Intro:  Hello, and welcome to episode 153 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you, us, that we can live joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, lives.   Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!     Welcome to my eight-year podcastiversary!  What is today’s show about? My Eight-Year Podcastiversary!   Thank you Patreon contributors: I would like to take a moment to say a special thank you to the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors. Some of you have been donating/giving/contributing, for years!  Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much!        If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you!   If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com.  Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you! https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice   Questions or comments? Contact me at:   Email: Info@civillamorgan.com                                                   Or   Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.   Body of episode:   Before we get started though, I want to give a heads-up to those who listen to the Childless not by Choice podcast on the Stitcher Podcatcher app. Unfortunately, Stitcher is going away effective August 29, 2023. They say you may listen on their sister app Pandora. Many of you may know Pandora as a music app which it is, but Pandora started hosting podcasts a few years ago.  If you use the Stitcher app, there are instructions in the app on how to export your shows so you don’t have to go one by one searching from them in another Podcatcher app.    And as I always say, the Childless not by Choice podcast can be found on just about any podcatcher app including Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Overcast, Himalaya, Bullhorn, Google Podcast, you name it, the podcast is there!     Of course, if you have any questions about how to listen to the podcast, reach out in the Childless not by Choice Facebook Group, email me at civilla@civillamorgan.com, or Message me on social.    So, I want to talk to you for a few minutes about Milestones and Lemonade!     Milestone: I have been talking to you for eight years and I love it! A great big thank you to the long-time listeners! And a great big welcome to all of the new listeners! I’m so happy you found us! If you have been listening since the beginning, you have been journeying with me through episodes where I had fabulous guests. Times of Me only episodes, aka monologue episodes. You stayed with me through my grief at the loss of my mommy, and you have continued with me as I continue to care for my dad. You’ve journeyed with me by listening to the episodes that I created to help you on your journey, but you have given me grace for my journey. Thank you.         Lemonade. I love lemons! The nice, fresh, ripe lemons that you roll on the kitchen counter a few times before cutting them in half and squeezing them to make lemonade, or squeezing them on seafood to create another level of flavor!  But life’s lemons are a whole ‘nother story right?!   What lemon or lemons are you dealing with right now? We all get lemons in this life. And I believe although the lemon fruit adds another level of taste to many dishes, including lemonade, life’s lemons can feel harsh. Breathtakingly so sometimes. Until you turn them into lemonade. Remember, life is filled with choices. Unless you decide, choose, to make the best of the life you have been given; the childless not by choice life, things can become, and stay overwhelming for a very long time. Who wants that? Life is too short. Do the best you can with where you are, how you are, and when you are. Most of us don’t have full control over our jobs, our family members, where we live, etc., but whatever you can control, or manage, do. It will be good for your mental health. What is also good for your mental health is also to know the difference between what you can control and what you cannot.      PIVOT     Milestone. The first time I interviewed a man on the podcast was back in 2015! Link in the show notes! I couldn’t believe I had not considered men. It was a whole different conversation. Of course right? Please listen to the episode! https://21stcenturyhannah.libsyn.com/childless-not-by-choice-from-a-mans-point-of-view-with-fellow-podcaster-dr-vibe       Episodes with authors–I searched through the back catalog and found about seven episodes where I had the great opportunity to interview authors who have written on the subject of childlessness. If you have not listened to the back catalog, why not give it a try? I’m saying that knowing full well, like most podcasters, that our earlier work can feel cringe to us, but hey, it also shows how the show has matured.        Speaking of: It’s OK to re-listen to an episode. Just like we re-watch certain movies or shows, we can re-listen to a podcast episode. I notice that every time I have re-watched or re-listened, I catch something I missed the first time. Now, in full transparency, every time you listen, that is a download for me. But honestly, if downloads were all I cared about, I would have quit podcasting a long time ago. There’s a show I watch that is now in its seventh season! I have re-watched most of the episodes multiple times. And I am always shocked at what I missed the first or even the second time I watched. I guess it depends on what we may have been doing, aka multitasking, the first or second time we watch or listen to something. Also, an episode may affect you differently now, than it did when it first came out. So there’s that!        Lemonade. I want to re-visit patronage and giving: If you find value in the content. If the podcast has helped you in any way, consider giving/contributing. I would like to continue creating this podcast, and regardless of the contributions, I will continue. Honestly, if I ever stopped the podcast it would not be because of the finances on the platform. It would be because it is time. But being able to use your contributions to pay for things on the platform, is so cool! Once again, to those of you who give regularly, thank you!  If you have been thinking about it but just have not gotten around to it, why not sign up during this time of my podcastiversary celebration? It would be truly appreciated. While I am asking, would you consider leaving a review at Apple Podcast to help bring recognition to the podcast? Anything you can do to help bring recognition to the podcast would be greatly appreciated!         Once again thank, thank you for being here. I see you, I think of you, you are worthy, you are here for a reason. You are fabulous! Don’t forget that! Here’s to another eight years. Cheers!      Special thank you to: Everyone who listens to the podcast!   My contact information:  Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.com Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan Twitter: @civilla1 Instagram: @joyandrelevance Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM https://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice  

Intro: Hello, and welcome to episode 153 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you, us, that we can live joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, lives.   Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!   Welcome to my eight-year podcastiversary!  What is today’s show about? My Eight-Year Podcastiversary! Thank you Patreon contributors: I would like to take a moment to say a special thank you to the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors. Some of you have been donating/giving/contributing, for years!  Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much!      If you are not yet a Patron, visit <a href="http://patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice</a> to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you!   If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at <a href="mailto:booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com">booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com</a>.  Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you! <a href="https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice</a> Questions or comments? Contact me at: Email: <a href="mailto:Info@civillamorgan.com">Info@civillamorgan.com</a>                                                Or Visit the website at <a href="http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.childlessnotbychoice.net</a>, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail. Body of episode: Before we get started though, I want to give a heads-up to those who listen to the Childless not by Choice podcast on the Stitcher Podcatcher app. Unfortunately, Stitcher is going away effective August 29, 2023. They say you may listen on their sister app Pandora. Many of you may know Pandora as a music app which it is, but Pandora started hosting podcasts a few years ago.  If you use the Stitcher app, there are instructions in the app on how to export your shows so you don’t have to go one by one searching from them in another Podcatcher app.  And as I always say, the Childless not by Choice podcast can be found on just about any podcatcher app including Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Overcast, Himalaya, Bullhorn, Google Podcast, you name it, the podcast is there!     Of course, if you have any questions about how to listen to the podcast, reach out in the Childless not by Choice Facebook Group, email me at <a href="mailto:civilla@civillamorgan.com">civilla@civillamorgan.com</a>, or Message me on social.  So, I want to talk to you for a few minutes about Milestones and Lemonade! <ol> <li> Milestone: I have been talking to you for eight years and I love it! A great big thank you to the long-time listeners! And a great big welcome to all of the new listeners! I’m so happy you found us! If you have been listening since the beginning, you have been journeying with me through episodes where I had fabulous guests. Times of Me only episodes, aka monologue episodes. You stayed with me through my grief at the loss of my mommy, and you have continued with me as I continue to care for my dad. You’ve journeyed with me by listening to the episodes that I created to help you on your journey, but you have given me grace for my journey. Thank you.   </li> </ol> <ol> <li> Lemonade. I love lemons! The nice, fresh, ripe lemons that you roll on the kitchen counter a few times before cutting them in half and squeezing them to make lemonade, or squeezing them on seafood to create another level of flavor!  But life’s lemons are a whole ‘nother story right?!   What lemon or lemons are you dealing with right now? We all get lemons in this life. And I believe although the lemon fruit adds another level of taste to many dishes, including lemonade, life’s lemons can feel harsh. Breathtakingly so sometimes. Until you turn them into lemonade. Remember, life is filled with choices. Unless you decide, choose, to make the best of the life you have been given; the childless not by choice life, things can become, and stay overwhelming for a very long time. Who wants that? Life is too short. Do the best you can with where you are, how you are, and when you are. Most of us don’t have full control over our jobs, our family members, where we live, etc., but whatever you can control, or manage, do. It will be good for your mental health. What is also good for your mental health is also to know the difference between what you can control and what you cannot.  </li> </ol> PIVOT <ol> <li> Milestone. The first time I interviewed a man on the podcast was back in 2015! Link in the show notes! I couldn’t believe I had not considered men. It was a whole different conversation. Of course right? Please listen to the episode! <a href="https://21stcenturyhannah.libsyn.com/childless-not-by-choice-from-a-mans-point-of-view-with-fellow-podcaster-dr-vibe" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://21stcenturyhannah.libsyn.com/childless-not-by-choice-from-a-mans-point-of-view-with-fellow-podcaster-dr-vibe</a> </li> </ol> <ol> <li> Episodes with authors–I searched through the back catalog and found about seven episodes where I had the great opportunity to interview authors who have written on the subject of childlessness. If you have not listened to the back catalog, why not give it a try? I’m saying that knowing full well, like most podcasters, that our earlier work can feel cringe to us, but hey, it also shows how the show has matured.  </li> </ol> <ol> <li> Speaking of: It’s OK to re-listen to an episode. Just like we re-watch certain movies or shows, we can re-listen to a podcast episode. I notice that every time I have re-watched or re-listened, I catch something I missed the first time. Now, in full transparency, every time you listen, that is a download for me. But honestly, if downloads were all I cared about, I would have quit podcasting a long time ago. There’s a show I watch that is now in its seventh season! I have re-watched most of the episodes multiple times. And I am always shocked at what I missed the first or even the second time I watched. I guess it depends on what we may have been doing, aka multitasking, the first or second time we watch or listen to something. Also, an episode may affect you differently now, than it did when it first came out. So there’s that!  </li> </ol> <ol> <li> Lemonade. I want to re-visit patronage and giving: If you find value in the content. If the podcast has helped you in any way, consider giving/contributing. I would like to continue creating this podcast, and regardless of the contributions, I will continue. Honestly, if I ever stopped the podcast it would not be because of the finances on the platform. It would be because it is time. But being able to use your contributions to pay for things on the platform, is so cool! Once again, to those of you who give regularly, thank you!  If you have been thinking about it but just have not gotten around to it, why not sign up during this time of my podcastiversary celebration? It would be truly appreciated. While I am asking, would you consider leaving a review at Apple Podcast to help bring recognition to the podcast? Anything you can do to help bring recognition to the podcast would be greatly appreciated!   </li> </ol> <ol> <li> Once again thank, thank you for being here. I see you, I think of you, you are worthy, you are here for a reason. You are fabulous! Don’t forget that! Here’s to another eight years. Cheers!   </li> </ol> Special thank you to: Everyone who listens to the podcast! My contact information: Website: <a href="http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.childlessnotbychoice.net</a> and <a href="http://www.civillamorgan.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.civillamorgan.com</a> Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan Twitter: @civilla1 Instagram: @joyandrelevance Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM <a href="https://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice </a>

Episode 153--My Eight Year Podcastiversary--Milestones and Lemonade

Hello, and welcome to episode 152 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you, us, that we can live joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, lives.   Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!     What is today’s show about? Father’s Day   Thank you Patreon contributors: I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors.  Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much!      If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you!   If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com.  Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you! https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice   Questions or comments? Contact me at:   Email: Info@civillamorgan.com                                                   Or   Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.   Body of episode: It may be a little ironic, or maybe not, but I have not created a fresh June episode because I am caring for my dad. Many of you have heard bits and pieces in previous episodes, that I am his primary caregiver. And it is an honor. The last few months, as in since about the end of February, he has battled on through multiple medical issues. And I have battled to advocate for him.  Unfortunately, advocating feels like an uphill battle.  It sometimes feels like the medical community wants to dictate how I should not care for my father because they know best, even if they just see him as another elderly person.  There were several times when I thought ‘This is it, he’s not going to make it.’ But he continues to be with us. I cherish and thank God for every single day, every minute, I get with him.  Being a caregiver who works,  means that I am on the run from the moment my eyes open in the morning, until bedtime. I do my very best to get at least seven hours, otherwise, there would just be no way to maintain my schedule. No. Way.  Bottom line, sleep keeps me from falling apart.  I want to thank you for your patience as I navigate my life as it currently is, and my podcasting schedule. Not to pat myself on the back, but because I do take this podcast so seriously, the research, the guests, the everything; being able to go back and ask you to listen to a previous episode, which is what I am asking you to do this month; does not feel like a cop-out.  I have had the great privilege of having fabulous guests throughout the life of this podcast. The episode 143 guest, Dr. Robin Hadley, is no different. Episode 143 first aired in August of 2022. Please take a listen.  Thank you!    Articles/links of interest:  https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-143-the-things-men-talk-about-my-conversation-with-dr-robin-hadley/  https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-130-about-fathers-day-and-childlessness/ Special thank you to: Dr. Robin Hadley   My contact information:  Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.com Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan Twitter: @civilla1 Instagram: @joyandrelevance Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM https://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice   ‘To recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.’ ‘Spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life’.  Survey: https://bit.ly/2TSMuDV

Hello, and welcome to episode 152 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you, us, that we can live joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, lives.   Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!   What is today’s show about? Father’s Day Thank you Patreon contributors: I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors.  Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much!      If you are not yet a Patron, visit <a href="http://patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice</a> to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you!   If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at <a href="mailto:booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com">booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com</a>.  Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you! <a href="https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice</a> Questions or comments? Contact me at: Email: <a href="mailto:Info@civillamorgan.com">Info@civillamorgan.com</a>                                                Or Visit the website at <a href="http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.childlessnotbychoice.net</a>, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail. Body of episode: It may be a little ironic, or maybe not, but I have not created a fresh June episode because I am caring for my dad. Many of you have heard bits and pieces in previous episodes, that I am his primary caregiver. And it is an honor. The last few months, as in since about the end of February, he has battled on through multiple medical issues. And I have battled to advocate for him.  Unfortunately, advocating feels like an uphill battle.  It sometimes feels like the medical community wants to dictate how I should not care for my father because they know best, even if they just see him as another elderly person.  There were several times when I thought ‘This is it, he’s not going to make it.’ But he continues to be with us. I cherish and thank God for every single day, every minute, I get with him.  Being a caregiver who works,  means that I am on the run from the moment my eyes open in the morning, until bedtime. I do my very best to get at least seven hours, otherwise, there would just be no way to maintain my schedule. No. Way.  Bottom line, sleep keeps me from falling apart.  I want to thank you for your patience as I navigate my life as it currently is, and my podcasting schedule. Not to pat myself on the back, but because I do take this podcast so seriously, the research, the guests, the everything; being able to go back and ask you to listen to a previous episode, which is what I am asking you to do this month; does not feel like a cop-out.  I have had the great privilege of having fabulous guests throughout the life of this podcast. The episode 143 guest, Dr. Robin Hadley, is no different. Episode 143 first aired in August of 2022. Please take a listen.  Thank you!   Articles/links of interest: <a href="https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-143-the-things-men-talk-about-my-conversation-with-dr-robin-hadley/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-143-the-things-men-talk-about-my-conversation-with-dr-robin-hadley/</a> <a href="https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-130-about-fathers-day-and-childlessness/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-130-about-fathers-day-and-childlessness/</a> Special thank you to: Dr. Robin Hadley My contact information: Website: <a href="http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.childlessnotbychoice.net</a> and <a href="http://www.civillamorgan.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.civillamorgan.com</a> Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan Twitter: @civilla1 Instagram: @joyandrelevance Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM <a href="https://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice </a>‘To recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.’ ‘Spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life’. Survey: <a href="https://bit.ly/2TSMuDV" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://bit.ly/2TSMuDV</a>

Episode 152--Father's Day, Again

Without an Anchor on Mother's Day  Hello, and welcome to episode 151 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you, us, that we can live joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, lives.   Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!     What is today’s show about? Mother’s Day and Childlessness But first: Are you following the Childless not by Choice podcast? This podcast, my podcast? It’s really easy to do and costs nothing. Simply go to Apple podcast, search for Childless not by Choice podcast, and follow. As soon as a new episode comes out, you are notified. As a follower, you get the new episode about a week before I start promoting it on social media.  Also, if you are a patron of the show, meaning you make a financial contribution to the show, more on that in a second, you get to be in the know first, whenever something new is happening!    Thank you Patreon contributors: I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors.  Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much!      If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you!   If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com.  Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you! https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice   Questions or comments? Contact me at:   Email: Info@civillamorgan.com                                                   Or   Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen, and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.   Body of episode: This is year four since my mom left this world. I hear tell year three is the worst year of grieving a loss. Does that make year four and beyond, are more manageable? Maybe, but one of the important lessons I learned along the grieving journey, is that people grieve differently.  I’m glad I learned that early because I would have been upset at certain people that did not seem to grieve the way I was grieving. I also realized that my grief wasn’t necessarily more important, it was just different. And different can happen for many reasons. It can happen if you were the last person to see that person alive, or you were the primary caregiver. It does not mean that the people who were not there or who were not the primary caregiver are not grieving. It just means that people will grieve differently. That, again, was a very, very important lesson to learn, because I know I would have been upset if I did not get that understanding early.  So, does year four and beyond bring lesser grief? I don’t think so. I think grief just becomes more manageable with time. That’s it. I find that I smile more when talking about my mom now. I was told that would happen, but I did not believe it! My mom had jokes. She loved to laugh. I am convinced she would have loved Tik Tok. I’ve mentioned this in the past, but she even got jokes out of the evening news. Go figure!  Sometimes I think about the jokes she told over and over, about her childhood. There are inside jokes I will take with me to my grave. There are things she made me promise not to tell. Mostly benign things to be honest. But I will honor her memory by keeping my promises to her.  No matter how young or old you are when you lose your mother, it doesn’t matter, in my opinion. Your mother is your anchor. When you lose her, you lose your anchor, at least temporarily. That was something else I learned early in my grief journey. I couldn’t figure out the feeling I had. I felt lost, and it was scary. Then someone mentioned that she felt anchorless after losing her mother. I remembered thinking, ‘That’s it! That’s the feeling I had, but did not understand.’   It’s so important, at least for me, to listen to other people’s grief journey. It doesn’t mean mine will be the exact journey, it just means I can glean something, and I have. A lot. I have heard some women say things like ‘It’s been 20 years since I lost my mom, and I still miss her so much!’ I was like What?! I can’t feel like this for 20 years!  But now, four years in, I realize what they mean. It’s still early days for me, but I can see how you can miss someone forever but still be able to manage life even as you manage loss.  If you do not or did not get along with your mother, if she did not care for you like a mother should, or the way you needed her to, I believe you can feel anchorless as well. I believe it is definitely a type of loss. And I’m sorry for your loss. I hope and pray for you, a peace that passes all understanding as you continue on your life’s journey. Is there a convergence at a certain point in life as we continue on our childless not by choice journey, where the two types of grief: the loss of a mother and childlessness, converge? I think maybe yes. For me, off and on I’ve felt a little off-kilter because there is no one to look back to for guidance, comfort, or commiseration, which is what I got from my mom. And no one to look forward to, in a child, to see what’s going on in the next generation. The only real connection I have to the next generation would be the young people in my life, mainly my nephews. I get a little snippet of what the next generation is dealing with, managing, and experiencing, by watching little snippets of their lives. I’m a little out of touch with the current music and other trends because, I believe, I don’t have kids. Although honestly, I don’t think anything beats 80’s music!  If you have younger nieces and nephews whose lives you are allowed/able to be a part of, create a relationship with them. It’s easier when they are younger of course, but no matter when it is, start if you haven't already, make a genuine attempt.  Even if it’s a card every once in a while, a gift card to their favorite place on their birthday, going to a game when you can, you know. Something that shows them you care. You can do all of that without being pushy. Let me know how it works, or if you need any tips. I am so honored to be a part of my nephew's lives. I hope you can have the same or similar experiences. Well,  before I leave you, let me give you some reminders:   Mother’s Day is a day of recognition.  There are many fabulous moms, step-moms, foster moms, grandmothers who are taking the place of moms, aunt-moms, you name it, there are some fabulous women out there doing fabulous things to raise fabulous kids, which in turn keeps society together. Because without them, there would be societal mayhem. If you think things are bad now…if you are one of these people I just listed, thank you!   If you are childless not by choice, remember that you are worthy. We are worthy. With or without the recognition on Mother’s Day, we are worthy! If we are alive we have a role to play in this world. Never let anyone allow you to feel less than.   Practice mental health. If it means staying off of social media, do that. If it means skipping a ‘Mother’s Day luncheon’, skip it. If you recall from earlier episodes, I had stopped going to church on Mother’s Day after my mom passed. I only went to honor her. If there was a luncheon, I went to honor her. Now that she’s gone, I skip church on Mother’s Day. Practice mental health. Whatever that is for you. And don’t let anyone try to guilt you into doing anything you prefer not to do.   Create and maintain those firm but kind boundaries I talk about all the time, so that number three becomes easier to do. It will, I promise.    Do you recall from episode 150 where I mentioned that most childless not by choice listeners probably have had or will have some type of surgery? Well, I asked the question in the Childless not by Choice with Civilla Morgan Facebook page, and I got a number of responses!   Feel free to email me at civilla@civillamorgan.com Messenger me on Facebook or Instagram, and let me know. I will keep the poll open for a while longer, and share the statistics on a later episode. You all know I love statistics!   #youdonthaveto   Special thank you to: ‘Mareshah Miller, for this quote: ‘Mothers in disguise are called aunts.’    My contact information:  Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.com Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan Twitter: @civilla1 Instagram: @joyandrelevance Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM https://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice   If you would like to become a one-time or ongoing sponsor, or if you would like to advertise your business or an upcoming event, contact me at info@civillamorgan.com for details.    Remember, subscription to the podcast is free. Simply go to Apple Podcast, Stitcher Radio, Spotify, Overcast, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Search for Childless not by Choice, and hit the subscribe button. It’s that easy!   Well, thank you for listening to this episode of Childless not by Choice! Until next time! Bye! ‘To recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.’ ‘Spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life’. Survey: https://bit.ly/2TSMuDV

Without an Anchor on Mother's Day Hello, and welcome to episode 151 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you, us, that we can live joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, lives.   Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!   What is today’s show about? Mother’s Day and Childlessness But first: Are you following the Childless not by Choice podcast? This podcast, my podcast? It’s really easy to do and costs nothing. Simply go to Apple podcast, search for Childless not by Choice podcast, and follow. As soon as a new episode comes out, you are notified. As a follower, you get the new episode about a week before I start promoting it on social media.  Also, if you are a patron of the show, meaning you make a financial contribution to the show, more on that in a second, you get to be in the know first, whenever something new is happening!  Thank you Patreon contributors: I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors.  Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much!      If you are not yet a Patron, visit <a href="http://patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice</a> to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you!   If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at <a href="mailto:booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com">booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com</a>.  Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you! <a href="https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice</a> Questions or comments? Contact me at: Email: <a href="mailto:Info@civillamorgan.com">Info@civillamorgan.com</a>                                                Or Visit the website at <a href="http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.childlessnotbychoice.net</a>, look to the left on the home screen, and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail. Body of episode: This is year four since my mom left this world. I hear tell year three is the worst year of grieving a loss. Does that make year four and beyond, are more manageable? Maybe, but one of the important lessons I learned along the grieving journey, is that people grieve differently.  I’m glad I learned that early because I would have been upset at certain people that did not seem to grieve the way I was grieving. I also realized that my grief wasn’t necessarily more important, it was just different. And different can happen for many reasons. It can happen if you were the last person to see that person alive, or you were the primary caregiver. It does not mean that the people who were not there or who were not the primary caregiver are not grieving. It just means that people will grieve differently. That, again, was a very, very important lesson to learn, because I know I would have been upset if I did not get that understanding early.  So, does year four and beyond bring lesser grief? I don’t think so. I think grief just becomes more manageable with time. That’s it. I find that I smile more when talking about my mom now. I was told that would happen, but I did not believe it! My mom had jokes. She loved to laugh. I am convinced she would have loved Tik Tok. I’ve mentioned this in the past, but she even got jokes out of the evening news. Go figure!  Sometimes I think about the jokes she told over and over, about her childhood. There are inside jokes I will take with me to my grave. There are things she made me promise not to tell. Mostly benign things to be honest. But I will honor her memory by keeping my promises to her.  No matter how young or old you are when you lose your mother, it doesn’t matter, in my opinion. Your mother is your anchor. When you lose her, you lose your anchor, at least temporarily. That was something else I learned early in my grief journey. I couldn’t figure out the feeling I had. I felt lost, and it was scary. Then someone mentioned that she felt anchorless after losing her mother. I remembered thinking, ‘That’s it! That’s the feeling I had, but did not understand.’   It’s so important, at least for me, to listen to other people’s grief journey. It doesn’t mean mine will be the exact journey, it just means I can glean something, and I have. A lot. I have heard some women say things like ‘It’s been 20 years since I lost my mom, and I still miss her so much!’ I was like What?! I can’t feel like this for 20 years!  But now, four years in, I realize what they mean. It’s still early days for me, but I can see how you can miss someone forever but still be able to manage life even as you manage loss.  If you do not or did not get along with your mother, if she did not care for you like a mother should, or the way you needed her to, I believe you can feel anchorless as well. I believe it is definitely a type of loss. And I’m sorry for your loss. I hope and pray for you, a peace that passes all understanding as you continue on your life’s journey. Is there a convergence at a certain point in life as we continue on our childless not by choice journey, where the two types of grief: the loss of a mother and childlessness, converge? I think maybe yes. For me, off and on I’ve felt a little off-kilter because there is no one to look back to for guidance, comfort, or commiseration, which is what I got from my mom. And no one to look forward to, in a child, to see what’s going on in the next generation. The only real connection I have to the next generation would be the young people in my life, mainly my nephews. I get a little snippet of what the next generation is dealing with, managing, and experiencing, by watching little snippets of their lives. I’m a little out of touch with the current music and other trends because, I believe, I don’t have kids. Although honestly, I don’t think anything beats 80’s music!  If you have younger nieces and nephews whose lives you are allowed/able to be a part of, create a relationship with them. It’s easier when they are younger of course, but no matter when it is, start if you haven't already, make a genuine attempt.  Even if it’s a card every once in a while, a gift card to their favorite place on their birthday, going to a game when you can, you know. Something that shows them you care. You can do all of that without being pushy. Let me know how it works, or if you need any tips. I am so honored to be a part of my nephew's lives. I hope you can have the same or similar experiences. Well,  before I leave you, let me give you some reminders: <ol> <li> Mother’s Day is a day of recognition.  There are many fabulous moms, step-moms, foster moms, grandmothers who are taking the place of moms, aunt-moms, you name it, there are some fabulous women out there doing fabulous things to raise fabulous kids, which in turn keeps society together. Because without them, there would be societal mayhem. If you think things are bad now…if you are one of these people I just listed, thank you! </li> <li> If you are childless not by choice, remember that you are worthy. We are worthy. With or without the recognition on Mother’s Day, we are worthy! If we are alive we have a role to play in this world. Never let anyone allow you to feel less than. </li> <li> Practice mental health. If it means staying off of social media, do that. If it means skipping a ‘Mother’s Day luncheon’, skip it. If you recall from earlier episodes, I had stopped going to church on Mother’s Day after my mom passed. I only went to honor her. If there was a luncheon, I went to honor her. Now that she’s gone, I skip church on Mother’s Day. Practice mental health. Whatever that is for you. And don’t let anyone try to guilt you into doing anything you prefer not to do. </li> <li> Create and maintain those firm but kind boundaries I talk about all the time, so that number three becomes easier to do. It will, I promise.  </li> </ol> Do you recall from episode 150 where I mentioned that most childless not by choice listeners probably have had or will have some type of surgery? Well, I asked the question in the Childless not by Choice with Civilla Morgan Facebook page, and I got a number of responses!   Feel free to email me at <a href="mailto:civilla@civillaorgan.com">civilla@civillamorgan.com</a> Messenger me on Facebook or Instagram, and let me know. I will keep the poll open for a while longer, and share the statistics on a later episode. You all know I love statistics! #youdonthaveto  Special thank you to: ‘Mareshah Miller, for this quote: ‘Mothers in disguise are called aunts.’  My contact information: Website: <a href="http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.childlessnotbychoice.net</a> and <a href="http://www.civillamorgan.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.civillamorgan.com</a> Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan Twitter: @civilla1 Instagram: @joyandrelevance Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM <a href="https://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice </a>If you would like to become a one-time or ongoing sponsor, or if you would like to advertise your business or an upcoming event, contact me at <a href="mailto:info@civillamorgan.com">info@civillamorgan.com</a> for details.  Remember, subscription to the podcast is free. Simply go to Apple Podcast, Stitcher Radio, Spotify, Overcast, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Search for Childless not by Choice, and hit the subscribe button. It’s that easy!  Well, thank you for listening to this episode of Childless not by Choice! Until next time! Bye! ‘To recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.’ ‘Spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life’. Survey: <a href="https://bit.ly/2TSMuDV" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://bit.ly/2TSMuDV</a>

Episode 151--Without an Anchor on Mother's Day

Intro:  Hello, and welcome to episode 150 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you, us, that we can live joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, lives.   Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!     What is today’s show about? Scar Tissue   Thank you Patreon contributors: I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors.    Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much!        If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you!   If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com.  Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you! https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice   Questions or comments? Contact me at:   Email: Info@civillamorgan.com                                                   Or   Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen, and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.  Body of episode:   Talk about what put me in the hospital for four days in early March.    So, on March 3rd I found myself in the worst belly pain I have ever had. The pain felt very similar to a pain I had the year before, but the pain had gone away by the next day. This time, it wasn’t going away. By the next day, I made the decision to go to the emergency room. I told them what was going on with this immense pain in my stomach, and they took an MRI of my belly. The test results came back: partially blocked intestines. I was like what?! What does that even mean? It turns out that what was causing the partial blockage was scar tissue.  I asked then scar tissue from what!? My last surgery for anything was in 2011! I was told it did not matter how long ago the surgery was, scar tissue can come back to haunt you at any time. The whole thing sounded out of this world. Unbelievable.  For a fleeting moment, I thought about how all those surgeries I had for a decade, as I tried to buy time. Should I have had the hysterectomy earlier? I should have skipped all of the myomectomies. But the fact is looking back is a waste of time. It doesn’t change anything.  I guess the medical staff was used to this because immediately they gave me a concoction to coat my stomach and quell the pain. They also offered some very strong pain medication, but I declined it as I wanted to be alert and aware. I had gone to the emergency room alone, and my dad had recently been put into rehab. I wanted to be coherent for any possible phone call from the rehab center as he had been there less than a week.       Talk about the statistics for childless women over 50.   So, according to Statista, a statistics company, 15.4% of women over 50 are childless. Why am I mentioning this, because well, I’m, um, a certain age? Ok, I’m in that age group.  OK, but I’m talking about this because as I mentioned earlier when I got the MRI results that I had a partially blocked intestines, the first things that started to come to my mind were ‘I should have had the hysterectomy earlier’, ‘I should not have waited an entire decade’, ‘why did I try to buy time?’ All of these questions! Until I made myself stop! Questioning, second-guessing, none of that would change anything now.        Discuss how not to get scar tissue   I have an article on the website www.childlessnotbychoice.net about post-operation behavior to help you heal better and avoid scar tissue. Link in the show notes  I knew that avoiding scar tissue was and is very important. I thought I had done everything I could to avoid scar tissue, but I guess not!     Discuss stress, adhesions, and scar tissue   I was told that this type of issue, pain, is typically brought on by stress. And yes, I have been under a lot of stress the last few months. I have been trying to figure out how stress could bring this on. This isn’t my first bout with stress since my last surgery in 2011. But maybe it is a combination of high stress and just plain getting older.   Research links:  https://www.statista.com/statistics/241535/percentage-of-childless-women-in-the-us-by-age/  https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2010/06/25/childlessness-up-among-all-women-down-among-women-with-advanced-degrees/  Articles/links of interest:  https://kashmirobserver.net/2023/03/17/finding-hope-and-happiness-beyond-childlessness/?unapproved=45353&amp;moderation-hash=17d1478d87afd99cead8a3fcc981ecba#comment-45353   Special thank you to: The hospital staff that cared for me during my four-day stay.    My contact information:  Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.com Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan Twitter: @civilla1 Instagram: @joyandrelevance Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM https://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice   If you would like to become a one-time or ongoing sponsor, or if you would like to advertise your business or an upcoming event, contact me at info@civillamorgan.com for details.    Remember, subscription to the podcast is free. Simply go to Apple Podcast, Stitcher Radio, Spotify, Overcast, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Search for Childless not by Choice, and hit the subscribe button. It’s that easy! 

Intro: Hello, and welcome to episode 150 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you, us, that we can live joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, lives.   Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!   What is today’s show about? Scar Tissue Thank you Patreon contributors: I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors.  Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much!      If you are not yet a Patron, visit <a href="http://patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice</a> to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you!   If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at <a href="mailto:booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com">booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com</a>.  Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you! <a href="https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice</a> Questions or comments? Contact me at: Email: <a href="mailto:Info@civillamorgan.com">Info@civillamorgan.com</a>                                                Or Visit the website at <a href="http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.childlessnotbychoice.net</a>, look to the left on the home screen, and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail. Body of episode: <ol> <li> Talk about what put me in the hospital for four days in early March.  </li> </ol> So, on March 3rd I found myself in the worst belly pain I have ever had. The pain felt very similar to a pain I had the year before, but the pain had gone away by the next day. This time, it wasn’t going away. By the next day, I made the decision to go to the emergency room. I told them what was going on with this immense pain in my stomach, and they took an MRI of my belly. The test results came back: partially blocked intestines. I was like what?! What does that even mean? It turns out that what was causing the partial blockage was scar tissue.  I asked then scar tissue from what!? My last surgery for anything was in 2011! I was told it did not matter how long ago the surgery was, scar tissue can come back to haunt you at any time. The whole thing sounded out of this world. Unbelievable.  For a fleeting moment, I thought about how all those surgeries I had for a decade, as I tried to buy time. Should I have had the hysterectomy earlier? I should have skipped all of the myomectomies. But the fact is looking back is a waste of time. It doesn’t change anything.  I guess the medical staff was used to this because immediately they gave me a concoction to coat my stomach and quell the pain. They also offered some very strong pain medication, but I declined it as I wanted to be alert and aware. I had gone to the emergency room alone, and my dad had recently been put into rehab. I wanted to be coherent for any possible phone call from the rehab center as he had been there less than a week.   <ol> <li> Talk about the statistics for childless women over 50. </li> </ol> So, according to Statista, a statistics company, 15.4% of women over 50 are childless. Why am I mentioning this, because well, I’m, um, a certain age? Ok, I’m in that age group.  OK, but I’m talking about this because as I mentioned earlier when I got the MRI results that I had a partially blocked intestines, the first things that started to come to my mind were ‘I should have had the hysterectomy earlier’, ‘I should not have waited an entire decade’, ‘why did I try to buy time?’ All of these questions! Until I made myself stop! Questioning, second-guessing, none of that would change anything now.    <ol> <li> Discuss how not to get scar tissue </li> </ol> I have an article on the website <a href="http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.childlessnotbychoice.net</a> about post-operation behavior to help you heal better and avoid scar tissue. Link in the show notes I knew that avoiding scar tissue was and is very important. I thought I had done everything I could to avoid scar tissue, but I guess not!  <ol> <li> Discuss stress, adhesions, and scar tissue </li> </ol> I was told that this type of issue, pain, is typically brought on by stress. And yes, I have been under a lot of stress the last few months. I have been trying to figure out how stress could bring this on. This isn’t my first bout with stress since my last surgery in 2011. But maybe it is a combination of high stress and just plain getting older.  Research links: <a href="https://www.statista.com/statistics/241535/percentage-of-childless-women-in-the-us-by-age/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> https://www.statista.com/statistics/241535/percentage-of-childless-women-in-the-us-by-age/</a> <a href="https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2010/06/25/childlessness-up-among-all-women-down-among-women-with-advanced-degrees/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2010/06/25/childlessness-up-among-all-women-down-among-women-with-advanced-degrees/</a> Articles/links of interest: <a href="https://kashmirobserver.net/2023/03/17/finding-hope-and-happiness-beyond-childlessness/?unapproved=45353&amp;moderation-hash=17d1478d87afd99cead8a3fcc981ecba#comment-45353" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> https://kashmirobserver.net/2023/03/17/finding-hope-and-happiness-beyond-childlessness/?unapproved=45353&amp;moderation-hash=17d1478d87afd99cead8a3fcc981ecba#comment-45353</a> Special thank you to: The hospital staff that cared for me during my four-day stay.  My contact information: Website: <a href="http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.childlessnotbychoice.net</a> and <a href="http://www.civillamorgan.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.civillamorgan.com</a> Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan Twitter: @civilla1 Instagram: @joyandrelevance Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM <a href="https://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice </a>If you would like to become a one-time or ongoing sponsor, or if you would like to advertise your business or an upcoming event, contact me at <a href="mailto:info@civillamorgan.com">info@civillamorgan.com</a> for details.  Remember, subscription to the podcast is free. Simply go to Apple Podcast, Stitcher Radio, Spotify, Overcast, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Search for Childless not by Choice, and hit the subscribe button. It’s that easy!

Episode 150-What Manner of Scar Tissue Mayhem is This!

Hello, and welcome to episode 149 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you, us, that we can live joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, lives.   Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!     What is today’s show about? International Women’s Month NOTE: I called it International Women’s History Month on the podcast. That’s OK, right?   Thank you Patreon contributors: I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors.  Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much!      If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you!   If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com.  Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you! https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice   Questions or comments? Contact me at:   Email: Info@civillamorgan.com                                                  Or   Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.   Body of episode: So March is International Women’s History Month. There is so much that can be said about how far we as women have come, and how far we have yet to go. I guess it is like any other so-called minority. There is yet work to be done. And we cannot afford to rest. But we can stop to celebrate every once in a while.  Celebration gives us hope for the future, highlights those who have come before us, and those we see as the future. I thought about highlighting women who have worked to make life better for all women whether nationally here in the US, or internationally. Either way, their work helps us in every corner of the globe. But I’ve done that. It took two episodes to do it too. That’s how many fabulous childless not by choice women there have been, and are. The links are in the show notes for episodes 78 and 79–Childless not by Choice Women Who Changed The World! But there are two women I have watched and admired for years, and who honestly, let me put the word out, I would love on my podcast!  I have admired them for their class and grace in the face of a world that can be really harsh toward women who never had children.  And may I remind you, I talk about the childless not by choice. That is what this podcast has always been about, but if a woman decides she would rather not have children, it is not society’s business. It is her business. Why can’t we mind our own business?   Calling a woman a crazy cat lady because she never had children, says more about the name-caller than it does about the woman. I mean, we don’t typically get to know the real reason a woman never had children unless you listen to a podcast like mine. And I doubt name-callers have the time to actually do the research before calling people names and deriding them. Us.     Anyway:           Tracee Ellis Ross…    Tracee Ellis Ross is the daughter of Legend Diana Ross. She recently talked about not having children, and about going through perimenopause, saying 'I Can Feel My Body's Ability To Make A Child Draining Out Of Me’. Woah! Never thought about it quite like that before! She never married, so I feel like I have at least two things in common with this legend in her own right.  There is a link in the show notes with the entire article. There are actually two links in the show notes with content about Tracee Ellis Ross. Please check them out. No one escapes the joys and sadnessess of life, and I’m sure she has her moments, but I love the way she shows up and does life with positivity, poise, and charm, no matter what.    https://afrotech.com/tracee-ellis-once-addressed-her-black-ish-pay-gap-publicly-i-wanted-to-be-compensated-in-a-way-that-matches-my-contribution?item=5  https://www.essence.com/lifestyle/tracee-ellis-ross-perimenopause/     Jennifer Anniston    In a February 2023 Marie Claire article, Jennifer Anniston talked about the way she used to feel about the rumor mongers and naysayers who knew nothing about her personal life, saying “I used to take it all very personally — the pregnancy rumors and the whole 'Oh, she chose career over kids' assumption,” she told the publication. “It’s like, ‘You have no clue what’s going with me personally, medically, why I can’t … can I have kids?’ They don’t know anything, and it was really hurtful and just nasty.” We really need to lift each other up as women and keep in mind that everyone has a story. And furthermore, we do not know everyone’s story. How could we? It always amazes me how absolute strangers believe they have the right to voice an opinion about another person’s life.  The link is in the show notes for the full article.  Please check that out as well!  https://www.marieclaire.com.au/jennifer-aniston-no-kids-career-comment  So, remember, no matter where on the planet you are, fabulous woman, childless woman, childfree woman, a woman with children; I am thinking of you, hoping for you praying for you, speaking up for you.  You are worthy. You are valued. You are here for a reason. Happy International Women’s month!   There are lots of research links in the show notes for this episode. One in particular that I found interesting because they discuss childlessness, childfree-ness, singleness, single and childess. I mean they discussed all the angles of childlessness. Check it out!     Research links: Articles/links of interest: https://womenshistorymonth.gov/    https://nationalwomenshistoryalliance.org/womens-history-month/womens-history-month-history/    https://ifstudies.org/blog/1-in-4-projecting-childlessness-among-todays-young-women    https://afrotech.com/tracee-ellis-once-addressed-her-black-ish-pay-gap-publicly-i-wanted-to-be-compensated-in-a-way-that-matches-my-contribution?item=5   Podcast links mentioned in the episode:  https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-79-part-two-11-childless-not-by-choice-women-who-changed-the-world/    https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-78-11-childless-not-choice-women-changed-world-part-one/    https://www.marieclaire.com.au/jennifer-aniston-no-kids-career-comment   Special thank you to: All the women in the world!    My contact information:  Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.com Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan Twitter: @civilla1 Instagram: @joyandrelevance Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM https://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice   If you would like to become a one-time or ongoing sponsor, or if you would like to advertise your business or an upcoming event, contact me at info@civillamorgan.com for details. 

Hello, and welcome to episode 149 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you, us, that we can live joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, lives.   Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!   What is today’s show about? International Women’s Month NOTE: I called it International Women’s History Month on the podcast. That’s OK, right? Thank you Patreon contributors: I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors.  Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much!      If you are not yet a Patron, visit <a href="http://patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice</a> to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you!   If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at <a href="mailto:booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com">booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com</a>.  Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you! <a href="https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice</a> Questions or comments? Contact me at: Email: <a href="mailto:Info@civillamorgan.com">Info@civillamorgan.com</a>                                                Or Visit the website at <a href="http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.childlessnotbychoice.net</a>, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail. Body of episode: So March is International Women’s History Month. There is so much that can be said about how far we as women have come, and how far we have yet to go. I guess it is like any other so-called minority. There is yet work to be done. And we cannot afford to rest. But we can stop to celebrate every once in a while.  Celebration gives us hope for the future, highlights those who have come before us, and those we see as the future. I thought about highlighting women who have worked to make life better for all women whether nationally here in the US, or internationally. Either way, their work helps us in every corner of the globe. But I’ve done that. It took two episodes to do it too. That’s how many fabulous childless not by choice women there have been, and are. The links are in the show notes for episodes 78 and 79–Childless not by Choice Women Who Changed The World! But there are two women I have watched and admired for years, and who honestly, let me put the word out, I would love on my podcast!  I have admired them for their class and grace in the face of a world that can be really harsh toward women who never had children.  And may I remind you, I talk about the childless not by choice. That is what this podcast has always been about, but if a woman decides she would rather not have children, it is not society’s business. It is her business. Why can’t we mind our own business?   Calling a woman a crazy cat lady because she never had children, says more about the name-caller than it does about the woman. I mean, we don’t typically get to know the real reason a woman never had children unless you listen to a podcast like mine. And I doubt name-callers have the time to actually do the research before calling people names and deriding them. Us.   Anyway:       <ul> <li> Tracee Ellis Ross…  </li> </ul> Tracee Ellis Ross is the daughter of Legend Diana Ross. She recently talked about not having children, and about going through perimenopause, saying 'I Can Feel My Body's Ability To Make A Child Draining Out Of Me’. Woah! Never thought about it quite like that before! She never married, so I feel like I have at least two things in common with this legend in her own right.  There is a link in the show notes with the entire article. There are actually two links in the show notes with content about Tracee Ellis Ross. Please check them out. No one escapes the joys and sadnessess of life, and I’m sure she has her moments, but I love the way she shows up and does life with positivity, poise, and charm, no matter what.  <a href="https://afrotech.com/tracee-ellis-once-addressed-her-black-ish-pay-gap-publicly-i-wanted-to-be-compensated-in-a-way-that-matches-my-contribution?item=5" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> https://afrotech.com/tracee-ellis-once-addressed-her-black-ish-pay-gap-publicly-i-wanted-to-be-compensated-in-a-way-that-matches-my-contribution?item=5</a> <a href="https://www.essence.com/lifestyle/tracee-ellis-ross-perimenopause/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> https://www.essence.com/lifestyle/tracee-ellis-ross-perimenopause/</a> <ul> <li> Jennifer Anniston  </li> </ul> In a February 2023 Marie Claire article, Jennifer Anniston talked about the way she used to feel about the rumor mongers and naysayers who knew nothing about her personal life, saying “I used to take it all very personally — the pregnancy rumors and the whole 'Oh, she chose career over kids' assumption,” she told the publication. “It’s like, ‘You have no clue what’s going with me personally, medically, why I can’t … can I have kids?’ They don’t know anything, and it was really hurtful and just nasty.” We really need to lift each other up as women and keep in mind that everyone has a story. And furthermore, we do not know everyone’s story. How could we? It always amazes me how absolute strangers believe they have the right to voice an opinion about another person’s life.  The link is in the show notes for the full article.  Please check that out as well! <a href="https://www.marieclaire.com.au/jennifer-aniston-no-kids-career-comment" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> https://www.marieclaire.com.au/jennifer-aniston-no-kids-career-comment</a> So, remember, no matter where on the planet you are, fabulous woman, childless woman, childfree woman, a woman with children; I am thinking of you, hoping for you praying for you, speaking up for you.  You are worthy. You are valued. You are here for a reason. Happy International Women’s month!   There are lots of research links in the show notes for this episode. One in particular that I found interesting because they discuss childlessness, childfree-ness, singleness, single and childess. I mean they discussed all the angles of childlessness. Check it out!   Research links: Articles/links of interest: <a href="https://womenshistorymonth.gov/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://womenshistorymonth.gov/</a> <a href="https://nationalwomenshistoryalliance.org/womens-history-month/womens-history-month-history/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> https://nationalwomenshistoryalliance.org/womens-history-month/womens-history-month-history/</a> <a href="https://ifstudies.org/blog/1-in-4-projecting-childlessness-among-todays-young-women" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> https://ifstudies.org/blog/1-in-4-projecting-childlessness-among-todays-young-women</a> <a href="https://afrotech.com/tracee-ellis-once-addressed-her-black-ish-pay-gap-publicly-i-wanted-to-be-compensated-in-a-way-that-matches-my-contribution?item=5" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> https://afrotech.com/tracee-ellis-once-addressed-her-black-ish-pay-gap-publicly-i-wanted-to-be-compensated-in-a-way-that-matches-my-contribution?item=5</a> Podcast links mentioned in the episode: <a href="https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-79-part-two-11-childless-not-by-choice-women-who-changed-the-world/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-79-part-two-11-childless-not-by-choice-women-who-changed-the-world/</a> <a href="https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-78-11-childless-not-choice-women-changed-world-part-one/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-78-11-childless-not-choice-women-changed-world-part-one/</a> <a href="https://www.marieclaire.com.au/jennifer-aniston-no-kids-career-comment" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> https://www.marieclaire.com.au/jennifer-aniston-no-kids-career-comment</a> Special thank you to: All the women in the world!  My contact information: Website: <a href="http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.childlessnotbychoice.net</a> and <a href="http://www.civillamorgan.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.civillamorgan.com</a> Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan Twitter: @civilla1 Instagram: @joyandrelevance Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM <a href="https://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice </a>If you would like to become a one-time or ongoing sponsor, or if you would like to advertise your business or an upcoming event, contact me at <a href="mailto:info@civillamorgan.com">info@civillamorgan.com</a> for details.

Episode 149--Celebrating Women's History Month

Hello, and welcome to episode 148 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you, us, that we can live joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, lives.   Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!     What is today’s show about? Beg, Plead, Bargain, Repeat!   Thank you Patreon contributors: I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors.    Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much!        If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you!   If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com.  Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you! https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice   Questions or comments? Contact me at:   Email: Info@civillamorgan.com                                                   Or   Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen, and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.   Body of episode: I begged, plead, and bargained with God for a family. I wanted at least one kid, a boy. It was always a boy. I even had a name picked out. You know, it is important not to tell people your business. It was so long ago so I don’t know  I don’t know why I mentioned the name out loud, but one day I did.  The first time I heard the name I felt an instant connection. I started researching the meaning, the definition and found it quite fitting for all I had been going through. The tons of fibroids, all of the myomectomies, the crying myself to sleep. The name reaps up painful memories of a challenging part of my journey.  Someone named one of her children that very name. It broke my heart. Honestly, I kinda felt somewhere deep down at that time, that I would not be having a child. But there was still a tiny window of hope. If that makes sense.   I worked at a certain company years ago where I recall all the young moms planning day trips to child-friendly locales. I wasn’t jealous, I thought it was beautiful. It was their way of getting their little people out of the house and getting themselves out of the house as well. All of these young women got along, so they wanted their kids to get along. Nothing wrong with that. But of course, I remained silent. I had nothing to contribute, even to say what a beautiful idea, could possibly make me a target.  I remained stoic, staring at my computer, as they all buzzed around me making their plans. I know some of you are in that part of the journey right now. And all I can tell you, as trite as it may sound, ‘this too shall pass’. It really will. And the other thing I will tell you is don’t pretend. Yes, it’s OK to smile through your day if that’s what you do, but please go to therapy.  At that point in my life, I had not gone to therapy yet. In fact, it was just before I went. Please go to therapy. Do nice things for yourself as often as you can during this time. Go to the beach, go to your favorite coffee shop, your favorite museum, or whatever makes you happy. And tell yourself every day, that you are worthy. You are not a second-class citizen. You are here for a reason. Remind yourself of all the good things about you, and work on whatever you need to work on to make yourself an even better human. That’s for you to know and to work on.  I am no longer dealing with children issues, I guess it’s grandchildren issues now. I mean it is never going to end, so the best thing we can do for ourselves is to belong to Community, the childless not by choice community. It has grown so much over the last few years. There is a place for you no matter where in the world you are.    You know, as I recall the times of crying myself to sleep, as I listened to my biological clock tick, tick, tick.  Begging God to answer my prayers, as things got progressively worse. And then the time came for me to have a hysterectomy. No answer. No response. Those are times that I look back on with a modicum of pain, but I am still here, so I believe my life events have strengthened me. In fact, empowered me. I know the same can be for you. Just hang in there no matter where in the journey you are.  That boy’s name. I won’t mention it. Maybe one day I will. But not today. It is a powerful name. You may try to figure it out. Be my guest. Hint: It’s not a person’s name, but it could be.  You know, I can say that my childless not by choice experience is based on this name. I got nothing out of my life that I expected or wanted. The life I wanted, expected, was somehow sacrificed. Yes, the name is very fitting.  I had to make the decision to push through. To not be bitter. To decide not to be bitter. It is an actual choice, a decision. It doesn’t just happen.    If you don’t make the decision, the results of life will make the decisions for you. And life’s choices, and decisions, are not usually good. We have to literally wash the lemons, cut them up, squeeze them into cold water, with some vanilla or lemon essence, and some sugar. YOu have to literally make the lemonade. Make the best of the life you have been given.   Before I let you go, I want to read this poem to you. I was searching for a notebook to take notes for a course I am taking. Knowing me I figured I had to have an unused notebook somewhere. I happily found the notebook I needed, and there was a folded piece of paper sticking out. It’s dated June of 2004.     Research links: 2004 poem I wrote and just found on the back of a notebook on Sunday, January 15, 2023: I don’t care how light or dark my baby is, I just want a baby. I just want him to be healthy. ‘Ten fingers, ten toes, two feet, two hands, and a nose! Two eyes, two ears; if it's a girl, enough hair for her bows. Dimples on her cheeks like grandma, or a dimple in the chin like me and grandpa. Kicking around when she has a pamper change, rolling over which starts her independence stage. A girly girl, or a boy full of energy; either one, it does not matter to me. I’ll take one of each at the same time, that would be a sight to see. Everyone loves twins you see, especially me! –Civilla (June 2004).         Episode quotes: ‘Do the best you can with what’s left of your heart.’-Civilla 'The journey does not end, the terrain changes.'-Civilla  Articles/links of interest:  https://www.yicaiglobal.com/news/one-tenth-of-chinese-women-are-childless-up-from-6-cpdrc-says    https://people.com/parents/chelsea-handler-explains-why-she-doesnt-want-kids/#:~:text=Chelsea%20Handler%20is%20ruling%20out,see%20children%20in%20her%20future.     My contact information:  Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.com Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan Twitter: @civilla1 Instagram: @joyandrelevance Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM https://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice  

Hello, and welcome to episode 148 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you, us, that we can live joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, lives.   Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!   What is today’s show about? Beg, Plead, Bargain, Repeat! Thank you Patreon contributors: I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors.  Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much!      If you are not yet a Patron, visit <a href="http://patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice</a> to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you!   If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at <a href="mailto:booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com">booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com</a>.  Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you! <a href="https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice</a> Questions or comments? Contact me at: Email: <a href="mailto:Info@civillamorgan.com">Info@civillamorgan.com</a>                                                Or Visit the website at <a href="http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.childlessnotbychoice.net</a>, look to the left on the home screen, and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail. Body of episode: I begged, plead, and bargained with God for a family. I wanted at least one kid, a boy. It was always a boy. I even had a name picked out. You know, it is important not to tell people your business. It was so long ago so I don’t know  I don’t know why I mentioned the name out loud, but one day I did.  The first time I heard the name I felt an instant connection. I started researching the meaning, the definition and found it quite fitting for all I had been going through. The tons of fibroids, all of the myomectomies, the crying myself to sleep. The name reaps up painful memories of a challenging part of my journey.  Someone named one of her children that very name. It broke my heart. Honestly, I kinda felt somewhere deep down at that time, that I would not be having a child. But there was still a tiny window of hope. If that makes sense.   I worked at a certain company years ago where I recall all the young moms planning day trips to child-friendly locales. I wasn’t jealous, I thought it was beautiful. It was their way of getting their little people out of the house and getting themselves out of the house as well. All of these young women got along, so they wanted their kids to get along. Nothing wrong with that. But of course, I remained silent. I had nothing to contribute, even to say what a beautiful idea, could possibly make me a target.  I remained stoic, staring at my computer, as they all buzzed around me making their plans. I know some of you are in that part of the journey right now. And all I can tell you, as trite as it may sound, ‘this too shall pass’. It really will. And the other thing I will tell you is don’t pretend. Yes, it’s OK to smile through your day if that’s what you do, but please go to therapy.  At that point in my life, I had not gone to therapy yet. In fact, it was just before I went. Please go to therapy. Do nice things for yourself as often as you can during this time. Go to the beach, go to your favorite coffee shop, your favorite museum, or whatever makes you happy. And tell yourself every day, that you are worthy. You are not a second-class citizen. You are here for a reason. Remind yourself of all the good things about you, and work on whatever you need to work on to make yourself an even better human. That’s for you to know and to work on.  I am no longer dealing with children issues, I guess it’s grandchildren issues now. I mean it is never going to end, so the best thing we can do for ourselves is to belong to Community, the childless not by choice community. It has grown so much over the last few years. There is a place for you no matter where in the world you are.    You know, as I recall the times of crying myself to sleep, as I listened to my biological clock tick, tick, tick.  Begging God to answer my prayers, as things got progressively worse. And then the time came for me to have a hysterectomy. No answer. No response. Those are times that I look back on with a modicum of pain, but I am still here, so I believe my life events have strengthened me. In fact, empowered me. I know the same can be for you. Just hang in there no matter where in the journey you are.  That boy’s name. I won’t mention it. Maybe one day I will. But not today. It is a powerful name. You may try to figure it out. Be my guest. Hint: It’s not a person’s name, but it could be.  You know, I can say that my childless not by choice experience is based on this name. I got nothing out of my life that I expected or wanted. The life I wanted, expected, was somehow sacrificed. Yes, the name is very fitting.  I had to make the decision to push through. To not be bitter. To decide not to be bitter. It is an actual choice, a decision. It doesn’t just happen.    If you don’t make the decision, the results of life will make the decisions for you. And life’s choices, and decisions, are not usually good. We have to literally wash the lemons, cut them up, squeeze them into cold water, with some vanilla or lemon essence, and some sugar. YOu have to literally make the lemonade. Make the best of the life you have been given.   Before I let you go, I want to read this poem to you. I was searching for a notebook to take notes for a course I am taking. Knowing me I figured I had to have an unused notebook somewhere. I happily found the notebook I needed, and there was a folded piece of paper sticking out. It’s dated June of 2004.   Research links: 2004 poem I wrote and just found on the back of a notebook on Sunday, January 15, 2023: I don’t care how light or dark my baby is, I just want a baby. I just want him to be healthy. ‘Ten fingers, ten toes, two feet, two hands, and a nose! Two eyes, two ears; if it's a girl, enough hair for her bows. Dimples on her cheeks like grandma, or a dimple in the chin like me and grandpa. Kicking around when she has a pamper change, rolling over which starts her independence stage. A girly girl, or a boy full of energy; either one, it does not matter to me. I’ll take one of each at the same time, that would be a sight to see. Everyone loves twins you see, especially me! –Civilla (June 2004).       Episode quotes: ‘Do the best you can with what’s left of your heart.’-Civilla 'The journey does not end, the terrain changes.'-Civilla  Articles/links of interest: <a href="https://www.yicaiglobal.com/news/one-tenth-of-chinese-women-are-childless-up-from-6-cpdrc-says" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> https://www.yicaiglobal.com/news/one-tenth-of-chinese-women-are-childless-up-from-6-cpdrc-says</a> <a href="https://people.com/parents/chelsea-handler-explains-why-she-doesnt-want-kids/#:~:text=Chelsea%20Handler%20is%20ruling%20out,see%20children%20in%20her%20future" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> https://people.com/parents/chelsea-handler-explains-why-she-doesnt-want-kids/#:~:text=Chelsea%20Handler%20is%20ruling%20out,see%20children%20in%20her%20future</a>. My contact information: Website: <a href="http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.childlessnotbychoice.net</a> and <a href="http://www.civillamorgan.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.civillamorgan.com</a> Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan Twitter: @civilla1 Instagram: @joyandrelevance Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM <a href="https://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice </a>

Episode 148--Beg, Plead, Bargain, Repeat!

Yvonne John

Intro:Hello, and welcome to episode 147 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you, us, that we can live joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, lives.   Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!   What is today’s show about? My conversation with Yvonne John–Author of Dreaming of a Life Unlived, Speaker, and advocate for the Childless not by Choice community.    But first…   Thank you Patreon contributors: I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors.    Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much!      If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you!   If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com.  Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you!  https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice Questions or comments? Contact me at:   Email: Info@civillamorgan.com                                                  Or   Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.   Body of episode: Today’s guest has visited us before. Tune into episode 103, link in the show notes to hear our first conversation. I Invited her back because she has done quite a bit since our last conversation. Check out her website, www.findingmyplanb.com, to see what I mean. And we will be talking about some of the things today. I can’t wait.   Hi Yvonne… Talk about the blogs on The Agojie People portrayed in The Woman King and the blog on Annie Turnbo Malone.  I actually went straight to the Annie Turnbo Malone post because, well there is a lot of history, most of it negative, unfortunately, about black hair. I did not know she developed and patented the straightening comb! Your blogs are very informative Yvonne!      Before we get started, can you tell us about the photo project you were a part of, and if there is a link or website we can go to?   Tell us about your role or contribution to The Gateway Women’s Reignite weekend workshops.  And you are training to be a therapist. Do you have a certain topic in mind will it be geared to childless not by choice? And Ted (Talk) tell us about Ted now that you’ve put the word out. I'll also be taking part in the WhittyGordon Projects 'Edge Of Visibility' Film - The film is about changing the narrative about women over 50 as being past it and recognising and shining light on strong women who are embracing the next phase of their lives in a way that is individual, creative and unapologetic. I know you said you would be doing a Talk at the Recovery College ‘Childlessness’ session about on Dealing with the Loss of Motherhood, is that done or is it upcoming?  Thank you for all you do in the childless not by choice community, and in particular for the women of color in the childless not by choice community. Any final words for the listeners before we go?    Yvonne’s Contact Information: https://findingmyplanb.com   Articles/links of interest: http://www.whittygordon.com/ Talk by Yvonne John at Melanie Stidolph’s solo exhibition ‘As it is seen.’ https://melaniestidolph.com/   Talk at the Recovery College ‘Childlessness’ session about/on Dealing with the Loss of Motherhood  Interview by  Lauren McMenemy from Minds@Work on being CNBC and how that impacts mental health at work Watch  Yvonne in conversation with  Lauren McMenemy  here:  https://youtu.be/--t1zrteCZY   My first conversation with Yvonne John:   https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-103-childlessness-is-not-an-illness-3/ Remember the conversation about the photographer at the beginning of the episode? Here’s the link to his website:  https://www.cephaswilliams.com/  Sarah Baartman images:  http://bit.ly/3VQNhR9   Triggers episode:  https://childlessnotbychoice.net/triggers-how-to-recognize-them-face-them-and-deal-with-them/ As mentioned in the episode, here is a link to information about David Richo:  https://davericho.com/books/ As mentioned in the episode, here is a link to information about Richard Rohr:   https://store.cac.org/collections/richard-rohr?_=pf&amp;display=list&amp;gclid=Cj0KCQiA45qdBhD-ARIsAOHbVdG-lzau4TsDX2DH-JKi_QHLI9trYICuGe6jd6QLAVir7gThA0JKAboaAr5eEALw_wcB  Quote: ‘If you do not share your story, you will show your story.’--Richard Rohr.  Special thank you to: Yvonne John My Patrons    My contact information:Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.comFacebook: booksbycivillamorganTwitter: @civilla1Instagram: @joyandrelevancePinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSMLinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSMhttps://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice

Intro:Hello, and welcome to episode 147 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you, us, that we can live joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, lives.   Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!   What is today’s show about? My conversation with Yvonne John–Author of Dreaming of a Life Unlived, Speaker, and advocate for the Childless not by Choice community.  But first… Thank you Patreon contributors: I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors.  Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much!      If you are not yet a Patron, visit <a href="http://patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice</a> to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you!   If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at <a href="mailto:booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com">booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com</a>.  Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you! <a href="https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice </a>Questions or comments? Contact me at: Email: <a href="mailto:Info@civillamorgan.com">Info@civillamorgan.com</a>                                                Or Visit the website at <a href="http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.childlessnotbychoice.net</a>, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail. Body of episode: Today’s guest has visited us before. Tune into episode 103, link in the show notes to hear our first conversation. I Invited her back because she has done quite a bit since our last conversation. Check out her website, <a href="http://www.findingmyplanb.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.findingmyplanb.com</a>, to see what I mean. And we will be talking about some of the things today. I can’t wait.   Hi Yvonne… Talk about the blogs on The Agojie People portrayed in The Woman King and the blog on Annie Turnbo Malone.  I actually went straight to the Annie Turnbo Malone post because, well there is a lot of history, most of it negative, unfortunately, about black hair. I did not know she developed and patented the straightening comb! Your blogs are very informative Yvonne!      Before we get started, can you tell us about the photo project you were a part of, and if there is a link or website we can go to? Tell us about your role or contribution to The Gateway Women’s Reignite weekend workshops.  And you are training to be a therapist. Do you have a certain topic in mind will it be geared to childless not by choice? And Ted (Talk) tell us about Ted now that you’ve put the word out. I'll also be taking part in the WhittyGordon Projects 'Edge Of Visibility' Film - The film is about changing the narrative about women over 50 as being past it and recognising and shining light on strong women who are embracing the next phase of their lives in a way that is individual, creative and unapologetic. I know you said you would be doing a Talk at the Recovery College ‘Childlessness’ session about on Dealing with the Loss of Motherhood, is that done or is it upcoming?  Thank you for all you do in the childless not by choice community, and in particular for the women of color in the childless not by choice community. Any final words for the listeners before we go?  Yvonne’s Contact Information: <a href="https://findingmyplanb.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://findingmyplanb.com</a> Articles/links of interest: <a href="http://www.whittygordon.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">http://www.whittygordon.com/</a> Talk by Yvonne John at Melanie Stidolph’s solo exhibition ‘As it is seen.’ <a href="https://melaniestidolph.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://melaniestidolph.com/</a> Talk at the Recovery College ‘Childlessness’ session about/on Dealing with the Loss of Motherhood  Interview by <a href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/ACoAAADXF90BtdtwT7VFyY-lEcTbxSqRjYF3Y4o" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> Lauren McMenemy</a> from Minds@Work on being CNBC and how that impacts mental health at work Watch <a href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/ACoAAA72tqQBO7D_6OSy7RD8AUp75H47HOhHEcc" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> Yvonne</a> in conversation with <a href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/ACoAAADXF90BtdtwT7VFyY-lEcTbxSqRjYF3Y4o" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> Lauren McMenemy</a>  here:  <a href="https://youtu.be/--t1zrteCZY" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://youtu.be/--t1zrteCZY</a> My first conversation with Yvonne John:  <a href="https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-103-childlessness-is-not-an-illness-3/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-103-childlessness-is-not-an-illness-3/</a> Remember the conversation about the photographer at the beginning of the episode? Here’s the link to his website:  <a href="https://www.cephaswilliams.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.cephaswilliams.com/</a>  Sarah Baartman images:  <a href="http://bit.ly/3VQNhR9" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">http://bit.ly/3VQNhR9</a> Triggers episode: <a href="https://childlessnotbychoice.net/triggers-how-to-recognize-them-face-them-and-deal-with-them/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> https://childlessnotbychoice.net/triggers-how-to-recognize-them-face-them-and-deal-with-them/</a> As mentioned in the episode, here is a link to information about David Richo:  <a href="https://davericho.com/books/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://davericho.com/books/</a> As mentioned in the episode, here is a link to information about Richard Rohr:  <a href="https://store.cac.org/collections/richard-rohr?_=pf&amp;display=list&amp;gclid=Cj0KCQiA45qdBhD-ARIsAOHbVdG-lzau4TsDX2DH-JKi_QHLI9trYICuGe6jd6QLAVir7gThA0JKAboaAr5eEALw_wcB" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> https://store.cac.org/collections/richard-rohr?_=pf&amp;display=list&amp;gclid=Cj0KCQiA45qdBhD-ARIsAOHbVdG-lzau4TsDX2DH-JKi_QHLI9trYICuGe6jd6QLAVir7gThA0JKAboaAr5eEALw_wcB</a> Quote: ‘If you do not share your story, you will show your story.’--Richard Rohr. Special thank you to: Yvonne John My Patrons  My contact information:Website: <a href="http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.childlessnotbychoice.net</a> and www.civillamorgan.comFacebook: booksbycivillamorganTwitter: @civilla1Instagram: @joyandrelevancePinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSMLinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM<a href="https://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice</a>

Episode 147--Race, Gender, (in) Equality, and Childlessness, my Conversation with Yvonne John

Hello, and welcome to episode 146 and one half— the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you, us, that we can live joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, lives.  Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!     What is today’s show about? Happy New Year!   https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice   Questions or comments? Contact me at:   Email: Info@civillamorgan.com                                                  Or   Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.     Body of episode:  Mention annual goals template  Consider becoming a patron–Patreon or PayPal  Episode 147–airs soon!       Articles/links of interest:    https://childlessnotbychoice.net/product/blueprint-for-your-goals-and-visions/    My contact information:Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.comFacebook: booksbycivillamorganTwitter: @civilla1Instagram: @joyandrelevancePinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSMLinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSMhttps://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice 

Hello, and welcome to episode 146 and one half— the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you, us, that we can live joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, lives.  Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!   What is today’s show about? Happy New Year! <a href="https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice</a> Questions or comments? Contact me at: Email: <a href="mailto:Info@civillamorgan.com">Info@civillamorgan.com</a>                                                Or Visit the website at <a href="http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.childlessnotbychoice.net</a>, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail. Body of episode: <ul> <li>Mention annual goals template </li> <li>Consider becoming a patron–Patreon or PayPal</li> <li> Episode 147–airs soon!   </li> </ul> Articles/links of interest: <a href="https://childlessnotbychoice.net/product/blueprint-for-your-goals-and-visions/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://childlessnotbychoice.net/product/blueprint-for-your-goals-and-visions/</a> My contact information:Website: <a href="http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.childlessnotbychoice.net</a> and www.civillamorgan.comFacebook: booksbycivillamorganTwitter: @civilla1Instagram: @joyandrelevancePinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSMLinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM<a href="https://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice </a>

Happy New Year 2023

Hello, and welcome to episode 146 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. This is the December 2022 episode. Our holiday episode! Thanks for stopping by! Well, the last two months the podcast has been on hiatus, and I am happy to be back! What is today’s show about? Childless not by choice during the holidays! Over the last few years, I have talked to us, reminded us, of how to be, how to do, as childless not by choice people during the holidays!   Thank you Patreon contributors: I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors.  Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much!      PLEASE CONSIDER BECOMING A PATREON PATRON THIS YEAR If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you!   If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com.  Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you!  https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice Questions or comments? Contact me at:   Email: Info@civillamorgan.com                                                  Or   Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.   Body of episode:    Thank you to the listeners from different countries.  A great big thank you to all of my listeners all over the world. From Australia to Tanzania, from China to Luxembourg, from Ghana to America. From India to Austria. You all are tuning in and listening! Thank you!   I continue to be humbled! I would also like to thank those who reached out to me via Messenger and email. I am so glad the podcast is helping you. Please keep listening!    Episodes coming up in 2023.  So, I am working on more great episodes for 2023! I feel like 2022 had a theme of health. We talked about food, diet, well-being, exercise, mental health, and all the things that strengthen us from the inside out. I did not plan a theme for 2023, but I feel like it will come together beautifully just like 2022.  In the meantime, sit with me for a few, and let’s talk.   The heart of the childless not by choice during the holidays.  I don’t know about you, but I can feel the feelings creeping in right around October. I start to feel un-holiday-ish. I tell myself that I will not celebrate this year. I’m just not up for all the pomp and circumstance of it all.  But as November rolls in, the month of Thanksgiving here in the U.S., I try to get myself in the mood. And the thing is, I love Christmas. It’s my favorite holiday. Thanksgiving gives me a chance to cook and bake. Christmas typically gives me a chance to catch up with family and friends. Getting into the festive mood takes work these last few years though. I had that childish anticipation all the way through adulthood. But it has dimmed, and I know that it is at least in part because my mom is gone. And we all have heard how the holidays can magnify loss. It’s true, they do magnify loss. If you are going through and dealing with the same feelings, don’t ignore them. Recognize them, admit them to yourself, and take them one day at a time. But don’t allow your feelings to dictate your decisions. That is one thing my dad told me years ago. Feelings change. So when you are making your decisions about how to spend your holidays, be intentional. Intentional: it is our keyword for this episode because intentionality is very important. And it is different from than intention. You see, we can intend to do something and never get around to it. But intentional means we are making decisions actively. We are actively involved in our decision-making and in our decisions. Sometimes we have to intentionally show up at the gatherings, sometimes it feels like we have no choice. We have elderly family members whom we do not know how many more family gatherings we will spend with them. And then at the other end of the spectrum, we have young family members with whom we would like to build a positive relationship.  But I have said this before, there is nothing wrong with making different plans once in a while. Life is short. It’s short for everyone.   The thing about making different plans for the holidays or any other time is that we have to then stand by them. We have to practice standing by our decision once we have made our plans. The way to stand by plans and decisions is to weigh those plans and decisions carefully. Weighing, deciding, and then standing.   I think we get better at weighing, deciding, and then standing as we mature.  You know life is filled with disappointments. And sometimes we may have wished we had made different decisions, but the fact is, no one is perfect.  All we can do is the best we can do.   We have to decide to make certain decisions about our lives. We don’t know how much time we have. Any of us.  So thinking about ourselves more does not mean we are selfish. Everyone is living their lives. Are they selfish for caring for their spouses, children, their work-life balance? They wouldn’t think so. I don’t think so.    It is definitely OK and healthy, to care for ourselves, to consider ourselves. To love ourselves. To speak kind words to ourselves, and practice makes perfect.            Here are five ways we can love, consider, and protect ourselves:     Look in the mirror every morning as you wash your face or put on your makeup, and smile at yourself. Say kind words to yourself, even when you have messed up. Never, never, never call yourself names, even in jest. Never.  Do not allow others to call you names, even in jest. If someone is calling you names and says they are joking, be aware. I realize some of you live in parts of the world where pushing back can be dangerous. If you are not able to push back on the name-calling or mistreatment, practice speaking silently to yourself and saying ‘I do not receive that.’ Do not allow negativity into your spirit, your heart, or your mind. You would be surprised to know how much unchecked negativity is affecting you. Do not receive it.  Do something kind for yourself on a regular basis. The women in my Facebook group know that I buy myself flowers on a regular basis. I work from home, so in the midst of all my office stuff, I get to glance over at my flowers every once in a while. They bring me a moment of joy as I work. Do something. It doesn’t have to be anything extravagant.     When the world, our world, realizes we have only good, positive intentions for ourselves, they will eventually come to realize that they are getting nowhere trying to get us to ‘come around'. That is why it is important for us to know ourselves, to respect ourselves, to be kind to ourselves.  If you don’t like and respect you, it will be difficult for others to like and respect you, even your own family members.  Consider this: if we are doing what everyone else wants us to do all the time, are we happy? Are we living our best, most joyful, and relevant lives? You know, I did not know what gaslighting was until just a few years ago. But once I found out about it, I realized there were times during my life when I had been gaslit! I am glad I can now recognize it for what it is, and can act accordingly. Acting accordingly when being gaslit means recognizing it when it is happening, trusting your gut that it is happening, and then standing firm in the love and protection you created for yourself. I put an article in the show notes that defines gaslighting, and explains how to recognize it. Check it out. It’s intriguing.  And no, I did not take a sudden left turn and changed the subject. Gaslighting can happen to anyone. But it I believe we are more susceptible when we are heartbroken, grieving, and unaware of how worthy we are.  We all as human beings have been through a lot these last few years.       We have suffered some form of loss, and then on top of that loss a pandemic. Some of us are still dealing with brain fog and other effects of COVID.  I am dealing with serious brain fog. But honestly, I don’t know if it is COVID  or being a woman of a certain age, or both. Either way lets practice those five things I mentioned earlier, especially as we head into a fresh new year. Let’s practice being intentional.    Closing: Be sure to check out the show notes. I put some links in this episode's show notes that I believe you will like. For instance, there is an article here on the definition and effects of gaslighting. There is a link to my Only One in the Room interview. It’s always cool to be interviewed! Thanks again to those who reached out to me during hiatus. You made my day!  Remember, be kind to yourself!    See you in January!   Articles/links of interest:  https://punchng.com/court-dissolves-14-year-marriage-over-childlessness/ Video interview of my guest appearance on The Only One In The Room Podcast:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QlD8pPwm88c   Article on the definition and the effects of gaslighting   https://www.ananiasfoundation.org/gaslighting/?gclid=Cj0KCQiA99ybBhD9ARIsALvZavVGy2VRJhIZTWHsOBEFyrsuskUlywx_TwnYtS_cVrsCjtF2qwWuh24aAgC0EALw_wcB   Episode quotes: Be intentional. Five things we can do to love, consider, and protect ourselves. Practice speaking silently to yourself…do not allow negativity into your heart and your mind. Say kind words to yourself.   Special thank you to: All of the wonderful listeners of the Childless not by Choice podcast!  All of the guests of the podcast! All of the wonderful patrons of the platform!    My contact information:Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.comFacebook: booksbycivillamorganTwitter: @civilla1Instagram: @joyandrelevancePinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSMLinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSMhttps://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice 

Hello, and welcome to episode 146 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. This is the December 2022 episode. Our holiday episode! Thanks for stopping by! Well, the last two months the podcast has been on hiatus, and I am happy to be back! What is today’s show about? Childless not by choice during the holidays! Over the last few years, I have talked to us, reminded us, of how to be, how to do, as childless not by choice people during the holidays! Thank you Patreon contributors: I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors.  Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much!      PLEASE CONSIDER BECOMING A PATREON PATRON THIS YEAR If you are not yet a Patron, visit <a href="http://patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice</a> to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you!   If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at <a href="mailto:booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com">booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com</a>.  Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you! <a href="https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice</a> Questions or comments? Contact me at: Email: <a href="mailto:Info@civillamorgan.com">Info@civillamorgan.com</a>                                                Or Visit the website at <a href="http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.childlessnotbychoice.net</a>, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail. Body of episode: <ul> <li>Thank you to the listeners from different countries.  A great big thank you to all of my listeners all over the world. From Australia to Tanzania, from China to Luxembourg, from Ghana to America. From India to Austria. You all are tuning in and listening! Thank you! </li> </ul> I continue to be humbled! I would also like to thank those who reached out to me via Messenger and email. I am so glad the podcast is helping you. Please keep listening! <ul> <li>Episodes coming up in 2023.</li> </ul> So, I am working on more great episodes for 2023! I feel like 2022 had a theme of health. We talked about food, diet, well-being, exercise, mental health, and all the things that strengthen us from the inside out. I did not plan a theme for 2023, but I feel like it will come together beautifully just like 2022.  In the meantime, sit with me for a few, and let’s talk.   The heart of the childless not by choice during the holidays.  I don’t know about you, but I can feel the feelings creeping in right around October. I start to feel un-holiday-ish. I tell myself that I will not celebrate this year. I’m just not up for all the pomp and circumstance of it all.  But as November rolls in, the month of Thanksgiving here in the U.S., I try to get myself in the mood. And the thing is, I love Christmas. It’s my favorite holiday. Thanksgiving gives me a chance to cook and bake. Christmas typically gives me a chance to catch up with family and friends. Getting into the festive mood takes work these last few years though. I had that childish anticipation all the way through adulthood. But it has dimmed, and I know that it is at least in part because my mom is gone. And we all have heard how the holidays can magnify loss. It’s true, they do magnify loss. If you are going through and dealing with the same feelings, don’t ignore them. Recognize them, admit them to yourself, and take them one day at a time. But don’t allow your feelings to dictate your decisions. That is one thing my dad told me years ago. Feelings change. So when you are making your decisions about how to spend your holidays, be intentional. Intentional: it is our keyword for this episode because intentionality is very important. And it is different from than intention. You see, we can intend to do something and never get around to it. But intentional means we are making decisions actively. We are actively involved in our decision-making and in our decisions. Sometimes we have to intentionally show up at the gatherings, sometimes it feels like we have no choice. We have elderly family members whom we do not know how many more family gatherings we will spend with them. And then at the other end of the spectrum, we have young family members with whom we would like to build a positive relationship.  But I have said this before, there is nothing wrong with making different plans once in a while. Life is short. It’s short for everyone.   The thing about making different plans for the holidays or any other time is that we have to then stand by them. We have to practice standing by our decision once we have made our plans. The way to stand by plans and decisions is to weigh those plans and decisions carefully. Weighing, deciding, and then standing.   I think we get better at weighing, deciding, and then standing as we mature.  You know life is filled with disappointments. And sometimes we may have wished we had made different decisions, but the fact is, no one is perfect.  All we can do is the best we can do.   We have to decide to make certain decisions about our lives. We don’t know how much time we have. Any of us.  So thinking about ourselves more does not mean we are selfish. Everyone is living their lives. Are they selfish for caring for their spouses, children, their work-life balance? They wouldn’t think so. I don’t think so.    It is definitely OK and healthy, to care for ourselves, to consider ourselves. To love ourselves. To speak kind words to ourselves, and practice makes perfect.          Here are five ways we can love, consider, and protect ourselves:    <ul> <li>Look in the mirror every morning as you wash your face or put on your makeup, and smile at yourself.</li> <li>Say kind words to yourself, even when you have messed up. Never, never, never call yourself names, even in jest. Never. </li> <li>Do not allow others to call you names, even in jest. If someone is calling you names and says they are joking, be aware.</li> <li>I realize some of you live in parts of the world where pushing back can be dangerous. If you are not able to push back on the name-calling or mistreatment, practice speaking silently to yourself and saying ‘I do not receive that.’ Do not allow negativity into your spirit, your heart, or your mind. You would be surprised to know how much unchecked negativity is affecting you. Do not receive it. </li> <li>Do something kind for yourself on a regular basis. The women in my Facebook group know that I buy myself flowers on a regular basis. I work from home, so in the midst of all my office stuff, I get to glance over at my flowers every once in a while. They bring me a moment of joy as I work. Do something. It doesn’t have to be anything extravagant.   </li> </ul> When the world, our world, realizes we have only good, positive intentions for ourselves, they will eventually come to realize that they are getting nowhere trying to get us to ‘come around'. That is why it is important for us to know ourselves, to respect ourselves, to be kind to ourselves.  If you don’t like and respect you, it will be difficult for others to like and respect you, even your own family members.  Consider this: if we are doing what everyone else wants us to do all the time, are we happy? Are we living our best, most joyful, and relevant lives? You know, I did not know what gaslighting was until just a few years ago. But once I found out about it, I realized there were times during my life when I had been gaslit! I am glad I can now recognize it for what it is, and can act accordingly. Acting accordingly when being gaslit means recognizing it when it is happening, trusting your gut that it is happening, and then standing firm in the love and protection you created for yourself. I put an article in the show notes that defines gaslighting, and explains how to recognize it. Check it out. It’s intriguing.  And no, I did not take a sudden left turn and changed the subject. Gaslighting can happen to anyone. But it I believe we are more susceptible when we are heartbroken, grieving, and unaware of how worthy we are.  We all as human beings have been through a lot these last few years.       We have suffered some form of loss, and then on top of that loss a pandemic. Some of us are still dealing with brain fog and other effects of COVID.  I am dealing with serious brain fog. But honestly, I don’t know if it is COVID  or being a woman of a certain age, or both. Either way lets practice those five things I mentioned earlier, especially as we head into a fresh new year. Let’s practice being intentional.  Closing: Be sure to check out the show notes. I put some links in this episode's show notes that I believe you will like. For instance, there is an article here on the definition and effects of gaslighting. There is a link to my Only One in the Room interview. It’s always cool to be interviewed! Thanks again to those who reached out to me during hiatus. You made my day!  Remember, be kind to yourself!  See you in January! Articles/links of interest: <a href="https://punchng.com/court-dissolves-14-year-marriage-over-childlessness/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> https://punchng.com/court-dissolves-14-year-marriage-over-childlessness/</a> Video interview of my guest appearance on The Only One In The Room Podcast:  <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QlD8pPwm88c" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QlD8pPwm88c</a> Article on the definition and the effects of gaslighting  <a href="https://www.ananiasfoundation.org/gaslighting/?gclid=Cj0KCQiA99ybBhD9ARIsALvZavVGy2VRJhIZTWHsOBEFyrsuskUlywx_TwnYtS_cVrsCjtF2qwWuh24aAgC0EALw_wcB" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.ananiasfoundation.org/gaslighting/?gclid=Cj0KCQiA99ybBhD9ARIsALvZavVGy2VRJhIZTWHsOBEFyrsuskUlywx_TwnYtS_cVrsCjtF2qwWuh24aAgC0EALw_wcB</a> Episode quotes: Be intentional. Five things we can do to love, consider, and protect ourselves. Practice speaking silently to yourself…do not allow negativity into your heart and your mind. Say kind words to yourself. Special thank you to: All of the wonderful listeners of the Childless not by Choice podcast!  All of the guests of the podcast! All of the wonderful patrons of the platform! My contact information:Website: <a href="http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.childlessnotbychoice.net</a> and www.civillamorgan.comFacebook: booksbycivillamorganTwitter: @civilla1Instagram: @joyandrelevancePinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSMLinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM<a href="https://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice </a>

Episode 146--The heart of the childless not by choice during the holidays

Hello! It’s me, Civilla! I wanted to stop by to let you know I am going on hiatus, returning in December with a fresh new episode.  While away, I will definitely be working. completing blogs I have not had much time to work on, planning 2023 episodes, and getting caught up on some much-needed rest! Speaking of 2023 episodes, if you follow me on Instagram at Joyandrelevance, you heard my open call for 2023 episodes. For details, visit my Instagram page for details. I pinned the video to the top. In a nutshell though, if you or someone you know might be interested in being interviewed for my Childless not by Choice podcast in 2023, reach out to me at civilla@civillamorgan.com.  PLEASE NOTE: you must be childless not by choice. In other words, never able to have the child or children you wanted. Once I receive your email, I will schedule a time with you via Calendly, for a pre-interview. This does not mean there will be a guaranteed interview. I will not be able to interview everyone I speak to. And please do not be upset or offended if I do not think we should follow through. I will always put my listeners first, and I will not air an episode I do not feel will help them on their childless not by choice journey. I appreciate your understanding. While I am away, please be sure to go back through the back catalog and listen to episodes you may have missed. Check out the website, and join one of the Facebook groups. The Childless not by Choice with Civilla Morgan Facebook group is for women only, who never had children. The Supporters of the Childless not by Choice Community Facebook with Civilla Morgan is for anyone. If you are on Instagram, feel free to follow me at joyandrelevance for more content on childless not by choice, and for pictures. I love pictures.   Speaking of pictures, I am also on Pinterest, at civilla1. I post the episodes there as well. And I have thousands of pictures of everything I’m interested in. So there. I LOVE pictures! In the meantime, in other news, I was honored to be a World Childless Week Champion for 2022. Click the link in the show notes to be taken to the World Childless Week website.  World Childless Week 2022 went from September 12th to the 18th, so by the time you hear this, it will be over. But it takes place every September. Please do check out their site, get some knowledge and info, and be ready for next year! It was truly an honor to be asked! Also, Michael Hughes of the Full Stop Pod podcast created a beautiful video of childless not by choice platform creators encouraging us all on this childless not by choice journey. Once it is available for public viewing I will let you know! Next, I have also added the link in the show notes for a recent podcast interview. I was interviewed on the Only One In The Room Podcast! It was so exciting and I can’t wait for you to hear it. The link is in the show notes. I really felt like with this interview I was telling the world about us! One more thing: if you would like to become a monthly patron of the podcast, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice.net. If you would like to make a one-time or every once in a while contribution, visit my Paypal account at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com. Every contribution, no matter how large or small, will go toward the podcast. In fact, I am thinking, after seven years of using the same equipment, of doing an upgrade. Changing my microphone and purchasing a new boom arm, to be exact. I have already purchased and am learning how to use an audio interface product. Thanks, Rob, my podcast producer, for your help.    So I have a story for you before I let you go. And I am telling you in the hopes it will encourage you as it did me:  On the day I am recording this episode, Hurricane Ian is headed straight at us. Every forecast says the entire state will be taking a hit. It is also a Sunday today.  My typical Sunday is to attend church online or in person. It’s what I have done every Sunday of my life unless I was sick. But with Ian headed our way, and having had to work all week, I had to order hurricane-type food curbside from my local grocery store yesterday.  Today I had to go top off my gas tank and then buy gas for our generator in case we lose power. But something I have never had to do before was to fill sandbags. I spent my Sunday morning buying gas and filling sandbags.  I will be honest, I was feeling pretty down. Much of the negative feelings came from the fact that I had lined up a lawn mowing company to mow our lawn, but he didn’t come through. The grass is high, if this storm comes through, there will be even more debris on top of the high grass.  I have no idea what is wrong with our lawn mower. So I sit here not knowing how or when our lawn will be mowed. Back to the sand pile: I got to the location where people were filling sandbags, backed up to a sand pile, and realized everyone had their own shovels.  I didn’t know you had to bring your own shovel. There were two women who had a shovel and a small bucket. They offered me their bucket. I was so thankful because it saved me a trip to the local box store as driving home was too far away.  I started filling sandbags and putting them in my trunk. Another vehicle pulled up with two men and a little girl, and they started shoveling. Suddenly one of the men said ‘why don’t you use one of my shovels instead of using that bucket?’ I thanked him profusely, handed the bucket back to the two ladies, thanked them; and continued to shovel.  I was trying to fill as many bags as I could because I knew I would have to give back the shovel when the men were leaving.  Several bags in, I heard when one of the men said to the little girl, ‘go ahead, ask her.’ Suddenly the little girl said, ‘ma’am would you like me to hold the back open so you can put the sand in?’ I told her how kind she was and thanked her for her help.  It looked like the men were finishing up. So I asked if they needed their shovel back. One of the men said ‘no, when we are finished we will help you with your bags.’  Whew, all of these people had no way of knowing how really low I had been feeling all morning! I feel like God knew how low I was feeling, and wanted to remind me that He is in the big things and the little things. He sent me to that sand pile.  If you ever feel like offering help to someone on this journey called life, do it. If they say no, it’s on them. You did your part. If they say yes, you can feel good in knowing you are helping to make this crazy world a better place for someone.             Here’s a quote from TobyMacSpeaks: ‘Some stranger somewhere remembers  you because you were kind to them.’  Well, you know how to reach me. Just remember to give me 24 to 48 hours to respond.  Remember, everything you need to know about this episode is in the show notes!    See you in December!     Links mentioned: World Childless Week  https://worldchildlessweek.net/events/2022/9/12/world-childless-week-2022   The Only One In The Room podcast interview  https://megaphone.link/LAV6430207146  https://cms.megaphone.fm/channel/LAV2696308372?selected=LAV6430207146   My contact information:Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.comFacebook: booksbycivillamorganTwitter: @civilla1Instagram: @joyandrelevancePinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSMLinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSMhttps://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice 

Hello! It’s me, Civilla! I wanted to stop by to let you know I am going on hiatus, returning in December with a fresh new episode.  While away, I will definitely be working. completing blogs I have not had much time to work on, planning 2023 episodes, and getting caught up on some much-needed rest! Speaking of 2023 episodes, if you follow me on Instagram at Joyandrelevance, you heard my open call for 2023 episodes. For details, visit my Instagram page for details. I pinned the video to the top. In a nutshell though, if you or someone you know might be interested in being interviewed for my Childless not by Choice podcast in 2023, reach out to me at <a href="mailto:civilla@civillamorgan.com">civilla@civillamorgan.com</a>.  PLEASE NOTE: you must be childless not by choice. In other words, never able to have the child or children you wanted. Once I receive your email, I will schedule a time with you via Calendly, for a pre-interview. This does not mean there will be a guaranteed interview. I will not be able to interview everyone I speak to. And please do not be upset or offended if I do not think we should follow through. I will always put my listeners first, and I will not air an episode I do not feel will help them on their childless not by choice journey. I appreciate your understanding. While I am away, please be sure to go back through the back catalog and listen to episodes you may have missed. Check out the website, and join one of the Facebook groups. The Childless not by Choice with Civilla Morgan Facebook group is for women only, who never had children. The Supporters of the Childless not by Choice Community Facebook with Civilla Morgan is for anyone. If you are on Instagram, feel free to follow me at joyandrelevance for more content on childless not by choice, and for pictures. I love pictures.   Speaking of pictures, I am also on Pinterest, at civilla1. I post the episodes there as well. And I have thousands of pictures of everything I’m interested in. So there. I LOVE pictures! In the meantime, in other news, I was honored to be a World Childless Week Champion for 2022. Click the link in the show notes to be taken to the World Childless Week website.  World Childless Week 2022 went from September 12th to the 18th, so by the time you hear this, it will be over. But it takes place every September. Please do check out their site, get some knowledge and info, and be ready for next year! It was truly an honor to be asked! Also, Michael Hughes of the Full Stop Pod podcast created a beautiful video of childless not by choice platform creators encouraging us all on this childless not by choice journey. Once it is available for public viewing I will let you know! Next, I have also added the link in the show notes for a recent podcast interview. I was interviewed on the Only One In The Room Podcast! It was so exciting and I can’t wait for you to hear it. The link is in the show notes. I really felt like with this interview I was telling the world about us! One more thing: if you would like to become a monthly patron of the podcast, visit <a href="http://patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice.net" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice.net</a>. If you would like to make a one-time or every once in a while contribution, visit my Paypal account at <a href="mailto:booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com">booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com</a>. Every contribution, no matter how large or small, will go toward the podcast. In fact, I am thinking, after seven years of using the same equipment, of doing an upgrade. Changing my microphone and purchasing a new boom arm, to be exact. I have already purchased and am learning how to use an audio interface product. Thanks, Rob, my podcast producer, for your help.    So I have a story for you before I let you go. And I am telling you in the hopes it will encourage you as it did me:  On the day I am recording this episode, Hurricane Ian is headed straight at us. Every forecast says the entire state will be taking a hit. It is also a Sunday today.  My typical Sunday is to attend church online or in person. It’s what I have done every Sunday of my life unless I was sick. But with Ian headed our way, and having had to work all week, I had to order hurricane-type food curbside from my local grocery store yesterday.  Today I had to go top off my gas tank and then buy gas for our generator in case we lose power. But something I have never had to do before was to fill sandbags. I spent my Sunday morning buying gas and filling sandbags.  I will be honest, I was feeling pretty down. Much of the negative feelings came from the fact that I had lined up a lawn mowing company to mow our lawn, but he didn’t come through. The grass is high, if this storm comes through, there will be even more debris on top of the high grass.  I have no idea what is wrong with our lawn mower. So I sit here not knowing how or when our lawn will be mowed. Back to the sand pile: I got to the location where people were filling sandbags, backed up to a sand pile, and realized everyone had their own shovels.  I didn’t know you had to bring your own shovel. There were two women who had a shovel and a small bucket. They offered me their bucket. I was so thankful because it saved me a trip to the local box store as driving home was too far away.  I started filling sandbags and putting them in my trunk. Another vehicle pulled up with two men and a little girl, and they started shoveling. Suddenly one of the men said ‘why don’t you use one of my shovels instead of using that bucket?’ I thanked him profusely, handed the bucket back to the two ladies, thanked them; and continued to shovel.  I was trying to fill as many bags as I could because I knew I would have to give back the shovel when the men were leaving.  Several bags in, I heard when one of the men said to the little girl, ‘go ahead, ask her.’ Suddenly the little girl said, ‘ma’am would you like me to hold the back open so you can put the sand in?’ I told her how kind she was and thanked her for her help.  It looked like the men were finishing up. So I asked if they needed their shovel back. One of the men said ‘no, when we are finished we will help you with your bags.’  Whew, all of these people had no way of knowing how really low I had been feeling all morning! I feel like God knew how low I was feeling, and wanted to remind me that He is in the big things and the little things. He sent me to that sand pile.  If you ever feel like offering help to someone on this journey called life, do it. If they say no, it’s on them. You did your part. If they say yes, you can feel good in knowing you are helping to make this crazy world a better place for someone.             Here’s a quote from TobyMacSpeaks: ‘Some stranger somewhere remembers  you because you were kind to them.’  Well, you know how to reach me. Just remember to give me 24 to 48 hours to respond.  Remember, everything you need to know about this episode is in the show notes!  See you in December!     Links mentioned: World Childless Week <a href="https://worldchildlessweek.net/events/2022/9/12/world-childless-week-2022" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> https://worldchildlessweek.net/events/2022/9/12/world-childless-week-2022</a> The Only One In The Room podcast interview  <a href="https://megaphone.link/LAV6430207146" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://megaphone.link/LAV6430207146</a> <a href="https://cms.megaphone.fm/channel/LAV2696308372?selected=LAV6430207146" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> https://cms.megaphone.fm/channel/LAV2696308372?selected=LAV6430207146</a> My contact information:Website: <a href="http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.childlessnotbychoice.net</a> and www.civillamorgan.comFacebook: booksbycivillamorganTwitter: @civilla1Instagram: @joyandrelevancePinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSMLinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM<a href="https://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice </a>

Episode 145--Hiatus 2022, My Time at the Sand Pile

This podcast is about the childless not by choice demographic on a global level. If like me, you are childless not by choice, this podcast, my platform, is a place for you to find community and understanding. Childless not by choice women and men can many times be misunderstood or ignored by society, and I want to change that.  I invite everyone to listen and to realize we are not all living the same lives. When we realize this, our minds will open up to the fact that we can treat each other with understanding, empathy, and grace.

This podcast has been a big help in my journey of childlessness. Civilla is inspiring an empowering so many women.

Empowering podcast

Thank you for being such a positive light to women everywhere!

She is true to the heart!

This podcast is about the childless not by choice demographic on a global level. If like me, you are childless not by choice, this podcast, my platform, is a place for you to find community and understanding. Childless not by choice women and men can many times be misunderstood or ignored by society, and I want to change that. I invite everyone to listen and to realize we are not all living the same lives. When we realize this, our minds will open up to the fact that we can treat each other with understanding, empathy, and grace.

Childless not by Choice

Hello everyone! Welcome back to Childless not by Choice, where my mission is to recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.  Civilla Morgan here! I am spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life, although we could not, did not, have the children we so wanted.    Patreon Contributors: (Patreon contributors are those who have taken an interest in my platform whether they fit the childless not by choice demographic or not. They have decided to contribute a certain dollar amount on a regular basis to help fund my dream of creating awareness and conversation for the childless not by choice community globally. Click the Patreon link for details and to become a Patron!)    https://www.patreon.com/21stcenturyhannah    Jordan Morgan    Just a reminder, visit the website where you can join the community group, check out all podcast episodes, blogs, and resources  www.childlessnotbychoice.net, the website is where the conversation is happening.  Well, we have a special guest today! Intro Jody: Jody Day, founder of Gateway Women, is author of the best-selling book ‘Living the Life Unexpected: 12 Weeks to Your Plan B for a Meaningful and Fulfilling Future Without Children’, and the best selling book ‘Rocking The Life Unexpected--.  She is a founding member and former board member at www.awoc.org (Ageing Without Children). Her TEDx talk, 'The Lost Tribe of Childless Women' was given at TEDxHull in March 2017 and has had more than 27K views. Jody was honoured in BBC'S 100 Women in 2013. And she is a trainee psychotherapist, and a former fellow in Social Innovation at Cambridge Judge Business School, Cambridge University. She runs workshops, online courses, a global online community and global social events for women coming to terms with a life that doesn’t include motherhood, and is currently training other women to lead her workshops in the UK, Ireland, Europe, The USA &amp; Canada. She plans to train more in Australia and New Zealand in the near future. Gateway Women has an aggregated social reach of over 2-million, between the website, various social media platforms, and its global public and private communities. Jody was partnered/married for 16 years in her 20s and 30s, during which she experienced unexplained infertility after an abortion in her very early 20s. She was single for many years before meeting her current partner. They divide their time between Ireland and Ibiza. Welcome, Jody:   I’m going to start out by going way back in time: Your article ‘I may not be a mother – but I'm still a person’--written in The Guardian Newspaper, --Friday February 24, 2012...   As I read the article, I could feel my heart breaking for the way you were treated at the party. I know the article was written so long ago, and it is not healthy to dwell on things, but what comes to mind when or if you think back to those times and events?         2) Why did you name your platform Gateway Women?   3) I read a quote recently: ‘When our broken dreams have cost us so dear, dreaming a new dream takes great courage’.--It was attributed to Gateway Women. Was that your quote? Either way, how do you grasp the courage to dream a new dream?   4) As I read through your intro in ‘Living the Life Unexpected: 12 Weeks to your Plan B for a Meaningful and Fulfilling Future Without Children’, I stopped short at the section where you considered doing volunteer work in Kabul, but reconsidered because you did not think you could deal with the Kabul winter. You weren’t even considering the fact that Kabul was in the middle of a war and that you could become a casualty. I definitely understand the level of grief where we do not even consider our safety. How do you get people outside of the childless not by choice demographic to understand that level of grief. Do you even bother?        5) In chapter one, you talk about the ‘universe of pain, heartbreak, surprise, dashed hopes, shock and grief…’ and the word shock jumped out at me. Shock for me was delayed...and then it came and went in waves. Which one of those nouns jumps out at you, if any? How did you overcome?   6) I’ve been questioned about how I am childless not by choice because I did not meet Mr. Right. It wasn’t an infertility issue, it was a social issue (no Mr. Right) plus biology (fibroids) equals no children. I read your list of 50 ways to be childless not by choice. My reason was number one! I got a little chuckle as it always amazes me how people can see you but not see you.  Do you ever get tired of telling your story, explaining your childless? Or does it make a difference who the audience is?   7) (Ch. 3) Life can be tough. Motherhood can be tough. Childlessness can be tough. Well, we all know life can be tough. How do we get the motherhood camp and the childless camp that life is indeed tough no matter which camp we belong to, that being childless is not a free ride?          8) In chapter 3 I believe, you say:   ‘Ideology is that which everyone believes to be ‘true’, but it’s actually a mixture of accepted prevalent beliefs that serve to support the dominant power group. Up until 500 years ago everyone thought the world was flat. That was an idea, not a truth, and around it was created a powerful ideology of Western Europe being at the centre of the world. So perhaps the ‘belief’ that a woman can only have a meaningful life if she is a mother may prove to be an ideological one and not the purely biological one that many of us have come to believe.’  Do you think society can really get past this ‘biological’ process we have utilized since the dawn of time? Is it just a matter of society learning to embrace empathy?   9) Chapter 4, ‘Grief is a dialogue not a monologue’ --   ‘Just as one of the most painful romantic experiences is ‘unrequited love’, I think that disenfranchised grief is a form of ‘unrequited grief’--a grief that is not allowed to be expressed, not allowed to be in a relationship.  But grief cannot move into its active state, ‘grieving’, without a relationship because grief is a dialogue not a monologue. And until we find a place to have that dialogue, either face to face, online, or with a skilled therapist, it stays wedged in our hearts like a splinter.  And it festers as it waits, infecting our life and our soul with sadness.’ (Location 1215 in Kindle).   Not only do we need to dialogue, but it is important to dialogue with someone who understands our pain. This is why community is so important isn’t it?   10) I never thought of the term ‘double whammy’ as possibly patriarchal until I read your book. It made me take a look at the way I use the term to describe what has happened in my life--no husband, no children. The last thing I want is to be pitied.  What an eye opener!   I had so many more questions, but I had to cut it off somewhere. I do need to mention that as I read about how families treat the childless not by choice family members among them. I have experienced this to some level, as I am sure almost all childless not by choice women have.   11) I read about the one woman who was forced out of her own bedroom to sleep in a tent in the garden to make room for her young niece! I was like, ‘are you kidding me???’   I love your suggestion that the time to negotiate proper treatment during family get togethers is not right before the get together.   I talk about kind but firm boundaries quite a bit on my platform. The bottom line is, we need to as childless not by choice women, condition or train the people around us, as to how we expect to be treated. But at the same time, we have to believe we deserve respect, and it can be hard depending on where we are in our journey. If we are feeling shame and then our family and friends shame us, we will probably just allow the shame to continue at least for a time.     Oh my goodness, there is so much more: The Spinster stereotype, the doting aunt stereotype, the older childless woman being a witch or the mean Cruella de Ville...my mom got married at age 28, and on her marriage certificate it says her previous status was Spinster. She was 28! I have always been offended with that language. But my mom always said those were the days. It doesn’t seem like much has changed.   Is there anything you would like to add, anything you would like to say before we close out?   NOTE: Read more about the fetishism of motherhood in chapter 3. It is deep! Chapters 8-10 pressed all types of buttons for me. Please do take the opportunity to read this book. I think you will thoroughly enjoy it!   Books by Jody Day:   ‘Living the Life Unexpected, 12 Weeks to Your Plan B for a Meaningful and Fulfilling Future Without Children’   Articles/Blogs written by Jody Day:  https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2012/feb/25/child-free-women-jody-day   Jody’s contact information: https://gateway-women.com/ Twitter: @GatewayWomen Instagram: @GatewayWomen Facebook: @GatewayWomenUK Email: Jody@gateway-women.com www.awoc.org  ‘It’s not a when, it’s an if.’--Jody Day.  Articles of note/episodes mentioned in this episode:    http://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-72-male-and-childless-not-by-choice-my-interview-with-dr-robin-hadley/   http://allafrica.com/stories/201806050128.html   My contact information:Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.comFacebook: booksbycivillamorganTwitter: @civilla1Instagram: @joyandrelevancePinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSMLinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSMPlease help me out by taking this very short survey!https://survey.libsyn.com/21stcenturyhannah Thank you for listening to this episode of Childless not by Choice. I appreciate it!Until next time! Bye!   ‘To recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless, not by choice women, and men, around the world.’ ‘Spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life’.

Hello everyone! Welcome back to Childless not by Choice, where my mission is to recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.  Civilla Morgan here! I am spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life, although we could not, did not, have the children we so wanted. <ul> <li>Patreon Contributors: (Patreon contributors are those who have taken an interest in my platform whether they fit the childless not by choice demographic or not. They have decided to contribute a certain dollar amount on a regular basis to help fund my dream of creating awareness and conversation for the childless not by choice community globally. Click the Patreon link for details and to become a Patron!)</li> </ul> <a href="https://www.patreon.com/21stcenturyhannah" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.patreon.com/21stcenturyhannah</a> <ul> <li>Jordan Morgan</li> </ul> Just a reminder, visit the website where you can join the community group, check out all podcast episodes, blogs, and resources  <a href="http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.childlessnotbychoice.net</a>, the website is where the conversation is happening. Well, we have a special guest today! Intro Jody: Jody Day, founder of Gateway Women, is author of the best-selling book ‘Living the Life Unexpected: 12 Weeks to Your Plan B for a Meaningful and Fulfilling Future Without Children’, and the best selling book ‘Rocking The Life Unexpected--.  She is a founding member and former board member at <a href="http://www.awoc.org" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.awoc.org</a> (Ageing Without Children). Her TEDx talk, 'The Lost Tribe of Childless Women' was given at TEDxHull in March 2017 and has had more than 27K views. Jody was honoured in BBC'S 100 Women in 2013. And she is a trainee psychotherapist, and a former fellow in Social Innovation at Cambridge Judge Business School, Cambridge University. She runs <a href="http://gateway-women.com/workshops/calendar/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">workshops</a>, <a href="http://www.gateway-women.com/theonlinebee" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">online courses</a>, <a href="http://gateway-women.com/community/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">a global online community</a> and <a href="http://www.gateway-women.com/meetup" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">global social events</a> for women coming to terms with a life that doesn’t include motherhood, and is currently training other women to lead her workshops in the UK, Ireland, Europe, The USA &amp; Canada. She plans to train more in Australia and New Zealand in the near future. Gateway Women has an aggregated social reach of over 2-million, between the website, various social media platforms, and its global public and private communities. Jody was partnered/married for 16 years in her 20s and 30s, during which she experienced unexplained infertility after an abortion in her very early 20s. She was single for many years before meeting her current partner. They divide their time between Ireland and Ibiza. Welcome, Jody: I’m going to start out by going way back in time: Your article ‘I may not be a mother – but I'm still a person’--written in The Guardian Newspaper, --Friday February 24, 2012... <ol> <li> As I read the article, I could feel my heart breaking for the way you were treated at the party. I know the article was written so long ago, and it is not healthy to dwell on things, but what comes to mind when or if you think back to those times and events?   </li> </ol> 2) Why did you name your platform Gateway Women? 3) I read a quote recently: ‘When our broken dreams have cost us so dear, dreaming a new dream takes great courage’.--It was attributed to Gateway Women. Was that your quote? Either way, how do you grasp the courage to dream a new dream? 4) As I read through your intro in ‘Living the Life Unexpected: 12 Weeks to your Plan B for a Meaningful and Fulfilling Future Without Children’, I stopped short at the section where you considered doing volunteer work in Kabul, but reconsidered because you did not think you could deal with the Kabul winter. You weren’t even considering the fact that Kabul was in the middle of a war and that you could become a casualty. I definitely understand the level of grief where we do not even consider our safety. How do you get people outside of the childless not by choice demographic to understand that level of grief. Do you even bother?      5) In chapter one, you talk about the ‘universe of pain, heartbreak, surprise, dashed hopes, shock and grief…’ and the word shock jumped out at me. Shock for me was delayed...and then it came and went in waves. Which one of those nouns jumps out at you, if any? How did you overcome? 6) I’ve been questioned about how I am childless not by choice because I did not meet Mr. Right. It wasn’t an infertility issue, it was a social issue (no Mr. Right) plus biology (fibroids) equals no children. I read your list of 50 ways to be childless not by choice. My reason was number one! I got a little chuckle as it always amazes me how people can see you but not see you.  Do you ever get tired of telling your story, explaining your childless? Or does it make a difference who the audience is? 7) (Ch. 3) Life can be tough. Motherhood can be tough. Childlessness can be tough. Well, we all know life can be tough. How do we get the motherhood camp and the childless camp that life is indeed tough no matter which camp we belong to, that being childless is not a free ride?        8) In chapter 3 I believe, you say: ‘Ideology is that which everyone believes to be ‘true’, but it’s actually a mixture of accepted prevalent beliefs that serve to support the dominant power group. Up until 500 years ago everyone thought the world was flat. That was an idea, not a truth, and around it was created a powerful ideology of Western Europe being at the centre of the world. So perhaps the ‘belief’ that a woman can only have a meaningful life if she is a mother may prove to be an ideological one and not the purely biological one that many of us have come to believe.’  Do you think society can really get past this ‘biological’ process we have utilized since the dawn of time? Is it just a matter of society learning to embrace empathy? 9) Chapter 4, ‘Grief is a dialogue not a monologue’ -- ‘Just as one of the most painful romantic experiences is ‘unrequited love’, I think that disenfranchised grief is a form of ‘unrequited grief’--a grief that is not allowed to be expressed, not allowed to be in a relationship.  But grief cannot move into its active state, ‘grieving’, without a relationship because grief is a dialogue not a monologue. And until we find a place to have that dialogue, either face to face, online, or with a skilled therapist, it stays wedged in our hearts like a splinter.  And it festers as it waits, infecting our life and our soul with sadness.’ (Location 1215 in Kindle). Not only do we need to dialogue, but it is important to dialogue with someone who understands our pain. This is why community is so important isn’t it? 10) I never thought of the term ‘double whammy’ as possibly patriarchal until I read your book. It made me take a look at the way I use the term to describe what has happened in my life--no husband, no children. The last thing I want is to be pitied.  What an eye opener! I had so many more questions, but I had to cut it off somewhere. I do need to mention that as I read about how families treat the childless not by choice family members among them. I have experienced this to some level, as I am sure almost all childless not by choice women have. 11) I read about the one woman who was forced out of her own bedroom to sleep in a tent in the garden to make room for her young niece! I was like, ‘are you kidding me???’   I love your suggestion that the time to negotiate proper treatment during family get togethers is not right before the get together. I talk about kind but firm boundaries quite a bit on my platform. The bottom line is, we need to as childless not by choice women, condition or train the people around us, as to how we expect to be treated. But at the same time, we have to believe we deserve respect, and it can be hard depending on where we are in our journey. If we are feeling shame and then our family and friends shame us, we will probably just allow the shame to continue at least for a time.   Oh my goodness, there is so much more: The Spinster stereotype, the doting aunt stereotype, the older childless woman being a witch or the mean Cruella de Ville...my mom got married at age 28, and on her marriage certificate it says her previous status was Spinster. She was 28! I have always been offended with that language. But my mom always said those were the days. It doesn’t seem like much has changed. Is there anything you would like to add, anything you would like to say before we close out? NOTE: Read more about the fetishism of motherhood in chapter 3. It is deep! Chapters 8-10 pressed all types of buttons for me. Please do take the opportunity to read this book. I think you will thoroughly enjoy it! Books by Jody Day: ‘Living the Life Unexpected, 12 Weeks to Your Plan B for a Meaningful and Fulfilling Future Without Children’ Articles/Blogs written by Jody Day: <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2012/feb/25/child-free-women-jody-day" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2012/feb/25/child-free-women-jody-day</a> Jody’s contact information: <a href="https://gateway-women.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://gateway-women.com/</a> Twitter: @GatewayWomen Instagram: @GatewayWomen Facebook: @GatewayWomenUK Email: Jody@gateway<a href="http://-women.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">-women.com</a> <a href="http://www.awoc.org" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.awoc.org</a> ‘It’s not a when, it’s an if.’--Jody Day. Articles of note/episodes mentioned in this episode: <a href="http://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-72-male-and-childless-not-by-choice-my-interview-with-dr-robin-hadley/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> http://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-72-male-and-childless-not-by-choice-my-interview-with-dr-robin-hadley/</a> <a href="http://allafrica.com/stories/201806050128.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">http://allafrica.com/stories/201806050128.html</a> My contact information:Website: <a href="http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.childlessnotbychoice.net</a> and www.civillamorgan.comFacebook: booksbycivillamorganTwitter: @civilla1Instagram: @joyandrelevancePinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSMLinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSMPlease help me out by taking this very short survey!<a href="https://survey.libsyn.com/21stcenturyhannah" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://survey.libsyn.com/21stcenturyhannah</a> Thank you for listening to this episode of Childless not by Choice. I appreciate it!Until next time! Bye! ‘To recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless, not by choice women, and men, around the world.’ ‘Spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life’.

Episode 90--My interview with Jody Day, founder of Gateway Women

Podcast—Episode 71--The Most Annoying Thing You’ve Been told about being childless Hello, everyone! Civilla Morgan here! Welcome back to Childless not by Choice, where my mission is to recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.  I am spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life; although we could not, did not, have children we so wanted.    Thank you's:  Thank you for your FB re-shares and your Twitter comments and re-tweets. It is always appreciated.    Thank you to my Patreon Contributors: (Patreon contributors are those who have taken an interest in my platform whether they fit the childless not by choice demographic or not. They have decided to contribute a certain dollar amount on a regular basis to help fund my dream of creating awareness and conversation for the childless not by choice community globally. Click the Patreon link in the show notes for details.)  My current Patreon Contributors:  Podcaster Sarah Williams of The Tough Girls Podcast Jordan Morgan   Put the link below in your browser and sign up to become my next Patreon Subscriber. Thank you!  https://www.patreon.com/21stcenturyhannah   In this episode, I go to my Childless not by Choice Facebook group and ask the question, ‘what is the most annoying thing someone has said to you about being childless?’ back in April! A month before Mother’s Day in the USA. Aaaaah, the responses. Will they shock you? It depends on if you have been on the giving end or the receiving end. Let me know, I’m curious! Oh, and I forgot to add another comment many of you should find hurtful. See below: One lady said that she was told by someone to leave their children alone and go get her own. I don’t know about you, but that is downright petty! If you have a comment you did not hear in the episode, send it to me and I will add it to my list. I’m thinking of updating this episode if I get more comments. Please only send in the comment if it happened directly to you.   Closing: Thank you for listening to this episode of Childless not by Choice. I appreciate it!   “I have decided NOT to live a life of hiding, fear, and apology, for prayers not answered.”—Civilla Morgan.   My contact information: Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.com Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan Twitter: @civilla1 Instagram: @joyandrelevance Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM     Please take a moment to take this survey! https://survey.libsyn.com/21stcenturyhannah   Until next time, bye!

Podcast—Episode 71--The Most Annoying Thing You’ve Been told about being childless Hello, everyone! Civilla Morgan here! Welcome back to Childless not by Choice, where my mission is to recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.  I am spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life; although we could not, did not, have children we so wanted.  Thank you's: <ul> <li>Thank you for your FB re-shares and your Twitter comments and re-tweets. It is always appreciated.</li> </ul> Thank you to my Patreon Contributors: (Patreon contributors are those who have taken an interest in my platform whether they fit the childless not by choice demographic or not. They have decided to contribute a certain dollar amount on a regular basis to help fund my dream of creating awareness and conversation for the childless not by choice community globally. Click the Patreon link in the show notes for details.)  My current Patreon Contributors: <ul> <li>Podcaster Sarah Williams of The Tough Girls Podcast</li> <li>Jordan Morgan</li> </ul> Put the link below in your browser and sign up to become my next Patreon Subscriber. Thank you! <a href="https://www.patreon.com/21stcenturyhannah" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.patreon.com/21stcenturyhannah</a> In this episode, I go to my Childless not by Choice Facebook group and ask the question, ‘what is the most annoying thing someone has said to you about being childless?’ back in April! A month before Mother’s Day in the USA. Aaaaah, the responses. Will they shock you? It depends on if you have been on the giving end or the receiving end. Let me know, I’m curious! Oh, and I forgot to add another comment many of you should find hurtful. See below: One lady said that she was told by someone to leave their children alone and go get her own. I don’t know about you, but that is downright petty! If you have a comment you did not hear in the episode, send it to me and I will add it to my list. I’m thinking of updating this episode if I get more comments. Please only send in the comment if it happened directly to you. Closing: Thank you for listening to this episode of Childless not by Choice. I appreciate it! “I have decided NOT to live a life of hiding, fear, and apology, for prayers not answered.”—Civilla Morgan. My contact information: Website: <a href="http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.childlessnotbychoice.net</a> and <a href="http://www.civillamorgan.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.civillamorgan.com</a> Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan Twitter: @civilla1 Instagram: @joyandrelevance Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM Please take a moment to take this survey! <a href="https://survey.libsyn.com/21stcenturyhannah" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://survey.libsyn.com/21stcenturyhannah</a> Until next time, bye!

Episode 71--Most annoying thing someone has said about your childlessness

Chelsea Patterson Sobolik

Hello everyone! Welcome back to Childless not by Choice, where my mission is to recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.  Civilla Morgan here! I am spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life, although we could not, did not, have the children we so wanted.    Patreon Contributors: (Patreon contributors are those who have taken an interest in my platform whether they fit the childless not by choice demographic or not. They have decided to contribute a certain dollar amount on a regular basis to help fund my dream of creating awareness and conversation for the childless not by choice community globally. Click the Patreon link for details and to become a Patron!)    https://www.patreon.com/21stcenturyhannah    Jordan Morgan    Well, today we have a special guest!   Intro: Chelsea Patterson Sobolik says about herself, ‘There are many ways I could describe myself – wife, author, Congressional staffer, daughter, friend, lover of coffee, fresh flowers, and acoustic music, but the most important thing to know about me is that my heart, mind, and soul belong to my Savior, Jesus Christ. He saved my soul from the eternal separation that I rightly deserve due to my sin, adopted me, redeemed me and calls me His own. When I’m not writing, I’m working my full-time job, as a Legislative Assistant on child welfare policy on Capitol Hill – basically, I get to help work on policies that would make adoption and foster care better, and help improve the lives of children. My heart lights on fire whenever I get to write or talk about adoption! A large part of that stems from the fact that I was adopted from Bucharest, Romania as a child. Apart from my salvation, being adopted is the greatest gift I’ve ever received. I grew up in North Carolina, with five adopted siblings from Eastern Europe!  I am a graduate of Liberty University. My husband Michael and I call Washington D.C. home as of a couple of years ago, and it’s been the adventure of a lifetime. While I do miss parts of the south – for instance, people smiling at me and being generally more kind, D.C. quickly became home. I live on Capitol Hill, just a few blocks away from the Capitol, and  I work for one of my heroes. DC stole my heart, and I love getting to do life here. Welcome, Chelsea! Well, I think I wrote down 20 questions and points that stood out to me as I read your book. It was so hard to pull out just a few. But let’s get started!    The Gospel Coalition website has a blog post you wrote back in January 2017.  I’ve put the link to that post in the show notes under your contact information. But some of us were not able to adopt.  In fact ‘why don’t you just adopt’ is a question every childless not by choice woman I know has been asked. It’s actually a pet peeve in the childless not by choice community, because if we had wanted to or were able to adopt, we would have. The average adoption these days is about $30k. Your job description is to work ‘as a Legislative Assistant on child welfare policy on Capitol Hill – basically, I get to help work on policies that would make adoption and foster care better, and help improve the lives of children.’ Was that on purpose? Do you ever have moments when you feel left out?  2) As I read the foreword to your book ‘Longing for Motherhood, the author of the foreword said, he ‘fully expects that sometime after this book is published and in your hands, Chelsea will, in fact, find herself a mother of children...but if not, she is not deprived.’ I had to read that a couple of times...but I was a little confused, especially after reading the reason for your childlessness--Mayer–Rokitansky–Küster–Hauser syndrome (MRKH). I even wondered if he referred to your job of helping to make the adoption process easier?     3) I recognized so many parallels between your experience and mine as I read your book. Grief is truly a globally felt and understood, or maybe I should say misunderstood, language; regardless of anything else that may differentiate us.  I begged and bargained with God. I told my mom she has five children of her own, and that she did not really understand my pain. Grief made me angry. Would you speak to the woman who is currently in the midst of the anger phase of her grief?     4) In the chapter, ‘Equipping the church to care for the childless’,  Thank you by the way, for highlighting the fact that some women are not only childless, we are husbandless. It’s what I like to call the double whammy. What do you think it will take to get the church to realize that the congregation is now more than ever, made up of more than mom, dad, and kids, but that there are single never married people, there are widowed people, there are childless people?   5)  In chapter two, you talked about redeeming the dead time in the day. It is so important to protect our thought life, isn’t it?   6) You mention that it is OK not to be OK. Can you encourage the woman or man out there, that is not feeling OK and wonders how to get through those feelings?   7) Well, as I mentioned in the beginning, I had so many notes, but as we wrap up, would you leave us with a word of encouragement with something you said in chapter 3: ‘your trials have an expiration date?   8) Chelsea, thank you so much for your time today. You are speaking to women and men who listen all around the world. You have a global audience. Is there anything else you would like to add that we should have covered?     Thank you for your time today Chelsea!   Chelsea’s contact information: Website: http://www.chelseapattersonsobolik.com Book: ‘Longing for Motherhood, Holding onto Hope in the Midst of Childlessness’ Blog posts:  https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/article/today-is-my-birthday-because-my-mom-chose-life/ (January 2017)  https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/profile/chelsea-patterson/   “The fact that I am a woman does not make me a different kind of Christian, but the fact that I am a Christian makes me a different kind of woman.”– Elisabeth Elliot   Books suggested by Chelsea: ‘The Broken Way’, by Ann Voskamp ‘Spiritual Depression’, by  D. Martyn Lloyd-Jones   Articles and links of note: If you have not listened yet, below is a link to my episode ‘Adopt for the Right Reasons’  http://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-82-adopt-for-the-right-reasons/   My contact information: Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.com Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan Twitter: @civilla1 Instagram: @joyandrelevance Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM   Please help me out by taking this very short survey! https://survey.libsyn.com/21stcenturyhannah   Thank you for listening to this episode of Childless not by Choice. I appreciate it!   Until next time! Bye!

Hello everyone! Welcome back to Childless not by Choice, where my mission is to recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.  Civilla Morgan here! I am spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life, although we could not, did not, have the children we so wanted. <ul> <li>Patreon Contributors: (Patreon contributors are those who have taken an interest in my platform whether they fit the childless not by choice demographic or not. They have decided to contribute a certain dollar amount on a regular basis to help fund my dream of creating awareness and conversation for the childless not by choice community globally. Click the Patreon link for details and to become a Patron!)</li> </ul> <a href="https://www.patreon.com/21stcenturyhannah" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.patreon.com/21stcenturyhannah</a> <ul> <li>Jordan Morgan</li> </ul> Well, today we have a special guest! Intro: Chelsea Patterson Sobolik says about herself, ‘There are many ways I could describe myself – wife, author, Congressional staffer, daughter, friend, lover of coffee, fresh flowers, and acoustic music, but the most important thing to know about me is that my heart, mind, and soul belong to my Savior, Jesus Christ. He saved my soul from the eternal separation that I rightly deserve due to my sin, adopted me, redeemed me and calls me His own. When I’m not writing, I’m working my full-time job, as a Legislative Assistant on child welfare policy on Capitol Hill – basically, I get to help work on policies that would make adoption and foster care better, and help improve the lives of children. My heart lights on fire whenever I get to write or talk about adoption! A large part of that stems from the fact that I was adopted from Bucharest, Romania as a child. Apart from my salvation, being adopted is the greatest gift I’ve ever received. I grew up in North Carolina, with five adopted siblings from Eastern Europe!  I am a graduate of Liberty University. My husband Michael and I call Washington D.C. home as of a couple of years ago, and it’s been the adventure of a lifetime. While I do miss parts of the south – for instance, people smiling at me and being generally more kind, D.C. quickly became home. I live on Capitol Hill, just a few blocks away from the Capitol, and  I work for one of my heroes. DC stole my heart, and I love getting to do life here. Welcome, Chelsea! Well, I think I wrote down 20 questions and points that stood out to me as I read your book. It was so hard to pull out just a few. But let’s get started! <ol> <li>The Gospel Coalition website has a blog post you wrote back in January 2017.  I’ve put the link to that post in the show notes under your contact information. But some of us were not able to adopt.</li> </ol> In fact ‘why don’t you just adopt’ is a question every childless not by choice woman I know has been asked. It’s actually a pet peeve in the childless not by choice community, because if we had wanted to or were able to adopt, we would have. The average adoption these days is about $30k. Your job description is to work ‘as a Legislative Assistant on child welfare policy on Capitol Hill – basically, I get to help work on policies that would make adoption and foster care better, and help improve the lives of children.’ Was that on purpose? Do you ever have moments when you feel left out? 2) As I read the foreword to your book ‘Longing for Motherhood, the author of the foreword said, he ‘fully expects that sometime after this book is published and in your hands, Chelsea will, in fact, find herself a mother of children...but if not, she is not deprived.’ I had to read that a couple of times...but I was a little confused, especially after reading the reason for your childlessness--Mayer–Rokitansky–Küster–Hauser syndrome (MRKH). I even wondered if he referred to your job of helping to make the adoption process easier?   3) I recognized so many parallels between your experience and mine as I read your book. Grief is truly a globally felt and understood, or maybe I should say misunderstood, language; regardless of anything else that may differentiate us.  I begged and bargained with God. I told my mom she has five children of her own, and that she did not really understand my pain. Grief made me angry. Would you speak to the woman who is currently in the midst of the anger phase of her grief?   4) In the chapter, ‘Equipping the church to care for the childless’,  Thank you by the way, for highlighting the fact that some women are not only childless, we are husbandless. It’s what I like to call the double whammy. What do you think it will take to get the church to realize that the congregation is now more than ever, made up of more than mom, dad, and kids, but that there are single never married people, there are widowed people, there are childless people? 5)  In chapter two, you talked about redeeming the dead time in the day. It is so important to protect our thought life, isn’t it? 6) You mention that it is OK not to be OK. Can you encourage the woman or man out there, that is not feeling OK and wonders how to get through those feelings? 7) Well, as I mentioned in the beginning, I had so many notes, but as we wrap up, would you leave us with a word of encouragement with something you said in chapter 3: ‘your trials have an expiration date? 8) Chelsea, thank you so much for your time today. You are speaking to women and men who listen all around the world. You have a global audience. Is there anything else you would like to add that we should have covered?   Thank you for your time today Chelsea! Chelsea’s contact information: Website: <a href="http://www.chelseapattersonsobolik.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">http://www.chelseapattersonsobolik.com</a> Book: ‘Longing for Motherhood, Holding onto Hope in the Midst of Childlessness’ Blog posts: <a href="https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/article/today-is-my-birthday-because-my-mom-chose-life/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/article/today-is-my-birthday-because-my-mom-chose-life/</a> (January 2017) <a href="https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/profile/chelsea-patterson/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/profile/chelsea-patterson/</a> “The fact that I am a woman does not make me a different kind of Christian, but the fact that I am a Christian makes me a different kind of woman.”– Elisabeth Elliot Books suggested by Chelsea: ‘The Broken Way’, by Ann Voskamp ‘Spiritual Depression’, by <a href="https://www.christianbook.com/Christian/Books/easy_find?Ntk=author&amp;Ntt=D.%20Martyn%20Lloyd-Jones" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> D. Martyn Lloyd-Jones</a> Articles and links of note: If you have not listened yet, below is a link to my episode ‘Adopt for the Right Reasons’ <a href="http://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-82-adopt-for-the-right-reasons/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> http://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-82-adopt-for-the-right-reasons/</a> My contact information: Website: <a href="http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.childlessnotbychoice.net</a> and <a href="http://www.civillamorgan.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.civillamorgan.com</a> Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan Twitter: @civilla1 Instagram: @joyandrelevance Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM Please help me out by taking this very short survey! <a href="https://survey.libsyn.com/21stcenturyhannah" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://survey.libsyn.com/21stcenturyhannah</a> Thank you for listening to this episode of Childless not by Choice. I appreciate it! Until next time! Bye!

Episode 86--'Longing for Motherhood, Holding onto hope in the midst of childlessness', My Interview with Chelsea Patterson Sobolik

Mother’s Day 2020  Intro:Hello, and welcome to another episode of the Childless not by Choice Podcast, where my mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world. Civilla Morgan here. I am spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life, although we did not have the children we so wanted. I also welcome you if you do not fit the demographic. Maybe you did not want children, maybe you have children. Thanks for tuning in.  Welcome to episode 119!   Well, we have some things to talk about this Mother’s Day. But before we get into that... Patreon Contributors: I would like to thank my patrons for their monthly financial contributions to the platform. If you would like to join the Patreon family of monthly contributors, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice, and set up your monthly contribution for as little as $5.00 per month! No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you!   And if you prefer to give a one time gift via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com. Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you!   https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice  Jordan Morgan The Knights Your Name Here   I also wanted to share something with you: Wherever  -- or however -- you’re listening to this podcast right now, take a moment and check out Stitcher. Those of you listening on Stitcher already get why. For those who don’t know what Stitcher is, it is a FREE podcast app for iPhone and Android and home to over two hundred and sixty thousand podcasts. Stitcher also has smart recommendations, playlists, a car mode, even a sleep timer! While the Stitcher app is free to use, they also offer a Premium subscription service called Stitcher Premium that has exclusive bonus episodes from top shows, exclusive shows from top hosts, and ad-free listening all for only $4.99 per month or $34.99 per year. Check out Stitcher Premium today and remember to use Promo code NOTBYCHOICE.     Questions or comments? Contact me at:   Email: Info@civillamorgan.com                                                  Or   Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.   So...let me start by saying this, although it may sound like I am starting a conversation in the middle of a sentence...    Being kind to yourself alleviates the painful words and nonsense from family, friends and strangers. When you are kind to yourself, you like yourself.   You have to like you, sincerely like you, faults, and warts, and all. And when that happens, then you will get to the point where you love yourself. I’m not talking about a prideful, haughty, perfectionist like or love. I am talking about a self-respecting love despite faults and failures. You must know that no one is perfect, not even beautiful you.  We will all have faults and failures. The key is to know what they are. Look them in the eye and know them. Then make the decision every day not to allow them to define you.  When you do that, failures will happen, but much less often than if you pretended you were perfect and everyone else was at fault.  This is a great segue to point number three... We are all in different places in our cnbc journey in particular, and in our life journey in general. This means we cannot compare our journey to someone else’s. Look, there can be a group of childless not by choice women sitting chatting together, and one of the women in the group can be so deep in her grief she might be thinking to herself that another woman in the group doesn’t seem so dissatisfied with her life. This woman probably did not want kids to begin with.  And nothing could be further from the truth. It just so happens that this sincerely happy woman is at a place in her life where she has achieved acceptance. See what I did there? The key word is achieved. It takes work to reach acceptance. And even after acceptance has been achieved, she may still have moments that last a few seconds or a few minutes where she feels a tug, a whisper, of what might have been.    Grief, you know? It doesn’t completely disappear, it blends into the fabric of who we are, our experiences. It doesn’t get erased, forgotten, or ignored.  So, when the insensitivities come, and they will, they will be met with, if not now, at some point on your journey, proper boundaries of self-respect and self-love. Such healthy boundaries will allow us to deal with insensitivity year-round, but especially on Mother’s Day.   Well, I could not end this bittersweet Mother’s Day without wishing my own mommy a Happy Mother’s Day. My heart is still broken into a million pieces. May 6th will be a year, but it feels like just yesterday that she left this earth where she was bound by constant pain. I miss her more than words can say. And my subconscious knows it because the closer we get to May 6th, 2020, the more my heartaches. The more I feel the tears coursing down my face out of nowhere.  It’s amazing how little the world cares about your loss, and how much that small circle of friends does. I am so thankful for the wonderful women who have rallied around me.  They know who they are. The wonderful women who are physically nearby, and the wonderful admins in our childless not by choice group who have their own lives to deal with, but still tend to our Facebook group. Thank you to all of you for checking in, for praying, for kind words, for community.  Whether you are a mother or not, you have the heart of a mother, and no one can take that away from you.    Episode takeaways:   ‘The closer we get to May 6th 2020, the more the tears course down my face out of nowhere.’   ‘Thank you to all of you for checking in, for your kind words, for community.’   ‘Mother’s Day is not easy for so many reasons.’   ‘I don’t like to say things like ‘she’s in a better place...I’d rather say she’s in a place where there is no pain.’   ‘As a Believer, I know she is in Heaven, and I know Heaven is a much better place than this earth, but I prefer to say she is in a place where there is no pain.’     ‘Whether you are a mother or not, you have the heart of a mother, and no one can take that away from you. Happy Mother’s Day.’    ‘You’re where you’re supposed to be.’   Special thank you to: Stitcher Premium.   My contact information:Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.comFacebook: booksbycivillamorganTwitter: @civilla1Instagram: @joyandrelevancePinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSMLinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSMhttps://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice If you would like to become a one time or ongoing sponsor, or if you would like to advertise your business or an upcoming event, contact me at info@civillamorgan.com for details.    Remember, subscription to the podcast is free. Simply go to Apple Podcast, Stitcher Radio, Spotify, Overcast, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Search for Childless not by Choice, and hit the subscribe button. It’s that easy!  Well, thank you for listening to this episode of Childless not by Choice! Until next time! Bye!   ‘To recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.’   ‘Spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life’.

Mother’s Day 2020 Intro:Hello, and welcome to another episode of the Childless not by Choice Podcast, where my mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world. Civilla Morgan here. I am spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life, although we did not have the children we so wanted. I also welcome you if you do not fit the demographic. Maybe you did not want children, maybe you have children. Thanks for tuning in.  Welcome to episode 119! Well, we have some things to talk about this Mother’s Day. But before we get into that... Patreon Contributors: I would like to thank my patrons for their monthly financial contributions to the platform. If you would like to join the Patreon family of monthly contributors, visit <a href="http://patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice</a>, and set up your monthly contribution for as little as $5.00 per month! No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you!   And if you prefer to give a one time gift via PayPal, you can find me there at <a href="mailto:booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com">booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com</a>. Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you! <a href="https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice</a> <ul> <li>Jordan Morgan</li> <li>The Knights</li> <li>Your Name Here </li> </ul> I also wanted to share something with you: Wherever  -- or however -- you’re listening to this podcast right now, take a moment and check out Stitcher. Those of you listening on Stitcher already get why. For those who don’t know what Stitcher is, it is a FREE podcast app for iPhone and Android and home to over two hundred and sixty thousand podcasts. Stitcher also has smart recommendations, playlists, a car mode, even a sleep timer! While the Stitcher app is free to use, they also offer a Premium subscription service called Stitcher Premium that has exclusive bonus episodes from top shows, exclusive shows from top hosts, and ad-free listening all for only $4.99 per month or $34.99 per year. Check out Stitcher Premium today and remember to use Promo code NOTBYCHOICE. Questions or comments? Contact me at: Email: <a href="mailto:Info@civillamorgan.com">Info@civillamorgan.com</a>                                                Or Visit the website at <a href="http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.childlessnotbychoice.net</a>, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail. So...let me start by saying this, although it may sound like I am starting a conversation in the middle of a sentence... <ul> <li>Being kind to yourself alleviates the painful words and nonsense from family, friends and strangers. When you are kind to yourself, you like yourself.  </li> <li>You have to like you, sincerely like you, faults, and warts, and all. And when that happens, then you will get to the point where you love yourself. I’m not talking about a prideful, haughty, perfectionist like or love. I am talking about a self-respecting love despite faults and failures. You must know that no one is perfect, not even beautiful you.  We will all have faults and failures. The key is to know what they are. Look them in the eye and know them. Then make the decision every day not to allow them to define you.  When you do that, failures will happen, but much less often than if you pretended you were perfect and everyone else was at fault.  This is a great segue to point number three...</li> <li>We are all in different places in our cnbc journey in particular, and in our life journey in general. This means we cannot compare our journey to someone else’s. Look, there can be a group of childless not by choice women sitting chatting together, and one of the women in the group can be so deep in her grief she might be thinking to herself that another woman in the group doesn’t seem so dissatisfied with her life. This woman probably did not want kids to begin with.  And nothing could be further from the truth. It just so happens that this sincerely happy woman is at a place in her life where she has achieved acceptance. See what I did there? The key word is achieved. It takes work to reach acceptance. And even after acceptance has been achieved, she may still have moments that last a few seconds or a few minutes where she feels a tug, a whisper, of what might have been.   </li> <li>Grief, you know? It doesn’t completely disappear, it blends into the fabric of who we are, our experiences. It doesn’t get erased, forgotten, or ignored. </li> <li>So, when the insensitivities come, and they will, they will be met with, if not now, at some point on your journey, proper boundaries of self-respect and self-love. Such healthy boundaries will allow us to deal with insensitivity year-round, but especially on Mother’s Day.  </li> <li>Well, I could not end this bittersweet Mother’s Day without wishing my own mommy a Happy Mother’s Day. My heart is still broken into a million pieces. May 6th will be a year, but it feels like just yesterday that she left this earth where she was bound by constant pain. I miss her more than words can say. And my subconscious knows it because the closer we get to May 6th, 2020, the more my heartaches. The more I feel the tears coursing down my face out of nowhere.  It’s amazing how little the world cares about your loss, and how much that small circle of friends does. I am so thankful for the wonderful women who have rallied around me.  They know who they are. The wonderful women who are physically nearby, and the wonderful admins in our childless not by choice group who have their own lives to deal with, but still tend to our Facebook group. Thank you to all of you for checking in, for praying, for kind words, for community.  Whether you are a mother or not, you have the heart of a mother, and no one can take that away from you.</li> </ul> Episode takeaways: ‘The closer we get to May 6th 2020, the more the tears course down my face out of nowhere.’ ‘Thank you to all of you for checking in, for your kind words, for community.’ ‘Mother’s Day is not easy for so many reasons.’ ‘I don’t like to say things like ‘she’s in a better place...I’d rather say she’s in a place where there is no pain.’ ‘As a Believer, I know she is in Heaven, and I know Heaven is a much better place than this earth, but I prefer to say she is in a place where there is no pain.’   ‘Whether you are a mother or not, you have the heart of a mother, and no one can take that away from you. Happy Mother’s Day.’  ‘You’re where you’re supposed to be.’ Special thank you to: Stitcher Premium. My contact information:Website: <a href="http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.childlessnotbychoice.net</a> and www.civillamorgan.comFacebook: booksbycivillamorganTwitter: @civilla1Instagram: @joyandrelevancePinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSMLinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM<a href="https://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice </a>If you would like to become a one time or ongoing sponsor, or if you would like to advertise your business or an upcoming event, contact me at <a href="mailto:info@civillamorgan.com">info@civillamorgan.com</a> for details.  Remember, subscription to the podcast is free. Simply go to Apple Podcast, Stitcher Radio, Spotify, Overcast, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Search for Childless not by Choice, and hit the subscribe button. It’s that easy!  Well, thank you for listening to this episode of Childless not by Choice! Until next time! Bye! ‘To recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.’ ‘Spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life’.

Episode--119 Mothers Day 2020

Hello, everyone! Civilla Morgan here! Welcome back to Childless, not by Choice, where my mission is to recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.  I am spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant and fulfilled life, although we could not, did not, have the children we so wanted. Please remember to tell your friends about the show and share episodes to your social media followers! I would appreciate that!   Well, today I have a special guest, and I am so excited! You know how some people come into your life and you are just so happy they exist? That’s how I feel about this special young lady, she is just beautiful inside and out! Let me tell you a more about her before we get started:    Valerie Zollinger is a Certified Professional Speaker, Best-Selling Author and Leader. Her unique blend of passion, authenticity and extensive understanding of human behavior results in enlightening and engaging presentations for audiences. She is known as the “Light Giver” for her great strength, compassion, and desire to spread a message of hope in the face of any challenge or adversity.   Valerie received her Bachelor’s and Master’s Degrees in Social Work from the University of Central Florida. She has ten years of experience working with people from diverse backgrounds in various settings including mental health, hospitals, and dialysis clinics. She has helped thousands of people make positive changes in their lives. Valerie prides herself on being a loving and accepting person. She has had a passion for writing and for helping others since she was a child.   Valerie is a successful business owner with Arbonne International and a team leader. She is the President of the Board for the Bereaved Survivors of Homicide, Inc., and a member of the Junior League of Greater Orlando. Her vision is a world where all people know and understand that a healthy, powerful body leads to a healthy, powerful life. Valerie’s mission is to inspire others to make the changes necessary in their lives to step into their greatness.   Welcome Valerie:   Let’s get started! You have done this talk several times, and I am honored that you are sharing it with us today!  I just know that the childless not by choice community will gain help and healing just by hearing your story, and by listening as you explain the five F’s to us today! I know I did!  Finance- Faith- Forgiveness- Friends &amp; Family- Fitness-   In the episode, I mentioned a previous episode where I interviewed CFP Reshell Smith. Here is a link to that episode on finance for women around the world:     http://childlessnotbychoice.net/childless-not-by-choice-reshell-smith-interview-finance-for-women-around-the-world/     Closing: Thank you for listening to this episode of Childless not by Choice. If you found value in this episode, or the podcast and platform in general, feel free to visit the donation jar on the website, stop by iTunes and leave me a rating and review, and of course tell a friend.    Valerie’s contact information: Contact Valerie at Valerie@valeriezollinger.com or (407) 342-6481. Visit her websites: valeriezollinger.com and valeriesmith5.arbonne.com.   My contact information:   Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.com Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan Twitter: @civilla1 Instagram: @joyandrelevance Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM  Please take a moment to take this survey! https://survey.libsyn.com/21stcenturyhannah   Until next time, bye! 

Hello, everyone! Civilla Morgan here! Welcome back to Childless, not by Choice, where my mission is to recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.  I am spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant and fulfilled life, although we could not, did not, have the children we so wanted. Please remember to tell your friends about the show and share episodes to your social media followers! I would appreciate that! Well, today I have a special guest, and I am so excited! You know how some people come into your life and you are just so happy they exist? That’s how I feel about this special young lady, she is just beautiful inside and out! Let me tell you a more about her before we get started:    Valerie Zollinger is a Certified Professional Speaker, Best-Selling Author and Leader. Her unique blend of passion, authenticity and extensive understanding of human behavior results in enlightening and engaging presentations for audiences. She is known as the “Light Giver” for her great strength, compassion, and desire to spread a message of hope in the face of any challenge or adversity. Valerie received her Bachelor’s and Master’s Degrees in Social Work from the University of Central Florida. She has ten years of experience working with people from diverse backgrounds in various settings including mental health, hospitals, and dialysis clinics. She has helped thousands of people make positive changes in their lives. Valerie prides herself on being a loving and accepting person. She has had a passion for writing and for helping others since she was a child. Valerie is a successful business owner with Arbonne International and a team leader. She is the President of the Board for the Bereaved Survivors of Homicide, Inc., and a member of the Junior League of Greater Orlando. Her vision is a world where all people know and understand that a healthy, powerful body leads to a healthy, powerful life. Valerie’s mission is to inspire others to make the changes necessary in their lives to step into their greatness. Welcome Valerie: Let’s get started! You have done this talk several times, and I am honored that you are sharing it with us today!  I just know that the childless not by choice community will gain help and healing just by hearing your story, and by listening as you explain the five F’s to us today! I know I did! Finance- Faith- Forgiveness- Friends &amp; Family- Fitness- In the episode, I mentioned a previous episode where I interviewed CFP Reshell Smith. Here is a link to that episode on finance for women around the world:  <a href="http://childlessnotbychoice.net/childless-not-by-choice-reshell-smith-interview-finance-for-women-around-the-world/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> http://childlessnotbychoice.net/childless-not-by-choice-reshell-smith-interview-finance-for-women-around-the-world/</a> Closing: Thank you for listening to this episode of Childless not by Choice. If you found value in this episode, or the podcast and platform in general, feel free to visit the donation jar on the website, stop by iTunes and leave me a rating and review, and of course tell a friend.  Valerie’s contact information: Contact Valerie at <a href="mailto:Valerie@valeriezollinger.com">Valerie@valeriezollinger.com</a> or (407) 342-6481. Visit her websites: <a href="http://valeriezollinger.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">valeriezollinger.com</a> and <a href="http://valeriesmith5.arbonne.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">valeriesmith5.arbonne.com</a>. My contact information: Website: <a href="http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.childlessnotbychoice.net</a> and <a href="http://www.civillamorgan.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.civillamorgan.com</a> Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan Twitter: @civilla1 Instagram: @joyandrelevance Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM Please take a moment to take this survey! <a href="https://survey.libsyn.com/21stcenturyhannah" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://survey.libsyn.com/21stcenturyhannah</a> Until next time, bye!

Episode 69--How to Live not just exist, after a crisis  

Episode 59—Endometriosis Hello everyone! WELCOME BACK TO 21ST CENTURY HANNAH, WHERE MY MISSION IS TO RECOGNIZE AND SPEAK TO THE BROKEN HEARTS OF CHILDLESS NOT BY CHOICE WOMEN, AND MEN, AROUND THE WORLD.  I AM SPREADING THE GREAT NEWS THAT WE CAN LIVE A JOYFUL AND RELEVANT LIFE REGARDLESS OF THE FACT THAT WE COULD NOT HAVE CHILDREN. Well, I appreciate your taking the time to listen in once again. Thank you to my repeat listeners. And if you are listening for the first time, I hope you will come back for another visit! Remember to tell your friends about the show, and feel free to share with your social media followers! I would appreciate that! Also, if you find value in the content of these podcast episodes, click on the donate button on the website! Donations go toward podcasting equipment and building out the platform to create online courses for women and men who are childless not by choice. I want to create courses that will take my demographic from hopelessness to healing. Well, today’s episode is all about Endometriosis. Endometriosis (en-doe-me-tree-O-sis) is an often painful disorder in which tissue that normally lines the inside of your uterus — the endometrium — grows outside your uterus. Endometriosis most commonly involves your ovaries, fallopian tubes, and the tissue lining your pelvis. Rarely, endometrial tissue may spread beyond pelvic organs. With endometriosis, displaced endometrial tissue continues to act as it normally would — it thickens, breaks down and bleeds with each menstrual cycle. Because this displaced tissue has no way to exit your body, it becomes trapped. When endometriosis involves the ovaries, cysts called endometriomas may form. Surrounding tissue can become irritated, eventually developing scar tissue and adhesions — abnormal bands of fibrous tissue that can cause pelvic tissues and organs to stick to each other. Endometriosis can cause pain — sometimes severe — especially during your period. Fertility problems also may develop. Surprise: Fortunately, effective treatments are available.  I did not realize that effective treatments were available. I honestly thought there was no effective treatment for Endometriosis.     Some things that surprised me:  The severity of your pain isn't necessarily a reliable indicator of the extent of the condition. Some women with mild endometriosis have intense pain, while others with advanced endometriosis may have little pain or even no pain at all. Endometriosis is sometimes mistaken for other conditions that can cause pelvic pain, such as pelvic inflammatory disease (PID) or ovarian cysts. It may be confused with irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), a condition that causes bouts of diarrhea, constipation and abdominal cramping. IBS can accompany endometriosis, which can complicate the diagnosis.  It’s really important to get a second opinion especially if you’re just not feeling that the diagnosis is correct. I truly believe, and I have said it before, no one knows your body better than you do. If you are not convinced about a diagnosis, get a second opinion.   Causes: Although the exact cause of endometriosis is not certain, possible explanations include: Retrograde menstruation.  Transformation of peritoneal cells.  Embryonic cell transformation.  Surgical scar implantation.  Endometrial cells transport.  Immune system disorder.  For additional details on each of these causes, see the Mayo Clinic article link in the show notes below. As I continued my research, I went next to the Hopkins Medicine site, link in the show notes, and found the following risk factors that could cause an increased possibility for a woman to have endometriosis: Risk Factors of Endometriosis They say that… While any woman may develop endometriosis, the following women seem to be at an increased risk for the disease:  Women who have a first-degree relative (mother, sister, daughter) with the disease Women who are giving birth for the first time after age 30 White women Women with an abnormal uterus    Now the following information was of particular interest to me, and I am sure to those who have been diagnosed with Endometriosis: Relationship of Endometriosis to Infertility:   Endometriosis is considered one of the three major causes of female infertility. According to the American Society for Reproductive Medicine, endometriosis can be found in 24 to 50 percent of women who experience infertility. In mild to moderate cases, the infertility may be temporary. In these cases, surgery to remove adhesions, cysts and scar tissue can restore fertility. In other cases — a very small percentage — women may remain infertile. (Hmmmm, kinda sounds like when they told me after one of my first myomectomies, ‘OK, we removed the fibroids, now go out and get pregnant before they grow back.’ Um, OK. Anyway... How endometriosis affects fertility is not clearly understood. It is thought that scar tissue from endometriosis can impair the release of the egg from the ovary and subsequent pickup by the fallopian tube. Other mechanisms thought to affect fertility include changes in the pelvic environment that results in impaired implantation of the fertilized egg. For additional information and ways to ease the pain, visit the link: Hopkins Medicine link below. Another site you may find helpful is the ACOG, American Congress of Obstetrics and Gynecologists. It’s a site that seems to be regularly updated with educational material and workshops. Check it out! So I love statistics because they tell a story in numbers. Yes, numbers can be skewed by human mistakes, i.e. mis-count, etc. But numbers, statistics, are the best we have at coming close to perfection. So, according to additional research:  Endometriosis can first occur when girls first get their period. Endometriosis affects176 million women worldwide, and 1 in 10 girls and women in the US. Endometriosis usually causes symptoms during reproductive years (~12-60 years old), however many women and girls are undiagnosed.  The following additional statistics are from the CDC—centers for disease control website: Because some women might have endometriosis, but do not have symptoms, it is difficult to know exactly how many women have the condition. Current estimates suggest that 6% to 10% of women of reproductive age have endometriosis,1,2 or approximately 5 million women in the United States. In 2011, the NICHD-led Endometriosis: Natural History, Diagnosis, and Outcomes study found that 11% of a group of women with no symptoms of endometriosis actually had the disorder. If this finding applies to all the women in the United States, the number of American women with endometriosis may well exceed previous estimates of 5 million. Endometriosis is most common in women in their 30s and 40s,3 but it can affect any female who menstruates.    Information from the following links were used at least in part for my research:     http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/endometriosis/home/ovc-20236421    http://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/healthlibrary/conditions/gynecological_health/endometriosis_85,P00573/   http://www.acog.org/   https://www.cdc.gov/    https://www.cdc.gov/reproductivehealth/womensrh/healthconcerns.html    http://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/healthlibrary/conditions/gynecological_health/endometriosis_85,P00573/   Stories of interest from around the world:      http://www.graphic.com.gh/news/general-news/don-t-ridicule-childless-women.html    http://www.irishtimes.com/life-and-style/health-family/what-not-to-say-to-couples-who-don-t-have-children-1.3018634   https://www.rte.ie/entertainment/2017/0325/862542-dawn-oporter/     My contact information: Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.com Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan Twitter: @civilla1 Instagram: @joyandrelevance Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM   Please take a moment to take this survey! https://survey.libsyn.com/21stcenturyhannah   I was honored to be one of several female podcasters recognized by Podcast Movement during their Women's History Month celebration! copy/paste the link below in your browser for details!       http://podcastmovement.com/pm-celebrates-womens-history-month-she-podcasts/   “When someone tells you to just forget about it, ask them what they have forgotten.”—Civilla Morgan   Thanks for visiting! Until next time, bye! 

Episode 59—Endometriosis Hello everyone! WELCOME BACK TO 21ST CENTURY HANNAH, WHERE MY MISSION IS TO RECOGNIZE AND SPEAK TO THE BROKEN HEARTS OF CHILDLESS NOT BY CHOICE WOMEN, AND MEN, AROUND THE WORLD.  I AM SPREADING THE GREAT NEWS THAT WE CAN LIVE A JOYFUL AND RELEVANT LIFE REGARDLESS OF THE FACT THAT WE COULD NOT HAVE CHILDREN. Well, I appreciate your taking the time to listen in once again. Thank you to my repeat listeners. And if you are listening for the first time, I hope you will come back for another visit! Remember to tell your friends about the show, and feel free to share with your social media followers! I would appreciate that! Also, if you find value in the content of these podcast episodes, click on the donate button on the website! Donations go toward podcasting equipment and building out the platform to create online courses for women and men who are childless not by choice. I want to create courses that will take my demographic from hopelessness to healing. Well, today’s episode is all about Endometriosis. Endometriosis (en-doe-me-tree-O-sis) is an often painful disorder in which tissue that normally lines the inside of your uterus — the endometrium — grows outside your uterus. Endometriosis most commonly involves your ovaries, fallopian tubes, and the tissue lining your pelvis. Rarely, endometrial tissue may spread beyond pelvic organs. With endometriosis, displaced endometrial tissue continues to act as it normally would — it thickens, breaks down and bleeds with each menstrual cycle. Because this displaced tissue has no way to exit your body, it becomes trapped. When endometriosis involves the ovaries, cysts called endometriomas may form. Surrounding tissue can become irritated, eventually developing scar tissue and adhesions — abnormal bands of fibrous tissue that can cause pelvic tissues and organs to stick to each other. Endometriosis can cause pain — sometimes severe — especially during your period. Fertility problems also may develop. Surprise: Fortunately, effective treatments are available.  I did not realize that effective treatments were available. I honestly thought there was no effective treatment for Endometriosis.     Some things that surprised me: <ul> <li>The severity of your pain isn't necessarily a reliable indicator of the extent of the condition. Some women with mild endometriosis have intense pain, while others with advanced endometriosis may have little pain or even no pain at all.</li> <li>Endometriosis is sometimes mistaken for other conditions that can cause pelvic pain, such as pelvic inflammatory disease (PID) or ovarian cysts. It may be confused with irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), a condition that causes bouts of diarrhea, constipation and abdominal cramping. IBS can accompany endometriosis, which can complicate the diagnosis.</li> </ul> It’s really important to get a second opinion especially if you’re just not feeling that the diagnosis is correct. I truly believe, and I have said it before, no one knows your body better than you do. If you are not convinced about a diagnosis, get a second opinion.  Causes: Although the exact cause of endometriosis is not certain, possible explanations include: Retrograde menstruation.  Transformation of peritoneal cells.  Embryonic cell transformation.  Surgical scar implantation.  Endometrial cells transport.  Immune system disorder.  For additional details on each of these causes, see the Mayo Clinic article link in the show notes below. As I continued my research, I went next to the Hopkins Medicine site, link in the show notes, and found the following risk factors that could cause an increased possibility for a woman to have endometriosis: Risk Factors of Endometriosis They say that… While any woman may develop endometriosis, the following women seem to be at an increased risk for the disease: <ul> <li>Women who have a first-degree relative (mother, sister, daughter) with the disease</li> <li>Women who are giving birth for the first time after age 30</li> <li>White women</li> <li>Women with an abnormal uterus</li> </ul> Now the following information was of particular interest to me, and I am sure to those who have been diagnosed with Endometriosis: Relationship of Endometriosis to Infertility: Endometriosis is considered one of the three major causes of female infertility. According to the American Society for Reproductive Medicine, endometriosis can be found in 24 to 50 percent of women who experience infertility. In mild to moderate cases, the infertility may be temporary. In these cases, surgery to remove adhesions, cysts and scar tissue can restore fertility. In other cases — a very small percentage — women may remain infertile. (Hmmmm, kinda sounds like when they told me after one of my first myomectomies, ‘OK, we removed the fibroids, now go out and get pregnant before they grow back.’ Um, OK. Anyway... How endometriosis affects fertility is not clearly understood. It is thought that scar tissue from endometriosis can impair the release of the egg from the ovary and subsequent pickup by the fallopian tube. Other mechanisms thought to affect fertility include changes in the pelvic environment that results in impaired implantation of the fertilized egg. For additional information and ways to ease the pain, visit the link: Hopkins Medicine link below. Another site you may find helpful is the ACOG, American Congress of Obstetrics and Gynecologists. It’s a site that seems to be regularly updated with educational material and workshops. Check it out! So I love statistics because they tell a story in numbers. Yes, numbers can be skewed by human mistakes, i.e. mis-count, etc. But numbers, statistics, are the best we have at coming close to perfection. So, according to additional research: <ul> <li>Endometriosis can first occur when girls first get their period.</li> <li>Endometriosis affects176 million women worldwide, and 1 in 10 girls and women in the US.</li> <li>Endometriosis usually causes symptoms during reproductive years (~12-60 years old), however many women and girls are undiagnosed.</li> </ul> The following additional statistics are from the CDC—centers for disease control website: Because some women might have endometriosis, but do not have symptoms, it is difficult to know exactly how many women have the condition. Current estimates suggest that 6% to 10% of women of reproductive age have endometriosis,<a href="https://www.nichd.nih.gov/health/topics/endometri/conditioninfo/Pages/at-risk.aspx#1" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">1</a>,<a href="https://www.nichd.nih.gov/health/topics/endometri/conditioninfo/Pages/at-risk.aspx#2" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">2</a> or approximately 5 million women in the United States. In 2011, the NICHD-led <a href="https://www.nichd.nih.gov/about/org/diphr/od/research/Pages/endometriosis.aspx" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Endometriosis: Natural History, Diagnosis, and Outcomes study</a> found that 11% of a group of women with no symptoms of endometriosis actually had the disorder. If this finding applies to all the women in the United States, the number of American women with endometriosis may well exceed previous estimates of 5 million. Endometriosis is most common in women in their 30s and 40s,<a href="https://www.nichd.nih.gov/health/topics/endometri/conditioninfo/Pages/at-risk.aspx#3" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">3</a> but it can affect any female who menstruates.  Information from the following links were used at least in part for my research:  <a href="http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/endometriosis/home/ovc-20236421" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/endometriosis/home/ovc-20236421</a> <a href="http://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/healthlibrary/conditions/gynecological_health/endometriosis_85,P00573/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> http://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/healthlibrary/conditions/gynecological_health/endometriosis_85,P00573/</a> <a href="http://www.acog.org/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">http://www.acog.org/</a> <a href="https://www.cdc.gov/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.cdc.gov/</a> <a href="https://www.cdc.gov/reproductivehealth/womensrh/healthconcerns.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> https://www.cdc.gov/reproductivehealth/womensrh/healthconcerns.html</a> <a href="http://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/healthlibrary/conditions/gynecological_health/endometriosis_85,P00573/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> http://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/healthlibrary/conditions/gynecological_health/endometriosis_85,P00573/</a> Stories of interest from around the world:   <a href="http://www.graphic.com.gh/news/general-news/don-t-ridicule-childless-women.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> http://www.graphic.com.gh/news/general-news/don-t-ridicule-childless-women.html</a> <a href="http://www.irishtimes.com/life-and-style/health-family/what-not-to-say-to-couples-who-don-t-have-children-1.3018634" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> http://www.irishtimes.com/life-and-style/health-family/what-not-to-say-to-couples-who-don-t-have-children-1.3018634</a> <a href="https://www.rte.ie/entertainment/2017/0325/862542-dawn-oporter/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.rte.ie/entertainment/2017/0325/862542-dawn-oporter/</a> My contact information: Website: <a href="http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.childlessnotbychoice.net</a> and <a href="http://www.civillamorgan.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.civillamorgan.com</a> Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan Twitter: @civilla1 Instagram: @joyandrelevance Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM Please take a moment to take this survey! <a href="https://survey.libsyn.com/21stcenturyhannah" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://survey.libsyn.com/21stcenturyhannah</a> I was honored to be one of several female podcasters recognized by Podcast Movement during their Women's History Month celebration! copy/paste the link below in your browser for details!      <a href="http://podcastmovement.com/pm-celebrates-womens-history-month-she-podcasts/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">http://podcastmovement.com/pm-celebrates-womens-history-month-she-podcasts/</a> “When someone tells you to just forget about it, ask them what they have forgotten.”—Civilla Morgan Thanks for visiting! Until next time, bye!

Episode 59--Endometriosis

Hello everyone! Welcome back to Childless not by Choice, where my mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world. Civilla Morgan here. I am spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life, although we did not have the children we so wanted. If you are joining us for the first time, welcome! And thank you to everyone who recognizes that we are not all living the same type of life. Welcome to episode 104! Questions or comments? Contact me at: Email: Info@civillamorgan.com                                               Or  Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.  Well, I must give a shout out to my VIP’s!    My VIP’s are my Patreon contributors who have decided to financially support the Childless not by Choice Podcast and platform whether they fit the childless not by choice demographic or not. Their monthly contribution to the secure Patreon site helps finance the vision of creating conversation and awareness globally for and about the childless not by choice demographic. Click the Patreon link in the show notes for details and to become a Patron!)https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice     Jordan Morgan Ivy Calhoun Your Name Here   https://childlessnotbychoice.net/category/podcast/    Mailbag: I would also like to thank a wonderful listener from Scotland, Angela, for writing in: What a beautiful email I received just before Christmas.    Episode content: Here is the link to your 2019 Blueprint for your Goals and Visions: Click to create your personalized blueprint of what you want your 2019 to look like!  https://childlessnotbychoice.net/product/2019-blueprint-for-your-goals-and-visions/    Links to statistics:  https://www.statista.com/statistics/241535/percentage-of-childless-women-in-the-us-by-age/   Childlessness in the US:  https://www.statista.com/statistics/241538/percentage-of-childless-women-in-the-us-by-ethnic-group/  https://www.statista.com/statistics/268083/countries-with-the-lowest-fertility-rates/   Rest of the world:  https://www.statista.com/statistics/270164/fertility-rate-in-china/  https://www.statista.com/statistics/271309/fertility-rate-in-india/  https://www.statista.com/statistics/270088/fertility-rate-in-japan/  https://www.statista.com/statistics/271341/fertility-rate-in-russia/  https://www.statista.com/statistics/270362/fertility-rate-in-the-united-kingdom/  https://www.statista.com/statistics/422466/fertility-rate-in-nepal/  https://www.statista.com/statistics/276711/fertility-rate-in-the-netherlands/  https://www.statista.com/statistics/270466/fertility-rate-in-italy/  https://www.statista.com/statistics/270335/fertility-rate-in-france/  https://www.statista.com/statistics/275413/fertility-rate-in-mexico/    The psychological impact of childlessness--  http://www.ncmedicaljournal.com/content/77/6/427.short  https://academic.oup.com/humupd/article/14/6/605/633528  https://www.statista.com/statistics/241535/percentage-of-childless-women-in-the-us-by-age/  https://academic.oup.com/humupd/article/14/6/605/633528    Relevant episodes:  https://childlessnotbychoice.net/childless-not-by-choice-shame/  https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-101-ivf-versus-ptsd/  https://childlessnotbychoice.net/triggers-how-to-recognize-them-face-them-and-deal-with-them/  https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-72-male-and-childless-not-by-choice-my-interview-with-dr-robin-hadley/  https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-65-my-interview-with-mrs-maureen-hornstein/    ‘To recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.’   ‘Spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life’.   My contact information:Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.comFacebook: booksbycivillamorganTwitter: @civilla1Instagram: @joyandrelevancePinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSMLinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM   I would like to thank my sponsor Morgan Air Conditioning. Morgan Air can be reached by calling 813 500 7765.  Their email address is www. Morganair.net, that’s www.morganair.net. Along with a stellar business reputation in the Tampa, FL area, Morgan Air is  also known and well received for giving back to the Tampa, FL community whether it is back to school drives or donating services to the less fortunate. Thank you Morgan Air for recognizing the vision of Childless not by Choice, and being a part of it.   I would also like to thank Devoted, the musical duo who created my theme music. Thank you Devoted, for the beautiful theme music we use here at Childless not by Choice. Devoted has had the opportunity to sing and play in many countries. To learn more about Devoted, visit their website at www.devotedministry.org.   Thank you for listening to this episode of Childless not by Choice. Until next time! Bye!

Hello everyone! Welcome back to Childless not by Choice, where my mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world. Civilla Morgan here. I am spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life, although we did not have the children we so wanted. If you are joining us for the first time, welcome! And thank you to everyone who recognizes that we are not all living the same type of life. Welcome to episode 104! Questions or comments? Contact me at: Email: <a href="mailto:Info@civillamorgan.com">Info@civillamorgan.com</a>                                               Or  Visit the website at <a href="http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.childlessnotbychoice.net</a>, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail. Well, I must give a shout out to my VIP’s! <ul> <li>My VIP’s are my Patreon contributors who have decided to financially support the Childless not by Choice Podcast and platform whether they fit the childless not by choice demographic or not. Their monthly contribution to the secure Patreon site helps finance the vision of creating conversation and awareness globally for and about the childless not by choice demographic. Click the Patreon link in the show notes for details and to become a Patron!)<a href="https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice</a></li> </ul> <ul> <li>Jordan Morgan</li> <li>Ivy Calhoun</li> <li>Your Name Here </li> </ul> <a href="https://childlessnotbychoice.net/category/podcast/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://childlessnotbychoice.net/category/podcast/</a> Mailbag: I would also like to thank a wonderful listener from Scotland, Angela, for writing in: What a beautiful email I received just before Christmas. Episode content: Here is the link to your 2019 Blueprint for your Goals and Visions: Click to create your personalized blueprint of what you want your 2019 to look like! <a href="https://childlessnotbychoice.net/product/2019-blueprint-for-your-goals-and-visions/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> https://childlessnotbychoice.net/product/2019-blueprint-for-your-goals-and-visions/</a> Links to statistics: <a href="https://www.statista.com/statistics/241535/percentage-of-childless-women-in-the-us-by-age/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> https://www.statista.com/statistics/241535/percentage-of-childless-women-in-the-us-by-age/</a> Childlessness in the US: <a href="https://www.statista.com/statistics/241538/percentage-of-childless-women-in-the-us-by-ethnic-group/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> https://www.statista.com/statistics/241538/percentage-of-childless-women-in-the-us-by-ethnic-group/</a> <a href="https://www.statista.com/statistics/268083/countries-with-the-lowest-fertility-rates/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> https://www.statista.com/statistics/268083/countries-with-the-lowest-fertility-rates/</a> Rest of the world: <a href="https://www.statista.com/statistics/270164/fertility-rate-in-china/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> https://www.statista.com/statistics/270164/fertility-rate-in-china/</a> <a href="https://www.statista.com/statistics/271309/fertility-rate-in-india/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> https://www.statista.com/statistics/271309/fertility-rate-in-india/</a> <a href="https://www.statista.com/statistics/270088/fertility-rate-in-japan/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> https://www.statista.com/statistics/270088/fertility-rate-in-japan/</a> <a href="https://www.statista.com/statistics/271341/fertility-rate-in-russia/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> https://www.statista.com/statistics/271341/fertility-rate-in-russia/</a> <a href="https://www.statista.com/statistics/270362/fertility-rate-in-the-united-kingdom/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> https://www.statista.com/statistics/270362/fertility-rate-in-the-united-kingdom/</a> <a href="https://www.statista.com/statistics/422466/fertility-rate-in-nepal/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> https://www.statista.com/statistics/422466/fertility-rate-in-nepal/</a> <a href="https://www.statista.com/statistics/276711/fertility-rate-in-the-netherlands/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> https://www.statista.com/statistics/276711/fertility-rate-in-the-netherlands/</a> <a href="https://www.statista.com/statistics/270466/fertility-rate-in-italy/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> https://www.statista.com/statistics/270466/fertility-rate-in-italy/</a> <a href="https://www.statista.com/statistics/270335/fertility-rate-in-france/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> https://www.statista.com/statistics/270335/fertility-rate-in-france/</a> <a href="https://www.statista.com/statistics/275413/fertility-rate-in-mexico/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> https://www.statista.com/statistics/275413/fertility-rate-in-mexico/</a> The psychological impact of childlessness-- <a href="http://www.ncmedicaljournal.com/content/77/6/427.short" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> http://www.ncmedicaljournal.com/content/77/6/427.short</a> <a href="https://academic.oup.com/humupd/article/14/6/605/633528" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> https://academic.oup.com/humupd/article/14/6/605/633528</a> <a href="https://www.statista.com/statistics/241535/percentage-of-childless-women-in-the-us-by-age/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> https://www.statista.com/statistics/241535/percentage-of-childless-women-in-the-us-by-age/</a> <a href="https://academic.oup.com/humupd/article/14/6/605/633528" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> https://academic.oup.com/humupd/article/14/6/605/633528</a> Relevant episodes: <a href="https://childlessnotbychoice.net/childless-not-by-choice-shame/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> https://childlessnotbychoice.net/childless-not-by-choice-shame/</a> <a href="https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-101-ivf-versus-ptsd/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-101-ivf-versus-ptsd/</a> <a href="https://childlessnotbychoice.net/triggers-how-to-recognize-them-face-them-and-deal-with-them/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> https://childlessnotbychoice.net/triggers-how-to-recognize-them-face-them-and-deal-with-them/</a> <a href="https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-72-male-and-childless-not-by-choice-my-interview-with-dr-robin-hadley/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-72-male-and-childless-not-by-choice-my-interview-with-dr-robin-hadley/</a> <a href="https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-65-my-interview-with-mrs-maureen-hornstein/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-65-my-interview-with-mrs-maureen-hornstein/</a> ‘To recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.’ ‘Spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life’. My contact information:Website: <a href="http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.childlessnotbychoice.net</a> and www.civillamorgan.comFacebook: booksbycivillamorganTwitter: @civilla1Instagram: @joyandrelevancePinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSMLinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM I would like to thank my sponsor Morgan Air Conditioning. Morgan Air can be reached by calling 813 500 7765.  Their email address is www. <a href="http://Morganair.net" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Morganair.net</a>, that’s <a href="http://www.morganair.net" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.morganair.net</a>. Along with a stellar business reputation in the Tampa, FL area, Morgan Air is  also known and well received for giving back to the Tampa, FL community whether it is back to school drives or donating services to the less fortunate. Thank you Morgan Air for recognizing the vision of Childless not by Choice, and being a part of it. I would also like to thank Devoted, the musical duo who created my theme music. Thank you Devoted, for the beautiful theme music we use here at Childless not by Choice. Devoted has had the opportunity to sing and play in many countries. To learn more about Devoted, visit their website at <a href="http://www.devotedministry.org" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.devotedministry.org</a>. Thank you for listening to this episode of Childless not by Choice. Until next time! Bye!

Episode 104--Shame, Statistics, and Mental Health 

Hello everyone! Welcome back to Childless not by Choice, where my mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world. Civilla Morgan here. I am spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life! Welcome to episode 114!  Happy December! This episode is brought to you by the ‘Your Blueprint for your Goals and Visions’ program which can be found on the shop page of our website, www.childlessnotbychoice.net, It is literally a template, a blueprint that I created after years of researching how successful people plan for the new year. It’s simple. For a small investment in yourself this new year, download the template, fill in the blanks, and follow your decisions monthly, quarterly, bi-annually, and annually. The sooner you download the template, the sooner you can get a jump on the new year.  You have the freedom to tweak and change what you want in the template, but the key is to work with the template throughout the year, allowing it to help you.  You get to witness your own mental, emotional, spiritual, and even physical growth! Place your order on the website and get to work on you!    Patreon Contributors: I would like to thank my Patreon contributors. Remember, you may contribute via patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice, or you may go to the website and click on the donate button.  Your monthly contributions via Patreon or your one-time donations are appreciated and used to help the platform to get the word out. Thank you!   https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice  Jordan Morgan The Knights   Questions or comments? Contact me at: Email: Info@civillamorgan.com                                                Or Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail. It’s December! We are now smack dab in the middle of the Holiday Season, and 2019 is coming to a close! It’s been a tough year for many of us. I know some of us are ready to see it go bye-bye! If you are in the United States or you are an ex-pat, we celebrated Thanksgiving last month. I hope you had a wonderful family get together. And if you kept your own company, that’s great too. You know we introverts love our own company!   So, there are a lot of changes taking place. I am finding that losing a parent changes you to the core. From big things to little things.  The stages of grief are real. They are real no matter what or whom we grieve.  Remember, if you are grieving any type of loss, the holidays can tend to exacerbate those feelings. Here are just some of the things you can do to take the edge off whether you are navigating being childless during the holidays, or grieving the loss of a loved one:    Seek therapy, and try to do so well before the Holidays so you get a head start on the feelings and emotions the Holidays can manifest.  But either way, it is never too late to strengthen your mental health. Speak to a trusted friend or religious leader. Talking to a good listener is a great release.  Take a bubble bath and take a good book to read or listen to. Or take Netflix, Amazon Prime, or your favorite TV app and watch a great movie!  Don’t forget the Epsom salts and lavender!  Go for a walk along your favorite lakefront, street, or neighborhood.  Sit at the coffee shop with a good beverage and a nice book.   The key is to do these things right in the middle of the holidays.  Don’t worry about being judged because you will probably be judged anyway.  If you need to talk, be sure to join the Facebook group, Childless not by Choice with Civilla Morgan.  I will be in the Facebook group throughout the season. And of course, the other admins will be in there as well. Also, the other ladies in the group are quite friendly and responsive. If you are feeling alone, come over to the group. There will always be someone there to talk to.        Well, hopefully, you were not looking for October and November episodes. I took a much needed two-month hiatus. This just meant I used that time to work on this episode, content for 2020 episodes, work on my new limited-edition podcast, and the list goes on.  Yet, I appreciated the break. Thanks for understanding. In fact, I have decided that going forward, I will be taking October and November off. Sometimes it takes an overwhelming loss, and being overwhelmingly tired, to make a change you did not ever think you would. And those changes turn out to be just what was needed.  In fact, some podcasters operate in seasons, like a television show. I never wanted to do that. Maybe it was FOMO--fear of missing out. Maybe I felt like I did not have enough episodes in the library. Maybe I was competing with myself. At any rate, it was just such a great break! I will be taking October and November off each year, moving forward.   About the blog! It has been many months since I last blogged.  I did not realize how much I missed it! I will put a link in the show notes to my most recent blog, but I want to read a portion of it here if you don’t mind:          ‘Unfortunately, some people do not know how to either let kids be kids or move to another location, so they verbalize their aggravation, and that of course, can make most parents upset.  I believe even childless people know that children need room to grow physically, mentally, and emotionally.  If someone says something mean to a mother about her child, it still should not be assumed that person does not and should not have children. If that is the thought process, who is being mean now?      Look, I believe the reason society continues to propagate that mothers are more important than childless women is due to the innate need for humans to perpetuate the species. This means we will continue to hear mean spirited thoughts and belief systems spilling out of people’s mouths. They may not mean to be mean, in every instance. But the fact is, society tends to believe that once a woman has a child she is elevated to a special place, while childless women remain low on the totem pole. We are seen as society’s packing peanuts.’  Be sure to click the link in the show notes to read ‘the rest of the story!  So, here’s the thing, we are heading into another year!  2020! What would you like to peel off of your life and toss into the garbage this year? You probably have not quite thought about it that way have you? But we are all works in progress. At least we should be. There is no perfect, or completely ‘done’ human. We all have triggers, we all have doubts, we all have fears, we all have hopes and dreams. You may be thinking you are too old to dream. Or maybe you think it is too late for the dreams and plans you had.  But may I remind you that you can change your dreams. Not because you are wishy-washy, but because life has twists and turns. We can either work on navigating the twists and turns or stay stuck on what did not happen for us. Let’s not stay stuck there. Life is too short. Look, I have the same ups and downs you do. There are times, especially during the Holidays that I am surrounded by people I love, but I am lonely as all get out. And please, no attempts to set me up. I’m not interested. I am trying to make a point. We ALL have ups and downs. And I know this because we are all human, and the ups and downs are a part of the human condition. It is how we manage our ups and downs and not allowing life’s circumstances to manage us, which makes the difference. We have to practice recognizing triggers, recognizing when those negative feelings are coming for a visit, and turning them away at the door. We turn the negative feelings and triggers away at the door with the list of things I mentioned above, bubble baths, walks, talking to a trusted friend, seeing a therapist.  And knowing our strengths and weaknesses. Knowing whether or not we can go to a baby shower or to a children’s birthday party. The choice is all yours! If you never got the chance to listen, I will put a link to the episode on triggers in the show notes. Please listen to it. We all have triggers and the whole world will not know what triggers you. But when YOU know what triggers you, you will know how to manage those triggers so that you do not explode on those around you.  Look, we don’t want or need people to walk on eggshells around us. The goal is for us to get along without being made to feel less than by others or by ourselves.  So I am asking you, What changes would you like to make about you, for you, in 2020?           Thanks for tuning in today! Don’t forget to visit the Tee Public online merchandise store. There you will find content: t-shirts, hoodies, laptop cases, mugs, etc.with the Childless not by Choice logo! Every purchase means a contribution to the Childless not by Choice platform. Thank you!    Well, thanks for tuning in. See you next year! Bye!   Articles of interest:  https://www.getreligion.org/getreligion/2019/11/29/big-think-story-what-does-religion-have-to-do-with-slumping-global-birth-rates  https://yle.fi/uutiset/osasto/news/childlessness_trend_continues_in_finland/11082035   Advertisements and mentions:  https://www.bullhorn.fm/  https://childlessnotbychoice.net/product/2019-blueprint-for-your-goals-and-visions/  https://childlessnotbychoice.net/beware-here-comes-the-holidays/  https://childlessnotbychoice.net/triggers-how-to-recognize-them-face-them-and-deal-with-them/

Hello everyone! Welcome back to Childless not by Choice, where my mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world. Civilla Morgan here. I am spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life! Welcome to episode 114!  Happy December! This episode is brought to you by the ‘Your Blueprint for your Goals and Visions’ program which can be found on the shop page of our website, <a href="http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.childlessnotbychoice.net</a>, It is literally a template, a blueprint that I created after years of researching how successful people plan for the new year. It’s simple. For a small investment in yourself this new year, download the template, fill in the blanks, and follow your decisions monthly, quarterly, bi-annually, and annually. The sooner you download the template, the sooner you can get a jump on the new year.  You have the freedom to tweak and change what you want in the template, but the key is to work with the template throughout the year, allowing it to help you.  You get to witness your own mental, emotional, spiritual, and even physical growth! Place your order on the website and get to work on you!    Patreon Contributors: I would like to thank my Patreon contributors. Remember, you may contribute via <a href="http://patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice</a>, or you may go to the website and click on the donate button.  Your monthly contributions via Patreon or your one-time donations are appreciated and used to help the platform to get the word out. Thank you! <a href="https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice</a> <ul> <li>Jordan Morgan</li> <li>The Knights</li> </ul> Questions or comments? Contact me at: Email: <a href="mailto:Info@civillamorgan.com">Info@civillamorgan.com</a>                                                Or Visit the website at <a href="http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.childlessnotbychoice.net</a>, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail. It’s December! We are now smack dab in the middle of the Holiday Season, and 2019 is coming to a close! It’s been a tough year for many of us. I know some of us are ready to see it go bye-bye! If you are in the United States or you are an ex-pat, we celebrated Thanksgiving last month. I hope you had a wonderful family get together. And if you kept your own company, that’s great too. You know we introverts love our own company!  So, there are a lot of changes taking place. I am finding that losing a parent changes you to the core. From big things to little things.  The stages of grief are real. They are real no matter what or whom we grieve.  Remember, if you are grieving any type of loss, the holidays can tend to exacerbate those feelings. Here are just some of the things you can do to take the edge off whether you are navigating being childless during the holidays, or grieving the loss of a loved one: <ol> <li>Seek therapy, and try to do so well before the Holidays so you get a head start on the feelings and emotions the Holidays can manifest.  But either way, it is never too late to strengthen your mental health.</li> <li>Speak to a trusted friend or religious leader. Talking to a good listener is a great release. </li> <li>Take a bubble bath and take a good book to read or listen to. Or take Netflix, Amazon Prime, or your favorite TV app and watch a great movie!  Don’t forget the Epsom salts and lavender! </li> <li>Go for a walk along your favorite lakefront, street, or neighborhood. </li> <li>Sit at the coffee shop with a good beverage and a nice book. </li> </ol> The key is to do these things right in the middle of the holidays.  Don’t worry about being judged because you will probably be judged anyway.  If you need to talk, be sure to join the Facebook group, Childless not by Choice with Civilla Morgan.  I will be in the Facebook group throughout the season. And of course, the other admins will be in there as well. Also, the other ladies in the group are quite friendly and responsive. If you are feeling alone, come over to the group. There will always be someone there to talk to.        Well, hopefully, you were not looking for October and November episodes. I took a much needed two-month hiatus. This just meant I used that time to work on this episode, content for 2020 episodes, work on my new limited-edition podcast, and the list goes on.  Yet, I appreciated the break. Thanks for understanding. In fact, I have decided that going forward, I will be taking October and November off. Sometimes it takes an overwhelming loss, and being overwhelmingly tired, to make a change you did not ever think you would. And those changes turn out to be just what was needed.  In fact, some podcasters operate in seasons, like a television show. I never wanted to do that. Maybe it was FOMO--fear of missing out. Maybe I felt like I did not have enough episodes in the library. Maybe I was competing with myself. At any rate, it was just such a great break! I will be taking October and November off each year, moving forward.   About the blog! It has been many months since I last blogged.  I did not realize how much I missed it! I will put a link in the show notes to my most recent blog, but I want to read a portion of it here if you don’t mind:          ‘Unfortunately, some people do not know how to either let kids be kids or move to another location, so they verbalize their aggravation, and that of course, can make most parents upset.  I believe even childless people know that children need room to grow physically, mentally, and emotionally.  If someone says something mean to a mother about her child, it still should not be assumed that person does not and should not have children. If that is the thought process, who is being mean now?      Look, I believe the reason society continues to propagate that mothers are more important than childless women is due to the innate need for humans to perpetuate the species. This means we will continue to hear mean spirited thoughts and belief systems spilling out of people’s mouths. They may not mean to be mean, in every instance. But the fact is, society tends to believe that once a woman has a child she is elevated to a special place, while childless women remain low on the totem pole. We are seen as society’s packing peanuts.’  Be sure to click the link in the show notes to read ‘the rest of the story!  So, here’s the thing, we are heading into another year!  2020! What would you like to peel off of your life and toss into the garbage this year? You probably have not quite thought about it that way have you? But we are all works in progress. At least we should be. There is no perfect, or completely ‘done’ human. We all have triggers, we all have doubts, we all have fears, we all have hopes and dreams. You may be thinking you are too old to dream. Or maybe you think it is too late for the dreams and plans you had.  But may I remind you that you can change your dreams. Not because you are wishy-washy, but because life has twists and turns. We can either work on navigating the twists and turns or stay stuck on what did not happen for us. Let’s not stay stuck there. Life is too short. Look, I have the same ups and downs you do. There are times, especially during the Holidays that I am surrounded by people I love, but I am lonely as all get out. And please, no attempts to set me up. I’m not interested. I am trying to make a point. We ALL have ups and downs. And I know this because we are all human, and the ups and downs are a part of the human condition. It is how we manage our ups and downs and not allowing life’s circumstances to manage us, which makes the difference. We have to practice recognizing triggers, recognizing when those negative feelings are coming for a visit, and turning them away at the door. We turn the negative feelings and triggers away at the door with the list of things I mentioned above, bubble baths, walks, talking to a trusted friend, seeing a therapist.  And knowing our strengths and weaknesses. Knowing whether or not we can go to a baby shower or to a children’s birthday party. The choice is all yours! If you never got the chance to listen, I will put a link to the episode on triggers in the show notes. Please listen to it. We all have triggers and the whole world will not know what triggers you. But when YOU know what triggers you, you will know how to manage those triggers so that you do not explode on those around you.  Look, we don’t want or need people to walk on eggshells around us. The goal is for us to get along without being made to feel less than by others or by ourselves.  So I am asking you, What changes would you like to make about you, for you, in 2020?           Thanks for tuning in today! Don’t forget to visit the Tee Public online merchandise store. There you will find content: t-shirts, hoodies, laptop cases, mugs, etc.with the Childless not by Choice logo! Every purchase means a contribution to the Childless not by Choice platform. Thank you!  Well, thanks for tuning in. See you next year! Bye!  Articles of interest: <a href="https://www.getreligion.org/getreligion/2019/11/29/big-think-story-what-does-religion-have-to-do-with-slumping-global-birth-rates" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> https://www.getreligion.org/getreligion/2019/11/29/big-think-story-what-does-religion-have-to-do-with-slumping-global-birth-rates</a> <a href="https://yle.fi/uutiset/osasto/news/childlessness_trend_continues_in_finland/11082035" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> https://yle.fi/uutiset/osasto/news/childlessness_trend_continues_in_finland/11082035</a> Advertisements and mentions:  <a href="https://www.bullhorn.fm/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.bullhorn.fm/</a> <a href="https://childlessnotbychoice.net/product/2019-blueprint-for-your-goals-and-visions/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> https://childlessnotbychoice.net/product/2019-blueprint-for-your-goals-and-visions/</a> <a href="https://childlessnotbychoice.net/beware-here-comes-the-holidays/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> https://childlessnotbychoice.net/beware-here-comes-the-holidays/</a> <a href="https://childlessnotbychoice.net/triggers-how-to-recognize-them-face-them-and-deal-with-them/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> https://childlessnotbychoice.net/triggers-how-to-recognize-them-face-them-and-deal-with-them/</a>

Episode 114--The Holidays, The Loneliest Time of the Year

Hello everyone! Welcome back to Childless not by Choice, where my mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world. Civilla Morgan here. I am spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life, although we did not have the children we so wanted. I am also reaching out to everyone who recognizes that we are not all living the same type of life. Welcome to episode 99! I would like to thank my sponsor Morgan Air Conditioning. Morgan Air can be reached by calling 813 500 7765.  Their email address is www. Morganair.net Along with a stellar business reputation in the Tampa, FL area, Morgan Air is also known and well received for giving back to the Tampa, FL community whether it is back to school drives or donating services to the less fortunate. Thank you Morgan Air for recognizing the vision of Childless not by Choice, and being a part of it.  I have some VIP’s I need to give a shout out to!  Patreon Contributors: (Patreon contributors are those who have taken an interest in my platform whether they fit the childless not by choice demographic or not. They have decided to contribute a certain dollar amount on a monthly basis to help maintain our platform and podcast. Click the Patreon link for details and to become a Patron!) https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice    Jordan Morgan Ivy Calhoun Your Name Here   Episodes mentioned:  https://childlessnotbychoice.net/childless-not-by-choice-shame/  https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-88-finding-hope-today-my-interview-with-licensed-therapist-christy-jordan/   Special thank you to: Devoted, the musical duo who created my theme music. Thank you Devoted, for the beautiful theme music we use here at Childless not by Choice. Devoted has had the opportunity to sing and play in many countries. To learn more about Devoted, visit their website at www.devotedministry.org.  My contact information:Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.comFacebook: booksbycivillamorganTwitter: @civilla1Instagram: @joyandrelevancePinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSMLinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSMIf you would like to become a one time or ongoing sponsor, or if you would like to advertise your business or an upcoming event, contact me at info@civillamorgan.com for details. Remember, subscription to the podcast is free. Simply go to Apple Podcast, or any of the following apps: Stitcher, Spotify, Overcast, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Search for Childless not by Choice, and hit the subscribe button. It’s that easy! Well, thank you for listening to this episode of Childless not by Choice! Until next time! Bye!  ‘To recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.’  ‘Spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life’.

Hello everyone! Welcome back to Childless not by Choice, where my mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world. Civilla Morgan here. I am spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life, although we did not have the children we so wanted. I am also reaching out to everyone who recognizes that we are not all living the same type of life. Welcome to episode 99! I would like to thank my sponsor Morgan Air Conditioning. Morgan Air can be reached by calling 813 500 7765.  Their email address is www. <a href="http://Morganair.net" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Morganair.net</a> Along with a stellar business reputation in the Tampa, FL area, Morgan Air is also known and well received for giving back to the Tampa, FL community whether it is back to school drives or donating services to the less fortunate. Thank you Morgan Air for recognizing the vision of Childless not by Choice, and being a part of it. I have some VIP’s I need to give a shout out to! <ul> <li>Patreon Contributors: (Patreon contributors are those who have taken an interest in my platform whether they fit the childless not by choice demographic or not. They have decided to contribute a certain dollar amount on a monthly basis to help maintain our platform and podcast. Click the Patreon link for details and to become a Patron!) <a href="https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice</a> </li> </ul> <ul> <li>Jordan Morgan</li> <li>Ivy Calhoun</li> <li>Your Name Here</li> </ul> Episodes mentioned: <a href="https://childlessnotbychoice.net/childless-not-by-choice-shame/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> https://childlessnotbychoice.net/childless-not-by-choice-shame/</a> <a href="https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-88-finding-hope-today-my-interview-with-licensed-therapist-christy-jordan/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-88-finding-hope-today-my-interview-with-licensed-therapist-christy-jordan/</a> Special thank you to: Devoted, the musical duo who created my theme music. Thank you Devoted, for the beautiful theme music we use here at Childless not by Choice. Devoted has had the opportunity to sing and play in many countries. To learn more about Devoted, visit their website at <a href="http://www.devotedministry.org" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.devotedministry.org</a>. My contact information:Website: <a href="http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.childlessnotbychoice.net</a> and www.civillamorgan.comFacebook: booksbycivillamorganTwitter: @civilla1Instagram: @joyandrelevancePinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSMLinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSMIf you would like to become a one time or ongoing sponsor, or if you would like to advertise your business or an upcoming event, contact me at <a href="mailto:info@civillamorgan.com">info@civillamorgan.com</a> for details. Remember, subscription to the podcast is free. Simply go to Apple Podcast, or any of the following apps: Stitcher, Spotify, Overcast, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Search for Childless not by Choice, and hit the subscribe button. It’s that easy! Well, thank you for listening to this episode of Childless not by Choice! Until next time! Bye! ‘To recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.’  ‘Spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life’.

Episode 99--Childless not by Choice woman gets raw and real

Hello there, it’s me, Civilla! Welcome back to Childless not by Choice, where my mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world. So, here’s the thing: I am in search of new music. I’ve been thinking of writing something myself, or just search for something to buy. Not sure yet, but for now, no music on the intro or outro. I guess you are witnessing a transformation right here on the platform huh? Wherever the music comes from, I will know it when I hear it.  Well, welcome to episode 113!    ‘eclectic, encouraging, engaging!'   We have a lot to talk about today, so let’s get started!    Today’s show is about:      How are you doing wherever you are on your journey?   Units   Bullhorn   The 10 silly things people say when you lose a loved one...and the things that could be said.   In a different place now after losing my mother.     Remember to go to Apple podcast to rate and review this podcast.    Patreon Contributors: I would also like to thank my Patreon contributors for their monthly financial contribution to the platform. Whether you contribute via patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice, or you go to the website and contribute via that Donate button, your contributions are appreciated and used to help the platform to get the word out. Thank you!     https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice  Jordan Morgan Sandra Carzado Your Name Here      Questions or comments? Contact me at:    Email: civilla@civillamorgan.com                                                  Or   Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.   Bullhorn-https://bullhorn.fm/   The short conversation I had with the Bullhorn representative at Podcast Movement was eye-opening! My takeaway was that anyone anywhere in the world can listen regardless of access to bandwidth or not. Because you don’t need bandwidth! What!?   My contact information:Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.comFacebook: booksbycivillamorganTwitter: @civilla1Instagram: @joyandrelevancePinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSMLinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSMhttps://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice If you would like to become a one time or ongoing sponsor, or if you would like to advertise your business or an upcoming event, contact me at info@civillamorgan.com for details.    Remember, subscription to the podcast is free. Simply go to Apple Podcast, Stitcher Radio, Spotify, Overcast, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Search for Childless not by Choice, and hit the subscribe button. It’s that easy!  ‘To recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.’   ‘Spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life’.   Well, thank you for listening to this episode of Childless not by Choice! Until next time! Bye!

Hello there, it’s me, Civilla! Welcome back to Childless not by Choice, where my mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world. So, here’s the thing: I am in search of new music. I’ve been thinking of writing something myself, or just search for something to buy. Not sure yet, but for now, no music on the intro or outro. I guess you are witnessing a transformation right here on the platform huh? Wherever the music comes from, I will know it when I hear it.  Well, welcome to episode 113!  ‘eclectic, encouraging, engaging!' We have a lot to talk about today, so let’s get started!  Today’s show is about: <ul> <li>How are you doing wherever you are on your journey?</li> </ul> <ul> <li>Units</li> </ul> <ul> <li>Bullhorn</li> </ul> <ul> <li>The 10 silly things people say when you lose a loved one...and the things that could be said.</li> </ul> <ul> <li>In a different place now after losing my mother.</li> </ul> <ul> <li>Remember to go to Apple podcast to rate and review this podcast.</li> </ul> Patreon Contributors: I would also like to thank my Patreon contributors for their monthly financial contribution to the platform. Whether you contribute via <a href="http://patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice</a>, or you go to the website and contribute via that Donate button, your contributions are appreciated and used to help the platform to get the word out. Thank you! <a href="https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice</a> <ul> <li>Jordan Morgan</li> <li>Sandra Carzado</li> <li>Your Name Here </li> </ul> <ul> <li>Questions or comments? Contact me at:</li> </ul> Email: civilla<a href="mailto:Info@civillamorgan.com">@civillamorgan.com</a>                                                Or Visit the website at <a href="http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.childlessnotbychoice.net</a>, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail. Bullhorn-<a href="https://bullhorn.fm/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://bullhorn.fm/</a> The short conversation I had with the Bullhorn representative at Podcast Movement was eye-opening! My takeaway was that anyone anywhere in the world can listen regardless of access to bandwidth or not. Because you don’t need bandwidth! What!? My contact information:Website: <a href="http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.childlessnotbychoice.net</a> and www.civillamorgan.comFacebook: booksbycivillamorganTwitter: @civilla1Instagram: @joyandrelevancePinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSMLinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM<a href="https://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice </a>If you would like to become a one time or ongoing sponsor, or if you would like to advertise your business or an upcoming event, contact me at <a href="mailto:info@civillamorgan.com">info@civillamorgan.com</a> for details.  Remember, subscription to the podcast is free. Simply go to Apple Podcast, Stitcher Radio, Spotify, Overcast, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Search for Childless not by Choice, and hit the subscribe button. It’s that easy!  ‘To recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.’ ‘Spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life’. Well, thank you for listening to this episode of Childless not by Choice! Until next time! Bye!

Episode 113--Eclectic, Encouraging, Engaging! 

Hello everyone! Welcome back to Childless not by Choice, where my mission is to recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.  Civilla Morgan here. I am spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life, although we could not, did not, have the children we so wanted. Welcome to episode 94!•Patreon Contributors: (Patreon contributors are those who have taken an interest in my platform whether they fit the childless not by choice demographic or not. They have decided to contribute a certain dollar amount on a regular basis to help fund my dream of creating awareness and conversation for the childless not by choice community globally. Click the Patreon link for details and to become a Patron!)https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice  Jordan Morgan Ivy Calhoun Your Name Here    Discuss www.civillamorgan.com  I am available for speaking engagements. I am available for one on one conversations on whether or not podcasting is good for your brand. I have an affiliate link if you are interested in Podcast Movement events!    Episode content: As I did the research for this episode, I realized there are quite a few types of triggers! Of course, because our podcast concentrates on childlessness not by choice, I am always concentrating on the triggers that affect us. The negative things people say and do to highlight our childlessness, whether unknowingly or on purpose.   But research showed that there are of course sexual assault triggers, there are PTSD triggers, there are emotional triggers, and the list goes on. But then there are also what I call individual triggers. For instance if as a child, you were abandoned by your parents whether literally or figuratively; as an adult, you can have abandonment triggers where if you are stood up for a date or someone does not return your phone calls or no longer wants to be your friend, you may not handle the separation or feelings of separation very well.     Another ‘individual’ trigger might be having to endure the silent treatment as a child. If a parent were mad at you they would stop talking to you for a certain amount of time. As an adult, this silent treatment by a spouse or co-worker can create a triggering event. What I noticed with many of these examples were that they were created in childhood. This is where I believe our triggers as childless not by choice women may be different.  Our triggers happen once we are adults and hoping to be able to start a family, only to find out that we will never have the family we desired. We find out typically after a doctor’s appointment where we hear the bad news that we have been diagnosed with--insert diagnosis here--.   We then start to navigate a new journey, one we did not expect to have to. We slowly come to the realization that having children was never a guarantee. It took me a long time to come to that realization!   Yes, I know there are some women who knew when they were children that they would not be having any of their own. Typically because of something that happened to them as children or something they witnessed. Again, there is that common denominator: a childhood event.   But I still believe childless not by choice triggers are an adult event. So what are examples of childless not by choice triggers? These are based on personal experience as well as the experiences childless not by choice women have advised in our group, that they have experienced:  Family members call out your childlessness in public by asking when you will be having children, advising you they are waiting for the next baby. Family and friends who allowed you to have a relationship with their children, and then out of the clear blue stopped the relationship from continuing. Family and friends who make passive aggressive comments about your childlessness. Strangers who ask if you have children and then prolong your response with their heartless or thoughtless commentary.    These are just a few examples.  But the fact is, when any of these things happen, depending on where a childless not by choice woman or man may be in their journey, this type of commentary can send someone into a tailspin lasting a day or more.   Those of us who have decided to deal with our triggers may not be sent into such a tailspin. We recognize the commentary as a pinprick to the heart versus a horse kick to the heart, as Jody Day so eloquently put it in episode 90:  http://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-90-my-interview-with-jody-day-founder-of-gateway-women/   So how does one get from a days-long tailspin to a temporary pin prick when dealing with triggers? I have said it in previous episodes, but here it is in a nutshell, based on a Google search:  ‘First step is to beware of your triggers. Next, recognize when the wave is beginning. Take some simple steps like stopping what you are doing breathe deeply for 5–10 breaths to regain some emotional control. You can teach yourself to limit your emotions.’--Google.   Three questions to consider as you begin to face your triggers: What are your triggers? How do you feel when they take place? How long do these feelings last?  This is an important step. In fact, think about these three question above before a triggering event, when you are in a calm place.  When you do this, you have faced the monster!   Next step: Remember, there is no way to avoid the triggers. In fact, it is not healthy. If you feel you cannot face the trigger or triggers alone, please see a therapist. Once you make the decision to face these triggers, you will feel a weight lift off of your shoulders. You are basically admitting to yourself that you have triggers surrounding your childlessness, and what those triggers are.     When you admit these things to yourself, they are actually a strengthener to your psyche and even to your character. Remember, you cannot control how someone else treats you, but you can control your reaction to that treatment. When someone says or does something that could trigger you, and you have taken steps toward facing, recognizing, and dealing with said triggers; there is no way those triggers can affect you the same way as if you had not begun to deal with your triggers.   Can you see how important it is to face and deal with your triggers? It is very important. It will take time for you to get from days long tailspins to minutes long pinpricks, but it can happen. It all starts with you.  Isn’t that usually the case?  Be sure to check out the links I listed below.  They were used as research for this episode. I especially liked the article on the Psych Central website, ‘What is a Trigger? By U. of Alberta, Sexual Assault Centre’.   Articles and sites used for the research of this episode: https://psychcentral.com/lib/what-is-a-trigger/  https://www.wikihow.com/Handle-Unavoidable-Anxiety-Triggers  https://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-18348/what-are-emotional-triggers-why-you-need-to-understand-them.html   My contact information:Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.comFacebook: booksbycivillamorganTwitter: @civilla1Instagram: @joyandrelevancePinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSMLinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSMPlease help me out by taking this very short survey!https://survey.libsyn.com/21stcenturyhannah  Thank you for listening to this episode of Childless not by Choice. I appreciate it!Until next time! Bye!   ‘To recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless, not by choice women, and men, around the world.’  ‘Spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life’.

Hello everyone! Welcome back to Childless not by Choice, where my mission is to recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.  Civilla Morgan here. I am spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life, although we could not, did not, have the children we so wanted. Welcome to episode 94!•Patreon Contributors: (Patreon contributors are those who have taken an interest in my platform whether they fit the childless not by choice demographic or not. They have decided to contribute a certain dollar amount on a regular basis to help fund my dream of creating awareness and conversation for the childless not by choice community globally. Click the Patreon link for details and to become a Patron!)<a href="https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice</a> <ul> <li>Jordan Morgan</li> <li>Ivy Calhoun</li> <li>Your Name Here</li> </ul> Discuss <a href="http://www.civillamorgan.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.civillamorgan.com</a> <ul> <li>I am available for speaking engagements.</li> <li>I am available for one on one conversations on whether or not podcasting is good for your brand.</li> <li>I have an affiliate link if you are interested in Podcast Movement events!</li> </ul> Episode content: As I did the research for this episode, I realized there are quite a few types of triggers! Of course, because our podcast concentrates on childlessness not by choice, I am always concentrating on the triggers that affect us. The negative things people say and do to highlight our childlessness, whether unknowingly or on purpose. But research showed that there are of course sexual assault triggers, there are PTSD triggers, there are emotional triggers, and the list goes on. But then there are also what I call individual triggers. For instance if as a child, you were abandoned by your parents whether literally or figuratively; as an adult, you can have abandonment triggers where if you are stood up for a date or someone does not return your phone calls or no longer wants to be your friend, you may not handle the separation or feelings of separation very well.   Another ‘individual’ trigger might be having to endure the silent treatment as a child. If a parent were mad at you they would stop talking to you for a certain amount of time. As an adult, this silent treatment by a spouse or co-worker can create a triggering event. What I noticed with many of these examples were that they were created in childhood. This is where I believe our triggers as childless not by choice women may be different.  Our triggers happen once we are adults and hoping to be able to start a family, only to find out that we will never have the family we desired. We find out typically after a doctor’s appointment where we hear the bad news that we have been diagnosed with--insert diagnosis here--. We then start to navigate a new journey, one we did not expect to have to. We slowly come to the realization that having children was never a guarantee. It took me a long time to come to that realization! Yes, I know there are some women who knew when they were children that they would not be having any of their own. Typically because of something that happened to them as children or something they witnessed. Again, there is that common denominator: a childhood event. But I still believe childless not by choice triggers are an adult event. So what are examples of childless not by choice triggers? These are based on personal experience as well as the experiences childless not by choice women have advised in our group, that they have experienced: <ul> <li>Family members call out your childlessness in public by asking when you will be having children, advising you they are waiting for the next baby.</li> <li>Family and friends who allowed you to have a relationship with their children, and then out of the clear blue stopped the relationship from continuing.</li> <li>Family and friends who make passive aggressive comments about your childlessness.</li> <li>Strangers who ask if you have children and then prolong your response with their heartless or thoughtless commentary.</li> </ul> These are just a few examples.  But the fact is, when any of these things happen, depending on where a childless not by choice woman or man may be in their journey, this type of commentary can send someone into a tailspin lasting a day or more.   Those of us who have decided to deal with our triggers may not be sent into such a tailspin. We recognize the commentary as a pinprick to the heart versus a horse kick to the heart, as Jody Day so eloquently put it in episode 90: <a href="http://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-90-my-interview-with-jody-day-founder-of-gateway-women/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> http://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-90-my-interview-with-jody-day-founder-of-gateway-women/</a> So how does one get from a days-long tailspin to a temporary pin prick when dealing with triggers? I have said it in previous episodes, but here it is in a nutshell, based on a Google search: ‘First step is to beware of your triggers. Next, recognize when the wave is beginning. Take some simple steps like stopping what you are doing breathe deeply for 5–10 breaths to regain some emotional control. You can teach yourself to limit your emotions.’--Google. Three questions to consider as you begin to face your triggers: What are your triggers? How do you feel when they take place? How long do these feelings last? This is an important step. In fact, think about these three question above before a triggering event, when you are in a calm place.  When you do this, you have faced the monster! Next step: Remember, there is no way to avoid the triggers. In fact, it is not healthy. If you feel you cannot face the trigger or triggers alone, please see a therapist. Once you make the decision to face these triggers, you will feel a weight lift off of your shoulders. You are basically admitting to yourself that you have triggers surrounding your childlessness, and what those triggers are.   When you admit these things to yourself, they are actually a strengthener to your psyche and even to your character. Remember, you cannot control how someone else treats you, but you can control your reaction to that treatment. When someone says or does something that could trigger you, and you have taken steps toward facing, recognizing, and dealing with said triggers; there is no way those triggers can affect you the same way as if you had not begun to deal with your triggers. Can you see how important it is to face and deal with your triggers? It is very important. It will take time for you to get from days long tailspins to minutes long pinpricks, but it can happen. It all starts with you.  Isn’t that usually the case? Be sure to check out the links I listed below.  They were used as research for this episode. I especially liked the article on the Psych Central website, ‘What is a Trigger? By <a href="https://psychcentral.com/lib/author/ualberta/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">U. of Alberta, Sexual Assault Centre’.</a> Articles and sites used for the research of this episode: <a href="https://psychcentral.com/lib/what-is-a-trigger/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://psychcentral.com/lib/what-is-a-trigger/</a> <a href="https://www.wikihow.com/Handle-Unavoidable-Anxiety-Triggers" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> https://www.wikihow.com/Handle-Unavoidable-Anxiety-Triggers</a> <a href="https://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-18348/what-are-emotional-triggers-why-you-need-to-understand-them.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> https://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-18348/what-are-emotional-triggers-why-you-need-to-understand-them.html</a> My contact information:Website: <a href="http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.childlessnotbychoice.net</a> and www.civillamorgan.comFacebook: booksbycivillamorganTwitter: @civilla1Instagram: @joyandrelevancePinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSMLinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSMPlease help me out by taking this very short survey!<a href="https://survey.libsyn.com/21stcenturyhannah" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://survey.libsyn.com/21stcenturyhannah </a>Thank you for listening to this episode of Childless not by Choice. I appreciate it!Until next time! Bye! ‘To recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless, not by choice women, and men, around the world.’  ‘Spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life’.

Episode 94--Triggers: how to recognize them, face, them, and deal with them!

Kate Kaufmann

Intro: Hello everyone! Welcome back to Childless not by Choice, where my mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world. Civilla Morgan here. I am spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life, although we did not have the children we so wanted. I would also like to thank everyone who recognizes that we are not all living the same type of life. Welcome to episode 109!  Questions or comments? Contact me at:   Email: Info@civillamorgan.com                                                 Or   Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me a voicemail. You have 90 seconds!   Patreon Contributors: I would also like to thank my Patreon contributor Ivy Calhoun for her monthly financial contribution to the platform. Whether you contribute via patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice, or you go to the website and contribute via PayPal, your contributions are appreciated and used to help the platform get the word out. Thank you!  https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice  Jordan Morgan Ivy Calhoun Sandra Carzado Your Name Here    Intro:    Body of episode content: On the introduction page 12, you say... Can you talk to the childless not by choice woman who may be dwelling on the fact that she did not have children, she did not experience pregnancy or teen curfews, about how she can feel empowered in helping an absolute stranger go through college, or become a lifelong learner and teacher; how to accept her capacity to manage her life of ‘more freedom’ without feeling like she needs to answer to society about what she is doing with her time and money?  This may be a bit of a follow up to the previous question, but you say on... ‘our impact on the world is enormous but often understated.’  As I read that passage I thought about two Prime Ministers who are childless: Theresa May of The United Kingdom and Australia’s former Prime Minister Julia Gillard. Probably for different reasons, but the fact is they are childless. And whether one agrees with their politics or not, the fact is they are childless and leaving a footprint. But they have gotten so much flack for being childless. How do you think those of us who are not so high profile can deal with society’s backlash?   Your Introduction section can be a book unto itself! 14 ‘Who mentors a non-mom?’ I truly believe that is where and why Community is so important? As I read your book, I felt a sense of large scale community, it felt truly global, probably in part because the book reflects your travels as you interviewed and spoke with childless women--by choice or not. Could you describe community to us?   Pg. 8--Ch.1-- These are the things society just generally does not think about. And if we allow society to not think of these things, we allow them to treat us like second class or unimportant citizens on life’s journey. How do we get them to see such intricacies without creating a sob story with every interaction we have?     Pg. 34--Now I was really surprised by that statistic. It has never crossed my mind to witness a birth, and honestly, I have no interest. I just think it would make me dwell even more on what I did not get.  Seriously, none of these women felt a pang of jealousy, sadness, ‘why not me?’   In chapter five where you beautifully but in a bittersweet way describe the end of your marriage, you talk about how important it is for us to consider how we define family. How our boundaries are shaped. Because proper boundaries are important to our mental and emotional health, childless or not. But as childless not by choice women we get to choose don’t we?   (pg. 141) What I really loved about the book was how you incorporated the many facets of our humanity--childless, childfree, dreams and aspirations, what did and did not happen for us, our religious beliefs (thinking about Marianne’s story which intrigued me because I grew up in church), or not; planning for our elder years, all of these things remind us how three-dimensional we all are. As human beings, we all belong to multiple demographics and those who refuse to acknowledge that we are all more than our visible demographic tend to see us as one dimensional any way.  But we are more than our childlessness aren’t we?   Any closing thoughts, anything you would really like to cover before we sign off?          Kate Kaufmann’s Contact Info: katekaufmann.com   Articles you may find interesting:  https://www.heraldscotland.com/arts_ents/17644303.we-are-a-pro-natalist-society-lorna-gibb-on-living-without-children/    https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-90-my-interview-with-jody-day-founder-of-gateway-women/    https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-105-my-interview-with-pamela-mahoney-tsigdinos/       Special thank you to:   Thank you Devoted, for the beautiful theme music we use here at Childless not by Choice. Devoted has had the opportunity to sing and play in many countries. To learn more about Devoted, including their concert schedule, visit their website at www.devotedministry.org.   My contact information:Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.comFacebook: booksbycivillamorganTwitter: @civilla1Instagram: @joyandrelevancePinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSMLinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSMhttps://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice If you would like to become a one time or ongoing sponsor, or if you would like to advertise your business or an upcoming event, contact me at info@civillamorgan.com for details.   Remember, subscription to the podcast is free. Simply go to Apple Podcast, Stitcher Radio, Spotify, Overcast, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Search for Childless not by Choice, and hit the subscribe button. It’s that easy! Well, thank you for listening to this episode of Childless not by Choice! Until next time! Bye!   ‘To recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.’   ‘Spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life’.

Intro: Hello everyone! Welcome back to Childless not by Choice, where my mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world. Civilla Morgan here. I am spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life, although we did not have the children we so wanted. I would also like to thank everyone who recognizes that we are not all living the same type of life. Welcome to episode 109!  Questions or comments? Contact me at: Email: <a href="mailto:Info@civillamorgan.com">Info@civillamorgan.com</a>                                               Or Visit the website at <a href="http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.childlessnotbychoice.net</a>, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me a voicemail. You have 90 seconds! Patreon Contributors: I would also like to thank my Patreon contributor Ivy Calhoun for her monthly financial contribution to the platform. Whether you contribute via <a href="http://patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice</a>, or you go to the website and contribute via PayPal, your contributions are appreciated and used to help the platform get the word out. Thank you! <a href="https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice</a> <ul> <li>Jordan Morgan</li> <li>Ivy Calhoun</li> <li>Sandra Carzado</li> <li>Your Name Here</li> </ul> Intro:  Body of episode content: On the introduction page 12, you say... Can you talk to the childless not by choice woman who may be dwelling on the fact that she did not have children, she did not experience pregnancy or teen curfews, about how she can feel empowered in helping an absolute stranger go through college, or become a lifelong learner and teacher; how to accept her capacity to manage her life of ‘more freedom’ without feeling like she needs to answer to society about what she is doing with her time and money? This may be a bit of a follow up to the previous question, but you say on... ‘our impact on the world is enormous but often understated.’  As I read that passage I thought about two Prime Ministers who are childless: Theresa May of The United Kingdom and Australia’s former Prime Minister Julia Gillard. Probably for different reasons, but the fact is they are childless. And whether one agrees with their politics or not, the fact is they are childless and leaving a footprint. But they have gotten so much flack for being childless. How do you think those of us who are not so high profile can deal with society’s backlash? Your Introduction section can be a book unto itself! 14 ‘Who mentors a non-mom?’ I truly believe that is where and why Community is so important? As I read your book, I felt a sense of large scale community, it felt truly global, probably in part because the book reflects your travels as you interviewed and spoke with childless women--by choice or not. Could you describe community to us? Pg. 8--Ch.1-- These are the things society just generally does not think about. And if we allow society to not think of these things, we allow them to treat us like second class or unimportant citizens on life’s journey. How do we get them to see such intricacies without creating a sob story with every interaction we have?   Pg. 34--Now I was really surprised by that statistic. It has never crossed my mind to witness a birth, and honestly, I have no interest. I just think it would make me dwell even more on what I did not get.  Seriously, none of these women felt a pang of jealousy, sadness, ‘why not me?’ In chapter five where you beautifully but in a bittersweet way describe the end of your marriage, you talk about how important it is for us to consider how we define family. How our boundaries are shaped. Because proper boundaries are important to our mental and emotional health, childless or not. But as childless not by choice women we get to choose don’t we? (pg. 141) What I really loved about the book was how you incorporated the many facets of our humanity--childless, childfree, dreams and aspirations, what did and did not happen for us, our religious beliefs (thinking about Marianne’s story which intrigued me because I grew up in church), or not; planning for our elder years, all of these things remind us how three-dimensional we all are. As human beings, we all belong to multiple demographics and those who refuse to acknowledge that we are all more than our visible demographic tend to see us as one dimensional any way.  But we are more than our childlessness aren’t we? Any closing thoughts, anything you would really like to cover before we sign off?        Kate Kaufmann’s Contact Info: <a href="http://katekaufmann.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">katekaufmann.com</a> Articles you may find interesting: <a href="https://www.heraldscotland.com/arts_ents/17644303.we-are-a-pro-natalist-society-lorna-gibb-on-living-without-children/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> https://www.heraldscotland.com/arts_ents/17644303.we-are-a-pro-natalist-society-lorna-gibb-on-living-without-children/</a> <a href="https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-90-my-interview-with-jody-day-founder-of-gateway-women/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-90-my-interview-with-jody-day-founder-of-gateway-women/</a> <a href="https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-105-my-interview-with-pamela-mahoney-tsigdinos/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-105-my-interview-with-pamela-mahoney-tsigdinos/</a> Special thank you to: Thank you Devoted, for the beautiful theme music we use here at Childless not by Choice. Devoted has had the opportunity to sing and play in many countries. To learn more about Devoted, including their concert schedule, visit their website at <a href="http://www.devotedministry.org" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.devotedministry.org</a>. My contact information:Website: <a href="http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.childlessnotbychoice.net</a> and www.civillamorgan.comFacebook: booksbycivillamorganTwitter: @civilla1Instagram: @joyandrelevancePinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSMLinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM<a href="https://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice </a>If you would like to become a one time or ongoing sponsor, or if you would like to advertise your business or an upcoming event, contact me at <a href="mailto:info@civillamorgan.com">info@civillamorgan.com</a> for details. Remember, subscription to the podcast is free. Simply go to Apple Podcast, Stitcher Radio, Spotify, Overcast, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Search for Childless not by Choice, and hit the subscribe button. It’s that easy! Well, thank you for listening to this episode of Childless not by Choice! Until next time! Bye! ‘To recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.’ ‘Spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life’.

Episode 109--'Life when the answer is no' ,My interview with Kate Kaufmann

Hello everyone! Welcome back to Childless not by Choice, where my mission is to recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.  Civilla Morgan here. I am spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life, although we could not, did not, have the children we so wanted. •Patreon Contributors: (Patreon contributors are those who have taken an interest in my platform whether they fit the childless not by choice demographic or not. They have decided to contribute a certain dollar amount on a regular basis to help fund my dream of creating awareness and conversation for the childless not by choice community globally. Click the Patreon link for details and to become a Patron!)https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice  Jordan Morgan     It may seem that way, as I am using the possessive adjective to describe the fact that I am childless. That my life did not turn out the way I expected it would. But the more important issue is that human beings tend to blame each other for things we cannot control. My childlessness is not my fault.   If you are a Bible reader, you may recall the story of the man with the shriveled or withered hand. The Disciples asked Jesus if it was his parent's fault or his, why his hand was withered. Jesus’ answer was ‘it’s nobody’s fault.’   Be honest, have you never wondered to yourself ‘what in the world did he/she do to deserve that?’ when you see something bad, horrible, or horrific happen to someone. You may have even heard someone verbalize it as ‘karma’, or ‘what goes around comes around’. As human beings, we figure it’s just payback.   But isn’t it possible that stuff just happens? Don’t we live in a world where stuff really just happens? I believe we do. Yes, I believe to an extent that what goes around comes around. That we should treat people the way we would want to be treated. But we all know that it rains on the just and the unjust. The difference though is how we manage the cards we have been dealt. In fact, having or obtaining the tools for managing the cards we have been dealt.      I believe one of those tools for any problem or issue you or I have, is community. I strongly believe that when we belong to a community of strong, positive, people who want to get better and not wallow in the self-pity of what happened to us or what did not happen for us.     Community protects us from those who secretly or passive-aggressively nicely tell us that we did not pray hard enough for a child. Some of us are told not to give up even though we no longer have a uterus. Indeed, some are told so even when they were born without one. I especially like the ‘well, it was not meant to be’. It is one of my favorites. Right up there with ‘you should be happy you don’t have kids, they are a lot of work’. These are the same people who tell you that ‘you don’t have kids, so you would not understand.’   And sometimes these remarks come from the lips of the same person. ‘Be glad you don’t have kids, they are a lot of work’, and ‘you wouldn’t understand, you don’t have kids.’  Which one of us seems unhinged? Because unhinged, among other things, is what many childless women are called. And God forbid if we are also single. Then we are weird, overzealous with our nieces and nephews, lonely, clingy, needy, or mean. Society says that’s why we did not get married or have children: We chose the career over the kid, or as a friend of my mom once told her, I was too picky. Mind you, this woman couldn’t pick me out in a crowd. She knew nothing about me, but she knew I was being too picky and that is why I never married.   Well, regardless of the cards we have been dealt, I believe we can all be weird, overzealous with the children in our lives, clingy, needy, picky, or mean! After all, we are all human beings first, and none of us are what has happened to us or what did not happen for us, however.     So the next time your initial response is to blame someone for their ‘condition’, do a quick self-check and remind yourself ‘it's not my fault it’s not your fault. Stuff happens.’  How we deal our cards is what sets us apart.   Blog:  http://childlessnotbychoice.net/my-childlessness-is-not-my-fault/   Articles of note:    https://drsuetalks.blogspot.com/2018/07/should-fertility-clinics-deny-treatment.html    My contact information:Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.comFacebook: booksbycivillamorganTwitter: @civilla1Instagram: @joyandrelevancePinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSMLinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSMThank you for listening to this episode of Childless not by Choice. I appreciate it!Until next time! Bye!   ‘To recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.’   ‘Spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life’.

Hello everyone! Welcome back to Childless not by Choice, where my mission is to recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.  Civilla Morgan here. I am spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life, although we could not, did not, have the children we so wanted. •Patreon Contributors: (Patreon contributors are those who have taken an interest in my platform whether they fit the childless not by choice demographic or not. They have decided to contribute a certain dollar amount on a regular basis to help fund my dream of creating awareness and conversation for the childless not by choice community globally. Click the Patreon link for details and to become a Patron!)<a href="https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice</a> <ul> <li>Jordan Morgan </li> </ul> It may seem that way, as I am using the possessive adjective to describe the fact that I am childless. That my life did not turn out the way I expected it would. But the more important issue is that human beings tend to blame each other for things we cannot control. My childlessness is not my fault. If you are a Bible reader, you may recall the story of the man with the shriveled or withered hand. The Disciples asked Jesus if it was his parent's fault or his, why his hand was withered. Jesus’ answer was ‘it’s nobody’s fault.’ Be honest, have you never wondered to yourself ‘what in the world did he/she do to deserve that?’ when you see something bad, horrible, or horrific happen to someone. You may have even heard someone verbalize it as ‘karma’, or ‘what goes around comes around’. As human beings, we figure it’s just payback. But isn’t it possible that stuff just happens? Don’t we live in a world where stuff really just happens? I believe we do. Yes, I believe to an extent that what goes around comes around. That we should treat people the way we would want to be treated. But we all know that it rains on the just and the unjust. The difference though is how we manage the cards we have been dealt. In fact, having or obtaining the tools for managing the cards we have been dealt.    I believe one of those tools for any problem or issue you or I have, is community. I strongly believe that when we belong to a community of strong, positive, people who want to get better and not wallow in the self-pity of what happened to us or what did not happen for us.   Community protects us from those who secretly or passive-aggressively nicely tell us that we did not pray hard enough for a child. Some of us are told not to give up even though we no longer have a uterus. Indeed, some are told so even when they were born without one. I especially like the ‘well, it was not meant to be’. It is one of my favorites. Right up there with ‘you should be happy you don’t have kids, they are a lot of work’. These are the same people who tell you that ‘you don’t have kids, so you would not understand.’ And sometimes these remarks come from the lips of the same person. ‘Be glad you don’t have kids, they are a lot of work’, and ‘you wouldn’t understand, you don’t have kids.’  Which one of us seems unhinged? Because unhinged, among other things, is what many childless women are called. And God forbid if we are also single. Then we are weird, overzealous with our nieces and nephews, lonely, clingy, needy, or mean. Society says that’s why we did not get married or have children: We chose the career over the kid, or as a friend of my mom once told her, I was too picky. Mind you, this woman couldn’t pick me out in a crowd. She knew nothing about me, but she knew I was being too picky and that is why I never married. Well, regardless of the cards we have been dealt, I believe we can all be weird, overzealous with the children in our lives, clingy, needy, picky, or mean! After all, we are all human beings first, and none of us are what has happened to us or what did not happen for us, however.   So the next time your initial response is to blame someone for their ‘condition’, do a quick self-check and remind yourself ‘it's not my fault it’s not your fault. Stuff happens.’  How we deal our cards is what sets us apart. Blog: <a href="http://childlessnotbychoice.net/my-childlessness-is-not-my-fault/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> http://childlessnotbychoice.net/my-childlessness-is-not-my-fault/</a> Articles of note: <a href="https://drsuetalks.blogspot.com/2018/07/should-fertility-clinics-deny-treatment.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> https://drsuetalks.blogspot.com/2018/07/should-fertility-clinics-deny-treatment.html</a> My contact information:Website: <a href="http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.childlessnotbychoice.net</a> and www.civillamorgan.comFacebook: booksbycivillamorganTwitter: @civilla1Instagram: @joyandrelevancePinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSMLinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSMThank you for listening to this episode of Childless not by Choice. I appreciate it!Until next time! Bye! ‘To recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.’ ‘Spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life’.

Episode 92--My Childlessness Is Not My Fault

Hello everyone! Welcome back to Childless not by Choice, where my mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world. Civilla Morgan here. I am spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life, although we did not have the children we so wanted. Your tuning in whether childless not by choice or not makes you a part of the conversation. Thank you!   Welcome to episode 103!   I have some VIP’s to shout out!  Patreon Contributors: (Patreon contributors are those who have taken an interest in my platform whether they fit the childless not by choice demographic or not. They have decided to contribute a certain dollar amount on a monthly basis to help maintain our platform and podcast. Click the Patreon link for details and to become a Patron!)https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice Jordan Morgan Ivy Calhoun Your Name Here     Questions or comments? Contact me at:   Email: Info@civillamorgan.com                                                 Or   Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me a message of up to 90 seconds.   Still trying to figure out how to achieve your goals this year? I have made available to you the same blueprint I use every new year.  Blueprints are a great guide and guideline to help you meet your goals! Here’s the link!  https://childlessnotbychoice.net/product/2019-blueprint-for-your-goals-and-visions/   Well, in today’s episode, I had the wonderful opportunity to speak to Yvonne John. This was such an awesome episode to record!   Intro: Yvonne John   Yvonne’s Bio: Yvonne was never sure if she really wanted children but knew that she was expected to get married and have a family, in that order. Somewhere in between her dreams of traveling and experiencing what life had to offer Yvonne did wish for the perfect family, a husband, and four children. By the time she had reached her thirties this dream had fast lost its momentum, and by then Yvonne had given up on the dream of being a wife and mother. Because of her past, Yvonne had decided that it was now time to live by her choices. Yvonne believed that the opportunity to become a mother had passed so it was time to move on. It wasn't until Yvonne met her husband at 38 her faith in love was reignited. A year into their marriage Yvonne and her husband decided to try for a baby, which led to the unexpected sadness that was to follow when Yvonne was informed that she had 'Unexplained Infertility'. While trying to understand her grief Yvonne was introduced to Gateway Women, where she has been on her journey of forgiveness and renewed self-discovery.   Yvonne is the author of “Dreaming of a Life Unlived: Intimate Stories and Portraits of Women Without Children” (2016) and has appeared on numerous radio and television programmes to talk about her experience of recovering from the grief of involuntary childlessness. Yvonne blogs about this at “Finding My Plan B”. A graduate of Gateway Women year long Plan B Mentorship programme, Jody Day (founder of Gateway Women) personally invited Yvonne to lead the Reignite weekends for women of color having come to understand through many conversations together that there are unique aspects to the women of color experience of childlessness that would be better served in a dedicated workshop.   For more information on Yvonne's book, Blog, and platform, please check the show notes!      Between 1948 and 1970 nearly half a million people moved from the Caribbean to Britain, which in 1948 faced severe labor shortages in the wake of the Second World War. These immigrants were later referred to as "the Windrush generation". In reference to the ship MV Empire Windrush, which arrived at Tilbury  Docks, Essex, on 22 June 1948, bringing workers from Jamaica, Trinidad and Tobago, and other islands, as a response to post-war labor shortages in the UK.    So when we had our pre-interview chat I realized right away that we have at least one thing in common: our families emigrated from the Caribbean, mine to the US, and yours to England.   1) I am sure like anyone whose family emigrates from another country, you lived and to some extent still live with one foot in the old country and one foot in the new country, tell us a little about how that was for you growing up in The United Kingdom.   2) Your workshop which is geared toward childless, not by choice women of color was created because we do have what I believe is cultural circumstances around not being able to have children. The cultural issues we have to deal with are probably the main reason we hide our childlessness, or like Michelle Obama said recently, not being more open about the struggle with infertility and miscarriage. How do you think we can fix this, how do we keep a ‘happy medium’ between talking about our struggle and not oversharing?   3) Why do you think black women are not more supportive and edifying of each other? Which can lead to the hiding our feelings--doesn’t allow for honesty.   4) We’ve covered some pretty heavy issues today. And here’s another one:  we previously talked about episode 94--Triggers. You mentioned that your experience with the Charismatic church was negative, and in fact one of the reasons you reached out to me was because you heard me say in a previous video conversation, I will put the link in the show notes, that I wanted to work on getting the church in general, to be more aware of the childless not by choice members sitting in their pews. Do you think we still have a long way to go to church whether charismatic or otherwise, with how childless women are treated? Church folk tends to think childless women are sick and need to be prayed for right?   5) ) Pivoting a little, as we come to a close, hysterectomy: are you still planning on scheduling one for yourself? I would like the women who are considering or have already scheduled their hysterectomy, to hear what you plan to do as far as writing a letter to say goodbye (to your womb). Can you tell us your process, and if we’ve already had the hysterectomy, is it too late to say goodbye?       6) Is there anything we did not get to discuss that you really wanted to get the word out on before we close?   Thank you/closing: Don’t forget to check out the show notes! Yvonne’s contact information is there, there are links to news stories I found interesting, the link to my online store chock full of great products created for the childless not by choice community is there, contact information for my sponsor Morgan Air as well as the contact information for my supporters. And of course, my contact information is there.   Yvonne’s contact information: https://www.facebook.com/dreamingofalifeunlived/https://gateway-women.com/event-directory/ Yvonne blogs at http://bit.ly/findingmyplanb Her book ‘Dreaming of a Life Unlived’ can be purchased on Amazon at http://bit.ly/alifeunlived and the ebook via http://bit.ly/ofalifeunlived   If you would like to become a one time or ongoing sponsor, or if you would like to advertise your business or an upcoming event, contact me at info@civillamorgan.com for details.   Remember, subscription to the podcast is free. Simply go to Apple Podcast, Stitcher Radio, Spotify, Overcast, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Search for Childless not by Choice, and hit the subscribe button. It’s that easy!   Special thank you to: Thank you to Morgan Air Conditioning. Morgan Air can be reached by calling 813 500 7765.  And their email address is www.Morganair.net. Along with a stellar business reputation in the Tampa, FL area, Morgan Air is also known and well received for giving back to the Tampa, FL community whether it is back to school drives or donating services to the less fortunate. Thank you Morgan Air for recognizing the vision of Childless not by Choice, and being a part of it.   Thank you Devoted, for the beautiful theme music we use here at Childless not by Choice. Devoted has had the opportunity to sing and play in many countries. To learn more about Devoted, including their concert schedule, visit their website at www.devotedministry.org.   Episodes and books mentioned in this episode:  https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-90-my-interview-with-jody-day-founder-of-gateway-women/  https://childlessnotbychoice.net/triggers-how-to-recognize-them-face-them-and-deal-with-them/  https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-65-my-interview-with-mrs-maureen-hornstein/  https://childlessnotbychoice.net/video-conversations-with-trailblazers-in-the-childless-not-by-choice-demographic/  https://www.amazon.com/Self-Compassion-Proven-Power-Being-Yourself/dp/0061733520/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&amp;ie=UTF8&amp;qid=1547407221&amp;sr=1-1&amp;keywords=kristin+neff+self+compassion    https://childlessnotbychoice.net/product/21st-century-hannah-31-days-encouragement/   News stories of note:  https://www.dailymail.co.uk/wires/pa/article-6037381/Caution-urged-social-egg-freezing.html https://www.mamamia.com.au/childfree/     My contact information:Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.comFacebook: booksbycivillamorganTwitter: @civilla1Instagram: @joyandrelevancePinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSMLinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSMhttps://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice ‘To recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.’   ‘Spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life’.   Well, thank you for listening to this episode of Childless not by Choice! Until next time! Bye!

Hello everyone! Welcome back to Childless not by Choice, where my mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world. Civilla Morgan here. I am spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life, although we did not have the children we so wanted. Your tuning in whether childless not by choice or not makes you a part of the conversation. Thank you!   Welcome to episode 103! I have some VIP’s to shout out! <ul> <li>Patreon Contributors: (Patreon contributors are those who have taken an interest in my platform whether they fit the childless not by choice demographic or not. They have decided to contribute a certain dollar amount on a monthly basis to help maintain our platform and podcast. Click the Patreon link for details and to become a Patron!)<a href="https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice</a></li> <li>Jordan Morgan</li> <li>Ivy Calhoun</li> <li>Your Name Here </li> </ul> Questions or comments? Contact me at: Email: <a href="mailto:Info@civillamorgan.com">Info@civillamorgan.com</a>                                               Or Visit the website at <a href="http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.childlessnotbychoice.net</a>, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me a message of up to 90 seconds. Still trying to figure out how to achieve your goals this year? I have made available to you the same blueprint I use every new year.  Blueprints are a great guide and guideline to help you meet your goals! Here’s the link! <a href="https://childlessnotbychoice.net/product/2019-blueprint-for-your-goals-and-visions/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> https://childlessnotbychoice.net/product/2019-blueprint-for-your-goals-and-visions/</a> Well, in today’s episode, I had the wonderful opportunity to speak to Yvonne John. This was such an awesome episode to record! Intro: Yvonne John Yvonne’s Bio: Yvonne was never sure if she really wanted children but knew that she was expected to get married and have a family, in that order. Somewhere in between her dreams of traveling and experiencing what life had to offer Yvonne did wish for the perfect family, a husband, and four children. By the time she had reached her thirties this dream had fast lost its momentum, and by then Yvonne had given up on the dream of being a wife and mother. Because of her past, Yvonne had decided that it was now time to live by her choices. Yvonne believed that the opportunity to become a mother had passed so it was time to move on. It wasn't until Yvonne met her husband at 38 her faith in love was reignited. A year into their marriage Yvonne and her husband decided to try for a baby, which led to the unexpected sadness that was to follow when Yvonne was informed that she had 'Unexplained Infertility'. While trying to understand her grief Yvonne was introduced to Gateway Women, where she has been on her journey of forgiveness and renewed self-discovery. Yvonne is the author of “Dreaming of a Life Unlived: Intimate Stories and Portraits of Women Without Children” (2016) and has appeared on numerous radio and television programmes to talk about her experience of recovering from the grief of involuntary childlessness. Yvonne blogs about this at “Finding My Plan B”. A graduate of Gateway Women year long Plan B Mentorship programme, Jody Day (founder of Gateway Women) personally invited Yvonne to lead the Reignite weekends for women of color having come to understand through many conversations together that there are unique aspects to the women of color experience of childlessness that would be better served in a dedicated workshop. For more information on Yvonne's book, Blog, and platform, please check the show notes!   <ol> <li>Between 1948 and 1970 nearly half a million people moved from the Caribbean to Britain, which in 1948 faced severe labor shortages in the wake of the Second World War. These immigrants were later referred to as "the Windrush generation". In reference to the ship MV Empire Windrush, which arrived at Tilbury  Docks, Essex, on 22 June 1948, bringing workers from Jamaica, Trinidad and Tobago, and other islands, as a response to post-war labor shortages in the UK.</li> </ol> So when we had our pre-interview chat I realized right away that we have at least one thing in common: our families emigrated from the Caribbean, mine to the US, and yours to England. 1) I am sure like anyone whose family emigrates from another country, you lived and to some extent still live with one foot in the old country and one foot in the new country, tell us a little about how that was for you growing up in The United Kingdom. 2) Your workshop which is geared toward childless, not by choice women of color was created because we do have what I believe is cultural circumstances around not being able to have children. The cultural issues we have to deal with are probably the main reason we hide our childlessness, or like Michelle Obama said recently, not being more open about the struggle with infertility and miscarriage. How do you think we can fix this, how do we keep a ‘happy medium’ between talking about our struggle and not oversharing? 3) Why do you think black women are not more supportive and edifying of each other? Which can lead to the hiding our feelings--doesn’t allow for honesty. 4) We’ve covered some pretty heavy issues today. And here’s another one:  we previously talked about episode 94--Triggers. You mentioned that your experience with the Charismatic church was negative, and in fact one of the reasons you reached out to me was because you heard me say in a previous video conversation, I will put the link in the show notes, that I wanted to work on getting the church in general, to be more aware of the childless not by choice members sitting in their pews. Do you think we still have a long way to go to church whether charismatic or otherwise, with how childless women are treated? Church folk tends to think childless women are sick and need to be prayed for right? 5) ) Pivoting a little, as we come to a close, hysterectomy: are you still planning on scheduling one for yourself? I would like the women who are considering or have already scheduled their hysterectomy, to hear what you plan to do as far as writing a letter to say goodbye (to your womb). Can you tell us your process, and if we’ve already had the hysterectomy, is it too late to say goodbye?     6) Is there anything we did not get to discuss that you really wanted to get the word out on before we close? Thank you/closing: Don’t forget to check out the show notes! Yvonne’s contact information is there, there are links to news stories I found interesting, the link to my online store chock full of great products created for the childless not by choice community is there, contact information for my sponsor Morgan Air as well as the contact information for my supporters. And of course, my contact information is there. Yvonne’s contact information: <a href="https://www.facebook.com/dreamingofalifeunlived/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.facebook.com/dreamingofalifeunlived/</a><a href="https://gateway-women.com/event-directory/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://gateway-women.com/event-directory/</a> Yvonne blogs at <a href="http://bit.ly/findingmyplanb" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">http://bit.ly/findingmyplanb</a> Her book ‘Dreaming of a Life Unlived’ can be purchased on Amazon at <a href="http://bit.ly/alifeunlived" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">http://bit.ly/alifeunlived</a> and the ebook via <a href="http://bit.ly/ofalifeunlived" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">http://bit.ly/ofalifeunlived</a> If you would like to become a one time or ongoing sponsor, or if you would like to advertise your business or an upcoming event, contact me at <a href="mailto:info@civillamorgan.com">info@civillamorgan.com</a> for details. Remember, subscription to the podcast is free. Simply go to Apple Podcast, Stitcher Radio, Spotify, Overcast, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Search for Childless not by Choice, and hit the subscribe button. It’s that easy! Special thank you to: Thank you to Morgan Air Conditioning. Morgan Air can be reached by calling 813 500 7765.  And their email address is <a href="http://www.Morganair.net" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.Morganair.net</a>. Along with a stellar business reputation in the Tampa, FL area, Morgan Air is also known and well received for giving back to the Tampa, FL community whether it is back to school drives or donating services to the less fortunate. Thank you Morgan Air for recognizing the vision of Childless not by Choice, and being a part of it. Thank you Devoted, for the beautiful theme music we use here at Childless not by Choice. Devoted has had the opportunity to sing and play in many countries. To learn more about Devoted, including their concert schedule, visit their website at <a href="http://www.devotedministry.org" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.devotedministry.org</a>. Episodes and books mentioned in this episode: <a href="https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-90-my-interview-with-jody-day-founder-of-gateway-women/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-90-my-interview-with-jody-day-founder-of-gateway-women/</a> <a href="https://childlessnotbychoice.net/triggers-how-to-recognize-them-face-them-and-deal-with-them/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> https://childlessnotbychoice.net/triggers-how-to-recognize-them-face-them-and-deal-with-them/</a> <a href="https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-65-my-interview-with-mrs-maureen-hornstein/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-65-my-interview-with-mrs-maureen-hornstein/</a> <a href="https://childlessnotbychoice.net/video-conversations-with-trailblazers-in-the-childless-not-by-choice-demographic/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> https://childlessnotbychoice.net/video-conversations-with-trailblazers-in-the-childless-not-by-choice-demographic/</a> <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Self-Compassion-Proven-Power-Being-Yourself/dp/0061733520/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&amp;ie=UTF8&amp;qid=1547407221&amp;sr=1-1&amp;keywords=kristin+neff+self+compassion" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> https://www.amazon.com/Self-Compassion-Proven-Power-Being-Yourself/dp/0061733520/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&amp;ie=UTF8&amp;qid=1547407221&amp;sr=1-1&amp;keywords=kristin+neff+self+compassion</a> <a href="https://childlessnotbychoice.net/product/21st-century-hannah-31-days-encouragement/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> https://childlessnotbychoice.net/product/21st-century-hannah-31-days-encouragement/</a> News stories of note: <a href="https://www.dailymail.co.uk/wires/pa/article-6037381/Caution-urged-social-egg-freezing.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> https://www.dailymail.co.uk/wires/pa/article-6037381/Caution-urged-social-egg-freezing.html</a> <a href="https://www.mamamia.com.au/childfree/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.mamamia.com.au/childfree/</a> My contact information:Website: <a href="http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.childlessnotbychoice.net</a> and www.civillamorgan.comFacebook: booksbycivillamorganTwitter: @civilla1Instagram: @joyandrelevancePinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSMLinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM<a href="https://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice </a>‘To recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.’ ‘Spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life’. Well, thank you for listening to this episode of Childless not by Choice! Until next time! Bye!

Episode 103--Childlessness is not an Illness

Hello everyone! Civilla Morgan here! Welcome back to Childless, not by Choice, where my mission is to recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.  I am spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life, although we could not, did not, have the children we so wanted.    Thank you to my Patreon Contributors: (Patreon contributors are those who have taken an interest in my platform whether they fit the childless not by choice demographic or not. They have decided to contribute a certain dollar amount on a regular basis to help fund my dream of creating awareness and conversation for the childless not by choice community globally.     Podcaster Sarah Williams of The Tough Girls Podcast Jordan Morgan    Click the link below to become my next Patreon Subscriber:   https://www.patreon.com/21stcenturyhannah   Welcome to part two of 10, 11 Childless not by Choice women who Changed the World In this segment, we start the list with famed French Chef Julia Child! Popular TV chef and author Julia Child was born on August 15, 1912, in Pasadena, California. In 1948, she moved to France where she developed a penchant for French cuisine. With a goal of adapting sophisticated French cuisine for mainstream Americans, she collaborated on a two-volume cookbook called Mastering the Art of French Cooking, which was considered groundbreaking, and has since become a standard guide for the culinary community. She also became a television icon with her popular cooking shows such as The French Chef.  Child lived a privileged childhood. She was educated at San Francisco's elite Katherine Branson School for Girls, where—at a towering height of 6 feet, 2 inches—she was the tallest student in her class. She was a lively prankster who, as one friend recalled, could be "really, really wild." She was also adventurous and athletic, with talent in golf, tennis and small-game hunting.   In 1993, she was rewarded for her work when she became the first woman inducted into the Culinary Institute Hall of Fame. In November 2000, following a 40-year career that has made her name synonymous with fine food and a permanent among the world's most famous chefs, Julia received France's highest honor: The Legion d'Honneur. And in August 2002, the Smithsonian's National Museum of American History unveiled an exhibit featuring the kitchen, where she filmed three of her popular cooking shows. Child died in August 2004 of kidney failure at her assisted-living home in Montecito, two days before her 92nd birthday. Child had no intentions of slowing down, even in her final days. "In this line of work...you keep right on till you're through," she said. "Retired people are boring. "After her death Child's last book, the autobiography My Life in France was published with the help of Child's great nephew, Alex Prud'homme. The book, which centered on how Child discovered her true calling, became a best seller. (My notes on Julia Child: Did you get that? Her autobiography was ‘centered on how Child discovered her true calling…’ have you discovered your true calling yet, because you have one. https://www.biography.com/people/julia-child-9246767   Harriet Tubman (1822–1913) was an escaped slave who became a leading figure in the abolitionist movement. Harriet Tubman also served as a spy for the US army during the civil war and was an active participant in the struggle for women’s suffrage, an iconic symbol of courage and resistance to injustice, inspiring many generations of civil rights activists. Tubman helped rescue over 70 slaves, in about 13 expeditions (and offering advice to many more). She often traveled in the darker winter months, making it easier to travel incognito by night. Because of the dangers on the road, she always took a revolver with her. She was also willing to use it to threaten any escaped slave who wished to go back because she knew returning would endanger all the escapees. She was proud never to lose an escaping slave on her expeditions. In April 2016, it was announced she would figure on the US $20 bill.  https://www.biographyonline.net/women/harriet-Tubman-biography.html   Eva Peron served as Argentina’s First lady from 1946 to 1952.  Eva Peron or ‘Evita’ became a powerful political figure with a large support base amongst the poor and working-class trade union members. She inspired millions with her campaigns to help the poor and give women the right to vote. To her supporters, she was a saint who strove to overcome poverty and injustice. To her detractors (in the nation’s military and bourgeoisie) she was a controversial figure at the heart of Argentinian politics. Eva Peron remains an important symbol of emancipation, especially for women in Latin America. She was one of the first women to create a lasting political/humanitarian legacy. Christina Fernandez, the first female elected President of Argentina, claims that women of her generation owe a debt to Eva for “her example of passion and combativeness”.  http://www.biographyonline.net/politicians/american/eva-peron.html   Cicely Tyson is an award-winning film, television and stage actress. She is known for choosing quality roles that send positive messages to women of color. Cicely Tyson was born in New York City on December 19, 1924 (although some believe her birth year to be 1933). She built a successful career by carefully choosing roles that exemplified quality and depth. She has won accolades and awards for her performances on TV, stage and in film, with credits including Sounder, Roots, The Autobiography of Miss Jane Pittman and The Help. Tyson has won two Emmy Awards and a Tony Award, among other honors, over the course of her acting career. She was inducted into the Black Filmmakers Hall of Fame in 1977. Tyson grew up in Harlem, New York. At the age of 18, she walked away from a typing job and began modeling. Tyson was then drawn to acting, though she had not been permitted to go to plays or movies as a child. When she got her first acting job, her religious mother, feeling that Tyson was choosing a sinful path, kicked her out of their home. Despite her mother's initial disapproval (the two didn't speak for two years before reconciling), Tyson found success as an actress, appearing onstage, in movies and on TV. Tyson was nominated for an Academy Award for 1972's Sounder. She also portrayed notable roles on television, including Kunta Kinte's mother in the adaptation of Alex Haley's Roots and the title role in The Autobiography of Miss Jane Pittman, which earned Tyson an Emmy Award in 1974. Moving to Broadway in 1983, Tyson was the lead in The Corn Is Green, a play set in a Welsh mining town. However, Tyson's career trajectory wasn't a smooth one; at times, she had trouble simply finding work. She flatly refused to do "blaxploitation" films or to take parts solely for the paycheck and was selective about the roles she chose. As she explained in a 1983 interview, "Unless a piece really said something, I had no interest in it. I have got to know that I have served some purpose here.'' Through the years, Tyson has kept much of her personal life—including her birth year—under wraps. One known personal detail is that Tyson was married to Miles Davis for seven years in the 1980s. Though other information about her life is scant, Tyson has a well-known commitment to community involvement. She co-founded the Dance Theater of Harlem after Martin Luther King Jr.'s assassination, and when a school board in East Orange, New Jersey, wanted to name a performing arts schools after her, she only agreed to accept the honor if she could participate in school activities. In addition to attending meetings and events, Tyson has even taught a master class at the school. Tyson has received numerous acting awards and nominations and became a member of the Black Filmmakers Hall of Fame in 1977. She has also been honored by the Congress of Racial Equality and by the National Council of Negro Women. And in 2010, the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People presented Tyson with its 95th Spingarn Medal—an award given to African Americans who have reached outstanding levels of achievement. In 2015 Tyson was nominated for an Emmy for her guest starring role in ABC's How to Get Away With Murder and was a recipient of the Kennedy Center Honors. The following year, she was honored with the Presidential Medal of Freedom by Barack Obama. For more information on Cicely Tyson, click the link below: https://www.biography.com/people/cicely-tyson-9512950 (my notes on Cicely Tyson: Did you get that? ‘However, Tyson's career trajectory wasn't a smooth one; at times, she had trouble simply finding work. She flatly refused to do "blaxploitation" films, or to take parts solely for the paycheck, and was selective about the roles she chose.’ QUOTES: “I feel so guilty about the state of young people today. And I say that because our generation fought for everything. We fought to sit down at a counter, to sit on a bus. They were left with nothing to fight for.” —Cicely Tyson  NOTE: In the episode, I said she was born in the same part of the world I was. I meant to say her family is from the same part of the world where I was born, The Caribbean.     Dian Fossey was born in San Francisco, Calif., in 1932. Her parents divorced when she was young, so Dian grew up with her mother and stepfather. By all accounts, she was an excellent student and was extremely interested in animals from a very young age. At age 6, she began horseback riding lessons and in high school earned a letter on the riding team. When Dian enrolled in college courses at Marin Junior College, she chose to focus on business, following the encouragement of her stepfather, a wealthy businessman. She worked while in school, and at age 19, on the summer break following her freshman year of college, she went to work on a ranch in Montana. At the ranch, she fell in love with and developed an attachment to the animals, but she was forced to leave early when she contracted chicken pox. Even so, the experience convinced Dian to follow her heart and return to school as a pre-veterinary student at the University of California. She found some of the chemistry and physics courses quite challenging, and ultimately, she turned her focus to a degree in occupational therapy at San Jose State College, from which she graduated in 1954.   She spent many years longing to visit Africa and realized that if her dream were to be realized, she would have to take matters into her own hands. Therefore, in 1963, Dian took out a bank loan and began planning her first trip to Africa. She hired a driver by mail and prepared to set off to the land of her dreams.   It took Dian Fossey’s entire life savings, in addition, a bank loan, to make her dream a reality. In September 1963, she arrived in Kenya.   Following her visit to the Virungas, Dian remained in Africa a while longer, staying with friends in Rhodesia. Upon arriving home in Kentucky, she resumed her work at Kosair Children’s Hospital, in order to repay the loan she had taken out for her trip to Africa – all the while dreaming of the day she would return.   In 1980, Dian moved to Ithaca, New York, as a visiting associate professor at Cornell University. She used the time away from Karisoke to focus on the manuscript for her book, “Gorillas in the Mist.” Published in 1983, the book is an account of her years in the rainforest with the mountain gorillas. Most importantly, it underscores the need for concerted conservation efforts. The book was well received and, like the movie of the same name remains popular to this day.   Dian had not been back in Rwanda long when, a few weeks before her 54th birthday, she was murdered. Her body was found in her cabin on the morning of Dec. 27, 1985. She was struck twice on the head and face with a machete. There was evidence of forced entry but no signs that robbery had been the motive.   Please click the link below for more information on Dian Fossey.   https://gorillafund.org/who-we-are/dian-fossey/dian-fossey-bio/   Quote: “There was no way that I could explain to dogs, friends, or parents my compelling need to return to Africa to launch a long-term study of the gorillas. Some may call it destiny and others may call it dismaying. I call the sudden turn of events in my life fortuitous.” — “Gorillas in the Mist”   “When you realize the value of all life, you dwell less on what is past and concentrate on the preservation of the future.” — “Gorillas in the Mist”   Women I also found interesting, but I promised 10! Feel free to check out the biographyonline.net site if you would like to learn more about these women!  Ginger Rogers Betsy Ross Helen Keller Kathryn Johanna Kuhlman Bonnie Raitt   Is there a woman who did not make the list? Let me know. I would love to do a follow up to this episode as I believe it is such an encouragement to see these women did not fold their arms and check out of society.   Below are two links that list men and women down through history, who never had children:  http://nkohk.forumotion.net/t16-the-long-list-of-childfree-and-childless-in-history http://brianhassett.com/2010/06/people-who-dont-have-kids/   Used for research purposes, some of these women did have children:  http://www.biographyonline.net/people/women-who-changed-world.html     Articles of note:  http://www.theaustralian.com.au/opinion/columnists/berejiklian-gillard-may-merkel-power-to-childless-women/news-story/004e9d8eaf2940ba43ce39d3bd86fc3b    If you haven’t already joined the Facebook group, you are missing a lot of great conversation, commiseration, and encouragement. There are women in there from all around the world who have found a great place to encourage and be encouraged! Come on in and join the conversation! I am working on courses just for you. Right now, ’10 Days to Setting Kind but Firm Boundaries is available when you go to the website and click on the Courses tab. It costs just $29.97 to realize what it takes and how to create kind but firm boundaries. Visit the website, explore, and don’t forget to visit the Resources tab where you can download free PDF content.      My contact information: Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.com Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan Twitter: @civilla1 Instagram: @civilla1 Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM   Please help me out by taking this very short survey! https://survey.libsyn.com/21stcenturyhannah In Closing: Thank you for listening to this episode of Childless not by Choice. I appreciate it! Until next time! Bye!

Hello everyone! Civilla Morgan here! Welcome back to Childless, not by Choice, where my mission is to recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.  I am spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life, although we could not, did not, have the children we so wanted. <ul> <li>Thank you to my Patreon Contributors: (Patreon contributors are those who have taken an interest in my platform whether they fit the childless not by choice demographic or not. They have decided to contribute a certain dollar amount on a regular basis to help fund my dream of creating awareness and conversation for the childless not by choice community globally.</li> </ul> <ul> <li>Podcaster Sarah Williams of The Tough Girls Podcast</li> <li>Jordan Morgan</li> </ul> Click the link below to become my next Patreon Subscriber: <a href="https://www.patreon.com/21stcenturyhannah" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.patreon.com/21stcenturyhannah</a> Welcome to part two of 10, 11 Childless not by Choice women who Changed the World In this segment, we start the list with famed French Chef Julia Child! Popular TV chef and author Julia Child was born on August 15, 1912, in Pasadena, California. In 1948, she moved to France where she developed a penchant for French cuisine. With a goal of adapting sophisticated French cuisine for mainstream Americans, she collaborated on a two-volume cookbook called Mastering the Art of French Cooking, which was considered groundbreaking, and has since become a standard guide for the culinary community. She also became a television icon with her popular cooking shows such as The French Chef.  Child lived a privileged childhood. She was educated at San Francisco's elite Katherine Branson School for Girls, where—at a towering height of 6 feet, 2 inches—she was the tallest student in her class. She was a lively prankster who, as one friend recalled, could be "really, really wild." She was also adventurous and athletic, with talent in golf, tennis and small-game hunting. In 1993, she was rewarded for her work when she became the first woman inducted into the Culinary Institute Hall of Fame. In November 2000, following a 40-year career that has made her name synonymous with fine food and a permanent among the world's most <a href="http://www.biography.com/people/groups/chefs/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">famous chefs</a>, Julia received France's highest honor: The Legion d'Honneur. And in August 2002, the Smithsonian's National Museum of American History unveiled an exhibit featuring the kitchen, where she filmed three of her popular cooking shows. Child died in August 2004 of kidney failure at her assisted-living home in Montecito, two days before her 92nd birthday. Child had no intentions of slowing down, even in her final days. "In this line of work...you keep right on till you're through," she said. "Retired people are boring. "After her death Child's last book, the autobiography My Life in France was published with the help of Child's great nephew, Alex Prud'homme. The book, which centered on how Child discovered her true calling, became a best seller. (My notes on Julia Child: Did you get that? Her autobiography was ‘centered on how Child discovered her true calling…’ have you discovered your true calling yet, because you have one. <a href="https://www.biography.com/people/julia-child-9246767" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.biography.com/people/julia-child-9246767</a> Harriet Tubman (1822–1913) was an escaped slave who became a leading figure in the abolitionist movement. Harriet Tubman also served as a spy for the US army during the civil war and was an active participant in the struggle for women’s suffrage, an iconic symbol of courage and resistance to injustice, inspiring many generations of civil rights activists. Tubman helped rescue over 70 slaves, in about 13 expeditions (and offering advice to many more). She often traveled in the darker winter months, making it easier to travel incognito by night. Because of the dangers on the road, she always took a revolver with her. She was also willing to use it to threaten any escaped slave who wished to go back because she knew returning would endanger all the escapees. She was proud never to lose an escaping slave on her expeditions. In April 2016, it was announced she would figure on the US $20 bill. <a href="https://www.biographyonline.net/women/harriet-Tubman-biography.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.biographyonline.net/women/harriet-Tubman-biography.html</a> Eva Peron served as Argentina’s First lady from 1946 to 1952.  Eva Peron or ‘Evita’ became a powerful political figure with a large support base amongst the poor and working-class trade union members. She inspired millions with her campaigns to help the poor and give women the right to vote. To her supporters, she was a saint who strove to overcome poverty and injustice. To her detractors (in the nation’s military and bourgeoisie) she was a controversial figure at the heart of Argentinian politics. Eva Peron remains an important symbol of emancipation, especially for women in Latin America. She was one of the first women to create a lasting political/humanitarian legacy. Christina Fernandez, the first female elected President of Argentina, claims that women of her generation owe a debt to Eva for “her example of passion and combativeness”. <a href="http://www.biographyonline.net/politicians/american/eva-peron.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> http://www.biographyonline.net/politicians/american/eva-peron.html</a> Cicely Tyson is an award-winning film, television and stage actress. She is known for choosing quality roles that send positive messages to women of color. Cicely Tyson was born in New York City on December 19, 1924 (although some believe her birth year to be 1933). She built a successful career by carefully choosing roles that exemplified quality and depth. She has won accolades and awards for her performances on TV, stage and in film, with credits including Sounder, Roots, The Autobiography of Miss Jane Pittman and The Help. Tyson has won two Emmy Awards and a Tony Award, among other honors, over the course of her acting career. She was inducted into the Black Filmmakers Hall of Fame in 1977. Tyson grew up in Harlem, New York. At the age of 18, she walked away from a typing job and began modeling. Tyson was then drawn to acting, though she had not been permitted to go to plays or movies as a child. When she got her first acting job, her religious mother, feeling that Tyson was choosing a sinful path, kicked her out of their home. Despite her mother's initial disapproval (the two didn't speak for two years before reconciling), Tyson found success as an actress, appearing onstage, in movies and on TV. Tyson was nominated for an Academy Award for 1972's Sounder. She also portrayed notable roles on television, including Kunta Kinte's mother in the adaptation of Alex Haley's Roots and the title role in The Autobiography of Miss Jane Pittman, which earned Tyson an Emmy Award in 1974. Moving to Broadway in 1983, Tyson was the lead in The Corn Is Green, a play set in a Welsh mining town. However, Tyson's career trajectory wasn't a smooth one; at times, she had trouble simply finding work. She flatly refused to do "blaxploitation" films or to take parts solely for the paycheck and was selective about the roles she chose. As she explained in a 1983 interview, "Unless a piece really said something, I had no interest in it. I have got to know that I have served some purpose here.'' Through the years, Tyson has kept much of her personal life—including her birth year—under wraps. One known personal detail is that Tyson was married to Miles Davis for seven years in the 1980s. Though other information about her life is scant, Tyson has a well-known commitment to community involvement. She co-founded the Dance Theater of Harlem after Martin Luther King Jr.'s assassination, and when a school board in East Orange, New Jersey, wanted to name a performing arts schools after her, she only agreed to accept the honor if she could participate in school activities. In addition to attending meetings and events, Tyson has even taught a master class at the school. Tyson has received numerous acting awards and nominations and became a member of the Black Filmmakers Hall of Fame in 1977. She has also been honored by the Congress of Racial Equality and by the National Council of Negro Women. And in 2010, the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People presented Tyson with its 95th Spingarn Medal—an award given to African Americans who have reached outstanding levels of achievement. In 2015 Tyson was nominated for an Emmy for her guest starring role in ABC's How to Get Away With Murder and was a recipient of the Kennedy Center Honors. The following year, she was honored with the Presidential Medal of Freedom by Barack Obama. For more information on Cicely Tyson, click the link below: <a href="https://www.biography.com/people/cicely-tyson-9512950" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.biography.com/people/cicely-tyson-9512950</a> (my notes on Cicely Tyson: Did you get that? ‘However, Tyson's career trajectory wasn't a smooth one; at times, she had trouble simply finding work. She flatly refused to do "blaxploitation" films, or to take parts solely for the paycheck, and was selective about the roles she chose.’ QUOTES: “I feel so guilty about the state of young people today. And I say that because our generation fought for everything. We fought to sit down at a counter, to sit on a bus. They were left with nothing to fight for.” —Cicely Tyson  NOTE: In the episode, I said she was born in the same part of the world I was. I meant to say her family is from the same part of the world where I was born, The Caribbean. Dian Fossey was born in San Francisco, Calif., in 1932. Her parents divorced when she was young, so Dian grew up with her mother and stepfather. By all accounts, she was an excellent student and was extremely interested in animals from a very young age. At age 6, she began horseback riding lessons and in high school earned a letter on the riding team. When Dian enrolled in college courses at Marin Junior College, she chose to focus on business, following the encouragement of her stepfather, a wealthy businessman. She worked while in school, and at age 19, on the summer break following her freshman year of college, she went to work on a ranch in Montana. At the ranch, she fell in love with and developed an attachment to the animals, but she was forced to leave early when she contracted chicken pox. Even so, the experience convinced Dian to follow her heart and return to school as a pre-veterinary student at the University of California. She found some of the chemistry and physics courses quite challenging, and ultimately, she turned her focus to a degree in occupational therapy at San Jose State College, from which she graduated in 1954. She spent many years longing to visit Africa and realized that if her dream were to be realized, she would have to take matters into her own hands. Therefore, in 1963, Dian took out a bank loan and began planning her first trip to Africa. She hired a driver by mail and prepared to set off to the land of her dreams. It took Dian Fossey’s entire life savings, in addition, a bank loan, to make her dream a reality. In September 1963, she arrived in Kenya.   Following her visit to the Virungas, Dian remained in Africa a while longer, staying with friends in Rhodesia. Upon arriving home in Kentucky, she resumed her work at Kosair Children’s Hospital, in order to repay the loan she had taken out for her trip to Africa – all the while dreaming of the day she would return. In 1980, Dian moved to Ithaca, New York, as a visiting associate professor at Cornell University. She used the time away from Karisoke to focus on the manuscript for her book, “Gorillas in the Mist.” Published in 1983, the book is an account of her years in the rainforest with the mountain gorillas. Most importantly, it underscores the need for concerted conservation efforts. The book was well received and, like the movie of the same name remains popular to this day. Dian had not been back in Rwanda long when, a few weeks before her 54th birthday, she was murdered. Her body was found in her cabin on the morning of Dec. 27, 1985. She was struck twice on the head and face with a machete. There was evidence of forced entry but no signs that robbery had been the motive. Please click the link below for more information on Dian Fossey. <a href="https://gorillafund.org/who-we-are/dian-fossey/dian-fossey-bio/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://gorillafund.org/who-we-are/dian-fossey/dian-fossey-bio/</a> Quote: “There was no way that I could explain to dogs, friends, or parents my compelling need to return to Africa to launch a long-term study of the gorillas. Some may call it destiny and others may call it dismaying. I call the sudden turn of events in my life fortuitous.” — “Gorillas in the Mist” “When you realize the value of all life, you dwell less on what is past and concentrate on the preservation of the future.” — “Gorillas in the Mist” Women I also found interesting, but I promised 10! Feel free to check out the <a href="http://biographyonline.net" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">biographyonline.net</a> site if you would like to learn more about these women!  Ginger Rogers Betsy Ross Helen Keller Kathryn Johanna Kuhlman Bonnie Raitt Is there a woman who did not make the list? Let me know. I would love to do a follow up to this episode as I believe it is such an encouragement to see these women did not fold their arms and check out of society. Below are two links that list men and women down through history, who never had children: <a href="http://nkohk.forumotion.net/t16-the-long-list-of-childfree-and-childless-in-history" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> http://nkohk.forumotion.net/t16-the-long-list-of-childfree-and-childless-in-history</a> <a href="http://brianhassett.com/2010/06/people-who-dont-have-kids/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">http://brianhassett.com/2010/06/people-who-dont-have-kids/</a> Used for research purposes, some of these women did have children: <a href="http://www.biographyonline.net/people/women-who-changed-world.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">http://www.biographyonline.net/people/women-who-changed-world.html</a> Articles of note: <a href="http://www.theaustralian.com.au/opinion/columnists/berejiklian-gillard-may-merkel-power-to-childless-women/news-story/004e9d8eaf2940ba43ce39d3bd86fc3b" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> http://www.theaustralian.com.au/opinion/columnists/berejiklian-gillard-may-merkel-power-to-childless-women/news-story/004e9d8eaf2940ba43ce39d3bd86fc3b</a> <ul> <li>If you haven’t already joined the Facebook group, you are missing a lot of great conversation, commiseration, and encouragement. There are women in there from all around the world who have found a great place to encourage and be encouraged! Come on in and join the conversation!</li> <li>I am working on courses just for you. Right now, ’10 Days to Setting Kind but Firm Boundaries is available when you go to the website and click on the Courses tab. It costs just $29.97 to realize what it takes and how to create kind but firm boundaries.</li> <li>Visit the website, explore, and don’t forget to visit the Resources tab where you can download free PDF content.  </li> </ul> My contact information: Website: <a href="http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.childlessnotbychoice.net</a> and <a href="http://www.civillamorgan.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.civillamorgan.com</a> Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan Twitter: @civilla1 Instagram: @civilla1 Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM Please help me out by taking this very short survey! <a href="https://survey.libsyn.com/21stcenturyhannah" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://survey.libsyn.com/21stcenturyhannah</a> In Closing: Thank you for listening to this episode of Childless not by Choice. I appreciate it! Until next time! Bye!

Episode 79--part two, 11 Childless not by Choice Women who Changed the World

Dave Jackson

Hello everyone! Welcome back to Childless not by Choice, where my mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world. Civilla Morgan here. I am spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life, although we did not have the children we so wanted. Welcome to episode 116! And welcome to February! I hope you have taken a moment and gone to the Shop page of the website for your link to Blueprints for your goals and visions.  This blueprint will walk you through your goals and visions for the entire year. And the best part is you can use the same blueprint every year!    https://childlessnotbychoice.net/product/blueprint-for-your-goals-and-visions/  It is a great way to get your new year off to a great start! The link is in the show notes.  Questions or comments? Contact me at:   Email: civilla@civillamorgan.com                                                  Or   Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.   Well, we have a guest today!  On today’s show, we have...  an award-winning podcaster who has been podcasting since April 2005! He has been helping people understand technology for over 20 years, he launched the School of Podcasting in 2005, and he has helped hundreds of people launch podcasts. He has recorded hundreds of episodes maybe even thousands of his own!  He is literally one of the OG’s of podcasting, and he is in the Podcasting Hall of Fame! Dave Jackson, welcome to the show! Questions:  How many podcasts total?  ‘School of Podcasting’ and ‘Ask the podcast coach’ building a better dave’  Congratulations on all of the accolades, accomplishments, and success in the world of podcasting! And you have a teaching degree correct? What grade level did you teach? How have you decided to deal with the parts of life that did not work out the way you expected?  But there can tend to feel like something is missing unless you have come to terms? Life not turning out as expected causes one to have empathy for others on life’s journey? faith Do you think that getting to teach, whether children or would be podcasters, is the salve to your heart and to your life? Could you leave us with a word of encouragement? Where can we find you online?   How to find Dave Jackson online: https://powerofpodcasting.com/  Patreon Contributors: I would like to thank my Patreon contributors Whether you contribute via patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice, or you go to the website and contribute via PayPal, your contributions are appreciated and used to help the platform to get the word out. Thank you!  My Patrons:  Jordan Morgan The Knights  Articles of interest:  https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2018/nov/17/male-childlessness-not-reproducing-what-am-i  https://www.abc.net.au/life/childfree-men-on-leaving-behind-a-legacy-and-other-pressures/11274052 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3DKJOAmzXP4   Click here for help with creating your goals and visions:     https://childlessnotbychoice.net/product/blueprint-for-your-goals-and-visions/   My contact information:Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.comFacebook: booksbycivillamorganTwitter: @civilla1Instagram: @joyandrelevancePinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSMLinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSMhttps://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice If you would like to become a one time or ongoing sponsor, or if you would like to advertise your business or an upcoming event, contact me at info@civillamorgan.com for details.  Remember, subscription to the podcast is free. Simply go to Apple Podcast, Stitcher Radio, Spotify, Overcast, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Search for Childless not by Choice, and hit the subscribe button. It’s that easy!  Thank you for listening to this episode of Childless not by Choice! Until next time! Bye!   ‘To recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.’   ‘Spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life’.

Hello everyone! Welcome back to Childless not by Choice, where my mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world. Civilla Morgan here. I am spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life, although we did not have the children we so wanted. Welcome to episode 116! And welcome to February! I hope you have taken a moment and gone to the Shop page of the website for your link to Blueprints for your goals and visions.  This blueprint will walk you through your goals and visions for the entire year. And the best part is you can use the same blueprint every year!   <a href="https://childlessnotbychoice.net/product/blueprint-for-your-goals-and-visions/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> https://childlessnotbychoice.net/product/blueprint-for-your-goals-and-visions/</a> It is a great way to get your new year off to a great start! The link is in the show notes.  Questions or comments? Contact me at: Email: civilla@civillamorgan.com                                                Or Visit the website at <a href="http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.childlessnotbychoice.net</a>, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail. Well, we have a guest today!  On today’s show, we have...  an award-winning podcaster who has been podcasting since April 2005! He has been helping people understand technology for over 20 years, he launched the School of Podcasting in 2005, and he has helped hundreds of people launch podcasts. He has recorded hundreds of episodes maybe even thousands of his own!  He is literally one of the OG’s of podcasting, and he is in the Podcasting Hall of Fame! Dave Jackson, welcome to the show! Questions: <ul> <li>How many podcasts total?  ‘School of Podcasting’ and ‘Ask the podcast coach’ building a better dave’ </li> <li>Congratulations on all of the accolades, accomplishments, and success in the world of podcasting! And you have a teaching degree correct? What grade level did you teach?</li> <li>How have you decided to deal with the parts of life that did not work out the way you expected? </li> <li>But there can tend to feel like something is missing unless you have come to terms?</li> <li>Life not turning out as expected causes one to have empathy for others on life’s journey? faith</li> <li>Do you think that getting to teach, whether children or would be podcasters, is the salve to your heart and to your life?</li> <li>Could you leave us with a word of encouragement?</li> <li>Where can we find you online?</li> </ul> How to find Dave Jackson online: <a href="https://powerofpodcasting.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://powerofpodcasting.com/</a> Patreon Contributors: I would like to thank my Patreon contributors Whether you contribute via <a href="http://patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice</a>, or you go to the website and contribute via PayPal, your contributions are appreciated and used to help the platform to get the word out. Thank you!  My Patrons:  Jordan Morgan The Knights Articles of interest: <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2018/nov/17/male-childlessness-not-reproducing-what-am-i" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2018/nov/17/male-childlessness-not-reproducing-what-am-i</a> <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/life/childfree-men-on-leaving-behind-a-legacy-and-other-pressures/11274052" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> https://www.abc.net.au/life/childfree-men-on-leaving-behind-a-legacy-and-other-pressures/11274052</a> <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3DKJOAmzXP4" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3DKJOAmzXP4</a> Click here for help with creating your goals and visions:  <a href="https://childlessnotbychoice.net/product/blueprint-for-your-goals-and-visions/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> https://childlessnotbychoice.net/product/blueprint-for-your-goals-and-visions/</a> My contact information:Website: <a href="http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.childlessnotbychoice.net</a> and www.civillamorgan.comFacebook: booksbycivillamorganTwitter: @civilla1Instagram: @joyandrelevancePinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSMLinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM<a href="https://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice </a>If you would like to become a one time or ongoing sponsor, or if you would like to advertise your business or an upcoming event, contact me at <a href="mailto:info@civillamorgan.com">info@civillamorgan.com</a> for details.  Remember, subscription to the podcast is free. Simply go to Apple Podcast, Stitcher Radio, Spotify, Overcast, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Search for Childless not by Choice, and hit the subscribe button. It’s that easy!  Thank you for listening to this episode of Childless not by Choice! Until next time! Bye! ‘To recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.’ ‘Spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life’.

Episode 116--My Conversation with Dave Jackson  

Pamela Mahoney Tsigdinos

Hello everyone! Welcome back to Childless not by Choice, where my mission is to recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.  Civilla Morgan here. I am spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life, although we could not, did not, have the children we so wanted. Welcome to episode 105!  •Patreon Contributors: (Patreon contributors are those who have taken an interest in my platform whether they fit the childless not by choice demographic or not. They have decided to contribute a certain dollar amount on a regular basis to help fund my dream of creating awareness and conversation for the childless not by choice community globally. Click the Patreon link for details and to become a Patron!)  https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice  Jordan Morgan Ivy Calhoun  Questions or comments? Contact me at: Email: Info@civillamorgan.com                                               Or Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.    Bio/Intro:   Pamela Mahoney Tsigdinos (Sig- DIN - us) is an author, blogger and women's health advocate. She emerged as a reluctant spokeswoman in 2008 after a health reporter from The New York Times asked if she’d be willing to openly discuss her infertility experience. Pamela discussed the stubborn persistence of the infertility condition and the lack of a cultural framework to process the losses associated with being childless not by choice. The New York Times feature story that resulted produced astonishment and relief that someone candidly addressed the trauma of failed IVF and legacy of infertility.  Soon thereafter she wrote what became an award-winning book called Silent Sorority. It became the first memoir on infertility not authored by a mother, Pamela's writing explores the complicated, disenfranchised grief and identity issues that accompany involuntary childlessness. Now more than a decade outside of the grief she once felt so viscerally, she educates and writes about the false promises and limitations of reproductive medicine and the personal and social impacts that accompany failed IVF.  She is the co-founder of the grassroots initiative ReproTechTruths.org.  When she’s not researching and writing she enjoys discussing history, Indie films, documentaries, politics, current events and literature with extended family and friends.  Questions:  In one of your articles, I read that childless not by choice women quote ‘have more time to confront our feelings than the mother who is busy raising or trying to have kids.’ That statement made me a little nervous as I’ve always believed that when we have too much time to think we can go to some dark or negative places, and sometimes that is good, as going to those places can help a healthier mind process and bring thoughts back to a good place resulting hopefully in a positive outcome of our processing. But what do you say to the woman who is still grieving and maybe not quite dealing with negative thoughts properly?          2)  ‘It is quite striking to see that women who do have children but still wish for more children report poorer mental health than those who have no children but have come to accept it.’  This is a quote from your blog ‘Fess Up. What Are Your Blind Spots?’ In that article you made two great points: 1) if you or probably most childless not by choice women had had the child, they, we, wouldn’t grumble about the fact that these women should be happy they got the one. And 2) human nature tends to maintain a level of loss if we don’t get everything we wanted, i.e. the number of children we really wanted. I will be honest, one of my biggest pet peeves is to hear a woman murmur about not being able to have more children. I always want to say ‘are you kidding me right now?’     3) The rest of us — we didn’t even make the cut as outliers — no graphics on the number of women who came away empty-handed after extensive (and expensive) fertility treatments and no graphics on the number of failed adoptions. That would be a great project for those of us running childless not by choice platforms, groups, etc, to gather that information from our readers, listeners, and followers?     4) There is no ‘welcome to the club kit’ for childless not by choice women. We see the rites of passage, but we don’t get to partake.  What should we do instead? What is our rite of passage, and passage to where?   5) As I read the article your blog ‘Prince Harry and I Agree: Bury Grief at Your Peril’, your new neighbor upon hearing that you and your husband were never able to have children and she says ‘you can have one of mine’, I found myself thinking how far we have come as a society to be able to talk about childlessness, but how far we still have to go when people are still using that old, tired line. How far along are we, do you think? Do you think we’ve only just scratched the surface in 2019?    6) In regards to Erik Erickson’s ‘Generativity versus stagnation’ stage--stage seven of his eight stages of the theory of psychosocial development’, (This stage takes place during middle adulthood (ages 40 to 65 yrs).  What can we do as we become older, to help alleviate that helpless feeling that we will leave the planet leaving nothing of consequence behind? Asking for a friend.   Books, Articles, Blogs, by Pamela Tsigdinos:  https://blog.silentsorority.com/pope-prejudice-reinforce-negative-views/ https://blog.silentsorority.com/placing-motherhood-on-pedastel/  https://blog.silentsorority.com/grief/    https://blog.silentsorority.com/how-about-a-time-cover-story-on-women-who-arent-moms-or-childfree/   https://blog.silentsorority.com/blindspots/  https://www.amazon.com/dp/B003PJ7D3U/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&amp;btkr=1   Silent Sorority is an award-winning book. It reveals with candor, humor, and poignancy the intense and at times absurd experience of adjusting to a life as a "non-mom" when nature and science don't cooperate in the family building department. Outside of the physical reckoning there lies the challenge of moving forward in a society that doesn't know how to handle the awkwardness of infertility. With no Emily Post-like guidelines for supporting couples who can't conceive, most well-intentioned "fertile" people miss the mark.    https://www.seleni.org/advice-support/2018/3/6/accepting-childlessness-after-infertility https://www.coming2terms.com/2007/02/03/just-the-beginning/ https://www.coming2terms.com/2009/11/01/the-ultimate-test/ https://www.simplypsychology.org/Erik-Erikson.html  Generativity versus stagnation is the seventh of eight stages of Erik Erikson's theory of psychosocial development. This stage takes place during middle adulthood (ages 40 to 65 yrs). Generativity refers to "making your mark" on the world through creating or nurturing things that will outlast an individual.  People experience a need to create or nurture things that will outlast them, often having mentees or creating positive changes that will benefit other people.  We give back to society through raising our children, being productive at work, and becoming involved in community activities and organizations. Through generativity, we develop a sense of being a part of the bigger picture.  Success leads to feelings of usefulness and accomplishment, while failure results in shallow involvement in the world.  By failing to find a way to contribute, we become stagnant and feel unproductive. These individuals may feel disconnected or uninvolved with their community and with society as a whole. Success in this stage will lead to the virtue of care.    Pamela’s Contact information: Pamela Mahoney Tsigdinos Award-Winning Author &amp; Top Health Blogger Connect: ptsigdinos@yahoo.com @PamelaJeanne  Check out ReproTechTruths and the #UnmaskingIVF campaign    My contact information:  Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.com Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan Twitter: @civilla1 Instagram: @joyandrelevance Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM   Thank you for listening to this episode of Childless not by Choice. I appreciate it!  Until next time! Bye!   ‘To recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.’   ‘Spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life’.

Hello everyone! Welcome back to Childless not by Choice, where my mission is to recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.  Civilla Morgan here. I am spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life, although we could not, did not, have the children we so wanted. Welcome to episode 105! •Patreon Contributors: (Patreon contributors are those who have taken an interest in my platform whether they fit the childless not by choice demographic or not. They have decided to contribute a certain dollar amount on a regular basis to help fund my dream of creating awareness and conversation for the childless not by choice community globally. Click the Patreon link for details and to become a Patron!) <a href="https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice</a> Jordan Morgan Ivy Calhoun Questions or comments? Contact me at: Email: <a href="mailto:Info@civillamorgan.com">Info@civillamorgan.com</a>                                               Or Visit the website at <a href="http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.childlessnotbychoice.net</a>, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail. Bio/Intro: Pamela Mahoney Tsigdinos (Sig- DIN - us) is an author, blogger and women's health advocate. She emerged as a reluctant spokeswoman in 2008 after a health reporter from The New York Times asked if she’d be willing to openly discuss her infertility experience. Pamela discussed the stubborn persistence of the infertility condition and the lack of a cultural framework to process the losses associated with being childless not by choice. The New York Times feature story that resulted produced astonishment and relief that someone candidly addressed the trauma of failed IVF and legacy of infertility. Soon thereafter she wrote what became an award-winning book called Silent Sorority. It became the first memoir on infertility not authored by a mother, Pamela's writing explores the complicated, disenfranchised grief and identity issues that accompany involuntary childlessness. Now more than a decade outside of the grief she once felt so viscerally, she educates and writes about the false promises and limitations of reproductive medicine and the personal and social impacts that accompany failed IVF. She is the co-founder of the grassroots initiative <a href="http://ReproTechTruths.org" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">ReproTechTruths.org</a>.  When she’s not researching and writing she enjoys discussing history, Indie films, documentaries, politics, current events and literature with extended family and friends. Questions: <ol> <li>In one of your articles, I read that childless not by choice women quote ‘have more time to confront our feelings than the mother who is busy raising or trying to have kids.’ That statement made me a little nervous as I’ve always believed that when we have too much time to think we can go to some dark or negative places, and sometimes that is good, as going to those places can help a healthier mind process and bring thoughts back to a good place resulting hopefully in a positive outcome of our processing. But what do you say to the woman who is still grieving and maybe not quite dealing with negative thoughts properly?      </li> </ol> 2)  ‘It is quite striking to see that women who do have children but still wish for more children report poorer mental health than those who have no children but have come to accept it.’  This is a quote from your blog ‘Fess Up. What Are Your Blind Spots?’ In that article you made two great points: 1) if you or probably most childless not by choice women had had the child, they, we, wouldn’t grumble about the fact that these women should be happy they got the one. And 2) human nature tends to maintain a level of loss if we don’t get everything we wanted, i.e. the number of children we really wanted. I will be honest, one of my biggest pet peeves is to hear a woman murmur about not being able to have more children. I always want to say ‘are you kidding me right now?’    3) The rest of us — we didn’t even make the cut as outliers — no graphics on the number of women who came away empty-handed after extensive (and expensive) fertility treatments and no graphics on the number of failed adoptions. That would be a great project for those of us running childless not by choice platforms, groups, etc, to gather that information from our readers, listeners, and followers?   4) There is no ‘welcome to the club kit’ for childless not by choice women. We see the rites of passage, but we don’t get to partake.  What should we do instead? What is our rite of passage, and passage to where? 5) As I read the article your blog ‘Prince Harry and I Agree: Bury Grief at Your Peril’, your new neighbor upon hearing that you and your husband were never able to have children and she says ‘you can have one of mine’, I found myself thinking how far we have come as a society to be able to talk about childlessness, but how far we still have to go when people are still using that old, tired line. How far along are we, do you think? Do you think we’ve only just scratched the surface in 2019?   6) In regards to Erik Erickson’s ‘Generativity versus stagnation’ stage--stage seven of his eight stages of the theory of psychosocial development’, (This stage takes place during middle adulthood (ages 40 to 65 yrs).  What can we do as we become older, to help alleviate that helpless feeling that we will leave the planet leaving nothing of consequence behind? Asking for a friend.  Books, Articles, Blogs, by Pamela Tsigdinos: <a href="https://blog.silentsorority.com/pope-prejudice-reinforce-negative-views/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> https://blog.silentsorority.com/pope-prejudice-reinforce-negative-views/</a> <a href="https://blog.silentsorority.com/placing-motherhood-on-pedastel/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://blog.silentsorority.com/placing-motherhood-on-pedastel/ </a><a href="https://blog.silentsorority.com/grief/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://blog.silentsorority.com/grief/ </a> <a href="https://blog.silentsorority.com/how-about-a-time-cover-story-on-women-who-arent-moms-or-childfree/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> https://blog.silentsorority.com/how-about-a-time-cover-story-on-women-who-arent-moms-or-childfree/ </a> <a href="https://blog.silentsorority.com/blindspots/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://blog.silentsorority.com/blindspots/</a> <a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B003PJ7D3U/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&amp;btkr=1" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> https://www.amazon.com/dp/B003PJ7D3U/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&amp;btkr=1</a> Silent Sorority is an award-winning book. It reveals with candor, humor, and poignancy the intense and at times absurd experience of adjusting to a life as a "non-mom" when nature and science don't cooperate in the family building department. Outside of the physical reckoning there lies the challenge of moving forward in a society that doesn't know how to handle the awkwardness of infertility. With no Emily Post-like guidelines for supporting couples who can't conceive, most well-intentioned "fertile" people miss the mark. <a href="https://www.seleni.org/advice-support/2018/3/6/accepting-childlessness-after-infertility" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> https://www.seleni.org/advice-support/2018/3/6/accepting-childlessness-after-infertility</a> <a href="https://www.coming2terms.com/2007/02/03/just-the-beginning/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.coming2terms.com/2007/02/03/just-the-beginning/</a> <a href="https://www.coming2terms.com/2009/11/01/the-ultimate-test/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.coming2terms.com/2009/11/01/the-ultimate-test/</a> <a href="https://www.simplypsychology.org/Erik-Erikson.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.simplypsychology.org/Erik-Erikson.html </a>Generativity versus stagnation is the seventh of eight stages of Erik Erikson's theory of psychosocial development. This stage takes place during middle adulthood (ages 40 to 65 yrs). Generativity refers to "making your mark" on the world through creating or nurturing things that will outlast an individual. People experience a need to create or nurture things that will outlast them, often having mentees or creating positive changes that will benefit other people. We give back to society through raising our children, being productive at work, and becoming involved in community activities and organizations. Through generativity, we develop a sense of being a part of the bigger picture. Success leads to feelings of usefulness and accomplishment, while failure results in shallow involvement in the world. By failing to find a way to contribute, we become stagnant and feel unproductive. These individuals may feel disconnected or uninvolved with their community and with society as a whole. Success in this stage will lead to the virtue of care. Pamela’s Contact information: Pamela Mahoney Tsigdinos Award-Winning Author &amp; Top Health Blogger Connect: ptsigdinos@yahoo.com @PamelaJeanne Check out ReproTechTruths and the #UnmaskingIVF campaign My contact information: Website: <a href="http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.childlessnotbychoice.net</a> and <a href="http://www.civillamorgan.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.civillamorgan.com</a> Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan Twitter: @civilla1 Instagram: @joyandrelevance Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM Thank you for listening to this episode of Childless not by Choice. I appreciate it! Until next time! Bye! ‘To recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.’ ‘Spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life’.

Episode 105--My interview with Pamela Mahoney Tsigdinos

Robin Hadley

Hello everyone! Civilla Morgan here! Welcome back to Childless not by Choice, where my mission is to recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.  I am spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life; although we could not, did not, have the children we so wanted. Before we get started: Thank you’s:  Thank you for your FB re-shares and your Twitter comments and re-tweets. It is always appreciated. Individual thank you’s if any: Shout outs: Patreon Contributors: (Patreon contributors are those who have taken an interest in my platform whether they fit the childless not by choice demographic or not. They have decided to contribute a certain dollar amount on a regular basis to help fund my dream of creating awareness and conversation for the childless not by choice community globally. Click the Patreon link below for details and to become a Patron!)  Click the link below to become my next Patreon Subscriber:  https://www.patreon.com/21stcenturyhannah  Current Patreon contributors:  Podcaster Sarah Williams of The Tough Girls Podcast Jordan Morgan    Well, today I have a special guest! This wonderful gentleman and I follow each other on Twitter. But one day I took a longer look at his Twitter profile and became intrigued with his platform. He talks about childlessness from a man’s point of view! Many of you recall there was a time when I did not consider the thought that men could have difficulty dealing with childlessness. I am so thankful for growth and for revelation! Since I opened my mind to the fact that men can and do suffer whether emotionally or from society’s expectation, I have had the great opportunity to discuss childlessness from a man’s point of view a couple of times here on the podcast. And now I have the great opportunity to interview Dr. Robin Hadley. Let me tell you a little about him!      Dr. Robin: Was born in 1960 in a working-class area of Manchester (UK). He was the 7th of 8 children, 4 boys and 4 girls. Dr. Robin left school with only a few qualifications. But his wide-ranging careers have included such roles as counsellor, deputy technical manager, and scientific and technical photographer (28 years), kitchen assistant, and even bartender. Dr. Robin’s training as a counsellor and his own experience of the desire for fatherhood, led him to research the subject of involuntarily childless men’s desire for fatherhood as research dissertation for his Master of Arts in Counselling, The University of Manchester. He followed up with a self-funded Master of Science (again at The University of Manchester) exploring the levels of desire for parenthood (‘broodiness’) in females and males, parents and non-parents. He was a Social Gerontology PhD studentship at Keele University in 2010. And for his PhD study examined the experiences of involuntarily childless older men, and awarded his PhD in December 2015. Post PhD, Dr. Robin has held a number of short term Research Associate posts on projects relating to ageing, dementia, technology, and fathers influence on infant feeding. Welcome Dr. Robin! *Please note that Dr. Robin’s contact information, along with links to his Theses are in the show notes. Questions:  First, for our non-UK listeners, tell us exactly what ‘broodiness’ means. I believe the term may be used in a slightly different way here in America!     In our first meeting, I asked if you are childless not by choice and you advised you are. Was it due to circumstance or was it biological? I may seem nosey, but I know there are many men listening, and I want them to realize they are not alone. In your research, you mentioned the biological clock. Did you find that men have biological clocks like women do, in a different way, or not at all?     In your thesis, you said: quote: ‘Research has mainly focussed on family and women, with the fertility intentions, history and experience, of older men being overlooked. Most nations do not collect the fertility history of men and consequently, it is impossible to judge the population level of childless men. Although involuntary childlessness has frequently only been associated with infertility treatment there is growing recognition that there is a latent population that is absent from research literature. ‘Have you seen any change in the two years since you wrote this?     In your PhD Thesis Summary where you mentioned the research of the 14 men aged 49-82, did you notice a trend of any type, aside from the ongoing grieving, was there anything that stood out or that surprised you about their responses? I am assuming grieving is ongoing?     Did you have the opportunity to teach these men anything that would help them cope with childlessness? Is there a word of encouragement that you can share with the male listeners?     ‘Post PhD, you have held a number of short term Research Associate posts on projects relating to aging, dementia, technology, and fathers influence on infant feeding. Tell us more about this research, such as did you recognize an elevated level of dementia, or any other negative impact on the men you researched?     In closing, is there anything you would like to add, anything I missed? There was so much, and I found your thesis papers intriguing. So I am sure there was much more we could have discussed!    Dr. Robin’s contact information: http://www.robinhadley.co.uk/index.shtml   Specialty areas include: men, masculinity, male childlessness and infertility, fatherhood, gender, aging, older men, impact of childlessness/infertility, family.   Dr. Robin’s Papers, Thesis and MSc Thesis: http://bit.ly/2fg0RLc   https://drive.google.com/file/d/0By0paj_-gAAbbXVIR3drQjVGdGM/view?usp=sharing   Closing: Thank you for listening to this episode of Childless not by Choice. If you found value in this episode, or the podcast and platform in general, feel free to visit my Patreon site. See the link below. Patreon gives you the opportunity to schedule monthly contributions of any amount, to a platform for which you find value! Please also feel free to visit iTunes now known as Apple Podcast, or just go to the website and subscribe to the podcast. It would be appreciated!   News stories and articles on childlessness… http://www.vogue.co.uk/article/surrogacy-in-the-uk    My contact information: Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.com Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan Twitter: @civilla1 Instagram: @joyandrelevance Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM https://www.patreon.com/21stcenturyhannah   Do you use hashtags? Would you consider helping me spread the word about the Childless not by Choice platform by using them in your social media posts when telling others about the platform—podcast, blogs, etc.? #childlessnotbychoice #21stcenturyhannah #awarenesscreator #civillamorgan Thank you!  Would you help me out by taking this short survey? The survey helps me to know who is listening which helps me with producing correct content for my listeners.    https://survey.libsyn.com/21stcenturyhannah    Until next time, thank you! bye! 

Hello everyone! Civilla Morgan here! Welcome back to Childless not by Choice, where my mission is to recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.  I am spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life; although we could not, did not, have the children we so wanted. Before we get started: Thank you’s: <ul> <li>Thank you for your FB re-shares and your Twitter comments and re-tweets. It is always appreciated.</li> <li>Individual thank you’s if any:</li> <li>Shout outs:</li> <li>Patreon Contributors: (Patreon contributors are those who have taken an interest in my platform whether they fit the childless not by choice demographic or not. They have decided to contribute a certain dollar amount on a regular basis to help fund my dream of creating awareness and conversation for the childless not by choice community globally. Click the Patreon link below for details and to become a Patron!)</li> </ul> Click the link below to become my next Patreon Subscriber: <a href="https://www.patreon.com/21stcenturyhannah" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.patreon.com/21stcenturyhannah</a>  Current Patreon contributors: <ul> <li>Podcaster Sarah Williams of The Tough Girls Podcast</li> <li>Jordan Morgan</li> </ul> Well, today I have a special guest! This wonderful gentleman and I follow each other on Twitter. But one day I took a longer look at his Twitter profile and became intrigued with his platform. He talks about childlessness from a man’s point of view! Many of you recall there was a time when I did not consider the thought that men could have difficulty dealing with childlessness. I am so thankful for growth and for revelation! Since I opened my mind to the fact that men can and do suffer whether emotionally or from society’s expectation, I have had the great opportunity to discuss childlessness from a man’s point of view a couple of times here on the podcast. And now I have the great opportunity to interview Dr. Robin Hadley. Let me tell you a little about him!      Dr. Robin: Was born in 1960 in a working-class area of Manchester (UK). He was the 7th of 8 children, 4 boys and 4 girls. Dr. Robin left school with only a few qualifications. But his wide-ranging careers have included such roles as counsellor, deputy technical manager, and scientific and technical photographer (28 years), kitchen assistant, and even bartender. Dr. Robin’s training as a counsellor and his own experience of the desire for fatherhood, led him to research the subject of involuntarily childless men’s desire for fatherhood as research dissertation for his Master of Arts in Counselling, The University of Manchester. He followed up with a self-funded Master of Science (again at The University of Manchester) exploring the levels of desire for parenthood (‘broodiness’) in females and males, parents and non-parents. He was a Social Gerontology PhD studentship at Keele University in 2010. And for his PhD study examined the experiences of involuntarily childless older men, and awarded his PhD in December 2015. Post PhD, Dr. Robin has held a number of short term Research Associate posts on projects relating to ageing, dementia, technology, and fathers influence on infant feeding. Welcome Dr. Robin! *Please note that Dr. Robin’s contact information, along with links to his Theses are in the show notes. Questions: <ul> <li>First, for our non-UK listeners, tell us exactly what ‘broodiness’ means. I believe the term may be used in a slightly different way here in America!</li> </ul> <ul> <li>In our first meeting, I asked if you are childless not by choice and you advised you are. Was it due to circumstance or was it biological? I may seem nosey, but I know there are many men listening, and I want them to realize they are not alone.</li> <li>In your research, you mentioned the biological clock. Did you find that men have biological clocks like women do, in a different way, or not at all?</li> </ul> <ul> <li>In your thesis, you said: quote: ‘Research has mainly focussed on family and women, with the fertility intentions, history and experience, of older men being overlooked. Most nations do not collect the fertility history of men and consequently, it is impossible to judge the population level of childless men. Although involuntary childlessness has frequently only been associated with infertility treatment there is growing recognition that there is a latent population that is absent from research literature. ‘Have you seen any change in the two years since you wrote this?</li> </ul> <ul> <li>In your PhD Thesis Summary where you mentioned the research of the 14 men aged 49-82, did you notice a trend of any type, aside from the ongoing grieving, was there anything that stood out or that surprised you about their responses? I am assuming grieving is ongoing?</li> </ul> <ul> <li>Did you have the opportunity to teach these men anything that would help them cope with childlessness?</li> <li>Is there a word of encouragement that you can share with the male listeners?</li> </ul> <ul> <li>‘Post PhD, you have held a number of short term Research Associate posts on projects relating to aging, dementia, technology, and fathers influence on infant feeding. Tell us more about this research, such as did you recognize an elevated level of dementia, or any other negative impact on the men you researched?</li> </ul> <ul> <li>In closing, is there anything you would like to add, anything I missed? There was so much, and I found your thesis papers intriguing. So I am sure there was much more we could have discussed!</li> </ul> Dr. Robin’s contact information: <a href="http://www.robinhadley.co.uk/index.shtml" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">http://www.robinhadley.co.uk/index.shtml</a> Specialty areas include: men, masculinity, male childlessness and infertility, fatherhood, gender, aging, older men, impact of childlessness/infertility, family. Dr. Robin’s Papers, Thesis and MSc Thesis: <a href="http://bit.ly/2fg0RLc" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">http://bit.ly/2fg0RLc</a> <a href="https://drive.google.com/file/d/0By0paj_-gAAbbXVIR3drQjVGdGM/view?usp=sharing" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> https://drive.google.com/file/d/0By0paj_-gAAbbXVIR3drQjVGdGM/view?usp=sharing</a> Closing: Thank you for listening to this episode of Childless not by Choice. If you found value in this episode, or the podcast and platform in general, feel free to visit my Patreon site. See the link below. Patreon gives you the opportunity to schedule monthly contributions of any amount, to a platform for which you find value! Please also feel free to visit iTunes now known as Apple Podcast, or just go to the website and subscribe to the podcast. It would be appreciated! News stories and articles on childlessness… <a href="http://www.vogue.co.uk/article/surrogacy-in-the-uk" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">http://www.vogue.co.uk/article/surrogacy-in-the-uk</a>  My contact information: Website: <a href="http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.childlessnotbychoice.net</a> and <a href="http://www.civillamorgan.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.civillamorgan.com</a> Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan Twitter: @civilla1 Instagram: @joyandrelevance Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM <a href="https://www.patreon.com/21stcenturyhannah" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.patreon.com/21stcenturyhannah</a> Do you use hashtags? Would you consider helping me spread the word about the Childless not by Choice platform by using them in your social media posts when telling others about the platform—podcast, blogs, etc.? #childlessnotbychoice #21stcenturyhannah #awarenesscreator #civillamorgan Thank you! Would you help me out by taking this short survey? The survey helps me to know who is listening which helps me with producing correct content for my listeners.   <a href="https://survey.libsyn.com/21stcenturyhannah" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://survey.libsyn.com/21stcenturyhannah</a> Until next time, thank you! bye!

Episode 72--Male and childless not by choice, my interview with Dr. Robin Hadley

Thank you for visiting Childless not by Choice. Remember to help me get the word out by telling your friends about the show. Feel free to share with your social media followers! Well, my mission is to recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world. I am spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life, although we could not, did not, have the children we so wanted.    Patreon Contributors: (Patreon contributors are those who have taken an interest in my platform whether they fit the childless not by choice demographic or not. They have decided to contribute a certain dollar amount on a regular basis to help fund my dream of creating awareness and conversation for the childless not by choice community globally. Click the Patreon link for details and to become a Patron!)    https://www.patreon.com/21stcenturyhannah    Jordan Morgan    As I conducted the research for this episode, I got to thinking, you know, the decision to adopt is like just about any other decision that you make with forethought, common sense, and planning. I mean what to have for lunch does not take much planning at least for the most part unless you are planning a special lunch. Planning what route to take to get to a special event may take some research and then some planning, but it should be figured out quickly. Then decisions can become gradually more difficult. Where to live, should you buy or rent, date this person, marry that person. Those take much more research and planning. At least they should. But bringing a child into your life via adoption, how much thought should you put into that? Did you think about the child during the process, the child’s personality, the child’s racial or ethnic background; or were you thinking about getting the funding together to complete the adoption? Did you think about whether you would tell the child he or she was adopted if he or she was the same race as you? What if you ended up having a biological baby, would you still love the adopted child the same way? How would your family treat the adopted child? Did you think about behavioral issues as the child matured? Would you feel guilt over regretting that you adopted the child?   When you think about it, it’s much like getting engaged and planning a wedding right? Yeah, I know, I’ve never been married, but indulge me. Allow me to exercise common sense and the marriages I witness daily. If you are married, did you do any soul-searching, marriage counseling, therapy-seeking, talking to couples who have been married for a million years before you said, ‘I do’? Or did you jump in feet first because it was time? And in either case, soul-searching or jumping in feet first, did the marriage still have rocky roads, speed bumps, and brick walls, or was it smooth sailing? Hint: whether you did the pre-marital things or not, there will still be rocky roads, speed bumps, and brick walls. But hopefully, you married someone who is all in, like you. Are you all in for the adoption?   OK, I will let you think about those questions. back to adopting a child. (pause) Well, wait. (pause) Did you consider the child? (pause) Or did you just consider your feelings, the ones that emanate from within as well as the ones society put upon you?  You know, like I mentioned earlier, it is just time and since you can’t have one of your own, you will just adopt. I know, by now some of you are probably mad at me, calling me a hater because I did not have a child. You know, that one child, that little boy I always talk about. Yes, I thought I would have a little boy. I even had a name picked out for him. But I will tell you that I also attempted to adopt on two different occasions. So, you may think me a hater. But I will tell you I never considered any of the above questions I mentioned above.  I just felt it was time, husband or not, it was time to have a child—of my own or by adoption. Society and my thoughts were weighing on me continually. There was a battlefield going on in my mind constantly! ‘You know you’re the only one who doesn’t have a child don’t you?’ ‘People are watching you, and the wonder what is wrong with you’.  One of my worst thought battles was ‘people feel sorry for you, they are pitying you’. But there were good thoughts too, I really wanted to nurture and train up a child. I wanted to pour into a child so badly. I wanted to read bedtime stories, teach my child how to read especially since I started reading at an early age. I wanted to teach my child how to live in and be able to interact with anyone anywhere. I wanted to teach my child class because we all know you can’t buy class. I wanted to teach him or her that love of family was important, and love of God was foremost. But none of that happened, because I never had the child, and I never got to adopt.          I only thought about my need to nurture a child. I only thought about how society must have viewed me, and probably still does. Husbandless, childless, weird, non-conformist, anti-establishment. You know the establishment. Get married, have children and ‘settle down’ like normal people. And when I attempted to explain that I just never met the right man, I would be told to just settle. Just take what I can get and get into alignment with society’s norms. Then I realized I do not owe anyone an explanation. I am not asking you not to adopt. There are a lot of beautiful children around the world who need love, nurturing, and guidance.  I am simply asking you to think about the reasons for your decision to adopt. Consider all aspects of the adoption. Consider the child. And then consider this: What would adopting a child do for you? What would you do if you were not allowed to adopt—i.e., turned down by an agency, not enough money, not enough income, etc.? What are your alternatives if you were turned down? There is a saying here in the US, ‘check your heart’.  What is your heart saying about adopting? Really.     Notes and corrections: The exam was 250 questions with eight hours to finish, not 125 questions. The verse I was trying to remember: “A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.”—Luke 6:45     Content mentioned in the episode:  http://childlessnotbychoice.net/falling-through-the-cracks/ http://childlessnotbychoice.net/elderly-childless-ready/  http://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-70-waiting-wombs-trust-my-interview-with-founder-hadassa-trip/   https://www.pinterest.com/Civilla1/     Links/sites used for research:  https://adoption.com/forums/thread/373947/the-right-reasons-to-adopt/   https://www.babble.com/pregnancy/14-reasons-you-shouldnt-adopt/     Articles of interest:  http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5463967/Childless-couple-parents-adopt-nine-siblings.html    https://www.tuko.co.ke/267894-they-dont-children-kambua-speaks-trolled-pregnant.html#267894           My contact information: Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.com Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan Twitter: @civilla1 Instagram: @joyandrelevance Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM (https://www.pinterest.com/Civilla1/)   LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM   Please help me out by taking this very short survey! https://survey.libsyn.com/21stcenturyhannah   Thank you for listening to this episode of Childless not by Choice. I appreciate it!   Until next time! Bye!

Thank you for visiting Childless not by Choice. Remember to help me get the word out by telling your friends about the show. Feel free to share with your social media followers! Well, my mission is to recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world. I am spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life, although we could not, did not, have the children we so wanted. <ul> <li>Patreon Contributors: (Patreon contributors are those who have taken an interest in my platform whether they fit the childless not by choice demographic or not. They have decided to contribute a certain dollar amount on a regular basis to help fund my dream of creating awareness and conversation for the childless not by choice community globally. Click the Patreon link for details and to become a Patron!)</li> </ul> <a href="https://www.patreon.com/21stcenturyhannah" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.patreon.com/21stcenturyhannah</a> <ul> <li>Jordan Morgan</li> </ul> As I conducted the research for this episode, I got to thinking, you know, the decision to adopt is like just about any other decision that you make with forethought, common sense, and planning. I mean what to have for lunch does not take much planning at least for the most part unless you are planning a special lunch. Planning what route to take to get to a special event may take some research and then some planning, but it should be figured out quickly. Then decisions can become gradually more difficult. Where to live, should you buy or rent, date this person, marry that person. Those take much more research and planning. At least they should. But bringing a child into your life via adoption, how much thought should you put into that? Did you think about the child during the process, the child’s personality, the child’s racial or ethnic background; or were you thinking about getting the funding together to complete the adoption? Did you think about whether you would tell the child he or she was adopted if he or she was the same race as you? What if you ended up having a biological baby, would you still love the adopted child the same way? How would your family treat the adopted child? Did you think about behavioral issues as the child matured? Would you feel guilt over regretting that you adopted the child? When you think about it, it’s much like getting engaged and planning a wedding right? Yeah, I know, I’ve never been married, but indulge me. Allow me to exercise common sense and the marriages I witness daily. If you are married, did you do any soul-searching, marriage counseling, therapy-seeking, talking to couples who have been married for a million years before you said, ‘I do’? Or did you jump in feet first because it was time? And in either case, soul-searching or jumping in feet first, did the marriage still have rocky roads, speed bumps, and brick walls, or was it smooth sailing? Hint: whether you did the pre-marital things or not, there will still be rocky roads, speed bumps, and brick walls. But hopefully, you married someone who is all in, like you. Are you all in for the adoption?   OK, I will let you think about those questions. back to adopting a child. (pause) Well, wait. (pause) Did you consider the child? (pause) Or did you just consider your feelings, the ones that emanate from within as well as the ones society put upon you?  You know, like I mentioned earlier, it is just time and since you can’t have one of your own, you will just adopt. I know, by now some of you are probably mad at me, calling me a hater because I did not have a child. You know, that one child, that little boy I always talk about. Yes, I thought I would have a little boy. I even had a name picked out for him. But I will tell you that I also attempted to adopt on two different occasions. So, you may think me a hater. But I will tell you I never considered any of the above questions I mentioned above.  I just felt it was time, husband or not, it was time to have a child—of my own or by adoption. Society and my thoughts were weighing on me continually. There was a battlefield going on in my mind constantly! ‘You know you’re the only one who doesn’t have a child don’t you?’ ‘People are watching you, and the wonder what is wrong with you’.  One of my worst thought battles was ‘people feel sorry for you, they are pitying you’. But there were good thoughts too, I really wanted to nurture and train up a child. I wanted to pour into a child so badly. I wanted to read bedtime stories, teach my child how to read especially since I started reading at an early age. I wanted to teach my child how to live in and be able to interact with anyone anywhere. I wanted to teach my child class because we all know you can’t buy class. I wanted to teach him or her that love of family was important, and love of God was foremost. But none of that happened, because I never had the child, and I never got to adopt.          I only thought about my need to nurture a child. I only thought about how society must have viewed me, and probably still does. Husbandless, childless, weird, non-conformist, anti-establishment. You know the establishment. Get married, have children and ‘settle down’ like normal people. And when I attempted to explain that I just never met the right man, I would be told to just settle. Just take what I can get and get into alignment with society’s norms. Then I realized I do not owe anyone an explanation. I am not asking you not to adopt. There are a lot of beautiful children around the world who need love, nurturing, and guidance.  I am simply asking you to think about the reasons for your decision to adopt. Consider all aspects of the adoption. Consider the child. And then consider this: What would adopting a child do for you? What would you do if you were not allowed to adopt—i.e., turned down by an agency, not enough money, not enough income, etc.? What are your alternatives if you were turned down? There is a saying here in the US, ‘check your heart’.  What is your heart saying about adopting? Really. Notes and corrections: The exam was 250 questions with eight hours to finish, not 125 questions. The verse I was trying to remember: “A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.”—Luke 6:45 Content mentioned in the episode: <a href="http://childlessnotbychoice.net/falling-through-the-cracks/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> http://childlessnotbychoice.net/falling-through-the-cracks/</a> <a href="http://childlessnotbychoice.net/elderly-childless-ready/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">http://childlessnotbychoice.net/elderly-childless-ready/</a> <a href="http://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-70-waiting-wombs-trust-my-interview-with-founder-hadassa-trip/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> http://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-70-waiting-wombs-trust-my-interview-with-founder-hadassa-trip/</a> <a href="https://www.pinterest.com/Civilla1/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.pinterest.com/Civilla1/</a> Links/sites used for research: <a href="https://adoption.com/forums/thread/373947/the-right-reasons-to-adopt/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> https://adoption.com/forums/thread/373947/the-right-reasons-to-adopt/</a> <a href="https://www.babble.com/pregnancy/14-reasons-you-shouldnt-adopt/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.babble.com/pregnancy/14-reasons-you-shouldnt-adopt/</a> Articles of interest: <a href="http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5463967/Childless-couple-parents-adopt-nine-siblings.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5463967/Childless-couple-parents-adopt-nine-siblings.html</a> <a href="https://www.tuko.co.ke/267894-they-dont-children-kambua-speaks-trolled-pregnant.html#267894" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> https://www.tuko.co.ke/267894-they-dont-children-kambua-speaks-trolled-pregnant.html#267894</a> My contact information: Website: <a href="http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.childlessnotbychoice.net</a> and <a href="http://www.civillamorgan.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.civillamorgan.com</a> Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan Twitter: @civilla1 Instagram: @joyandrelevance Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM (<a href="https://www.pinterest.com/Civilla1/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.pinterest.com/Civilla1/</a>) LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM Please help me out by taking this very short survey! <a href="https://survey.libsyn.com/21stcenturyhannah" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://survey.libsyn.com/21stcenturyhannah</a> Thank you for listening to this episode of Childless not by Choice. I appreciate it! Until next time! Bye!

Episode 82--Adopt for the right reasons 

Hello hello, hello everyone! Civilla Morgan here! Merry Christmas! And welcome back to another episode of Childless, not by Choice, where my mission is to recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.  I am spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life, although we could not, did not, have the children we so wanted.    Thank you to my Patreon Contributors: (Patreon contributors are those who have taken an interest in my platform whether they fit the childless not by choice demographic or not. They have decided to contribute a certain dollar amount on a regular basis to help fund my dream of creating awareness and conversation for the childless not by choice community globally. Click the Patreon link for details and to become a Patron!)    https://www.patreon.com/21stcenturyhannah    Podcaster Sarah Williams of The Tough Girls Podcast Jordan Morgan    iTunes Reviews: October 10, 2017, by Ateqers from the United Kingdom: 'It is an excellent program, full of insightful comments and educational.'  Thank you Ateqers, hope I am pronouncing your name/handle correctly, for your comment and for your five-star review.  It is greatly appreciated!    Many of you listen to this podcast on different platforms. Google Play Radio, Stitcher Radio, Apple Podcast, my website, just to name a few. But I am happy to announce that you may now listen on Spotify! How exciting right?   Well, I am so excited about today’s episode. I LOVE Christmas and to be able to post the final episode of the year on Christmas Day has me as excited as a kid in a candy store, literally! So, let's get started. I wanted to tell you about how the ladies in the Facebook group are doing, in their own words. I think it is fitting as we come to the end of 2017, that we look back at the growth: The growth of the women in the group and the growth of the platform! Here is the first post:  Ladies who have found solace in the group:  Gaby--In one week, it will be the 4th anniversary of my 3rd miscarriage. Unfortunately, all my miscarriages have been during the holidays (Thanksgiving or Christmas). This time of year is always difficult - I'm sure for us all. I'm trying to focus on charity work for children in need. I also joined a mentor program for young girls who have few to no resources around them. While helping others may not replace having your own children, channeling the mourning and at times regret into something positive is hugely helpful. No specific reason to post other than to share with you all, my sisters on this challenging path. Thank you for being here.  I wanted to add that when I asked Gaby how she felt now at the end of the year compared to January, she said the following: “By the way, I feel about the same since January. Strong and grateful, with a side order of some fear and sadness. They are all collocated. Coming to the group has almost immediately taken away my feelings of being alone.” I wanted to add that because I believed that would resonate with a lot of you.  Joanna (upon welcoming a new member to the group) ‘Hi ----, I joined at the weekend for the same reason. So grateful for the group and glad you found us too. I feel better for the support in just a few days. Just knowing that people understand.’ I also wanted to add a word of encouragement given to Joanna by a good friend of hers who has children:     Debbie—‘Tomorrow my niece gets married. In all honesty, besides excitement for her, my husband and I are sad by what we will never experience. I made a decision about 6 months ago that if I start to feel discouraged over something to reach out and be an encouragement to someone. So, yesterday I wrote a message to my sister-in-law and brother-in-law because I knew that even though this is an exciting time there has to be some emotion of "giving their daughter away." She responded that the message was needed and timely. I know we all have an ache that most do not understand. I am learning to put myself in other’s shoes, reach out and be an encouragement and what do I find? It helps me to not fall into the 'pit of despair." The journey of life is hard enough. What do you do when you start to see yourself fall into discouragement over being childless not by choice?’    Aren’t those wonderful testimonials to the growth that can happen when we choose to push through our pain? These ladies are just awesome for choosing to share their growth and their pain, knowing that in doing so, you can be helped. If you are childless not by choice and you would like to join a group that cries, encourages, commiserates, and grows through pain; Childless not by Choice with Civilla Morgan is the place to be. There is also the Childless not by Choice Supporters with Civilla Morgan Facebook group. So, come on in and join the conversation. There is a place for everyone! Well, what a year this has been! I have witnessed the growth of the platform, engagement from the women in the group, wonderful words of thanks and encouragement for how this platform has helped them push through to a better place.  I have a second Patreon contributor now. My heart is forever touched by the thoughtful gifts of beautiful 2018 calendars and chocolate covered Macadamia nuts from Janice. And the financial contribution for microphones from Susan! How cool was that?! Thank you, Janice and Susan! I am loving this sense of community that has been created.  And I know it will only continue into 2018 and the years ahead. We are getting the word out that there is an entire demographic of women, and men, around the world, who exist and in some cases, hide in plain sight! Awareness is being created, and conversations are being had.        Hearts are being healed, and relationships are being built or re-built! Those stories of healing and strengthened relationships are gifts to me, just as tangible as the ones I mentioned earlier. I can’t wait to see how 2018 will witness more help and healing! I hope you will join us, and join the conversation!  My contact information: Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.com Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan Twitter: @civilla1 Instagram: @joyandrelevance Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM   Please help me out by taking this very short survey! https://survey.libsyn.com/21stcenturyhannah   Thank you for listening to this episode of Childless not by Choice. It is appreciated!   Until next time! Bye!

Hello hello, hello everyone! Civilla Morgan here! Merry Christmas! And welcome back to another episode of Childless, not by Choice, where my mission is to recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.  I am spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life, although we could not, did not, have the children we so wanted. <ul> <li>Thank you to my Patreon Contributors: (Patreon contributors are those who have taken an interest in my platform whether they fit the childless not by choice demographic or not. They have decided to contribute a certain dollar amount on a regular basis to help fund my dream of creating awareness and conversation for the childless not by choice community globally. Click the Patreon link for details and to become a Patron!)</li> </ul> <a href="https://www.patreon.com/21stcenturyhannah" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.patreon.com/21stcenturyhannah</a> <ul> <li>Podcaster Sarah Williams of The Tough Girls Podcast</li> <li>Jordan Morgan</li> </ul> iTunes Reviews: October 10, 2017, by Ateqers from the United Kingdom: 'It is an excellent program, full of insightful comments and educational.'  Thank you Ateqers, hope I am pronouncing your name/handle correctly, for your comment and for your five-star review.  It is greatly appreciated!  Many of you listen to this podcast on different platforms. Google Play Radio, Stitcher Radio, Apple Podcast, my website, just to name a few. But I am happy to announce that you may now listen on Spotify! How exciting right? Well, I am so excited about today’s episode. I LOVE Christmas and to be able to post the final episode of the year on Christmas Day has me as excited as a kid in a candy store, literally! So, let's get started. I wanted to tell you about how the ladies in the Facebook group are doing, in their own words. I think it is fitting as we come to the end of 2017, that we look back at the growth: The growth of the women in the group and the growth of the platform! Here is the first post:  Ladies who have found solace in the group: <ul> <li>Gaby--In one week, it will be the 4th anniversary of my 3rd miscarriage. Unfortunately, all my miscarriages have been during the holidays (Thanksgiving or Christmas). This time of year is always difficult - I'm sure for us all. I'm trying to focus on charity work for children in need. I also joined a mentor program for young girls who have few to no resources around them. While helping others may not replace having your own children, channeling the mourning and at times regret into something positive is hugely helpful. No specific reason to post other than to share with you all, my sisters on this challenging path. Thank you for being here.</li> </ul> I wanted to add that when I asked Gaby how she felt now at the end of the year compared to January, she said the following: “By the way, I feel about the same since January. Strong and grateful, with a side order of some fear and sadness. They are all collocated. Coming to the group has almost immediately taken away my feelings of being alone.” I wanted to add that because I believed that would resonate with a lot of you. <ul> <li>Joanna (upon welcoming a new member to the group) ‘Hi ----, I joined at the weekend for the same reason. So grateful for the group and glad you found us too. I feel better for the support in just a few days. Just knowing that people understand.’ I also wanted to add a word of encouragement given to Joanna by a good friend of hers who has children:</li> </ul> <ul> <li>Debbie—‘Tomorrow my niece gets married. In all honesty, besides excitement for her, my husband and I are sad by what we will never experience. I made a decision about 6 months ago that if I start to feel discouraged over something to reach out and be an encouragement to someone. So, yesterday I wrote a message to my sister-in-law and brother-in-law because I knew that even though this is an exciting time there has to be some emotion of "giving their daughter away." She responded that the message was needed and timely. I know we all have an ache that most do not understand. I am learning to put myself in other’s shoes, reach out and be an encouragement and what do I find? It helps me to not fall into the 'pit of despair." The journey of life is hard enough. What do you do when you start to see yourself fall into discouragement over being childless not by choice?’</li> </ul> Aren’t those wonderful testimonials to the growth that can happen when we choose to push through our pain? These ladies are just awesome for choosing to share their growth and their pain, knowing that in doing so, you can be helped. If you are childless not by choice and you would like to join a group that cries, encourages, commiserates, and grows through pain; Childless not by Choice with Civilla Morgan is the place to be. There is also the Childless not by Choice Supporters with Civilla Morgan Facebook group. So, come on in and join the conversation. There is a place for everyone! Well, what a year this has been! I have witnessed the growth of the platform, engagement from the women in the group, wonderful words of thanks and encouragement for how this platform has helped them push through to a better place.  I have a second Patreon contributor now. My heart is forever touched by the thoughtful gifts of beautiful 2018 calendars and chocolate covered Macadamia nuts from Janice. And the financial contribution for microphones from Susan! How cool was that?! Thank you, Janice and Susan! I am loving this sense of community that has been created.  And I know it will only continue into 2018 and the years ahead. We are getting the word out that there is an entire demographic of women, and men, around the world, who exist and in some cases, hide in plain sight! Awareness is being created, and conversations are being had.        Hearts are being healed, and relationships are being built or re-built! Those stories of healing and strengthened relationships are gifts to me, just as tangible as the ones I mentioned earlier. I can’t wait to see how 2018 will witness more help and healing! I hope you will join us, and join the conversation! My contact information: Website: <a href="http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.childlessnotbychoice.net</a> and <a href="http://www.civillamorgan.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.civillamorgan.com</a> Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan Twitter: @civilla1 Instagram: @joyandrelevance Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM Please help me out by taking this very short survey! <a href="https://survey.libsyn.com/21stcenturyhannah" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://survey.libsyn.com/21stcenturyhannah</a> Thank you for listening to this episode of Childless not by Choice. It is appreciated! Until next time! Bye!

Episode 77—Merry Christmas Everyone!

The best podcast episodes on physical health. Episodes talk about your diet, sleep, exercise and all the things that people do to improve their physical health and live a healthier life. This topic is for everyone, with applications in all of our everyday lives. Add episodes you're interested into your queue below!

Best Episodes on Physical Health & Your Body

What is this?
1 quote, 3 ideas & 1 question from a carefully curated podcast episode.
Every Monday & Wednesday.

Want a 3rd insight and episode every week? Email me at curation@owltail.com.