This is my first conversation with Mary. Mary is slowly letting me into her life to share her story about her unusual relationship with stuff. She now calls herself a recovering hoarder, and she wants to help others by shining the light on this topic that is very difficult to discuss. Maybe you, too, have an unusual relationship with stuff or know someone who does. You get to be a fly on the wall hearing what until now, she has kept very private.

1: Meet Mary, a Recovering Hoarder

Mary talks about her childhood, her pain of feeling misunderstood  and the shame that brought. She clung to her stuffed toys because she didn't know how to voice her feelings and later turned to shopping to soothe her anxiety.

2: Childhood Unbelonging

Mary came to a crossroad in her adult life when she realized she was out of control. That was 10 years ago.

3: Crossroads

Mary shares her rock bottom low point and discovers that her stuff is getting in the way of living. She also discovers, miraculously, how to start taking better steps.

4: Rock Bottom

Mary shares when she was ready to admit that she was a hoarder, begin the healing process and let people help her. What's the difference between a minimalist (her husband) and a hoarder: someone who is in charge of their stuff and someone who isn't.

5: "I'm a hoarder."

Mary’s epiphany question: Does buying things prove that she exists? Does each item validate her worth and if she lets each item go is it a chip away at her? "As I’ve been healing I realize the ridiculousness. I don’t have the clamor anymore. This is how you react when you make a conscious decision about do I like this or don’t I. Before it was what does this mean about me? Something internally has changed."

6: Epiphany

Mary tells us about going into therapy and getting zapped by a power greater than herself.

7: Therapy + Getting Zapped

Living in her house full of stuff requires armor. What's it like for Mary to keep putting on and taking off the armor to fight the hoarding dragon? Also, what's her husband's perspective on all of her stuff?

8: Fighting the Hoarding Dragon

Mary moves some stuff from her vintage clothing collection out the door.

9: Stuff Out the Door

More about the momentous clear out of Mary's vintage clothing and accessory items and what makes someone worthy of receiving her precious stuff.

10: Stuff Out the Door Part 2

This podcast series is an ongoing conversation with Mary, who calls herself a recovering hoarder. She is willing to share her up-til-now very private life in an effort to be helpful to others, may they be packrats, someone who loves a hoarder or those who just want to understand something that's mystifying to them. We go step by step through the muck, the stuck places, the victories. We don't know when and if she will recover from her "unusual relationship with stuff." Come along with me and cheer Mary on as she does the very hard work of healing. Will she ever let me into her home? Stay tuned.

Lori Koppelman and Mary explore Mary’s journey as a recovering hoarder. Mary’s story is told in a series of gentle conversations which go back and forth in time. Mary is brave and insightful and so honest.  Both Lori and Mary are very easy to listen too and are so kind! I’m so happy for you Mary!! Sending 🥰.

Compassionate and inspiring

I just listened to every podcast from 1-60. I am so inspired by Mary’s transformation. I am a pro-organizer wanting to specialize helping hoarders. I am so relieved to hear Mary’s view on the show Hoarders because I feel that they do not help those folks that need the mental help and support more then the physical. I loved the category&#39;s of stuff that her and her husband came up with. Brilliant! Mary has given me some many great ideas and ways to approach my clients . Thank you Mary for your amazing bravery! You are making a difference in the world! 
sincerely Gail with AllSpaces Organizing in Arizona.

Oh my Mary❤️

Clutter Chronicles 

Mary shares that she has taken advantage of helping resources, such as Learn Do Become, and that has significantly decreased her anxiety. Savvy Cleaner YouTube channelhttps://www.youtube.com/channel/UC8OUzZ0rKHOUZ19em4cEXyQSavvy Cleaner Top 10 Hoarding Resources show:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nrq-Ij4Gzl0Savvy Cleaner Hope for Hoarding show:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Migq11qF-NcLiving Proof Advocacyhttps://www.livingproofadvocacy.comLiving Proof Advocacy Clutter Chronicles blog posthttps://www.livingproofadvocacy.com/blog/2019/1/11/clutter-chronicles-one-womans-journey-through-stuffCharity Water/Scott Harrisonhttps://www.charitywater.orgLearn Do Becomehttps://learndobecome.com

Mary shares that she has taken advantage of helping resources, such as Learn Do Become, and that has significantly decreased her anxiety. Savvy Cleaner YouTube channel<a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC8OUzZ0rKHOUZ19em4cEXyQ" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC8OUzZ0rKHOUZ19em4cEXyQ</a>Savvy Cleaner Top 10 Hoarding Resources show:<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nrq-Ij4Gzl0" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nrq-Ij4Gzl0</a>Savvy Cleaner Hope for Hoarding show:<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Migq11qF-Nc" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Migq11qF-Nc</a>Living Proof Advocacy<a href="https://www.livingproofadvocacy.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.livingproofadvocacy.com</a>Living Proof Advocacy Clutter Chronicles blog post<a href="https://www.livingproofadvocacy.com/blog/2019/1/11/clutter-chronicles-one-womans-journey-through-stuff" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.livingproofadvocacy.com/blog/2019/1/11/clutter-chronicles-one-womans-journey-through-stuff</a>Charity Water/Scott Harrison<a href="https://www.charitywater.org/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.charitywater.org</a>Learn Do Become<a href="https://learndobecome.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://learndobecome.com</a>

57: Learn Do Become Decreases Mary's Anxiety

Today we explore why we settle for things we don’t want.

Today we explore why we settle for things we don’t want.

55: I don't Want It

Today, we get to hear about Mary’s recent breakthrough experiences. It’s some good news today, friends.

22: Breakthroughs

Mary tells us about how she could turn on a dime and ready office space at home for her husband and the strategies she is using with boxes to help calm the chaos.

31: Office Clear Out & Tackle Boxes

In today’s conversation, is it kitty accidents or something else? And is it a disaster or the best thing? 

In today’s conversation, is it kitty accidents or something else? And is it a disaster or the best thing?

53: The Flood

Mary talks about the healing conversations between she and her husband now that the shame, that dirty rotten scoundrel, is beginning to lift. And we discuss the invisible lifesaver that has been critical to her healing.

30: Invisible Lifesaver

Last time. we caught up after several months between recording sessions and heard that Mary no longer had an out-of-control need to keep things. In today’s conversation we talk about how Mary has been learning, along with her preschoolers, how to transition and make better decisions, key skills she’s never learned before.

33: Transition & Decision-Making Muscles

Last time we finished up my momentous visit to Mary’s house. We had set a goal at the beginning our our podcast to let me into her home. Today, we debrief how that visit went for each of us.

20: House Visit Aftermath

Mary is starting to tap resources that are proving quite helpful that she wasn’t ready or able to access before.

39: Tapping into Resources

We discuss why Mary cannot accept help and though she feels like she’s coming back to square one over and over, how she is really and truly changing for good. 

We discuss why Mary cannot accept help and though she feels like she’s coming back to square one over and over, how she is really and truly changing for good.

56: Are We There Yet?

Last time we started processing through the aftermath of my visit to Mary’s house and we had more to explore, so here’s part two of that conversation.

21: House Visit Aftermath Part 2

Mary has discovered the core of her hoarding and it’s the family’s paper memorabilia. Show Notes:Becoming Minimalist 12-week Uncluttered courseSunk cost fallacy is the behavioral economic theory that I was referring to in my example of the shirt I bought and didn’t want to get rid of. The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning, by Margareta MagnussonBarry Schwartz, The Paradox of Choice, Ted talk (2005).Report Confirms No Need to Make New Chairs, The Onion, July 15, 2014

Mary has discovered the core of her hoarding and it’s the family’s paper memorabilia. Show Notes: <a href="https://my.becomingminimalist.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Becoming Minimalist 12-week Uncluttered course</a><a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/anxiety-files/201409/letting-go-sunk-costs" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Sunk cost fallacy</a> is the behavioral economic theory that I was referring to in my example of the shirt I bought and didn’t want to get rid of. <a href="http://www.simonandschuster.com/books/The-Gentle-Art-of-Swedish-Death-Cleaning/Margareta-Magnusson/9781501173240" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning</a>, by Margareta Magnusson<a href="https://www.ted.com/talks/barry_schwartz_on_the_paradox_of_choice" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Barry Schwartz, The Paradox of Choice, Ted talk (2005).</a><a href="https://www.theonion.com/[object%20Object]" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Report Confirms No Need to Make New Chairs</a>, The Onion, July 15, 2014

42: Shredding & Tossing with Abandon

Mary shares the uncomfortable situation going on inside her body and how it relates to her external situation.

43: Hoarding on the Inside

Last time we talked, about three months ago, Mary shared the uncomfortable situation that was going on inside her body and how it related to her external hoarding situation. In today’s conversation, Mary explains the unclogging process, and it's no fun.

44: Unhoarding on the Inside

We discuss how Mary stopped the inflow of stuff into her home by addressing her compulsive shopping habit. Also on deck: Will she or won’t she? Is Mary ready to let me into her home?

16: Taming the Compulsive Shopping Dragon

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