Enod Gray's guest appearances

Enod Gray

Sex, Love, and Addiction

Betrayal Recovery Radio: The Official Podcast of APSATS

Healing Conversations for Men Who Have Sex with Men

Todd Love

Eddie Capparucci

Andrew Susskind

Barbara Steffens

Lulu Cook

Scott Brassart

Mark Anthony Lord

Mel Robbins

Don Hilton

Rob Weiss

Jake Porter

Leon Seltzer

Matt Sharp

Sara Schulting-Kranz

Sue Johnson

OwlTail

Many people initially seek therapy for problems in their intimate relationships unaware that attachment patterns established in childhood directly affect behavior in their adult relationships. It is important to dismantle and become mindful of survival strategies unconsciously created in childhood that cause dysfunction in adult life. Neglect and our reaction to it is one of the most subtle and unrecognized of those problems which interferes with our ability to love and be loved. We are naturally created to seek connection, but when unconscious patterns interfere with this process they can produce devastating emotional pain and unhealthy behaviors that prevent this from happening. The first order of business is to unpack risky family situations, brain chemistry, and genetic factors to become mindful of how behaviors in the now are unconsciously being dictated by the past. Awareness then becomes one of the the keys to healing patterns that keep us from achieving true intimacy. Join Dr. Jake Porter in this interview with Enod Gray, LCSW, CSAT, and author of Neglect: The Silent Abuser.  Links for the show: http://apsats.org http://drjakeporter.com Enod Gray's Practice Enod's Book on Neglect

Many people initially seek therapy for problems in their intimate relationships unaware that attachment patterns established in childhood directly affect behavior in their adult relationships. It is important to dismantle and become mindful of survival strategies unconsciously created in childhood that cause dysfunction in adult life. Neglect and our reaction to it is one of the most subtle and unrecognized of those problems which interferes with our ability to love and be loved. We are naturally created to seek connection, but when unconscious patterns interfere with this process they can produce devastating emotional pain and unhealthy behaviors that prevent this from happening. The first order of business is to unpack risky family situations, brain chemistry, and genetic factors to become mindful of how behaviors in the now are unconsciously being dictated by the past. Awareness then becomes one of the the keys to healing patterns that keep us from achieving true intimacy. Join Dr. Jake Porter in this interview with Enod Gray, LCSW, CSAT, and author of Neglect: The Silent Abuser. Links for the show: <a href="http://apsats.org" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">http://apsats.org</a> <a href="http://drjakeporter.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">http://drjakeporter.com</a> <a href="https://www.trueselftransitions.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Enod Gray</a><a href="https://www.trueselftransitions.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">'s Practice</a> <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Neglect-Silent-Abuser-Recognize-Childhood/dp/1796827657/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=neglect+the+silent+abuser&amp;qid=1656209603&amp;sprefix=neglect+the+s%2Caps%2C101&amp;sr=8-1" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Enod's Book on Neglect</a>

Recognizing and Healing from Childhood Neglect, with Enod Gray and Dr. Jake Porter

Enod Gray is a clinical social worker, certified sex addiction therapist, and has been in this work for over 25+ years. Enod specializes in complex PTSD, childhood abuse and neglect, partner trauma, and more. Enod shares her thoughts on how gay men can find themselves and be true to themselves when they’ve grown up in a community that is homophobic or extremely religious. You don’t need to wait until you become an empty nester to live your true, authentic life.   TAKEAWAYS: [1:00] A little bit about Enod and her work. [3:20] There is so much trauma around growing up and not being able to fit in as a gay man. [5:10] How does bullying impact a child? [8:15] Any kind of addiction is an attempt to survive. [9:20] How can people heal themselves if they feel like ‘damaged goods’ due to their HIV diagnosis? [10:35] A lot of trauma resides in the body. [15:45] Enod shares her experience with gay youth and religion. [19:05] So many gay men come out later in life after they’ve had families because they finally felt comfortable in their own skin to be accepted. [21:15] There is great power in finding a healthy community and group. [25:00] You deserve to live out your true life.   RESOURCES: Trueselftransitions.com Email Enod: Enod@Trueselftransitions.com  Neglect‑The Silent Abuser: How to Recognize and Heal by Enod Gray   QUOTES:  “As children and youth, the tendency is to blame themselves. This thinking that it’s all their fault.”  “Being gay or being trans just puts another layer over it. The basic human need to belong is obliviated by bullying.”  “Addictions are all coping mechanisms to survive.”  “Gay men will often marry, have families, even though they’re not attracted to the opposite sex just to be accepted. That’s sad.” 

Enod Gray is a clinical social worker, certified sex addiction therapist, and has been in this work for over 25+ years. Enod specializes in complex PTSD, childhood abuse and neglect, partner trauma, and more. Enod shares her thoughts on how gay men can find themselves and be true to themselves when they’ve grown up in a community that is homophobic or extremely religious. You don’t need to wait until you become an empty nester to live your true, authentic life. TAKEAWAYS: [1:00] A little bit about Enod and her work. [3:20] There is so much trauma around growing up and not being able to fit in as a gay man. [5:10] How does bullying impact a child? [8:15] Any kind of addiction is an attempt to survive. [9:20] How can people heal themselves if they feel like ‘damaged goods’ due to their HIV diagnosis? [10:35] A lot of trauma resides in the body. [15:45] Enod shares her experience with gay youth and religion. [19:05] So many gay men come out later in life after they’ve had families because they finally felt comfortable in their own skin to be accepted. [21:15] There is great power in finding a healthy community and group. [25:00] You deserve to live out your true life. RESOURCES: <a href="https://www.trueselftransitions.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Trueselftransitions.com</a> Email Enod: <a href="mailto:Enod@Trueselftransitions.com">Enod@Trueselftransitions.com</a> <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Neglect-Silent-Abuser-Recognize-Childhood-ebook/dp/B07NPYBVX5" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> Neglect‑The Silent Abuser: How to Recognize and Heal by Enod Gray</a> QUOTES: <ul> <li>“As children and youth, the tendency is to blame themselves. This thinking that it’s all their fault.”</li> <li> “Being gay or being trans just puts another layer over it. The basic human need to belong is obliviated by bullying.”</li> <li> “Addictions are all coping mechanisms to survive.”</li> <li> “Gay men will often marry, have families, even though they’re not attracted to the opposite sex just to be accepted. That’s sad.”</li> </ul>

Stronger Together. You Deserve to be Accepted with Enod Gray

Therapist and counselor Enod Gray joins the show today to talk about how people are affected by neglect. She and Rob discuss the types of family dynamics that often lead to neglect, how people are affected by neglect, and what solutions are out there for folks dealing with this painful and under-discussed subject. Enod is based in Houston and offers counseling through her True Self Transitions business. She also discusses her new book, Neglect — The Silent Abuser and how one can begin to heal from childhood neglect.   TAKEAWAYS: [3:01] Neglect often goes undetected and unrecognized. While clients report overt abuse, neglect can be so foundational in so many issues. When neglect happens pre-verbally in a child's development, there is typically a feeling of emptiness and pain that feels as though it comes from an unknown source. [5:03] Enod names the types of situations where neglect most occurs in families. Some of the biggest ones are:  When a family has a sick or handicapped child that gets the parent’s attention. When there is another sibling that is very talented in one area and it overshadows the others. Mental illness/addiction in the family. Really large families causing children to get “lost in the shuffle”. A child that was a mistake. A child that was a “miracle baby”, and the parents have everything planned. This causes the child to miss out on developing their true self.  [10:21]  A few crucial elements for the neglected to heal: they must go within themselves and tell the truth about what happened, and how they are going to reenact now in the present day. They must seek professional help for distractions/addictions, learn to play, and learn proper boundaries. [13:28] It often is tough for neglected people to trust others and to find an intimate connection. This isolate, in turn, can lead to depression and anxiety, so it is very important for them to find ways to connect. [16:26] Addiction can take on many forms. A few examples can be sexual addiction, the addiction to work and achieve, love addiction, or a need to prove themselves worthy so they can find “the one”. [20:02] It can be tough for men to deal with the true pain and grief neglect causes, as society tells them to be strong and stoic.   RESOURCES: Sex and Relationship Healing @RobWeissMSW  Sex Addiction 101  Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men  Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency Rob@sexandrelationshiphealing.com enod@trueselftransitions.com True Self Transitions  Neglect — The Silent Abuser   QUOTES:  “Children need guidance, but they don’t need to be told how to feel.” “It doesn’t take much to hurt a child’s little soul and make them feel as though they shouldn’t be here.” “Inside every human being is the desire for connection.” “You have to know where you end and the other begins. First you have to know who you are.” “Allowing yourself to cry and allowing yourself to grieve is a strength, not a weakness.” 

Therapist and counselor Enod Gray joins the show today to talk about how people are affected by neglect. She and Rob discuss the types of family dynamics that often lead to neglect, how people are affected by neglect, and what solutions are out there for folks dealing with this painful and under-discussed subject. Enod is based in Houston and offers counseling through her True Self Transitions business. She also discusses her new book, Neglect — The Silent Abuser and how one can begin to heal from childhood neglect. TAKEAWAYS: [3:01] Neglect often goes undetected and unrecognized. While clients report overt abuse, neglect can be so foundational in so many issues. When neglect happens pre-verbally in a child's development, there is typically a feeling of emptiness and pain that feels as though it comes from an unknown source. [5:03] Enod names the types of situations where neglect most occurs in families. Some of the biggest ones are: <ul> <li>When a family has a sick or handicapped child that gets the parent’s attention.</li> <li>When there is another sibling that is very talented in one area and it overshadows the others.</li> <li>Mental illness/addiction in the family.</li> <li>Really large families causing children to get “lost in the shuffle”.</li> <li>A child that was a mistake.</li> <li>A child that was a “miracle baby”, and the parents have everything planned. This causes the child to miss out on developing their true self.</li> </ul> [10:21]  A few crucial elements for the neglected to heal: they must go within themselves and tell the truth about what happened, and how they are going to reenact now in the present day. They must seek professional help for distractions/addictions, learn to play, and learn proper boundaries. [13:28] It often is tough for neglected people to trust others and to find an intimate connection. This isolate, in turn, can lead to depression and anxiety, so it is very important for them to find ways to connect. [16:26] Addiction can take on many forms. A few examples can be sexual addiction, the addiction to work and achieve, love addiction, or a need to prove themselves worthy so they can find “the one”. [20:02] It can be tough for men to deal with the true pain and grief neglect causes, as society tells them to be strong and stoic. RESOURCES: <a href="https://sexandrelationshiphealing.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Sex and Relationship Healing</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/robweissmsw" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">@RobWeissMSW</a> <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Sex-Addiction-101-Basic-Healing/dp/0757318436" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> Sex Addiction 101</a> <a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00BAEK96A/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&amp;btkr=1" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men</a> <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Prodependence-Moving-Codependency-Robert-Weiss/dp/075732035X" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency</a> <a href="mailto:Rob@sexandrelationshiphealing.com">Rob@sexandrelationshiphealing.com</a> <a href="mailto:enod@trueselftransitions.com">enod@trueselftransitions.com</a> <a href="https://trueselftransitions.com/about-us/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">True Self Transitions</a> <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Neglect-Silent-Abuser-Recognize-Childhood-ebook/dp/B07NPYBVX5/ref=sr_1_fkmrnull_1?keywords=Neglect%3A+The+Silent+Abuser&amp;qid=1552362570&amp;s=gateway&amp;sr=8-1-fkmrnull" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> Neglect — The Silent Abuser</a> QUOTES: <ul> <li>“Children need guidance, but they don’t need to be told how to feel.”</li> <li>“It doesn’t take much to hurt a child’s little soul and make them feel as though they shouldn’t be here.”</li> <li>“Inside every human being is the desire for connection.”</li> <li>“You have to know where you end and the other begins. First you have to know who you are.”</li> <li>“Allowing yourself to cry and allowing yourself to grieve is a strength, not a weakness.”</li> </ul>

The Cost of Neglect with Enod Gray