes or less is better. But we’ll use every cookie sheet and pot in the house if it’s 1) not pizza and 2) all of our kids will actually eat it. Here’s links to all of our own go-to recipes that we discuss in this episode, plus the ones our listeners swear by: Margaret’s Go-To Dinners Beef Empanadas (use refrigerated pie crust for the dough)Green Soup (Margaret adds chicken)Slow Cooker Pork Shoulder Savory Muffins and, believe it or not, Lobster Thermidor (Lego Batman’s favorite, natch)Amy’s Go-To DinnersRoasted Broccoli with Shrimp (ten minutes, one pan. If you don’t have the spices, skip em.)Sheet Pan FajitasTaco Night (this is a super-easy recipe from Laura Fuentes)Our Listeners’ Child-Approved MealsRebecca’s Loaded Potato SoupMollie’s Chickpea Tikka MasalaDiane’s Asian Noodles (kudos to this brilliant bit of improvisation):and Nancy’s Spanish Rice (thanks, Amy’s mom!)Here’s some of our favorite places to get go-to dinner inspiration :Amy’s sister loves the Weelicious websiteMargaret’s favorite cookbook: America’s Test Kitchen: The Best Simple RecipesAmy’s favorite recipe app: Treehouse Table And our new obsession! Our podcast’s latest sponsor: HelloFresh. HelloFresh delivers weekly recipes and fresh ingredients straight to your doorstep. Last night Amy made their Veggie-Loaded Orzo with Sausage. Margaret and her husband made the Chicken Cheddar Fajitas. People, they were devoured. No planning, no shopping, no complaining. We are huge fans! We think you should try HelloFresh for your family-and you can get $30 off your first HelloFresh delivery by going to hellofresh.com and entering the code mother30.What’s your go-to dinner? Tell us in the comments or on our Facebook page!    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What makes a “go-to dinner”? One pot is good. 30 minutes or less is better. But we’ll use every cookie sheet and pot in the house if it’s 1) not pizza and 2) all of our kids will actually eat it. Here’s links to all of our own go-to recipes that we discuss in this episode, plus the ones our listeners swear by: Margaret’s Go-To Dinners <a href="http://www.madeinmykitchen.com/2013/12/atk-beef-empanadas.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Beef Empanadas</a> (use refrigerated pie crust for the dough)<a href="http://www.oprah.com/food/broccoli-leek-soup" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Green Soup</a> (Margaret adds chicken)<a href="http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/melissa-darabian/all-purpose-pork-shoulder-recipe-2120448" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Slow Cooker Pork Shoulder </a><a href="https://www.brit.co/savory-muffin-recipes/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Savory Muffins </a>and, believe it or not, <a href="https://www.epicurious.com/recipes/food/views/lobster-thermidor-105507" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Lobster Thermidor</a> (<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v4knOAb3RxY" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Lego Batman’s favorite</a>, natch)Amy’s Go-To Dinners<a href="https://cooking.nytimes.com/recipes/1012388-roasted-broccoli-with-shrimp" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Roasted Broccoli with Shrimp</a> (ten minutes, one pan. If you don’t have the spices, skip em.)<a href="https://www.williams-sonoma.com/recipe/sheet-pan-fajitas.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Sheet Pan Fajitas</a><a href="http://www.laurafuentes.com/easy-taco-night-recipe/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Taco Night</a> (this is a super-easy recipe from <a href="https://laurafuentes.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Laura Fuentes</a>)Our Listeners’ Child-Approved MealsRebecca’s <a href="https://www.bettycrocker.com/recipes/loaded-potato-soup/0a2b9654-d0e5-4fee-9ce6-fad521e6041a" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Loaded Potato Soup</a>Mollie’s <a href="https://www.foodiewithfamily.com/chickpea-tikka-masala/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Chickpea Tikka Masala</a>Diane’s Asian Noodles (kudos to this brilliant bit of improvisation): and Nancy’s Spanish Rice (thanks, Amy’s mom!) Here’s some of our favorite places to get go-to dinner inspiration :Amy’s sister loves the <a href="https://weelicious.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Weelicious</a> websiteMargaret’s favorite cookbook: <a href="http://amzn.to/2DE1E6o" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">America’s Test Kitchen: The Best Simple Recipes</a>Amy’s favorite recipe app: <a href="http://www.thetreehouseapp.com/table/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Treehouse Table </a>And our new obsession! Our podcast’s latest sponsor: <a href="https://hellofresh.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HelloFresh</a>. HelloFresh delivers weekly recipes and fresh ingredients straight to your doorstep. Last night Amy made their <a href="https://www.hellofresh.com/recipes/veggie-loaded-orzo-and-sausage-5a2969c9c9fd08437833bd62?locale=en-US" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Veggie-Loaded Orzo with Sausage</a>. Margaret and her husband made the <a href="https://www.hellofresh.com/recipes/chicken-cheddar-fajitas-5a2969617cc0c121362251f2?locale=en-US" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Chicken Cheddar Fajitas</a>. People, they were devoured. No planning, no shopping, no complaining. We are huge fans! We think you should try HelloFresh for your family-and you can get $30 off your first HelloFresh delivery by going to <a href="http://hellofresh.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">hellofresh.com</a> and entering the code mother30.What’s your go-to dinner? Tell us in the comments or on our Facebook page! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit <a href="https://megaphone.fm/adchoices" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">megaphone.fm/adchoices</a>

Go-To Dinners

Does self-care mean ice cream? Facial serums? Leaning in? Saying no? Taking yoga? According to our listeners, it means all of the above.In this episode, we talk both about how to arrive at your personal definition of self-care, and how to prioritize it, so your self-care practice will be there for you when you need it. You can't just meditate extra on the day your kids both get the stomach flu. Self-care is a program you kind of need to have running in the background all the time.Here are links to research and other writing on the topic that we discuss in this episode:Jacqueline Baker for The Mighty: When Self-Care Means Saying 'No'Tim Herrera for NYT Smarter Living: How to Make ‘Self-Care’ Actually Feel Like Self-CareJenny Odell: How To Do Nothing: Resisting the Attention EconomyDeanna Zandt: The Unspoken Complexity of 'Self-Care'Claire Zulkey for Romper: The Hardest Thing To Do Is 'Less' Of All That Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Does self-care mean ice cream? Facial serums? Leaning in? Saying no? Taking yoga? According to our listeners, it means all of the above.In this episode, we talk both about how to arrive at your personal definition of self-care, and how to prioritize it, so your self-care practice will be there for you when you need it. You can't just meditate extra on the day your kids both get the stomach flu. Self-care is a program you kind of need to have running in the background all the time.Here are links to research and other writing on the topic that we discuss in this episode:Jacqueline Baker for The Mighty: <a href="https://themighty.com/2017/06/self-care-and-saying-no/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">When Self-Care Means Saying 'No'</a>Tim Herrera for NYT Smarter Living: <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2019/11/03/smarter-living/self-care-routines-that-actually-help.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">How to Make ‘Self-Care’ Actually Feel Like Self-Care</a>Jenny Odell: <a href="https://amzn.to/335ULVy" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">How To Do Nothing: Resisting the Attention Economy</a>Deanna Zandt: <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/B4fVncWo21s/?hl=en" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">The Unspoken Complexity of 'Self-Care'</a>Claire Zulkey for Romper: <a href="https://www.romper.com/p/the-hardest-thing-to-do-is-less-of-all-that-21747274" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">The Hardest Thing To Do Is 'Less' Of All Tha</a>t Learn more about your ad choices. Visit <a href="https://megaphone.fm/adchoices" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">megaphone.fm/adchoices</a>

Real Self-Care for Moms

This week’s episode is all about screen time. Given: Unlimited screen time is bad. But how much is okay? How much is too much? How do you handle the nightly battles of “But PLEASE, Mom! Just one more level!” when it’s time to unplug? Most importantly: is it ever okay to let our kids’ brains melt just long enough to get dinner finished? In this episode, we talk about how to limit screen time for each age group– toddlers to teens– while acknowledging that screens are an increasing part of our children’s lives, both inside the classroom and out. Since we recorded this episode the American Academy of Pediatrics has lifted its draconian “no screens under two” rule, which we heartily agree with. Encourage parents to make good choices; don’t treat us like idiots who are incapable of exercising judgment. Really, don’t. You wouldn’t like us when we’re angry.Here’s links to other writing and products mentioned in this episode:Resources for when you’re ready to go hard-core* screenfree.org* unpluggedchallenge.com* sabbathmanifesto.org (National Day of Unplugging)* Time Timer Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week’s episode is all about screen time. Given: Unlimited screen time is bad. But how much is okay? How much is too much? How do you handle the nightly battles of “But PLEASE, Mom! Just one more level!” when it’s time to unplug? Most importantly: is it ever okay to let our kids’ brains melt just long enough to get dinner finished? In this episode, we talk about how to limit screen time for each age group– toddlers to teens– while acknowledging that screens are an increasing part of our children’s lives, both inside the classroom and out. Since we recorded this episode the American Academy of Pediatrics has <a href="http://www.npr.org/sections/ed/2016/10/21/498550475/american-academy-of-pediatrics-lifts-no-screens-under-2-rule" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">lifted its draconian “no screens under two” rule</a>, which we heartily agree with. Encourage parents to make good choices; don’t treat us like idiots who are incapable of exercising judgment. Really, don’t. You wouldn’t like us when we’re angry.Here’s links to other writing and products mentioned in this episode:Resources for when you’re ready to go hard-core * <a href="http://screenfree.org" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">screenfree.org</a>* <a href="http://unpluggedchallenge.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">unpluggedchallenge.com</a>* <a href="http://sabbathmanifesto.org" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">sabbathmanifesto.org</a> (National Day of Unplugging)* <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Time-Timer-12-Inch/dp/B002GTZZ6M/ref=pd_bxgy_79_3?_encoding=UTF8&amp;pd_rd_i=B002GTZZ6M&amp;pd_rd_r=64MZ1YGN85HJ4EJH0N0K&amp;pd_rd_w=KX6xd&amp;pd_rd_wg=ZVT4n&amp;refRID=64MZ1YGN85HJ4EJH0N0K&amp;th=1" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Time Timer</a> Learn more about your ad choices. Visit <a href="https://megaphone.fm/adchoices" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">megaphone.fm/adchoices</a>

Screen Time

Anyone else feeling the stress of the summer countdown? It takes a lot of juggling to schedule ten weeks of summer freedom for our kids, and it’s not cheap, either. As a nation we spend about $18 billion on camps and other summer enrichments for our kids every year. That’s nuts. But left to their own devices, our kids will be on their devices. So what’s a parent to do? In this episode we discuss  ways to keep your kids occupied this summer without spending a lot of moneyhow to find the right balance of structure and lazinesshow to create screen-free environments in a world where there aren’t many Here’s where we come out: Plan something. Not too much. Mostly fun.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Anyone else feeling the stress of the summer countdown? It takes a lot of juggling to schedule ten weeks of summer freedom for our kids, and it’s not cheap, either. As a nation <a href="https://www.pymnts.com/news/2016/summer-spending-statistics/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">we spend about $18 billion</a> on camps and other summer enrichments for our kids every year. That’s nuts. But left to their own devices, our kids will be on their devices. So what’s a parent to do? In this episode we discuss  ways to keep your kids occupied this summer without spending a lot of moneyhow to find the right balance of structure and lazinesshow to create screen-free environments in a world where there aren’t many Here’s where we come out: Plan something. Not too much. Mostly fun.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit <a href="https://megaphone.fm/adchoices" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">megaphone.fm/adchoices</a>

Summer Plans

As we round the curve into what’s been a full month of Uno, math worksheets, and never going anywhere, we’ve all learned a few things. Here are our stay-at-home revelations about our homes, our cooking, our relationships, and our kids.We’re undergoing a Big Reset about what our families “need,” whether it’s another box from Amazon, family dinner conversations, or maternal interference in sibling squabbling. The head of school at Amy’s daughter’s elementary school called this moment a “semi-colon for their childhoods.” Some parts of it have been pretty good, actually. Some parts horrible. It’s okay. We don’t have to pretend that this isn’t significant; we just have to do what we can to make it all a little easier.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

As we round the curve into what’s been a full month of Uno, math worksheets, and never going anywhere, we’ve all learned a few things. Here are our stay-at-home revelations about our homes, our cooking, our relationships, and our kids.We’re undergoing a Big Reset about what our families “need,” whether it’s another box from Amazon, family dinner conversations, or maternal interference in sibling squabbling. The head of school at Amy’s daughter’s elementary school called this moment a “semi-colon for their childhoods.” Some parts of it have been pretty good, actually. Some parts horrible. It’s okay. We don’t have to pretend that this isn’t significant; we just have to do what we can to make it all a little easier.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit <a href="https://megaphone.fm/adchoices" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">megaphone.fm/adchoices</a>

Stay-At-Home Revelations: Things We've Learned

When it comes to mom-yelling we hold these truths to be self-evident: never yelling is not possible; less yelling is desirable. Let’s be real: there are times when every parent’s got to yell. Here’s how Lisa Belkin put it in The New York Times:When all else fails, a few claps of oral thunder certainly show that Mom or Dad has had it, that humans can be pushed just so far, and this is what it looks like when you’ve pushed them too much.But although we might agree that a little bit of hollering has its place, we’d both like to do less yelling in our homes, due to two other unavoidable parenting truths:• The more you yell, the more you have to yell.• The more you yell, the more your kids will yell.In this episode, we discuss what we yell about, and then what to do about it. There’s usually an easier solution to what you’re yelling about than yelling, or at least a quieter one. Parenting expert Carolyn Dalgiesh, author of The Sensory Child Gets Organized, calls it a “workaround for the source of tension.” In Amy’s house, for example, an extra set of toothbrushes in the downstairs bathroom cut the morning yelling by half.And sometimes we have to face the fact that parenting without yelling takes a little more effort than parenting with. As Margaret’s sister-in-law likes to say,Really saying ‘no’ means getting off the couch.Here’s some links to other takes on the topic we discuss in this episode:Amy Wilson for Redbook: Could You Go a Week Without Yelling at Your Kids? (spoiler alert: I could not)Hilary Stout for The New York Times: For Some Parents, Shouting is the New SpankingSue Shellenbarger for the Wall Street Journal: Talking to Your Kids After You Yell  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When it comes to mom-yelling we hold these truths to be self-evident: never yelling is not possible; less yelling is desirable. Let’s be real: there are times when every parent’s got to yell. Here’s how <a href="https://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/01/15/can-it-be-good-to-yell-at-your-kids/comment-page-6/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Lisa Belkin</a> put it in The New York Times: When all else fails, a few claps of oral thunder certainly show that Mom or Dad has had it, that humans can be pushed just so far, and this is what it looks like when you’ve pushed them too much. But although we might agree that a little bit of hollering has its place, we’d both like to do less yelling in our homes, due to two other unavoidable parenting truths:• The more you yell, the more you have to yell.• The more you yell, the more your kids will yell.In this episode, we discuss what we yell about, and then what to do about it. There’s usually an easier solution to what you’re yelling about than yelling, or at least a quieter one. Parenting expert Carolyn Dalgiesh, author of <a href="http://amzn.to/2qp1HvW" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">The Sensory Child Gets Organized</a>, calls it a “workaround for the source of tension.” In Amy’s house, for example, an extra set of toothbrushes in the downstairs bathroom cut the morning yelling by half.And sometimes we have to face the fact that parenting without yelling takes a little more effort than parenting with. As Margaret’s sister-in-law likes to say, Really saying ‘no’ means getting off the couch. Here’s some links to other takes on the topic we discuss in this episode: Amy Wilson for Redbook: <a href="http://www.redbookmag.com/life/mom-kids/advice/a6692/yelling-at-children/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Could You Go a Week Without Yelling at Your Kids?</a> (spoiler alert: I could not)Hilary Stout for The New York Times: <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2009/10/22/fashion/22yell.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">For Some Parents, Shouting is the New Spanking</a> Sue Shellenbarger for the Wall Street Journal: <a href="https://www.wsj.com/articles/talking-to-your-child-after-you-yell-1390954159" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Talking to Your Kids After You Yell</a> Learn more about your ad choices. Visit <a href="https://megaphone.fm/adchoices" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">megaphone.fm/adchoices</a>

Yelling Less

Is a mother only as happy as her unhappiest child? In our experience, yeah, pretty much. And studies (referenced below) back that up– although they also suggest many parents also derive their greatest happiness from their child-raising. So how do we separate out our own sense of well-being from our children’s struggles? And in a more everyday sense, how do we find happiness in the daily slog? We talk it out with guest KJ Dell’Antonia, former lead editor of The New York Times’ Motherlode blog and author of the brand-new book How to be a Happier Parent: Raising a Family, Having a Life, and Loving (Almost) Every Minute. KJ says the key is finding simple, concrete solutions for what isn’t working– and letting go of some of the rest.As KJ puts it:When we’re not putting all our energy into getting our kids to eat and study and do everything exactly the way we want them to, we can put it into a much more positive place.Nobody’s saying that you have to live in denial of your kids’ reality. But we think disengaging from our children’s struggles just enough so that our happiness isn’t directly pegged to theirs is the key to happier, more effective parenting.Here’s links to other research and resources discussed in this episode:Jordan Schrader for Alcalde: Parents’ Happiness Linked to Their Least Happy Child’s Claire E. Ashton-James, Kostadin Kushlev, Elizabeth W. Dunn: Parents Reap What They Sow: Child-Centrism and Parental Well-BeingJulie Beck for The Atlantic: Study: Parents Only as Happy as Their Unhappiest Child“Welcome to Holland,” by Emily Perl Kingsleyand Shakespearean voice teacher Patsy Rodenburg’s book The Second Circle, which Amy says has influenced her more than any book she’s ever read. Read its excerpts on parenting here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Is a mother only as happy as her unhappiest child? In our experience, yeah, pretty much. And studies (referenced below) back that up– although they also suggest many parents also derive their greatest happiness from their child-raising. So how do we separate out our own sense of well-being from our children’s struggles? And in a more everyday sense, how do we find happiness in the daily slog? We talk it out with guest <a href="http://kjdellantonia.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">KJ Dell’Antonia</a>, former lead editor of The New York Times’ Motherlode blog and author of the brand-new book <a href="https://amzn.to/2wa796Y" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">How to be a Happier Parent: Raising a Family, Having a Life, and Loving (Almost) Every Minute</a>. KJ says the key is finding simple, concrete solutions for what isn’t working– and letting go of some of the rest.As KJ puts it: When we’re not putting all our energy into getting our kids to eat and study and do everything exactly the way we want them to, we can put it into a much more positive place. Nobody’s saying that you have to live in denial of your kids’ reality. But we think disengaging from our children’s struggles just enough so that our happiness isn’t directly pegged to theirs is the key to happier, more effective parenting.Here’s links to other research and resources discussed in this episode:Jordan Schrader for Alcalde: <a href="http://alcalde.texasexes.org/2011/08/parents-happiness-linked-to-their-least-happy-childs/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Parents’ Happiness Linked to Their Least Happy Child’s </a>Claire E. Ashton-James, Kostadin Kushlev, Elizabeth W. Dunn: <a href="http://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/1948550613479804?journalCode=sppa&amp;" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Parents Reap What They Sow: Child-Centrism and Parental Well-Being</a>Julie Beck for The Atlantic: <a href="https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2013/11/study-parents-only-as-happy-as-their-unhappiest-child/281092/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Study: Parents Only as Happy as Their Unhappiest Child</a><a href="https://www.google.com.jm/search?q=welcome+to+holland&amp;oq=welcome+to+holland&amp;aqs=chrome..69i57j69i60l4j69i65.2757j0j7&amp;sourceid=chrome&amp;ie=UTF-8#" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">“Welcome to Holland,”</a> by Emily Perl Kingsleyand Shakespearean voice teacher Patsy Rodenburg’s book <a href="https://amzn.to/2OIO9Ea" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">The Second Circle</a>, which Amy says has influenced her more than any book she’s ever read. Read its <a href="https://books.google.com.jm/books?id=7UUwDwAAQBAJ&amp;pg=PT186&amp;lpg=PT186&amp;dq=patsy+rodenburg+second+circle+parenting&amp;source=bl&amp;ots=b-bcpeF6PG&amp;sig=HfsyPv38Arzra3BnZddbHYfUwCw&amp;hl=en&amp;sa=X&amp;ved=2ahUKEwiDkIrojPTcAhUOrlkKHeU8CTkQ6AEwGnoECAoQAQ#v=onepage&amp;q=patsy%20rodenburg%20second%20circle%20parenting&amp;f=false" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">excerpts on parenting here</a>. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit <a href="https://megaphone.fm/adchoices" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">megaphone.fm/adchoices</a>

How To Be a Happier Parent (with KJ Dell’Antonia) 

We’ve all done things as parents that, looking back, we can’t believe. Sometimes they are supermom-type accomplishments that defy easy explanation: did I really have three kids in diapers at the same time? Did I really get through airport security with those same three children, and unassisted?  Then there are the decisions that in retrospect seem foolish at best: did I really wake a sleeping infant every three hours? Did I also make a tiny sign to hang from the car seat, reminding strangers to wash their hands, as if it were a cartoon speech bubble coming directly from my baby’s mouth?  We asked our listeners for their “did I really do that?” moments and got plenty of each version. In this episode we put them all on the table– and also interview two women who may or may not have done a few silly things themselves: Amy’s mom and Margaret’s Aunt Terry. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We’ve all done things as parents that, looking back, we can’t believe. Sometimes they are supermom-type accomplishments that defy easy explanation: did I really have three kids in diapers at the same time? Did I really get through airport security with those same three children, and unassisted?  Then there are the decisions that in retrospect seem foolish at best: did I really wake a sleeping infant every three hours? Did I also make a tiny sign to hang from the car seat, reminding strangers to wash their hands, as if it were a cartoon speech bubble coming directly from my baby’s mouth?  We asked our listeners for their “did I really do that?” moments and got plenty of each version. In this episode we put them all on the table– and also interview two women who may or may not have done a few silly things themselves: Amy’s mom and Margaret’s Aunt Terry. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit <a href="https://megaphone.fm/adchoices" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">megaphone.fm/adchoices</a>

Did We Really Do That?

Before we became mothers, most of us had fairly clear notions of the kinds of parents we wanted to be— and extremely clear notions of the mothers we would not, under any circumstances, ever be. Our children would eat whatever was on their plates. Our children would be screen-free until kindergarten. Our children would never hear anything but their mothers’ most dulcet of tones. And then we became mothers. We asked you to tell us the mothers you swore you’d never be— and yet somehow are. (Once in a while.) In this episode we share our own confessions and commiserate with you all. No food in the living room? No crying it out? No plastic toys? How’d that work out?  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Before we became mothers, most of us had fairly clear notions of the kinds of parents we wanted to be— and extremely clear notions of the mothers we would not, under any circumstances, ever be. Our children would eat whatever was on their plates. Our children would be screen-free until kindergarten. Our children would never hear anything but their mothers’ most dulcet of tones. And then we became mothers. We asked you to tell us the mothers you swore you’d never be— and yet somehow are. (Once in a while.) In this episode we share our own confessions and commiserate with you all. No food in the living room? No crying it out? No plastic toys? How’d that work out? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit <a href="https://megaphone.fm/adchoices" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">megaphone.fm/adchoices</a>

The Mothers We Swore We’d Never Be 

America has 3% of the world’s kids… and 40% of the world’s toys. We’ve got clutter, right here in River City.In our opinion the best decluttering advice, from Joshua Becker of Becoming Minimalist, is to “slow the accumulation of new possessions.” In other words, don’t let all that junk in the front door in the first place.But assuming your household missed that memo— as ours both have— in this episode we discuss:* non-vehicular nonsense* our kids’ anxiety about purging toys, even long-forgotten ones* the personal blind spots we have when clutter-clearing (Margaret has T-shirts from HIGH SCHOOL)* the procrastination-enabling, problem-compounding reality of owning a storage unit* the great unused potential of the back of your closet doors* why the roasting pan you use once a year can become your toy room’s greatest strategy* the surprisingly plausible “super-fun cleaning party”Amy organizes a little bit at a time; she thinks emptying a junk drawer a day is the key to a tidy home. Margaret says her house is way beyond the help afforded by cleaning out her makeup bag on a Tuesday afternoon. But wherever you lie on the clutter continuum, this episode is full of ideas for eating that elephant. One delicious bite at a time.Here’s some links to research and resources discussed in this episode:* the UCLA social science study in 2012 that shows our collective clutter-induced doom: Life at Home in the 21st Century: 32 Families Open Their Doors* “low self-worth apparel” as defined by creativity guru Julia Cameron* the “decluttering burst,” from Courtney Carver of Be More With Less* the “30 Day Declutter Challenge,” from Liz Neiman of the Love and Marriage Blog* from Beth Teitel for the Boston Globe: Today’s Families are Prisoners of Their Own Clutter This episode is brought to you by Blinkist, which distills the best takeaways of popular non-fiction into 15- minute “blinks” you can listen to or read while you’re on the go. Check out decluttering “blinks” like Marie Kondo’s The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up or Julie Morgenstern’s Organizing from the Inside Out with our special code: http://bit.ly/freshblinkist.    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

America has 3% of the world’s kids… and <a href="https://www.bostonglobe.com/opinion/2012/08/02/clear-clutter-get-rid-unneeded-toys/J4NYKmCd97rHy494XrOgeP/story.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">40% of the world’s toys</a>. We’ve got clutter, right here in River City.In our opinion the best decluttering advice, from Joshua Becker of <a href="https://www.becomingminimalist.com/the-simple-guide-to-a-clutter-free-home/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Becoming Minimalist</a>, is to “slow the accumulation of new possessions.” In other words, don’t let all that junk in the front door in the first place. But assuming your household missed that memo— as ours both have— in this episode we discuss: * non-vehicular nonsense* our kids’ anxiety about purging toys, even long-forgotten ones* the personal blind spots we have when clutter-clearing (Margaret has T-shirts from HIGH SCHOOL)* the procrastination-enabling, problem-compounding reality of owning a storage unit* the great unused potential of the back of your closet doors* why the roasting pan you use once a year can become your toy room’s greatest strategy* the surprisingly plausible “super-fun cleaning party” Amy organizes a little bit at a time; she thinks emptying a junk drawer a day is the key to a tidy home. Margaret says her house is way beyond the help afforded by cleaning out her makeup bag on a Tuesday afternoon. But wherever you lie on the clutter continuum, this episode is full of ideas for eating that elephant. One delicious bite at a time.Here’s some links to research and resources discussed in this episode: * the UCLA social science study in 2012 that shows our collective clutter-induced doom: <a href="http://amzn.to/2jlZcZm" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Life at Home in the 21st Century: 32 Families Open Their Doors</a>* <a href="https://books.google.com/books?id=HX8kDwAAQBAJ&amp;pg=PT306&amp;lpg=PT306&amp;dq=low+self-worth+clothes+julia+cameron&amp;source=bl&amp;ots=zPxXIoUnwv&amp;sig=hkSbHXh05niTFcIWAgzb2EX2YYY&amp;hl=en&amp;sa=X&amp;ved=0ahUKEwj9kf3Ctp3WAhXFzlQKHdATCE8Q6AEIRDAK#v=onepage&amp;q=low%20self-worth%20clothes%20julia%20cameron&amp;f=false" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">“low self-worth apparel”</a> as defined by creativity guru <a href="http://amzn.to/2gYzYzg" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Julia Cameron</a>* the <a href="https://bemorewithless.com/decluttering-burst/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">“decluttering burst,”</a> from Courtney Carver of <a href="https://bemorewithless.com/decluttering-burst/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Be More With Less</a>* the <a href="http://loveandmarriageblog.com/30-day-de-clutter-challenge/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">“30 Day Declutter Challenge,”</a> from Liz Neiman of the <a href="http://loveandmarriageblog.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Love and Marriage Blog</a>* from Beth Teitel for the Boston Globe: <a href="https://www.bostonglobe.com/lifestyle/2012/07/09/new-study-says-american-families-are-overwhelmed-clutter-rarely-eat-together-and-are-generally-stressed-out-about-all/G4VdOwzXNinxkMhKA1YtyO/story.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Today’s Families are Prisoners of Their Own Clutter </a> This episode is brought to you by <a href="http://bit.ly/freshblinkist" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Blinkist</a>, which distills the best takeaways of popular non-fiction into 15- minute “blinks” you can listen to or read while you’re on the go. Check out decluttering “blinks” like Marie Kondo’s The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up or Julie Morgenstern’s Organizing from the Inside Out with our special code: <a href="http://bit.ly/freshblinkist" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">http://bit.ly/freshblinkist</a>.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit <a href="https://megaphone.fm/adchoices" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">megaphone.fm/adchoices</a>

Conquering Clutter

 We asked all of you to tell us the one random thing you can’t live without—whether for your parenting sanity, or just for yourself. In this episode, we discuss the unexpected must-haves that us all going, from grapefruit LaCroix to Target bathing suits. Here are just a few of the things you might not have thought were that important but which matter entirely:  those packets of desiccant that come in shoe boxes- which Amy used to resuscitate a smartphone that had fallen in the bathtubwhite vinegarDunkin’ Donuts unsweetened iced tea (no lemon)white noise machines (for both babies, and the grownups who have gotten too used to listening for them all night)baby carriers (your favorite brands: babytula.com, Ergobaby, and Lillebaby)This episode is full of gee-I-should-try-thats. Thanks to everyone who submitted ideas— even the person who said floss picks. You are heard. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We asked all of you to tell us the one random thing you can’t live without—whether for your parenting sanity, or just for yourself. In this episode, we discuss the unexpected must-haves that us all going, from grapefruit LaCroix to Target bathing suits. Here are just a few of the things you might not have thought were that important but which matter entirely:  those packets of desiccant that come in shoe boxes- which Amy used to <a href="https://www.wired.com/2014/02/thats-deal-wet-phone/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">resuscitate a smartphone</a> that had fallen in the bathtub<a href="https://www.housebeautiful.com/uk/lifestyle/cleaning/news/a97/9-surprising-uses-for-white-vinegar/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">white vinegar</a>Dunkin’ Donuts unsweetened iced tea (no lemon)white noise machines (for both babies, and the grownups who have gotten too used to listening for them all night)baby carriers (your favorite brands: <a href="http://babytula.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">babytula.com</a>, <a href="https://amzn.to/2vnch7w" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Ergobaby</a>, and <a href="https://amzn.to/2v58s7A" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Lillebaby</a>) This episode is full of gee-I-should-try-thats. Thanks to everyone who submitted ideas— even the person who said <a href="https://amzn.to/2Kev4r7" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">floss picks</a>. You are heard. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit <a href="https://megaphone.fm/adchoices" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">megaphone.fm/adchoices</a>

The Random Things We Can’t Live Without 

Whining is what experts call a “low-power strategy of dominance.” Kids do it because it’s what’s available to them. Since it drives parents bonkers, it’s remarkably effective. And it turns out whining really is as annoying as we think it is. A recent study tested whether adults (non-parents and parents both) were more distracted by whining than other sounds. The result? Everyone in the study, whether they had kids or not, found the sound of a whining toddler twice as distracting as the sound of a table saw screeching at full volume.As effective as this "auditory sensitivity" is, no wonder most humans between the ages of two and four learn to take full advantage. Still, there are things we can do to make the whining bother us less, which will make it less effective, which will make our kids do it less, and look who's got a strategy of dominance now?In this episode, we discuss the best ways to deal with whiners, and how to perhaps greet it with a bit more generosity. We might as well; we're probably stuck with it. As parenting specialist Bonnie Harris puts it:"Whining is as developmental and normal in a toddler’s life as discovering the pleasure of saying “no." Don’t think about teaching your child not to do it. Do think about ways you can help yourself deal with it calmly and perhaps shorten its duration."Here are links to research on whining that we discuss in this episode:  Bonnie Harris for Christian Science Monitor: Five parenting tips to put a stop to your child's whining  Dr. Guy Winch for Psychology Today: A Simple Trick to Get Your Kid to Stop Whining  Erin Leyba for Motherly: It’s science: Kids whine for a (very good) reason  Jonathan Allen for Reuters: Study: Child's whining one of life's most distracting sounds   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Whining is what experts call a “low-power strategy of dominance.” Kids do it because it’s what’s available to them. Since it drives parents bonkers, it’s remarkably effective. And it turns out whining really is as annoying as we think it is. A <a href="https://www.reuters.com/article/us-whining-study/study-childs-whining-one-of-lifes-most-distracting-sounds-idUSTRE75K6TH20110621" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">recent study</a> tested whether adults (non-parents and parents both) were more distracted by whining than other sounds. The result? Everyone in the study, whether they had kids or not, found the sound of a whining toddler twice as distracting as the sound of a table saw screeching at full volume.As effective as this "auditory sensitivity" is, no wonder most humans between the ages of two and four learn to take full advantage. Still, there are things we can do to make the whining bother us less, which will make it less effective, which will make our kids do it less, and look who's got a strategy of dominance now?In this episode, we discuss the best ways to deal with whiners, and how to perhaps greet it with a bit more generosity. We might as well; we're probably stuck with it. As parenting specialist Bonnie Harris <a href="https://www.csmonitor.com/The-Culture/Family/Modern-Parenthood/2012/0509/Five-parenting-tips-to-put-a-stop-to-your-child-s-whining" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">puts it</a>:"Whining is as developmental and normal in a toddler’s life as discovering the pleasure of saying “no." Don’t think about teaching your child not to do it. Do think about ways you can help yourself deal with it calmly and perhaps shorten its duration."Here are links to research on whining that we discuss in this episode: <ul> <li>Bonnie Harris for Christian Science Monitor: <a href="https://www.csmonitor.com/The-Culture/Family/Modern-Parenthood/2012/0509/Five-parenting-tips-to-put-a-stop-to-your-child-s-whining" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Five parenting tips to put a stop to your child's whining</a> </li> <li>Dr. Guy Winch for Psychology Today: <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-squeaky-wheel/201704/simple-trick-get-your-kid-stop-whining" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">A Simple Trick to Get Your Kid to Stop Whining</a> </li> <li>Erin Leyba for Motherly: <a href="https://www.mother.ly/child/the-science-behind-why-kids-whine" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">It’s science: Kids whine for a (very good) reason</a> </li> <li>Jonathan Allen for Reuters: Study: <a href="https://www.reuters.com/article/us-whining-study/study-childs-whining-one-of-lifes-most-distracting-sounds-idUSTRE75K6TH20110621" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Child's whining one of life's most distracting sounds</a> </li> </ul> Learn more about your ad choices. Visit <a href="https://megaphone.fm/adchoices" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">megaphone.fm/adchoices</a>

The Whining is Killing Us

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