From your favorite one-time pastor/podcast host (of a podcast hosted by a pastor and a therapist), comes a new offering: The Naming the Real Podcast. This is another preview episode of this new podcast, which you can find and subscribe to at Apple Podcasts, on Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. But wait...there's more! Be excited, because new content is coming from Susette right here in the Desire Line Podcast feed very soon!

From your favorite one-time pastor/podcast host (of a podcast hosted by a pastor and a therapist), comes a new offering: The Naming the Real Podcast. This is another preview episode of this new podcast, which you can find and subscribe to at Apple Podcasts, on Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. But wait...there's more! Be excited, because new content is coming from Susette right here in the Desire Line Podcast feed very soon!

The Naming the Real Podcast: What is Happening Here? 

From your favorite one-time pastor/podcast host (of a podcast hosted by a pastor and a therapist), comes a new offering: The Naming the Real Podcast. Because--as you may remember--the right naming of things is the beginning of wisdom. Enjoy this episode from Brandon's new podcast, and then come join the party by subscribing. You can find it at Apple Podcasts, on Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. And...look out for new (amazing) content coming from Susette, right here in the Desire Line podcast feed!

From your favorite one-time pastor/podcast host (of a podcast hosted by a pastor and a therapist), comes a new offering: The Naming the Real Podcast. Because--as you may remember--the right naming of things is the beginning of wisdom. Enjoy this episode from Brandon's new podcast, and then come join the party by subscribing. You can find it at Apple Podcasts, on Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. And...look out for new (amazing) content coming from Susette, right here in the Desire Line podcast feed!

The Naming the Real Podcast: Are You Happy Now?

Brandon and Susette announce, The Desire Line Podcast is coming to an end. In this final episode they reminisce over their favorite memories from the past 3 years and recognize the wonderful content produced and relationships formed because of it. Susette and Brandon have exciting projects coming up; to stay up to date on them follow their social media channels. Until we meet again, may we all have the courage to walk the desire line...

Brandon and Susette announce, The Desire Line Podcast is coming to an end. In this final episode they reminisce over their favorite memories from the past 3 years and recognize the wonderful content produced and relationships formed because of it. Susette and Brandon have exciting projects coming up; to stay up to date on them follow their social media channels. Until we meet again, may we all have the courage to walk the desire line...

72 | Until We Meet Again

We jumped on mic for a bit for a raw episode talking about the CoronaVirus, Social Distancing, and how we're coping with this change.   Brandon identified the difference between Resistance and Acceptance, and aligned it with the normal emotional process of first fighting &amp; resisting change and things we can't control, and the freedom that comes from accepting reality and leaning in.  Susette walked us through the serenity prayer &amp; the 12 steps, which is a character development process that we all can use.  Especially Susette =) I hope you enjoy this off-the-cuff episode.   We care about you.  We're all doing our best.  Give yourself, and your people, grace as we're in this experience. 

We jumped on mic for a bit for a raw episode talking about the CoronaVirus, Social Distancing, and how we're coping with this change.   Brandon identified the difference between Resistance and Acceptance, and aligned it with the normal emotional process of first fighting &amp; resisting change and things we can't control, and the freedom that comes from accepting reality and leaning in.  Susette walked us through the serenity prayer &amp; the 12 steps, which is a character development process that we all can use.  Especially Susette =) I hope you enjoy this off-the-cuff episode.   We care about you.  We're all doing our best.  Give yourself, and your people, grace as we're in this experience.

71 | Social Distancing, CoronaVirus, and Coping with Anxiety

We are finishing our arc on abuse and discussion on recovery from abuse. Susette and Brandon bring up how family of origin affect abuse experiences, common phrases they hear that dismiss abuse, and the importance of creating boundaries on the path to forgiveness. There is no limit to how much we can thrive and flourish. Coping skills created from family of origin: the good and the bad. Functioning in the midst of dysfunction. Not judging and not comparing  Common phrases that minimizes and ignores a victim's pain. Before forgiveness can happen boundaries need to be set that provide physical and emotional safety.   RESOURCES Domestic Violence Hotline:  https://www.thehotline.org     Child Abuse Reporting    https://www.childwelfare.gov/organizations/?CWIGFunctionsaction=rols:main.dspList&amp;rolType=Custom&amp;RS_ID=%205     Elder Abuse:   https://www.justice.gov/elderjustice     Toxic Faith   https://www.amazon.com/dp/0877888256/ref=cm_sw_r_sms_c_api_i_yHyzEbTHV6EKN     Sexual Abuse Recovery: The Wounded Heart: Hope for Adult Victims of Childhood Sexual Abuse

We are finishing our arc on abuse and discussion on recovery from abuse. Susette and Brandon bring up how family of origin affect abuse experiences, common phrases they hear that dismiss abuse, and the importance of creating boundaries on the path to forgiveness. There is no limit to how much we can thrive and flourish. Coping skills created from family of origin: the good and the bad. Functioning in the midst of dysfunction. Not judging and not comparing  Common phrases that minimizes and ignores a victim's pain. Before forgiveness can happen boundaries need to be set that provide physical and emotional safety. RESOURCES Domestic Violence Hotline: <a href="https://www.thehotline.org/" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank"> https://www.thehotline.org</a>   Child Abuse Reporting  <a href="https://www.childwelfare.gov/organizations/?CWIGFunctionsaction=rols:main.dspList&amp;rolType=Custom&amp;RS_ID=%205" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank"> https://www.childwelfare.gov/organizations/?CWIGFunctionsaction=rols:main.dspList&amp;rolType=Custom&amp;RS_ID=%205</a>   Elder Abuse: <a href="https://www.justice.gov/elderjustice" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank"> https://www.justice.gov/elderjustice</a>   Toxic Faith <a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/0877888256/ref=cm_sw_r_sms_c_api_i_yHyzEbTHV6EKN" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank"> https://www.amazon.com/dp/0877888256/ref=cm_sw_r_sms_c_api_i_yHyzEbTHV6EKN</a>   Sexual Abuse Recovery: The Wounded Heart: Hope for Adult Victims of Childhood Sexual Abuse

70 | Flourishing Beyond Abuse Part 2

Susette and Brandon wrap up our arc on abuse by talking about recovery and how we can flourish, thrive and triumph in the face of our trauma. In this episode Susette shares experiences in which her body and mind show in a miraculous way how they are intertwined and Brandon calls us to live in compassion, not comparison, for ourselves and others who are in trauma. Recognizing and naming abuse. Triggers How the body reacts to triggers of abuse: reclaiming the value of the body Disassociation The importance of categorizing negative experiences as trauma and/or abuse while not comparing those experiences to others. RESOURCES Domestic Violence Hotline:  https://www.thehotline.org     Child Abuse Reporting    https://www.childwelfare.gov/organizations/?CWIGFunctionsaction=rols:main.dspList&amp;rolType=Custom&amp;RS_ID=%205     Elder Abuse:   https://www.justice.gov/elderjustice     Toxic Faith   https://www.amazon.com/dp/0877888256/ref=cm_sw_r_sms_c_api_i_yHyzEbTHV6EKN     Sexual Abuse Recovery: The Wounded Heart: Hope for Adult Victims of Childhood Sexual Abuse

Susette and Brandon wrap up our arc on abuse by talking about recovery and how we can flourish, thrive and triumph in the face of our trauma. In this episode Susette shares experiences in which her body and mind show in a miraculous way how they are intertwined and Brandon calls us to live in compassion, not comparison, for ourselves and others who are in trauma. Recognizing and naming abuse. Triggers How the body reacts to triggers of abuse: reclaiming the value of the body Disassociation The importance of categorizing negative experiences as trauma and/or abuse while not comparing those experiences to others. RESOURCES Domestic Violence Hotline: <a href="https://www.thehotline.org/" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank"> https://www.thehotline.org</a>   Child Abuse Reporting  <a href="https://www.childwelfare.gov/organizations/?CWIGFunctionsaction=rols:main.dspList&amp;rolType=Custom&amp;RS_ID=%205" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank"> https://www.childwelfare.gov/organizations/?CWIGFunctionsaction=rols:main.dspList&amp;rolType=Custom&amp;RS_ID=%205</a>   Elder Abuse: <a href="https://www.justice.gov/elderjustice" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank"> https://www.justice.gov/elderjustice</a>   Toxic Faith <a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/0877888256/ref=cm_sw_r_sms_c_api_i_yHyzEbTHV6EKN" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank"> https://www.amazon.com/dp/0877888256/ref=cm_sw_r_sms_c_api_i_yHyzEbTHV6EKN</a>   Sexual Abuse Recovery: The Wounded Heart: Hope for Adult Victims of Childhood Sexual Abuse

69 | Flourishing Beyond Abuse Part 1

Last episode we continued our discussion on  spiritual abuse. This week Brandon Cook shares a sermon he gave titled Forgiving Reality. In light of our arc on abuse we have explored the place forgiveness has on our path to healing from our trauma. Brandon takes the discussion a step further by suggesting that we have the choice to also forgive reality and the difficult circumstances and truths it brings.

Last episode we continued our discussion on  spiritual abuse. This week Brandon Cook shares a sermon he gave titled Forgiving Reality. In light of our arc on abuse we have explored the place forgiveness has on our path to healing from our trauma. Brandon takes the discussion a step further by suggesting that we have the choice to also forgive reality and the difficult circumstances and truths it brings.

68 | Forgiving Reality | Mental Health and the Church

Join us as we continue our conversation on spiritual abuse as we strive for differentiation and being well informed to identify health church relationships. "Spiritual Abuse is when someone use their spiritual authority or manipulates your natural spiritual longings to have power over you..." Brandon Cook. Power can come from hierarchy and position such as created by the influence of the business model and the church. We can decide what kind of power your pastor has. "And do not call anyone on earth 'father,' for you have one Father, and he is in heaven" Matthew 23:9 “Classically, there are three ways in which humans try to find transcendence--religious meaning--apart from God as revealed through the cross of Jesus: through the ecstasy of alcohol and drugs, through the ecstasy of recreational sex, through the ecstasy of crowds." - Eugene Peterson  As a leader there is a danger to find "ecstasy in crowds," and feed into ones own hype. "Superpastor" problem  RESOURCES Domestic Violence Hotline:  https://www.thehotline.org    Child Abuse Reporting     https://www.childwelfare.gov/organizations/?CWIGFunctionsaction=rols:main.dspList&amp;rolType=Custom&amp;RS_ID=%205     Elder Abuse:   https://www.justice.gov/elderjustice     Toxic Faith   https://www.amazon.com/dp/0877888256/ref=cm_sw_r_sms_c_api_i_yHyzEbTHV6EKN     Sexual Abuse Recovery: The Wounded Heart: Hope for Adult Victims of Childhood Sexual Abuse

Join us as we continue our conversation on spiritual abuse as we strive for differentiation and being well informed to identify health church relationships. "Spiritual Abuse is when someone use their spiritual authority or manipulates your natural spiritual longings to have power over you..." Brandon Cook. Power can come from hierarchy and position such as created by the influence of the business model and the church. We can decide what kind of power your pastor has. "And do not call anyone on earth 'father,' for you have one Father, and he is in heaven" Matthew 23:9 “Classically, there are three ways in which humans try to find transcendence--religious meaning--apart from God as revealed through the cross of Jesus: through the ecstasy of alcohol and drugs, through the ecstasy of recreational sex, through the ecstasy of crowds." - Eugene Peterson  As a leader there is a danger to find "ecstasy in crowds," and feed into ones own hype. "Superpastor" problem  RESOURCES Domestic Violence Hotline: <a href="https://www.thehotline.org/" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank"> https://www.thehotline.org</a>   Child Abuse Reporting  <a href="https://www.childwelfare.gov/organizations/?CWIGFunctionsaction=rols:main.dspList&amp;rolType=Custom&amp;RS_ID=%205" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank"> https://www.childwelfare.gov/organizations/?CWIGFunctionsaction=rols:main.dspList&amp;rolType=Custom&amp;RS_ID=%205</a>   Elder Abuse: <a href="https://www.justice.gov/elderjustice" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank"> https://www.justice.gov/elderjustice</a>   Toxic Faith <a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/0877888256/ref=cm_sw_r_sms_c_api_i_yHyzEbTHV6EKN" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank"> https://www.amazon.com/dp/0877888256/ref=cm_sw_r_sms_c_api_i_yHyzEbTHV6EKN</a>   Sexual Abuse Recovery: The Wounded Heart: Hope for Adult Victims of Childhood Sexual Abuse

67 | Spiritual Abuse Part 2 | Mental Health and the Church

Susette and Brandon explore the topic of spiritual abuse. They recognize that leaders who have authority of the spiritual lives of others have a great impact however a powerful ability to hurt those they lead.  They call us to view our pastors and other spiritual leaders in appropriate roles. As well as pointing out to leaders some of their followers may project their God, paternal, or maternal images onto them. Although the person of authority has responsibility to refrain from abusing their power we all have the ability to sustain healthy boundaries in these relationships.  Spiritual Abuse - a pattern of behavior used by one person to gain and maintain POWER and CONTROL over another. RESOURCES Domestic Violence Hotline:  https://www.thehotline.org     Child Abuse Reporting    https://www.childwelfare.gov/organizations/?CWIGFunctionsaction=rols:main.dspList&amp;rolType=Custom&amp;RS_ID=%205     Elder Abuse:   https://www.justice.gov/elderjustice     Toxic Faith   https://www.amazon.com/dp/0877888256/ref=cm_sw_r_sms_c_api_i_yHyzEbTHV6EKN     Sexual Abuse Recovery: The Wounded Heart: Hope for Adult Victims of Childhood Sexual Abuse

Susette and Brandon explore the topic of spiritual abuse. They recognize that leaders who have authority of the spiritual lives of others have a great impact however a powerful ability to hurt those they lead.  They call us to view our pastors and other spiritual leaders in appropriate roles. As well as pointing out to leaders some of their followers may project their God, paternal, or maternal images onto them. Although the person of authority has responsibility to refrain from abusing their power we all have the ability to sustain healthy boundaries in these relationships.  Spiritual Abuse - a pattern of behavior used by one person to gain and maintain POWER and CONTROL over another. RESOURCES Domestic Violence Hotline: <a href="https://www.thehotline.org/" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank"> https://www.thehotline.org</a>   Child Abuse Reporting  <a href="https://www.childwelfare.gov/organizations/?CWIGFunctionsaction=rols:main.dspList&amp;rolType=Custom&amp;RS_ID=%205" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank"> https://www.childwelfare.gov/organizations/?CWIGFunctionsaction=rols:main.dspList&amp;rolType=Custom&amp;RS_ID=%205</a>   Elder Abuse: <a href="https://www.justice.gov/elderjustice" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank"> https://www.justice.gov/elderjustice</a>   Toxic Faith <a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/0877888256/ref=cm_sw_r_sms_c_api_i_yHyzEbTHV6EKN" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank"> https://www.amazon.com/dp/0877888256/ref=cm_sw_r_sms_c_api_i_yHyzEbTHV6EKN</a>   Sexual Abuse Recovery: The Wounded Heart: Hope for Adult Victims of Childhood Sexual Abuse

66 | Spiritual Abuse | Mental Health and the Church

Susette and Brandon discuss what qualifies as emotional abuse and what does not. Although it is difficult to identify emotional abuse, they outline language and tools to help us be aware of the possible unhealthy power dynamics of relationships.  "Emotional abuse is an attempt to control, in just the same way that physical abuse is an attempt to control another person. The only difference is that the emotional abuser does not use physical hitting, kicking, pinching, grabbing, pushing, or other physical forms of harm. Rather the perpetrator of emotional abuse uses emotion as his or her weapon of choice.” - (See the article attached from Psychology Today) Gaslighting: a form of psychological manipulation. Codependent relationships and lack of differentiation in relationship can be a cause of emotional abuse Pervasive Behaviors are good indicators of the presence of emotional abuse. The heightened sensitivity non-reciprocal relationships have to covert abuse. Emotional Abuse by Andrea Matthews of Psychology Today https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/emotional-abuse Silently Seduced: When Parents Make their Children Partners - Understanding Covert Incest by Kenneth M. Adams Ph.D. RESOURCES Domestic Violence Hotline:  https://www.thehotline.org     Child Abuse Reporting    https://www.childwelfare.gov/organizations/?CWIGFunctionsaction=rols:main.dspList&amp;rolType=Custom&amp;RS_ID=%205     Elder Abuse:   https://www.justice.gov/elderjustice     Toxic Faith   https://www.amazon.com/dp/0877888256/ref=cm_sw_r_sms_c_api_i_yHyzEbTHV6EKN     Sexual Abuse Recovery: The Wounded Heart: Hope for Adult Victims of Childhood Sexual Abuse

Susette and Brandon discuss what qualifies as emotional abuse and what does not. Although it is difficult to identify emotional abuse, they outline language and tools to help us be aware of the possible unhealthy power dynamics of relationships.  "Emotional abuse is an attempt to control, in just the same way that physical abuse is an attempt to control another person. The only difference is that the emotional abuser does not use physical hitting, kicking, pinching, grabbing, pushing, or other physical forms of harm. Rather the perpetrator of emotional abuse uses emotion as his or her weapon of choice.” - (See the article attached from Psychology Today) Gaslighting: a form of psychological manipulation. Codependent relationships and lack of differentiation in relationship can be a cause of emotional abuse Pervasive Behaviors are good indicators of the presence of emotional abuse. The heightened sensitivity non-reciprocal relationships have to covert abuse. Emotional Abuse by Andrea Matthews of Psychology Today <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/emotional-abuse" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/emotional-abuse</a> Silently Seduced: When Parents Make their Children Partners - Understanding Covert Incest by Kenneth M. Adams Ph.D. RESOURCES Domestic Violence Hotline: <a href="https://www.thehotline.org/" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank"> https://www.thehotline.org</a>   Child Abuse Reporting  <a href="https://www.childwelfare.gov/organizations/?CWIGFunctionsaction=rols:main.dspList&amp;rolType=Custom&amp;RS_ID=%205" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank"> https://www.childwelfare.gov/organizations/?CWIGFunctionsaction=rols:main.dspList&amp;rolType=Custom&amp;RS_ID=%205</a>   Elder Abuse: <a href="https://www.justice.gov/elderjustice" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank"> https://www.justice.gov/elderjustice</a>   Toxic Faith <a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/0877888256/ref=cm_sw_r_sms_c_api_i_yHyzEbTHV6EKN" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank"> https://www.amazon.com/dp/0877888256/ref=cm_sw_r_sms_c_api_i_yHyzEbTHV6EKN</a>   Sexual Abuse Recovery: The Wounded Heart: Hope for Adult Victims of Childhood Sexual Abuse

65 | Emotional Abuse | Mental Health and the Church

A therapist and a pastor discuss Jesus, psychology and spiritual formation.   Susette Magana, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Brandon Cook, Pastor of Long Beach Christian Fellowship Church, discuss their unique perspectives on how we grow, change, and heal.  What you get:  a new perspective on relationships, childhood experiences, culture, and ways that prayer, scripture, and community can change us, and help us to experience freedom in our lives.

Each time I listen I have to think on it for daysss the hosts do an amazing job explaining thought provoking ideas.  I love every episode I listen too!

I 👏 LOVE 👏 THIS 👏 PODCAST 👏👏

It’s great to have a podcast that combines the subjects of Christianity and psychology. What a concept! I happen to know your producer Lena personally and commend you for bringing her onboard. Talent simply oozes from her. Congratulations on Season 3. Looking forward to listening to each one!

Wonderful!

The Desire Line

It's an Enneagram Party! Part Two!

50| Enneagram Party: Types 1, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 9 | Personality XI

Personality reigns supreme. This week we're diving in to The Enneagram with friend-of-the-podcast, Bryan Rouanzoin. With ancient roots that transformed into a further exploration and understanding in the 20th century, The Enneagram taps into a deeper sense of human personality and archetype within all of us. We talk the nine types and how they divide into three separate centers existing within our own bodies. All of this with the hope that you, the listener, will consider it a helpful invitation to know thyself.  Bryan Rouanzion is the Pastor of Teaching and Formation at Canopy Church in Costa Mesa, California.

Personality reigns supreme. This week we're diving in to The Enneagram with friend-of-the-podcast, Bryan Rouanzoin. With ancient roots that transformed into a further exploration and understanding in the 20th century, The Enneagram taps into a deeper sense of human personality and archetype within all of us. We talk the nine types and how they divide into three separate centers existing within our own bodies. All of this with the hope that you, the listener, will consider it a helpful invitation to know thyself. Bryan Rouanzion is the Pastor of Teaching and Formation at Canopy Church in Costa Mesa, California.

45 | Enneagram: Body, Heart & Mind Triads |  Personality V

It’s season two, and we’re diving straight in. In this episode we cover the basics of Attachment Theory. How does the understanding of our own attachments (and the attachments of those around us) allow us to navigate our physical and spiritual relationships? Attachment Theory: a set of concepts that explain the emergence of an emotional bond between an infant and primary caregiver and the way in which this bond affects the child’s behavioral and emotional development into adulthood. “The way we do anything is the way we do everything”  - Martha Beck More reading on Secure vs Insecure attachment: here ‘Molecular Man’ Conan O'Brien Sketch: here Romanian Orphans Further reading: here  Maslow’s Hierarchy Of Needs: Maslow's hierarchy of needs is a description of the needs that motivate human behavior. In 1943, Abraham Maslow proposed five different kinds of human needs, beginning with the most basic: survival. Physiological needs, such as food and shelter, are followed by needs related to safety. Next, there are needs of love and belonging. Fourth, humans have needs of esteem, such as the need for being respected. The final need in the hierarchy is the need for self-actualization (fulfilling one's potential). The hierarchy suggests that basic needs must be met prior to less basic needs; for example, a starving person will seek food before self-actualization  Further reading on Kegan’s Constructive Developmental Theory Further reading on the psychologist; John Bowlby: here  Emotionally Healthy Spirituality - Book This Cultural Moment - Podcast  Further reading on Freudian Theory: here The Strange Situation, further reading Daniel Tiger: Grown-Ups Come Back (Daniel Tiger School Of Parenting) How We Love - Book  Changes That Heal - Henry Cloud

It’s season two, and we’re diving straight in. In this episode we cover the basics of Attachment Theory. How does the understanding of our own attachments (and the attachments of those around us) allow us to navigate our physical and spiritual relationships? Attachment Theory: a set of concepts that explain the emergence of an emotional bond between an infant and primary caregiver and the way in which this bond affects the child’s behavioral and emotional development into adulthood. “The way we do anything is the way we do everything”  - Martha Beck More reading on Secure vs Insecure attachment: <a href="http://www.bbbgeorgia.org/attachSecure.php" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a> ‘Molecular Man’ Conan O'Brien Sketch: <a href="http://dai.ly/xgovk1" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a> Romanian Orphans Further reading: <a href="http://www.bbc.com/news/health-39055704" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a> Maslow’s Hierarchy Of Needs: Maslow's hierarchy of needs is a description of the needs that motivate human behavior. In 1943, Abraham Maslow proposed five different kinds of human needs, beginning with the most basic: survival. Physiological needs, such as food and shelter, are followed by needs related to safety. Next, there are needs of love and belonging. Fourth, humans have needs of esteem, such as the need for being respected. The final need in the hierarchy is the need for self-actualization (fulfilling one's potential). The hierarchy suggests that basic needs must be met prior to less basic needs; for example, a starving person will seek food before self-actualization <a href="https://www.slideshare.net/JessicaTraylor/kegan-constructive-developmental-theory" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> Further reading on Kegan’s Constructive Developmental Theory</a> Further reading on the psychologist; John Bowlby: <a href="https://www.simplypsychology.org/bowlby.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a> <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Emotionally-Healthy-Spirituality-Unleash-Revolution/dp/0849946425" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> Emotionally Healthy Spirituality - Book</a> <a href="https://thisculturalmoment.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">This Cultural Moment - Podcast</a> Further reading on Freudian Theory: <a href="https://www.simplypsychology.org/Sigmund-Freud.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a> <a href="https://www.simplypsychology.org/mary-ainsworth.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">The Strange Situation, further reading</a> <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iVcFOUYIvWs" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Daniel Tiger: Grown-Ups Come Back</a> (Daniel Tiger School Of Parenting) <a href="https://howwelove.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">How We Love - Book</a> <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Changes-That-Heal-Henry-Cloud/dp/0310606314" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> Changes That Heal - Henry Cloud</a>

25| Family + Adult Relationships | Attachment I 

Bryan's back...alright! This week we're diving into further discussion on two of the three intelligence centers covered in the previous episode. If you are not caught up, we highly suggest you give episode 45 a listen. If you are bummed we didn't cover your enneagram number in this episode, have no fear, we will be continuing our conversation in the following ep. So keep your eyes peeled!  Bryan Rouanzion is the Pastor of Teaching and Formation at Canopy Church in Costa Mesa, California.

Bryan's back...alright! This week we're diving into further discussion on two of the three intelligence centers covered in the previous episode. If you are not caught up, we highly suggest you give episode 45 a listen. If you are bummed we didn't cover your enneagram number in this episode, have no fear, we will be continuing our conversation in the following ep. So keep your eyes peeled! Bryan Rouanzion is the Pastor of Teaching and Formation at Canopy Church in Costa Mesa, California.

46 | Enneagram Numbers 8 - 4 | Personality VI

In this episode we get to look back at one of our most popular episodes on spiritual development.  Every faith journey is different, but are there discernible patterns that are common among us? Law was good, but it could never transform It was good, it taught you that we live in a moral universe, you weren’t designed to live under a baby-sitter for ever, meant to mature and live by the Spirit It’s openness to God that transforms, Jesus is the path to openness in God, in his death, he demonstrated his absolute trust—his absolute openness—to God and to resurrection life in God There often will come a point where you have to get off the paved path. Often times it’s suffering or some sort of inner conflict, or a product of the Christian culture that we're living in today. “If you ask anybody, ‘What’s the activity that you had that made you who you are?’ no one says, ‘You know I had a really great vacation in Hawaii.’ No one says that. They say, ‘I had a period of struggle. I lost a loved one. I was in the Army. And that period of struggle or that period of toughness made me who I am.’” This idea of the dark night, some period where your faith seems inadequate or your suffering makes you ask, “Where is God?” is one of the key characteristics in the pattern of spiritual development Every journey is different, but are there discernible patterns to the spiritual journey? This can help us normalize our journey! We are not alone. “It hurts to become real” -The Velveteen Rabbit SCRIPTURE This development is actually normalized in Scripture We are all being changed (2 Corinthians 3:18) What matters is becoming new creation So all of us who have had that veil removed can see and reflect the glory of the Lord. And the Lord—who is the Spirit—makes us more and more like him as we are changed into his glorious image. Law-NT Paul: law is a baby-sitter (Galatians 3:24) Law was good, but it could never transform It was good, it taught you that we live in a moral universe, you weren’t designed to live under a baby-sitter for ever, meant to mature and live by the Spirit It’s openness to God that transforms, Jesus is the path to openness in God, in his death, he demonstrated his absolute trust—his absolute openness—to God and to resurrection life in God Development in the nation of Israel Jesus: Kingdom of Heaven: Mustard seed NT Wright: every generation must wrestle with… “We must stop giving 16th century answers…” PSYCHOLOGY James Fowler Stage of Faith M. Scott Peck The Road Less Traveled http://www.whale.to/b/peck1.html  -Stage I Chaotic, Antisocial Antisocial in that it’s all “me” (perhaps Hedonistic) -Stage II Formal, Institutional, Fundamental Boundaries good Dark side: very either-or, all-or-nothing. Have difficulty explaining, or comforting when experiencing suffering. -Stage III Skeptic, Individual, Questioner Life is more gray than previously acknowledged -Stage IV Mystic, Communal Open to God Notice, Every pattern or theory of development we’re going to talk about today ends in some sort of “union” It's possible, or probable to be in more than one at once. Not linear. We may be in both or all at different times. Exercise:  In the midst of a painful thought, relationship or memory, asking God: "How can you be so good?"

In this episode we get to look back at one of our most popular episodes on spiritual development.  Every faith journey is different, but are there discernible patterns that are common among us? Law was good, but it could never transform It was good, it taught you that we live in a moral universe, you weren’t designed to live under a baby-sitter for ever, meant to mature and live by the Spirit It’s openness to God that transforms, Jesus is the path to openness in God, in his death, he demonstrated his absolute trust—his absolute openness—to God and to resurrection life in God There often will come a point where you have to get off the paved path. Often times it’s suffering or some sort of inner conflict, or a product of the Christian culture that we're living in today. “If you ask anybody, ‘What’s the activity that you had that made you who you are?’ no one says, ‘You know I had a really great vacation in Hawaii.’ No one says that. They say, ‘I had a period of struggle. I lost a loved one. I was in the Army. And that period of struggle or that period of toughness made me who I am.’” This idea of the dark night, some period where your faith seems inadequate or your suffering makes you ask, “Where is God?” is one of the key characteristics in the pattern of spiritual development Every journey is different, but are there discernible patterns to the spiritual journey? This can help us normalize our journey! We are not alone. “It hurts to become real” -The Velveteen Rabbit SCRIPTURE This development is actually normalized in Scripture We are all being changed (2 Corinthians 3:18) What matters is becoming new creation So all of us who have had that veil removed can see and reflect the glory of the Lord. And the Lord—who is the Spirit—makes us more and more like him as we are changed into his glorious image. Law-NT Paul: law is a baby-sitter (Galatians 3:24) Law was good, but it could never transform It was good, it taught you that we live in a moral universe, you weren’t designed to live under a baby-sitter for ever, meant to mature and live by the Spirit It’s openness to God that transforms, Jesus is the path to openness in God, in his death, he demonstrated his absolute trust—his absolute openness—to God and to resurrection life in God Development in the nation of Israel Jesus: Kingdom of Heaven: Mustard seed NT Wright: every generation must wrestle with… “We must stop giving 16th century answers…” PSYCHOLOGY James Fowler Stage of Faith M. Scott Peck The Road Less Traveled <a href="http://www.whale.to/b/peck1.html" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">http://www.whale.to/b/peck1.html</a> -Stage I Chaotic, Antisocial Antisocial in that it’s all “me” (perhaps Hedonistic) -Stage II Formal, Institutional, Fundamental Boundaries good Dark side: very either-or, all-or-nothing. Have difficulty explaining, or comforting when experiencing suffering. -Stage III Skeptic, Individual, Questioner Life is more gray than previously acknowledged -Stage IV Mystic, Communal Open to God Notice, Every pattern or theory of development we’re going to talk about today ends in some sort of “union” It's possible, or probable to be in more than one at once. Not linear. We may be in both or all at different times. Exercise:  In the midst of a painful thought, relationship or memory, asking God: "How can you be so good?"

(The Favorites) 15| Four Stages Of Spiritual Growth

The Desire Line Podcast presents a message given by our very own Brandon Cook. We will dive into the Lord's prayer and it's implications on our spiritual and prayer practices. Matthew 6:9-13 (NIV) 9 “This, then, is how you should pray: “‘Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, 10 your kingdom come, your will be done,     on earth as it is in heaven. 11 Give us today our daily bread. 12 And forgive us our debts,     as we also have forgiven our debtors. 13 And lead us not into temptation,     but deliver us from the evil one.'   Follow us on Twitter: @my desireline &amp; @brandonalancook &amp; @susettemtherapy On instagram: @desire.line.podcast @susette.magana.therapy &amp; @brandonalancook Support us on Patreon on “The Desire Line Podcast”

The Desire Line Podcast presents a message given by our very own Brandon Cook. We will dive into the Lord's prayer and it's implications on our spiritual and prayer practices. Matthew 6:9-13 (NIV) 9 “This, then, is how you should pray: “‘Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, 10 your kingdom come, your will be done,     on earth as it is in heaven. 11 Give us today our daily bread. 12 And forgive us our debts,     as we also have forgiven our debtors. 13 And lead us not into temptation,     but deliver us from the evil one.' Follow us on Twitter: @my desireline &amp; @brandonalancook &amp; @susettemtherapy On instagram: @desire.line.podcast @susette.magana.therapy &amp; @brandonalancook Support us on Patreon on “The Desire Line Podcast”

58 | Refuse To Be Offended: A Prayer Practice

Brandon and Susette continue the discussion of the long lasting myth that affects how we view mental health, especially in relation to faith; that the body doesn’t matter. Having a dualistic mindset on this topic brings us closer to the desireline. The roles of neuroscience, contemplative practice and the balance of opposites are introduced. Although it is easier to separate body and mind, and pretend to live in a black and white world God created us as integrated beings and invites everyone to in the truth and mystery of that.   Follow us on Twitter: @my desireline &amp; @brandonalancook &amp; @susettemtherapy   On instagram: @desire.line.podcast @susette.magana.therapy &amp; @brandonalancook   Support us on Patreon on “The Desire Line Podcast”

Brandon and Susette continue the discussion of the long lasting myth that affects how we view mental health, especially in relation to faith; that the body doesn’t matter. Having a dualistic mindset on this topic brings us closer to the desireline. The roles of neuroscience, contemplative practice and the balance of opposites are introduced. Although it is easier to separate body and mind, and pretend to live in a black and white world God created us as integrated beings and invites everyone to in the truth and mystery of that. Follow us on Twitter: @my desireline &amp; @brandonalancook &amp; @susettemtherapy On instagram: @desire.line.podcast @susette.magana.therapy &amp; @brandonalancook Support us on Patreon on “The Desire Line Podcast”

57 | The Body Matters

Don't forget to subscribe, rate &amp; review us on iTunes!   It REALLY helps us to grow.  Facebook:  www.facebook.com/groups/desirelinepodcast Instagram: @susette.magana.therapy and @brandonalancook Twitter: @mydesireline, @susettemtherapy and @brandonalancook   Today's episode will focus on the insecure attachment styles that are part of our relationships in adulthood.  Basically--how do we deal with feelings of rejection, vulnerability and deep needs?  Our material comes from the book "How We Love," by Milan &amp; Kay Yerkovich.    "Internal Working Model" "A cognitive framework comprising mental representations for understanding the world, self, and others. A person’s interaction with others is guided by memories and expectations from their internal model which influence and help evaluate their contact with others." Secure Attachment Definition: From "How We Love" by Milan &amp; Kay Yerkovich “Secure Connectors..., are comfortable with reciprocity; balanced giving and receiving in relationships.They can describe strengths and weakness in themselves and others without idealizing or devaluing. Skilled at self-reflection, Secure Connectors are able to clearly and easily communicate their feelings and needs.“ (www.howwelove.com) Check out Ephesians 4 NLT... do you see the attachment theory language in this passage? https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Ephesians+4&amp;version=NLT Insecure Attachment Types from "How We Love" by Milan &amp; Kay Yerkovich www.howwelove.com Avoider: Coming from often affection-less homes that value independence and self-reliance, the Avoider grows up learning to just take care of themselves. The catch? They restrict their feelings and needs so they can deal with the anxiety of having little to no comfort and nurturing from their parents. -I am usually “fine,” and when something bad happens I try to get over it quickly. -In my family growing up, we rarely discussed personal concerns. -I’m usually happiest when others are happy and don’t want a lot from me. -I don’t really think about my own feelings and needs very often. -I don’t really miss my spouse or family if I’m away from them. -I need my space. Pleaser Pleasers usually grow up in a home with an overly protective or angry critical parent. Pleaser children do everything they can to “be good” and avoid troubling their reactive parent. These kids don’t get comfort: rather, they spend their energy comforting or appeasing their troublesome parent. As adults, Pleasers tend to continually monitor the moods of others around them to keep everyone happy. Eventually, they can become resentful and break down or leave the relationship. For most (or all) of my childhood I could have been described as “the good kid.” I feel very upset if someone is upset or annoyed with me so I am good at “keeping peace.” I seek connection and avoid rejection by anticipating and meeting others’ needs. Conflict makes me uneasy and I prefer to deal with disagreement by giving in or making up for it and quickly and moving on. I have difficulty confronting or saying no and sometimes it makes me less than truthful. VACILLATORS Growing up with an unpredictable parent, Vacillators’ needs aren’t top priority. Without consistent parental affection, they develop feelings of abandonment. By the time the parent feels like giving again, their child is tired of waiting and too angry to receive. As adults, Vacillators are on a quest to find the consistent love they never received as children. They idealize new relationships, but then get tired of it once life (and the relationship) gets less than perfect. -I feel like no one has really understood what I need. -I experience internal conflict and a high level of emotional stress in relationships. -At times, I find myself picking a fight and I’m not sure why. -I’ve always been especially sensitive and perceptive and can tell when others are pulling away from me. -Others have said they feel like they’re walking on eggshells around me. CONTROLLERS Controllers need control to keep the vulnerable, negative feelings that they experienced in childhood from surfacing in their adult lives. Having control means having protection from the feelings of fear, humiliation and helplessness. Anger is the one emotion that is not vulnerable, so intimidation and anger are often used to keep control. Control may be highly rigid or more sporadic and unpredictable, but Controllers rarely realize the real reason they need to be in charge. -No one protected me from harm when I was growing up, so I had to get tough and take care of myself. -Life has taught me to either “be in control” or “be controlled.” -People would probably describe me as intimidating. -I prefer to solve problems on my own. -I need things to be done a certain way or I get angry. -I have few feelings about my childhood except I’m glad it’s over because I wouldn’t go back. VICTIM Kids survive a chaotic home environment by trying to “stay under the radar”, making themselves as invisible as possible. They’ll hide and appease, learning how to escape into their own heads to lessen the pain from their angry, violent, chaotic parents. Victims lack a sense of self-worth or personhood and are often anxious and depressed. Rather than engage, they’ll resort to just “going through the motions” in order to get by. Victims may emulate their childhood home environment by pursuing a relationship with a Controller. When children are involved in such a relationship, the Victim may even inflict their suppressed anger on their children whenever the Controller is not present. -Growing up, I experienced a great deal of intense anger and stress from a parent or parents. -I’m used to chaos and calm makes me anxious because something bad is always just around the corner. -If I spoke up more and had stronger opinions, my spouse (or other significant relationships) would be even angrier. -I feel like I’m just “going through the motions” and I’m tired and out of energy.

Don't forget to subscribe, rate &amp; review us on iTunes!   It REALLY helps us to grow.  Facebook:  <a href="http://www.facebook.com/groups/desirelinepodcast" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.facebook.com/groups/desirelinepodcast</a> Instagram: @susette.magana.therapy and @brandonalancook Twitter: @mydesireline, @susettemtherapy and @brandonalancook Today's episode will focus on the insecure attachment styles that are part of our relationships in adulthood.  Basically--how do we deal with feelings of rejection, vulnerability and deep needs?  Our material comes from the book "How We Love," by Milan &amp; Kay Yerkovich.   "Internal Working Model" "A cognitive framework comprising mental representations for understanding the world, self, and others. A person’s interaction with others is guided by memories and expectations from their internal model which influence and help evaluate their contact with others." Secure Attachment Definition: From "How We Love" by Milan &amp; Kay Yerkovich “Secure Connectors..., are comfortable with reciprocity; balanced giving and receiving in relationships.They can describe strengths and weakness in themselves and others without idealizing or devaluing. Skilled at self-reflection, Secure Connectors are able to clearly and easily communicate their feelings and needs.“ (<a href="http://www.howwelove.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.howwelove.com</a>) Check out Ephesians 4 NLT... do you see the attachment theory language in this passage? <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Ephesians+4&amp;version=NLT" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Ephesians+4&amp;version=NLT</a> Insecure Attachment Types from "How We Love" by Milan &amp; Kay Yerkovich <a href="http://www.howwelove.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.howwelove.com</a> Avoider: Coming from often affection-less homes that value independence and self-reliance, the Avoider grows up learning to just take care of themselves. The catch? They restrict their feelings and needs so they can deal with the anxiety of having little to no comfort and nurturing from their parents. -I am usually “fine,” and when something bad happens I try to get over it quickly. -In my family growing up, we rarely discussed personal concerns. -I’m usually happiest when others are happy and don’t want a lot from me. -I don’t really think about my own feelings and needs very often. -I don’t really miss my spouse or family if I’m away from them. -I need my space. Pleaser Pleasers usually grow up in a home with an overly protective or angry critical parent. Pleaser children do everything they can to “be good” and avoid troubling their reactive parent. These kids don’t get comfort: rather, they spend their energy comforting or appeasing their troublesome parent. As adults, Pleasers tend to continually monitor the moods of others around them to keep everyone happy. Eventually, they can become resentful and break down or leave the relationship. For most (or all) of my childhood I could have been described as “the good kid.” I feel very upset if someone is upset or annoyed with me so I am good at “keeping peace.” I seek connection and avoid rejection by anticipating and meeting others’ needs. Conflict makes me uneasy and I prefer to deal with disagreement by giving in or making up for it and quickly and moving on. I have difficulty confronting or saying no and sometimes it makes me less than truthful. VACILLATORS Growing up with an unpredictable parent, Vacillators’ needs aren’t top priority. Without consistent parental affection, they develop feelings of abandonment. By the time the parent feels like giving again, their child is tired of waiting and too angry to receive. As adults, Vacillators are on a quest to find the consistent love they never received as children. They idealize new relationships, but then get tired of it once life (and the relationship) gets less than perfect. -I feel like no one has really understood what I need. -I experience internal conflict and a high level of emotional stress in relationships. -At times, I find myself picking a fight and I’m not sure why. -I’ve always been especially sensitive and perceptive and can tell when others are pulling away from me. -Others have said they feel like they’re walking on eggshells around me. CONTROLLERS Controllers need control to keep the vulnerable, negative feelings that they experienced in childhood from surfacing in their adult lives. Having control means having protection from the feelings of fear, humiliation and helplessness. Anger is the one emotion that is not vulnerable, so intimidation and anger are often used to keep control. Control may be highly rigid or more sporadic and unpredictable, but Controllers rarely realize the real reason they need to be in charge. -No one protected me from harm when I was growing up, so I had to get tough and take care of myself. -Life has taught me to either “be in control” or “be controlled.” -People would probably describe me as intimidating. -I prefer to solve problems on my own. -I need things to be done a certain way or I get angry. -I have few feelings about my childhood except I’m glad it’s over because I wouldn’t go back. VICTIM Kids survive a chaotic home environment by trying to “stay under the radar”, making themselves as invisible as possible. They’ll hide and appease, learning how to escape into their own heads to lessen the pain from their angry, violent, chaotic parents. Victims lack a sense of self-worth or personhood and are often anxious and depressed. Rather than engage, they’ll resort to just “going through the motions” in order to get by. Victims may emulate their childhood home environment by pursuing a relationship with a Controller. When children are involved in such a relationship, the Victim may even inflict their suppressed anger on their children whenever the Controller is not present. -Growing up, I experienced a great deal of intense anger and stress from a parent or parents. -I’m used to chaos and calm makes me anxious because something bad is always just around the corner. -If I spoke up more and had stronger opinions, my spouse (or other significant relationships) would be even angrier. -I feel like I’m just “going through the motions” and I’m tired and out of energy.

28| Insecure: Avoid, Please, Vacillate, Control, Victimize | Attachment IV

Join us on our Facebook Group: The Desire Line Podcast Community.  Follow us on Twitter: @mydesireline &amp; @brandonalancook &amp; @susettemtherapy On Instagram: @susette.magana.therapy &amp; @brandonalancook Support us on Patreon on "The Desire Line Podcast."   In this episode, we begin our arc on Personality Theories, and how they inform who we are.  These next few episodes will cover the Myers-Briggs, the Enneagram, and other theories (like the 4 Temperaments).  We'll look at what they have in common, how they differ, and how they teach us about how we experience the world &amp; make decisions in life.   We talk "subjective vs. objective" personality theories, meaning, they're self-assessed.  Personality assessments are about discovering meaning in your relationships more than finding concrete facts about yourself.  “The unexamined life is not worth living” - Socrates Imago Dei ("image of God") ("image of God"): A theological term, applied uniquely to humans, which denotes the symbolical relation between God and humanity. ... To say that humans are in the image of God is to recognize the special qualities of human nature which allow God to be made manifest in humans. Flesh vs. Spirit: For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do. Galatians 5:17 False self vs True self: You, however, are not in the realm of the flesh but are in the realm of the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God lives in you. And if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, they do not belong to Christ.  Romans 8:9 “Everyone of us is shadowed by an illusory person: a false self..We are not very good at recognizing illusions, least of all the ones we cherish about ourselves.” -Thomas Merton Henri Nouwen was a Dutch Catholic priest, professor, writer and theologian. His interests were rooted primarily in psychology, pastoral ministry, spirituality, social justice and community. “Joy is the most vulnerable emotion” - Brene Brown Brene Brown is a research professor at the University of Houston. She has spent the past two decades studying courage, vulnerability, shame, and empathy and is the author of five  #1 New York Times bestsellers: The Gifts of Imperfection, Daring Greatly, Rising Strong, Braving the Wilderness, and her latest book, Dare to Lead, which is the culmination of a seven-year study on courage and leadership. Matthew 23:26 You blind Pharisee! First wash the inside of the cup and the dish, and then the outside will become clean, too. "Frankly, there isn't anyone you couldn't learn to love once you've heard their story” -Fred Rogers

Join us on our Facebook Group: The Desire Line Podcast Community.  Follow us on Twitter: @mydesireline &amp; @brandonalancook &amp; @susettemtherapy On Instagram: @susette.magana.therapy &amp; @brandonalancook Support us on Patreon on "The Desire Line Podcast." In this episode, we begin our arc on Personality Theories, and how they inform who we are.  These next few episodes will cover the Myers-Briggs, the Enneagram, and other theories (like the 4 Temperaments).  We'll look at what they have in common, how they differ, and how they teach us about how we experience the world &amp; make decisions in life.   We talk "subjective vs. objective" personality theories, meaning, they're self-assessed.  Personality assessments are about discovering meaning in your relationships more than finding concrete facts about yourself.  “The unexamined life is not worth living” - Socrates Imago Dei ("image of God") ("image of God"): A theological term, applied uniquely to humans, which denotes the symbolical relation between God and humanity. ... To say that humans are in the image of God is to recognize the special qualities of human nature which allow God to be made manifest in humans. Flesh vs. Spirit: For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do. Galatians 5:17 False self vs True self: You, however, are not in the realm of the flesh but are in the realm of the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God lives in you. And if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, they do not belong to Christ.  Romans 8:9 “Everyone of us is shadowed by an illusory person: a false self..We are not very good at recognizing illusions, least of all the ones we cherish about ourselves.” -Thomas Merton Henri Nouwen was a Dutch <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Catholic_priest" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Catholic priest</a>, professor, writer and theologian. His interests were rooted primarily in psychology, pastoral ministry, spirituality, social justice and community. “Joy is the most vulnerable emotion” - Brene Brown Brene Brown is a research professor at the <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/University_of_Houston" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">University of Houston</a>. She has spent the past two decades studying courage, vulnerability, shame, and empathy and is the author of five <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_New_York_Times_Best_Seller_list" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> #1 New York Times bestsellers</a>: <a href="https://brenebrown.com/books-audio/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">The Gifts of Imperfection</a>, <a href="https://brenebrown.com/books-audio/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Daring Greatly</a>, <a href="https://brenebrown.com/books-audio/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Rising Strong</a>, <a href="https://brenebrown.com/books-audio/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Braving the Wilderness</a>, and her latest book, <a href="https://brenebrown.com/books-audio/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Dare to Lead</a>, which is the culmination of a seven-year study on courage and leadership. Matthew 23:26 You blind Pharisee! First wash the inside of the cup and the dish, and then the outside will become clean, too. "Frankly, there isn't anyone you couldn't learn to love once you've heard their story” -Fred Rogers

41| Personality, Temperament & Unique Identity | Personality I 

Every faith journey is different, but are there discernible patterns that are common among us? Law was good, but it could never transform It was good, it taught you that we live in a moral universe, you weren’t designed to live under a baby-sitter for ever, meant to mature and live by the Spirit It’s openness to God that transforms, Jesus is the path to openness in God, in his death, he demonstrated his absolute trust—his absolute openness—to God and to resurrection life in God There often will come a point where you have to get off the paved path. Often times it’s suffering or some sort of inner conflict, or a product of the Christian culture that we're living in today. “If you ask anybody, ‘What’s the activity that you had that made you who you are?’ no one says, ‘You know I had a really great vacation in Hawaii.’ No one says that. They say, ‘I had a period of struggle. I lost a loved one. I was in the Army. And that period of struggle or that period of toughness made me who I am.’” This idea of the dark night, some period where your faith seems inadequate or your suffering makes you ask, “Where is God?” is one of the key characteristics in the pattern of spiritual development Every journey is different, but are there discernible patterns to the spiritual journey? This can help us normalize our journey! We are not alone. “It hurts to become real” -The Velveteen Rabbit SCRIPTURE This development is actually normalized in Scripture We are all being changed (2 Corinthians 3:18) What matters is becoming new creation So all of us who have had that veil removed can see and reflect the glory of the Lord. And the Lord—who is the Spirit—makes us more and more like him as we are changed into his glorious image. Law-NT Paul: law is a baby-sitter (Galatians 3:24) Law was good, but it could never transform It was good, it taught you that we live in a moral universe, you weren’t designed to live under a baby-sitter for ever, meant to mature and live by the Spirit It’s openness to God that transforms, Jesus is the path to openness in God, in his death, he demonstrated his absolute trust—his absolute openness—to God and to resurrection life in God Development in the nation of Israel Jesus: Kingdom of Heaven: Mustard seed NT Wright: every generation must wrestle with… “We must stop giving 16th century answers…” PSYCHOLOGY James Fowler Stage of Faith M. Scott Peck The Road Less Traveled http://www.whale.to/b/peck1.html  -Stage I Chaotic, Antisocial Antisocial in that it’s all “me” (perhaps Hedonistic) -Stage II Formal, Institutional, Fundamental Boundaries good Dark side: very either-or, all-or-nothing. Have difficulty explaining, or comforting when experiencing suffering. -Stage III Skeptic, Individual, Questioner Life is more gray than previously acknowledged -Stage IV Mystic, Communal Open to God Notice, Every pattern or theory of development we’re going to talk about today ends in some sort of “union” It's possible, or probable to be in more than one at once. Not linear. We may be in both or all at different times. Exercise:  In the midst of a painful thought, relationship or memory, asking God: "How can you be so good?"

Every faith journey is different, but are there discernible patterns that are common among us? Law was good, but it could never transform It was good, it taught you that we live in a moral universe, you weren’t designed to live under a baby-sitter for ever, meant to mature and live by the Spirit It’s openness to God that transforms, Jesus is the path to openness in God, in his death, he demonstrated his absolute trust—his absolute openness—to God and to resurrection life in God There often will come a point where you have to get off the paved path. Often times it’s suffering or some sort of inner conflict, or a product of the Christian culture that we're living in today. “If you ask anybody, ‘What’s the activity that you had that made you who you are?’ no one says, ‘You know I had a really great vacation in Hawaii.’ No one says that. They say, ‘I had a period of struggle. I lost a loved one. I was in the Army. And that period of struggle or that period of toughness made me who I am.’” This idea of the dark night, some period where your faith seems inadequate or your suffering makes you ask, “Where is God?” is one of the key characteristics in the pattern of spiritual development Every journey is different, but are there discernible patterns to the spiritual journey? This can help us normalize our journey! We are not alone. “It hurts to become real” -The Velveteen Rabbit SCRIPTURE This development is actually normalized in Scripture We are all being changed (2 Corinthians 3:18) What matters is becoming new creation So all of us who have had that veil removed can see and reflect the glory of the Lord. And the Lord—who is the Spirit—makes us more and more like him as we are changed into his glorious image. Law-NT Paul: law is a baby-sitter (Galatians 3:24) Law was good, but it could never transform It was good, it taught you that we live in a moral universe, you weren’t designed to live under a baby-sitter for ever, meant to mature and live by the Spirit It’s openness to God that transforms, Jesus is the path to openness in God, in his death, he demonstrated his absolute trust—his absolute openness—to God and to resurrection life in God Development in the nation of Israel Jesus: Kingdom of Heaven: Mustard seed NT Wright: every generation must wrestle with… “We must stop giving 16th century answers…” PSYCHOLOGY James Fowler Stage of Faith M. Scott Peck The Road Less Traveled <a href="http://www.whale.to/b/peck1.html" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">http://www.whale.to/b/peck1.html</a> -Stage I Chaotic, Antisocial Antisocial in that it’s all “me” (perhaps Hedonistic) -Stage II Formal, Institutional, Fundamental Boundaries good Dark side: very either-or, all-or-nothing. Have difficulty explaining, or comforting when experiencing suffering. -Stage III Skeptic, Individual, Questioner Life is more gray than previously acknowledged -Stage IV Mystic, Communal Open to God Notice, Every pattern or theory of development we’re going to talk about today ends in some sort of “union” It's possible, or probable to be in more than one at once. Not linear. We may be in both or all at different times. Exercise:  In the midst of a painful thought, relationship or memory, asking God: "How can you be so good?"

15| Four Stages Of Spiritual Growth | Patterns of Spiritual Development I

Brandon and Susette dive deeper into a long lasting myth that affects how we view mental health, especially in relation to faith; the body and mind are separate entities. This is seen in Greco versus Hebraic view of the body and mind. We talk about what healthy integration of both looks like, and the importance of expressing that in a culture where the body is viewed as less than. Join us on our Facebook Group: The Desire Line Podcast Community    Follow us on Twitter: @my desireline &amp; @brandonalancook &amp; @susettemtherapy   On instagram: @desire.line.podcast @susette.magana.therapy &amp; @brandonalancook   Support us on Patreon on “The Desire Line Podcast”

Brandon and Susette dive deeper into a long lasting myth that affects how we view mental health, especially in relation to faith; the body and mind are separate entities. This is seen in Greco versus Hebraic view of the body and mind. We talk about what healthy integration of both looks like, and the importance of expressing that in a culture where the body is viewed as less than. Join us on our Facebook Group: The Desire Line Podcast Community  Follow us on Twitter: @my desireline &amp; @brandonalancook &amp; @susettemtherapy On instagram: @desire.line.podcast @susette.magana.therapy &amp; @brandonalancook Support us on Patreon on “The Desire Line Podcast”

55 | Integration of Body and Mind | Part 1

Myers Briggs

Find us!  We want to connect with you. Instagram: @susette.magana.therapy &amp; @brandonalancook FB: The Desire Line Podcast Community Twitter: @susettemtherapy @brandonalancook @mydesireline Patreon: www.patreon.com/desirelinepodcast ________ In the second episode in our arc on personality, we dive into Personality Theory, taking on the questions that are essential to the human paradigm... How am I different from you? How are you different from me? How do see the world and learn about it? How do we make decisions? Personality theory, as we understand it in pop culture, is about unique gifts &amp; individuality and how we interface with the world. In other words: How I’m different from you, and how we can live in relationship with these differences.  Maximizing our strengths, appreciating our differences. We can choose to not live in judgment of our weaknesses. This speaks beautifully to the Desire Line path -- sometimes following the paved path doesn’t bring the results it promises (union with God), because we’re made in a way that doesn’t fit the model.  We have to discover our God-given way of walking. All of these and more in this episode. We hope you stay tuned! Heres some trusted MB links:    https://www.myersbriggs.org/my-mbti-personality-type/mbti-basics/home.htm?bhcp=1 https://keirsey.com/temperament-overview/ Click here for the Brene Brown Anatomy of Trust video

Find us!  We want to connect with you. Instagram: @susette.magana.therapy &amp; @brandonalancook FB: The Desire Line Podcast Community Twitter: @susettemtherapy @brandonalancook @mydesireline Patreon: <a href="http://www.patreon.com/desirelinepodcast" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.patreon.com/desirelinepodcast</a> ________ In the second episode in our arc on personality, we dive into Personality Theory, taking on the questions that are essential to the human paradigm... How am I different from you? How are you different from me? How do see the world and learn about it? How do we make decisions? Personality theory, as we understand it in pop culture, is about unique gifts &amp; individuality and how we interface with the world. In other words: How I’m different from you, and how we can live in relationship with these differences.  Maximizing our strengths, appreciating our differences. We can choose to not live in judgment of our weaknesses. This speaks beautifully to the Desire Line path -- sometimes following the paved path doesn’t bring the results it promises (union with God), because we’re made in a way that doesn’t fit the model.  We have to discover our God-given way of walking. All of these and more in this episode. We hope you stay tuned! Heres some trusted MB links:   <a href="https://www.myersbriggs.org/my-mbti-personality-type/mbti-basics/home.htm?bhcp=1" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> https://www.myersbriggs.org/my-mbti-personality-type/mbti-basics/home.htm?bhcp=1</a> <a href="https://keirsey.com/temperament-overview/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://keirsey.com/temperament-overview/</a> Click <a href="%20https:/brenebrown.com/videos/anatomy-trust-video/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a> for the Brene Brown Anatomy of Trust video

42| Understanding Our Strengths | Myers Briggs | Personality II

It's the final (countdown!) episode in our arc on Attachment Theory. We have all this theory, now what do we do with it? In this episode we cover the practical application of attachment theory and what it means to be healthily and unhealthily attached in 9 different categories:   Body Attitudes Feeling Behavior Thoughts Abilities Desires Choices Limits  Click  here to read along with us.  As we read through, notice which ones strike you or speak to you. These may be areas where differentiation work can happen in your own life.  Charles Swindoll quote on attitude: The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than success, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company … a church … a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past… we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude… I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you, we are in charge of our attitudes.  James 1 Humbly Grateful or Grumbly Hateful (re: Brandon's "What's Your Attitude") Next, we will take you through the practical application for responding to the need for Differentiation and Healthy Attachment:  Awareness Self-regulation Responding with courage  Click  here to read more on Differentiation. Click  here to read more on Healthy Attachment. Self Regulation (def.) : Behavioral Self-Regulation: the ability to act in your long-term best interest, consistent with your deepest values Emotional Self-Regulation: the ability to respond to the ongoing demands of experience with the range of emotions in a manner that is socially tolerable and sufficiently flexible to permit spontaneous reactions as well as the ability to delay spontaneous reactions as needed Click  here to read through the full serenity prayer.  Please submit any question you have through https://www.desirelinepodcast.com/connect Join our facebook group: Desire Line Podcast Community to connect to us and other listeners. Website: www.desirelinepodcast.com Twitter: @mydesireline and @brandonalancook Instagram: @susette.magana.therapy and @brandonalancook

It's the final (countdown!) episode in our arc on Attachment Theory. We have all this theory, now what do we do with it? In this episode we cover the practical application of attachment theory and what it means to be healthily and unhealthily attached in 9 different categories:  <ul> <li>Body</li> <li>Attitudes</li> <li>Feeling</li> <li>Behavior</li> <li>Thoughts</li> <li>Abilities</li> <li>Desires</li> <li>Choices</li> <li>Limits</li> </ul> Click <a href="https://files.acrobat.com/a/preview/c68b3590-e10a-4deb-b947-59dc45422136" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> here</a> to read along with us.  As we read through, notice which ones strike you or speak to you. These may be areas where differentiation work can happen in your own life.  Charles Swindoll quote on attitude: The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than success, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company … a church … a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past… we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude… I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you, we are in charge of our attitudes. <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=James+1&amp;version=NIV" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> James 1</a> <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hkfWWw0HMVc" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Humbly Grateful or Grumbly Hateful</a> (re: Brandon's "What's Your Attitude") Next, we will take you through the practical application for responding to the need for Differentiation and Healthy Attachment: <ul> <li>Awareness</li> <li>Self-regulation</li> <li>Responding with courage</li> </ul> Click <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/compassion-matters/200911/differentiation-living-life-your-own-terms" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> here</a> to read more on Differentiation. Click <a href="https://www.attachmenttraumanetwork.org/understanding-attachment/healthy-attachment/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> here</a> to read more on Healthy Attachment. Self Regulation (def.) : Behavioral Self-Regulation: the ability to act in your long-term best interest, consistent with your deepest values Emotional Self-Regulation: the ability to respond to the ongoing demands of experience with the range of emotions in a manner that is socially tolerable and sufficiently flexible to permit spontaneous reactions as well as the ability to delay spontaneous reactions as needed Click <a href="http://www.beliefnet.com/prayers/protestant/addiction/serenity-prayer.aspx" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> here</a> to read through the full serenity prayer.  Please submit any question you have through <a href="https://www.desirelinepodcast.com/connect" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.desirelinepodcast.com/connect</a> Join our facebook group: Desire Line Podcast Community to connect to us and other listeners. Website: <a href="http://www.desirelinepodcast.com/" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank">www.desirelinepodcast.com</a> Twitter: @mydesireline and @brandonalancook Instagram: @susette.magana.therapy and @brandonalancook

30 | Keeping Healthy Boundaries | Attachment Theory VI

Bryan Rouanzoin

Our first interview! Bryan Rouanzoin's work integrating different spiritual development stages inspired our 7-episode conversation. We're excited to have Bryan, to communicate his own studies and experience in this Spiritual Development work. See all these notes of theories &amp; quotes that Bryan knows off the top of his head! Bryan lives in Costa Mesa, CA with his wife Jenni, and two kids: Evie and Jude. He is a pastor on staff at Vanguard University and continues to serve alongside local church communities in teaching and worship capacities and has a unique interest in helping people explore their own developmental journey as it relates to spirituality and growth. He is the co-founder of the The Way at Vanguard. Check out thewayofjesus.org to find out more about these spiritual practices. He has recently released on iTunes: "Made New" from the label "From the Vine". and Bryan's most recent music release is a collaborative project "Seek &amp; Behold" co-written with Debrianna Cabitac. Here's a link: https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/made-new/993275143 Seek &amp; Behold by Debrianna Cabitac https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/seek-behold/1305314140 https://open.spotify.com/album/1jejWJcOilhDiR1lbn9FVo?si=9WTv81QBTPOOR-OhgcOrPg Erikson's Developmental Stages: https://www.simplypsychology.org/Erik-Erikson.html False Self/Shadow self-- the idea that we struggle through our own deficits and flaws, firstly to cover them up. the despariy between our core essense We're so hell bent on holding onto this image of ourselves, that we, in the process, cover up and push away from our core essense that's vulnerable, open and surrender-oriented. Phil 2:6-11 In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature[a] God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature[b] of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death— even death on a cross! Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue acknowledge that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father. Matthew 5-7, Sermon of the Mount. Cynthia Bourgeault The spiritual journey, wherever it comes from, is always the same. It always is surrender, attention and compassion. "That first initial stage of disorientation (in spiritual development), the dark night of the soul, is a way for you to realize that what you've been pursing or finding satisfaction in is the FORM of worship with God, but not the essence, which is God Himself." Bryan R. Jesus is the WAY before He becomes truth, and then He becomes life. "The practice of pilgrimage is a going forth and a returning home that enlarge the meaning of both the self and home." Sharon Daloz Parks Faith is living out the reality of "God doesn't give us a list of propositions of who He is, He gives us a relationship and a character of faith that we see in the Old Testament. Who is kind, who is good. Then we meet the face of Jesus, the full expression of God." Bryan R. Stages of Faith: The Psychology of Human Development and the Quest for Meaning By James W. Fowler Kohlberg's Stages of Moral Development https://www.psychologynoteshq.com/kohlbergstheory/

Our first interview! Bryan Rouanzoin's work integrating different spiritual development stages inspired our 7-episode conversation. We're excited to have Bryan, to communicate his own studies and experience in this Spiritual Development work. See all these notes of theories &amp; quotes that Bryan knows off the top of his head! Bryan lives in Costa Mesa, CA with his wife Jenni, and two kids: Evie and Jude. He is a pastor on staff at Vanguard University and continues to serve alongside local church communities in teaching and worship capacities and has a unique interest in helping people explore their own developmental journey as it relates to spirituality and growth. He is the co-founder of the The Way at Vanguard. Check out <a href="http://thewayofjesus.org/" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">thewayofjesus.org</a> to find out more about these spiritual practices. He has recently released on iTunes: "Made New" from the label "From the Vine". and Bryan's most recent music release is a collaborative project "Seek &amp; Behold" co-written with Debrianna Cabitac. Here's a link: <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/made-new/993275143" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/made-new/993275143</a> Seek &amp; Behold by Debrianna Cabitac <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/seek-behold/1305314140" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/seek-behold/1305314140</a> <a href="https://open.spotify.com/album/1jejWJcOilhDiR1lbn9FVo?si=9WTv81QBTPOOR-OhgcOrPg" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://open.spotify.com/album/1jejWJcOilhDiR1lbn9FVo?si=9WTv81QBTPOOR-OhgcOrPg</a> Erikson's Developmental Stages: <a href="https://www.simplypsychology.org/Erik-Erikson.html" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://www.simplypsychology.org/Erik-Erikson.html</a> False Self/Shadow self-- the idea that we struggle through our own deficits and flaws, firstly to cover them up. the despariy between our core essense We're so hell bent on holding onto this image of ourselves, that we, in the process, cover up and push away from our core essense that's vulnerable, open and surrender-oriented. Phil 2:6-11 In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature[a] God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature[b] of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death— even death on a cross! Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue acknowledge that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father. Matthew 5-7, Sermon of the Mount. Cynthia Bourgeault The spiritual journey, wherever it comes from, is always the same. It always is surrender, attention and compassion. "That first initial stage of disorientation (in spiritual development), the dark night of the soul, is a way for you to realize that what you've been pursing or finding satisfaction in is the FORM of worship with God, but not the essence, which is God Himself." Bryan R. Jesus is the WAY before He becomes truth, and then He becomes life. "The practice of pilgrimage is a going forth and a returning home that enlarge the meaning of both the self and home." Sharon Daloz Parks Faith is living out the reality of "God doesn't give us a list of propositions of who He is, He gives us a relationship and a character of faith that we see in the Old Testament. Who is kind, who is good. Then we meet the face of Jesus, the full expression of God." Bryan R. Stages of Faith: The Psychology of Human Development and the Quest for Meaning By James W. Fowler Kohlberg's Stages of Moral Development <a href="https://www.psychologynoteshq.com/kohlbergstheory/" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://www.psychologynoteshq.com/kohlbergstheory/</a>

24| Interview with Bryan Rouanzoin

In this episode we introduce the theme of season three, mental health and the church, and begin to uncover some of the myths associated with these two different, yet integral movements. In this theme we’ll explore how faith communities might or might not engage with issues and how we, in faith, live authentically, empathetic, and connected. The catch all phrase “mental health” looks at the emotional, psychological and social well being. We discuss how our body, mind and soul contribute to our mental health and dissect problematic theologies that can pull us away from optimum mental health and spiritual maturity. The myths that often surround mental health and its implication of one’s faith are uncovered and disputed and a call to recognize and use the God given tools we have to be more mentally healthy is given.    What does the catch all phrase mental health mean?   Shema, the intention to Love the Lord God with your whole being.   “Those in whom the Spirit comes to live are God's new Temple. They are, individually and corporately, places where heaven and earth meet.” - NT Wright   Myths: How Christians Have Viewed Mental Health Focusing on emotion or physical body makes you weak (faithless) Body mind divide Prayer is all you need to heal problems   Deut 6:4-8 “Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads.” Luke 10:25-28 “On one occasion an expert in the law stood up to test Jesus. ‘Teacher,’ he asked, ‘what must I do to inherit eternal life? What is written in the Law?’ he replied. ‘How do you read it?’ He answered, ‘‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’  ‘You have answered correctly,’ Jesus replied. ‘Do this and you will live.’”   Lost Connections by Johann Hari  https://www.amazon.com/Lost-Connections-Uncovering-Depression-Unexpected/dp/163286830X/ref=sr_1_1?crid=KHS13C5G38DV&amp;keywords=lost+connections&amp;qid=1567786680&amp;s=gateway&amp;sprefix=lost+conn%2Caps%2C229&amp;sr=8-1   Join us on our Facebook Group: The Desire Line Podcast Community  Follow us on Twitter: @my desireline &amp; @brandonalancook &amp; @susettemtherapy On instagram: @desire.line.podcast @susette.magana.therapy &amp; @brandonalancook Support us on Patreon on “The Desire Line Podcast”

In this episode we introduce the theme of season three, mental health and the church, and begin to uncover some of the myths associated with these two different, yet integral movements. In this theme we’ll explore how faith communities might or might not engage with issues and how we, in faith, live authentically, empathetic, and connected. The catch all phrase “mental health” looks at the emotional, psychological and social well being. We discuss how our body, mind and soul contribute to our mental health and dissect problematic theologies that can pull us away from optimum mental health and spiritual maturity. The myths that often surround mental health and its implication of one’s faith are uncovered and disputed and a call to recognize and use the God given tools we have to be more mentally healthy is given.  What does the catch all phrase mental health mean? Shema, the intention to Love the Lord God with your whole being. “Those in whom the Spirit comes to live are God's new Temple. They are, individually and corporately, places where heaven and earth meet.” - NT Wright Myths: How Christians Have Viewed Mental Health Focusing on emotion or physical body makes you weak (faithless) Body mind divide Prayer is all you need to heal problems Deut 6:4-8 “Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads.” Luke 10:25-28 “On one occasion an expert in the law stood up to test Jesus. ‘Teacher,’ he asked, ‘what must I do to inherit eternal life? What is written in the Law?’ he replied. ‘How do you read it?’ He answered, ‘‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’  ‘You have answered correctly,’ Jesus replied. ‘Do this and you will live.’” Lost Connections by Johann Hari <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Lost-Connections-Uncovering-Depression-Unexpected/dp/163286830X/ref=sr_1_1?crid=KHS13C5G38DV&amp;keywords=lost+connections&amp;qid=1567786680&amp;s=gateway&amp;sprefix=lost+conn%2Caps%2C229&amp;sr=8-1" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> https://www.amazon.com/Lost-Connections-Uncovering-Depression-Unexpected/dp/163286830X/ref=sr_1_1?crid=KHS13C5G38DV&amp;keywords=lost+connections&amp;qid=1567786680&amp;s=gateway&amp;sprefix=lost+conn%2Caps%2C229&amp;sr=8-1</a> Join us on our Facebook Group: The Desire Line Podcast Community  Follow us on Twitter: @my desireline &amp; @brandonalancook &amp; @susettemtherapy On instagram: @desire.line.podcast @susette.magana.therapy &amp; @brandonalancook Support us on Patreon on “The Desire Line Podcast”

53| Mental Health the Church and Myths That Surround It

How does our view of God &amp; His love for us change as we grow from childhood into adulthood?  Looking at how our faith develops over the span of human development, using James W. Fowler's Stages of Faith.  We talk a lot of attachment theory, and how we have frozen in different developmental stages in a few ways.    Debate: Who's the bigger nerd?  Susette or Brandon? You can vote on our Desire Line Podcast Community on Facebook! The OC Supertones "Found" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yMYnU_VyCM0 A Chart comparing Fowler's Stages of Faith with M. Scott Peck (see ep 15-18 of the Desire Line)  http://www.psychologycharts.com/james-fowler-stages-of-faith.html Information on this episode was taken from this article by Rose Anne Karesh (Thank you, Rose Anne!):  https://owlcation.com/humanities/James-Fowler-and-Spiritual-Development-Stages-of-Faith From the article: James Fowler's Stages of Faith Stage 1: (3 to 7 years ) Intuitive–Projective stage in which children are beginning to be able to use symbols and their imaginations. However children in this stage are very self-focused and inclined to take very literally (and self-referentially) ideas about evil, the devil or other negative aspects of religion. The ability to sort out reality from fantasy is not well developed. Stage 2: (6-12 years, school age) Mythic–Literal stage in which information is organized into stories. These stories, along with moral rules, are understood literally and concretely. There is little ability to step back from the story and formulate an overarching meaning. Justice and fairness are seen as reciprocal. A few people remain in this stage throughout their lives. Stage 3: (adolescence to early adulthood, some people remain permanently in this stage) Synthetic–Conventional stage in which people believe without having critically examined their beliefs. Their beliefs are in what they have been taught and in what they see “everyone else” as believing too. There is a strong sense of identity with the group. People in this stage are not very open to questions because questions are frightening at this point of development. People in this stage place a large amount of trust in external authority figures and tend not to recognize that they are within a belief system “box” as their beliefs are internalized but have not been examined. Stage 4: (the earlier in adulthood the easier on the person) Individuative-Reflective stage in which a person begins to recognize they are in a “box” and look outside it. People in this stage ask questions and see the contradictions or problems in their beliefs. This can be a very painful stage as old ideas are now modified and sometimes rejected altogether. Some people give up on faith altogether at this point but faith can be strengthened in this stage as beliefs become explicitly, personally held. There is a strong reliance on the logic, rational mind and the self. Stage 5: (usually not before mid-life) Conjunctive stage in which a person who has gone through the deconstruction of the Individuative-Reflective stage begins to let go of some of the reliance on their own rational mind and recognize that some experiences are not logical or easily understood at all. The move here is from either/or to both/and; complexity and paradox are embraced. People in this stage are more willing to dialogue with people of other faiths, seeking further information and correction to their own beliefs, and are able to do this without letting go of their own faith. Stage 6: Universalizing stage. Very few people reach this stage, which is characterized by seeing all of humanity as one brotherhood and taking profound, self-sacrificing action to care for all humanity because of this view. Article on Play Therapy: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/contemporary-psychoanalysis-in-action/201601/child-s-play-how-play-therapy-works

How does our view of God &amp; His love for us change as we grow from childhood into adulthood?  Looking at how our faith develops over the span of human development, using James W. Fowler's Stages of Faith.  We talk a lot of attachment theory, and how we have frozen in different developmental stages in a few ways.    Debate: Who's the bigger nerd?  Susette or Brandon? You can vote on our Desire Line Podcast Community on Facebook! The OC Supertones "Found" <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yMYnU_VyCM0" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yMYnU_VyCM0</a> A Chart comparing Fowler's Stages of Faith with M. Scott Peck (see ep 15-18 of the Desire Line) <a href="http://www.psychologycharts.com/james-fowler-stages-of-faith.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">http://www.psychologycharts.com/james-fowler-stages-of-faith.html</a> Information on this episode was taken from this article by Rose Anne Karesh (Thank you, Rose Anne!):  <a href="https://owlcation.com/humanities/James-Fowler-and-Spiritual-Development-Stages-of-Faith" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://owlcation.com/humanities/James-Fowler-and-Spiritual-Development-Stages-of-Faith</a> From the article: James Fowler's Stages of Faith Stage 1: (3 to 7 years ) Intuitive–Projective stage in which children are beginning to be able to use symbols and their imaginations. However children in this stage are very self-focused and inclined to take very literally (and self-referentially) ideas about evil, the devil or other negative aspects of religion. The ability to sort out reality from fantasy is not well developed. Stage 2: (6-12 years, school age) Mythic–Literal stage in which information is organized into stories. These stories, along with moral rules, are understood literally and concretely. There is little ability to step back from the story and formulate an overarching meaning. Justice and fairness are seen as reciprocal. A few people remain in this stage throughout their lives. Stage 3: (adolescence to early adulthood, some people remain permanently in this stage) Synthetic–Conventional stage in which people believe without having critically examined their beliefs. Their beliefs are in what they have been taught and in what they see “everyone else” as believing too. There is a strong sense of identity with the group. People in this stage are not very open to questions because questions are frightening at this point of development. People in this stage place a large amount of trust in external authority figures and tend not to recognize that they are within a belief system “box” as their beliefs are internalized but have not been examined. Stage 4: (the earlier in adulthood the easier on the person) Individuative-Reflective stage in which a person begins to recognize they are in a “box” and look outside it. People in this stage ask questions and see the contradictions or problems in their beliefs. This can be a very painful stage as old ideas are now modified and sometimes rejected altogether. Some people give up on faith altogether at this point but faith can be strengthened in this stage as beliefs become explicitly, personally held. There is a strong reliance on the logic, rational mind and the self. Stage 5: (usually not before mid-life) Conjunctive stage in which a person who has gone through the deconstruction of the Individuative-Reflective stage begins to let go of some of the reliance on their own rational mind and recognize that some experiences are not logical or easily understood at all. The move here is from either/or to both/and; complexity and paradox are embraced. People in this stage are more willing to dialogue with people of other faiths, seeking further information and correction to their own beliefs, and are able to do this without letting go of their own faith. Stage 6: Universalizing stage. Very few people reach this stage, which is characterized by seeing all of humanity as one brotherhood and taking profound, self-sacrificing action to care for all humanity because of this view. Article on Play Therapy: <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/contemporary-psychoanalysis-in-action/201601/child-s-play-how-play-therapy-works" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/contemporary-psychoanalysis-in-action/201601/child-s-play-how-play-therapy-works</a>

21| Faith & Human Development: Long Lost Friends  (James W. Fowler's Stages of Faith) | Spiritual Development VII

Subscribe to this podcast on iTunes/Apple Podcasts.   Find us on Facebook: Desire Line Podcast Community On Twitter: @mydesireline @susettemtherapy @brandonalancook On Instagram: @susette.magana.therapy @brandonalancook Episode 27: Our third episode in our Attachment arc starts discussing how attachment affects us in adulthood. We talk "Internal Working Model" "A cognitive framework comprising mental representations for understanding the world, self, and others. A person’s interaction with others is guided by memories and expectations from their internal model which influence and help evaluate their contact with others." https://www.simplypsychology.org/bowlby.html And how we see our own IWM, and how our relationship with God affects it. Psalm 139:5 You go before me and follow me. You place your hand of blessing on my head. There are three main features of the internal working model: (1) a model of others as being trustworthy, (2) a model of the self as valuable, and (3) a model of the self as effective when interacting with others. These beliefs of who we are, vs. how safe “the world” guides many of our interactions. Differentiation: Differentiation means maintaining your own individuality while in a relationship. How do you take responsibility for your own thoughts, feelings, behaviors, and acknowledge how other's thoughts, feelings, behaviors effect you? This gives us the ability to communicate your thoughts, feelings, behaviors honestly &amp; lovingly to others, and not try to make them take responsibility for you, while you don't take responsibility for them. Hugging til Relaxed Here's a terrific was to get more in touch with your partner while also getting a better grip on yourself. It turns a simple hug into a window into your relationship and a way to improve it. Prepare yourself by taking a few minutes to slow down, relax, and slow your heart rate. Then stand facing your partner a few feet away. Get a balanced, well-grounded stance over your own two feet. Close your eyes, take a breath, and relax again. Open your eyes, and when the two of you are ready, shuffle forward without loosing your relaxed balanced position, so that you have one foot between your partner's feet. Get close enough that you can easily put your arms around your partner without feeling off balance, or pulling or pushing your partner off-balance either. Shift your stance or position as needed to be physically comfortable. Let yourself relax into the hug and remember to breathe. Lots of feelings about your partner, your relationship and yourself are bound to surface. Note your resistances but don't give into them. Afterwards, talk about the experience with your partner. It often takes several months of practice, several times a week, but you'll be amazed by the many improvements this brings. Hugging 'till Relaxed is fully described in the book Passionate Marriage.

Subscribe to this podcast on iTunes/Apple Podcasts.   Find us on Facebook: Desire Line Podcast Community On Twitter: @mydesireline @susettemtherapy @brandonalancook On Instagram: @susette.magana.therapy @brandonalancook Episode 27: Our third episode in our Attachment arc starts discussing how attachment affects us in adulthood. We talk "Internal Working Model" "A cognitive framework comprising mental representations for understanding the world, self, and others. A person’s interaction with others is guided by memories and expectations from their internal model which influence and help evaluate their contact with others." <a href="https://www.simplypsychology.org/bowlby.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.simplypsychology.org/bowlby.html</a> And how we see our own IWM, and how our relationship with God affects it. Psalm 139:5 You go before me and follow me. You place your hand of blessing on my head. There are three main features of the internal working model: (1) a model of others as being trustworthy, (2) a model of the self as valuable, and (3) a model of the self as effective when interacting with others. These beliefs of who we are, vs. how safe “the world” guides many of our interactions. Differentiation: Differentiation means maintaining your own individuality while in a relationship. How do you take responsibility for your own thoughts, feelings, behaviors, and acknowledge how other's thoughts, feelings, behaviors effect you? This gives us the ability to communicate your thoughts, feelings, behaviors honestly &amp; lovingly to others, and not try to make them take responsibility for you, while you don't take responsibility for them. Hugging til Relaxed Here's a terrific was to get more in touch with your partner while also getting a better grip on yourself. It turns a simple hug into a window into your relationship and a way to improve it. Prepare yourself by taking a few minutes to slow down, relax, and slow your heart rate. Then stand facing your partner a few feet away. Get a balanced, well-grounded stance over your own two feet. Close your eyes, take a breath, and relax again. Open your eyes, and when the two of you are ready, shuffle forward without loosing your relaxed balanced position, so that you have one foot between your partner's feet. Get close enough that you can easily put your arms around your partner without feeling off balance, or pulling or pushing your partner off-balance either. Shift your stance or position as needed to be physically comfortable. Let yourself relax into the hug and remember to breathe. Lots of feelings about your partner, your relationship and yourself are bound to surface. Note your resistances but don't give into them. Afterwards, talk about the experience with your partner. It often takes several months of practice, several times a week, but you'll be amazed by the many improvements this brings. Hugging 'till Relaxed is fully described in the book Passionate Marriage.

27| Being a Grown Up | Attachment Theory III

Richard Rohr

Hey Desire Line family! We are back with another episode in our series on Understanding The Bible. Today we dive back into human development and the ways it mirrors spiritual development, seen throughout the history of the bible. We use Erik Erikson's Theory of Psychosocial Development to examine books of the bible and how early Christians stop defining themselves by the rules, and begin defining themselves as a people of God. In typical Desire Line tradition, there are at least two unplanned song breaks, so you really don't want to miss this one! ----------------- Richard Rohr OFM is an American author, spiritual writer, and Franciscan friar based in Albuquerque, New Mexico. He was ordained to the priesthood in the Roman Catholic Church in 1970. He has been called "one of the most popular spirituality authors and speakers in the world.” “Heaven is important but it’s not the end of the world” - NT WRIGHT Parable Of The Mustard Seed Rohr says: “Walter Brueggeman connects the story of the Hebrew Scriptures with the development of human consciousness. Brueggemann identifies different stages in the three major parts of the Hebrew Scriptures: the Torah, the Prophets, and the Wisdom literature. The Torah, or the first five books, correspond, Brueggemann says, to the good and necessary “first half of life.” This is the period in which the people of Israel were given their identity through law, tradition, structure, certitude, group ritual, clarity, and chosenness.” Erik Homburger Erikson was a German-American developmental psychologist and psychoanalyst known for his theory on psychological development of human beings. Healthy self-criticism helps you realize you are not that good, and your group is not the only chosen people. It begins to break down either/or, dualistic thinking as you realize all things are both good and bad. This makes idolatry of anything and war against anybody much less likely. The prophets do not have much good to say about Israel, and thus seem to have all been killed (Matthew 23:31-32). -Richard Rohr Matthew 9:13 But go and learn what this means: 'I desire mercy, not sacrifice.' For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners."  Isaiah 58 I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. Ezekiel 36:26 " Universalism," in its simple and proper theological sense, is the doctrine of universal salvation; or in other words, of the final holiness and happiness of all humans, to be effected by the grace of God, through the ministry of his Son, Jesus Christ. Click  here to listen to Episode 15 of The Desire Line   Numbers 6:24-26 New Living Translation (NLT) 24 ‘May the Lord bless you    and protect you. 25 May the Lord smile on you    and be gracious to you. 26 May the Lord show you his favor    and give you his peace.’   I Don't Want It by DC Talk Lyrics: https://genius.com/Dc-talk-i-dont-want-it-lyrics The Best Part:  S-e-x is test when I'm pressed So back up off with less of that zest Impress this brother with a life of virtue The innocence that's spent is gonna hurt you Safe is the way they say to play Then again safe ain't safe at all today So just wait for the mate that's straight from god Don't have sex 'til you tie the knot

Hey Desire Line family! We are back with another episode in our series on Understanding The Bible. Today we dive back into human development and the ways it mirrors spiritual development, seen throughout the history of the bible. We use Erik Erikson's Theory of Psychosocial Development to examine books of the bible and how early Christians stop defining themselves by the rules, and begin defining themselves as a people of God. In typical Desire Line tradition, there are at least two unplanned song breaks, so you really don't want to miss this one! ----------------- Richard Rohr OFM is an American author, spiritual writer, and Franciscan friar based in Albuquerque, New Mexico. He was ordained to the priesthood in the Roman Catholic Church in 1970. He has been called "one of the most popular spirituality authors and speakers in the world.” “Heaven is important but it’s not the end of the world” - NT WRIGHT <a href="https://biblehub.com/matthew/13-31.htm" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Parable Of The Mustard Seed</a> Rohr says: “Walter Brueggeman connects the story of the Hebrew Scriptures with the development of human consciousness. Brueggemann identifies different stages in the three major parts of the Hebrew Scriptures: the Torah, the Prophets, and the Wisdom literature. The Torah, or the first five books, correspond, Brueggemann says, to the good and necessary “first half of life.” This is the period in which the people of Israel were given their identity through law, tradition, structure, certitude, group ritual, clarity, and chosenness.” Erik Homburger Erikson was a German-American developmental psychologist and psychoanalyst known for his theory on psychological development of human beings. Healthy self-criticism helps you realize you are not that good, and your group is not the only chosen people. It begins to break down either/or, dualistic thinking as you realize all things are both good and bad. This makes idolatry of anything and war against anybody much less likely. The prophets do not have much good to say about Israel, and thus seem to have all been killed (Matthew 23:31-32). -Richard Rohr Matthew 9:13 But go and learn what this means: 'I desire mercy, not sacrifice.' For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners." <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Isaiah+58&amp;version=NIV" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> Isaiah 58</a> I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. Ezekiel 36:26 " Universalism," in its simple and proper theological sense, is the doctrine of universal salvation; or in other words, of the final holiness and happiness of all humans, to be effected by the grace of God, through the ministry of his Son, Jesus Christ. Click <a href="https://www.desirelinepodcast.com/listen/2018/2/5/episode-15-patterns-of-spiritual-development" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> here</a> to listen to Episode 15 of The Desire Line   Numbers 6:24-26 New Living Translation (NLT) 24 ‘May the Lord bless you    and protect you. 25 May the Lord smile on you    and be gracious to you. 26 May the Lord show you his favor    and give you his peace.’ I Don't Want It by DC Talk Lyrics: <a href="https://genius.com/Dc-talk-i-dont-want-it-lyrics" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://genius.com/Dc-talk-i-dont-want-it-lyrics</a> The Best Part:  S-e-x is test when I'm pressed So back up off with less of that zest Impress this brother with a life of virtue <a href="https://genius.com/Dc-talk-i-dont-want-it-lyrics#note-2714416" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank">The innocence that's spent is gonna hurt you</a> <a href="https://genius.com/Dc-talk-i-dont-want-it-lyrics#note-2714416" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank">Safe is the way they say to play</a> <a href="https://genius.com/Dc-talk-i-dont-want-it-lyrics#note-2714416" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank">Then again safe ain't safe at all today</a> So just wait for the mate that's straight from god Don't have sex 'til you tie the knot

37 |  Bible + Erik Erikson + Richard Rohr  | Understanding The Bible V

As we continue our arc on abuse Susette and Brandon invite Barbara Sonofsky to the conversation of sexual abuse. In this episode Barb shares her story and explains how her experiences and recovery has shaped her.  We shed more light on the complexities of this form of abuse in hopes to raise awareness and provide outlets for healing. Sexual abuse is unwanted sexual activity, with perpetrators using force, making threats or taking advantage of victims not able to give consent. Most victims and perpetrators know each other. Immediate reactions to sexual abuse include shock, fear or disbelief. Long-term symptoms include anxiety, fear or post-traumatic stress disorder. While efforts to treat sex offenders remain unpromising, psychological interventions for survivors — especially group therapy — appears effective. RESOURCES Domestic Violence Hotline:  https://www.thehotline.org     Child Abuse Reporting    https://www.childwelfare.gov/organizations/?CWIGFunctionsaction=rols:main.dspList&amp;rolType=Custom&amp;RS_ID=%205     Elder Abuse:   https://www.justice.gov/elderjustice     Toxic Faith   https://www.amazon.com/dp/0877888256/ref=cm_sw_r_sms_c_api_i_yHyzEbTHV6EKN     Sexual Abuse Recovery: The Wounded Heart: Hope for Adult Victims of Childhood Sexual Abuse

As we continue our arc on abuse Susette and Brandon invite Barbara Sonofsky to the conversation of sexual abuse. In this episode Barb shares her story and explains how her experiences and recovery has shaped her.  We shed more light on the complexities of this form of abuse in hopes to raise awareness and provide outlets for healing. Sexual abuse is unwanted sexual activity, with perpetrators using force, making threats or taking advantage of victims not able to give consent. Most victims and perpetrators know each other. Immediate reactions to sexual abuse include shock, fear or disbelief. Long-term symptoms include anxiety, fear or post-traumatic stress disorder. While efforts to treat sex offenders remain unpromising, psychological interventions for survivors — especially group therapy — appears effective. RESOURCES Domestic Violence Hotline: <a href="https://www.thehotline.org/" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank"> https://www.thehotline.org</a>   Child Abuse Reporting  <a href="https://www.childwelfare.gov/organizations/?CWIGFunctionsaction=rols:main.dspList&amp;rolType=Custom&amp;RS_ID=%205" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank"> https://www.childwelfare.gov/organizations/?CWIGFunctionsaction=rols:main.dspList&amp;rolType=Custom&amp;RS_ID=%205</a>   Elder Abuse: <a href="https://www.justice.gov/elderjustice" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank"> https://www.justice.gov/elderjustice</a>   Toxic Faith <a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/0877888256/ref=cm_sw_r_sms_c_api_i_yHyzEbTHV6EKN" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank"> https://www.amazon.com/dp/0877888256/ref=cm_sw_r_sms_c_api_i_yHyzEbTHV6EKN</a>   Sexual Abuse Recovery: The Wounded Heart: Hope for Adult Victims of Childhood Sexual Abuse

63 | Sexual Abuse | Mental Health and the Church

The Best Multi-Part Documentaries, with documentaries on Obama, Federer vs Nadal, the making of Star Wars, Netflix vs Blockbuster and more. Add episodes you're interested into your queue below!

Best Multi-Part Documentaries

The best podcast episodes of anyone with an interesting story. With famous guests like Obama, LeBron James, Drake, Oprah Winfrey, Richard Branson, Michelle Obama, Serena Williams, to anyone who has a unique and interesting story to tell. Add episodes you're interested into your queue below!