Scott Brassart's guest appearances

Scott Brassart

Sex, Love, and Addiction

Healing Conversations for Men Who Have Sex with Men

Matt Sharp

Todd Love

Mark Anthony Lord

Eddie Capparucci

Damon Jacobs

Mark S. King

Butch Mckay

Bruce Richman

Dave Watt

Terrence Crawford

Walt Odets

David Malebranche

Oni Blackstock

Enod Gray

Andrew Susskind

OwlTail

Scott Brassart is the Director of Content Development at Seeking Integrity. He writes all the content at Seeking Integrity and has worked directly with Dr. Rob for over 10 years. Scott also teaches a lot of the courses at the treatment center. In this episode, Dr. Rob and Scott continue their conversations about porn addiction and offer insights on what steps you need to take to heal from porn addiction.    TAKEAWAYS: [3:20] Why is my spouse so unhappy about my porn use?  [3:50] Can porn use escalate the same way alcohol addiction escalated?  [7:25] Porn addicts will start out looking at vanilla porn, and then the intensity keeps getting turned up to get their fix.  [11:15] The brain ends up turning down the dopamine on our entire life. The addict suddenly needs more intensity, more dopamine, more of a rush.  [16:00] Clients who are withdrawing often feel very lonely and very sad. Why is that?  [18:35] How can you change the behavior?  [19:45] It’s important to define what addiction looks like, and also what sobriety can look like.  [20:25] Sex addiction is treated a lot like an eating disorder. We can’t quit eating altogether.  [24:25] What does healthy intimacy actually look like?  [24:40] Addiction feels great but it’s a one-trick pony. [27:45] If we open the door slightly, your addiction will come back. [29:05] Remember, there is no cure for addiction. You need to keep up daily maintenance to be sober. [32:45] Want additional support? Reach out to Seeking Integrity for more free resources!    RESOURCES: Sex and Relationship Healing @RobWeissMSW  Sex Addiction 101  Seeking Integrity  Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men   Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency Scott on LinkedIn  Scott at Seeking Integrity   QUOTES:  “Escalation is characteristic to all addictions. We build up tolerance. Porn gives us a sense of pleasure.” “Tolerance comes when the brain turns up the dopamine. Porn addicts end up going places that violate their values. They uncover [unwanted] elements of an arousal template.” “No more porn, but that does not mean no more sex. We treat sex addiction like an eating disorder.” “Ultimately, the goal of addiction recovery is to identify the behavior, stop it, break through denial, work on the underlying issues, and to live a better life.” 

Scott Brassart is the Director of Content Development at Seeking Integrity. He writes all the content at Seeking Integrity and has worked directly with Dr. Rob for over 10 years. Scott also teaches a lot of the courses at the treatment center. In this episode, Dr. Rob and Scott continue their conversations about porn addiction and offer insights on what steps you need to take to heal from porn addiction.  TAKEAWAYS: [3:20] Why is my spouse so unhappy about my porn use?  [3:50] Can porn use escalate the same way alcohol addiction escalated?  [7:25] Porn addicts will start out looking at vanilla porn, and then the intensity keeps getting turned up to get their fix.  [11:15] The brain ends up turning down the dopamine on our entire life. The addict suddenly needs more intensity, more dopamine, more of a rush.  [16:00] Clients who are withdrawing often feel very lonely and very sad. Why is that?  [18:35] How can you change the behavior?  [19:45] It’s important to define what addiction looks like, and also what sobriety can look like.  [20:25] Sex addiction is treated a lot like an eating disorder. We can’t quit eating altogether.  [24:25] What does healthy intimacy actually look like?  [24:40] Addiction feels great but it’s a one-trick pony. [27:45] If we open the door slightly, your addiction will come back. [29:05] Remember, there is no cure for addiction. You need to keep up daily maintenance to be sober. [32:45] Want additional support? Reach out to Seeking Integrity for more free resources!  RESOURCES: <a href="https://sexandrelationshiphealing.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Sex and Relationship Healing</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/robweissmsw" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">@RobWeissMSW</a> <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Sex-Addiction-101-Basic-Healing/dp/0757318436" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> Sex Addiction 101 </a> <a href="https://seekingintegrity.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Seeking Integrity</a> <a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00BAEK96A/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&amp;btkr=1" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men </a> <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Prodependence-Moving-Codependency-Robert-Weiss/dp/075732035X" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency</a> <a href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/scott-brassart-68355955/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Scott on LinkedIn</a> <a href="https://seekingintegrity.com/about-us/staff/scott-brassart/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> Scott at Seeking Integrity</a> QUOTES: <ul> <li>“Escalation is characteristic to all addictions. We build up tolerance. Porn gives us a sense of pleasure.”</li> <li>“Tolerance comes when the brain turns up the dopamine. Porn addicts end up going places that violate their values. They uncover [unwanted] elements of an arousal template.”</li> <li>“No more porn, but that does not mean no more sex. We treat sex addiction like an eating disorder.”</li> <li>“Ultimately, the goal of addiction recovery is to identify the behavior, stop it, break through denial, work on the underlying issues, and to live a better life.”</li> </ul>

Part 2 - Porn Addiction 101: The Problem with Scott Brassart

Scott Brassart is the Director of Content Development at Seeking Integrity. He writes all the content at Seeking Integrity and has worked directly with Dr. Rob for more than 10 years. Scott also teaches a lot of the courses at the treatment center. In this episode, Dr. Rob and Scott sit down to discuss porn addiction, the definition of porn, and how anybody, no matter their class, can be subjected to porn addiction. Addiction is a mental health issue. It’s an indicator that people are unable to go to someone for help, or comfort, and that’s why they seek external ways to cope and escape.    TAKEAWAYS: [4:20] How do you define porn in the digital age? [5:30] Is ‘OnlyFans’ considered porn?  [9:10] If you’re using something for the purposes of arousal, even if it’s not ‘porn’, then it is still classified as pornography. [11:10] What’s the difference between casual porn use vs. you having a problem?  [13:55] It’s not about how much porn you look at, it’s about what it does to your life.  [18:25] At some point, you lose control over the behavior. There are casual users, there are at-risk users, and then there are addicts. Scott explains the difference.  [24:20] Porn addicts know, deep down, they have a problem.  [25:45] Porn is not an age thing or a socioeconomic thing. These are real people of all ages, and demographics, struggling with loneliness.  [27:20] Porn has gotten more advanced. You can now build a sexual connection with another person with a computer/cellphone.  [30:15] What is the appeal of pornography?  [33:15] If you’re looking at porn, chances are you’re also looking at victims of sex trafficking.  [37:15] Look forward to part 2 of this episode coming soon!    RESOURCES: Sex and Relationship Healing @RobWeissMSW  Sex Addiction 101  Seeking Integrity  Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men   Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency Scott on LinkedIn  Scott at Seeking Integrity   QUOTES:  “Porn is imagery or written text that we use to get aroused. Sex addicts and porn addicts not only use it for purposes of arousal but purposes of escape.” “For porn addicts, it’s easy to rationalize Game of Thrones or cruising Instagram or OnlyFans. Technically you’re still sober from your porn addiction, and my answer is not so much.” “Addicts are people who are really, really hooked. Life is going good, they’re using porn. Life is going bad, they’re using porn. The sun is up, they’re using porn. The sun is down, they’re using porn. That’s an addict.” “As addicts, we’re afraid to be vulnerable. We’re afraid of rejection. We’re afraid that if we know the real us, you’ll run screaming.” 

Scott Brassart is the Director of Content Development at Seeking Integrity. He writes all the content at Seeking Integrity and has worked directly with Dr. Rob for more than 10 years. Scott also teaches a lot of the courses at the treatment center. In this episode, Dr. Rob and Scott sit down to discuss porn addiction, the definition of porn, and how anybody, no matter their class, can be subjected to porn addiction. Addiction is a mental health issue. It’s an indicator that people are unable to go to someone for help, or comfort, and that’s why they seek external ways to cope and escape.  TAKEAWAYS: [4:20] How do you define porn in the digital age? [5:30] Is ‘OnlyFans’ considered porn?  [9:10] If you’re using something for the purposes of arousal, even if it’s not ‘porn’, then it is still classified as pornography. [11:10] What’s the difference between casual porn use vs. you having a problem?  [13:55] It’s not about how much porn you look at, it’s about what it does to your life.  [18:25] At some point, you lose control over the behavior. There are casual users, there are at-risk users, and then there are addicts. Scott explains the difference.  [24:20] Porn addicts know, deep down, they have a problem.  [25:45] Porn is not an age thing or a socioeconomic thing. These are real people of all ages, and demographics, struggling with loneliness.  [27:20] Porn has gotten more advanced. You can now build a sexual connection with another person with a computer/cellphone.  [30:15] What is the appeal of pornography?  [33:15] If you’re looking at porn, chances are you’re also looking at victims of sex trafficking.  [37:15] Look forward to part 2 of this episode coming soon!  RESOURCES: <a href="https://sexandrelationshiphealing.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Sex and Relationship Healing</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/robweissmsw" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">@RobWeissMSW</a> <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Sex-Addiction-101-Basic-Healing/dp/0757318436" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> Sex Addiction 101 </a> <a href="https://seekingintegrity.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Seeking Integrity</a> <a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00BAEK96A/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&amp;btkr=1" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men </a> <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Prodependence-Moving-Codependency-Robert-Weiss/dp/075732035X" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency</a> <a href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/scott-brassart-68355955/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Scott on LinkedIn</a> <a href="https://seekingintegrity.com/about-us/staff/scott-brassart/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> Scott at Seeking Integrity</a> QUOTES: <ul> <li>“Porn is imagery or written text that we use to get aroused. Sex addicts and porn addicts not only use it for purposes of arousal but purposes of escape.”</li> <li>“For porn addicts, it’s easy to rationalize Game of Thrones or cruising Instagram or OnlyFans. Technically you’re still sober from your porn addiction, and my answer is not so much.”</li> <li>“Addicts are people who are really, really hooked. Life is going good, they’re using porn. Life is going bad, they’re using porn. The sun is up, they’re using porn. The sun is down, they’re using porn. That’s an addict.”</li> <li>“As addicts, we’re afraid to be vulnerable. We’re afraid of rejection. We’re afraid that if we know the real us, you’ll run screaming.”</li> </ul>

Part 1 - Porn Addiction 101: The Problem with Scott Brassart 

Scott Brassart is the Director of Content Development at Seeking Integrity and has worked alongside Dr. David for the last two years. As a gay man himself, Scott discusses the prominent drug use in the gay community, the stigma behind sex recovery, the shame, and trauma young LGBTQ members experience, and opens up a conversation on how to develop healthy sexual patterns while in recovery.   TAKEAWAYS: [1:25] Scott shares his story about his struggles with addiction and his journey to sobriety. [3:15] Does the LGBTQ community have a greater tolerance for drug use than the heterosexual community? The answer is yes, and no. [6:55] When beginning a journey into sex recovery, it can be very difficult for gay men to get the right treatment. Gay men tend to be sexually liberal and will rebel against anyone trying to control or put boundaries around their sex lives. [8:50] When Scott got sober, he didn’t know what to do with himself. His addiction was his one and only hobby at that point and he had nothing else in his life. [11:45] Sex addiction is a bit different than a drug addiction. If you do drugs, you’ve relapsed. If you have sex, you have to treat it more like an eating disorder. You have to learn how to have sex in healthy ways so that you don’t spiral out of control. [13:35] People in the LGBTQ community experience a lot of shame and this shame can be used as fuel towards unhealthy and addictive behavior. [16:55] Any child who has been bullied over their sexual orientation holds a lot of shame. This can get compounded and turned into trauma, and that will affect them throughout their adult life. [19:30] Growing up as a young boy in Indiana, Scott always felt out of place. He had no romantic or sexual development while in school because of how conservative his community was. [22:25] What are some of the benefits (and disadvantages) of joining a gay-only or gay-friendly group meetings? [28:15] Like everything else, there are really good therapists and really terrible therapists out there. If you’re curious about seeking help, try a therapist out and see how it feels.     RESOURCES: Seekingintegrity.com Scott on LinkedIn   QUOTES:  “Gay and lesbian people have higher rates of addiction than heterosexual people. I think that may be shame-related more than anything else.” “If you’ve tried to cut back or quit altogether [with sex] and you failed, and you’ve done that multiple times, you’ve lost control.” “If it’s out of control and it’s ruining your life, maybe you should do something about it.” “Growing up gay in America, even today is traumatic and early life trauma breeds shame.” 

Scott Brassart is the Director of Content Development at Seeking Integrity and has worked alongside Dr. David for the last two years. As a gay man himself, Scott discusses the prominent drug use in the gay community, the stigma behind sex recovery, the shame, and trauma young LGBTQ members experience, and opens up a conversation on how to develop healthy sexual patterns while in recovery. TAKEAWAYS: [1:25] Scott shares his story about his struggles with addiction and his journey to sobriety. [3:15] Does the LGBTQ community have a greater tolerance for drug use than the heterosexual community? The answer is yes, and no. [6:55] When beginning a journey into sex recovery, it can be very difficult for gay men to get the right treatment. Gay men tend to be sexually liberal and will rebel against anyone trying to control or put boundaries around their sex lives. [8:50] When Scott got sober, he didn’t know what to do with himself. His addiction was his one and only hobby at that point and he had nothing else in his life. [11:45] Sex addiction is a bit different than a drug addiction. If you do drugs, you’ve relapsed. If you have sex, you have to treat it more like an eating disorder. You have to learn how to have sex in healthy ways so that you don’t spiral out of control. [13:35] People in the LGBTQ community experience a lot of shame and this shame can be used as fuel towards unhealthy and addictive behavior. [16:55] Any child who has been bullied over their sexual orientation holds a lot of shame. This can get compounded and turned into trauma, and that will affect them throughout their adult life. [19:30] Growing up as a young boy in Indiana, Scott always felt out of place. He had no romantic or sexual development while in school because of how conservative his community was. [22:25] What are some of the benefits (and disadvantages) of joining a gay-only or gay-friendly group meetings? [28:15] Like everything else, there are really good therapists and really terrible therapists out there. If you’re curious about seeking help, try a therapist out and see how it feels. RESOURCES: <a href="https://seekingintegrity.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Seekingintegrity.com</a> <a href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/scott-brassart-68355955/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Scott on LinkedIn</a> QUOTES: <ul> <li>“Gay and lesbian people have higher rates of addiction than heterosexual people. I think that may be shame-related more than anything else.”</li> <li>“If you’ve tried to cut back or quit altogether [with sex] and you failed, and you’ve done that multiple times, you’ve lost control.”</li> <li>“If it’s out of control and it’s ruining your life, maybe you should do something about it.”</li> <li>“Growing up gay in America, even today is traumatic and early life trauma breeds shame.”</li> </ul>