Cover image of Welcome To Patchwork

Welcome To Patchwork

Nominated for 'Best Comedy' at the Australian Podcast Awards 2018 & 2019 Have you ever wondered if it’s acceptable to bring food to someone's house and take it back home if no one has eaten it? We... Read more

Ranked #1

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Patch #50 - How Many Chips Should You Take From A Packet Offered To You?

Patch #50 - How Many Chips Should You Take From A Packet Offered To You?

Dion reflects on 50 episodes with his favourite barber. How many chips should you take from a packet offered to you? Can... Read more

20 Aug 2019

36mins

Ranked #2

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Patch #30 - Season 2 Retrospective (Part 2)

Patch #30 - Season 2 Retrospective (Part 2)

#MugQuest, Dion's increasing frustration with Google Home, our discussion about the party pop-in pops back in and the Cu... Read more

10 Jul 2018

35mins

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Ranked #3

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Patch #42 - Can You Refuse To Catch Up With A New Friend?

Patch #42 - Can You Refuse To Catch Up With A New Friend?

Christian sweats over his water bottle, refusing to catch up with new friends and Josh wonders how many reminders you ne... Read more

26 Feb 2019

34mins

Ranked #4

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Patch #9 - Lovely Leathery Juice

Patch #9 - Lovely Leathery Juice

The Rooibos Challenge, A Casual Quest, Christian in a cafe, Dion takes an Uber, where we keep our dirty clothes, Josh ha... Read more

4 Jul 2017

39mins

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Ranked #5

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Patch #17 - A Very Patchwork Christmas

Patch #17 - A Very Patchwork Christmas

In this special Christmas Patch, Josh gets no love from a girl at Officeworks, we chat about our Christmas experiences, ... Read more

19 Dec 2017

43mins

Ranked #6

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Patch #31 - How Many Biscuits Is It OK To Eat In One Sitting?

Patch #31 - How Many Biscuits Is It OK To Eat In One Sitting?

Christian's Apple watch purchase and Josh's biscuit eating habits. With special guests Mr Minute, Do You Remember? and R... Read more

11 Sep 2018

28mins

Ranked #7

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Patch #52 - Should You Cut Off Someone Who Is Repeating A Story?

Patch #52 - Should You Cut Off Someone Who Is Repeating A Story?

Dion freezes under the pressure of an overflowing beer; cutting off someone who is repeating a story; Christian picks a ... Read more

17 Sep 2019

33mins

Ranked #8

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Patch #59 - Can You Ask Staff At A Venue To Charge Your Phone? ft. Sammy J

Patch #59 - Can You Ask Staff At A Venue To Charge Your Phone? ft. Sammy J

Our very special guest this episode is the multi-talented Australian comedian and composer, Sammy J. Do venues need to c... Read more

7 Jan 2020

44mins

Ranked #9

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Patch #53 - What Do You Owe Someone Who Gives You A Lift?

Patch #53 - What Do You Owe Someone Who Gives You A Lift?

Would you share your lottery winnings? How about if the ticket was bought for you? Can you refuse to lend a book to a fr... Read more

1 Oct 2019

33mins

Ranked #10

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Patch #51 - Can An Object Save Your Spot In A Line?

Patch #51 - Can An Object Save Your Spot In A Line?

Can you let yourself into someone's house? Can a personal item save your place in a queue? And how long can you leave th... Read more

3 Sep 2019

30mins

Ranked #11

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Patch #15 - Leave A Message If You Wish

Patch #15 - Leave A Message If You Wish

Dion dirties Christian’s car, the perfect voicemail message, The Confessional, discussing life’s routines including slee... Read more

21 Nov 2017

39mins

Ranked #12

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Patch #16 - Unfit For Human Habitation

Patch #16 - Unfit For Human Habitation

Dion visits Christian's Italian Grandparents house, Josh attempts to get repairs done in his rental house, we discuss if... Read more

5 Dec 2017

40mins

Ranked #13

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Patch #8 - Dreaming of Chinese Starfish

Patch #8 - Dreaming of Chinese Starfish

Dream analysis, Monotoly, overseas call centres, complaining to companies, Mad Lifts, stealing lemons and Really Good. W... Read more

21 Jun 2017

35mins

Ranked #14

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Patch #5 - Semi Flexitarian

Patch #5 - Semi Flexitarian

A strange goodbye, being unemployed, Christian the Extra, social sports, stealing Josh's hat, boyfriend fashion, food la... Read more

10 May 2017

40mins

Ranked #15

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Patch #30 - Season 2 Retrospective (Part 1)

Patch #30 - Season 2 Retrospective (Part 1)

The Patchwork host cheatsheet, we revisit email signatures and what to do with mail that's not yours. With a special ret... Read more

26 Jun 2018

49mins

Ranked #16

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Patch #28 - Detective Sass

Patch #28 - Detective Sass

Christian and Dion's defining tram ride, Pythagoras pulls the short stick; being distracted on tours, taking photos with... Read more

22 May 2018

39mins

Ranked #17

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Patch #14 - Season 1 Retrospective (Part 2)

Patch #14 - Season 1 Retrospective (Part 2)

Dion's mum reviews Patchwork, revisiting dirty laundry protocol, childhood bedrooms, becoming a man, revisiting bullying... Read more

4 Oct 2017

47mins

Ranked #18

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Patch #43 - Do You Sign The Back Of Your Credit Card?

Patch #43 - Do You Sign The Back Of Your Credit Card?

Christian takes a deep dive into smelling better, decoding washing machines and signing the back of credit cards. Plus F... Read more

12 Mar 2019

35mins

Ranked #19

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Patch #24 - Everybody Eats My Hummus ft. Andy Matthews

Patch #24 - Everybody Eats My Hummus ft. Andy Matthews

This week and we're joined by comedian, writer, "Two In The Think Tank" podcast host and mug recipient Andy Matthews. Fe... Read more

27 Mar 2018

41mins

Ranked #20

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Patch #10 - How To Pickup A 65 Year-Old CEO

Patch #10 - How To Pickup A 65 Year-Old CEO

Christian’s eventful tram ride, Mad Lifts, Dion tries to pick-up a dad, The Rooibos Challenge, A Casual Quest at the Ski... Read more

19 Jul 2017

35mins

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