Renee Carlson

The Sober Witch talks about the power of being vulnerable and all of the wonderful things that have fallen into place since she decided to share her real self.

The Sober Witch talks about the power of being vulnerable and all of the wonderful things that have fallen into place since she decided to share her real self.

#40 - Letting Go To Find Yourself, with Renee Carlson

Judy Hughes

You can create a life out of your passions! Listen to how my guest has built as business around doing what she loves.

You can create a life out of your passions! Listen to how my guest has built as business around doing what she loves.

#39 - Living A Life of Travel and Adventure with Judy Hughes

Dawn Davis

Dr. Dawn Davis, author of "Mom As You Are," rants about the "bust through" approach to yoga and shares her thoughts on self-care and the method she created called M-I-N-D-F-U-L.

Dr. Dawn Davis, author of "Mom As You Are," rants about the "bust through" approach to yoga and shares her thoughts on self-care and the method she created called M-I-N-D-F-U-L.

#38 - Yoga Is Not A Weapon, with Dr. Dawn Davis

Rene Carlson

The Sober Witch, Rene Carlson, shares her journey from drinking into sobriety and the joy she has found building a business around her spirituality.

The Sober Witch, Rene Carlson, shares her journey from drinking into sobriety and the joy she has found building a business around her spirituality.

#37 - Creating a Business Out Of Messy, Real Life With Rene Carlson

Dr. Dawn Davis shares tips for owning and weathering the changes that come with parenting teenagers and encourages us to relate to ourselves with non-judgemental, inquisitiveness.

Dr. Dawn Davis shares tips for owning and weathering the changes that come with parenting teenagers and encourages us to relate to ourselves with non-judgemental, inquisitiveness.

#36 - Letting Go Of Control When You’re Parenting Teens with Dr. Dawn Davis

Sharon Cohen

Relationship and Love Consultant, Dr. Sharon Cohen, shares lessons and insights into the hidden roadblocks that keep smart and successful women from experiencing the love and intimacy they want.

Relationship and Love Consultant, Dr. Sharon Cohen, shares lessons and insights into the hidden roadblocks that keep smart and successful women from experiencing the love and intimacy they want.

#35 - How Smart and Successful Women Get and Keep Relationships, with Dr. Sharon Cohen

Elysha Lenkin

The clothes we wear are a tool we can use to create our experiences and to feel the way we want to feel. Fashion Stylist, Elysha Lenkin, teaches us how to create our own “holistic style” so we can look amazing and be true to ourselves.

The clothes we wear are a tool we can use to create our experiences and to feel the way we want to feel. Fashion Stylist, Elysha Lenkin, teaches us how to create our own “holistic style” so we can look amazing and be true to ourselves.

#34 - Creating Holistic Personal Style With Elysha Lenkin

Our choices and actions and the results we see in our lives come from the way we see ourselves. Learn how to intentionally choose the qualities you want to identify with to get more of what you want.

Our choices and actions and the results we see in our lives come from the way we see ourselves. Learn how to intentionally choose the qualities you want to identify with to get more of what you want.

#33 - Shifting Your Identity To Have More Of What You Want

The author of "Mom As You Areâ€ shares 3 actionable strategies to help us overcome worried thinking and get back in touch with our body's wisdom, develop self-compassion, and trust the process.

The author of "Mom As You Areâ€ shares 3 actionable strategies to help us overcome worried thinking and get back in touch with our body's wisdom, develop self-compassion, and trust the process.

#32 - How To Overcome Worried Thinking with Dr. Dawn Davis

Drinking alcohol and the opportunities that giving it all up has opened up.

Drinking alcohol and the opportunities that giving it all up has opened up.

#31 - Getting Sober With Renee Carlson

The Style With Intention podcast is for people who want to bring more ease, joy, and intention to their lives.Host Annie Kip, a personal stylist and interior decorator, shares new ways for people to feel confident, clear, and empowered to design a life they want to live. With content targeted right at the intersection of personal style and personal development, Annie includes downloadable bonus materials for most episodes, which makes her inspirational advice, practical and actionable as well.Join Annie each week, as she gives you the tools to transform your life from the inside out - because happy always looks really, really good!

Annie is such a great conversation starter. She is warm and real and discusses relevant topics for women entering their midlife. I highly recommend subscribing.

A great podcast for women entering mid-life

Annie thank you for this podcast. I have found it very helpful. I listen to each podcast multiple times and will continue to do so going forward. I learn something new every time I listen and try to apply it to my own life.

Love It!

The Style With Intention podcast is for people who want to bring more ease, joy, and intention to their lives. Host Annie Kip, a personal stylist and interior decorator, shares new ways for people to feel confident, clear, and empowered to design a life they want to live. With content targeted right at the intersection of personal style and personal development, Annie includes downloadable bonus materials for most episodes, which makes her inspirational advice, practical and actionable as well. Join Annie each week, as she gives you the tools to transform your life from the inside out - because happy always looks really, really good!

Style With Intention Podcast

Knowing your personal style and dressing how you want to feel is crucial to your happiness and it’s as easy as listening to your brain’s quiet messages about what will make you happy! Here are the biggest takeaways from this episode:  The importance of knowing how you want to feel &amp; how you can use that to define your personal style. Why it’s so important to use the changes in your life to make a choice intentionally. How I use my personal style as an exercise of living with intention You’ll discover how to uncover your personal style by listening to“whispers” (also know as: life's little nudges)  Hey there! Today’s mission is to reclaim that personal style of yours - -  even if it’s been missing in action for years. We’ve all heard the old adage “when you look good,  you feel good” - - and while there’s whole lot of truth in that saying, I’d like to suggest that you start with knowing how you want to feel - because I believe looking good is an inside job! Dressing how you want to feel is crucial to your happiness &amp; it’s as easy as listening to your brain’s quiet messages about what style - for your personal wardrobe or for your home - will make you happy! As always, my goal is to make it quicker and easier for you to access more ease, joy, and intention in your life...because happy looks really, really good!   Enjoy the show!     BONUS CONTENT Been so long you don’t even know where to start? This week's free bonus content, "The Personal Style Audit Checklist," will help you get going! We know it’s so easy to put yourself on the back-burner, because let’s be real, life gets in the way. Now is your time! Download the guide now and get clear on what you need to do to start looking and feeling happy! Click HERE to get the bonus content and we’ll send it out right away! _____     In case you'd rather read than listen... FULL TRANSCRIPT OF EPISODE #4 RECLAIMING YOUR PERSONAL STYLE Welcome to the Style With Intention podcast where we talk about how to use your personal style as a tool to create a life you love.   We believe that choice is empowering, complacency is boring, and happy looks really, really, good!   I’m your host, Annie Kip, and I want to welcome you to today’s episode - all about how you can reclaim your personal style - even if it’s been missing in action for years.   For many of us, there’ve been a lot of competing pulls on us for years and our personal style has been less important - we’ve had kids who need us, relationships that require us to stretch and compromise, parents who need our attention, friends we want to find time for, and jobs that require our energy and focus.   All of these obligations and commitments take time. If you’re like me, you barely have time to stop and feed yourself and your family at the end the day, so paying attention your style can seem like a luxury. Or even a superficial indulgence. Style was something we might have paid attention to when we were younger, dating, and only had ourselves to think about. As adults, we don’t have the luxury of only thinking about ourselves.   Sort of like the Velveteen Rabbit, the children’s storybook, our sense of personal style may have been smushed, damaged, pushed, pulled, edited, adjusted, or ignored for years.   Our preferences have definitely taken a backseat to the needs of others.   Lots of us don’t even know what we like anymore. We may have forgotten who we are in some ways - and lost some of the personal power we once felt. I’m here to tell you that it isn’t too late to get that back. And now is the best time to do it!   This seems to be an age where a lot of my friends and I are taking a look around and wondering what’s next. We’re adjusting to the changing needs of our families - kids are growing up, going off to college, needing us a little less. We’re considering what’s next, and sometimes worrying about what’s next. This is a time when some of us make big changes and regroup to head in a whole new direction in our relationships and our careers.   The changes in our lives - expected and unexpected - can be quite disconcerting and make us feel out of control and vulnerable. Not liking the changes we see in our lives - in the mirror, in the work world, and even in our relationships - can really do a number on is. Feeling unsure of yourself can be paralyzing and it’s no wonder so many people get stuck in a style or way of life.  This doesn’t have to be the end of the story. You don’t have to stay in this feeling forever. This can be a new chapter.   Endings can be new beginnings. This can be a time of growth - learning things that you’ve put off learning. Taking new jobs that stretch us and introduce us to new people. We can develop new relationships with our kids, as more grown up people.   Friends of mine recently sold the home that they raised their kids in and moved into a condo. As excited as they are about their new space - and it looks awesome - they had to get rid of a lot of things. The process of paring down was hard and they still feel a little weird that they only have a guest room for their kids to stay in when they visit. But it was time for this change and they’re glad they made it.   Instead of just limping along, feeling paralyzed as they ignored the bad feelings, they wondered what could be better. They thought of what they could do with their big house, noticed they were feeling really stressed about the upkeep, and they made a choice to downsize. The decided and went with it. It hasn’t been all fun and popcorn. They chose to do something hard, to get to the happier place they wanted to be in. Now they live in a home which is just the right size for them. They don’t have the worry of upkeep and they have only the possessions they truly love and want to live with.   They knew they didn’t feel the way they wanted to feel in their big family home and they made choices to get to a better place.   Knowing how you want to feel is solid gold information, my friend.   You want this info -  and today, we’re going to talk about why it’s so important to use the changes in your life to make a choice intentionally and why it makes such a difference in your life.   You’re going to have to choose something - staying or going, keeping or throwing out - so you may as well choose what’s going to get you where you want to go. Not making a choice is still a choice.   A couple of weeks ago, I talked about something I call the “whispers” - those little voices that tell you when something works for you or doesn’t. (If you want to hear more about this, go listen to episode 2) They can be so faint that you barely hear them. Or so quick to pass that you sometimes miss them. But if you practice paying attention, you can become more and more aware of them and get the juicy info they have to offer.   The whispers will help you make choices. It takes a bit of focus and intention – but it’s worth it, especially if you haven’t paid attention to your style for a while.   This is where you get to reclaim your personal style. This is how your personal style gets unique - when you let your choices be guided by what lights you up. When you listen to the “whispers” and the juicy truth they are telling you.   The whispers help you do what’s right for you - and what will bring your emotional state up. They give you the confidence to to ignore what other people think. To not compromise or please or placate other people. They help you make choices which will help you experience happier feelings.   And we all want to have better experiences, right? We want to feel good more of the time. I know I do and that’s why I’ve become sort of obsessed with understanding how our style choices affect our emotions.   Most people know when they’re having a good day. You know, one of those days when everything just goes well. You feel like you have it wired and dialed in and can handle whatever comes your way. You’re feeling friendly and the world seems to be smiling back at you. I call these rockstar days, because they feel amazing!   But when you don’t feel so good, you might not know why. You might not even be aware that you’re not “up.” Or that you feel a little more tired or even sad. The day just seems sort of “regular” or blah. We all have those days. We sometimes just assume this is part of life.   But what if you could have more up days and fewer down days?   The whispers can help you understand what makes you feel the way you feel. When you’re wearing certain things or working in certain environments, it affects you. Even the interactions you have throughout a day can affect how you feel. Pay attention to those flashes of information that tell you what makes you feel up and what makes you feel less up, or even down.   At the very least, being conscious of these feelings and the choices you have, gives you a better chance of managing them and creating better experiences for yourself   Because feelings are not facts. You can change how you feel, which means you can change what you experience. I believe this with all my heart - and I’m definitely still working on this in my life. It’s easy to get swept into a situation and think there’s not way out, but to feel bad, or sad, or mad. Just this weekend, I found myself feeling bad and struggling to get myself into a better feeling state. I took a walk with the dog, I took a warm bath, and did the self-care I knew would help get me closer to the feeling I wanted to be in.   You always have at least two choices - to change your situation or change how you feel about your situation.   And now I can just hear a bunch of you out there groaning and saying - but how can I feel good about the bad things going on around me. Yes, I know there are some things that happen in the world which are terribly tragic and unexplainable and senseless. I’m not talking about those awful things. I’m talking about ordinary difficult things that go on in our lives - like divorce and moving and getting fired or going back to work.   Yes, there are super hard times. I’ve had my share, believe me. And I can’t say I am perfect at this, but I do think there’s no good that will come from continuing to feel “down” and there’s all kinds of good that can happen if you figure out how to bring yourself, just one tiny, tiny step closer to “up.”   If you aren’t feeling the way you want to feel, let’s figure out why. If you’re going through unsettling changes and you want to feel more in charge, let’s figure out where you can take control. If you’ve lost track of your preferences, let’s take stock and start making small choices which will let you experience happier feelings. We can build on that.   I’ve put together a series of questions you can ask yourself to help with this. It’s a totally free download. Go to our website - www.stylewithintentionpodcast.com, and on the page for episode 4, you can download the free “Personal Style Audit Checklist”. Or, even easier, you can text the word STYLEAUDIT to 44-222 and we’ll send it out to you right away.   Go through the checklist and think about each area of your life. It may not be time to make changes right now – the kids have to get through school, parents need our help, or you might need to keep your day job as they say – but you can become aware of the places in your life that feel like a hell “yes!!!” and notice the places that make you go “meh” or even “ick”   These questions will help you identify the places where you might unconsciously be giving up your option to choose. It will help you identify where the way you feel inside might be out of sync with what’s showing on the outside or how you want to feel in your life.   The answers to these questions will help you focus on the areas of your life which will get you the biggest wins and fastest gains. Making small changes and choosing things that make you feel good is the way to make your life more of what you want it to be going forward.   This is what defines your personal style.   Many of us are staring down the road at the second-half of our lives -  and I believe we can make these the best years yet. You can let yourself dream of a life filled with hell “yes!!!” and reverse engineer your choices to get more of that feeling.   It takes a bit of focus and possibly some attitude adjustment - especially if you’re used to thinking that you’re not in charge of how you feel, but it’s worth it. Change isn’t always easy, but the vision you hold for yourself and how you want to feel will gain traction and become more real the more you are able to identify which choices will get you closer to it.   Your personal style is defined by the way you feel inside. You deserve to feel anyway you want to feel. And it’s within your reach - because remember, feelings aren’t facts, they’re within your control. You deserve to feel peaceful, brave, free and happy. And whatever else you want to feel.   Work from the feeling you want to have, listen to the whispers we talked about in episode 2. You are the one and only expert on how you feel, so make the style choices which are right for you. Help yourself experience the feelings you want in your life by choosing what lifts you up and puts a smile on your face - this is the way to reclaim your unique style - because happy always looks really, really good.  BONUS CONTENT Been so long you don’t even know where to start? This week's free bonus content, "The Personal Style Audit Checklist," will help you get going! We know it’s so easy to put yourself on the back-burner, because let’s be real, life gets in the way. Now is your time! Download the guide now and get clear on what you need to do to start looking and feeling happy! Click HERE to get the bonus content and we’ll send it out right away!     P.S. Be sure you're subscribed by clicking HERE!   Remember, if you’re new to podcasts, check out our free Podcast Cheat Sheet for everything you need to know about downloading, listening to, and sharing podcast episodes. Click HERE to get it!   header photograph by: Yifei Chen  

Knowing your personal style and dressing how you want to feel is crucial to your happiness and it’s as easy as listening to your brain’s quiet messages about what will make you happy! Here are the biggest takeaways from this episode: <ul> <li>The importance of knowing how you want to feel &amp; how you can use that to define your personal style.</li> <li>Why it’s so important to use the changes in your life to make a choice intentionally.</li> <li>How I use my personal style as an exercise of living with intention</li> <li>You’ll discover how to uncover your personal style by listening to“whispers” (also know as: life's little nudges)</li> </ul> Hey there! Today’s mission is to reclaim that personal style of yours - -  even if it’s been missing in action for years. We’ve all heard the old adage “when you look good,  you feel good” - - and while there’s whole lot of truth in that saying, I’d like to suggest that you start with knowing how you want to feel - because I believe looking good is an inside job! Dressing how you want to feel is crucial to your happiness &amp; it’s as easy as listening to your brain’s quiet messages about what style - for your personal wardrobe or for your home - will make you happy! As always, my goal is to make it quicker and easier for you to access more ease, joy, and intention in your life...because happy looks really, really good!   Enjoy the show!   <a href="https://anniekip.leadpages.co/serve-leadbox/140366773f72a2:128c25b66346dc" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank"></a> BONUS CONTENT Been so long you don’t even know where to start? This week's free bonus content, <a href="https://anniekip.leadpages.co/serve-leadbox/140366773f72a2:128c25b66346dc" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank">"The Personal Style Audit Checklist,"</a> will help you get going! We know it’s so easy to put yourself on the back-burner, because let’s be real, life gets in the way. Now is your time! Download the guide now and get clear on what you need to do to start looking and feeling happy! Click <a href="https://anniekip.leadpages.co/serve-leadbox/140366773f72a2:128c25b66346dc" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a> to get the bonus content and we’ll send it out right away! _____     In case you'd rather read than listen... FULL TRANSCRIPT OF EPISODE #4 RECLAIMING YOUR PERSONAL STYLE Welcome to the <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/id1315334164" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank">Style With Intention podcast</a> where we talk about how to use your personal style as a tool to create a life you love.   We believe that choice is empowering, complacency is boring, and happy looks really, really, good!   I’m your host, Annie Kip, and I want to welcome you to today’s episode - all about how you can reclaim your personal style - even if it’s been missing in action for years.   For many of us, there’ve been a lot of competing pulls on us for years and our personal style has been less important - we’ve had kids who need us, relationships that require us to stretch and compromise, parents who need our attention, friends we want to find time for, and jobs that require our energy and focus.   All of these obligations and commitments take time. If you’re like me, you barely have time to stop and feed yourself and your family at the end the day, so paying attention your style can seem like a luxury. Or even a superficial indulgence. Style was something we might have paid attention to when we were younger, dating, and only had ourselves to think about. As adults, we don’t have the luxury of only thinking about ourselves.   Sort of like the Velveteen Rabbit, the children’s storybook, our sense of personal style may have been smushed, damaged, pushed, pulled, edited, adjusted, or ignored for years.   Our preferences have definitely taken a backseat to the needs of others.   Lots of us don’t even know what we like anymore. We may have forgotten who we are in some ways - and lost some of the personal power we once felt. I’m here to tell you that it isn’t too late to get that back. And now is the best time to do it!   This seems to be an age where a lot of my friends and I are taking a look around and wondering what’s next. We’re adjusting to the changing needs of our families - kids are growing up, going off to college, needing us a little less. We’re considering what’s next, and sometimes worrying about what’s next. This is a time when some of us make big changes and regroup to head in a whole new direction in our relationships and our careers.   The changes in our lives - expected and unexpected - can be quite disconcerting and make us feel out of control and vulnerable. Not liking the changes we see in our lives - in the mirror, in the work world, and even in our relationships - can really do a number on is. Feeling unsure of yourself can be paralyzing and it’s no wonder so many people get stuck in a style or way of life.  This doesn’t have to be the end of the story. You don’t have to stay in this feeling forever. This can be a new chapter.   Endings can be new beginnings. This can be a time of growth - learning things that you’ve put off learning. Taking new jobs that stretch us and introduce us to new people. We can develop new relationships with our kids, as more grown up people.   Friends of mine recently sold the home that they raised their kids in and moved into a condo. As excited as they are about their new space - and it looks awesome - they had to get rid of a lot of things. The process of paring down was hard and they still feel a little weird that they only have a guest room for their kids to stay in when they visit. But it was time for this change and they’re glad they made it.   Instead of just limping along, feeling paralyzed as they ignored the bad feelings, they wondered what could be better. They thought of what they could do with their big house, noticed they were feeling really stressed about the upkeep, and they made a choice to downsize. The decided and went with it. It hasn’t been all fun and popcorn. They chose to do something hard, to get to the happier place they wanted to be in. Now they live in a home which is just the right size for them. They don’t have the worry of upkeep and they have only the possessions they truly love and want to live with.   They knew they didn’t feel the way they wanted to feel in their big family home and they made choices to get to a better place.   Knowing how you want to feel is solid gold information, my friend.   You want this info -  and today, we’re going to talk about why it’s so important to use the changes in your life to make a choice intentionally and why it makes such a difference in your life.   You’re going to have to choose something - staying or going, keeping or throwing out - so you may as well choose what’s going to get you where you want to go. Not making a choice is still a choice.   A couple of weeks ago, I talked about something I call the “whispers” - those little voices that tell you when something works for you or doesn’t. (If you want to hear more about this, go listen to episode 2) They can be so faint that you barely hear them. Or so quick to pass that you sometimes miss them. But if you practice paying attention, you can become more and more aware of them and get the juicy info they have to offer.   The whispers will help you make choices. It takes a bit of focus and intention – but it’s worth it, especially if you haven’t paid attention to your style for a while.   This is where you get to reclaim your personal style. This is how your personal style gets unique - when you let your choices be guided by what lights you up. When you listen to the “whispers” and the juicy truth they are telling you.   The whispers help you do what’s right for you - and what will bring your emotional state up. They give you the confidence to to ignore what other people think. To not compromise or please or placate other people. They help you make choices which will help you experience happier feelings.   And we all want to have better experiences, right? We want to feel good more of the time. I know I do and that’s why I’ve become sort of obsessed with understanding how our style choices affect our emotions.   Most people know when they’re having a good day. You know, one of those days when everything just goes well. You feel like you have it wired and dialed in and can handle whatever comes your way. You’re feeling friendly and the world seems to be smiling back at you. I call these rockstar days, because they feel amazing!   But when you don’t feel so good, you might not know why. You might not even be aware that you’re not “up.” Or that you feel a little more tired or even sad. The day just seems sort of “regular” or blah. We all have those days. We sometimes just assume this is part of life.   But what if you could have more up days and fewer down days?   The whispers can help you understand what makes you feel the way you feel. When you’re wearing certain things or working in certain environments, it affects you. Even the interactions you have throughout a day can affect how you feel. Pay attention to those flashes of information that tell you what makes you feel up and what makes you feel less up, or even down.   At the very least, being conscious of these feelings and the choices you have, gives you a better chance of managing them and creating better experiences for yourself   Because feelings are not facts. You can change how you feel, which means you can change what you experience. I believe this with all my heart - and I’m definitely still working on this in my life. It’s easy to get swept into a situation and think there’s not way out, but to feel bad, or sad, or mad. Just this weekend, I found myself feeling bad and struggling to get myself into a better feeling state. I took a walk with the dog, I took a warm bath, and did the self-care I knew would help get me closer to the feeling I wanted to be in.   You always have at least two choices - to change your situation or change how you feel about your situation.   And now I can just hear a bunch of you out there groaning and saying - but how can I feel good about the bad things going on around me. Yes, I know there are some things that happen in the world which are terribly tragic and unexplainable and senseless. I’m not talking about those awful things. I’m talking about ordinary difficult things that go on in our lives - like divorce and moving and getting fired or going back to work.   Yes, there are super hard times. I’ve had my share, believe me. And I can’t say I am perfect at this, but I do think there’s no good that will come from continuing to feel “down” and there’s all kinds of good that can happen if you figure out how to bring yourself, just one tiny, tiny step closer to “up.”   If you aren’t feeling the way you want to feel, let’s figure out why. If you’re going through unsettling changes and you want to feel more in charge, let’s figure out where you can take control. If you’ve lost track of your preferences, let’s take stock and start making small choices which will let you experience happier feelings. We can build on that.   I’ve put together a series of questions you can ask yourself to help with this. It’s a totally free download. Go to our website - <a href="http://www.stylewithintentionpodcast.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.stylewithintentionpodcast.com</a>, and on the page for episode 4, you can download the free “Personal Style Audit Checklist”. Or, even easier, you can text the word STYLEAUDIT to 44-222 and we’ll send it out to you right away.   Go through the checklist and think about each area of your life. It may not be time to make changes right now – the kids have to get through school, parents need our help, or you might need to keep your day job as they say – but you can become aware of the places in your life that feel like a hell “yes!!!” and notice the places that make you go “meh” or even “ick”   These questions will help you identify the places where you might unconsciously be giving up your option to choose. It will help you identify where the way you feel inside might be out of sync with what’s showing on the outside or how you want to feel in your life.   The answers to these questions will help you focus on the areas of your life which will get you the biggest wins and fastest gains. Making small changes and choosing things that make you feel good is the way to make your life more of what you want it to be going forward.   This is what defines your personal style.   Many of us are staring down the road at the second-half of our lives -  and I believe we can make these the best years yet. You can let yourself dream of a life filled with hell “yes!!!” and reverse engineer your choices to get more of that feeling.   It takes a bit of focus and possibly some attitude adjustment - especially if you’re used to thinking that you’re not in charge of how you feel, but it’s worth it. Change isn’t always easy, but the vision you hold for yourself and how you want to feel will gain traction and become more real the more you are able to identify which choices will get you closer to it.   Your personal style is defined by the way you feel inside. You deserve to feel anyway you want to feel. And it’s within your reach - because remember, feelings aren’t facts, they’re within your control. You deserve to feel peaceful, brave, free and happy. And whatever else you want to feel.   Work from the feeling you want to have, listen to the whispers we talked about in episode 2. You are the one and only expert on how you feel, so make the style choices which are right for you. Help yourself experience the feelings you want in your life by choosing what lifts you up and puts a smile on your face - this is the way to reclaim your unique style - because happy always looks really, really good. <a href="https://anniekip.leadpages.co/serve-leadbox/140366773f72a2:128c25b66346dc" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank"></a> BONUS CONTENT Been so long you don’t even know where to start? This week's free bonus content, <a href="https://anniekip.leadpages.co/serve-leadbox/140366773f72a2:128c25b66346dc" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank">"The Personal Style Audit Checklist,"</a> will help you get going! We know it’s so easy to put yourself on the back-burner, because let’s be real, life gets in the way. Now is your time! Download the guide now and get clear on what you need to do to start looking and feeling happy! Click <a href="https://anniekip.leadpages.co/serve-leadbox/140366773f72a2:128c25b66346dc" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a> to get the bonus content and we’ll send it out right away!     P.S. Be sure you're subscribed by clicking <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/id1315334164" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>!   Remember, if you’re new to podcasts, check out our free <a href="http://anniekipstyle.com/podcast-cheat-sheet/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Podcast Cheat Sheet</a> for everything you need to know about downloading, listening to, and sharing podcast episodes. Click <a href="http://anniekipstyle.com/podcast-cheat-sheet/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a> to get it!   header photograph by: Yifei Chen

#4 - How To Reclaim Your Personal Style

Every choice you make about how you show up in the world is an expression of your personal style, including the spaces that you surround yourself with. I'm sharing how to use your personal style as a powerful tool and how you can use it to manage your subconscious and shape the experiences that you have.

Every choice you make about how you show up in the world is an expression of your personal style, including the spaces that you surround yourself with. I'm sharing how to use your personal style as a powerful tool and how you can use it to manage your subconscious and shape the experiences that you have.

#28 - How Your Environment Defines Your Personal Style

This is a really practical episode about the mistakes that people make when they take on a project, how to avoid them as well as what you need to do to fix them.

This is a really practical episode about the mistakes that people make when they take on a project, how to avoid them as well as what you need to do to fix them.

#27 - Ways Your Home Decorating Project Gets Stuck and How To Fix Them

Friendship is 100% voluntary - that's what makes it so wonderful! - and also the thing that pushes it lower on the priority list, when life gets busy. It seems like friendship should be easy at this point - but that's not always the case. Listen in to today as I share 3 essential qualities you can cultivate to maintain and deepen your adult friendships.     The biggest takeaways from this episode:  How friendship is important for your health. Why friendship gets more difficult as we get older. The qualities adult friendships must have to keep growing. Why your friendships deserve your attention, even when you're busy.    Hey there, Thanks for being here today! Welcome to the Style With Intention podcast. Today, we’re going to dive into adult friendships. This is a topic that I've thought and read a lot about - and struggled with too. "Friendship" is one of those things that we assume should be easy at this point in our lives, but it doesn't always feel that way. Adult friendships can feel vulnerable and tricky to navigate - but there's scientific evidence that friendship is really important to your physical and mental well-being - so it's worth it!. In this episode, I'm sharing 3 important qualities you can cultivate to to maintain and deepen your adult friendships. I recorded this episode a couple of weeks ago - but, this week, I had some real life lessons in the value of adult friendships. This last week was a doozy for me. Some unexpected changes in my relationship with the beau really threw me for a loop - and when I reached out to friends, they were there for me. I've had to rely on friends more than usual during this time and I can't imagine going through this without them.  It's never too late to make new friends and develop close friendships!  Listen in today as I share how the 3 qualities of friendship play out in adult friendships. I've seen how it works in my own life and an excited to share my insights with you. As always, my goal is to make it quicker and easier for you to access more ease, joy, and intention in your life...because happy looks really, really good! Enjoy the show!          If you’re new to podcasts, check out our “Listening To Podcasts Cheat Sheet” for everything you need to know about downloading and listening to podcasts from your iPhone.   CLICK HERE TO SUBSCRIBE   If you’d rather read, than listen, here’s the FULL TRANSCRIPT OF EPISODE #17 DEVELOP DEEPER ADULT FRIENDSHIPS WITH THESE 3 QUALITIES   Welcome to the  Style With Intention podcast, where we talk about how to use your personal style choices as a tool to create a life you love. We believe choice is empowering, complacency is boring, and happy looks really, really good! I’m your host, Annie Kip, and I’m so glad you’re here today! Today we’re talking about adult friendships.   Did you know there is a single question which can predict whether you will be alive and happy at age 80?   Ask yourself, “Is there someone in your life whom you would feel comfortable phoning at 4 in the morning to tell your troubles to?”   If you answered “yes” you’ve got a really good shot at being not just alive, but also happy, into your 80’s. If you’re answer is”no” your chances are much, much lower for being happy and alive into your 80’s. But it’s never too late to change that.   This info is from the Grant study that started in 1938 and followed the physical and emotional health of 200 men, who are now well into their 90’s. When the man who led the study for many years, George Vaillant, was asked what he’d learned from the study, his response was simply “That the only thing that really matters in life are your relationships to other people.”   That’s pretty powerful. We all enjoy having friends, but I doubt we are all aware of how having friends is actually vital to our health and well-being.   Some of you may know that I’ve moved 8 times in my adult life. Each place I’ve moved, I had to establish new friendships. I didn’t really anticipate that I would be moving so many times, so I really invested myself into the friends that I made in each new place. Every single time, it was really, really hard to leave the people I had became close to and every single time, it was hard to make new friends again - but looking back, I feel like the luckiest person on earth to have ended up with really wonderful friends all over the country.   I’m one of those people who always feels super lucky just to be included. I don’t take it for granted that people want to be friends with me and I always feel like I’m not quite as good a friend to other people as they are to me. My friends tell me this isn’t true, but still, there’s a little insecure part of me that feels like I’m the lucky one to have such great friends!   I’m a bit of an introvert - I’m fine at parties and I do love socializing -- but I’m not totally comfortable reaching out. I can get lost in my work, head down, stuck in my office, day in and day out - and before I know it, weeks have gone by and I haven’t reached out to anyone. Luckily, I have old friends who know to just drop by my house - and they know I’m always happy to make coffee and chat anytime.   But to make new adult friends, I’ve really had to go outside my comfort zone.   A few years ago, I saw a woman at the gym who I knew of from around town , but her kids were older than mine, so we never matched up in school and we didn’t have the same circle of friends. I don’t know what possessed me one day, but I walked up to her and introduced myself - and told her I’d always admired her, was interested in her work as a coach, and wondered if she wanted to have coffee someday.   To make a long story short - we made plans and I accidentally stood her up, which was a terrible way to start a friendship. Luckily, she gave me another chance and we finally met up for coffee. We had coffee again, then walked together, talked about our work, then eventually our families and relationships, and she’s now one of my very close friends. I didn’t even realize how much we had in common and how much we would enjoy being friends. I just took a chance, put aside my worry that I would seem like a weirdo, and followed a hunch. I’m so glad I reached out to her - because otherwise, I wouldn’t have this sweet friend in my life.   Making friends is something that seems like it should come naturally - and it does sometimes - but more often it feels vulnerable and awkward and scary. I’m not totally comfortable doing it, but I think it’s worth it.   In today’s episode, we’re going to talk about the 3 characteristics that are critical for adult friendships to flourish - consistency, vulnerability, and positivity.   We’ll talk about how you can develop these characteristics and take a look at how they look in real life adult friendships. These characteristics will help you, not only maintain your old friendships, but also attract new adult friends as well.   This episode is perfect for you if you’re feeling as if you’d like to deepen the friendships that you already have or be the kind of person who attracts new friends.   The first characteristic is consistency.   Old and new friendships need some amount of consistent interaction beyond “likes’ on Facebook to maintain their closeness and grow. Either get-togethers in person or phone calls or even emails. Some degree of regular, personal interaction is critical to keeping friendships alive.   It seems to me that middle-age is the hardest time to maintain and grow friendships. Having consistency in a friendship was a lot easier when we were younger.   My social life used to sort of revolve around the sports and the activities that my kids did - I made friends with the women who were also waiting for swimming lessons and I got to know people while we watched our kids play endless games of little league. There were regularly scheduled reasons for interacting because of carpooling and school events and volunteering.   There was a built-in consistency - we were in closer, day-to-day touch with each other because our kids were friends with people that lived in our neighborhood - we could grab a quick coffee while the kids played - it didn’t have to be a big, planned event to get together and catch up a little. We had more involvement with each other in a sort of accidental way.   The same was true in college - you almost couldn’t help making friends in college because your peers were always right there. We had time to make friendships, get to know each other, and build trust.   If you’re about my age, you’re busy with kids and your own career and time for friendship might feel like a luxury - and it might be sort of lower on your priority list just because you have so many other obligations and there’s only so much time in the day.   But this is the magic of friendship - it’s based on choice. It’s a completely voluntary relationship. The fact that it isn’t obligatory is what makes it so special.   The friends who we choose to make time for on a consistent basis are the ones we become closest to. When you have a new friend, you have to follow up and make plans again to keep the friendship growing. Consistency is the key to friendships because, especially when you’re a busy adult, it has to be a mutual choice to be available for each other, to make space in our lives for each other, and to rely on each other.   Which leads me nicely into the 2nd characteristic of deep adult friendships - which is  vulnerability.   I’ve talked a lot about vulnerability on this podcast - particularly in episode #9 - and vulnerability is a critical element of adult friendships.   Again, when our kids were little, there was some built-in vulnerability, because we shared a lot of the same issues and concerns. Our marriages, money worries, how the kids were getting along in school, whether or not they made the team, and who was feeling left out. With little kids, we most often has little problems. And the stakes were lower, most of the time.   In middle-age, we’re a little older, we’ve got bigger kids, and we’ve often got bigger problems. Sometimes embarrassing problems we don’t want to tell people about. Kids get into trouble, do stupid things, they sometimes treat us - their parents - very badly. We sometime have serious relationship issues or health issues. It’s a lot more vulnerable to share our concerns and issues when they scare us or hurt us. And the issues can feel like a reflection on us too - we wonder if we messed up somewhere along the way.   When the stakes are much higher, we might be more inclined to just keep our problems to ourselves and put on a brave face. It’s just easier.   Especially if we don’t have the consistent day to day contact, no one wants to dump a bunch of bad news on their friends.   Ironically, friendships can help us get through the tough, painful times - if we’re willing to be vulnerable - but being vulnerable feels risky because it could lead to rejection and more pain - so people avoid it.   This is how we start to drift apart - we stop sharing. We don’t rely on each other. To keep that from happening - we have to make intentional effort to keep being connected. We have to allow a balance of give and take and both parties in a friendship have to be willing to take a chance, to share the tough stuff, to be real.   If only one party is willing to be vulnerable - things get out of balance. It can be very painful and make us feel like we’re the only ones floundering, if we share and the other person doesn't.   The key is that you have to let the other person “give” to you as well. You have to “take” sometimes - and that’s super vulnerable. If you’re always the one doing the giving, you might feel good about yourself, but you won’t build a great friendship.   Both parties have to be willing to be vulnerable - because you can’t have a deep friendship without that balance.   This is a time in our lives where we get to pick who we are friends with. When our time becomes scarce, and the problems and issues become bigger and more painful - we really need to be picky about who we are friends with.   The third important element of deep adult friendships is positivity.   On top of consistency and vulnerability, the thing we need most from our friends is positivity.   We want to know that, even when we do share our biggest vulnerabilities, that our friends will lift us up. A consistent and reliable friend is someone you know you can count on, when you’re not at the top of your game. As we said at the beginning of the podcast, this is the friend you can call at 4 in the morning to share your troubles.   The close friends we have had for a long time hold our history, they know our families, and they’ve been there through the disappointments, the losses and the heartaches - as well as the celebrations and milestones.   These good friends are able to help us see past our own low moments. They help us remember that we really do love our partners, even when they annoy us or let us down. They know we love our children, even when they do stupid things and we swear we’re going to disown them. They help us regain our confidence when we have a setback or lose our jobs or get dumped. They see the best in us when no one else can.   We feel good about ourselves after spending time with a positive friend. And that doesn’t mean they just flatter us or tell us what we want to hear. Our closest friends are the one who can actually tell us what we don’t want to hear. They can help us see our blind-spots - because looking at yourself and seeing things you don’t like is extremely vulnerable. Having a friend who believes in you, even in your ugly moments is a real friend.   In the book, “The Myth Of Happiness” (which I will also link to in the show-notes), the author says that the most intimate, trusting friendships are distinguished not by how the friends respond to each other’s disappointments and losses, but by how they react to each other’s good news.”   Being  positive and happy for each other is a huge contributor to connection in a friendship. Your true friends are the ones you call when things go right! Because, oddly, being happy for yourself is quite vulnerable.   I’ve thought about this a lot - and I’ve found that this is really true - we only share the very happy and the very sad feelings with our truest, closest friends - the ones who are consistently there for us, the ones who are willing to be vulnerable as well, and the ones who give is a really positive feeling.   So there you have it - the 3 characteristics that create deep adult friendships are consistency, vulnerability, and positivity. In real life, this is what it looks like.   #1 Consistency - which means finding ways to have regular, in-person contact. You can do this by setting a regular coffee date, or phone call, or forming a group that meets on a regular basis. Doing this episode has made me look at where I do and don’t have consistency in my friendships. It’s reminded me that I used really enjoy being in a book club and a ladies dinner group that I was a part of when I lived in Portland, Oregon and that I’d like to get something like that going where I live now. Especially if you’re an introvert like me, it helps to build more consistency into my friendships and socializing.   #2 - Vulnerability - which means really sharing the truth of who you are and balancing that with allowing other people to help you. Not always putting on a brave face. Admitting when things are a little hard for you. Letting friends come over for coffee, even if your kitchen is a mess and you haven’t showered. Asking a friend to help you with something or just listen.   In looking at my friendships, I see that the ones I feel closest to are the ones who have let me be there for them. And the ones who have been there for me. It’s a really important balance.   Especially in a new friendship, being vulnerable a little at a time is ideal. This gives you a chance to build up consistency and establish that “give and take” that will create the balance that is needed for true friendship.   #3 - Positivity - those people who add to our lives in really positive ways. They are there for us consistently, they hold our vulnerabilities - but they also help lift us out of ourselves, they remind us of what’s good about us and about our lives. They’re interested in us and want to know and understand us. They listen. They see the best. The celebrate whatever makes us happy. These are the friends who we want to spend more time with because we just feel so dang good after hanging out with them.   I hope you feel good after listening today!   To wrap this up - I want to share one more thought. There’s a nurse, named Bronnie Ware, who worked with dying patients for many years. She wrote a book about the regrets she heard people talk about on their deathbeds - and one of the top 5 regrets people had was not keeping in touch with friends.   Many years ago, I called my good friend Erica, at 3 a.m.,  because my dog had died and I didn’t know who else to call. She was there for me, without missing a beat. I want to be that kind of friend. I hope you have a friend like that in your life. And if you don’t, it’s not too late to start being that person and building a friendship that will be that for you.   I get how hard it is to stay in touch - especially during this really busy season of our lives - but I’ve realized, after doing this episode, that it’s pretty simple. Be consistent, be vulnerable, and be positive.   I’ve gotten a lot of ideas for ways that I can create better friendships in my own life and I hope you have too! I’d love to hear from you, anytime -  I share a lot of insights over on Instagram @AnnieKipStyle - just send me a DM or make a comment on my posts.   Thanks for listening today! Until next week - bye, bye for now!   LINKS TO RESOURCES:   https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2015/10/how-friendships-change-over-time-in-adulthood/411466/http://time.com/3748090/friends-social-health/https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/soloish/wp/2017/04/25/how-to-make-and-keep-friends-in-your-20s/?utm_term=.77dae1562880   Book: Triumphs of Experience: The Men of the Harvard Grant Study, by George E. Vaillant Book: The Myth Of Happiness, by Sonja Lyubomirsky Book: The Top Five Regrets of the Dying: A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing, by Bronie Ware   Header image by: Jose Gonzalez

#17 - Develop Deeper Adult Friendships With These 3 Qualities

There have been the obvious benefits of adding bookend routines to my days - I'm actually doing what I want to do for myself! But, in addition to these things, I've experienced three specific benefits that have been a really pleasant surprise!   Here are the biggest takeaways from this episode:  How bookend routines can help you get done the things that matter to you! 3 specific benefits from bookend routines that I didn't expect. How feeling out of alignment is maybe a message you need to hear. Some morning and evening bookend routines you might want to add into your own life.  Hey there! Today we're going to talk about something that will help you sleep better, become more productive, and feel more at ease throughout your day.  What is this miraculous secret?  It’s the simple act of creating bookend routines.   While the thought of having to stick to a routine usually makes me feel restricted -- but the bookends I've set up for myself have actually been a great tool in my life. They've helped me carve out  space in my daily life to make sure that I get the things that really matter to me done -- rather than only getting the things done that happen to grab my attention in the moment. Does this sound good to you? Do you need a little inspiration?   You can check out my "7-Step Bookend Routines For Morning and Evening" to get started. These are my personal routines which you can use or tweak to suit your schedule. The beginning and end of your day set the rhythms of your daily life.  These are the times of day when we have the most control of our time. Do yourself a favor and put a little structure into your morning and evening to get the most out of them! As always, my goal is to make it quicker and easier for you to access more ease, joy, and intention in your life...because happy looks really, really good!   Enjoy the show!    If you'd like to find a little more time and space to feel better and fit in the things that matter to you - this bonus content is perfect for you! You can see the "7-Step Bookend Routines For Morning and Evening" that I've been working with and then create your own bookend routines which will work well for you. Taking back your days can be as simple as bookending your morning and evening routines! You can click HERE to download and we’ll send it out right away!   Links mentioned in Episode #4  http://health.usnews.com/health-news/blogs/eat-run/2013/12/17/take-aspirin-at-night-to-reap-its-health-and-beauty-benefits  http://www.thealternativedaily.com/reasons-to-put-essential-oils-on-feet/  http://www.cnn.com/2011/HEALTH/04/19/healthiest.sleep.position/index.html http://www.bonappetit.com/story/best-sleepytime-tea-brands  http://www.omvana.com/meditations/six-phases-meditation-by-vishen-lakhiani In case you'd rather read than listen, here's the FULL TRANSCRIPT OF EPISODE #4 - HOW TO BOOKEND YOUR DAYS   Welcome to the Style With Intention podcast, where we talk about how to use your personal style as a tool to create a life you love.   We believe choice is empowering, complacency is boring, and happy looks really, really, good!   Hi there and welcome to the show. I’m your host, Annie Kip and today we’re talking about how to set yourself up for a good day by working on your morning and evening routines.   Today, I am going to share something I’m not good at. In fact, it’s something that I am a little embarrassed about.   Here I am, doing a podcast and sharing ideas and giving you suggestions, but I have to admit that I’m not proud of my record when it comes to follow-through on doing what I say I want to do.   I’m really good at coming up with new ideas and knowing the specific actions I want to take and writing it all down very carefully -- but consistently carrying these actions out? Not so much. Building good habits has never been my forte.   I wasn’t setting myself up to get what I wanted at all. In fact, I was getting in my own way and not making progress on my own priorities. I was putting off projects like this podcast and my new website. Yes, I still took care of my responsibilities to other people, my clients and kids - but I wasn’t taking care of my own stuff.   As icky as it made me feel, I had to admit that I wasn’t getting the things done that mattered to me.   It felt bad to look at this, so I avoided it. I was out of alignment and not being who I wanted to be. Feeling bad about it and not wanting to look at what was making me feel bad was sort of keeping me more stuck.   You guys, these out of alignment feelings are the whispers I’ve been telling you about. They don’t always tell you things that make you feel good. Sometimes they are actually trying to tell you something you don’t really want to see about yourself! In this case, they were telling me something was not working, by showing me that I didn’t want to feel this way!   So I took some advice that a wonderful therapist, named Steve, gave me a long time ago - and I become curious.   Curious was a much better feeling state than being ashamed of myself, so I stayed with it and tried to notice how other people got stuff done.   I have a really organized friend who has to be at work early and I remembered her telling me that she makes kids lunches the night before and sets out her own breakfast, the same oatmeal everyday, so she will make sure to eat it in the morning, on the way to work.   Then, I thought of the beau. For years, he has followed the same routine in the morning. He wakes up and does a ton of sit ups - like literally 500, because I guess he needs his abs strong to keep his back from aching, then has his half a bagel, and orange juice with some pulp (and I tease him that it’s not no-pulp, not a lot of pulp - “some” pulp), all while reading the Boston Globe. Then he gets dressed for work and sits down to have his tea and a breakfast treat. Like a cookie or piece of cake, while he finishes reading the Globe.   I always sort of made fun of him for being so rigid - like I was the cool one for doing things when I felt like it, as the mood struck me - but I realized that the beau actually got a lot accomplished in that morning routine and I realized that there might be some value to following some kind of a routine myself.   At about the same time, I heard of something called  “bookending” your day - Have you heard this phrase? It’s the idea of creating routine at the beginning and end of your day. It makes sense to me, being a visual person - the concept of creating blocks at either end of the day that stay the same every day. I envision that these bookending routines sort of prop up my day and hold it all together.   I’ve been giving it a shot and have been able to add on some things to make my morning, in particular much more productive. It’s been an ongoing process for me - and I’m making adjustments along the way, but if you’re someone who is trying to start new habits or get more out of your day, then I think this will be really helpful to you.   I’m going to share the benefits I’ve gotten from doing the bookending, rather than the specific details of my personal routines, which I think might be a little boring for you - but if you’d like to know what I do, I did write them all down and I’m happy to share if it would be helpful to you. You can copy what I do or take what works for you and add whatever you want.   You can download my "7-Step Bookend Routines For Morning and Evening" from the website: www.stylewithintentionpodcast.com, on the page for Episode 5.   There have been the obvious specific benefits of actually doing what I want to do for myself with my bookends. I’m making my bed, walking the dog, eating better, sleeping better, waking up happier.   My Dog, Luna, who’s an old-lady chocolate lab - is getting a more a regular walk, which has been really good for her and I feel like a better dog mama taking her out. When we get out for our walk early, I can let her off the leash more than usual as well, which she loves.   In addition to these things, there have been 3 specific benefits I didn’t expect to see - which I’m going to tell you about now.   Number One of the most unexpected benefits I have seen is that this feels like self-care. I started doing my bookending routines to make sure I got things done that were important to me,- like writing and starting this podcast - and the routine was sort of like a chore that I had to do-  but now it feels like an indulgence.   My evening bookend feels especially indulgent - even though it’s just a hot bath - it’s real self-care and I see why people say it’s so important. I look forward to starting my ritual at night - it gives me a good thing to look forward to at the end of the day and I definitely sleep better when I take the time to do this for myself. The routine trains my body to know when to relax - because, frankly, my mind is lousy at this. I am a ruminator, and I have a hard time turning it off.   My evening bookend leads to better sleep- the ultimate in self-care in my book- which means a better day the next day   Number 2 -  weekends feel different, better - more like the end of a week. Which is a big deal to someone like me who works from home most of the time.   On the weekend, I don’t follow my bookending routine exactly, I might walk the dog later and I stay in my pjs longer and sip coffee, rather than tea, on the weekends - which feels like a big treat now.   The result is that the weekend feels more special, more like the break that it is supposed to be.   Number 3 - This has been empowering in a way that I didn’t expect. Bookending my days has given me a new way to have more control over what happens to me.  It’s empowering to know that I can create a routine and incorporate whatever I want into my life- I’ve added a couple of things and am thinking about other things that I want and how I can make them a natural part of this bookend sequence. Once the routine is established, it’s much easier just to add something to it.   I know a lot of you may already have routines you follow. Maybe you already bookend your days without realizing it! That’s great and I have a lot I can learn from those of you who are already using this tool, like the beau.   I’m realizing that not having to decide what to do - just doing it - feels like a relief, not a chore. I’m look forward to doing my bookends and I’m getting even more regular - because when I skip them now, I definitely regret it. But every day is a chance to get back on it and start all over again.   Sure, what happens in the middle of the day, between my bookends, is often still chaotic and unpredictable. I don’t always feel the way I want to feel. My next frontier is going to be bookending my routines for starting work and ending work each day, but having my current, simple bookends in place to hold at least my morning and the evening together, gives my days a kind of rhythm, and has given me exponential benefits.   I’m sharing this - not because I’m perfect at it, because I am definitely not. If you know me, you know I am a work in progress! I should have one of those construction ahead signs outside my house! But because I thought this idea - and really all the ideas I’m sharing on Style With Intention - might help you too.  I’m working on making small changes and not needing to be perfect. If you can relate, then let’s help each other get better and better at this and feel the way we want to feel, so we can have more of the experiences we want to have, and live our lives in a way that makes us really, truly happy.   If you’d like to start your own bookend routine, go to the website for links to the info I’ve shared here - there are some resources and great articles that explain why some of the specific rituals I include in my actually routine work. I’ve tried a bunch of things and am really happy with what I’ve settled on. You can download my 7-Step Morning and Evening routines - feel free to use it or make tweaks so that you find something that works for you.   Let me know how you like it. I’d love to hear what you’re doing so I can get ideas for what to add to my routine!    BONUS CONTENT If you'd like to find a little more time and space to feel better and fit in the things that matter to you - this bonus content is perfect for you! You can see the "7-Step Bookend Routines For Morning and Evening" that I've been working with and then create your own bookend routines which will work well for you. Taking back your days can be as simple as bookending your morning and evening routines! You can click HERE to get the bonus content and we’ll send it out right away!     P.S. If you're new to podcasts, check out our free Podcast Cheat Sheet - it'll give you everything you need to know about finding, downloading, and listening on the go! Click HERE to get it!  

There have been the obvious benefits of adding bookend routines to my days - I'm actually doing what I want to do for myself! But, in addition to these things, I've experienced three specific benefits that have been a really pleasant surprise!   Here are the biggest takeaways from this episode: <ul> <li>How bookend routines can help you get done the things that matter to you!</li> <li>3 specific benefits from bookend routines that I didn't expect.</li> <li>How feeling out of alignment is maybe a message you need to hear.</li> <li>Some morning and evening bookend routines you might want to add into your own life.</li> </ul> Hey there! Today we're going to talk about something that will help you sleep better, become more productive, and feel more at ease throughout your day.  What is this miraculous secret?  It’s the simple act of creating bookend routines.   While the thought of having to stick to a routine usually makes me feel restricted -- but the bookends I've set up for myself have actually been a great tool in my life. They've helped me carve out  space in my daily life to make sure that I get the things that really matter to me done -- rather than only getting the things done that happen to grab my attention in the moment. Does this sound good to you? Do you need a little inspiration?   You can check out my <a href="https://anniekip.leadpages.co/serve-leadbox/1234a5673f72a2:128c25b66346dc" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank">"</a>7-Step Bookend Routines For Morning and Evening" to get started. These are my personal routines which you can use or tweak to suit your schedule. The beginning and end of your day set the rhythms of your daily life.  These are the times of day when we have the most control of our time. Do yourself a favor and put a little structure into your morning and evening to get the most out of them! As always, my goal is to make it quicker and easier for you to access more ease, joy, and intention in your life...because happy looks really, really good!   Enjoy the show! <a href="https://anniekip.leadpages.co/serve-leadbox/1234a5673f72a2:128c25b66346dc" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank"></a>   If you'd like to find a little more time and space to feel better and fit in the things that matter to you - this bonus content is perfect for you! You can see the <a href="https://anniekip.leadpages.co/serve-leadbox/1234a5673f72a2:128c25b66346dc" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank">"7-Step Bookend Routines For Morning and Evening"</a> that I've been working with and then create your own bookend routines which will work well for you. Taking back your days can be as simple as bookending your morning and evening routines! You can click <a href="https://anniekip.leadpages.co/serve-leadbox/1234a5673f72a2:128c25b66346dc" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a> to download and we’ll send it out right away!   Links mentioned in Episode #4 <a href="http://health.usnews.com/health-news/blogs/eat-run/2013/12/17/take-aspirin-at-night-to-reap-its-health-and-beauty-benefits" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> http://health.usnews.com/health-news/blogs/eat-run/2013/12/17/take-aspirin-at-night-to-reap-its-health-and-beauty-benefits</a> <a href="http://www.thealternativedaily.com/reasons-to-put-essential-oils-on-feet/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> http://www.thealternativedaily.com/reasons-to-put-essential-oils-on-feet/</a> <a href="http://www.cnn.com/2011/HEALTH/04/19/healthiest.sleep.position/index.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> http://www.cnn.com/2011/HEALTH/04/19/healthiest.sleep.position/index.html</a> <a href="http://www.bonappetit.com/story/best-sleepytime-tea-brands" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">http://www.bonappetit.com/story/best-sleepytime-tea-brands</a> <a href="http://www.omvana.com/meditations/six-phases-meditation-by-vishen-lakhiani" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> http://www.omvana.com/meditations/six-phases-meditation-by-vishen-lakhiani</a> In case you'd rather read than listen, here's the FULL TRANSCRIPT OF EPISODE #4 - HOW TO BOOKEND YOUR DAYS   Welcome to the <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/id1315334164" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank">Style With Intention podcast</a>, where we talk about how to use your personal style as a tool to create a life you love.   We believe choice is empowering, complacency is boring, and happy looks really, really, good!   Hi there and welcome to the show. I’m your host, Annie Kip and today we’re talking about how to set yourself up for a good day by working on your morning and evening routines.   Today, I am going to share something I’m not good at. In fact, it’s something that I am a little embarrassed about.   Here I am, doing a podcast and sharing ideas and giving you suggestions, but I have to admit that I’m not proud of my record when it comes to follow-through on doing what I say I want to do.   I’m really good at coming up with new ideas and knowing the specific actions I want to take and writing it all down very carefully -- but consistently carrying these actions out? Not so much. Building good habits has never been my forte.   I wasn’t setting myself up to get what I wanted at all. In fact, I was getting in my own way and not making progress on my own priorities. I was putting off projects like this podcast and my new website. Yes, I still took care of my responsibilities to other people, my clients and kids - but I wasn’t taking care of my own stuff.   As icky as it made me feel, I had to admit that I wasn’t getting the things done that mattered to me.   It felt bad to look at this, so I avoided it. I was out of alignment and not being who I wanted to be. Feeling bad about it and not wanting to look at what was making me feel bad was sort of keeping me more stuck.   You guys, these out of alignment feelings are the whispers I’ve been telling you about. They don’t always tell you things that make you feel good. Sometimes they are actually trying to tell you something you don’t really want to see about yourself! In this case, they were telling me something was not working, by showing me that I didn’t want to feel this way!   So I took some advice that a wonderful therapist, named Steve, gave me a long time ago - and I become curious.   Curious was a much better feeling state than being ashamed of myself, so I stayed with it and tried to notice how other people got stuff done.   I have a really organized friend who has to be at work early and I remembered her telling me that she makes kids lunches the night before and sets out her own breakfast, the same oatmeal everyday, so she will make sure to eat it in the morning, on the way to work.   Then, I thought of the beau. For years, he has followed the same routine in the morning. He wakes up and does a ton of sit ups - like literally 500, because I guess he needs his abs strong to keep his back from aching, then has his half a bagel, and orange juice with some pulp (and I tease him that it’s not no-pulp, not a lot of pulp - “some” pulp), all while reading the Boston Globe. Then he gets dressed for work and sits down to have his tea and a breakfast treat. Like a cookie or piece of cake, while he finishes reading the Globe.   I always sort of made fun of him for being so rigid - like I was the cool one for doing things when I felt like it, as the mood struck me - but I realized that the beau actually got a lot accomplished in that morning routine and I realized that there might be some value to following some kind of a routine myself.   At about the same time, I heard of something called  “bookending” your day - Have you heard this phrase? It’s the idea of creating routine at the beginning and end of your day. It makes sense to me, being a visual person - the concept of creating blocks at either end of the day that stay the same every day. I envision that these bookending routines sort of prop up my day and hold it all together.   I’ve been giving it a shot and have been able to add on some things to make my morning, in particular much more productive. It’s been an ongoing process for me - and I’m making adjustments along the way, but if you’re someone who is trying to start new habits or get more out of your day, then I think this will be really helpful to you.   I’m going to share the benefits I’ve gotten from doing the bookending, rather than the specific details of my personal routines, which I think might be a little boring for you - but if you’d like to know what I do, I did write them all down and I’m happy to share if it would be helpful to you. You can copy what I do or take what works for you and add whatever you want.   You can download my <a href="https://anniekip.leadpages.co/serve-leadbox/1234a5673f72a2:128c25b66346dc" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank">"7-Step Bookend Routines For Morning and Evening"</a> from the website: <a href="http://www.stylewithintentionpodcast.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.stylewithintentionpodcast.com</a>, on the page for Episode 5.   There have been the obvious specific benefits of actually doing what I want to do for myself with my bookends. I’m making my bed, walking the dog, eating better, sleeping better, waking up happier.   My Dog, Luna, who’s an old-lady chocolate lab - is getting a more a regular walk, which has been really good for her and I feel like a better dog mama taking her out. When we get out for our walk early, I can let her off the leash more than usual as well, which she loves.   In addition to these things, there have been 3 specific benefits I didn’t expect to see - which I’m going to tell you about now.   Number One of the most unexpected benefits I have seen is that this feels like self-care. I started doing my bookending routines to make sure I got things done that were important to me,- like writing and starting this podcast - and the routine was sort of like a chore that I had to do-  but now it feels like an indulgence.   My evening bookend feels especially indulgent - even though it’s just a hot bath - it’s real self-care and I see why people say it’s so important. I look forward to starting my ritual at night - it gives me a good thing to look forward to at the end of the day and I definitely sleep better when I take the time to do this for myself. The routine trains my body to know when to relax - because, frankly, my mind is lousy at this. I am a ruminator, and I have a hard time turning it off.   My evening bookend leads to better sleep- the ultimate in self-care in my book- which means a better day the next day   Number 2 -  weekends feel different, better - more like the end of a week. Which is a big deal to someone like me who works from home most of the time.   On the weekend, I don’t follow my bookending routine exactly, I might walk the dog later and I stay in my pjs longer and sip coffee, rather than tea, on the weekends - which feels like a big treat now.   The result is that the weekend feels more special, more like the break that it is supposed to be.   Number 3 - This has been empowering in a way that I didn’t expect. Bookending my days has given me a new way to have more control over what happens to me.  It’s empowering to know that I can create a routine and incorporate whatever I want into my life- I’ve added a couple of things and am thinking about other things that I want and how I can make them a natural part of this bookend sequence. Once the routine is established, it’s much easier just to add something to it.   I know a lot of you may already have routines you follow. Maybe you already bookend your days without realizing it! That’s great and I have a lot I can learn from those of you who are already using this tool, like the beau.   I’m realizing that not having to decide what to do - just doing it - feels like a relief, not a chore. I’m look forward to doing my bookends and I’m getting even more regular - because when I skip them now, I definitely regret it. But every day is a chance to get back on it and start all over again.   Sure, what happens in the middle of the day, between my bookends, is often still chaotic and unpredictable. I don’t always feel the way I want to feel. My next frontier is going to be bookending my routines for starting work and ending work each day, but having my current, simple bookends in place to hold at least my morning and the evening together, gives my days a kind of rhythm, and has given me exponential benefits.   I’m sharing this - not because I’m perfect at it, because I am definitely not. If you know me, you know I am a work in progress! I should have one of those construction ahead signs outside my house! But because I thought this idea - and really all the ideas I’m sharing on Style With Intention - might help you too.  I’m working on making small changes and not needing to be perfect. If you can relate, then let’s help each other get better and better at this and feel the way we want to feel, so we can have more of the experiences we want to have, and live our lives in a way that makes us really, truly happy.   If you’d like to start your own bookend routine, go to the website for links to the info I’ve shared here - there are some resources and great articles that explain why some of the specific rituals I include in my actually routine work. I’ve tried a bunch of things and am really happy with what I’ve settled on. You can download my 7-Step Morning and Evening routines - feel free to use it or make tweaks so that you find something that works for you.   Let me know how you like it. I’d love to hear what you’re doing so I can get ideas for what to add to my routine!   <a href="https://anniekip.leadpages.co/serve-leadbox/1234a5673f72a2:128c25b66346dc" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank"></a> BONUS CONTENT If you'd like to find a little more time and space to feel better and fit in the things that matter to you - this bonus content is perfect for you! You can see the <a href="https://anniekip.leadpages.co/serve-leadbox/1234a5673f72a2:128c25b66346dc" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank">"7-Step Bookend Routines For Morning and Evening"</a> that I've been working with and then create your own bookend routines which will work well for you. Taking back your days can be as simple as bookending your morning and evening routines! You can click <a href="https://anniekip.leadpages.co/serve-leadbox/1234a5673f72a2:128c25b66346dc" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a> to get the bonus content and we’ll send it out right away!     P.S. If you're new to podcasts, check out our free <a href="http://anniekipstyle.com/podcast-cheat-sheet/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Podcast Cheat Sheet</a> - it'll give you everything you need to know about finding, downloading, and listening on the go! Click <a href="http://anniekipstyle.com/podcast-cheat-sheet/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a> to get it!

#5 - 7-Step Bookend Routines For Morning and Evening

  All the choices you make either bring you closer to your ideal life or keep you from it. You may have to go through difficult things to get there, endure setbacks, and you may even have to face dragons.   Here are the biggest takeaways from this episode:  How the “whispers” can help you dream up your ideal life. Why letting yourself dream feels risky even though not dreaming is riskier. The difference between whispers and dragons (hint: one doesn’t help you). How to stop feeling deprived. I’ll also share how I’m dealing with my own personal dragons.  Hey there! Thanks for joining me today! In this episode we are going to talk about “slaying your dragons.”   Yes, dragons. A dragon is anything that’s keeping you away from what you really want out of your ideal life, aka your castle (see what I’m doing here...).  Dragons can be small diversions that often seem like short-cuts -- or nagging things like self-doubt, bad habits - or even a not-so-happy relationship, depending on how they affect your life.  Dragons are totally different for everyone - and only you know what your dragons are. You’ll be dealing with dragons all your life, so you may as well learn how to make friends with them! Join me in learning how to sort through what your dragons are and how you can use the small, ordinary decisions you make every day to create a life you want to live. (Hint - you already have everything it takes to do this!). As always, my goal is to make it quicker and easier for you to access more ease, joy, and intention in your life...because happy looks really, really good!   Enjoy the show!   BONUS CONTENT Be sure to download this bonus content - we're sharing "5 Simple Phrases" which will help you own your day - and, really, your whole life! These phrases will help you do things like...set limits politely and firmly, ask for what you want without being demanding, and take yourself out of the impossible job of trying to figure out what will make other people happy! When you have the right words to help you say what you want to say, when you need to say it, you have the power to take control and make your life more the way you want it to be! Click HERE to get the bonus content and we’ll send it out right away! ______   If you’d rather read than listen, here's the FULL TRANSCRIPT OF EPISODE #10 - SLAY YOUR DRAGONS   Welcome to the Style With Intention podcast, where we talk about how to use your personal style choices as a tool to create a life you love.   We believe choice is empowering, complacency is boring, and happy looks really, really good!   I’m your host, Annie Kip, and this is our last episode of season 1. We’re going to talk about what is keeping you from getting what you want out of your life.   What would your ideal life feel like? What would it feel like? Have you ever taken the time to really put that thought together in detail?   It’s something that’s easy to put off. We get busy and we’re fairly happy. We figure we don’t have that much control anyway and we assume things will work out. There are kids and jobs and parents and spouses and laundry to do.   Thinking about what you really want from your life might even feel risky - what if you dream up something that seems out of reach. It might even seem self-indulgent and entitled to you. Or frivolous. But what if you never take the time to think about what you want?  Whose preferences are deciding what your life is like. Or, What if you like the direction you’re headed in, but you get derailed? What if you end up somewhere that isn’t where you wanted to be?   Especially if you feel like you’ve lost track of what you want - my suggestion is to start with imagining how you want to feel - by listening to the “whispers” - we talked about this in episode 2 - they are the small, quiet voices that tell you about what makes your heart sing.   They’re the reactions and the little bits of feedback your brain gives you whenever something lights you up. The whispers can sometimes really hard to hear and even harder to hold onto - but if you pay attention and practice listening, they’re there, trying to help you get crystal clear on what you really want. When you’re sorting through all the various thoughts in your head, you can recognize the whispers because they’re soft, and calm, and unassuming - not loud, pushy or berating.   They give you clues to the core of who you are and tell you about what you make you happy.   For instance, think about how it would feel in your ideal life, if you - had a job or didn’t have a job? What is the work you would love to do? How would that feel every day? Would you like to feel purposeful, valued, appreciated, loved? Would you feel good if you had a mission that drives you and fulfilled you? Would you feel good if you rested more? What about relationships - how do you want to feel with the important people in your life? Your space - what would your ideal space feel like?   If you’re quiet and still, it’s a lot easier to listen to the whispers and notice the places that resonate with you.   For a minute, I want you to think about your ideal life as a metaphorical castle. The place where all your fairy tale dreams come true - Where you get to live the way you want to live, your ideal life... Where you get to do what you want, Where you get everything you need.   Your castle is the one place where you get to feel the way you want to feel every day.   To get to that good feeling state, to get to this castle - you have to do certain things. All the little choices you make in your life either bring you closer to your castle or keep you from it.   If you’re like most people, you may have to go through difficult things to get to your ideal life. Make tough decisions. Travel through rough terrain. Endure setbacks. Face challenges.   You may even have to face dragons.   Now, dragons are the opposite of the whispers. The dragons in your life can be loud and demanding or subtle and wiley.   Sometimes, they sneak up on you and trip you. Other times they can be big and strong and block your way and make you feel scared and afraid to move forward.   They take your attention away from what you really want and tempt you with diversions that might seem like a short-cut or an easier way to feel good, but at least in the short term, will keep you from getting to your castle - your ideal life.   In the end, the dragons can wear you down and make you wonder if getting to your ideal life is even really worth the effort.   Only you know what your dragons are. They could be anything that’s keeping you from doing what you really want to do. A dragon could be self-doubt. A dragon could be the extra weight you keep wanting to lose or just your habit of not getting up when you planned to. A dragon could be eating food that you know will make you feel bad. A dragon could be just being shy and afraid to reach out.   Dragons are totally different for everyone and they will even vary over your lifetime. You may not have the same dragons all your life - and when you do conquer a dragon, there’s often another dragon waiting in the wings.   A dragon doesn’t care about you and your goals, it only cares about the immediate situation. It can create crisis and panic and it’s hard to ignore. It can make you think that giving in to this one temptation will be fine.   Just this once, you skip the gym or flirt with someone you shouldn’t. Maybe you eat a cookie for breakfast, because you were in a rush. Or you just keep to yourself, instead of reaching out.   You figure if you just feed the dragon a little, it might calm down and leave you alone. What’s the harm?   The confusing thing is that sometimes, those choices do make you feel good - And there’s no dragon behind them. Sometimes it’s hard to tell the difference between dragons, which are trying to hurt you, and whispers, which are trying to help you.   After all, sometimes you do get an emotional boost from taking a break or resting. You don’t always have to be strong and push forward and go go go. Plenty of people stay in marriages that are not 100% what they want. Lots of people decide to buy bigger clothes, rather than lose weight. There’s nothing inherently wrong with any of these decision or deciding to sleep or have a cookie.   The problem comes when feeding the dragon makes it stronger and it keeps you from getting where you want to go. It hold you back or makes you ashamed. That’s how you know it’s a dragon.   A dragon makes you feel bad, it berates you, it makes you fearful, worried, and steals your time - while a whisper feels calm and clear and sure. A whisper doesn’t need to yell - it’s confident and composed, even quiet and subtle.   You’re the only one who can say whether a thought is a whisper or a dragon trying to get your attention.   You can tell when there’s a dragon holding you back because there’s no movement. If your weight is keeping you from feeling good and stepping out to do new things, then you’ve got a dragon on your hands. If you use your unhappy marriage as an excuse for not doing what you want to do and feeling the way you want to feel, then you might have a dragon on your hands.   So what’s keeping you from your castle? What does your dragon feed on? And how can you fight it without blowing up your life?   I have a lot of experience with dragons. I’ve spent so much time trying to figure out how to deal with dragons, resisting, and trying hard to ignore them. It’s exhausting. I’ve found that it’s nearly impossible to over power the dragons and the only way I can deal with my dragons is to transform my relationship with them.   Remember, we’ve said - we always have at least 2 choices - change the situation or change how we feel about the situation.   I’ve decided to make friends with dragons, so I can manage them better - and it’s working.   Here’s an example of how I’m doing this. This is really vulnerable, but the biggest example from my life recently has been my wine dragon. I don’t think if myself as an alcoholic, but I did start to notice that my consumption was increasing and that the day after I had wine, I didn’t feel great. The next day, I ended up eating food that was bad for me - instead of sticking to my eating plan. The day after I had wine, I wasn’t very motivated. I got less work done. And I felt a little sad.   The wine dragon was messing with my self-esteem and my weight and my motivation, so I tried to not have wine - but the dragon kept after me. I would have just a little and then always a little more. I would plan to not have any, and then have some anyway.   The problem with dragons is - when you give in to them a little, they just get stronger and wear you down.   I felt deprived every time I didn’t have wine and even felt a little angry that I couldn’t enjoy wine like everyone else AND feel good and get everything done. This went on for a while, tearing down my self-esteem, paralyzing my work, and if I’m totally honest here, making me feel a bit depressed and disempowered.   This dragon was keeping me from feeling good and getting the things done that really mattered to me. I realized that wine was getting to be a dragon in my life.   Then I started working on this concept of using personal style to create the life you want to live. I was telling people that all of the small, ordinary choices they make, add up to how they feel and then create the experiences they have in their lives. That we always have a choice - to change the situation or change how we feel about the situation.   And it dawned on me - that the only way I could tame this dragon was by changing how I felt about it.   If I kept thinking of wine as something I wanted, I would never get away from the dragon. It would never be satisfied and the consequences would be the same every single time, as they have always been.   Instead, I decided to focus on wanting the things I really, really wanted so much. To feel crisp and sharp and good everyday. To get my projects going. To feel proud of myself.   To get there, I spent time really concentrating and feeling in my bones how good it would feel to have these things. I intentionally made personal style choices that supported what I wanted - I set up my office to feel productive and professional, I bought flowers for myself, I wore clothes that made me feel strong, and I set up routines to help me get into the emotional state I wanted to be in - feeling really confident, sharp, and happy as a non-drinker - in order to be an emotional match to the feeling I wanted for myself.   I decided that not having wine was a gift I was giving to myself - because I wanted something else for myself more.   I intentionally shifted my feeling from deprived to feeling genuinely good about getting stuff done and making better choices for myself. Slowly but surely, this became more important to me than the momentary fun of having a glass of wine. It became my new normal way of being.   Now, I’m not perfect and I still have wine from time to time, but I think about it totally differently now - and to be honest, I usually regret it - but I don’t beat myself up about it like I used to. I just note how it feels and use that information to help me make a decision the next time the dragon comes after me.   I don’t know if wine will be a dragon for me for the rest of my life, or if it’s just during this season. I’m okay with waiting to find out because I like how I feel right now.   I want to feel good, more than I want wine - I know that’s true for me right now and I think I will always be tweaking my life to make it more the way I want it to be. Maybe you guys can relate to having dragons and a perfectly imperfect life like I do - I’d love to hear about your dragons if you want to shoot me a note over on the website - www.stylewithintentionpodcast.com. Let me know what you’re struggling with.   It all comes down to the small, ordinary decisions you make every day - this is what adds up to an ideal life. You can decide how you want to feel every day. You have so much more power to decide than you might realize - you have the tools already to take control and make your life the way you want it to be.   If you can get clear on how it will feel to live in that castle, your ideal life - really let yourself dream of what would feel amazing to you - it will help you make those small, ordinary decisions which will help you get there.   I’m right here with you - we can do this together.   I’m figuring out how I can live my ideal life and best serve people. I’m still figuring out my kids, my relationships, my weight, my routines, my future - but I know how I want to feel and I know I enjoy sharing the things I’m learning about.   I love sharing this journey with you and I so appreciate the notes and feedback I’m getting. Please keep it coming - it’s really helpful!   Thanks for listening to my story and for supporting this podcast. It means a lot to me.   I’ll catch you in the next season of Style With Intention - bye, bye for now!    BONUS CONTENT Be sure to download this bonus content - we're sharing "5 Simple Phrases" which will help you own your day - and, really, your whole life! These phrases will help you do things like...set limits politely and firmly, ask for what you want without being demanding, and take yourself out of the impossible job of trying to figure out what will make other people happy! When you have the right words to help you say what you want to say, when you need to say it, you have the power to take control and make your life more the way you want it to be! Click HERE to get the bonus content and we’ll send it out right away!     P.S. If you’re new to podcasts, check out our free Podcast Cheat Sheet - it’ll tell you everything you need to know about tuning in, downloading, listening on the go, and sharing podcasts! Click HERE to get your copy!     Header image by Paul Green

All the choices you make either bring you closer to your ideal life or keep you from it. You may have to go through difficult things to get there, endure setbacks, and you may even have to face dragons.   Here are the biggest takeaways from this episode: <ul> <li>How the “whispers” can help you dream up your ideal life.</li> <li>Why letting yourself dream feels risky even though not dreaming is riskier.</li> <li>The difference between whispers and dragons (hint: one doesn’t help you).</li> <li>How to stop feeling deprived.</li> <li>I’ll also share how I’m dealing with my own personal dragons.</li> </ul> Hey there! Thanks for joining me today! In this episode we are going to talk about “slaying your dragons.”   Yes, dragons. A dragon is anything that’s keeping you away from what you really want out of your ideal life, aka your castle (see what I’m doing here...).  Dragons can be small diversions that often seem like short-cuts -- or nagging things like self-doubt, bad habits - or even a not-so-happy relationship, depending on how they affect your life.  Dragons are totally different for everyone - and only you know what your dragons are. You’ll be dealing with dragons all your life, so you may as well learn how to make friends with them! Join me in learning how to sort through what your dragons are and how you can use the small, ordinary decisions you make every day to create a life you want to live. (Hint - you already have everything it takes to do this!). As always, my goal is to make it quicker and easier for you to access more ease, joy, and intention in your life...because happy looks really, really good!   Enjoy the show! <a href="https://anniekip.leadpages.co/serve-leadbox/144abf5f3f72a2:128c25b66346dc" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank"></a> BONUS CONTENT Be sure to download this bonus content - we're sharing <a href="https://anniekip.leadpages.co/serve-leadbox/144abf5f3f72a2:128c25b66346dc" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank">"5 Simple Phrases"</a> which will help you own your day - and, really, your whole life! These phrases will help you do things like...set limits politely and firmly, ask for what you want without being demanding, and take yourself out of the impossible job of trying to figure out what will make other people happy! When you have the right words to help you say what you want to say, when you need to say it, you have the power to take control and make your life more the way you want it to be! Click <a href="https://anniekip.leadpages.co/serve-leadbox/144abf5f3f72a2:128c25b66346dc" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a> to get the bonus content and we’ll send it out right away! ______   If you’d rather read than listen, here's the FULL TRANSCRIPT OF EPISODE #10 - SLAY YOUR DRAGONS   Welcome to the <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/id1315334164" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank">Style With Intention podcast</a>, where we talk about how to use your personal style choices as a tool to create a life you love.   We believe choice is empowering, complacency is boring, and happy looks really, really good!   I’m your host, Annie Kip, and this is our last episode of season 1. We’re going to talk about what is keeping you from getting what you want out of your life.   What would your ideal life feel like? What would it feel like? Have you ever taken the time to really put that thought together in detail?   It’s something that’s easy to put off. We get busy and we’re fairly happy. We figure we don’t have that much control anyway and we assume things will work out. There are kids and jobs and parents and spouses and laundry to do.   Thinking about what you really want from your life might even feel risky - what if you dream up something that seems out of reach. It might even seem self-indulgent and entitled to you. Or frivolous. But what if you never take the time to think about what you want?  Whose preferences are deciding what your life is like. Or, What if you like the direction you’re headed in, but you get derailed? What if you end up somewhere that isn’t where you wanted to be?   Especially if you feel like you’ve lost track of what you want - my suggestion is to start with imagining how you want to feel - <a href="http://anniekipstyle.com/episode2" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank">by listening to the “whispers” - we talked about this in episode 2</a> - they are the small, quiet voices that tell you about what makes your heart sing.   They’re the reactions and the little bits of feedback your brain gives you whenever something lights you up. The whispers can sometimes really hard to hear and even harder to hold onto - but if you pay attention and practice listening, they’re there, trying to help you get crystal clear on what you really want. When you’re sorting through all the various thoughts in your head, you can recognize the whispers because they’re soft, and calm, and unassuming - not loud, pushy or berating.   They give you clues to the core of who you are and tell you about what you make you happy.   For instance, think about how it would feel in your ideal life, if you - had a job or didn’t have a job? What is the work you would love to do? How would that feel every day? Would you like to feel purposeful, valued, appreciated, loved? Would you feel good if you had a mission that drives you and fulfilled you? Would you feel good if you rested more? What about relationships - how do you want to feel with the important people in your life? Your space - what would your ideal space feel like?   If you’re quiet and still, it’s a lot easier to listen to the whispers and notice the places that resonate with you.   For a minute, I want you to think about your ideal life as a metaphorical castle. The place where all your fairy tale dreams come true - Where you get to live the way you want to live, your ideal life... Where you get to do what you want, Where you get everything you need.   Your castle is the one place where you get to feel the way you want to feel every day.   To get to that good feeling state, to get to this castle - you have to do certain things. All the little choices you make in your life either bring you closer to your castle or keep you from it.   If you’re like most people, you may have to go through difficult things to get to your ideal life. Make tough decisions. Travel through rough terrain. Endure setbacks. Face challenges.   You may even have to face dragons.   Now, dragons are the opposite of the <a href="http://anniekipstyle.com/episode2" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank">whispers</a>. The dragons in your life can be loud and demanding or subtle and wiley.   Sometimes, they sneak up on you and trip you. Other times they can be big and strong and block your way and make you feel scared and afraid to move forward.   They take your attention away from what you really want and tempt you with diversions that might seem like a short-cut or an easier way to feel good, but at least in the short term, will keep you from getting to your castle - your ideal life.   In the end, the dragons can wear you down and make you wonder if getting to your ideal life is even really worth the effort.   Only you know what your dragons are. They could be anything that’s keeping you from doing what you really want to do. A dragon could be self-doubt. A dragon could be the extra weight you keep wanting to lose or just your habit of not getting up when you planned to. A dragon could be eating food that you know will make you feel bad. A dragon could be just being shy and afraid to reach out.   Dragons are totally different for everyone and they will even vary over your lifetime. You may not have the same dragons all your life - and when you do conquer a dragon, there’s often another dragon waiting in the wings.   A dragon doesn’t care about you and your goals, it only cares about the immediate situation. It can create crisis and panic and it’s hard to ignore. It can make you think that giving in to this one temptation will be fine.   Just this once, you skip the gym or flirt with someone you shouldn’t. Maybe you eat a cookie for breakfast, because you were in a rush. Or you just keep to yourself, instead of reaching out.   You figure if you just feed the dragon a little, it might calm down and leave you alone. What’s the harm?   The confusing thing is that sometimes, those choices do make you feel good - And there’s no dragon behind them. Sometimes it’s hard to tell the difference between dragons, which are trying to hurt you, and whispers, which are trying to help you.   After all, sometimes you do get an emotional boost from taking a break or resting. You don’t always have to be strong and push forward and go go go. Plenty of people stay in marriages that are not 100% what they want. Lots of people decide to buy bigger clothes, rather than lose weight. There’s nothing inherently wrong with any of these decision or deciding to sleep or have a cookie.   The problem comes when feeding the dragon makes it stronger and it keeps you from getting where you want to go. It hold you back or makes you ashamed. That’s how you know it’s a dragon.   A dragon makes you feel bad, it berates you, it makes you fearful, worried, and steals your time - while a whisper feels calm and clear and sure. A whisper doesn’t need to yell - it’s confident and composed, even quiet and subtle.   You’re the only one who can say whether a thought is a whisper or a dragon trying to get your attention.   You can tell when there’s a dragon holding you back because there’s no movement. If your weight is keeping you from feeling good and stepping out to do new things, then you’ve got a dragon on your hands. If you use your unhappy marriage as an excuse for not doing what you want to do and feeling the way you want to feel, then you might have a dragon on your hands.   So what’s keeping you from your castle? What does your dragon feed on? And how can you fight it without blowing up your life?   I have a lot of experience with dragons. I’ve spent so much time trying to figure out how to deal with dragons, resisting, and trying hard to ignore them. It’s exhausting. I’ve found that it’s nearly impossible to over power the dragons and the only way I can deal with my dragons is to transform my relationship with them.   Remember, we’ve said - we always have at least 2 choices - change the situation or change how we feel about the situation.   I’ve decided to make friends with dragons, so I can manage them better - and it’s working.   Here’s an example of how I’m doing this. This is really vulnerable, but the biggest example from my life recently has been my wine dragon. I don’t think if myself as an alcoholic, but I did start to notice that my consumption was increasing and that the day after I had wine, I didn’t feel great. The next day, I ended up eating food that was bad for me - instead of sticking to my eating plan. The day after I had wine, I wasn’t very motivated. I got less work done. And I felt a little sad.   The wine dragon was messing with my self-esteem and my weight and my motivation, so I tried to not have wine - but the dragon kept after me. I would have just a little and then always a little more. I would plan to not have any, and then have some anyway.   The problem with dragons is - when you give in to them a little, they just get stronger and wear you down.   I felt deprived every time I didn’t have wine and even felt a little angry that I couldn’t enjoy wine like everyone else AND feel good and get everything done. This went on for a while, tearing down my self-esteem, paralyzing my work, and if I’m totally honest here, making me feel a bit depressed and disempowered.   This dragon was keeping me from feeling good and getting the things done that really mattered to me. I realized that wine was getting to be a dragon in my life.   Then I started working on this concept of using personal style to create the life you want to live. I was telling people that all of the small, ordinary choices they make, add up to how they feel and then create the experiences they have in their lives. That we always have a choice - to change the situation or change how we feel about the situation.   And it dawned on me - that the only way I could tame this dragon was by changing how I felt about it.   If I kept thinking of wine as something I wanted, I would never get away from the dragon. It would never be satisfied and the consequences would be the same every single time, as they have always been.   Instead, I decided to focus on wanting the things I really, really wanted so much. To feel crisp and sharp and good everyday. To get my projects going. To feel proud of myself.   To get there, I spent time really concentrating and feeling in my bones how good it would feel to have these things. I intentionally made personal style choices that supported what I wanted - I set up my office to feel productive and professional, I bought flowers for myself, I wore clothes that made me feel strong, and I set up routines to help me get into the emotional state I wanted to be in - feeling really confident, sharp, and happy as a non-drinker - in order to be an emotional match to the feeling I wanted for myself.   I decided that not having wine was a gift I was giving to myself - because I wanted something else for myself more.   I intentionally shifted my feeling from deprived to feeling genuinely good about getting stuff done and making better choices for myself. Slowly but surely, this became more important to me than the momentary fun of having a glass of wine. It became my new normal way of being.   Now, I’m not perfect and I still have wine from time to time, but I think about it totally differently now - and to be honest, I usually regret it - but I don’t beat myself up about it like I used to. I just note how it feels and use that information to help me make a decision the next time the dragon comes after me.   I don’t know if wine will be a dragon for me for the rest of my life, or if it’s just during this season. I’m okay with waiting to find out because I like how I feel right now.   I want to feel good, more than I want wine - I know that’s true for me right now and I think I will always be tweaking my life to make it more the way I want it to be. Maybe you guys can relate to having dragons and a perfectly imperfect life like I do - I’d love to hear about your dragons if you want to shoot me a note over on the website - <a href="http://www.stylewithintentionpodcast.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.stylewithintentionpodcast.com</a>. Let me know what you’re struggling with.   It all comes down to the small, ordinary decisions you make every day - this is what adds up to an ideal life. You can decide how you want to feel every day. You have so much more power to decide than you might realize - you have the tools already to take control and make your life the way you want it to be.   If you can get clear on how it will feel to live in that castle, your ideal life - really let yourself dream of what would feel amazing to you - it will help you make those small, ordinary decisions which will help you get there.   I’m right here with you - we can do this together.   I’m figuring out how I can live my ideal life and best serve people. I’m still figuring out my kids, my relationships, my weight, my routines, my future - but I know how I want to feel and I know I enjoy sharing the things I’m learning about.   I love sharing this journey with you and I so appreciate the notes and feedback I’m getting. Please keep it coming - it’s really helpful!   Thanks for listening to my story and for supporting this podcast. It means a lot to me.   I’ll catch you in the next season of Style With Intention - bye, bye for now!   <a href="https://anniekip.leadpages.co/serve-leadbox/144abf5f3f72a2:128c25b66346dc" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank"></a> BONUS CONTENT Be sure to download this bonus content - we're sharing <a href="https://anniekip.leadpages.co/serve-leadbox/144abf5f3f72a2:128c25b66346dc" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank">"5 Simple Phrases"</a> which will help you own your day - and, really, your whole life! These phrases will help you do things like...set limits politely and firmly, ask for what you want without being demanding, and take yourself out of the impossible job of trying to figure out what will make other people happy! When you have the right words to help you say what you want to say, when you need to say it, you have the power to take control and make your life more the way you want it to be! Click <a href="https://anniekip.leadpages.co/serve-leadbox/144abf5f3f72a2:128c25b66346dc" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a> to get the bonus content and we’ll send it out right away!     P.S. If you’re new to podcasts, check out our free <a href="http://anniekipstyle.com/podcast-cheat-sheet/" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank">Podcast Cheat Sheet</a> - it’ll tell you everything you need to know about tuning in, downloading, listening on the go, and sharing podcasts! Click <a href="http://anniekipstyle.com/podcast-cheat-sheet/" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a> to get your copy!     Header image by Paul Green

#10 - Slaying Your Personal Dragons And Living Your Ideal Life

  Your environment has a huge impact on your emotions - and you can use it to feel happier. We can aggressively use style and design to maintain an elevated feeling state and get back to feeling happier more quickly when we're not feeling so great.   Here are the biggest takeaways from this episode:  The relationship between our environments and how we feel can feel happier (this is about so much more than making spaces “look good”). A totally new way to think about design (hint: you matter). How to aggressively use style &amp; design to create and maintain a happier feeling state. How being happier lends itself to better thinking (i.e. feeling good is TOTALLY worth making some small changes).  Hey there! Thank you for tuning in!  Today we’re talking about a how you can get yourself into a happier state of mind more often!  This is a topic that can affect every aspect of your life. Your environment has a huge impact on your emotions - - and the good news is - - design is something we have control over.  It’s one of the best tools around to help you create a happier state of mind. It can be as simple as the colors and textures and sizes of furniture in your home. Or maybe you need to set up a space in your home that’s just for you to relax and wind down? (My dad always had “his chair” and I think each of us deserves our own special place in our homes!) The key is to know where you are and what you want to feel - so you can always be reaching for the next better feeling! As always, my goal is to make it quicker and easier for you to access more ease, joy, and intention in your life...because happy looks really, really good!   Enjoy the show!  BONUS CONTENT To help you get started, we've got really great bonus content for today’s show. We're sharing our "How To Access a Happy State Of Mind" guide so can you identify where you are right now and the next higher feeling you can reach for in your quest for a happy state of mind. (I think some of these will surprise you!) You can use this one-page guide to check in with yourself, identify the happier feeling you want to feel, and set up your environment with whatever supports you need to get there. I recommend you download it - right now - so you’ll have it anytime you need a little help -all you have to do is identify where you are now and reach for the next best emotion. It's so much easier to take small steps toward a happier state of mind, than to attempt a big leap. Give it a shot this week - now’s the best time to start taking control of how you feel. Click HERE to get the bonus content and we’ll send it out right away! __   In case you'd rather read than listen... FULL TRANSCRIPT OF EPISODE #3 HOW TO ACCESS A HAPPY STATE OF MIND Welcome to the Style With Intention podcast, where we talk about how to use your personal style as a tool to create the life you want to live. We believe choice is empowering, complacency is boring, and happy looks really, really, good! Hi there and welcome to the show. I’m your host, Annie Kip and today we’re talking about how you can get yourself into a happier state of mind more often. As an interior decorator, you would think that I’m all about making things look nice. And I do love pretty spaces and all the pictures I see in glossy magazines. Perfectly styled rooms are great, but they aren’t all there is to my kind of interior design. For me, there is an important element of psychology in interior design that often gets overlooked. If we were to sit together over a cup of tea, and I were to tell you what I really think about when I am helping a client work on their space, you would hear me talk more about being happy than about fabrics, or lighting, or furniture layouts. Sure those are the tools I use, but creating more experiences of “happy” is what I do. It’s intentional work. I believe that your environments can have a huge impact on your emotions. I think we can aggressively use style and design to maintain an elevated feeling state and use our environments to get back on track more quickly when we are not feeling so great. Because we will always get off track. Life is a continuous process of experiencing what we like, then experiencing what we don’t like, and trying to get back to experiencing what we do like. After a long day of work. While the kids are driving you crazy. When you hear news that makes it feel like your world is out of control. We're always trying to get back to a state of happy. I believe that “happy” is your home state. I believe it’s your resting state. Your normal state of equilibrium. It has to be - because the world works so much better when people are happy. So much more gets done when you’re happy. Things just seem to flow - Both at work and at home and even when you’re relaxing. A happy mind can think of new ideas. You have easy access to a sense of expansiveness which opens and relaxes you even more. Brainstorming doesn’t feel quite as difficult or vulnerable - it feels more like a game of possibility. A happy state lends itself to exploration, new solutions, and compromises you didn’t see before. Sometimes, the problem doesn’t even seem like a problem from the solid, grounded perspective of a mind in a happy state. You might think “Oh, I guess it doesn’t matter that much to me after all” or “It’s fine with me, either way.” It’s easier to say  “Hey, why don’t we try this?” or “This is what I really want” when you are in a happy state of mind. It’s contagious too. When you’re genuinely, unconsciously just happy - people want to be around you. They want to be on your team. They pick you for their team. They want to do your bidding. It’s an invisible, powerful force of goodness that replicates itself every time it is shared. I’ve said in other other episodes: that I believe your feelings are powerful, but they aren’t facts. You have a lot of influence here. If you don’t agree with this, you are essentially giving in to the mercy of your reactions and feelings. Which may or may not be based in reality - remember the example I gave of a person who is safe but believes they are in grave danger and another person who might be in a lot of danger, but have no idea of it, so they feel completely safe? Feelings are where our thoughts come from - and thoughts control what we do. I’m not suggesting that you can fool yourself into believing you are a rock star, king of the world or anything else you don’t really believe is true - actually, only a little bit. I’m suggesting that you can choose what you focus on - and you can focus on things that will get you into a better feeling state. Small steps will help you be more successful with this - it’s super hard to go from depressed to elated - but you might be able to go from sad, to grateful. Or from angry, to compassionate. Or from hopeful, to excited. It takes effort. You have to really try to concentrate and intentionally feel the feeling you want to experience in your bones for it to stick with you and become real. Start small. And before you know it, you will find that “happy” really does feel like your natural state of mind. If you do choose to try this, you are taking control of the one thing that sets the tone of the rest of your life. Your feelings are the root of how you interact with people, how you see your life, and the thoughts that result in your behaviors. My expertise is in creating the home systems and environments that make you feel the way you want to feel. My weapon of choice is interior design. My goal is to first understand what people need to feel good - because “good” means different things to different people - “good” might mean peaceful to one person, energizing to another, and cozy and intimate to yet another person. We use color, textures, layouts, and everything we can to create spaces that make people feel the way they want to feel. There are no prescriptions or rules for this - it’s a new way of thinking about interior design and it’s completely personal and unique to you. I help people figure it out, but I also believe that people have within them all the info they need to create happy spaces for themselves. It just takes focused intention to do it. In my opinion, setting up your life to help you feel better, hopeful, and happier more more of the time is well worth the effort it takes. Just taking control feels good, but getting to a happier state will show you that this is really where you are meant to spend most of your time. And practicing only makes it easier to get back here, when you experience the less happy parts of life. You can try it out this week, by imagining how you want to feel at home. Take the time to think about what you can do to give yourself that feeling ahead of time. Do you need a space that is all your own? Do the colors around you lift you up or bring you down. When you look around, what catches your eye? Does it make you happy? You can make the style choices which will give you more access to the feelings you want to have - which will give you those experiences which make you feel good more of the time. Because happy really is supposed to be your natural state, the way you feel most of the time. If you think this episode would be helpful for a friend, you can share it very easily - on your iPhone, I’d love to hear from you about how this is working for you, so feel free to drop me a note and let me know! Thanks for listening today. Until next week, keep making your life look the way you want to feel! Bye, bye for now! Be sure to download the free bonus content for this episode! We are sharing our "How To Access a Happy State Of Mind" guide so can you identify where you are right now and reach for the next higher feeling in your quest for a happy state of mind.  Click HERE to get the bonus content and we'll send it out right away!     P.S. Also, remember - if you’re new to listening to podcasts, check out the Podcast Cheat Sheet for everything you need to know about finding, downloading, and listening to podcasts! Click HERE to get it!

Your environment has a huge impact on your emotions - and you can use it to feel happier. We can aggressively use style and design to maintain an elevated feeling state and get back to feeling happier more quickly when we're not feeling so great.   Here are the biggest takeaways from this episode: <ul> <li>The relationship between our environments and how we feel can feel happier (this is about so much more than making spaces “look good”).</li> <li>A totally new way to think about design (hint: you matter).</li> <li>How to aggressively use style &amp; design to create and maintain a happier feeling state.</li> <li>How being happier lends itself to better thinking (i.e. feeling good is TOTALLY worth making some small changes).</li> </ul> Hey there! Thank you for tuning in!  Today we’re talking about a how you can get yourself into a happier state of mind more often!  This is a topic that can affect every aspect of your life. Your environment has a huge impact on your emotions - - and the good news is - - design is something we have control over.  It’s one of the best tools around to help you create a happier state of mind. It can be as simple as the colors and textures and sizes of furniture in your home. Or maybe you need to set up a space in your home that’s just for you to relax and wind down? (My dad always had “his chair” and I think each of us deserves our own special place in our homes!) The key is to know where you are and what you want to feel - so you can always be reaching for the next better feeling! As always, my goal is to make it quicker and easier for you to access more ease, joy, and intention in your life...because happy looks really, really good!   Enjoy the show! <a href="https://anniekip.leadpages.co/serve-leadbox/1465c9273f72a2:128c25b66346dc" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank"></a> BONUS CONTENT To help you get started, we've got really great bonus content for today’s show. We're sharing our <a href="https://anniekip.leadpages.co/serve-leadbox/1465c9273f72a2:128c25b66346dc" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank">"How To Access a Happy State Of Mind"</a> guide so can you identify where you are right now and the next higher feeling you can reach for in your quest for a happy state of mind. (I think some of these will surprise you!) You can use this one-page guide to check in with yourself, identify the happier feeling you want to feel, and set up your environment with whatever supports you need to get there. I recommend you download it - right now - so you’ll have it anytime you need a little help -all you have to do is identify where you are now and reach for the next best emotion. It's so much easier to take small steps toward a happier state of mind, than to attempt a big leap. Give it a shot this week - now’s the best time to start taking control of how you feel. Click <a href="https://anniekip.leadpages.co/serve-leadbox/1465c9273f72a2:128c25b66346dc" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a> to get the bonus content and we’ll send it out right away! __   In case you'd rather read than listen... FULL TRANSCRIPT OF EPISODE #3 HOW TO ACCESS A HAPPY STATE OF MIND Welcome to the <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/id1315334164" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank">Style With Intention podcast</a>, where we talk about how to use your personal style as a tool to create the life you want to live. We believe choice is empowering, complacency is boring, and happy looks really, really, good! Hi there and welcome to the show. I’m your host, Annie Kip and today we’re talking about how you can get yourself into a happier state of mind more often. As an interior decorator, you would think that I’m all about making things look nice. And I do love pretty spaces and all the pictures I see in glossy magazines. Perfectly styled rooms are great, but they aren’t all there is to my kind of interior design. For me, there is an important element of psychology in interior design that often gets overlooked. If we were to sit together over a cup of tea, and I were to tell you what I really think about when I am helping a client work on their space, you would hear me talk more about being happy than about fabrics, or lighting, or furniture layouts. Sure those are the tools I use, but creating more experiences of “happy” is what I do. It’s intentional work. I believe that your environments can have a huge impact on your emotions. I think we can aggressively use style and design to maintain an elevated feeling state and use our environments to get back on track more quickly when we are not feeling so great. Because we will always get off track. Life is a continuous process of experiencing what we like, then experiencing what we don’t like, and trying to get back to experiencing what we do like. After a long day of work. While the kids are driving you crazy. When you hear news that makes it feel like your world is out of control. <a href="https://anniekip.leadpages.co/serve-leadbox/1465c9273f72a2:128c25b66346dc" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank">We're always trying to get back to a state of happy.</a> I believe that “happy” is your home state. I believe it’s your resting state. Your normal state of equilibrium. It has to be - because the world works so much better when people are happy. So much more gets done when you’re happy. Things just seem to flow - Both at work and at home and even when you’re relaxing. A happy mind can think of new ideas. You have easy access to a sense of expansiveness which opens and relaxes you even more. Brainstorming doesn’t feel quite as difficult or vulnerable - it feels more like a game of possibility. A happy state lends itself to exploration, new solutions, and compromises you didn’t see before. Sometimes, the problem doesn’t even seem like a problem from the solid, grounded perspective of a mind in a happy state. You might think “Oh, I guess it doesn’t matter that much to me after all” or “It’s fine with me, either way.” It’s easier to say  “Hey, why don’t we try this?” or <a href="http://anniekipstyle.com/episode-10" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank">“This is what I really want”</a> when you are in a happy state of mind. It’s contagious too. When you’re genuinely, unconsciously just happy - people want to be around you. They want to be on your team. They pick you for their team. They want to do your bidding. It’s an invisible, powerful force of goodness that replicates itself every time it is shared. I’ve said in other other episodes: that I believe your feelings are powerful, but they aren’t facts. You have a lot of influence here. If you don’t agree with this, you are essentially giving in to the mercy of your reactions and feelings. Which may or may not be based in reality - remember the example I gave of a person who is safe but believes they are in grave danger and another person who might be in a lot of danger, but have no idea of it, so they feel completely safe? Feelings are where our thoughts come from - and thoughts control what we do. I’m not suggesting that you can fool yourself into believing you are a rock star, king of the world or anything else you don’t really believe is true - actually, only a little bit. I’m suggesting that you can choose what you focus on - and you can focus on things that will get you into a better feeling state. Small steps will help you be more successful with this - it’s super hard to go from depressed to elated - but you might be able to go from sad, to grateful. Or from angry, to compassionate. Or from hopeful, to excited. It takes effort. You have to really try to concentrate and intentionally feel the feeling you want to experience in your bones for it to stick with you and become real. Start small. And before you know it, you will find that “happy” really does feel like your natural state of mind. If you do choose to try this, you are taking control of the one thing that sets the tone of the rest of your life. Your feelings are the root of how you interact with people, how you see your life, and the thoughts that result in your behaviors. My expertise is in creating the home systems and environments that make you feel the way you want to feel. My weapon of choice is interior design. My goal is to first understand what people need to feel good - because “good” means different things to different people - “good” might mean peaceful to one person, energizing to another, and cozy and intimate to yet another person. We use color, textures, layouts, and everything we can to create spaces that make people feel the way they want to feel. There are no prescriptions or rules for this - it’s a new way of thinking about interior design and it’s completely personal and unique to you. I help people figure it out, but I also believe that people have within them all the info they need to create happy spaces for themselves. It just takes focused intention to do it. In my opinion, setting up your life to help you feel better, hopeful, and happier more more of the time is well worth the effort it takes. Just taking control feels good, but getting to a happier state will show you that this is really where you are meant to spend most of your time. And practicing only makes it easier to get back here, when you experience the less happy parts of life. You can try it out this week, by imagining how you want to feel at home. Take the time to think about what you can do to give yourself that feeling ahead of time. Do you need a space that is all your own? Do the colors around you lift you up or bring you down. When you look around, what catches your eye? Does it make you happy? You can make the style choices which will give you more access to the feelings you want to have - which will give you those experiences which make you feel good more of the time. Because happy really is supposed to be your natural state, the way you feel most of the time. If you think this episode would be helpful for a friend, you can share it very easily - on your iPhone, I’d love to hear from you about how this is working for you, so feel free to drop me a note and let me know! Thanks for listening today. Until next week, keep making your life look the way you want to feel! Bye, bye for now! Be sure to download the free bonus content for this episode! We are sharing our <a href="https://anniekip.leadpages.co/serve-leadbox/1465c9273f72a2:128c25b66346dc" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank">"How To Access a Happy State Of Mind"</a> guide so can you identify where you are right now and reach for the next higher feeling in your quest for a happy state of mind. <a href="https://anniekip.leadpages.co/serve-leadbox/1465c9273f72a2:128c25b66346dc" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank"></a> Click <a href="https://anniekip.leadpages.co/serve-leadbox/1465c9273f72a2:128c25b66346dc" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a> to get the bonus content and we'll send it out right away!     P.S. Also, remember - if you’re new to listening to podcasts, check out the <a href="http://anniekipstyle.com/podcast-cheat-sheet/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Podcast Cheat Sheet</a> for everything you need to know about finding, downloading, and listening to podcasts! Click <a href="http://anniekipstyle.com/podcast-cheat-sheet/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a> to get it!

#3 - How To Access A Happy State Of Mind

* Manifesting * is simply the name we give to purposefully working with our subconscious mind to create the experiences we want to have in our conscious lives.    Click HERE to listen right now on iTunes!    THE BIGGEST TAKEAWAYS FROM THIS EPISODE:  What manifesting is and how you can use it. How to bring more of what you want into your life. The importance of alignment in creating genuine emotions. The counter-intuitive trick to manifesting.    Hey there, Thanks for tuning in!  Today we are going to dive into one of my favorite topics — intentional manifesting. If you’re not familiar with the concept, “manifesting” is the name we give to purposefully working with our subconscious mind to create the experiences we want to have in our conscious lives. Simply put — you get what you genuinely feel inside! Manifesting is both much more simple – and more subtle and nuanced than you might think. (This is definitely is not about wishing for a million dollars – and seeing it appear in your bank account the next day!) It’s about truly feeling and expecting your intention to happen, with same degree of confidence that you have in the sun coming up tomorrow — and let’s be real, recreating that feeling is much easier said than done.  Listen in today as we explore the role of manifesting in our lives and discuss some tools and exercises to help you invite more of what makes you happy into your life. As always, my goal is to make it quicker and easier for you to access more ease, joy, and intention in your life…because happy looks really, really good!  Enjoy the show!

* Manifesting * is simply the name we give to purposefully working with our subconscious mind to create the experiences we want to have in our conscious lives. <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/style-with-intention-podcast/id1315334164?mt=2" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> Click HERE to listen right now on iTunes!</a>   THE BIGGEST TAKEAWAYS FROM THIS EPISODE: <ul> <li>What manifesting is and how you can use it.</li> <li>How to bring more of what you want into your life.</li> <li>The importance of alignment in creating genuine emotions.</li> <li>The counter-intuitive trick to manifesting.</li> </ul> Hey there, <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/style-with-intention-podcast/id1315334164?mt=2" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank">Thanks for tuning in!</a>  Today we are going to dive into one of my favorite topics — intentional manifesting. If you’re not familiar with the concept, “manifesting” is the name we give to purposefully working with our subconscious mind to create the experiences we want to have in our conscious lives. Simply put — you get what you genuinely feel inside! Manifesting is both much more simple – and more subtle and nuanced than you might think. (This is definitely is not about wishing for a million dollars – and seeing it appear in your bank account the next day!) It’s about truly feeling and expecting your intention to happen, with same degree of confidence that you have in the sun coming up tomorrow — and let’s be real, recreating that feeling is much easier said than done. <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/style-with-intention-podcast/id1315334164?mt=2" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> Listen in today</a> as we explore the role of manifesting in our lives and discuss some tools and exercises to help you invite more of what makes you happy into your life. As always, my goal is to make it quicker and easier for you to access more ease, joy, and intention in your life…because happy looks really, really good! <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/style-with-intention-podcast/id1315334164?mt=2" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> Enjoy the show!</a>

#14 - Manifesting What You Really Want

Your energetic vibration and emotions are intricately connected – and they determine how you experience the world. You can choose higher vibrational energy to have better experiences!    Click HERE to listen right now on iTunes!    THE BIGGEST TAKEAWAYS FROM THIS EPISODE:  What energetic vibration is and how it affects us. How our emotional state is inextricably linked to our energetic vibration. How to use your emotional frequency to your advantage every day. Why you should reach for a better-feeling emotion each and every day.    Hey there, Thanks for being here today! Welcome to the Style With Intention podcast. We’re going to dive into a concept that is the basis for everything we talk about on this show. The idea is that our emotional state really does determine the experiences we have – and this is within our control! You can dial into an emotional state – just like you can dial into a station on the radio. Before you think I’m going all “woo woo” here – I want you to know that this is real science! (Quantum physics, baby!) AND you’ve probably already experienced it firsthand without even realizing it. Think about that negative friend who also always seems to have more and more problems in her life. Or those “rock star” days when you’ve got on a great outfit and your hair is working – and it seems like everything you do is super easy and fun.    Those scenarios are not mere coincidence, there’s more at play here!  Listen in today as we jump into the concept of energetic vibration and how you can use it to bring a sense of freedom and expansiveness into your life – and more “rock star” days! You have more power than you realize. As always, my goal is to make it quicker and easier for you to access more ease, joy, and intention in your life…because happy looks really, really good! Enjoy the show!

Your energetic vibration and emotions are intricately connected – and they determine how you experience the world. You can choose higher vibrational energy to have better experiences! <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/style-with-intention-podcast/id1315334164?mt=2" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> Click HERE to listen right now on iTunes!</a>    THE BIGGEST TAKEAWAYS FROM THIS EPISODE: <ul> <li>What energetic vibration is and how it affects us.</li> <li>How our emotional state is inextricably linked to our energetic vibration.</li> <li>How to use your emotional frequency to your advantage every day.</li> <li>Why you should reach for a better-feeling emotion each and every day.</li> </ul> Hey there, Thanks for being here today! Welcome to the <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/style-with-intention-podcast/id1315334164?mt=2" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank">Style With Intention podcast.</a> We’re going to dive into a concept that is the basis for everything we talk about on this show. The idea is that our emotional state really does determine the experiences we have – and this is within our control! You can dial into an emotional state – just like you can dial into a station on the radio. Before you think I’m going all “woo woo” here – I want you to know that this is real science! (Quantum physics, baby!) AND you’ve probably already experienced it firsthand without even realizing it. Think about that negative friend who also always seems to have more and more problems in her life. Or those “rock star” days when you’ve got on a great outfit and your hair is working – and it seems like everything you do is super easy and fun.    Those scenarios are not mere coincidence, there’s more at play here! <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/style-with-intention-podcast/id1315334164?mt=2" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> Listen in today</a> as we jump into the concept of energetic vibration and how you can use it to bring a sense of freedom and expansiveness into your life – and more “rock star” days! You have more power than you realize. As always, my goal is to make it quicker and easier for you to access more ease, joy, and intention in your life…because happy looks really, really good! <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/style-with-intention-podcast/id1315334164?mt=2" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank">Enjoy the show!</a>

#13 - How To Live In A High Energetic Vibration

A step-by-step method for choosing the way you want to feel and accessing genuinely happier feelings. You can reprogram your subconscious in as little as 17 seconds. The biggest takeaways from this episode:  Why you can't "just relax" or "calm down." A step-by-step method to experience the feelings you want to have. The control you do have over your subconscious feelings. A faster and easier to go from a low vibration to a high vibration.    Hey there, Thanks for being here today! Welcome to the Style With Intention podcast. Today's episode is all about wrangling your subconscious to give you the conscious experiences you want to have. Feelings of contentment, eagerness, optimism, and joy.  Listen in today as I share everything I've learned about the way our subconscious deals with emotions and how you can take control and access the better emotions you want to feel. When we understand how something works - it's easier to manage. This is the science behind our feelings!  Our bonus content this week gives you the specific steps you can take to get into a better feeling state, so be sure to download the one-page worksheet which will teach you "How To Choose The Way You Want to Feel" by clicking HERE. As always, my goal is to make it quicker and easier for you to access more ease, joy, and intention in your life...because happy looks really, really good! Enjoy the show! If you’re new to podcasts, check out our “Listening To Podcasts Cheat Sheet” for everything you need to know about downloading and listening to podcasts from your iPhone.   CLICK HERE TO SUBSCRIBEIf you’d rather read, than listen, here’s the FULL TRANSCRIPT OF EPISODE #22 HOW TO REPROGRAM YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS SO YOU CAN FEEL GENUINELY HAPPIER Welcome to the Style With Intention podcast, where we talk about how to use your personal style choices as a tool to create a life you love. We believe choice is empowering, complacency is boring, and happy looks really, really good! I’m your host, Annie Kip, and  today I’m going to share with you a trick I discovered. It’s literally something you can do every single time you are starting to notice feelings that you don’t want to have. This it s way to literally re-program your subconscious - and it’s more than just “think your happy thoughts” and believe that everything will all be okay. That doesn’t work for me. And if you’ve been trying to just be positive, you have probably found that it doesn’t work for you either. I know how ridiculous it is to say that to someone who’s feeling down. Just saying the words doesn’t work - but I’ve found that this technique really works for me when I’m feeling down. We’ve talked on this podcast about energetic vibration - and how that is tied to what you experience in your conscious reality. When you’re in a low mood, you can get sort of stuck in that low energetic vibrational place. I know what it’s like to be in a low mood. When things are challenging with my kids, particularly, I found myself getting down and a little blue. I knew I should just get out and go for a walk to try to shake off the mood, but honestly, I didn’t feel like it. I was just sort of stuck in my blue mood and needed a way to get myself out of it that didn’t take a lot of effort. I also noticed that there were times in my life when I could feel the higher energetic vibration. Sometimes, it had to do with what was going on - like after a really great meeting with a client or spending a great weekend with the beau. But there were times when a good feeling would seem to materialize out of nowhere and I wanted more of that. I’d find myself smiling at a thought or sort of car-dancing when as Earth, Wind, and Fire song came on the radio. Yes, I’m a girl who still loves all of the 80’s R and B and disco - from Al Jerreau to Rick James to The Commodores. Yes, I love them all. And you can’t stop me from dancing if they’re playing - but we can’t always be blasting Boogie Wonderland, now can we? I was interested in figuring out how to get more of that good feeling more of the time. If it came out of nowhere and felt so real that I could feel it in my body, I thought we must be able to summon it or conjure it up somehow. It was in listening to a recording of Abraham-Hicks in which they were simply asking a person whether they would rather feel “happy” or “sad,” Discouraged” or “encouraged,” bored” or “passionate” - and it gave me the idea to make this into a meditative process for myself. Abraham-Hicks says that it takes a minimum of 17 seconds of pure thought to activate the vibrational energy - and if you can string together several sessions of 17 seconds of pure, focused feeling and thought - you can actually make the vibration strong enough to start manifestation of those feelings and thoughts. If you can increase the time up to 68 seconds, you’re really getting into a powerful place of managing your thoughts and energetic vibration. Being down is a very low vibrational frequency - and it helps to have this process to follow without having to think. It’s a way of just “being” in the feeling you would rather be having. You know I’m not a doctor and I’m just sharing what I’m learning along the way - but if you’re feeling a little blue or stressed out or discouraged -- or if you just want to know what it feels like to actually raise your vibration - I invite you to give this a try. I am excited to share this with you because it’s something anyone can do, anytime, anywhere. And you don’t have to like 80’s R&amp;B and you don’t have to dance. In fact, I start this exercise right where you are. In your own funky town - the blue place full of feelings you don’t really want to be having. Here’s how it works: Instead, of jumping right to the happy feeling you want, my suggestion is the create the real good feelings you want to have in baby steps. This is based on my understanding that you have to feel a feeling, really feel it in your body, for your brain to accept it. Simply saying happy things to yourself doesn’t work - as anyone who’s been told to “just relax” or “calm down” or “get happy” can tell you. That doesn’t work. To me, it feels like the feeling it just outside of my reach. When I say things like that to myself, it just doesn’t stick. (and yes, I do believe that choosing to intentionally smile instead of frown, can help your body produce the chemicals that lead to a happier feeling - but this is an even fast route to genuine good feelings.) At the end of this episode, I’m going to do this with you - right on this recording, so you can queue it up anytime you need a little boost. We’re going to do it together and I’m going to guide you so you can learn to do it for yourself. I’ve also made a one-page worksheet called "How To Choose The Way You Want To Feel" for this episode's Bonus Content to get you started on your own. You can use the words on this one-page sheet to get all the benefit I am going to describe to you now. Or you can take my example and create something that is unique for you. Usually, I do this first thing in the morning but I also do it whenever I’m feeling stressed or overwhelmed. For instance, if I feel like my work is sort of a struggle. Or I’m feeling distracted or getting down about something. It only takes a few minutes and you can do it whenever and as many times it it makes sense for you. I use the Timer function on my iPhone and a list of words - first a word that identifies the feeling I don’t want, and then a word that is the opposite of that word. I think this will make more sense as I show you how it works. First I set my timer to 17 seconds - but I don’t start it yet. I start by just sitting still, closing my eyes, and letting myself feel the bad feeling just for a few seconds - for example struggle. I don’t fight it, I just sort of get into it for a few seconds, instead of resisting it - just for a few seconds. In the example of “struggle” - first, I might imagine how it feels when I’m working on a podcast and can’t get the right words to say what I want to say. I’m at my desk and staring out the window and panicking a little that I’m wasting time and I’ve got other things to do and my shoulders are hunching up and I’m getting tighter and tighter. I sit in “struggle” just until I can really feel it - and then I imagine the opposite. The opposite of struggle would feel like ease to me. At this point, I press the Start button and imagine the same scenario if ease were there instead of struggle. I close my eyes and for a full 17 seconds, I really try to get into the  opposite feeling. I let this word and the feelings associated with it just wash over me, like a warm shower. In my mind, I imagine specific examples of how it would feel - how it would show up in my life, what my body would feel like if I had the opposite feeling. When there’s ease, I can’t type fast enough because the words just flow out of me. I get into this feeling and try to really feel my fingers flying across my keyboard, typing, typing typing. And I try to feel how satisfying it feels when my words come out so easily and just make sense. I’m excited about the things I want to say and new insights I come to as I write and I think and before I know it - I’ve got a podcast written and ready to go. Then I imagine myself sitting down to record it and I feel how the words just flow so naturally out of my mouth. It feels so good to get it done so easily. By now the 17-seconds have gone by and the alarm has chimed. Optimally, you move right on to the next unwanted emotion word and it’s opposite word. The more times you spend 17 seconds imagining and really getting into the positive emotion, the better and better you will feel. If you can increase the time you focus on the positive emotion from 17 to 34 and then to 51 all the way to 68 that’s awesome - the more solidly you will be reprogramming your subconscious to feel the way you want to feel and activating that vibrational energy in your life. You are giving your brain the actual body-experience of those emotions you want to be having. You are reprogramming your brain’s neural pathways to be more comfortable and familiar with the positive emotions than the negative emotions. I’ve been doing this as a meditation in the morning and I can tell you it is making a huge difference for me all day. I feel much more settled and more aligned with the lighter, happier, easier feelings I want to have inside. I’m more aware when I’m not in a mindset that is helpful to me too - now that I know I can just go through this exercise to get access to the feelings I would rather have. If you’d like to try this, stop what you’re doing for a second. Pause this recording and get yourself to a place where you can take a few minutes to sit quietly by yourself. I’m going to guide you through this with my own timer - all you have to do is imagine the words I’m telling you and try to feel the feelings in your body as I talk. Really dig in to the sensations as much as you can. Give yourself over to this for a few minutes and I guarantee you will feel better after. Okay - are you ready? For a few seconds, I want you to get into the feeling of “worried” Now put aside worried and get into the feeling of “confident” for 17 seconds. Hopeful or sure Anxious or optimistic Anxious or excited Embarrassed or proud Now...open your eyes and sort of let it sink in. How do you feel? I know when I do this exercise and really feeling the feelings, I feel lighter and freer when I’m done. And everything seems a little easier. I find that I get more done and generally feel better - sort of easy and on top of things - all day. In the Bonus Content, I’m sharing this list of words  so you can try this immediately. It’s just a way to focus your feelings. And even though it’s sort of nice to just have a pre-made list and jump in, but I encourage you to make your own list. There might be particular bad feelings that seem to plague you all the time and you might have different words to describe the your feelings. Your list doesn’t have to be in any special order - it just has to be words that help you really conjure up the feelings so you can feel them in your body. I hope you got a really good feeling from this little exercise! Come on over to the Style With Intention Podcast website and send me a note or follow me on Instagram @AnnieKipStyle - I’d love to know how this worked for you! I’m always looking for ways to get into that good feeling state that I want to live more of my time in and share them with you - because I know that’s where all the good stuff in life happens for all of us! Until next week, keep setting up your life so that it naturally helps you feel more the way you want to feel everyday, because happy looks really, really good! Bye, bye for now!   Click here to get the FREE one-page worksheet: "How To Choose The Way You Want To Feel"  LINKS: For more info on Abraham Hicks - http://www.abraham-hicks.com/lawofattractionsource/index.php   All about changing your brain - https://www.fastcompany.com/3045424/what-it-takes-to-change-your-brains-patterns-after-age-25   Header image by: Erol Ahmed                       Download the BONUS CONTENT here: "How To Choose The Way You Want To Feel"

A step-by-step method for choosing the way you want to feel and accessing genuinely happier feelings. You can reprogram your subconscious in as little as 17 seconds. The biggest takeaways from this episode: <ul> <li>Why you can't "just relax" or "calm down."</li> <li>A step-by-step method to experience the feelings you want to have.</li> <li>The control you do have over your subconscious feelings.</li> <li>A faster and easier to go from a low vibration to a high vibration.</li> </ul>   Hey there, Thanks for being here today! Welcome to the <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/style-with-intention-podcast/id1315334164?mt=2" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank">Style With Intention podcast.</a> Today's episode is all about wrangling your subconscious to give you the conscious experiences you want to have. Feelings of contentment, eagerness, optimism, and joy. <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/style-with-intention-podcast/id1315334164?mt=2" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> Listen in today</a> as I share everything I've learned about the way our subconscious deals with emotions and how you can take control and access the better emotions you want to feel. When we understand how something works - it's easier to manage. This is the science behind our feelings!  Our bonus content this week gives you the specific steps you can take to get into a better feeling state, so be sure to download the one-page worksheet which will teach you <a href="https://anniekip.lpages.co/22-reprogram-your-subconscious/" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank">"How To Choose The Way You Want to Feel"</a> by clicking <a href="https://anniekip.lpages.co/22-reprogram-your-subconscious/" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>. As always, my goal is to make it quicker and easier for you to access more ease, joy, and intention in your life...because happy looks really, really good! <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/style-with-intention-podcast/id1315334164?mt=2" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank">Enjoy the show!</a><a href="https://anniekip.lpages.co/22-reprogram-your-subconscious/" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank"></a> If you’re new to podcasts, check out our <a href="http://anniekipstyle.com/podcast-cheat-sheet/" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank">“Listening To Podcasts Cheat Sheet”</a> for everything you need to know about downloading and listening to podcasts from your iPhone.   <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/style-with-intention-podcast/id1315334164?mt=2" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank">CLICK HERE TO SUBSCRIBE</a>If you’d rather read, than listen, here’s the FULL TRANSCRIPT OF EPISODE #22 HOW TO REPROGRAM YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS SO YOU CAN FEEL GENUINELY HAPPIER Welcome to the Style With Intention podcast, where we talk about how to use your personal style choices as a tool to create a life you love. We believe choice is empowering, complacency is boring, and happy looks really, really good! I’m your host, Annie Kip, and  today I’m going to share with you a trick I discovered. It’s literally something you can do every single time you are starting to notice feelings that you don’t want to have. This it s way to literally re-program your subconscious - and it’s more than just “think your happy thoughts” and believe that everything will all be okay. That doesn’t work for me. And if you’ve been trying to just be positive, you have probably found that it doesn’t work for you either. I know how ridiculous it is to say that to someone who’s feeling down. Just saying the words doesn’t work - but I’ve found that this technique really works for me when I’m feeling down. We’ve talked on this podcast about energetic vibration - and how that is tied to what you experience in your conscious reality. When you’re in a low mood, you can get sort of stuck in that low energetic vibrational place. I know what it’s like to be in a low mood. When things are challenging with my kids, particularly, I found myself getting down and a little blue. I knew I should just get out and go for a walk to try to shake off the mood, but honestly, I didn’t feel like it. I was just sort of stuck in my blue mood and needed a way to get myself out of it that didn’t take a lot of effort. I also noticed that there were times in my life when I could feel the higher energetic vibration. Sometimes, it had to do with what was going on - like after a really great meeting with a client or spending a great weekend with the beau. But there were times when a good feeling would seem to materialize out of nowhere and I wanted more of that. I’d find myself smiling at a thought or sort of car-dancing when as Earth, Wind, and Fire song came on the radio. Yes, I’m a girl who still loves all of the 80’s R and B and disco - from Al Jerreau to Rick James to The Commodores. Yes, I love them all. And you can’t stop me from dancing if they’re playing - but we can’t always be blasting Boogie Wonderland, now can we? I was interested in figuring out how to get more of that good feeling more of the time. If it came out of nowhere and felt so real that I could feel it in my body, I thought we must be able to summon it or conjure it up somehow. It was in listening to a recording of <a href="http://www.abraham-hicks.com/lawofattractionsource/index.php" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank">Abraham-Hicks</a> in which they were simply asking a person whether they would rather feel “happy” or “sad,” Discouraged” or “encouraged,” bored” or “passionate” - and it gave me the idea to make this into a meditative process for myself. <a href="http://www.abraham-hicks.com/lawofattractionsource/index.php" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank">Abraham-Hicks</a> says that it takes a minimum of 17 seconds of pure thought to activate the vibrational energy - and if you can string together several sessions of 17 seconds of pure, focused feeling and thought - you can actually make the vibration strong enough to start manifestation of those feelings and thoughts. If you can increase the time up to 68 seconds, you’re really getting into a powerful place of managing your thoughts and energetic vibration. Being down is a very low vibrational frequency - and it helps to have this process to follow without having to think. It’s a way of just “being” in the feeling you would rather be having. You know I’m not a doctor and I’m just sharing what I’m learning along the way - but if you’re feeling a little blue or stressed out or discouraged -- or if you just want to know what it feels like to actually raise your vibration - I invite you to give this a try. I am excited to share this with you because it’s something anyone can do, anytime, anywhere. And you don’t have to like 80’s R&amp;B and you don’t have to dance. In fact, I start this exercise right where you are. In your own funky town - the blue place full of feelings you don’t really want to be having. Here’s how it works: Instead, of jumping right to the happy feeling you want, my suggestion is the create the real good feelings you want to have in baby steps. This is based on my understanding that you have to feel a feeling, really feel it in your body, for your brain to accept it. Simply saying happy things to yourself doesn’t work - as anyone who’s been told to “just relax” or “calm down” or “get happy” can tell you. That doesn’t work. To me, it feels like the feeling it just outside of my reach. When I say things like that to myself, it just doesn’t stick. (and yes, I do believe that choosing to intentionally smile instead of frown, can help your body produce the chemicals that lead to a happier feeling - but this is an even fast route to genuine good feelings.) At the end of this episode, I’m going to do this with you - right on this recording, so you can queue it up anytime you need a little boost. We’re going to do it together and I’m going to guide you so you can learn to do it for yourself. I’ve also made a one-page worksheet called <a href="https://anniekip.lpages.co/22-reprogram-your-subconscious/" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank">"How To Choose The Way You Want To Feel"</a> for this episode's <a href="https://anniekip.lpages.co/22-reprogram-your-subconscious/" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank">Bonus Content</a> to get you started on your own. You can use the words on this one-page sheet to get all the benefit I am going to describe to you now. Or you can take my example and create something that is unique for you. Usually, I do this first thing in the morning but I also do it whenever I’m feeling stressed or overwhelmed. For instance, if I feel like my work is sort of a struggle. Or I’m feeling distracted or getting down about something. It only takes a few minutes and you can do it whenever and as many times it it makes sense for you. I use the Timer function on my iPhone and a list of words - first a word that identifies the feeling I don’t want, and then a word that is the opposite of that word. I think this will make more sense as I show you how it works. First I set my timer to 17 seconds - but I don’t start it yet. I start by just sitting still, closing my eyes, and letting myself feel the bad feeling just for a few seconds - for example struggle. I don’t fight it, I just sort of get into it for a few seconds, instead of resisting it - just for a few seconds. In the example of “struggle” - first, I might imagine how it feels when I’m working on a podcast and can’t get the right words to say what I want to say. I’m at my desk and staring out the window and panicking a little that I’m wasting time and I’ve got other things to do and my shoulders are hunching up and I’m getting tighter and tighter. I sit in “struggle” just until I can really feel it - and then I imagine the opposite. The opposite of struggle would feel like ease to me. At this point, I press the Start button and imagine the same scenario if ease were there instead of struggle. I close my eyes and for a full 17 seconds, I really try to get into the  opposite feeling. I let this word and the feelings associated with it just wash over me, like a warm shower. In my mind, I imagine specific examples of how it would feel - how it would show up in my life, what my body would feel like if I had the opposite feeling. When there’s ease, I can’t type fast enough because the words just flow out of me. I get into this feeling and try to really feel my fingers flying across my keyboard, typing, typing typing. And I try to feel how satisfying it feels when my words come out so easily and just make sense. I’m excited about the things I want to say and new insights I come to as I write and I think and before I know it - I’ve got a podcast written and ready to go. Then I imagine myself sitting down to record it and I feel how the words just flow so naturally out of my mouth. It feels so good to get it done so easily. By now the 17-seconds have gone by and the alarm has chimed. Optimally, you move right on to the next unwanted emotion word and it’s opposite word. The more times you spend 17 seconds imagining and really getting into the positive emotion, the better and better you will feel. If you can increase the time you focus on the positive emotion from 17 to 34 and then to 51 all the way to 68 that’s awesome - the more solidly you will be reprogramming your subconscious to feel the way you want to feel and activating that vibrational energy in your life. You are giving your brain the actual body-experience of those emotions you want to be having. You are reprogramming your brain’s neural pathways to be more comfortable and familiar with the positive emotions than the negative emotions. I’ve been doing this as a meditation in the morning and I can tell you it is making a huge difference for me all day. I feel much more settled and more aligned with the lighter, happier, easier feelings I want to have inside. I’m more aware when I’m not in a mindset that is helpful to me too - now that I know I can just go through this exercise to get access to the feelings I would rather have. If you’d like to try this, stop what you’re doing for a second. Pause this recording and get yourself to a place where you can take a few minutes to sit quietly by yourself. I’m going to guide you through this with my own timer - all you have to do is imagine the words I’m telling you and try to feel the feelings in your body as I talk. Really dig in to the sensations as much as you can. Give yourself over to this for a few minutes and I guarantee you will feel better after. Okay - are you ready? For a few seconds, I want you to get into the feeling of “worried” Now put aside worried and get into the feeling of “confident” for 17 seconds. Hopeful or sure Anxious or optimistic Anxious or excited Embarrassed or proud Now...open your eyes and sort of let it sink in. How do you feel? I know when I do this exercise and really feeling the feelings, I feel lighter and freer when I’m done. And everything seems a little easier. I find that I get more done and generally feel better - sort of easy and on top of things - all day. In the <a href="https://anniekip.lpages.co/22-reprogram-your-subconscious/" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank">Bonus Content</a>, I’m sharing this list of words  so you can try this immediately. It’s just a way to focus your feelings. And even though it’s sort of nice to just have a pre-made list and jump in, but I encourage you to make your own list. There might be particular bad feelings that seem to plague you all the time and you might have different words to describe the your feelings. Your list doesn’t have to be in any special order - it just has to be words that help you really conjure up the feelings so you can feel them in your body. I hope you got a really good feeling from this little exercise! Come on over to the Style With Intention Podcast website and send me a note or follow me on Instagram @AnnieKipStyle - I’d love to know how this worked for you! I’m always looking for ways to get into that good feeling state that I want to live more of my time in and share them with you - because I know that’s where all the good stuff in life happens for all of us! Until next week, keep setting up your life so that it naturally helps you feel more the way you want to feel everyday, because happy looks really, really good! Bye, bye for now!   Click here to get the FREE one-page worksheet: <a href="https://anniekip.lpages.co/22-reprogram-your-subconscious/" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank">"How To Choose The Way You Want To Feel"</a> <a href="https://anniekip.lpages.co/22-reprogram-your-subconscious/" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank"></a> LINKS: For more info on Abraham Hicks - <a href="http://www.abraham-hicks.com/lawofattractionsource/index.php" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">http://www.abraham-hicks.com/lawofattractionsource/index.php</a>   All about changing your brain - <a href="https://www.fastcompany.com/3045424/what-it-takes-to-change-your-brains-patterns-after-age-25" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.fastcompany.com/3045424/what-it-takes-to-change-your-brains-patterns-after-age-25</a>   Header image by: Erol Ahmed                       Download the BONUS CONTENT here: <a href="https://anniekip.lpages.co/22-reprogram-your-subconscious/" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank">"How To Choose The Way You Want To Feel"</a>

#22 - Reprogram Your Subconscious So You Can Feel Genuinely Happier

#6 - How To Get The Good Sleep You Need

How to intentionally develop self-worth and teach others to treat you well with how you treat yourself. The importance of understanding that no one is going to value you more than you value yourself.    Click HERE to listen right now on iTunes!   THE BIGGEST TAKEAWAYS FROM THIS EPISODE:  Self-worth is key to teaching others how to treat us. Why no one is going to value you more than you value yourself. How knowing your self-worth helps you and everyone else around you. How I learned the importance of self-value the hard way. The attributes of women who value themselves.    Hey there, Thanks for tuning in! In this episode we’ll be talking about something that is critical to your happiness – self-worth.    As parents, partners, and good workers we can be so focused on taking care of other people that we often fall into habits of neglecting ourselves in small ways that can really start to add up and get in our way. When you lose track of your self-worth and stop doing the things you love – the things that make your heart happy! – you lose a little bit of what makes you – YOU! You lose a little of your spark. And that’s not good for you or anyone else! You can decide how you want to be treated and the best place to start is with the way you respect and treat yourself.  Listen in today as I share the 7 Secrets of Women Who Value Themselves. This is what I aspire to and I hope it gives you something to reach for as well. As always, my goal is to make it quicker and easier for you to access more ease, joy, and intention in your life…because happy looks really, really good! Enjoy the show!

How to intentionally develop self-worth and teach others to treat you well with how you treat yourself. The importance of understanding that no one is going to value you more than you value yourself. <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/style-with-intention-podcast/id1315334164?mt=2" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> Click HERE to listen right now on iTunes!</a>   THE BIGGEST TAKEAWAYS FROM THIS EPISODE: <ul> <li>Self-worth is key to teaching others how to treat us.</li> <li>Why no one is going to value you more than you value yourself.</li> <li>How knowing your self-worth helps you and everyone else around you.</li> <li>How I learned the importance of self-value the hard way.</li> <li>The attributes of women who value themselves.</li> </ul> Hey there, Thanks for tuning in! In this episode we’ll be talking about something that is critical to your happiness – self-worth.    As parents, partners, and good workers we can be so focused on taking care of other people that we often fall into habits of neglecting ourselves in small ways that can really start to add up and get in our way. When you lose track of your self-worth and stop doing the things you love – the things that make your heart happy! – you lose a little bit of what makes you – YOU! You lose a little of your spark. And that’s not good for you or anyone else! You can decide how you want to be treated and the best place to start is with the way you respect and treat yourself. <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/style-with-intention-podcast/id1315334164?mt=2" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> Listen in today</a> as I share the 7 Secrets of Women Who Value Themselves. This is what I aspire to and I hope it gives you something to reach for as well. As always, my goal is to make it quicker and easier for you to access more ease, joy, and intention in your life…because happy looks really, really good! <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/style-with-intention-podcast/id1315334164?mt=2" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank">Enjoy the show!</a>

#12 - 7 Secrets Of Women Who Value Themselves

We're going to look at our lives from the perspective of our past - 20-30 years from now - and think about whether we are happy with how we lived. The biggest takeaways from this episode:  Why it's never too late to make start making your past something to smile about. How trying to keep things the same can get in your way. Why age is a privilege. Questions to ask yourself about how you want to live.    Hey there, Thanks for being here today! Welcome to the Style With Intention podcast. In today's episode, we're going to look at our lives from the perspective of our past - 20-30 years from now - and think about whether we are happy with how we lived. Ever since I decided to get divorced (way back in 2003), I've been thinking about my life this way. I decided that I would like to look back, as an 80-year-old, and say to myself "well, THAT was an interesting ride!" rather than looking back and saying to myself, "wow, you were a really good compromiser!"  Listen in today for the questions you can ask yourself to more quickly get into this frame of mind and think about whether you're living the way you want to live - and whether your life will be something that yoou look back on and smile about. As always, my goal is to make it quicker and easier for you to access more ease, joy, and intention in your life...because happy looks really, really good! Enjoy the show!CLICK HERE TO SUBSCRIBEIf you’d rather read, than listen, here’s the FULL TRANSCRIPT OF EPISODE #20 PLAN TO MAKE YOUR PAST SOMETHING TO SMILE ABOUT Welcome to the  Style With Intention podcast, where we talk about how to use your personal style choices as a tool to create a life you love. We believe choice is empowering, complacency is boring, and happy looks really, really good! I’m your host, Annie Kip, and I’m so glad you’re here today! Today, we are stepping into the perspective of your future self and we’re looking at our past and deciding if we lived the way we wanted to live.   Time goes by so quickly - often we don’t want to look at the reality of that or our past - and that our days are whizzing by and they’re adding up into years. We don’t see ourselves as middle-aged - it just doesn’t feel like that! In fact, I hesitate to use that word when I’m titling an episode. Nobody wants to hear “middle-aged.”   Even me - I used to feel sorry for people whose kids had gone off to college. You know, I wondered - what they do all day? It just seemed sort of sad without the purpose of young kids and getting them off to school. Do they have anything to do? Are they drifting? I saw their wrinkly knees and their gray hair and I wondered - are they depressed? How could they let themselves go like that?   And now I know that age is just a number - right?   Well, the numbers don’t lie - 50 is half-way to 100. I resisted this fact for awhile. I put a lot of time and effort into holding onto the appearance of youth - and I was losing the battle!   You know one day I was commiserating with a friend about color oing our hair. There were reasons we felt we had to keep doing it: So other people wouldn’t think we looked old. So random men would think we were pretty - which we realized was really ridiculous, because we really only cared what our partners. Then we also thought we do it because we don’t want our kids to be embarrassed of us. It was ridiculous. It wasn’t who we wanted to be. It certainly wasn’t who I wanted to be. And literally after that conversation, I stopped coloring my hair. I considered it my 50th birthday present to myself.   We all do things that make us feel the way we used to feel.   Everyone has their own strategy - it could be hair coloring, it could be exercising, it could be flirtations, fast cars, designer clothes, competition, or distracting yourself. There are lots of perfectly acceptable ways to cope and it’s all good until it doesn’t feel right anymore. At this point, we have a sense that we might be losing our chances to make our lives good. Sometimes, there’s a sense of urgency to that - and we feel like we need to make decisions and make changes, so we don’t lose our opportunity to finally make our lives the way we want them to be. People do all kinds of crazy (and not so crazy things) at midlife - like quitting their jobs, moving the the country, leaving their relationships, and buying stuff that makes them feel good. They hold on really tightly sometimes, not wanting things to change. They resist what “those young people are into” and they don’t want to get involved with the “new technology.” They stick to routines more than ever and they’re angry sometimes that the world is changing around them.   They’re hoping they can maintain the status quo, which can end up feeling sort of restrictive and controlling to the people around them. And sometimes, that brings about changes in their relationships, and their jobs, and their friends that they are trying so hard to avoid.   This is a time for clarification for all of us. We all have to look at ourselves and decide if this is how we want our lives to be. No one want to look back with regrets.   We’re standing in this unique place where we can look back at the past and see how we didn’t actually appreciate how young we were 10 years ago, and we can look forward and see that someday, we might wish for the way we feel right now, in spite of the wrinkles and the gray hair and the aches and pains.   I’d like to suggest that age is a privilege.   It gives us the unique ability and perspective to choose our battles. To figure out what really matters. We don’t have to resign ourselves to becoming irrelevant and invisible, just because we’re at middle age. Time is going by, but that doesn’t have to be a bad thing. We’ve lived long enough to see that, no matter how hard things might seem - even when the stock market crashes - we will get through them. All good things do show up, out of nowhere sometimes, when we least expect it.   It’s taken this many years to become who we are. We should be proud of that.   Now is the time to really zero in on what we like about ourselves and what we want. Refining our vision, we can finally be who we want to be. We can own it!   When our kids were little, we had to put our needs aside. We couldn’t even lift our heads up to look around and think about our lives. The days were so long, I remember, but looking back, the years were short. It’s okay now to think about what we want. We’ve paid our dues in a way.   Yeah, my kids still need me. I think they’ll always need us and we’ll always want to be there for them, but the endless little league games are no more. And those school concerts, which were so tortuous, and driving to activities is behind us. We can start to kind of pick our heads up and look around and take stock.   What’s going to be next for us? Who do we want to be in our kids lives? What’s the trajectory we’re on, because we will probably become more of the way we already are, unless we choose to do something different.     The next half of our lives could be the best half. What if we genuinely believed that? How would that change how you live everyday? What do you think that would do for your mind and opening it up to new possibilties and new opportunities and solutions you’d never considered before? What would that do for the moments? How would you live them differently? Would you appreciate them more? Would you walk away from fights? Would you love more?   This podcast is about creating a life that’s based on feeling great - and all the benefits that naturally come from that - confidence, style, deep connections, self-awareness, manifesting, and feeling happy every day. It’s about living the truth - choosing what you do and think intentionally and owning your own brilliance.   I have plenty of insights and tips and real life stories and interviews coming up, but this is an evolving project and I always want to hear from you - what you do and don’t like, and what serves you best.   I’m sort of on a mission to make middle-age our new prime. If you’re not happy with your life, this is the time to make it better. Figure out what your vision for yourself is and figure out how you’re going to make it real. Start with how you want to feel - start with yourself. This is the sweet spot. Become the person who lives that life you see for yourself and the possibilities will open up. It’s never too late.   The truest “you” you can be, is the best gift you can give your family and friends.   On the podcast, we’ll keep strategizing about what would move the needle toward happier. We’ll tease out what’s weighing you down, we’ll figure out how to get the gumption to do what the thing we think we cannot do. Together, we’ll look at what requires us to dig deep, when it’s worth it, and what you need to let go of sometimes.   We’ll figure out where you can shine and what you can do to shine more.   What would it be like to stop pushing so hard? And let your enthusiasm just sweep you along. The things you’ve been putting off may be the most rewarding. The solutions may surprise you with their elegant simplicity.   Whatever it is you do, do it for yourself at this point in your life.  In the end, there is only you. You’re solely accountable for your one small life.   Any age can be your prime. Let’s walk away from all the years of striving, and start to enjoy and embrace who we’ve become - and get excited about where we’re headed next. It’s about time.   When your past is all you have left, will you smile at yourself? Let’s make sure you do! _____ Be sure to download the Bonus Content for this episode!

We're going to look at our lives from the perspective of our past - 20-30 years from now - and think about whether we are happy with how we lived. The biggest takeaways from this episode: <ul> <li>Why it's never too late to make start making your past something to smile about.</li> <li>How trying to keep things the same can get in your way.</li> <li>Why age is a privilege.</li> <li>Questions to ask yourself about how you want to live.</li> </ul>   Hey there, Thanks for being here today! Welcome to the <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/style-with-intention-podcast/id1315334164?mt=2" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank">Style With Intention podcast.</a> In today's episode, we're going to look at our lives from the perspective of our past - 20-30 years from now - and think about whether we are happy with how we lived. Ever since I decided to get divorced (way back in 2003), I've been thinking about my life this way. I decided that I would like to look back, as an 80-year-old, and say to myself "well, THAT was an interesting ride!" rather than looking back and saying to myself, "wow, you were a really good compromiser!" <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/style-with-intention-podcast/id1315334164?mt=2" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> Listen in today</a> for the questions you can ask yourself to more quickly get into this frame of mind and think about whether you're living the way you want to live - and whether your life will be something that yoou look back on and smile about. As always, my goal is to make it quicker and easier for you to access more ease, joy, and intention in your life...because happy looks really, really good! <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/style-with-intention-podcast/id1315334164?mt=2" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank">Enjoy the show!</a><a href="https://anniekip.leadpages.co/serve-leadbox/1465c9273f72a2:128c25b66346dc" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank"></a><a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/style-with-intention-podcast/id1315334164?mt=2" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank">CLICK HERE TO SUBSCRIBE</a>If you’d rather read, than listen, here’s the FULL TRANSCRIPT OF EPISODE #20 PLAN TO MAKE YOUR PAST SOMETHING TO SMILE ABOUT Welcome to the <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/style-with-intention-podcast/id1315334164?mt=2" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> Style With Intention podcast</a>, where we talk about how to use your personal style choices as a tool to create a life you love. We believe choice is empowering, complacency is boring, and happy looks really, really good! I’m your host, Annie Kip, and I’m so glad you’re here today! Today, we are stepping into the perspective of your future self and we’re looking at our past and deciding if we lived the way we wanted to live.   Time goes by so quickly - often we don’t want to look at the reality of that or our past - and that our days are whizzing by and they’re adding up into years. We don’t see ourselves as middle-aged - it just doesn’t feel like that! In fact, I hesitate to use that word when I’m titling an episode. <a href="http://anniekipstyle.com/18-midlife-new-prime/" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank">Nobody wants to hear “middle-aged.”</a>   Even me - I used to feel sorry for people whose kids had gone off to college. You know, I wondered - what they do all day? It just seemed sort of sad without the purpose of young kids and getting them off to school. Do they have anything to do? Are they drifting? I saw their wrinkly knees and their gray hair and I wondered - are they depressed? How could they let themselves go like that?   And now I know that age is just a number - right?   Well, the numbers don’t lie - 50 is half-way to 100. I resisted this fact for awhile. I put a lot of time and effort into holding onto the appearance of youth - and I was losing the battle!   You know one day I was commiserating with a friend about color oing our hair. There were reasons we felt we had to keep doing it: So other people wouldn’t think we looked old. So random men would think we were pretty - which we realized was really ridiculous, because we really only cared what our partners. Then we also thought we do it because we don’t want our kids to be embarrassed of us. It was ridiculous. It wasn’t who we wanted to be. It certainly wasn’t who I wanted to be. And literally after that conversation, I stopped coloring my hair. I considered it my 50th birthday present to myself.   We all do things that make us feel the way we used to feel.   Everyone has their own strategy - it could be hair coloring, it could be exercising, it could be flirtations, fast cars, designer clothes, competition, or distracting yourself. There are lots of perfectly acceptable ways to cope and it’s all good until it doesn’t feel right anymore. At this point, we have a sense that we might be losing our chances to make our lives good. Sometimes, there’s a sense of urgency to that - and we feel like we need to make decisions and make changes, so we don’t lose our opportunity to finally make our lives the way we want them to be. People do all kinds of crazy (and not so crazy things) at midlife - like quitting their jobs, moving the the country, leaving their relationships, and buying stuff that makes them feel good. They hold on really tightly sometimes, not wanting things to change. They resist what “those young people are into” and they don’t want to get involved with the “new technology.” They stick to routines more than ever and they’re angry sometimes that the world is changing around them.   They’re hoping they can maintain the status quo, which can end up feeling sort of restrictive and controlling to the people around them. And sometimes, that brings about changes in their relationships, and their jobs, and their friends that they are trying so hard to avoid.   This is a time for clarification for all of us. We all have to look at ourselves and decide if this is how we want our lives to be. No one want to look back with regrets.   We’re standing in this unique place where we can look back at the past and see how we didn’t actually appreciate how young we were 10 years ago, and we can look forward and see that someday, we might wish for the way we feel right now, in spite of the wrinkles and the gray hair and the aches and pains.   I’d like to suggest that age is a privilege.   It gives us the unique ability and perspective to choose our battles. To figure out what really matters. We don’t have to resign ourselves to becoming irrelevant and invisible, just because we’re at middle age. Time is going by, but that doesn’t have to be a bad thing. We’ve lived long enough to see that, no matter how hard things might seem - even when the stock market crashes - we will get through them. All good things do show up, out of nowhere sometimes, when we least expect it.   It’s taken this many years to become who we are. <a href="http://anniekipstyle.com/18-midlife-new-prime/" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank">We should be proud of that.</a>   Now is the time to really zero in on what we like about ourselves and what we want. Refining our vision, we can finally be who we want to be. We can own it!   When our kids were little, we had to put our needs aside. We couldn’t even lift our heads up to look around and think about our lives. The days were so long, I remember, but looking back, the years were short. It’s okay now to think about what we want. We’ve paid our dues in a way.   Yeah, my kids still need me. I think they’ll always need us and we’ll always want to be there for them, but the endless little league games are no more. And those school concerts, which were so tortuous, and driving to activities is behind us. We can start to kind of pick our heads up and look around and take stock.   What’s going to be next for us? Who do we want to be in our kids lives? What’s the trajectory we’re on, because we will probably become more of the way we already are, unless we choose to do something different.     The next half of our lives could be the best half. What if we genuinely believed that? How would that change how you live everyday? What do you think that would do for your mind and opening it up to new possibilties and new opportunities and solutions you’d never considered before? What would that do for the moments? How would you live them differently? Would you appreciate them more? Would you walk away from fights? Would you love more?   This podcast is about creating a life that’s based on feeling great - and all the benefits that naturally come from that - confidence, style, deep connections, self-awareness, manifesting, and feeling happy every day. It’s about living the truth - choosing what you do and think intentionally and owning your own brilliance.   I have plenty of insights and tips and real life stories and interviews coming up, but this is an evolving project and I always want to hear from you - what you do and don’t like, and what serves you best.   I’m sort of on a mission to make middle-age our new prime. <a href="http://anniekipstyle.com/18-midlife-new-prime/" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank">If you’re not happy with your life, this is the time to make it better.</a> Figure out what your vision for yourself is and figure out how you’re going to make it real. Start with how you want to feel - start with yourself. This is the sweet spot. Become the person who lives that life you see for yourself and the possibilities will open up. It’s never too late.   The truest “you” you can be, is the best gift you can give your family and friends.   On the podcast, we’ll keep strategizing about what would move the needle toward happier. We’ll tease out what’s weighing you down, we’ll figure out how to get the gumption to do what the thing we think we cannot do. Together, we’ll look at what requires us to dig deep, when it’s worth it, and what you need to let go of sometimes.   We’ll figure out where you can shine and what you can do to shine more.   <a href="http://anniekipstyle.com/19-give-up-struggle-just-be/" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank">What would it be like to stop pushing so hard?</a> And let your enthusiasm just sweep you along. The things you’ve been putting off may be the most rewarding. The solutions may surprise you with their elegant simplicity.   Whatever it is you do, do it for yourself at this point in your life.  In the end, there is only you. You’re solely accountable for your one small life.   <a href="http://anniekipstyle.com/18-midlife-new-prime/" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank">Any age can be your prime.</a> Let’s walk away from all the years of striving, and start to enjoy and embrace who we’ve become - and get excited about where we’re headed next. It’s about time.   When your past is all you have left, will you smile at yourself? Let’s make sure you do! _____ Be sure to download the Bonus Content for this episode!

#20 - Plan To Make Your Past Something To Smile About

Get out of your own way by transforming your “have to’s” into “get to’s” and start looking forward to what’s next for you.     Click HERE to listen right now on iTunes!    THE BIGGEST TAKEAWAYS FROM THIS EPISODE:  Why feeling deprived is blocking your ability to manifest. How to shift from feeling deprived to being happy with your choices. The mindset which will help raise your emotion state. How making judgments will derail you.    Hey there! Today’s episode goes into a mindset that I’ve been working on for myself. In all this work I’ve been doing around manifesting and intention, it’s become really clear that the way we feel about whatever we’re doing in our lives affects how open or closed we are to having good experiences. I came up with this way to change my perspective on things that really didn’t feel great in my own life – like dealing with the ups and downs that come with being the mom of teenagers, and not having enough time with the beau, and my recent choice to stay away from alcohol. I found that, if I really stepped back and thought about it – there were good things to focus on. I’ve picked apart each of the situations that feel like a “have to” and found some “get to’s” to feel better about. For example, I get to feel proud of being there for my son and showing him love, even when he’s cross with me – because I know that’s what he really needs. I get to experience the beau’s kindness and patience, as we try to manage our schedules. I get to feel clear and energized every morning that I wake up after not drinking the night before. I hope you’ll find some inspiration in today’s episode – to transform something that is hard in your life, into something that feels even just a little bit better! Enjoy the show!

Get out of your own way by transforming your “have to’s” into “get to’s” and start looking forward to what’s next for you.  <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/style-with-intention-podcast/id1315334164?mt=2" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> Click HERE to listen right now on iTunes!</a>    THE BIGGEST TAKEAWAYS FROM THIS EPISODE: <ul> <li>Why feeling deprived is blocking your ability to manifest.</li> <li>How to shift from feeling deprived to being happy with your choices.</li> <li>The mindset which will help raise your emotion state.</li> <li>How making judgments will derail you.</li> </ul> Hey there! <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/style-with-intention-podcast/id1315334164?mt=2" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank">Today’s episode</a> goes into a mindset that I’ve been working on for myself. In all this work I’ve been doing around manifesting and intention, it’s become really clear that the way we feel about whatever we’re doing in our lives affects how open or closed we are to having good experiences. I came up with this way to change my perspective on things that really didn’t feel great in my own life – like dealing with the ups and downs that come with being the mom of teenagers, and not having enough time with the beau, and my recent choice to stay away from alcohol. I found that, if I really stepped back and thought about it – there were good things to focus on. I’ve picked apart each of the situations that feel like a “have to” and found some “get to’s” to feel better about. For example, I get to feel proud of being there for my son and showing him love, even when he’s cross with me – because I know that’s what he really needs. I get to experience the beau’s kindness and patience, as we try to manage our schedules. I get to feel clear and energized every morning that I wake up after not drinking the night before. I hope you’ll find some inspiration in today’s episode – to transform something that is hard in your life, into something that feels even just a little bit better! <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/style-with-intention-podcast/id1315334164?mt=2" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank">Enjoy the show!</a>

#15 - A Mindset Shift To Stop Feeling Deprived

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