Leading with love, thriving in marriage, while living with MG.

Leading with love, thriving in marriage, while living with MG.

Introducing Untold Stories: Living With MG, a show from iHeartMedia

Welcome to a bonus episode of This is Not What I Ordered! I’m so excited to announce a special upcoming event. It’s called the Abundant Living Conference for therapists with chronic illness and health challenges. We will hear presentations from clinicians Celia Hilson, Amanda Pratt, Andrea Barbour, Becky Robbins, Julie Novas, Michelle Horton, Onyx Fujii, Hayley Quinn, and Emily Whitish. They’ll present topics that range from yoga and self care practices to resilience and preventing burnout. Bonus activities include a therapist social, a healing sound bath, and a special pre-conference tea tasting event. We’ve curated a very soothing weekend for you, and we can’t wait to learn and grow together.  You can register for the Abundant Living Conference at abundantlivingconference.com, or by visiting the podcast website. It’s going to be a lovely weekend, and we hope to see you there.

Welcome to a bonus episode of This is Not What I Ordered! I’m so excited to announce a special upcoming event. It’s called the Abundant Living Conference for therapists with chronic illness and health challenges. We will hear presentations from clinicians Celia Hilson, Amanda Pratt, Andrea Barbour, Becky Robbins, Julie Novas, Michelle Horton, Onyx Fujii, Hayley Quinn, and Emily Whitish. They’ll present topics that range from yoga and self care practices to resilience and preventing burnout. Bonus activities include a therapist social, a healing sound bath, and a special pre-conference tea tasting event. We’ve curated a very soothing weekend for you, and we can’t wait to learn and grow together.  You can register for the Abundant Living Conference at <a href="http://abundantlivingconference.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">abundantlivingconference.com</a>, or by visiting the podcast website. It’s going to be a lovely weekend, and we hope to see you there.

70: The Abundant Living Conference for Therapists, April 8-10

Welcome to the Season 3 Finale! In a year filled with COVID-19, a racial justice movement, wildfires, an election, and now the death of Ruth Bader Ginsburg, this has seemed like so much more than just one year. At this very important moment in time, I am so thankful that we have been able to stay connected through these episodes all along the way.   For today’s finale, we will revisit each episode over the past year, and listen to some key moments from each and my thoughts about them, as well as some updates and messages from many of our guests. I’ll also offer my thanks to all who are involved in producing the podcast, introduce you to some of these talented people, and draw the episode to a close with my ‘State of the Podcast’ address.   This season brought us so many heart-centered moments, and just as many pearls of wisdom from our guests, and I am just delighted to share them once again. Thank you all once more for being a part of this remarkable community – as you will hear repeatedly today, it has come to play a large and valued role in the lives of so many, especially my own.

Welcome to the Season 3 Finale! In a year filled with COVID-19, a racial justice movement, wildfires, an election, and now the death of Ruth Bader Ginsburg, this has seemed like so much more than just one year. At this very important moment in time, I am so thankful that we have been able to stay connected through these episodes all along the way. For today’s finale, we will revisit each episode over the past year, and listen to some key moments from each and my thoughts about them, as well as some updates and messages from many of our guests. I’ll also offer my thanks to all who are involved in producing the podcast, introduce you to some of these talented people, and draw the episode to a close with my ‘State of the Podcast’ address. This season brought us so many heart-centered moments, and just as many pearls of wisdom from our guests, and I am just delighted to share them once again. Thank you all once more for being a part of this remarkable community – as you will hear repeatedly today, it has come to play a large and valued role in the lives of so many, especially my own.

69: Season Three Finale

Courtney Brame

Monica Michelle

Podcasting has brought so much to my life, both as someone who loves hearing others’ stories and as someone who wants to learn from the experiences of others. Hearing an array of experiences is what makes This is Not What I Ordered so powerful to me, and to listeners, as well.   Today’s episode touches a bit on how podcasting is a form of therapy — both for the hosts, the guests, and the listeners. It also combines conversations about podcasting, chronic illness, and life in quarantine with two past guests: Monica Michelle and Courtney Brame. This conversation is full of fun banter and deep, powerful conversations.   What I appreciate most about this conversation is that Monica and Courtney don’t shy away from sharing their own experiences during the pandemic, as well as prior to the pandemic. It’s so important to see how we all experience life through the lenses of our chronic conditions, as well as through our human lenses. I hope you find this conversation as refreshing and insightful as I did.

Podcasting has brought so much to my life, both as someone who loves hearing others’ stories and as someone who wants to learn from the experiences of others. Hearing an array of experiences is what makes This is Not What I Ordered so powerful to me, and to listeners, as well. Today’s episode touches a bit on how podcasting is a form of therapy — both for the hosts, the guests, and the listeners. It also combines conversations about podcasting, chronic illness, and life in quarantine with two past guests: Monica Michelle and Courtney Brame. This conversation is full of fun banter and deep, powerful conversations. What I appreciate most about this conversation is that Monica and Courtney don’t shy away from sharing their own experiences during the pandemic, as well as prior to the pandemic. It’s so important to see how we all experience life through the lenses of our chronic conditions, as well as through our human lenses. I hope you find this conversation as refreshing and insightful as I did.

68: Apart Together with Monica Michelle + Courtney Brame

Today’s episode marks the second part of my conversation with relational therapist, social justice educator, intuitive narrative coach, and social justice consultant for the podcast, Celia Hilson, which we started in Episode 66. As we find ourselves in the midst of a racial justice movement and a pandemic, this special conversation about race is as enlightening as it is necessary. We begin this week’s episode by talking about the nutrients of intergenerational legacy, Celia’s experiences with White women, and my understanding of internalized dominance. Celia shares her hopes for the current focus upon race, injustice, and equality, and we explore how the killing of George Floyd reignites so many past traumas. We conclude our conversation by looking at the complex layers of the construction of race, class, and division, the interplay of oppression, defensiveness, privilege and healing, and the concepts of conscious relationship and undefended loving. World events have rendered this time in history as one ripe for deep analysis of what was once status quo, but can never be so again. In the relational space Celia and I created in this conversation, I am grateful for the openness we were able to share about these profoundly important issues, taking the time to peel back layers of complexity. As you listen in today, I sincerely hope that you will gain greater empathy and understanding, and that you will find the insights shared as valuable and thought provoking as we have.

Today’s episode marks the second part of my conversation with relational therapist, social justice educator, intuitive narrative coach, and social justice consultant for the podcast, Celia Hilson, which we started in Episode 66. As we find ourselves in the midst of a racial justice movement and a pandemic, this special conversation about race is as enlightening as it is necessary. We begin this week’s episode by talking about the nutrients of intergenerational legacy, Celia’s experiences with White women, and my understanding of internalized dominance. Celia shares her hopes for the current focus upon race, injustice, and equality, and we explore how the killing of George Floyd reignites so many past traumas. We conclude our conversation by looking at the complex layers of the construction of race, class, and division, the interplay of oppression, defensiveness, privilege and healing, and the concepts of conscious relationship and undefended loving. World events have rendered this time in history as one ripe for deep analysis of what was once status quo, but can never be so again. In the relational space Celia and I created in this conversation, I am grateful for the openness we were able to share about these profoundly important issues, taking the time to peel back layers of complexity. As you listen in today, I sincerely hope that you will gain greater empathy and understanding, and that you will find the insights shared as valuable and thought provoking as we have.

67: Race + What We Don't Say, Pt. 2

This week I'm sitting with Celia Hilson, who's returned to the podcast after joining me on Season 2 (Episode 28). Celia is a relational therapist, social justice educator, and intuitive narrative coach fostering cross-cultural understanding. She helps clients to heal through remembering and reclaiming lost parts of identities. Celia has joined me over the past few months not only as my friend, but as someone who I recently hired as a social justice consultant for the podcast. As you know, we've been in the midst of a racial justice movement, and in the midst of a pandemic, all that the same time. It's been a really challenging, powerful period for our world. During this time, Celia and I recorded a special conversation talking about race. We created a two-part series of episodes, and this is part one of that conversation. In this week's episode, Celia and I explore the origins of our relationship as friends and social justice educators, and how our racial identities impact how we relate to one another and to the world. Celia shares about her evolving relationship with ancestral, intergenerational trauma and what liberation looks like. She also shares her perspectives on worthiness and building cross-cultural relationships of trust. I hope you enjoy this conversation as we explore some of the themes that are necessary to address in our cultural evolution towards racial justice.

This week I'm sitting with Celia Hilson, who's returned to the podcast after joining me on Season 2 (Episode 28). Celia is a relational therapist, social justice educator, and intuitive narrative coach fostering cross-cultural understanding. She helps clients to heal through remembering and reclaiming lost parts of identities. Celia has joined me over the past few months not only as my friend, but as someone who I recently hired as a social justice consultant for the podcast. As you know, we've been in the midst of a racial justice movement, and in the midst of a pandemic, all that the same time. It's been a really challenging, powerful period for our world. During this time, Celia and I recorded a special conversation talking about race. We created a two-part series of episodes, and this is part one of that conversation. In this week's episode, Celia and I explore the origins of our relationship as friends and social justice educators, and how our racial identities impact how we relate to one another and to the world. Celia shares about her evolving relationship with ancestral, intergenerational trauma and what liberation looks like. She also shares her perspectives on worthiness and building cross-cultural relationships of trust. I hope you enjoy this conversation as we explore some of the themes that are necessary to address in our cultural evolution towards racial justice.

66: Race + What We Don't Say

65: Grieving, Acknowledging + Taking Action

Melissa Platt

Sherry Espinosa

We’ve had couples on the podcast, we’ve had reunions, we’ve had “quarantine chats.” This week, I’m bringing you a friendship “roundtable” with the lovely Sherry Espinoza and Melissa Platt. You may recognize those names because they’ve both been on the podcast before — but not like this. This episode is a lighthearted and sweet chat amongst friends. Sherry and Melissa, who met in the Shine Your Light Mastermind, have become fast friends, and I loved digging into their connection during our chat. We talked about our symptoms, shelter-in-place, cacti, and cats, as well as the mythology of our symptoms. Their friendship is beautiful, but so are their insights on navigating health challenges, quarantine, and life in general. This conversation left me with a “full cup,” and I hope it fills yours, too.

We’ve had couples on the podcast, we’ve had reunions, we’ve had “quarantine chats.” This week, I’m bringing you a friendship “roundtable” with the lovely Sherry Espinoza and Melissa Platt. You may recognize those names because they’ve both been on the podcast before — but not like this. This episode is a lighthearted and sweet chat amongst friends. Sherry and Melissa, who met in the Shine Your Light Mastermind, have become fast friends, and I loved digging into their connection during our chat. We talked about our symptoms, shelter-in-place, cacti, and cats, as well as the mythology of our symptoms. Their friendship is beautiful, but so are their insights on navigating health challenges, quarantine, and life in general. This conversation left me with a “full cup,” and I hope it fills yours, too.

64: Enjoying the Non-Sense with Sherry Espinosa + Melissa Platt

Leo Newman

In this week’s episode of This is Not What I Ordered, I’m taking you along for a little reunion. I recently caught up with Erynn &amp; Leo Newman, who are “frequent flyers” here on the podcast. Leo, who was a guest way back in Episode 11, and his wife Erynn, were the first couple interviewed for the podcast in Episode 32. Married for over 14 years, they’ve weathered their fair share of challenges. I recently checked in on them to see how they’re navigating this new challenge (the current pandemic). In this reunion episode, we talk about Leo’s chronic health struggles and how they’re managing COVID-19 shutdowns as a family. As always, Leo and Erynn share their vulnerability and strength, and their love for one another. We discuss pre-COVID memories, grocery shopping and protective measures they are taking to protect Leo, and their seven-year-old son Hudson even joins us for the end of the episode. This conversation reaffirmed for me that we are all in this together, and that you can still make connections with friends even from a distance.

In this week’s episode of This is Not What I Ordered, I’m taking you along for a little reunion. I recently caught up with Erynn &amp; Leo Newman, who are “frequent flyers” here on the podcast. Leo, who was a guest way back in Episode 11, and his wife Erynn, were the first couple interviewed for the podcast in Episode 32. Married for over 14 years, they’ve weathered their fair share of challenges. I recently checked in on them to see how they’re navigating this new challenge (the current pandemic). In this reunion episode, we talk about Leo’s chronic health struggles and how they’re managing COVID-19 shutdowns as a family. As always, Leo and Erynn share their vulnerability and strength, and their love for one another. We discuss pre-COVID memories, grocery shopping and protective measures they are taking to protect Leo, and their seven-year-old son Hudson even joins us for the end of the episode. This conversation reaffirmed for me that we are all in this together, and that you can still make connections with friends even from a distance.

63: No One Else I'd Rather Be With with Erynn + Leo Newman

Latasha Doyle

Lily Sloane

Today’s episode is a bit different than most of the ones you’ll hear on This is Not What I Ordered. Instead of an interview with a single guest or couple, I was able to connect with Lily Sloane and Latasha Doyle, two of the people on our podcast team. In light of everything going on in the world, and with heightened anxiety and worry for many in the chronic illness community, we decided to discuss how we’re navigating this uncharted territory. While grief, anger, and concern over our own health and safety were all discussed, we also talked about the beauty that has come from self-isolation.  Each of us shares a bit of our struggles, as well as what we’re really thankful for in times like this. We also talk about how these events are elevating our experiences with our bodies, and calling us to really turn to the tools we’ve already built up to take care of ourselves.  I know that many of you are trying to process the effects of this pandemic in your own life, and I hope this conversation shows you that you’re definitely not alone in this community.

Today’s episode is a bit different than most of the ones you’ll hear on This is Not What I Ordered. Instead of an interview with a single guest or couple, I was able to connect with Lily Sloane and Latasha Doyle, two of the people on our podcast team. In light of everything going on in the world, and with heightened anxiety and worry for many in the chronic illness community, we decided to discuss how we’re navigating this uncharted territory. While grief, anger, and concern over our own health and safety were all discussed, we also talked about the beauty that has come from self-isolation.  Each of us shares a bit of our struggles, as well as what we’re really thankful for in times like this. We also talk about how these events are elevating our experiences with our bodies, and calling us to really turn to the tools we’ve already built up to take care of ourselves.  I know that many of you are trying to process the effects of this pandemic in your own life, and I hope this conversation shows you that you’re definitely not alone in this community.

62: Chronic Quarantine Life with Latasha Doyle + Lily Sloane

Chronic illness and other health challenges can be a real bummer--but they don't have to be the end of joy and fulfillment. It turns out we can still have epic lives, even when our bodies have plans of their own. Join San Francisco psychotherapist Lauren Selfridge for honest, humorous, and inspiring conversations with people who get what it's like to live with health challenges. Whether you're in the car, on a walk, in the waiting room, or lying in bed, we'll be here to keep you company along the way.

A wonderfully therapeutic and warm podcast for those with chronic illness.

Well produced and deeply comforting

Thoughtful, interesting and engaging. I also love the host’s voice! ;)

Love it

This is Not What I Ordered: a podcast on full-hearted living with chronic illness + health challenges

Allison Puryear

Allison Puryear has a lot on her plate. She's a mom to a toddler and a kindergartener and a partner to a man she assures me is the best on the planet. Her private practice consulting firm, Abundance Practice-Building, has helped tens of thousands of people in over 30 countries. Allison also owns a thriving therapy practice. In the midst of building this life, or as she says, maybe because of building this life, she was diagnosed with Hashimoto's Thyroiditis last year. She's new to this diagnosis and, as we discuss, learning to balance the necessary rest with her natural drive, playing with a shifting identity, and truly prioritizing the important relationships in her life. You can read the full show notes at www.thisisnotwhatiordered.com

Allison Puryear has a lot on her plate. She's a mom to a toddler and a kindergartener and a partner to a man she assures me is the best on the planet. Her private practice consulting firm, <a href="https://abundancepracticebuilding.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Abundance Practice-Building</a>, has helped tens of thousands of people in over 30 countries. Allison also owns a thriving therapy practice. In the midst of building this life, or as she says, maybe because of building this life, she was diagnosed with Hashimoto's Thyroiditis last year. She's new to this diagnosis and, as we discuss, learning to balance the necessary rest with her natural drive, playing with a shifting identity, and truly prioritizing the important relationships in her life. You can read the full show notes at <a href="http://www.thisisnotwhatiordered.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.thisisnotwhatiordered.com</a>

27: Entrepreneurship + Chronic Illness with Allison Puryear

On the Season Three premiere of This Is Not What I Ordered, I sit down with April Snow as she shares how her life-long health journey with eczema and high sensitivity has taught her how to live an authentic life without guilt. April is a psychotherapist and Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) who encourages others to embrace their own sensitive superpowers through mindfulness, self-reflection, and self-care strategies. Her experiences with chronic illness and sensitivity helped create the foundation for her psychotherapy practice, Expansive Heart, where she’s able to support other highly sensitive people as they learn to let go of self-doubt and prioritize themselves. April’s passion for self-advocacy and her ability to see the unique blessings of her health challenges is inspiring. During this episode, she opens up about how being highly sensitive has helped her understand her illness, the importance of self-acceptance in the healing process, and how she’s learned to create boundaries along the way.

On the Season Three premiere of This Is Not What I Ordered, I sit down with April Snow as she shares how her life-long health journey with eczema and high sensitivity has taught her how to live an authentic life without guilt. April is a psychotherapist and Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) who encourages others to embrace their own sensitive superpowers through mindfulness, self-reflection, and self-care strategies. Her experiences with chronic illness and sensitivity helped create the foundation for her psychotherapy practice, Expansive Heart, where she’s able to support other highly sensitive people as they learn to let go of self-doubt and prioritize themselves. April’s passion for self-advocacy and her ability to see the unique blessings of her health challenges is inspiring. During this episode, she opens up about how being highly sensitive has helped her understand her illness, the importance of self-acceptance in the healing process, and how she’s learned to create boundaries along the way.

45: Highly Sensitive + Thriving with April Snow

Nick P. Ross is a writer, producer, and director in Los Angeles, and he's a super fun guy to chat with. He creates a lot of content for Soul Pancake, a YouTube channel and creative agency known for asking life’s BIG questions. Nick also had cancer (Hodgkin’s Lymphoma) when he was 26. He's ten years post-treatment this year. In this episode, we talk about the comedy that came from one of life's biggest challenges, and think together about some of his poignant and funny moments along the way. You can read the full show notes at www.thisisnotwhatiordered.com

Nick P. Ross is a writer, producer, and director in Los Angeles, and he's a super fun guy to chat with. He creates a lot of content for Soul Pancake, a YouTube channel and creative agency known for asking life’s BIG questions. Nick also had cancer (Hodgkin’s Lymphoma) when he was 26. He's ten years post-treatment this year. In this episode, we talk about the comedy that came from one of life's biggest challenges, and think together about some of his poignant and funny moments along the way. You can read the full show notes at <a href="http://www.thisisnotwhatiordered.com" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank">www.thisisnotwhatiordered.com</a>

03: Cancer + Comedy with Nick P. Ross

Tara Cameron

Tara Cameron is a practitioner of East Asian medicine, functional nutritionist and licensed massage therapist based in Kirkland Washington, and is also a doctoral candidate for acupuncture and herbal medicine. Tara struggled with eczema from early childhood, later developing chronic pain and anxiety. More recently, she has had to contend with Red Skin Syndrome, a form of withdrawal from the topical steroids she'd long used to treat her eczema. In this interview, she discusses how her physical ailments have impacted her professional and personal well-being, as well as how she has embraced these conditions to improve her self-image, becoming an even more effective practitioner for her patients. You can read the full show notes at www.thisisnotwhatiordered.com   This episode contains discussion of depression and suicidal ideation. If you're feeling distressed, we advise you contact the National Suicide Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 or SuicidePreventionLifeline.org.

Tara Cameron is a practitioner of East Asian medicine, functional nutritionist and licensed massage therapist based in Kirkland Washington, and is also a doctoral candidate for acupuncture and herbal medicine. Tara struggled with eczema from early childhood, later developing chronic pain and anxiety. More recently, she has had to contend with Red Skin Syndrome, a form of withdrawal from the topical steroids she'd long used to treat her eczema. In this interview, she discusses how her physical ailments have impacted her professional and personal well-being, as well as how she has embraced these conditions to improve her self-image, becoming an even more effective practitioner for her patients. You can read the full show notes at <a href="http://www.asdasd.weaw" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.thisisnotwhatiordered.com</a>   This episode contains discussion of depression and suicidal ideation. If you're feeling distressed, we advise you contact the National Suicide Lifeline at <a rel="noopener">1-800-273-8255</a> or <a href="http://suicidepreventionlifeline.org./" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank">SuicidePreventionLifeline.org.</a>

04: You Are More Than Just Your Skin with Tara Cameron

Natalie Enright

In this episode, I am so excited to share my chat with Natalie Enright, an Adult Services Librarian living in San Francisco.    Natalie, who has multiple sclerosis, was first diagnosed in 2010. She attributes her early diagnosis to her husband. After seeing a decline in Natalie’s health, he encouraged her to go to the doctor without making her feel scared or overwhelmed, for which she is so thankful. Since her initial diagnosis, Natalie has not only worked to figure out how to manage and navigate her disease, but to also find the humor in the not-so-pleasant changes that come with MS.    During our talk, Natalie discussed how her attitude plays a large role in how she gets through some of the tougher times with this condition. Two of her passions, meditation and physical activity, have also helped her to stay upbeat and focused on her goals; one of which was to graduate and start her career as a librarian. Now, as a professional librarian, her excitement for her career is palpable, and I have so much admiration for her love for her work.   I was so honored to hear Natalie’s story (and humor) during our chat, and I know that so much of what she shared can benefit many in this community. I hope you’ll tune in to hear the full episode!

In this episode, I am so excited to share my chat with Natalie Enright, an Adult Services Librarian living in San Francisco.  Natalie, who has multiple sclerosis, was first diagnosed in 2010. She attributes her early diagnosis to her husband. After seeing a decline in Natalie’s health, he encouraged her to go to the doctor without making her feel scared or overwhelmed, for which she is so thankful. Since her initial diagnosis, Natalie has not only worked to figure out how to manage and navigate her disease, but to also find the humor in the not-so-pleasant changes that come with MS.  During our talk, Natalie discussed how her attitude plays a large role in how she gets through some of the tougher times with this condition. Two of her passions, meditation and physical activity, have also helped her to stay upbeat and focused on her goals; one of which was to graduate and start her career as a librarian. Now, as a professional librarian, her excitement for her career is palpable, and I have so much admiration for her love for her work. I was so honored to hear Natalie’s story (and humor) during our chat, and I know that so much of what she shared can benefit many in this community. I hope you’ll tune in to hear the full episode!

52: You Don't Have to Apologize with Natalie Enright

For this episode of Not What I Ordered, I’m joined by my amazing music editor and close friend, Lily Sloane. Lily is a therapist, composer, audio producer, and host of a weekly advice show with a deep passion for making the world a better place through self-healing. Learning to live with and accept her health challenges through therapy has helped her find comfort in the unknown, which she then channels into her own practice. By tearing down the notion of “perfect health”, Lily is able to help her clients -- and herself -- open the door to gratitude.Lily shows true vulnerability as she opens up about the shame and dogma attached to chronic illness, as well as how she learned to live with her illness without needing to know what it is. She also shares how therapy has taught her to accept where she is on her health journey instead of where she’d like to be -- or where anyone else expects her to be! By transforming her perspective, Lily was able to change her inner narrative, shed her need to fix everything, and learn to sit with her discomfort. Her story is a much-needed reminder that it’s okay to not have all the answers. Throughout her journey, she has learned that in order to make a change in the world around us, we must first make a change within ourselves. My open-heart discussion with Lily is full of powerful insights on making more space for acceptance and how embracing the unknown can lead to a more empowered life. I hope you enjoy our talk as much as I did!

For this episode of Not What I Ordered, I’m joined by my amazing music editor and close friend, Lily Sloane. Lily is a therapist, composer, audio producer, and host of a weekly advice show with a deep passion for making the world a better place through self-healing. Learning to live with and accept her health challenges through therapy has helped her find comfort in the unknown, which she then channels into her own practice. By tearing down the notion of “perfect health”, Lily is able to help her clients -- and herself -- open the door to gratitude.Lily shows true vulnerability as she opens up about the shame and dogma attached to chronic illness, as well as how she learned to live with her illness without needing to know what it is. She also shares how therapy has taught her to accept where she is on her health journey instead of where she’d like to be -- or where anyone else expects her to be! By transforming her perspective, Lily was able to change her inner narrative, shed her need to fix everything, and learn to sit with her discomfort. Her story is a much-needed reminder that it’s okay to not have all the answers. Throughout her journey, she has learned that in order to make a change in the world around us, we must first make a change within ourselves. My open-heart discussion with Lily is full of powerful insights on making more space for acceptance and how embracing the unknown can lead to a more empowered life. I hope you enjoy our talk as much as I did!

48: Releasing Perfectionism with Lily Sloane

Kristina Sarkisova

Coming to terms with chronic illness is something we’re all trying to do. Kristina Sarkisova is on the podcast this week talking about her journey to acceptance, and what the process has looked (and felt) like.    Her diagnosis of Lyme disease was a long time coming, and even now she’s not entirely sure it’s the perfect fit for her specific symptoms and situation. But it’s enough for her. So many of us can relate to the need for a diagnosis — just to have something explained. Unfortunately, many of us don’t have that. So how can you be “OK” with the unknowns?   Kristina speaks about navigating that uncertainty, as well as what it feels like to grieve the changes that take place in your life. She also spoke about the struggle between identifying as a person with disabilities and a musician, when she hasn’t been able to practice her musical talents recently. There’s a push and pull there we can all relate to — who we were and what we wanted for ourselves before and what we do now.    This is a great conversation about how health challenges impact our identities, and how we can learn to love ourselves in any situation.

Coming to terms with chronic illness is something we’re all trying to do. Kristina Sarkisova is on the podcast this week talking about her journey to acceptance, and what the process has looked (and felt) like.  Her diagnosis of Lyme disease was a long time coming, and even now she’s not entirely sure it’s the perfect fit for her specific symptoms and situation. But it’s enough for her. So many of us can relate to the need for a diagnosis — just to have something explained. Unfortunately, many of us don’t have that. So how can you be “OK” with the unknowns? Kristina speaks about navigating that uncertainty, as well as what it feels like to grieve the changes that take place in your life. She also spoke about the struggle between identifying as a person with disabilities and a musician, when she hasn’t been able to practice her musical talents recently. There’s a push and pull there we can all relate to — who we were and what we wanted for ourselves before and what we do now.  This is a great conversation about how health challenges impact our identities, and how we can learn to love ourselves in any situation.

61: It's OK If You're Not OK with Kristina Sarkisova

Rhonie McBerry

Rhonie McBerry is a licensed radiation therapist providing care to those living with cancer, and she's the author of Embracing a New Normal: Words That Surround Your Soul devotionals. Rhonie learned to embrace a new normal after being diagnosed with Crohn’s disease in June of 2014 and now uses the power of words to encourage others to see past their darkest days and toward a brighter horizon. In this episode, Rhonie talks about the concept of devotional writing, using modern dance as a means to enhance and commune with her faith, and the importance of carving out a “happy place” for oneself in their daily routine. We also discuss cupcakes and the necessity of little indulgences. You can read the full show notes at www.thisisnotwhatiordered.com

Rhonie McBerry is a licensed radiation therapist providing care to those living with cancer, and she's the author of Embracing a New Normal: Words That Surround Your Soul devotionals. Rhonie learned to embrace a new normal after being diagnosed with Crohn’s disease in June of 2014 and now uses the power of words to encourage others to see past their darkest days and toward a brighter horizon. In this episode, Rhonie talks about the concept of devotional writing, using modern dance as a means to enhance and commune with her faith, and the importance of carving out a “happy place” for oneself in their daily routine. We also discuss cupcakes and the necessity of little indulgences. You can read the full show notes at <a href="http://www.thisisnotwhatiordered.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.thisisnotwhatiordered.com</a>

17: Embracing a New Normal with Rhonie McBerry

Sheryl Chan

In this episode of This Is Not What I Ordered, I’m joined by Sheryl Chan — a web developer, writer, and travel enthusiast living with multiple chronic illnesses. Suffering from a mild stroke at the age of 14, Sheryl was diagnosed with a rare blood clotting syndrome that set off a chain reaction of other autoimmune disorders including lupus, epilepsy, Sjögren’s syndrome, and a heart rhythm disorder. In the midst of her health challenges, Sheryl embraced her love of writing and started using blogs as a cathartic outlet. This eventually led to the creation of A Chronic Voice, where she’s able to raise awareness of silent disabilities and give other people with chronic illness a space to share their perspectives.By accepting her health challenges and freely sharing them with the world, Sheryl has taken the power away from her illness and reclaimed it as her own. She reminds us that acceptance doesn’t mean you’re giving up — it can be a powerful opportunity for transformation and inner growth.During our time together, Sheryl offers up her thoughts on why it’s so important to normalize chronic illness and gain different perspectives. She also opens up about the identity struggles that accompany chronic illness, how it taught her to respect her body, and how having a sense of wonder about the body has helped her cope.

In this episode of This Is Not What I Ordered, I’m joined by Sheryl Chan — a web developer, writer, and travel enthusiast living with multiple chronic illnesses. Suffering from a mild stroke at the age of 14, Sheryl was diagnosed with a rare blood clotting syndrome that set off a chain reaction of other autoimmune disorders including lupus, epilepsy, Sjögren’s syndrome, and a heart rhythm disorder. In the midst of her health challenges, Sheryl embraced her love of writing and started using blogs as a cathartic outlet. This eventually led to the creation of A Chronic Voice, where she’s able to raise awareness of silent disabilities and give other people with chronic illness a space to share their <a href="http://perspectives.By" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">perspectives.By</a> accepting her health challenges and freely sharing them with the world, Sheryl has taken the power away from her illness and reclaimed it as her own. She reminds us that acceptance doesn’t mean you’re giving up — it can be a powerful opportunity for transformation and inner growth.During our time together, Sheryl offers up her thoughts on why it’s so important to normalize chronic illness and gain different perspectives. She also opens up about the identity struggles that accompany chronic illness, how it taught her to respect her body, and how having a sense of wonder about the body has helped her cope.

47: Acceptance is Power with Sheryl Chan

Monica Ramil

San Francisco native Monica Ramil is an Associate Marriage and Family Therapist. She began her path as a psychotherapist shortly after being hospitalized for acute disseminated encephalomyelitis (ADEM). She underwent aggressive treatments in the ICU and a complication left her temporarily blind. Monica says her illness had a profound impact on her life and relationships while shifting the way she sees illness and disability.  In this conversation, Monica discusses some of the more difficult parts of her medical journey and how they’ve actually helped her feel more gratitude for the connections she has with others.  Her willingness to both explore the darkness and glean the light from her experiences is a mark of her resilience and introspection.  You can read the full show notes at www.thisisnotwhatiordered.com

San Francisco native Monica Ramil is an Associate Marriage and Family Therapist. She began her path as a psychotherapist shortly after being hospitalized for acute disseminated encephalomyelitis (ADEM). She underwent aggressive treatments in the ICU and a complication left her temporarily blind. Monica says her illness had a profound impact on her life and relationships while shifting the way she sees illness and disability. In this conversation, Monica discusses some of the more difficult parts of her medical journey and how they’ve actually helped her feel more gratitude for the connections she has with others.  Her willingness to both explore the darkness and glean the light from her experiences is a mark of her resilience and introspection. You can read the full show notes at <a href="http://www.thisisnotwhatiordered.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.thisisnotwhatiordered.com</a>

15: Loneliness + True Connection with Monica Ramil

Lauren Selfridge

Today I'd like to chat with you about why everything about you is worthy of love. I'll share some of the recent difficult and beautiful moments in my health journey, and the steps I took to transform a challenging experience by practicing acceptance and kindness towards myself. This episode was recorded live from a Facebook broadcast in The Podcast Cafe: an online community where "This Is Not What I Ordered" listeners gather and connect. I spend time thinking with listeners who submitted comments while tuned in to the broadcast, some of which came courtesy of one of our earliest guests, Tara Cameron (Episode 4). Together, let's reflect on treating every part of yourself kindly—even the parts you may not be a fan of—and bringing a welcoming spirit to all that arises in you.      You can read the full show notes at www.thisisnotwhatiordered.com

Today I'd like to chat with you about why everything about you is worthy of love. I'll share some of the recent difficult and beautiful moments in my health journey, and the steps I took to transform a challenging experience by practicing acceptance and kindness towards myself. This episode was recorded live from a Facebook broadcast in The Podcast Cafe: an online community where "This Is Not What I Ordered" listeners gather and connect. I spend time thinking with listeners who submitted comments while tuned in to the broadcast, some of which came courtesy of one of our earliest guests, Tara Cameron (Episode 4). Together, let's reflect on treating every part of yourself kindly—even the parts you may not be a fan of—and bringing a welcoming spirit to all that arises in you. You can read the full show notes at <a href="http://www.thisisnotwhatiordered.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.thisisnotwhatiordered.com</a>

13: Everything About You Is Worthy of Love with Lauren Selfridge

In this episode, I interview Monica Michelle, a children’s book writer, illustrator, and mother of two living with fibromyalgia and Ehlers-Danlos syndrome. A passionate artist, photographer, and author, Monica is truly a woman of many talents. She now hosts the Invisible Not Broken podcast, as well as I Can’t Believe That Happened -- a history podcast for kids and curious grownups.Monica has lived with chronic illness from a young age but she’s never let that dampen her humorous and creative spirit. Embracing the impermanence of life and using her failures as lessons, she’s mastered the art of picking up the pieces and moving on without losing her core role of storyteller. Monica discusses how her lifelong struggle with chronic illness and the realization that there are no guarantees have led her to fearlessly chase her dreams. She explores how her journey has given her remarkable resilience and an unshakable faith in herself. During our colorful conversation, Monica opens up on using humor as a survival mechanism, how she focuses on her true passions to find her core, and she offers creative parenting tips on how she’s raising her kids to be more empathetic.

In this episode, I interview Monica Michelle, a children’s book writer, illustrator, and mother of two living with fibromyalgia and Ehlers-Danlos syndrome. A passionate artist, photographer, and author, Monica is truly a woman of many talents. She now hosts the Invisible Not Broken podcast, as well as I Can’t Believe That Happened -- a history podcast for kids and curious grownups.Monica has lived with chronic illness from a young age but she’s never let that dampen her humorous and creative spirit. Embracing the impermanence of life and using her failures as lessons, she’s mastered the art of picking up the pieces and moving on without losing her core role of storyteller. Monica discusses how her lifelong struggle with chronic illness and the realization that there are no guarantees have led her to fearlessly chase her dreams. She explores how her journey has given her remarkable resilience and an unshakable faith in herself. During our colorful conversation, Monica opens up on using humor as a survival mechanism, how she focuses on her true passions to find her core, and she offers creative parenting tips on how she’s raising her kids to be more empathetic.

41: Evolving Dreams With Ehlers-Danlos with Monica Michelle

Michelle Horton

In this episode, I’m joined by Michelle Horton, a close friend and fellow therapist.   In the middle of finishing grad school and planning a wedding, Michelle went in for a routine blood test, which showed an abnormally high platelet count. After this finding, a whirlwind of tests and doctors determined that she had essential thrombocytosis and endometriosis. She was 23.    After that, Michelle had to learn how to stand in the uncertainty that her new diagnoses brought with them. Could she have a regular life? Could she have children? Ten years later, Michelle is working as a licensed therapist and is a mother to her 19-month-old son.    There have been definite struggles over the last decade, she shares, but she’s learned a thing or two along the way (some of which she shares with us in this episode). She has an inner light that her health challenges haven’t diminished and, if anything, have only made stronger. During our chat, Michelle walked me through some of the tools she’s used over the last decade to support herself and overcome the uncertainty — tools I think all of us can use.    Michelle and I connected most over the idea of “not knowing,” over the questions and challenges we both face. Despite our different conditions, our experiences have linked us together in a way that I’m excited to share with all of you. I also hope you’ll be as inspired by Michelle as I am.

In this episode, I’m joined by Michelle Horton, a close friend and fellow therapist. In the middle of finishing grad school and planning a wedding, Michelle went in for a routine blood test, which showed an abnormally high platelet count. After this finding, a whirlwind of tests and doctors determined that she had essential thrombocytosis and endometriosis. She was 23.  After that, Michelle had to learn how to stand in the uncertainty that her new diagnoses brought with them. Could she have a regular life? Could she have children? Ten years later, Michelle is working as a licensed therapist and is a mother to her 19-month-old son.  There have been definite struggles over the last decade, she shares, but she’s learned a thing or two along the way (some of which she shares with us in this episode). She has an inner light that her health challenges haven’t diminished and, if anything, have only made stronger. During our chat, Michelle walked me through some of the tools she’s used over the last decade to support herself and overcome the uncertainty — tools I think all of us can use.  Michelle and I connected most over the idea of “not knowing,” over the questions and challenges we both face. Despite our different conditions, our experiences have linked us together in a way that I’m excited to share with all of you. I also hope you’ll be as inspired by Michelle as I am.

55: Sitting with the Unknown with Michelle Horton

Emily Whitish

This week, I change with Emily Whitish, a psychotherapist practicing in Gig Harbor, WA. Emily works with people with medical conditions, injury, and disability and she herself was diagnosed with Crohn’s disease five years ago. In her life and work, she notices how illness reveals all the unworkable and stuck places in our lives, and gives us an opportunity to change the way we see ourselves, our relationships, and our bigger purpose. She loves helping her clients see illness as an invitation to move towards a more rich and meaningful life. In this episode, we hear more about how Crohn’s disease did this for Emily. You can read the full show notes at www.thisisnotwhatiordered.com

This week, I change with Emily Whitish, a psychotherapist practicing in Gig Harbor, WA. Emily works with people with medical conditions, injury, and disability and she herself was diagnosed with Crohn’s disease five years ago. In her life and work, she notices how illness reveals all the unworkable and stuck places in our lives, and gives us an opportunity to change the way we see ourselves, our relationships, and our bigger purpose. She loves helping her clients see illness as an invitation to move towards a more rich and meaningful life. In this episode, we hear more about how Crohn’s disease did this for Emily. You can read the full show notes at <a href="http://www.thisisnotwhatiordered.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.thisisnotwhatiordered.com</a>

34: Illness as a Spiritual Guide with Emily Whitish

Jasmine Szantyr

Jasmine Szantyr is a chronic illness blogger &amp; advocate, founder of a production company with her husband, and loving dog mom. Embracing her life with an autoimmune disorder, she used her unique blend of holistic healing and radiant positivity in the face of disbelief to create DrugFreeSpoonie.com -- a blog detailing her health journey with Lyme disease with as few prescription drugs as possible. In this episode, Jasmine discusses how her challenges with Lyme led her on a journey to finding community, mourning her old life, confronting that grief, and overcoming doubts about her illness. She recounts her frustrations with the years-long process of getting a diagnosis, how impactful a chronic illness can be on relationships, and the importance of trusting your intuition. You can read the full show notes at www.thisisnotwhatiordered.com

Jasmine Szantyr is a chronic illness blogger &amp; advocate, founder of a production company with her husband, and loving dog mom. Embracing her life with an autoimmune disorder, she used her unique blend of holistic healing and radiant positivity in the face of disbelief to create <a href="http://DrugFreeSpoonie.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">DrugFreeSpoonie.com</a> -- a blog detailing her health journey with Lyme disease with as few prescription drugs as possible. In this episode, Jasmine discusses how her challenges with Lyme led her on a journey to finding community, mourning her old life, confronting that grief, and overcoming doubts about her illness. She recounts her frustrations with the years-long process of getting a diagnosis, how impactful a chronic illness can be on relationships, and the importance of trusting your intuition. You can read the full show notes at <a href="http://www.thisisnotwhatiordered.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.thisisnotwhatiordered.com</a>

35: Building Spoonie Friendships with Jasmine Szantyr

Andy McLellan

In this episode, I’m joined by Andy McLellan, a haiku poet and trainee Zen priest living in Canterbury, UK.   Nearly 25 years ago, when Andy was in the midst of obtaining his PhD, he began experiencing symptoms he assumed were associated with stress. Shortly after graduating, however, he came down with glandular fever and collapsed, never fully recovering.   Over the next 20 years, Andy would receive a diagnosis of myalgic encephalomyelitis (ME) and navigate an entirely new learning curve: how to organize his life in a way that would allow him to balance his chronic illness and start a family.    Despite knowing the signs and symptoms and understanding that he would need to slow down and take care of himself, he suffered a major crash 5 years ago which has caused him to be largely confined to his bed.   However, that doesn’t stop Andy from finding joy in the simple things: squirrels right outside his bedroom door, knitting, writing beautiful haiku poetry. It’s evident throughout our chat that Andy has not allowed his chronic illness to alter his positivity. If anything, it has buoyed it.    I felt a powerful connection to Andy, and we were both reminded just how impactful it can be to sit with people who just get it. As individuals navigating our chronic illnesses, we can connect with each other and not have to over-explain, or judge. We just take these illnesses for what they are and support one another fully.   This conversation with Andy proved a testament to resilience. He is truly an inspiration to me, and I hope to all of you.

In this episode, I’m joined by Andy McLellan, a haiku poet and trainee Zen priest living in Canterbury, UK. Nearly 25 years ago, when Andy was in the midst of obtaining his PhD, he began experiencing symptoms he assumed were associated with stress. Shortly after graduating, however, he came down with glandular fever and collapsed, never fully recovering. Over the next 20 years, Andy would receive a diagnosis of myalgic encephalomyelitis (ME) and navigate an entirely new learning curve: how to organize his life in a way that would allow him to balance his chronic illness and start a family.  Despite knowing the signs and symptoms and understanding that he would need to slow down and take care of himself, he suffered a major crash 5 years ago which has caused him to be largely confined to his bed. However, that doesn’t stop Andy from finding joy in the simple things: squirrels right outside his bedroom door, knitting, writing beautiful haiku poetry. It’s evident throughout our chat that Andy has not allowed his chronic illness to alter his positivity. If anything, it has buoyed it.  I felt a powerful connection to Andy, and we were both reminded just how impactful it can be to sit with people who just get it. As individuals navigating our chronic illnesses, we can connect with each other and not have to over-explain, or judge. We just take these illnesses for what they are and support one another fully. This conversation with Andy proved a testament to resilience. He is truly an inspiration to me, and I hope to all of you.

57: Solitude + Connection with Andy McLellan

Romina Pacheco

Born in Venezuela, Romina Pacheco is a social justice educator currently based in New Mexico. She is also a wife, mother and thyroid cancer survivor who has been living with chronic fatigue since 2012. She's determined to live life to the fullest, even if it means taking time out to recuperate. She feels blessed for having a supportive community and takes pride in her ability to be assertive, advocate for herself, and seize the opportunities afforded to her. In this episode, she discusses the importance of finding balance between work and lifestyle, how knowledge allowed her to get a handle on her fear, and why she wears her scar as a badge of pride. You can read the full show notes at www.thisisnotwhatiordered.com

Born in Venezuela, Romina Pacheco is a social justice educator currently based in New Mexico. She is also a wife, mother and thyroid cancer survivor who has been living with chronic fatigue since 2012. She's determined to live life to the fullest, even if it means taking time out to recuperate. She feels blessed for having a supportive community and takes pride in her ability to be assertive, advocate for herself, and seize the opportunities afforded to her. In this episode, she discusses the importance of finding balance between work and lifestyle, how knowledge allowed her to get a handle on her fear, and why she wears her scar as a badge of pride. You can read the full show notes at <a href="http://www.ThisIs" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.thisisnotwhatiordered.com</a>

06: When Scars Connect Us with Romina Pacheco

In this episode, I’m joined by Sherry Espinosa for an insightful and full-hearted discussion about how she got more comfortable with her health challenges and started letting faith guide her journey. I met Sherry through the Shine Your Light mastermind I hosted earlier this year, where she conquered her fears and stepped back into the world to build authentic relationships with others. Over the course of her health journey, she’s undergone a major shift from searching for all of the answers to realizing that the answers were inside of her the entire time — all she had to do was stop fighting and learn to love her own heart.Living with Multiple Sclerosis and low vision, Sherry bravely opens up about the ups and downs of her winding health journey. She’s had to process multiple rare diagnoses from an early age, eventually losing most of her sight after years of medication and surgeries. During the process, she learned that by denying the pain and anger she was feeling, she was also denying a part of herself. When she realized she didn’t need to understand everything, she handed the reins over to faith and started giving herself permission to feel. Whether it’s pain, sadness, or anger, she shares a powerful message we all need to hear: Your feelings aren’t going to kill you. Sherry embodies pure love as she urges us to be gentle with ourselves and really listen to what our bodies and spirit are telling us. She is a shining example of the positive transformation that can happen when we welcome the fatigue, pain, and emotions that come with chronic illness. Our chat was a breath of fresh air and a reminder that the real healing begins when we stop being so hard on ourselves. During our chat, Sherry and I dig into our shared MS diagnosis, as well as the deep impacts her health journey has had on how she views herself. For Sherry, living with multiple health challenges has allowed her to be more authentic and shown her she has the inner strength to handle anything.

In this episode, I’m joined by Sherry Espinosa for an insightful and full-hearted discussion about how she got more comfortable with her health challenges and started letting faith guide her journey. I met Sherry through the Shine Your Light mastermind I hosted earlier this year, where she conquered her fears and stepped back into the world to build authentic relationships with others. Over the course of her health journey, she’s undergone a major shift from searching for all of the answers to realizing that the answers were inside of her the entire time — all she had to do was stop fighting and learn to love her own heart.Living with Multiple Sclerosis and low vision, Sherry bravely opens up about the ups and downs of her winding health journey. She’s had to process multiple rare diagnoses from an early age, eventually losing most of her sight after years of medication and surgeries. During the process, she learned that by denying the pain and anger she was feeling, she was also denying a part of herself. When she realized she didn’t need to understand everything, she handed the reins over to faith and started giving herself permission to feel. Whether it’s pain, sadness, or anger, she shares a powerful message we all need to hear: Your feelings aren’t going to kill you. Sherry embodies pure love as she urges us to be gentle with ourselves and really listen to what our bodies and spirit are telling us. She is a shining example of the positive transformation that can happen when we welcome the fatigue, pain, and emotions that come with chronic illness. Our chat was a breath of fresh air and a reminder that the real healing begins when we stop being so hard on ourselves. During our chat, Sherry and I dig into our shared MS diagnosis, as well as the deep impacts her health journey has had on how she views herself. For Sherry, living with multiple health challenges has allowed her to be more authentic and shown her she has the inner strength to handle anything.

49: Learning to Love My Own Heart with Sherry Espinosa

The best podcast episodes about true crime. For any thrill seeking podcast listeners who just can't get enough of the captivating stories of murderers and criminals. This topic has all the best episodes from many different true crime podcasts.  Add episodes you're interested into your queue below!

Best True Crime Podcasts

The best podcasts about ourselves as well as the world through the lense of Science. Specific topics include things about our brain, emotions to biology, physics and more!