Weekly Astrology forecast for the week beginning Monday April 24th until Sunday April 30th. I detail each astrological transit and the planetary energies for each day based on traditional western astrology. Book an astrology consultation: https://catroseastrology.com/astrology Get Your FREE Daimon Name Generator: https://catrose.ck.page/e342595715 Get Your FREE Lunar Path Journal: https://catrose.ck.page/2e382f447a Buy me a coffee: https://ko-fi.com/catroseastrology Follow me on Instagram: http://instagram.com/catroseastrology Subscribe to Cat's channel so you can always stay up to date on her latest free videos: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCeqiJ1yNr3178b-VIY2WCmQ?sub_confirmation=1 #TheCreativeIntrovert #CatRose #CatRoseAstrology

Weekly Astrology forecast for the week beginning Monday April 24th until Sunday April 30th. I detail each astrological transit and the planetary energies for each day based on traditional western astrology. Book an astrology consultation: <a href="https://catroseastrology.com/astrology" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://catroseastrology.com/astrology</a> Get Your FREE Daimon Name Generator: https://catrose.ck.page/e342595715 Get Your FREE Lunar Path Journal: https://catrose.ck.page/2e382f447a Buy me a coffee: <a href="https://ko-fi.com/catroseastrology" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://ko-fi.com/catroseastrology</a> Follow me on Instagram: <a href="http://instagram.com/catroseastrology" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">http://instagram.com/catroseastrology</a> Subscribe to Cat's channel so you can always stay up to date on her latest free videos: <a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCeqiJ1yNr3178b-VIY2WCmQ?sub_confirmation=1" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCeqiJ1yNr3178b-VIY2WCmQ?sub_confirmation=1</a> #TheCreativeIntrovert #CatRose #CatRoseAstrology

[WEEKLY FORECAST] A welcome shock to the system

Weekly Astrology forecast for the week beginning Monday April 17th until Sunday April 23rd. I detail each astrological transit and the planetary energies for each day based on traditional western astrology. Book an astrology consultation: https://catroseastrology.com/astrology Get Your FREE Daimon Name Generator: https://catrose.ck.page/e342595715 Get Your FREE Lunar Path Journal: https://catrose.ck.page/2e382f447a Buy me a coffee: https://ko-fi.com/catroseastrology Follow me on Instagram: http://instagram.com/catroseastrology Subscribe to Cat's channel so you can always stay up to date on her latest free videos: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCeqiJ1yNr3178b-VIY2WCmQ?sub_confirmation=1 #TheCreativeIntrovert #CatRose #CatRoseAstrology

Weekly Astrology forecast for the week beginning Monday April 17th until Sunday April 23rd. I detail each astrological transit and the planetary energies for each day based on traditional western astrology. Book an astrology consultation: <a href="https://catroseastrology.com/astrology" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://catroseastrology.com/astrology</a> Get Your FREE Daimon Name Generator: https://catrose.ck.page/e342595715 Get Your FREE Lunar Path Journal: https://catrose.ck.page/2e382f447a Buy me a coffee: <a href="https://ko-fi.com/catroseastrology" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://ko-fi.com/catroseastrology</a> Follow me on Instagram: <a href="http://instagram.com/catroseastrology" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">http://instagram.com/catroseastrology</a> Subscribe to Cat's channel so you can always stay up to date on her latest free videos: <a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCeqiJ1yNr3178b-VIY2WCmQ?sub_confirmation=1" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCeqiJ1yNr3178b-VIY2WCmQ?sub_confirmation=1</a> #TheCreativeIntrovert #CatRose #CatRoseAstrology

[WEEKLY FORECAST] DON’T JUST DO SOMETHING, SIT THERE!

This is a little rerun of last year's Venus in Gemini video, as we enter Venus in Gemini season starting April 11th 2023 until May 7th 2023. Do you have Venus in Gemini? Are you a fan of Venus in Gemini season? Book an astrology consultation at 50% off this April: https://catroseastrology.com/astrology Join my Lunar Path community for monthly events, exclusive classes, books club and much more: https://www.catroseastrology.com/astrology-circle/ Buy me a coffee: https://ko-fi.com/catroseastrology Follow me on Instagram: http://instagram.com/catroseastrology

This is a little rerun of last year's Venus in Gemini video, as we enter Venus in Gemini season starting April 11th 2023 until May 7th 2023. Do you have Venus in Gemini? Are you a fan of Venus in Gemini season? Book an astrology consultation at 50% off this April: <a href="https://catroseastrology.com/astrology" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://catroseastrology.com/astrology</a> Join my Lunar Path community for monthly events, exclusive classes, books club and much more: <a href="https://www.catroseastrology.com/astrology-circle/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.catroseastrology.com/astrology-circle/</a> Buy me a coffee: <a href="https://ko-fi.com/catroseastrology" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://ko-fi.com/catroseastrology</a> Follow me on Instagram: <a href="http://instagram.com/catroseastrology" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">http://instagram.com/catroseastrology</a>

Understanding Venus in Gemini

Weekly Astrology forecast for the week beginning Monday April 10th until Sunday April 16th. I detail each astrological transit and the planetary energies for each day based on traditional western astrology. Book an astrology consultation: https://catroseastrology.com/astrology Get Your FREE Daimon Name Generator: https://catrose.ck.page/e342595715 Get Your FREE Lunar Path Journal: https://catrose.ck.page/2e382f447a Buy me a coffee: https://ko-fi.com/catroseastrology Follow me on Instagram: http://instagram.com/catroseastrology Subscribe to Cat's channel so you can always stay up to date on her latest free videos: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCeqiJ1yNr3178b-VIY2WCmQ?sub_confirmation=1 #TheCreativeIntrovert #CatRose #CatRoseAstrology

Weekly Astrology forecast for the week beginning Monday April 10th until Sunday April 16th. I detail each astrological transit and the planetary energies for each day based on traditional western astrology. Book an astrology consultation: <a href="https://catroseastrology.com/astrology" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://catroseastrology.com/astrology</a> Get Your FREE Daimon Name Generator: https://catrose.ck.page/e342595715 Get Your FREE Lunar Path Journal: https://catrose.ck.page/2e382f447a Buy me a coffee: <a href="https://ko-fi.com/catroseastrology" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://ko-fi.com/catroseastrology</a> Follow me on Instagram: <a href="http://instagram.com/catroseastrology" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">http://instagram.com/catroseastrology</a> Subscribe to Cat's channel so you can always stay up to date on her latest free videos: <a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCeqiJ1yNr3178b-VIY2WCmQ?sub_confirmation=1" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCeqiJ1yNr3178b-VIY2WCmQ?sub_confirmation=1</a> #TheCreativeIntrovert #CatRose #CatRoseAstrology

[WEEKLY FORECAST] It’s all fun and games until someone gets Pluto involved

This is a little re-run of last year's Mercury in Taurus video, as we enter Mercury in Taurus season starting April 3rd 2023 until June 11th 2023. I'll be posting a special video about Mercury's retrograde in the sign of Taurus this week so stay tuned for that! Book an astrology consultation at 50% off this April: https://catroseastrology.com/astrology Join my Lunar Path community for monthly events, exclusive classes, books club and much more: https://www.catroseastrology.com/astrology-circle/ Buy me a coffee: https://ko-fi.com/catroseastrology Follow me on Instagram: http://instagram.com/catroseastrology

This is a little re-run of last year's Mercury in Taurus video, as we enter Mercury in Taurus season starting April 3rd 2023 until June 11th 2023. I'll be posting a special video about Mercury's retrograde in the sign of Taurus this week so stay tuned for that! Book an astrology consultation at 50% off this April: <a href="https://catroseastrology.com/astrology" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://catroseastrology.com/astrology</a> Join my Lunar Path community for monthly events, exclusive classes, books club and much more: <a href="https://www.catroseastrology.com/astrology-circle/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.catroseastrology.com/astrology-circle/</a> Buy me a coffee: <a href="https://ko-fi.com/catroseastrology" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://ko-fi.com/catroseastrology</a> Follow me on Instagram: <a href="http://instagram.com/catroseastrology" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">http://instagram.com/catroseastrology</a>

Understanding Mercury in Taurus

Weekly Astrology forecast for the week beginning Monday April 3rd until Sunday April 9th. I detail each astrological transit and the planetary energies for each day based on traditional western astrology. Book an astrology consultation: https://catroseastrology.com/astrology Get Your FREE Daimon Name Generator: https://catrose.ck.page/e342595715 Get Your FREE Lunar Path Journal: https://catrose.ck.page/2e382f447a Buy me a coffee: https://ko-fi.com/catroseastrology Follow me on Instagram: http://instagram.com/catroseastrology Subscribe to Cat's channel so you can always stay up to date on her latest free videos: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCeqiJ1yNr3178b-VIY2WCmQ?sub_confirmation=1 #TheCreativeIntrovert #CatRose #CatRoseAstrology

Weekly Astrology forecast for the week beginning Monday April 3rd until Sunday April 9th. I detail each astrological transit and the planetary energies for each day based on traditional western astrology. Book an astrology consultation: <a href="https://catroseastrology.com/astrology" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://catroseastrology.com/astrology</a> Get Your FREE Daimon Name Generator: https://catrose.ck.page/e342595715 Get Your FREE Lunar Path Journal: https://catrose.ck.page/2e382f447a Buy me a coffee: <a href="https://ko-fi.com/catroseastrology" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://ko-fi.com/catroseastrology</a> Follow me on Instagram: <a href="http://instagram.com/catroseastrology" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">http://instagram.com/catroseastrology</a> Subscribe to Cat's channel so you can always stay up to date on her latest free videos: <a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCeqiJ1yNr3178b-VIY2WCmQ?sub_confirmation=1" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCeqiJ1yNr3178b-VIY2WCmQ?sub_confirmation=1</a> #TheCreativeIntrovert #CatRose #CatRoseAstrology

[WEEKLY FORECAST] Give it to me straight

For anyone who wants to start syncing their life up with the Moon whether it’s the Moon in the sky or if you menstruate, your inner Moon. Attend my free training, Align Your Business with Your Cycle here: https://catrose.ck.page/align Intro 00:00 Last Quarter to New Moon 1:12 Activities for this phase 03:51 What to avoid in this phase 08:16 My scheduled tasks for this phase 09:52 Book an astrology consultation: https://catroseastrology.com/astrology Join my Astrology Circle for monthly events, exclusive classes, books club and much more: https://www.catroseastrology.com/astrology-circle/ Buy me a coffee: https://ko-fi.com/catroseastrology Follow me on Instagram: http://instagram.com/catroseastrology Subscribe to Cat's channel so you can always stay up to date on her latest free videos: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCeqiJ1yNr3178b-VIY2WCmQ?sub_confirmation=1 #TheCreativeIntrovert #CatRose #CatRoseAstrology

For anyone who wants to start syncing their life up with the Moon whether it’s the Moon in the sky or if you menstruate, your inner Moon. Attend my free training, Align Your Business with Your Cycle here: https://catrose.ck.page/align Intro 00:00 Last Quarter to New Moon 1:12 Activities for this phase 03:51 What to avoid in this phase 08:16 My scheduled tasks for this phase 09:52 Book an astrology consultation: <a href="https://catroseastrology.com/astrology" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://catroseastrology.com/astrology</a> Join my Astrology Circle for monthly events, exclusive classes, books club and much more: <a href="https://www.catroseastrology.com/astrology-circle/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.catroseastrology.com/astrology-circle/</a> Buy me a coffee: <a href="https://ko-fi.com/catroseastrology" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://ko-fi.com/catroseastrology</a> Follow me on Instagram: <a href="http://instagram.com/catroseastrology" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">http://instagram.com/catroseastrology</a> Subscribe to Cat's channel so you can always stay up to date on her latest free videos: <a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCeqiJ1yNr3178b-VIY2WCmQ?sub_confirmation=1" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCeqiJ1yNr3178b-VIY2WCmQ?sub_confirmation=1</a> #TheCreativeIntrovert #CatRose #CatRoseAstrology

Following the Lunar Path Part 4: Last Quarter Moon to New Moon

For anyone who wants to start syncing their life up with the Moon whether it’s the Moon in the sky or if you menstruate, your inner Moon. Attend my free training, Align Your Business with Your Cycle here: https://catrose.ck.page/align Intro 00:00 First Quarter to Full Moon 01:34 Activities for this phase 02:58 What to avoid in this phase 04:47 My scheduled tasks for this phase 06:27 Book an astrology consultation: https://catroseastrology.com/astrology Join my Astrology Circle for monthly events, exclusive classes, books club and much more: https://www.catroseastrology.com/astrology-circle/ Buy me a coffee: https://ko-fi.com/catroseastrology Follow me on Instagram: http://instagram.com/catroseastrology Subscribe to Cat's channel so you can always stay up to date on her latest free videos: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCeqiJ1yNr3178b-VIY2WCmQ?sub_confirmation=1 #TheCreativeIntrovert #CatRose #CatRoseAstrology

For anyone who wants to start syncing their life up with the Moon whether it’s the Moon in the sky or if you menstruate, your inner Moon. Attend my free training, Align Your Business with Your Cycle here: https://catrose.ck.page/align Intro 00:00 First Quarter to Full Moon 01:34 Activities for this phase 02:58 What to avoid in this phase 04:47 My scheduled tasks for this phase 06:27 Book an astrology consultation: <a href="https://catroseastrology.com/astrology" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://catroseastrology.com/astrology</a> Join my Astrology Circle for monthly events, exclusive classes, books club and much more: <a href="https://www.catroseastrology.com/astrology-circle/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.catroseastrology.com/astrology-circle/</a> Buy me a coffee: <a href="https://ko-fi.com/catroseastrology" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://ko-fi.com/catroseastrology</a> Follow me on Instagram: <a href="http://instagram.com/catroseastrology" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">http://instagram.com/catroseastrology</a> Subscribe to Cat's channel so you can always stay up to date on her latest free videos: <a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCeqiJ1yNr3178b-VIY2WCmQ?sub_confirmation=1" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCeqiJ1yNr3178b-VIY2WCmQ?sub_confirmation=1</a> #TheCreativeIntrovert #CatRose #CatRoseAstrology

Following the Lunar Path Part 2:  First Quarter to Full Moon

For anyone who wants to start syncing their life up with the Moon whether it’s the Moon in the sky or if you menstruate, your inner Moon. Attend my free training, Align Your Business with Your Cycle here: https://catrose.ck.page/align Intro 00:00 New Moon to First Quarter 04:20 Activities for this phase 06:35 What to avoid in this phase 08:13 My scheduled tasks for this phase 10:00 Book an astrology consultation: https://catroseastrology.com/astrology Join my Astrology Circle for monthly events, exclusive classes, books club and much more: https://www.catroseastrology.com/astrology-circle/ Buy me a coffee: https://ko-fi.com/catroseastrology Follow me on Instagram: http://instagram.com/catroseastrology Subscribe to Cat's channel so you can always stay up to date on her latest free videos: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCeqiJ1yNr3178b-VIY2WCmQ?sub_confirmation=1 #TheCreativeIntrovert #CatRose #CatRoseAstrology

For anyone who wants to start syncing their life up with the Moon whether it’s the Moon in the sky or if you menstruate, your inner Moon. Attend my free training, Align Your Business with Your Cycle here: https://catrose.ck.page/align Intro 00:00 New Moon to First Quarter 04:20 Activities for this phase 06:35 What to avoid in this phase 08:13 My scheduled tasks for this phase 10:00 Book an astrology consultation: <a href="https://catroseastrology.com/astrology" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://catroseastrology.com/astrology</a> Join my Astrology Circle for monthly events, exclusive classes, books club and much more: <a href="https://www.catroseastrology.com/astrology-circle/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.catroseastrology.com/astrology-circle/</a> Buy me a coffee: <a href="https://ko-fi.com/catroseastrology" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://ko-fi.com/catroseastrology</a> Follow me on Instagram: <a href="http://instagram.com/catroseastrology" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">http://instagram.com/catroseastrology</a> Subscribe to Cat's channel so you can always stay up to date on her latest free videos: <a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCeqiJ1yNr3178b-VIY2WCmQ?sub_confirmation=1" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCeqiJ1yNr3178b-VIY2WCmQ?sub_confirmation=1</a> #TheCreativeIntrovert #CatRose #CatRoseAstrology

Following the Lunar Path Part 1: New Moon to First Quarter

For anyone who wants to start syncing their life up with the Moon whether it’s the Moon in the sky or if you menstruate, your inner Moon. Attend my free training, Align Your Business with Your Cycle here: https://catrose.ck.page/align Intro 00:00 Full Moon to Last Quarter 01:34 Activities for this phase 03:03 What to avoid in this phase 05:44 My scheduled tasks for this phase 07:21 Book an astrology consultation: https://catroseastrology.com/astrology Join my Astrology Circle for monthly events, exclusive classes, books club and much more: https://www.catroseastrology.com/astrology-circle/ Buy me a coffee: https://ko-fi.com/catroseastrology Follow me on Instagram: http://instagram.com/catroseastrology Subscribe to Cat's channel so you can always stay up to date on her latest free videos: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCeqiJ1yNr3178b-VIY2WCmQ?sub_confirmation=1 #TheCreativeIntrovert #CatRose #CatRoseAstrology

For anyone who wants to start syncing their life up with the Moon whether it’s the Moon in the sky or if you menstruate, your inner Moon. Attend my free training, Align Your Business with Your Cycle here: https://catrose.ck.page/align Intro 00:00 Full Moon to Last Quarter 01:34 Activities for this phase 03:03 What to avoid in this phase 05:44 My scheduled tasks for this phase 07:21 Book an astrology consultation: <a href="https://catroseastrology.com/astrology" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://catroseastrology.com/astrology</a> Join my Astrology Circle for monthly events, exclusive classes, books club and much more: <a href="https://www.catroseastrology.com/astrology-circle/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.catroseastrology.com/astrology-circle/</a> Buy me a coffee: <a href="https://ko-fi.com/catroseastrology" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://ko-fi.com/catroseastrology</a> Follow me on Instagram: <a href="http://instagram.com/catroseastrology" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">http://instagram.com/catroseastrology</a> Subscribe to Cat's channel so you can always stay up to date on her latest free videos: <a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCeqiJ1yNr3178b-VIY2WCmQ?sub_confirmation=1" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCeqiJ1yNr3178b-VIY2WCmQ?sub_confirmation=1</a> #TheCreativeIntrovert #CatRose #CatRoseAstrology

Following the Lunar Path Part 3: Full Moon to Last Quarter Moon

The Creative Introvert Podcast is the podcast for creatives, makers, artists and entrepreneurs who prefer to work solo.Cat Rose digs deep into the struggles creative introverts face and provides you with actionable tips every week. Topics tackled include: battling fear, increasing confidence, self-promotion without feeling sleazy, and overcoming procrastination.

I learn something new and feel more and more seen with every episode.

Super Helpful

Just listened for the first time, and I just LOVE Cat! I feel so inspired! Needed this!

Inspiring!

The Creative Introvert Podcast is the podcast for creatives, makers, artists and entrepreneurs who prefer to work solo. Cat Rose digs deep into the struggles creative introverts face and provides you with actionable tips every week. Topics tackled include: battling fear, increasing confidence, self-promotion without feeling sleazy, and overcoming procrastination.

Cat Rose Astrology

Leslie McDaniel

In this week’s episode of  the Creative Introvert podcast I talk to Leslie McDaniel, a certified professional coach who helps INFJ women bring their vision to life. She believes that few things are more powerful than someone at ease with her strengths, gifts, and quirks as she confidently lives out her purpose. With a unique combination of creative skills and experience, Leslie brings a multi-perspective approach to helping others with the accountability and support they need to move forward. Her knowledge as an MBTI®-certified practitioner helps INFJ women understand their personality, celebrate their strengths, and claim their potential. Leslie serves other INFJ women through individual coaching and her weekly email, The INFJ Life.   What we talked about:  How Leslie discovered her own personality type What the Myers Briggs Type Indicator is Misconceptions people have about coaching The Energy Leadership Index (ELI)? Advice for introverts who are considering a career transition but don’t know where to start  Links mentioned   Myers Briggs Is Myers Briggs BS? Energy Leadership Index (ELI) The INFJ Life        Connect with Leslie:  www.lesliemcdaniel.com linkedIn.com/in/lesliemcdaniel youtube.com/lesliemcdaniel facebook.com/TheINFJLife instagram.com/TheINFJLifeYou can leave a rating and review on iTunes (here's how to do that) and I will be as happy as a lamb frolicking in sunshine (or sob into my pillow, depending on what you write.)

In this week’s episode of <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/gb/podcast/creative-introvert-podcast/id1195158914" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> the Creative Introvert podcast</a> I talk to Leslie McDaniel, a certified professional coach who helps INFJ women bring their vision to life. She believes that few things are more powerful than someone at ease with her strengths, gifts, and quirks as she confidently lives out her purpose. With a unique combination of creative skills and experience, Leslie brings a multi-perspective approach to helping others with the accountability and support they need to move forward. Her knowledge as an MBTI®-certified practitioner helps INFJ women understand their personality, celebrate their strengths, and claim their potential. Leslie serves other INFJ women through individual coaching and her weekly email, The INFJ Life.   What we talked about: <ul> <li>How Leslie discovered her own personality type</li> <li>What the Myers Briggs Type Indicator is</li> <li>Misconceptions people have about coaching</li> <li>The Energy Leadership Index (ELI)?</li> <li>Advice for introverts who are considering a career transition but don’t know where to start</li> </ul> Links mentioned <ul> <li><a href="https://www.myersbriggs.org/my-mbti-personality-type/mbti-basics/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> Myers Briggs</a></li> <li><a href="https://www.thecreativeintrovert.com/myers-briggs-bullshit/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Is Myers Briggs BS?</a></li> <li><a href="http://energyleadership.com/the-assessment/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Energy Leadership Index (ELI)</a></li> <li><a href="https://www.lesliemcdaniel.com/sign-up/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">The INFJ Life</a></li> </ul> <a href="https://www.thecreativeintrovert.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/07/Podcast-Guest-Interviews-2.png" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> </a> Connect with Leslie: <a href="http://www.lesliemcdaniel.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.lesliemcdaniel.com</a> <a href="http://linkedin.com/in/lesliemcdaniel" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">linkedIn.com/in/lesliemcdaniel</a> <a href="http://youtube.com/lesliemcdaniel" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">youtube.com/lesliemcdaniel</a> <a href="http://facebook.com/TheINFJLife" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">facebook.com/TheINFJLife</a> <a href="http://instagram.com/TheINFJLife" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">instagram.com/TheINFJLife</a>You can leave a rating and review on iTunes (<a href="https://www.imore.com/how-rate-or-review-podcast-your-iphone-or-ipad" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here's how to do that</a>) and I will be as happy as a lamb frolicking in sunshine (or sob into my pillow, depending on what you write.)

CIP066: Leslie McDaniel on the INFJ Life

Recently back an  episode #44 we talked about the importance of accountability - as in, having someone to keep you in check, offering their support and encouragement when you have something you want to do - but are struggling to do it. Now, I'd like to add one more piece to the puzzle, and that is... collaboration. Much like accountability, this was something I assumed I didn't need or want. For one, I'm an introvert! I do things by myself, I work best alone and other people - god love 'em - drain me. But. when I reflected on the past year I realised that the #1 thing which had brought me the most success had been... Yes, collaboration. Which naturally took me by surprise. l hated when we had to work in groups at school, I was not a team sports fan. I also remember once at uni when we had to work on a project in pairs. The dude I was paired up with was a total slacker. And because I resented carrying all the weight, I slacked too. In fact, I was pulled aside by our head of department who was concerned about my sh*tty performance. It wasn't until we got to do the solo part of the project that I turned things around and excelled because I was in my element again: working solo. But there is something to be said for collaboration: in fact, I attribute 99% of my success in 2017 to this very thing. Hopefully, by the end of this episode you'll be willing to give it a try too.   Links mentioned:  Why Introverts Don't Ask The Email Answer

Recently back an <a href="http://www.thecreativeintrovert.com/goal-getting-for-introverts-part-2/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> episode #44</a> we talked about the importance of accountability - as in, having someone to keep you in check, offering their support and encouragement when you have something you want to do - but are struggling to do it. Now, I'd like to add one more piece to the puzzle, and that is... collaboration. Much like accountability, this was something I assumed I didn't need or want. For one, I'm an introvert! I do things by myself, I work best alone and other people - god love 'em - drain me. But. when I reflected on the past year I realised that the #1 thing which had brought me the most success had been... Yes, collaboration. Which naturally took me by surprise. l hated when we had to work in groups at school, I was not a team sports fan. I also remember once at uni when we had to work on a project in pairs. The dude I was paired up with was a total slacker. And because I resented carrying all the weight, I slacked too. In fact, I was pulled aside by our head of department who was concerned about my sh*tty performance. It wasn't until we got to do the solo part of the project that I turned things around and excelled because I was in my element again: working solo. But there is something to be said for collaboration: in fact, I attribute 99% of my success in 2017 to this very thing. Hopefully, by the end of this episode you'll be willing to give it a try too.   Links mentioned: <a href="http://www.thecreativeintrovert.com/introverts-struggle-ask-help/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> Why Introverts Don't Ask</a> <a href="http://www.thecreativeintrovert.com/email-answer-join" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">The Email Answer</a>

CIP046: How Do I Collaborate... I'm an INTROVERT!?

Joe Moran

Show notes &gt;&gt; https://wp.me/p5bc9S-2hW   In this week’s episode of  the Creative Introvert podcast I talk to Joe Moran, historian of the everyday, about his book on shyness, ‘Shrinking Violets.’   What we discussed:  The difference between shyness and introversion How shyness is more common than you might think The value of silence Why small talk is actually a very thoughtful thing to do Whether or not we blush for a reason The difference between shame and embarrassment How shyness is seen differently over the world Would art exist without the shy? Why shyness is like lower back pain The Personality Positivity Movement  Links: Shrinking Violets by Joe Moran Other books by Joe The Stanford Shyness Test Quiet by Susan Cain Joe's Blog    Connect with Joe: Twitter Website Amazon author page

Show notes &gt;&gt; <a href="https://wp.me/p5bc9S-2hW" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://wp.me/p5bc9S-2hW</a> In this week’s episode of <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/gb/podcast/creative-introvert-podcast/id1195158914" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> the Creative Introvert podcast</a> I talk to Joe Moran, historian of the everyday, about his book on shyness, ‘Shrinking Violets.’   What we discussed: <ul> <li>The difference between shyness and introversion</li> <li>How shyness is more common than you might think</li> <li>The value of silence</li> <li>Why small talk is actually a very thoughtful thing to do</li> <li>Whether or not we blush for a reason</li> <li>The difference between shame and embarrassment</li> <li>How shyness is seen differently over the world</li> <li>Would art exist without the shy?</li> <li>Why shyness is like lower back pain</li> <li>The Personality Positivity Movement</li> </ul> Links: <a href="http://amzn.to/2Fm5wGz" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Shrinking Violets</a> by Joe Moran <a href="http://amzn.to/2I9Sr5i" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Other books by Joe</a> <a href="http://www.shyness.com/the-hendersonzimbardo-shyness-questionnaire/" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank">The Stanford Shyness Test</a> <a href="http://amzn.to/2FfcQIm" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Quiet</a> by Susan Cain <a href="https://joemoran.net/other-writings/" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank">Joe's Blog</a>   Connect with Joe: <a href="https://twitter.com/joemoransblog" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank">Twitter</a> <a href="https://joemoran.net/" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank">Website</a> <a href="http://amzn.to/2I9Sr5i" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Amazon author page</a>

CIP051: Joe Moran on Shyness

Full show notes here: https://wp.me/p5bc9S-2p8   You might have heard/read the adage ‘What gets measured gets managed.’ It’s the idea that we can’t change or improve something unless we’re keeping track of it. The simple act of paying attention to something will cause you to make connections you never did before, and you'll improve the those areas - almost miraculously, without any extra effort. And it doesn’t mean only things with numbers can be measured: there are ways of turning more qualitative, subjective aspects of life into a measurable format. This approach to personal development or creative business progress isn’t going to appeal to every introvert, I know. For ISTJs and ISTJs this approach might come naturally - but for other types like INFPs there might be some resistance to this more left-brain tracking habit. But bare with me! This tracking business is seriously powerful - and it can be fun, if you decide to make it so.    In  today's podcast, I'll be sharing the simple step that you can start taking today to make progress in any creative pursuit or life goal.

Full show notes here: <a href="https://wp.me/p5bc9S-2p8" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://wp.me/p5bc9S-2p8</a> You might have heard/read the adage ‘What gets measured gets managed.’ It’s the idea that we can’t change or improve something unless we’re keeping track of it. The simple act of paying attention to something will cause you to make connections you never did before, and you'll improve the those areas - almost miraculously, without any extra effort. And it doesn’t mean only things with numbers can be measured: there are ways of turning more qualitative, subjective aspects of life into a measurable format. This approach to personal development or creative business progress isn’t going to appeal to every introvert, I know. For ISTJs and ISTJs this approach might come naturally - but for other types like INFPs there might be some resistance to this more left-brain tracking habit. But bare with me! This tracking business is seriously powerful - and it can be fun, if you decide to make it so.   In <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/gb/podcast/creative-introvert-podcast/id1195158914" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> today's podcast</a>, I'll be sharing the simple step that you can start taking today to make progress in any creative pursuit or life goal.

CIP061: The Five Minute Daily Habit That Builds Creative Momentum

Have you ever been asked what your superpower would be, if you were a superhero? I always struggled to pick between being able to fly and being invisible. Typically introverted answers: picking the two superpowers that would let me escape extroverted situations… More than being a fun game to play when you’re six, this is a great question to ask yourself throughout life. Your superpowers don’t have to be extraordinary or win you any awards, let alone save the world… they are simply the abilities you have that come easier to you than most, and that energise you more than most. Individually, they may not strike you as special at all – in fact, until you hear this podcast episode, you might not be aware of them at all – but when you do identify them and start to harness them more, you start to see evidence of your true capabilities. Stop focussing on your kryptonite! Introverts tend to be especially critical of themselves, because of our tendency to focus inward so much. Unsurprisingly, treating yourself too critically can easily reduce your self esteem. Low self esteem makes life a lot more challenging. In short: you want to bolster your self esteem, not tear it down. It does serve us to be critical when it comes to honing our skills; being able to accurately assess where you’re at is one of the core ingredients to getting to where you want to go. But there will be nothing to assess and improve at without first acknowledging what your superpowers are. Not sure what your Superpowers are yet? That’s OK: here are some ideas to get the ball rolling, based on what we know about the nature of introverts.   1. You’re probably considerate of others This is particularly helpful when it comes to communication with others. It means an introvert doesn’t give too much away and can be more deliberate and diplomatic in their speech. It also makes us less quick to make judgements – which, when done without much thought, can land an extrovert in hot water. However, overthinking can lead to unnecessary anxiety. Anxiety about speaking your mind can mean you appear closed off and distant to others and hinder real connection forming, which is vital for trust and forming long-lasting relationships.   2. You’re probably a deep-thinker What they say has gone through a natural mental filter, which tests how accurate, important and appropriate something is. This means that a 1-to-1 conversation can be very rich and full of depth, leading to more meaningful friendships. The downside to this is that it takes a while for our thoughts to mature and develop to a state where we’re ready to let them out into the world. This is definitely a drawback in heated, fast-paced debates. It also means on the whole we’re averse to small talk - again, not the best at dinner parties or networking events.   3. You’re probably quite focussed You can pay attention to those you are speaking to. Which is great if you’re speaking to one person, but even at a larger scale this can be picked up. For example a lecture in a theatre will often be able to notice if there’s someone paying true attention to them: and this will mean a lot to them. The problem is for introverts who in turn, also need to focus quite intensely in order to get a good understanding of something. This is particularly true for highly sensitive introverts who struggle to maintain focus in an overstimulating environment.   4. You’re probably very attentive As a result of our focus, introverts also make for great at paying attention to others, making for great listeners. There is a difference between passive listening: which usually looks like someone who is purely being quiet out of politeness, and is really just waiting for their conversational partner to finish speaking. Active listening however looks like someone who has all there attention focussed on you, and who is getting ready not to just speak their own opinions or to steer the conversation in their own self serving direction, but to dig deeper into the last thing you said. The downside is introverts can also pay too much attention to what others are thinking about themselves: which can cause stress and anxiety when doing something that exposes you to the public.   5. You’re probably independent Compared to extroverts, who very much rely on the responses and feedback of others, introverts are less concerned with their outside world. This is particularly true for the more left-brain, analytical introverts (usually ISTJs, INTJs, ISTPs, INTPs - check out  Marti Olsen Laney for more on left-brain introversion.) This gives introverts greater ability to be selfless: to create from a place that is not driven by vanity or muddied by the opinions of others.   6. You’re probably empathic They have the ability to tune into their communication partners and this is done through intuitive strength rather than using any sleazy influence tactics. Mirror neurones are a real thing: and both introverts and extroverts have them but could it be that introverts, particularly  highly sensitive people, are more able to tune into them? Empathy is a great skill, whether it comes naturally to you or you learn to develop it. It means people are quicker to trust you and feel less threatened by you.     Now we've talked about the generic introvert superpowers, let’s talk about your unique Superpowers - the ones that set you apart from the next creative introvert. You might have some or even all of the introvert superpowers, this isn’t where your Superpowers end. You have your own unique Superpowers, that distinguish you from the next creative introvert and that will make you the one fit for your life purpose. Not sure what your unique Superpowers are? That’s understandable. One of the mistakes people make when identifying their Superpowers is that they immediately think of their abilities in areas that society tends to deem the most important. You might think of your academic history… and how difficult you found maths. You might think of sporting achievements… and remember you were always picked last for teams. You might think of your workplace history… and remember how you always got passed by for promotions. In focussing on the big, obvious (and actually very insignificant) roles society has suggested you play, you end up missing the Superpowers you do have in other areas. It can help to think about something that doesn’t feel emotionally loaded. For example, baking cakes with your mother when you were a child - or baking cakes with your children now.   What about you shines in these moments?   Are you endlessly patient?   Are you meticulously precise?   Are you a natural in the kitchen and rarely have to follow a recipe?   It’s these little moments that bring us joy, boost our energy and feel so easy to us that point to our actual Superpowers.      ACTION STEPS:   1) Have a Superpower brainstorm by jotting ideas down from the following questions: • What are you really good at? • What comes naturally for you? • What activities make you feel energised? • What quality do you bring to an activity? • What do you get asked for help with by others?   2) Put your Superpowers to use It’s one thing to have a nice list of things you can keep in your wallet when you need a pick-me-up (which I do recommend) but it’s another to actually put these to use as much as possible in your daily life. Now you have your list (you can also add the typical introvert Superpowers too if they resonated with you) start to list real life ways you can use these Superpowers. For example, if one of my Superpowers is being attentive, I know I can bring this to occasions when I meet new people. These aren’t usually the most introvert-friendly events, but if I know I have my Superpower in my back pocket, I have more reassurance that I can use this to my advantage. Think about how these Superpowers can help you through day-to-day life as well as the more challenging occasions we might face. Try following the sentence structure below to work through each Superpower: I can use the Superpower of __ when I ___ Go one step further and think of an event or upcoming project where you can really put your Superpower/s to use. Make a point of using this as your intention in going into that event/project (often a much better way of setting goals than focussing purely on the end result.)

Have you ever been asked what your superpower would be, if you were a superhero? I always struggled to pick between being able to fly and being invisible. Typically introverted answers: picking the two superpowers that would let me escape extroverted situations… More than being a fun game to play when you’re six, this is a great question to ask yourself throughout life. Your superpowers don’t have to be extraordinary or win you any awards, let alone save the world… they are simply the abilities you have that come easier to you than most, and that energise you more than most. Individually, they may not strike you as special at all – in fact, until you hear this podcast episode, you might not be aware of them at all – but when you do identify them and start to harness them more, you start to see evidence of your true capabilities. Stop focussing on your kryptonite! Introverts tend to be especially critical of themselves, because of our tendency to focus inward so much. Unsurprisingly, treating yourself too critically can easily reduce your self esteem. Low self esteem makes life a lot more challenging. In short: you want to bolster your self esteem, not tear it down. It does serve us to be critical when it comes to honing our skills; being able to accurately assess where you’re at is one of the core ingredients to getting to where you want to go. But there will be nothing to assess and improve at without first acknowledging what your superpowers are. Not sure what your Superpowers are yet? That’s OK: here are some ideas to get the ball rolling, based on what we know about the nature of introverts.   1. You’re probably considerate of others This is particularly helpful when it comes to communication with others. It means an introvert doesn’t give too much away and can be more deliberate and diplomatic in their speech. It also makes us less quick to make judgements – which, when done without much thought, can land an extrovert in hot water. However, overthinking can lead to unnecessary anxiety. Anxiety about speaking your mind can mean you appear closed off and distant to others and hinder real connection forming, which is vital for trust and forming long-lasting relationships.   2. You’re probably a deep-thinker What they say has gone through a natural mental filter, which tests how accurate, important and appropriate something is. This means that a 1-to-1 conversation can be very rich and full of depth, leading to more meaningful friendships. The downside to this is that it takes a while for our thoughts to mature and develop to a state where we’re ready to let them out into the world. This is definitely a drawback in heated, fast-paced debates. It also means on the whole we’re averse to small talk - again, not the best at dinner parties or networking events.   3. You’re probably quite focussed You can pay attention to those you are speaking to. Which is great if you’re speaking to one person, but even at a larger scale this can be picked up. For example a lecture in a theatre will often be able to notice if there’s someone paying true attention to them: and this will mean a lot to them. The problem is for introverts who in turn, also need to focus quite intensely in order to get a good understanding of something. This is particularly true for highly sensitive introverts who struggle to maintain focus in an overstimulating environment.   4. You’re probably very attentive As a result of our focus, introverts also make for great at paying attention to others, making for great listeners. There is a difference between passive listening: which usually looks like someone who is purely being quiet out of politeness, and is really just waiting for their conversational partner to finish speaking. Active listening however looks like someone who has all there attention focussed on you, and who is getting ready not to just speak their own opinions or to steer the conversation in their own self serving direction, but to dig deeper into the last thing you said. The downside is introverts can also pay too much attention to what others are thinking about themselves: which can cause stress and anxiety when doing something that exposes you to the public.   5. You’re probably independent Compared to extroverts, who very much rely on the responses and feedback of others, introverts are less concerned with their outside world. This is particularly true for the more left-brain, analytical introverts (usually ISTJs, INTJs, ISTPs, INTPs - check out <a href="https://introvertdear.com/news/introverts-and-extroverts-brains-really-are-different-according-to-science/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> Marti Olsen Laney</a> for more on left-brain introversion.) This gives introverts greater ability to be selfless: to create from a place that is not driven by vanity or muddied by the opinions of others.   6. You’re probably empathic They have the ability to tune into their communication partners and this is done through intuitive strength rather than using any sleazy influence tactics. Mirror neurones are a real thing: and both introverts and extroverts have them but could it be that introverts, particularly <a href="https://www.thecreativeintrovert.com/cip059-caroline-van-kimmenade-on-sensitivity-as-a-superpower/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> highly sensitive people</a>, are more able to tune into them? Empathy is a great skill, whether it comes naturally to you or you learn to develop it. It means people are quicker to trust you and feel less threatened by you. Now we've talked about the generic introvert superpowers, let’s talk about your unique Superpowers - the ones that set you apart from the next creative introvert. You might have some or even all of the introvert superpowers, this isn’t where your Superpowers end. You have your own unique Superpowers, that distinguish you from the next creative introvert and that will make you the one fit for your life purpose. Not sure what your unique Superpowers are? That’s understandable. One of the mistakes people make when identifying their Superpowers is that they immediately think of their abilities in areas that society tends to deem the most important. You might think of your academic history… and how difficult you found maths. You might think of sporting achievements… and remember you were always picked last for teams. You might think of your workplace history… and remember how you always got passed by for promotions. In focussing on the big, obvious (and actually very insignificant) roles society has suggested you play, you end up missing the Superpowers you do have in other areas. It can help to think about something that doesn’t feel emotionally loaded. For example, baking cakes with your mother when you were a child - or baking cakes with your children now. <ul> <li> What about you shines in these moments? </li> <li> Are you endlessly patient? </li> <li> Are you meticulously precise? </li> <li> Are you a natural in the kitchen and rarely have to follow a recipe? </li> </ul> It’s these little moments that bring us joy, boost our energy and feel so easy to us that point to our actual Superpowers.     ACTION STEPS: 1) Have a Superpower brainstorm by jotting ideas down from the following questions: • What are you really good at? • What comes naturally for you? • What activities make you feel energised? • What quality do you bring to an activity? • What do you get asked for help with by others? 2) Put your Superpowers to use It’s one thing to have a nice list of things you can keep in your wallet when you need a pick-me-up (which I do recommend) but it’s another to actually put these to use as much as possible in your daily life. Now you have your list (you can also add the typical introvert Superpowers too if they resonated with you) start to list real life ways you can use these Superpowers. For example, if one of my Superpowers is being attentive, I know I can bring this to occasions when I meet new people. These aren’t usually the most introvert-friendly events, but if I know I have my Superpower in my back pocket, I have more reassurance that I can use this to my advantage. Think about how these Superpowers can help you through day-to-day life as well as the more challenging occasions we might face. Try following the sentence structure below to work through each Superpower: I can use the Superpower of __ when I ___ Go one step further and think of an event or upcoming project where you can really put your Superpower/s to use. Make a point of using this as your intention in going into that event/project (often a much better way of setting goals than focussing purely on the end result.)

CIP071: How Creative Introverts Can Use Their Innate Superpowers to Build a Business and Life They Love

Sarah Santacroce

In this week’s episode of the Creative Introvert podcast I talk to my good friend and fellow introvert in business, Sarah Santacroce.   We talk about introvert retreats, masterminds, why it is introverts find it so hard to ask for help and I talk about the bridging process and making things a habit as a way to conquer anything that scares you.   On that note it was this call with Sarah that actually prompted my to take on a 30 day challenge to make a FB live video every day!   So as I record this intro I’m halfway through the challenge and so far so good - the LEague of Creative Introverts have been subjected to seeing my mug pop up every week day for the last fortnight in the private Facebook group.   Honestly? I’m kind of almost enjoying it now, now that I’ve made it a habit.           You can find the shownotes to this episode at thecreativeintrovert.com/024   Also just wanted to let you know I’ve made a 6-week step-by-step guide to basically jumpstart or reboot your social media promo efforts. This is specifically for creative introverts and it is specifically for people who want someone to tell them exactly what to do every day, every week on social media. They don’t want the theory they don’t want principles - they want a step-by-step guide and they want measurable results.   Ok so currently this is only going to be going out to members of the League of Creative Introverts, which is my private community - members get access to an online library of resources which I add to every month. And for the next 6 weeks beginning the 3rd July 2017 I will be rolling out this 6 week social media plan in real time.   So what does this mean for you if you aren’t in the League? Well I thought I might reopen it for one week starting today (so from the 19th to the 26th of June 2017)    My aim isn’t to ram as many people as I can inside the LCI - because I do spend a lot of 1-1 time helping individuals and literally cannot cope if it grows too big - hence why it’s usually closed. But for this week, I’m opening doors because I really feel like this is a super valuable resource IF you do it. By going through it in real time with Leaguers I figure we have the best chance in encouraging those who will actually do the stuff and therefore will get some real results.   I’m not just making this shit for fun - I really do want to see creative introverts get their art out there - whatever it is, whatever you sell or do - I want stuff to start working for you. This is the plan for anyone who wants that too.   So. You want it? Then just follow the sign up form on thecreativeintrovert.com/lci you can join for as little as $19 and you will have access to the 6-week social media plan as soon as we start at the beginning of July.

In this week’s episode of the Creative Introvert podcast I talk to my good friend and fellow introvert in business, Sarah Santacroce.   We talk about introvert retreats, masterminds, why it is introverts find it so hard to ask for help and I talk about the bridging process and making things a habit as a way to conquer anything that scares you.   On that note it was this call with Sarah that actually prompted my to take on a 30 day challenge to make a FB live video every day!   So as I record this intro I’m halfway through the challenge and so far so good - the LEague of Creative Introverts have been subjected to seeing my mug pop up every week day for the last fortnight in the private Facebook group.   Honestly? I’m kind of almost enjoying it now, now that I’ve made it a habit.          You can find the shownotes to this episode at <a href="http://thecreativeintrovert.com/024" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">thecreativeintrovert.com/024</a>   Also just wanted to let you know I’ve made a 6-week step-by-step guide to basically jumpstart or reboot your social media promo efforts. This is specifically for creative introverts and it is specifically for people who want someone to tell them exactly what to do every day, every week on social media. They don’t want the theory they don’t want principles - they want a step-by-step guide and they want measurable results.   Ok so currently this is only going to be going out to members of the League of Creative Introverts, which is my private community - members get access to an online library of resources which I add to every month. And for the next 6 weeks beginning the 3rd July 2017 I will be rolling out this 6 week social media plan in real time.   So what does this mean for you if you aren’t in the League? Well I thought I might reopen it for one week starting today (so from the 19th to the 26th of June 2017)    My aim isn’t to ram as many people as I can inside the LCI - because I do spend a lot of 1-1 time helping individuals and literally cannot cope if it grows too big - hence why it’s usually closed. But for this week, I’m opening doors because I really feel like this is a super valuable resource IF you do it. By going through it in real time with Leaguers I figure we have the best chance in encouraging those who will actually do the stuff and therefore will get some real results.   I’m not just making this shit for fun - I really do want to see creative introverts get their art out there - whatever it is, whatever you sell or do - I want stuff to start working for you. This is the plan for anyone who wants that too.   So. You want it? Then just follow the sign up form on <a href="http://thecreativeintrovert.com/lci" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">thecreativeintrovert.com/lci</a> you can join for as little as $19 and you will have access to the 6-week social media plan as soon as we start at the beginning of July.

CIP024: Sarah Santacroce on Creating a Business As An Introvert

In this episode of  The Creative Introvert podcast I explain my brainwave idea for setting kinesthetic goals. Before you jump to the conclusion that this is yet another attempt to drill in the overused acronym about setting SMART goals: I promise it’s not that. And maybe I’m not the only person who has approached goal setting in this way, but it’s new to me and even in the short time I’ve been dabbling with it; it has made a huge difference in how I act and feel on a daily basis, so I’m really excited to share it with you.   Ok so the way I’m going to lay this out for you is by first explaining the problem with traditional goals and goal setting, I’ll explain a bit about why certain strategies work for some not for others (spoiler alert: you aren’t unmotivated or lazy necessarily) and finally we’ll wrap up with my step-by-step kinesthetic goal setting approach. Here's what I cover:  What the problem is with traditional goal setting Why SMART goals didn't work for me Why it isn't lack of motivation that stops us achieving what we want How our motivation varies between tasks How to set goals that align with our core values What the heck I mean by 'kinesthetic' goal setting 4 GOYA* Action Steps  *GOYA: Get Off Your Arse

In this episode of <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/gb/podcast/creative-introvert-podcast/id1195158914" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> The Creative Introvert podcast</a> I explain my brainwave idea for setting kinesthetic goals. Before you jump to the conclusion that this is yet another attempt to drill in the overused acronym about setting SMART goals: I promise it’s not that. And maybe I’m not the only person who has approached goal setting in this way, but it’s new to me and even in the short time I’ve been dabbling with it; it has made a huge difference in how I act and feel on a daily basis, so I’m really excited to share it with you.   Ok so the way I’m going to lay this out for you is by first explaining the problem with traditional goals and goal setting, I’ll explain a bit about why certain strategies work for some not for others (spoiler alert: you aren’t unmotivated or lazy necessarily) and finally we’ll wrap up with my step-by-step kinesthetic goal setting approach. Here's what I cover: <ul> <li>What the problem is with traditional goal setting</li> <li>Why SMART goals didn't work for me</li> <li>Why it isn't lack of motivation that stops us achieving what we want</li> <li>How our motivation varies between tasks</li> <li>How to set goals that align with our core values</li> <li>What the heck I mean by 'kinesthetic' goal setting</li> <li>4 GOYA* Action Steps</li> </ul> *GOYA: Get Off Your Arse

CIP 004: How to Set Kinesthetic Goals (For Multipassionates and Overachievers)

This is something that’s taken me quite a few years and many, many chats with various creative introverts to discover: not all tips to be productive work for me or you or anyone for that matter. Yeah, I know. Mind = blown. Maybe you already knew that. But maybe you didn’t and you were like me, wondering why the fuck the advice of this hyper-productive guru just didn’t work when you tried to apply it in your own life. The truth is, we’re not all identical beings. Nor are we totally unique either. We’re this annoyingly intricate, yet beautifully nuanced jumble of similarities and differences. Which… makes giving advice on things like productivity and getting stuff done… rather tricky. And I’ll be the first to admit I’ve tried to do this. I’ve tried to speak to you, and thousands of other Creative Introverts over the years, and tried to cover all cases, but I’m always going to fall short. I’m always going to miss the edge cases, the rebels, the square pegs, and that irritates the heck out of me. The truth is: only YOU know you. Yes, someone else can be very helpful, maybe even necessary, for shining a light on parts of ourselves we didn’t know were there, but it’s really up to us to see what’s being illuminated, accept it, and learn from it. Then we can take action that fits us like a snug glove. That’s what today’s podcast is all about. I’m going to guide you through three different tools you can use to figure out what productivity tips to ignore and which will actually work for you. https://youtu.be/l6kjbEZdHcw Links mentioned: The Four Tendencies 16 Personalities The ONE Thing by Gary Keller The War of Art by Steven Pressfield  Find Your ONE Thing How Do You Get Things Done?   POWERED BY PATREON This podcast is made possible only by means of my generous supporters on Patreon. Thank you! Supporting the Creative Introvert podcast also gets you lots of goodies, from a Monthly Ask Me Anything to a copy of my new BOOK, The Creative Introvert: How to Build a Business You Love on Your Terms. Hitting milestones also funds future projects, and ideas guided by you, my supporters. BECOME A SUPPORTER  How to Find Your Why  Procrastination Astrology Readings from Cat

This is something that’s taken me quite a few years and many, many chats with various creative introverts to discover: not all tips to be productive work for me or you or anyone for that matter. Yeah, I know. Mind = blown. Maybe you already knew that. But maybe you didn’t and you were like me, wondering why the fuck the advice of this hyper-productive guru just didn’t work when you tried to apply it in your own life. The truth is, we’re not all identical beings. Nor are we totally unique either. We’re this annoyingly intricate, yet beautifully nuanced jumble of similarities and differences. Which… makes giving advice on things like productivity and getting stuff done… rather tricky. And I’ll be the first to admit I’ve tried to do this. I’ve tried to speak to you, and thousands of other Creative Introverts over the years, and tried to cover all cases, but I’m always going to fall short. I’m always going to miss the edge cases, the rebels, the square pegs, and that irritates the heck out of me. The truth is: only YOU know you. Yes, someone else can be very helpful, maybe even necessary, for shining a light on parts of ourselves we didn’t know were there, but it’s really up to us to see what’s being illuminated, accept it, and learn from it. Then we can take action that fits us like a snug glove. That’s what today’s podcast is all about. I’m going to guide you through three different tools you can use to figure out what productivity tips to ignore and which will actually work for you. <a href="https://youtu.be/l6kjbEZdHcw" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://youtu.be/l6kjbEZdHcw</a> Links mentioned: <a href="https://www.thecreativeintrovert.com/sk08/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">The Four Tendencies</a> <a href="https://www.16personalities.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">16 Personalities</a> <a href="https://amzn.to/2suSQf6" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">The ONE Thing by Gary Keller</a> <a href="https://amzn.to/2YRHBJM" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">The War of Art by Steven Pressfield</a> <a href="https://www.thecreativeintrovert.com/cip086-how-to-bridge-the-gap-between-you-and-your-goals/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> Find Your ONE Thing</a> <a href="https://www.thecreativeintrovert.com/sk08/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">How Do You Get Things Done?</a>   POWERED BY PATREON This podcast is made possible only by means of my generous supporters <a href="https://www.patreon.com/creativeintro" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">on Patreon</a>. Thank you! Supporting the Creative Introvert podcast also gets you lots of goodies, from a Monthly Ask Me Anything to a copy of my new BOOK, <a href="https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1731392788" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">The Creative Introvert: How to Build a Business You Love on Your Terms. </a>Hitting milestones also funds future projects, and ideas guided by you, my supporters. <a href="https://www.patreon.com/creativeintro" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" target="_blank">BECOME A SUPPORTER</a> <a href="https://www.thecreativeintrovert.com/cip056-finding-meaning-and-purpose/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> How to Find Your Why</a> <a href="https://www.thecreativeintrovert.com/cip065-worry-distraction-procrastination-oh-my/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> Procrastination</a> <a href="https://www.thecreativeintrovert.com/astrology/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Astrology Readings from Cat</a>

Why Those Productivity Tips Don’t Work For You

I’ve been wondering for a while now, whether this podcast and all the work I do as the Creative Introvert, is in the intention of self-improvement OR self-acceptance.    Because, I’m a fan of both - I love experimenting with ways to level up, grow or become a better version of myself… but I also know the value of settling into who I am, and maybe even loving that creature.   The problem I come up against is… which is it? Can You have both? How?   How can I love who I am right now, as I am - and also want to change or grow in some way?   Maybe you’ve run into this same dilemma. Maybe you’ve flitted between the two. On the first of January, you’ve been all about the self-improvement. Come the 15th of Jan, you’re all about self love and self care.   You might scroll through Instagram seeing messages advocating self-acceptance, love at any size, shape, colour, ability… and in the next moment, you encounter someone living their best life, in impossible luxury, with absurdly ripped abs and looking far too happy with their fiancee.    It’a a bit of a mindfuck if you ask me.   Are we destined to pendulum between the two? Or do we have to pick a side?   I’m going to be thinking out loud as I tackle those questions today, and hopefully by the end of this podcast, we will have worked out a way to find a balance between self-acceptance, and self-improvement.   The case for self-improvement   A realisation I had long before I picked up - and chuckled at - my first book on self-improvement is that if you are complaining about something you have to options: either stop complaining and accept the situation, OR CHANGE IT.    For whatever reason, the latter appealed to me much more, in most cases. Feeling a sense of autonomy over a situation, and having something to create or enhance - not to mention the satisfaction that went along with knowing I’ve made a positive change in my life or others - well, that’s a really addictive pursuit.   If I’m feeling down in the dumps, or snappy or if I start getting sick, I take a look around. What have I been doing recently? Or not doing? What actions, or lack of, have led me to this less-than place?   If I was only to accept the way things are, things could not improve - that stopped happening after I stopped being entirely dependent on my parents to wipe my bum or feed me or whatever else.   We have a responsibility: our lives. We don’t have the right to complain if we haven’t even attempted to improve our situation. So with the example of me being in a crummy mood, I might notice I haven’t meditated in a week. Or I haven’t left the house all day or spoken to a loved one recently. I might try to change one of those variables, and see how I go.   That’s all self-improvement is. Paying attention to your state of being, to your actions, and adjusting accordingly. It doesn’t need to be a palaver.   But I’ll admit, it’s not always easy. And it has it’s problems…   The problem with self-improvement   What if you were to tell a child, over and over again, that no matter what they did - they were utter failures? That they were incapable, stupid, clumsy and overweight? Pointing out only their weaknesses, and never telling them how naturally wonderful they are?   I cringe to think about it, but I’m sure you can imagine this kiddo is going to give up on themselves pretty fast. Without positive encouragement, knowledge of their strengths and - ideally - unconditional love regardless of what they do - they have no incentive to grow, let alone get out of bed in the morning.   The problem with self-improvement without self-acceptance is that it’s quite easy to spiral into despair. If you’re treating yourself like that poor child, berating yourself for every misstep or misplaced hair - you end up with no motivation to improve. If you can’t please you, why bother?   The self-improvement world is wonderful when we’re on the up… when we’re checking all the boxes, waking up before our alarm, hitting the gym… but when we fuck up? When life happens? When we listen to our intuition that tells us: mate, you need some rest… how do we treat ourselves then?   Another problem with constantly striving for new heights, is that we often fail to recognise how far we’ve come. We never let ourselves stop and soak up the thing we’ve been striving for… we just keep on chasing. And whilst I do believe on some esoteric level we’re here to experience the new and to evolve… it seems a bit of a wasted life if we never get to look around at the view from each and every peak.   I remember when I was in Japan, climbing up some god-awful mountain on Miyajima island, just off the coast of Hiroshima, I was told that there would be this amazing view of the ‘floating Tori gate’ - an illusion that gets created when the tide is in and you look down from the mountain to see this epic red gate.   So I ploughed ahead, never looking back, just focussed on my destination which I believed was the top of this mountain, to see this epic view.   And when I got to the top, I was met with utter disappointment. The views were nice, yes - but I’d MISSED the view I wanted, which was further down the mountain. A view I might have seen IF I’d taken the time to stop and look around.   D’oh!   This also works for a handy analogy to this self-improvement stuff: remember to look around on your way.     The case for self-acceptance   Let’s start by defining self-acceptance, which I’ve come to see as fully embracing who you are in the present moment.   Acceptance is not only for the perfect parts of us - if indeed we can spot those - because perfection is irrelevant. Who are we to judge what’s perfect anyway? We’re lousy judges. What is perfect one day, can be pitted with flaws the next.   What I love most about self-acceptance, is that it’s honest. It takes stock of who we are, what we are and where we are. It isn’t looking to the right or the left, above or below - it isn’t playing the comparison game with our neighbour, colleague or friend.   In self-acceptance, we can find an honesty. It asks us to look inwards, and get really honest before making any judgement calls. We don’t have to fight against our flaws, or pretend we’re something we are not: we can literally accept ourselves as we are. We can be ok with ourselves, no matter what.    And that is a powerful place to be in.    The problem with self-acceptance   The biggest problem I see with self-acceptance is that some people confuse it with waking up one day and just loving every little thing about ourselves, every crack and every flaw. You might have been sold this possibility, and maybe shelled out money for products that make you think it’s possible.   Unfortunately, as nice as that would be - it’s really fucking unlikely. Drugs help, and I’m sure some enlightened beings do feel that kind of ecstatic self-love 24-7… but to maintain that level of self-love is quite unrealistic for the vast majority of us.    On the flipside, self-acceptance can lead us to stagnation. If we pull the blanket over ourselves and disregard the world falling down around us, sooner or later, the house is going to cave in on us. Not good.   Danger lurks when we get complacent. If you’ve ever ignored a rotting piece of food at the back of your fridge, you’ll know what lurks one day when you come to face it. Self-acceptance does not mean pretending everything is fine and dandy, when it ain’t.       So…We’ve looked at both sides of the coin now… My conclusion? we need both, in the right doses. Taken to an extreme, neither self-acceptance nor self-Improvement are going to help us live the best, most satisfying lives we can.   In that case, what can we take from either side to create one, well-rounded practise? Maybe we could call it… Self-Acceptprov?   It seems that we need self-acceptance to take stock of our situation, and determine what we want to accept and what we want to change. From there, we can get our self-improvement caps on and get to work. Regardless of the outcome, we always have self-acceptance to rely on. It’s a warm base to come back to. Knowledge that we’re always going. to be works in progress, and that’s ok. Because the progress IS the fun bit. As long as we stop to take a look around, see how far we’ve come - we get to enjoy all of that. Warts and all.   How to balance Self-Acceptance and Self-Improvement   Lets end with a few tips to round this up:     Get clear on where you’re at. Acknowledge what’s working, what you wouldn’t change for the world.  Now think of what parts of your world do you want to improve? What in your life could be better?  Next, get clear on what you’re willing to sacrifice for that change. It’s useful to think of this in terms of time, because that will likely be a factor in most improvements we want to make. Some sacrifices aren’t worth our desired outcome. Sure, I know that when I eat cheese, I get rewarded with a nice big pimple on my chin, approximately 24 hours later. Do I sacrifice cheese? Most days, yes. But occasionally, no. The parmesan is worth the pimple. Whatever you decide to change, make sure you take it in incremental steps. Too big a change, and you might run out of steam. And eat ALL THE CHEESE. But incremental changes, coupled with patience from accepting where you are at each step, really add up over time. Finally, remember to set reminders to yourself to stop, take a look around and acknowledge how far you’ve come. Accepting where you’re at, maybe even loving where you’re at. Maybe.     We all have growth spurts and fallow periods in our self-improvement journey. What doesn’t have to change is our acceptance of the here and now, and our knowing that we can create meaningful change.    I’ll end with a quote from the Dalai Lama:    “We can never obtain peace in the outer world until we make peace with ourselves.”

I’ve been wondering for a while now, whether this podcast and all the work I do as the Creative Introvert, is in the intention of self-improvement OR self-acceptance.    Because, I’m a fan of both - I love experimenting with ways to level up, grow or become a better version of myself… but I also know the value of settling into who I am, and maybe even loving that creature.   The problem I come up against is… which is it? Can You have both? How?   How can I love who I am right now, as I am - and also want to change or grow in some way?   Maybe you’ve run into this same dilemma. Maybe you’ve flitted between the two. On the first of January, you’ve been all about the self-improvement. Come the 15th of Jan, you’re all about self love and self care.   You might scroll through Instagram seeing messages advocating self-acceptance, love at any size, shape, colour, ability… and in the next moment, you encounter someone living their best life, in impossible luxury, with absurdly ripped abs and looking far too happy with their fiancee.    It’a a bit of a mindfuck if you ask me.   Are we destined to pendulum between the two? Or do we have to pick a side?   I’m going to be thinking out loud as I tackle those questions today, and hopefully by the end of this podcast, we will have worked out a way to find a balance between self-acceptance, and self-improvement.   The case for self-improvement   A realisation I had long before I picked up - and chuckled at - my first book on self-improvement is that if you are complaining about something you have to options: either stop complaining and accept the situation, OR CHANGE IT.    For whatever reason, the latter appealed to me much more, in most cases. Feeling a sense of autonomy over a situation, and having something to create or enhance - not to mention the satisfaction that went along with knowing I’ve made a positive change in my life or others - well, that’s a really addictive pursuit.   If I’m feeling down in the dumps, or snappy or if I start getting sick, I take a look around. What have I been doing recently? Or not doing? What actions, or lack of, have led me to this less-than place?   If I was only to accept the way things are, things could not improve - that stopped happening after I stopped being entirely dependent on my parents to wipe my bum or feed me or whatever else.   We have a responsibility: our lives. We don’t have the right to complain if we haven’t even attempted to improve our situation. So with the example of me being in a crummy mood, I might notice I haven’t meditated in a week. Or I haven’t left the house all day or spoken to a loved one recently. I might try to change one of those variables, and see how I go.   That’s all self-improvement is. Paying attention to your state of being, to your actions, and adjusting accordingly. It doesn’t need to be a palaver.   But I’ll admit, it’s not always easy. And it has it’s problems…   The problem with self-improvement   What if you were to tell a child, over and over again, that no matter what they did - they were utter failures? That they were incapable, stupid, clumsy and overweight? Pointing out only their weaknesses, and never telling them how naturally wonderful they are?   I cringe to think about it, but I’m sure you can imagine this kiddo is going to give up on themselves pretty fast. Without positive encouragement, knowledge of their strengths and - ideally - unconditional love regardless of what they do - they have no incentive to grow, let alone get out of bed in the morning.   The problem with self-improvement without self-acceptance is that it’s quite easy to spiral into despair. If you’re treating yourself like that poor child, berating yourself for every misstep or misplaced hair - you end up with no motivation to improve. If you can’t please you, why bother?   The self-improvement world is wonderful when we’re on the up… when we’re checking all the boxes, waking up before our alarm, hitting the gym… but when we fuck up? When life happens? When we listen to our intuition that tells us: mate, you need some rest… how do we treat ourselves then?   Another problem with constantly striving for new heights, is that we often fail to recognise how far we’ve come. We never let ourselves stop and soak up the thing we’ve been striving for… we just keep on chasing. And whilst I do believe on some esoteric level we’re here to experience the new and to evolve… it seems a bit of a wasted life if we never get to look around at the view from each and every peak.   I remember when I was in Japan, climbing up some god-awful mountain on Miyajima island, just off the coast of Hiroshima, I was told that there would be this amazing view of the ‘floating Tori gate’ - an illusion that gets created when the tide is in and you look down from the mountain to see this epic red gate.   So I ploughed ahead, never looking back, just focussed on my destination which I believed was the top of this mountain, to see this epic view.   And when I got to the top, I was met with utter disappointment. The views were nice, yes - but I’d MISSED the view I wanted, which was further down the mountain. A view I might have seen IF I’d taken the time to stop and look around.   D’oh!   This also works for a handy analogy to this self-improvement stuff: remember to look around on your way.     The case for self-acceptance   Let’s start by defining self-acceptance, which I’ve come to see as fully embracing who you are in the present moment.   Acceptance is not only for the perfect parts of us - if indeed we can spot those - because perfection is irrelevant. Who are we to judge what’s perfect anyway? We’re lousy judges. What is perfect one day, can be pitted with flaws the next.   What I love most about self-acceptance, is that it’s honest. It takes stock of who we are, what we are and where we are. It isn’t looking to the right or the left, above or below - it isn’t playing the comparison game with our neighbour, colleague or friend.   In self-acceptance, we can find an honesty. It asks us to look inwards, and get really honest before making any judgement calls. We don’t have to fight against our flaws, or pretend we’re something we are not: we can literally accept ourselves as we are. We can be ok with ourselves, no matter what.    And that is a powerful place to be in.    The problem with self-acceptance   The biggest problem I see with self-acceptance is that some people confuse it with waking up one day and just loving every little thing about ourselves, every crack and every flaw. You might have been sold this possibility, and maybe shelled out money for products that make you think it’s possible.   Unfortunately, as nice as that would be - it’s really fucking unlikely. Drugs help, and I’m sure some enlightened beings do feel that kind of ecstatic self-love 24-7… but to maintain that level of self-love is quite unrealistic for the vast majority of us.    On the flipside, self-acceptance can lead us to stagnation. If we pull the blanket over ourselves and disregard the world falling down around us, sooner or later, the house is going to cave in on us. Not good.   Danger lurks when we get complacent. If you’ve ever ignored a rotting piece of food at the back of your fridge, you’ll know what lurks one day when you come to face it. Self-acceptance does not mean pretending everything is fine and dandy, when it ain’t.       So…We’ve looked at both sides of the coin now… My conclusion? we need both, in the right doses. Taken to an extreme, neither self-acceptance nor self-Improvement are going to help us live the best, most satisfying lives we can.   In that case, what can we take from either side to create one, well-rounded practise? Maybe we could call it… Self-Acceptprov?   It seems that we need self-acceptance to take stock of our situation, and determine what we want to accept and what we want to change. From there, we can get our self-improvement caps on and get to work. Regardless of the outcome, we always have self-acceptance to rely on. It’s a warm base to come back to. Knowledge that we’re always going. to be works in progress, and that’s ok. Because the progress IS the fun bit. As long as we stop to take a look around, see how far we’ve come - we get to enjoy all of that. Warts and all.   How to balance Self-Acceptance and Self-Improvement   Lets end with a few tips to round this up:   <ol> <li>Get clear on where you’re at. Acknowledge what’s working, what you wouldn’t change for the world. </li> <li>Now think of what parts of your world do you want to improve? What in your life could be better? </li> <li>Next, get clear on what you’re willing to sacrifice for that change. It’s useful to think of this in terms of time, because that will likely be a factor in most improvements we want to make. Some sacrifices aren’t worth our desired outcome. Sure, I know that when I eat cheese, I get rewarded with a nice big pimple on my chin, approximately 24 hours later. Do I sacrifice cheese? Most days, yes. But occasionally, no. The parmesan is worth the pimple.</li> <li>Whatever you decide to change, make sure you take it in incremental steps. Too big a change, and you might run out of steam. And eat ALL THE CHEESE. But incremental changes, coupled with patience from accepting where you are at each step, really add up over time.</li> <li>Finally, remember to set reminders to yourself to stop, take a look around and acknowledge how far you’ve come. Accepting where you’re at, maybe even loving where you’re at. Maybe. </li> </ol>   We all have growth spurts and fallow periods in our self-improvement journey. What doesn’t have to change is our acceptance of the here and now, and our knowing that we can create meaningful change.   I’ll end with a quote from the Dalai Lama:    “We can never obtain peace in the outer world until we make peace with ourselves.”

CIP079: Finding Balance Between Self-Acceptance and Self-Improvement

One of the many joys of being an introvert is having access to a world of ideas, musings and dreams that live inside our infinitely imaginative minds.   Whilst some day dreams are pleasant and constructive - for example the numerous studies that show the usefulness of envisioning things for top athletes.   In one study an exercise psychologist from the Cleveland Clinic Foundation compared people who went to the gym with people who just carried out virtual workouts in their heads. Whilst there was an expected 30% muscle increase in the group who went to the gym, the crazy part is that the group who did only the mental exercises of the weight training ALSO increased muscle strength by 13.5% - nearly half the amount for arguably a lot less effort.   However, that’s focussed thought. Most of the time our minds are not focussed - they wander around getting into all sorts of trouble. The part of the brain called the DMN - the default mode network - is responsible for this.   Some choice neighbourhoods the DMN likes to wander to are: - unpaid bills - arguments - shopping lists - future plans - and - a favourite of mine - what I want to eat for lunch.   Anyway, for introverts in particular, a tendency to overanalyse, get lost in the recesses of memory and wander too far into the uncertain future is all the more… a pain in the arse.   Being fully present in what we’re doing, who we’re with and how we’re feeling - is key to boosting happiness and all round contentedness.   I’ll admit - I’m recording this episode a wee bit selfishly.   Honestly, it’s something I’ve been really trying to focus on - ha the irony - to focus on for the last few months and while I’m definitely getting better at quietening the monkey mind I know it’s a long process.   Oh and I should underline that I have no intention of changing my brain wiring entirely - I LOVE my daydreams and really believe in daydreaming for creative idea generation - but I would like to be able to drop into the present moment and appreciate the here and the now to it’s fullest.   So if you want to do the same, this episode is for you and I’d love to share the 10 things I’ve been practising to switch from overthinking, overanalysing and overfretting into a much more peaceful, contented introvert.   Links mentioned:  The value of daydreaming  A wandering mind is an unhappy mind Gretchen Rubin Worry Time Insight Timer Breathing techniques patreon.com/creativeintro

One of the many joys of being an introvert is having access to a world of ideas, musings and dreams that live inside our infinitely imaginative minds.   Whilst some day dreams are pleasant and constructive - for example the numerous studies that show the usefulness of envisioning things for top athletes.   In one study an exercise psychologist from the Cleveland Clinic Foundation compared people who went to the gym with people who just carried out virtual workouts in their heads. Whilst there was an expected 30% muscle increase in the group who went to the gym, the crazy part is that the group who did only the mental exercises of the weight training ALSO increased muscle strength by 13.5% - nearly half the amount for arguably a lot less effort.   However, that’s focussed thought. Most of the time our minds are not focussed - they wander around getting into all sorts of trouble. The part of the brain called the DMN - the default mode network - is responsible for this.   Some choice neighbourhoods the DMN likes to wander to are: - unpaid bills - arguments - shopping lists - future plans - and - a favourite of mine - what I want to eat for lunch.   Anyway, for introverts in particular, a tendency to overanalyse, get lost in the recesses of memory and wander too far into the uncertain future is all the more… a pain in the arse.   Being fully present in what we’re doing, who we’re with and how we’re feeling - is key to boosting happiness and all round contentedness.   I’ll admit - I’m recording this episode a wee bit selfishly.   Honestly, it’s something I’ve been really trying to focus on - ha the irony - to focus on for the last few months and while I’m definitely getting better at quietening the monkey mind I know it’s a long process.   Oh and I should underline that I have no intention of changing my brain wiring entirely - I LOVE my daydreams and really believe in daydreaming for creative idea generation - but I would like to be able to drop into the present moment and appreciate the here and the now to it’s fullest.   So if you want to do the same, this episode is for you and I’d love to share the 10 things I’ve been practising to switch from overthinking, overanalysing and overfretting into a much more peaceful, contented introvert.   Links mentioned: <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/flourish/200912/seeing-is-believing-the-power-visualization" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> The value of daydreaming</a> <a href="http://news.harvard.edu/gazette/story/2010/11/wandering-mind-not-a-happy-mind/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> A wandering mind is an unhappy mind</a> <a href="http://gretchenrubin.com/happiness_project/2016/03/podcast-56/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Gretchen Rubin Worry Time</a> <a href="https://insighttimer.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Insight Timer</a> <a href="https://www.3ho.org/files/pdfs/alternate-nostril-breathing.pdf" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Breathing techniques</a> <a href="http://patreon.com/creativeintro" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">patreon.com/creativeintro</a>

CIP021: How to Get Out of Your Head and Into your Body

What is a multipassionate? Let’s start with getting clear on what a multipassionate actually is. Other words to describe this phenomenon: Multipotentialite, Polymath, Renaissance Man (or Woman or whatever you identify as), Scanner, or the more derogatory Jack of All Trades, Master of None. Emilie Wapnik is my hero in this field, so I’m going to use her most excellent definition which applies to all of these terms: "A multipotentialite is a person who has many different interests and creative pursuits in life. Multipotentialites have no “one true calling” the way specialists do. Being a multipotentialite is our destiny. We have many paths and we pursue all of them, either sequentially or simultaneously (or both).”  My story I am a hardcore multipotentialite - or multipassionate - whatever you want to call it - I’ve always been into a LOT of things. As a kid, after I decided I wanted to be a Coca Cola Van Driver, a Ballerina, and an Archeologist (I loved dinosaurs and was heavily influenced by Jurassic Park) I finally settled on Artist. But even then, when I had my #1 passion, I was always dabbling in other interests. Instead of having a collection of stamps or rocks, I had a collection of COLLECTIONS. Yep. This included plastic baggies - the kind you find buttons or drugs in - keyrings, stickers, erasers, used credit cards… May be I was just into hoarding junk. But being INTO multiple things has followed me to this day. If you don’t know, I don’t just do the Creative Introvert. I’ve been designing websites since I graduated uni nearly a decade ago, I help clients with marketing strategy, I have another podcast (the Seeker and the Skeptic, in case you’re interested), I have an Etsy shop for my mandala art, I am learning to become a yoga teacher for crying out loud. Yeah. I have a few interests. I always caveat this with the fact I have no children, hence the time thing. But in any case, no matter what my number 1 focus is, I always have a few other things on the go - just to keep myself entertained.   How to know if you’re one It’s becoming more and more common. Us millennials are increasingly switching jobs - the median tenure for workers age 25 to 34 is 3.2 years. Laptop lifestyles are also becoming more common than they were 10 years ago - with more and more ways to make a living online than ever before. If you consider yourself creative, it’s quite likely you also fit the bill of multipassionate too. Are you a multipassionate? * You’re always coming up with new ideas, whether it’s in the shower, taking a walk, drifting off to sleep * You keep a notebook at hand at all times to capture the latest greatest idea * You feel pretty low and mopey when you aren’t buzzing with new ideas - something must be off * You feel like there’ll never be enough time to get round to all your ideas - which can be annoying * You sometimes struggle to finish the ideas you start * Or you struggle to get ideas off the ground because - whoosh! There comes another idea right around the corner Quiz: http://www.renaissancesouls.com/renaissancesoul/quiz.htm As you can see, there are some highs and some lows when it comes to being a multipassionate.   #Multipassionate problems One of the lows you might have experienced is, Multipassionate Guilt. It’s the guilt that comes when we’re reminded by some book or podcast that tells us that ALL successful people must focus on ONE thing and ONE THING ONLY! That we must put 10,000 hours into our ONE THING in order to be acceptable humans. Can’t we put one hour into 10,000 things and still live a good life?? Then there’s Multipassionate Shame. Juggling multiple careers or hobbies or ideas can lead you to feel like you still don’t have things figured out. It makes the classic networking question “So, what do you do?” a nightmare. If you’re a teacher but also a freelance copywriter who dabbles in social media consulting on nights and weekends, what do you do, really? How do you wrap up your complex personal brand into a 30-second elevator pitch? Oh and Multipassionate insomnia. This comes from having 20 different projects on the go or floating around in your head can feel plain overwhelming. Try sleeping at night when you’re juggling that. We can’t forget Multipassionate Despair. This is the frustration that comes with feeling the urge to burn everything you’ve built down to the ground, just to have a clean slate and start again… is quite stressful. But the worst, in my experience, is… Multipassionate Boredom. It’s feeling like whatever awesome - or previously awesome - stuff you had going on is now about as interesting as a pair of old socks. It’s like gum that you’ve chewed all the flavour out of. We’re left waiting for that next idea to come to us, something - anything - to help us feel that spark of enthusiasm again.  Why it’s actually an advantage Before we get too down on our multipassionate luck, I want to shine a light on the - many - advantages of being interested in so many things. 1. It makes for a pretty impressive resume. Having a mixture of subject matter on your resume gives you much more to talk about than your competitors applying for the same role. In an increasingly competitive job market, bringing diverse skills to the table is only a good thing. 2. You have a plan B… and C… 3. You’re more interesting. You know those people at a dinner party or networking event that have the most fascinating stories or seem to know a lot about a huge range of topics? Following your weird and wonderful interests only makes you a more interesting person to talk to. Plus, it means you can move beyond that bloody small talk much faster.

What is a multipassionate? Let’s start with getting clear on what a multipassionate actually is. Other words to describe this phenomenon: Multipotentialite, Polymath, Renaissance Man (or Woman or whatever you identify as), Scanner, or the more derogatory Jack of All Trades, Master of None. Emilie Wapnik is my hero in this field, so I’m going to use her most excellent definition which applies to all of these terms: "A multipotentialite is a person who has many different interests and creative pursuits in life. Multipotentialites have no “one true calling” the way specialists do. Being a multipotentialite is our destiny. We have many paths and we pursue all of them, either sequentially or simultaneously (or both).” My story I am a hardcore multipotentialite - or multipassionate - whatever you want to call it - I’ve always been into a LOT of things. As a kid, after I decided I wanted to be a Coca Cola Van Driver, a Ballerina, and an Archeologist (I loved dinosaurs and was heavily influenced by Jurassic Park) I finally settled on Artist. But even then, when I had my #1 passion, I was always dabbling in other interests. Instead of having a collection of stamps or rocks, I had a collection of COLLECTIONS. Yep. This included plastic baggies - the kind you find buttons or drugs in - keyrings, stickers, erasers, used credit cards… May be I was just into hoarding junk. But being INTO multiple things has followed me to this day. If you don’t know, I don’t just do the Creative Introvert. I’ve been designing websites since I graduated uni nearly a decade ago, I help clients with marketing strategy, I have another podcast (the Seeker and the Skeptic, in case you’re interested), I have an Etsy shop for my mandala art, I am learning to become a yoga teacher for crying out loud. Yeah. I have a few interests. I always caveat this with the fact I have no children, hence the time thing. But in any case, no matter what my number 1 focus is, I always have a few other things on the go - just to keep myself entertained.   How to know if you’re one It’s becoming more and more common. Us millennials are increasingly switching jobs - the median tenure for workers age 25 to 34 is 3.2 years. Laptop lifestyles are also becoming more common than they were 10 years ago - with more and more ways to make a living online than ever before. If you consider yourself creative, it’s quite likely you also fit the bill of multipassionate too. Are you a multipassionate? * You’re always coming up with new ideas, whether it’s in the shower, taking a walk, drifting off to sleep * You keep a notebook at hand at all times to capture the latest greatest idea * You feel pretty low and mopey when you aren’t buzzing with new ideas - something must be off * You feel like there’ll never be enough time to get round to all your ideas - which can be annoying * You sometimes struggle to finish the ideas you start * Or you struggle to get ideas off the ground because - whoosh! There comes another idea right around the corner Quiz: <a href="http://www.renaissancesouls.com/renaissancesoul/quiz.htm" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">http://www.renaissancesouls.com/renaissancesoul/quiz.htm</a> As you can see, there are some highs and some lows when it comes to being a multipassionate.   #Multipassionate problems One of the lows you might have experienced is, Multipassionate Guilt. It’s the guilt that comes when we’re reminded by some book or podcast that tells us that ALL successful people must focus on ONE thing and ONE THING ONLY! That we must put 10,000 hours into our ONE THING in order to be acceptable humans. Can’t we put one hour into 10,000 things and still live a good life?? Then there’s Multipassionate Shame. Juggling multiple careers or hobbies or ideas can lead you to feel like you still don’t have things figured out. It makes the classic networking question “So, what do you do?” a nightmare. If you’re a teacher but also a freelance copywriter who dabbles in social media consulting on nights and weekends, what do you do, really? How do you wrap up your complex personal brand into a 30-second elevator pitch? Oh and Multipassionate insomnia. This comes from having 20 different projects on the go or floating around in your head can feel plain overwhelming. Try sleeping at night when you’re juggling that. We can’t forget Multipassionate Despair. This is the frustration that comes with feeling the urge to burn everything you’ve built down to the ground, just to have a clean slate and start again… is quite stressful. But the worst, in my experience, is… Multipassionate Boredom. It’s feeling like whatever awesome - or previously awesome - stuff you had going on is now about as interesting as a pair of old socks. It’s like gum that you’ve chewed all the flavour out of. We’re left waiting for that next idea to come to us, something - anything - to help us feel that spark of enthusiasm again. Why it’s actually an advantage Before we get too down on our multipassionate luck, I want to shine a light on the - many - advantages of being interested in so many things. 1. It makes for a pretty impressive resume. Having a mixture of subject matter on your resume gives you much more to talk about than your competitors applying for the same role. In an increasingly competitive job market, bringing diverse skills to the table is only a good thing. 2. You have a plan B… and C… 3. You’re more interesting. You know those people at a dinner party or networking event that have the most fascinating stories or seem to know a lot about a huge range of topics? Following your weird and wonderful interests only makes you a more interesting person to talk to. Plus, it means you can move beyond that bloody small talk much faster.

CIP077: How To Handle Being a Multipassionate Creative

Last week I introduced this series which is all about the Enneagram: a system for describing nine personality types. Like I said, I see this as just one more way of learning about yourself, and it’s a fun tool to geek out on. Today we’re going to be looking at three of the nine types, which all fall under the Feeling triad. The two, also known as the helper, the three, also known as the Achiever and the Four, also known as the Romantic. When these three types are at their best, they’re in touch with their feelings, their emotions, they’re compassionate and considerate of others - they’re basically the nurturing ones we need in our life. But when they’re at their worst, they can get out of touch with their feelings, suppressing them in order to conform or be liked by others, rejecting their own identity in the belief that they’ll be more lovable if they act in another way: creating a false self image.      Links mentioned: The Myers Briggs Typology Personality Types by Don Richard Riso The Enneagram Made Easy by Renee Baron and Elizabeth Wagele The Enneagram Test Patreon rewards

Last week I introduced this series which is all about the Enneagram: a system for describing nine personality types. Like I said, I see this as just one more way of learning about yourself, and it’s a fun tool to geek out on. Today we’re going to be looking at three of the nine types, which all fall under the Feeling triad. The two, also known as the helper, the three, also known as the Achiever and the Four, also known as the Romantic. When these three types are at their best, they’re in touch with their feelings, their emotions, they’re compassionate and considerate of others - they’re basically the nurturing ones we need in our life. But when they’re at their worst, they can get out of touch with their feelings, suppressing them in order to conform or be liked by others, rejecting their own identity in the belief that they’ll be more lovable if they act in another way: creating a false self image.   Links mentioned: <a href="http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/jtypes2.asp" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">The Myers Briggs Typology</a> <a href="http://amzn.to/2HzZbrN" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Personality Types</a> by Don Richard Riso <a href="http://amzn.to/2DIcOaf" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">The Enneagram Made Easy</a> by Renee Baron and Elizabeth Wagele <a href="https://www.eclecticenergies.com/enneagram/test" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">The Enneagram Test</a> <a href="https://www.patreon.com/creativeintro" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Patreon rewards</a>

EN02: The Feeling Triad

What the heck is confidence, really? Your confidence is made up of three areas: 1) Self esteem This is our judgement of how valuable we are, and how comfortable we feel being our self. So you can imagine low self-esteem statements are things like ‘I’m not good enough’ or ‘I don’t deserve this awesome thing’ and you can also see it when people reject compliments or self-sabotage. 2) Competence Sometimes referred to as self efficacy, this is how capable we feel at performing tasks, solving problems and achieving goals. So low competence might exhibit itself as imposter syndrome - so not feeling capable of the task at hand, feeling like you need MORE training or MORE knowledge or MORE skills. It’s different from low self esteem in that with competence you’re focussing on the skills or knowledge required, which are of course learnable - whereas with self-esteem, the feeling is deeper - more to do with your inherent worth as a human being. 3) Belonging This relates to how well we feel accepted by others. This is more outward focussed, more to do with how others perceive us and how we ‘fit’ into society, our community or even a small group like you might find in a workshop or classroom.  It’s quite common that someone who is low in one of these areas tends to be low in the others, but it’s also possible to have low self-esteem but have high competence and/or a sense of belonging. For example, as a ‘recovering perfectionist’ myself, and having spoken to many others this combination can pop up frequently. Perfectionists may be overly-critical and negative about their personal traits (low self-esteem) and yet see themselves as quite capable in certain areas (high competence). A perfectionist architect might consider themselves competent at technical drawing, but feel unattractive and uncharismatic as a person. It’s easy for this to happen, because we might get encouraged in a measurable, outward-facing skill early in our lives, so we continue to excel at that because of the encouragement and validation we’re given. But, we might not have been given or might not recognise all the positive reinforcement from the less-measurable, less-tangible qualities we have. Unconditional love is just love for the sake of love, not for performing at a certain task - is something we all need, and that’s what boosts self-esteem. The problem is, even if we have it, whether it’s from a parent, grandparent, lover or friend - it’s harder to spot. Someone with high self-esteem can show up fully in projects and engage with people because they aren’t crippled with fear of failure or rejection. Of course they still get hurt and disappointed when things don’t go to plan, but their setbacks don’t diminish their sense of self. They are resilient, open to new experiences and relationships, have a higher tolerance to risk, and are accepting and forgiving of themselves and others. If we hear encouraging words from those key care givers early on, whether it’s encouragement in certain tasks (competence) or in words of unconditional love (self esteem) then we can develop a strong sense of belonging. This is the only element in the triad of confidence that I can’t see being cultivated from within. This really is dependent on those around us. Which is a bummer if you’re a highly independent introvert. On the upside, I’ve seen a STRONG correlation between raising competence and self esteem (even if that’s generated from within) and a rise in belonging. Why? How? Well, the more competent and sure of themselves a person is (er, to an extent) the more likely others are to approve of them. That’s how our monkey minds work. It’s hilarious really, when you think of some of the ‘guru’ figures out there. Whether it’s a rock star or some spiritual leader, they tend to have an abundance of self-confidence, and that alone attracts people. Even if those guru characters are full of hot air in reality. I’ve been trying to analyse what it is that draws me to certain thought leaders, and repels me to others. Regardless of their personality type or their talents, I have to admit they all have an air of confidence about them. However, this also comes with a limit. Someone who is overly confident and doesn’t back it up with skills (so high self-esteem without the competence in an area I can measure or observe) I’m repelled. The thing is, this is all relative. My judgement of someone’s competence says more about my tastes and values than it does about that person. And naturally, someone could look at my work and deem me incompetent, and therefore see any self-esteem I show as unwarranted, and therefore they won’t approve of me. Therefore, I don’t get rewarded by that sense of belonging from them - they’re effectively saying: I don’t want you in my tribe, thank you very much.  For this reason, my theory is that consciously or unconsciously, many of us more thoughtful, introspective souls try to purposely lower our self esteem in order to match the lowest possible opinion someone might have about our work - our competence. If I take my sporting ability - which is unquestionably my greatest weakness in terms of outwardly observable skills, it’s safe to say I have low competence in this area. But if I use this as a measuring stick to assess my self-esteem, I end up with low competence AND low self-esteem. So when someone from another tribe sees me, they’ll likely judge me as a bit lame and insecure, and probably won’t give me much approval and acceptance. So, I don’t get my sense of belonging either. Let me elaborate: if you tie your competence with your self-esteem, you’re in for a lot of trouble. You could end up like a guru or a narcissist, full of hot air because they’ve overinflated their self-esteem, and it’s NOT backed up by their competence. OR you risk lowering yourself to one of the few things you’re not so good at - we all have them. Either way, you’re going to alienate others, and that sense of belonging goes unfulfilled. So what’s the solution? What’s the right balance? How do you boost confidence using this funky little triad of opinions and beliefs? Well, for starters know that your self esteem is NOT dependent on your competence. I repeat: it doesn’t matter a dam how good you are at drawing ponies or how crap you are at maths. Each and every one of us is 110% deserving of unconditional love. And you can tell from that percentage how bad I am at maths. The good news is you DON’T have to depend on others for this esteem. The bad news is: it sure does help. Of course it helps to have someone tell you they love you unconditionally. However, if you go through life depending on others for that, you’re likely to run into some real obstacles along the way. Finally, your sense of belonging is not set either. It isn’t dependent on how much your parents loved you or how many or how few friends you had at school. The bad news for us introverts is that to find a sense of belonging, we need to put ourselves out there a bit. We need to give others a chance to see who we are, what we’re about and form their opinions of us. And that is fucking scary. Of course it’s scary to risk disapproval. It’s the same fear that our ancestors faced when they were trying to please other tribe members, or risk being kicked out and thrown to the wilderness. But unlike what our ancestors faced, this is not a life or death thing. Twitter can make it feel that way, but really really: it just doesn’t matter if someone doesn’t ‘get’ you. Or that someone doesn’t see your competence, or that they’re jealous of your competence and want to tear you down to build their own fragile self-esteem (this doesn’t work by the way, not in the long run.) Now I think we’re clear on what confidence is made up of - self esteem, competence and belonging, and we’re clear on what the elements of this triad are dependent on and what they’re not dependent on - I’m going to round this up with some things you might want to try that will give you a little boost in all these areas, without faking anything or using the dark arts to boost your confidence. Your confidence will be built on strong, stable and sincere foundations. From there, over time, your confidence will grow up big and strong and carry you through just about anything you do. How to Boost Your Self-esteem 1. Mindfulness I know it’s not the most original recommendation in history, but my LAWD is it powerful. The truth is, we can’t change something if we don’t recognise what we can change. By simply becoming aware of our negative self-talk, we begin to distance ourselves from the feelings it brings up. The practise of mindfulness lets us recognise these thoughts and feelings, but more importantly, lets us DISTANCE ourselves from them. Without this awareness, we can easily fall into the trap of believing our self-limiting talk, and our self esteem stays down in the dumps. “Don’t believe everything you think. Thoughts are just that — thoughts.” ~ Allan Lokos I really recommend the Waking Up app, from Sam Harris. I find it non-cheesy, non-preachy, and suitable for the secular-minded. There are some really powerful though experiments there too, so be prepared to have your brain changed (for the better.) 2. Exercise I told you sport is not my forté, but even I can’t deny the benefits of moving the old body. I’ve managed to find ways of exercising I do, for the most part enjoy, like yoga, walking and… well, that’s it. But even if these were a pain in the arse (and some days they are) I can’t deny how much better I feel about myself when I exercise. I’ve left the days of using exercise to change how I look on the outside, and use it as a tool to feel better on the inside. And I don’t think it’s a placebo - many studies show a correlation between exercise and higher self-esteem, as well as improved overall mental health. It’s empowering to know you’ve done something good for yourself, and over time those little wins add up. Plus, the physical benefits like lower heart rate, higher happy hormones and better sleep, all help the self-esteem journey. You can’t simultaneously feel like crap when your body is telling you otherwise. 3. Share the love David Simonsen, Ph.D., LMFT, says: “What I find is that the more someone does something in their life that they can be proud of, the easier it is for them to recognise their worth. Doing things that one can respect about themselves is the one key that I have found that works to raise one’s worth. It is something tangible. Helping at a homeless shelter, animal shelter, giving of time at a big brother or sister organisation. These are things that mean something and give value to not only oneself, but to someone else as well.” And it doesn’t mean your contribution has to be time consuming or expensive. Something i love to do is send random emails to people - authors, artists, podcasters - who have made some impact in my life, even if it’s mini, and I thank them. Weirdly, by boosting someone else's self-esteem, mine seems to receive an equal or maybe even greater boost.   How to Boost Your Competence 1. Assess yourself As I mentioned earlier, you can’t change anything if you don’t know what you can change. Taking a kind of competence inventory is the first step towards this self-knowledge. This means making a list of the skills you have, as well as the skills you want to develop. It’s worth noting that for each skill you want to improve on, note why you want that skill. There might be some skills you don’t have but have no real reason to improve them. So don’t! I have no ambitions to become the worlds first record-breaking 5’3” ginger powerlifter, so I’ll let that one go. I go through a process for spotting your Superpowers in the Masterclass for this month, Create with Confidence. 2. Make a mastery plan Next, you can start to create your plan to improve on the skills you identified. If you’re feeling a little low in your competence at photographing your work, so you can post really gorgeous product shots on your Etsy store or Instagram, then google “product photography course.” I just dod a google search on that - and there are plenty! OK so once you have some resources, decide how much time you’ll dedicate to that skill. An hour a day or a couple of hours a week? Or just a workshop next month? These are all little commitments you can make that will not only boost your competence - they’ll boost your self-esteem too because sticking to the promises we make with ourselves, is like rocket fuel for self-esteem. 3. Track your progress On that note, to really get your moneys worth from all this skill development, make sure you keep track of your progress. I keep a yoga journal, since being told to for the teacher training course I’ve been on. I’ve noticed that writing about the classes I attend, what I’m learning, how I’m growing in my practise, is all really encouraging for my competence. I feel like I’m making improvements, when I’ve kept a record. It means that if I have a day where I can’t hold Tree pose for more than a second, I can leaf back through my journal and remind myself that I am capable, I am improving overall, and it’s OK to have an off-day. Track your progress!   How to Boost Your Belonging 1. Find your tribe I spent far too long as a freelancer without even trying to find my tribe. Ultimately, I created my own. You might have heard of it, or even be a part of it - the League of Creative Introverts. When I moved to Brighton, I started a meet-up group to meet other creatives, and co-hosted an event for other female entrepreneurs. But I’ve also joined in with existing tribes. If I find something piquing my curiosity, it’s never long before I start looking on Facebook for a group around that topic, or for a podcast that delves into it. I recently found Yoga tribes, Astrology tribes, Digital Nomad tribes - and in every case, I’ve found like-minds who want to connect with others, and who embrace me with open arms, whether it’s in real life or on the interwebs. Also, note that you don’t have to be super active or vocal in these tribes, especially not at first. There’s nothing wrong with being a Facebook group lurker in my books. What might help boost your connection to the tribe, is by contacting a few individuals, to warm up. This also fits in my self-esteem boosting practise of emailing people I admire - this is a great first step to becoming friends with someone, telling them you love their work! As long as you mean it, that is. Or maybe it’s asking a question. Either way, those private 1-1 connections are not just more introvert-friendly, they’re also more powerful for forming real bonds, rather than superficial comments on an Instagram feed. 2. Get sharing This means sharing other people’s work and ideas, yes - that helps people notice you and see you as part of their tribe. But… yes, it also means sharing your OWN work. Stop protesting! If you aren’t doing this already, I implore you to start somewhere. A work in progress. Something you made years ago that’s never seen the light of day. And please, whatever you do: don’t get discouraged if no one comments, or likes or shares. This isn’t an overnight thing. This isn’t a popularity contest either. This is about the practise of letting yourself be open enough to the opinions of others - that means both their acceptance and their rejection - and over time, attracting your tribe. Which doesn’t happen if you’re invisible. 3. Ask for it Ask for what? Ask for feedback. Ask for shares. Ask for help. Ask for support. Ask for ideas. Ask for opinions. All of this helps the other quiet onlookers who might be your tribe, but who are also acting invisible, to pipe up and connect with you. We need invitations. Kind of like introvert vampires. Your tribe are likely a lot like you. And if you don’t pipe up without an invite, it’s likely they won’t either. The truth is, introvert OR extrovert, we like to take the easy route. I’m unlikely to spontaneously think of my friend who just released their book, and ask them to come on my podcast unless they’re reminded me and ask me if they can come on the show. I need prompting as much as anyone else. I’ve got another post all about the  Art of Asking, inspired by Amanda Palmer’s most excellent book. In short: if you want a sense of belonging, you need to ask for it. And chances are, your tribe will be grateful you did when they find out what a badass creative introvert you are. Before I go, I just wanted to tell you about something new I’ve created. It is a foundation on what we’ve been talking about today: the foundation of self-knowledge. It’s a Masterclass, which is made up of four mini-classes, all online + ready for you to consume at your convenience. Each mini-class has action steps to go along with it, to really help you delve into the material and really start to understand yourself; who you are, where you are and what you want. From there, like I said, you can take the first steps toward making improvements, in the areas you decide.    If you’d like to know more about this Confidence to Create Masterclass, you can check it out here.   POWERED BY PATREON This podcast is made possible only by means of my generous supporters on Patreon. Thank you! Supporting the Creative Introvert podcast also gets you lots of goodies, from a Monthly Ask Me Anything to a copy of my soon-to-be-released BOOK, The Creative Introvert: How to Build a Business You Love on Your Terms. Hitting milestones also funds future projects, and ideas guided by you, my supporters. BECOME A SUPPORTER

What the heck is confidence, really? Your confidence is made up of three areas: 1) Self esteem This is our judgement of how valuable we are, and how comfortable we feel being our self. So you can imagine low self-esteem statements are things like ‘I’m not good enough’ or ‘I don’t deserve this awesome thing’ and you can also see it when people reject compliments or self-sabotage. 2) Competence Sometimes referred to as self efficacy, this is how capable we feel at performing tasks, solving problems and achieving goals. So low competence might exhibit itself as imposter syndrome - so not feeling capable of the task at hand, feeling like you need MORE training or MORE knowledge or MORE skills. It’s different from low self esteem in that with competence you’re focussing on the skills or knowledge required, which are of course learnable - whereas with self-esteem, the feeling is deeper - more to do with your inherent worth as a human being. 3) Belonging This relates to how well we feel accepted by others. This is more outward focussed, more to do with how others perceive us and how we ‘fit’ into society, our community or even a small group like you might find in a workshop or classroom. <a href="https://lci.teachable.com/p/confidence-to-create" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"></a> It’s quite common that someone who is low in one of these areas tends to be low in the others, but it’s also possible to have low self-esteem but have high competence and/or a sense of belonging. For example, as a ‘recovering perfectionist’ myself, and having spoken to many others this combination can pop up frequently. Perfectionists may be overly-critical and negative about their personal traits (low self-esteem) and yet see themselves as quite capable in certain areas (high competence). A perfectionist architect might consider themselves competent at technical drawing, but feel unattractive and uncharismatic as a person. It’s easy for this to happen, because we might get encouraged in a measurable, outward-facing skill early in our lives, so we continue to excel at that because of the encouragement and validation we’re given. But, we might not have been given or might not recognise all the positive reinforcement from the less-measurable, less-tangible qualities we have. Unconditional love is just love for the sake of love, not for performing at a certain task - is something we all need, and that’s what boosts self-esteem. The problem is, even if we have it, whether it’s from a parent, grandparent, lover or friend - it’s harder to spot. Someone with high self-esteem can show up fully in projects and engage with people because they aren’t crippled with fear of failure or rejection. Of course they still get hurt and disappointed when things don’t go to plan, but their setbacks don’t diminish their sense of self. They are resilient, open to new experiences and relationships, have a higher tolerance to risk, and are accepting and forgiving of themselves and others. If we hear encouraging words from those key care givers early on, whether it’s encouragement in certain tasks (competence) or in words of unconditional love (self esteem) then we can develop a strong sense of belonging. This is the only element in the triad of confidence that I can’t see being cultivated from within. This really is dependent on those around us. Which is a bummer if you’re a highly independent introvert. On the upside, I’ve seen a STRONG correlation between raising competence and self esteem (even if that’s generated from within) and a rise in belonging. Why? How? Well, the more competent and sure of themselves a person is (er, to an extent) the more likely others are to approve of them. That’s how our monkey minds work. It’s hilarious really, when you think of some of the ‘guru’ figures out there. Whether it’s a rock star or some spiritual leader, they tend to have an abundance of self-confidence, and that alone attracts people. Even if those guru characters are full of hot air in reality. I’ve been trying to analyse what it is that draws me to certain thought leaders, and repels me to others. Regardless of their personality type or their talents, I have to admit they all have an air of confidence about them. However, this also comes with a limit. Someone who is overly confident and doesn’t back it up with skills (so high self-esteem without the competence in an area I can measure or observe) I’m repelled. The thing is, this is all relative. My judgement of someone’s competence says more about my tastes and values than it does about that person. And naturally, someone could look at my work and deem me incompetent, and therefore see any self-esteem I show as unwarranted, and therefore they won’t approve of me. Therefore, I don’t get rewarded by that sense of belonging from them - they’re effectively saying: I don’t want you in my tribe, thank you very much. For this reason, my theory is that consciously or unconsciously, many of us more thoughtful, introspective souls try to purposely lower our self esteem in order to match the lowest possible opinion someone might have about our work - our competence. If I take my sporting ability - which is unquestionably my greatest weakness in terms of outwardly observable skills, it’s safe to say I have low competence in this area. But if I use this as a measuring stick to assess my self-esteem, I end up with low competence AND low self-esteem. So when someone from another tribe sees me, they’ll likely judge me as a bit lame and insecure, and probably won’t give me much approval and acceptance. So, I don’t get my sense of belonging either. Let me elaborate: if you tie your competence with your self-esteem, you’re in for a lot of trouble. You could end up like a guru or a narcissist, full of hot air because they’ve overinflated their self-esteem, and it’s NOT backed up by their competence. OR you risk lowering yourself to one of the few things you’re not so good at - we all have them. Either way, you’re going to alienate others, and that sense of belonging goes unfulfilled. So what’s the solution? What’s the right balance? How do you boost confidence using this funky little triad of opinions and beliefs? Well, for starters know that your self esteem is NOT dependent on your competence. I repeat: it doesn’t matter a dam how good you are at drawing ponies or how crap you are at maths. Each and every one of us is 110% deserving of unconditional love. And you can tell from that percentage how bad I am at maths. The good news is you DON’T have to depend on others for this esteem. The bad news is: it sure does help. Of course it helps to have someone tell you they love you unconditionally. However, if you go through life depending on others for that, you’re likely to run into some real obstacles along the way. Finally, your sense of belonging is not set either. It isn’t dependent on how much your parents loved you or how many or how few friends you had at school. The bad news for us introverts is that to find a sense of belonging, we need to put ourselves out there a bit. We need to give others a chance to see who we are, what we’re about and form their opinions of us. And that is fucking scary. Of course it’s scary to risk disapproval. It’s the same fear that our ancestors faced when they were trying to please other tribe members, or risk being kicked out and thrown to the wilderness. But unlike what our ancestors faced, this is not a life or death thing. Twitter can make it feel that way, but really really: it just doesn’t matter if someone doesn’t ‘get’ you. Or that someone doesn’t see your competence, or that they’re jealous of your competence and want to tear you down to build their own fragile self-esteem (this doesn’t work by the way, not in the long run.) Now I think we’re clear on what confidence is made up of - self esteem, competence and belonging, and we’re clear on what the elements of this triad are dependent on and what they’re not dependent on - I’m going to round this up with some things you might want to try that will give you a little boost in all these areas, without faking anything or using the dark arts to boost your confidence. Your confidence will be built on strong, stable and sincere foundations. From there, over time, your confidence will grow up big and strong and carry you through just about anything you do. How to Boost Your Self-esteem 1. Mindfulness I know it’s not the most original recommendation in history, but my LAWD is it powerful. The truth is, we can’t change something if we don’t recognise what we can change. By simply becoming aware of our negative self-talk, we begin to distance ourselves from the feelings it brings up. The practise of mindfulness lets us recognise these thoughts and feelings, but more importantly, lets us DISTANCE ourselves from them. Without this awareness, we can easily fall into the trap of believing our self-limiting talk, and our self esteem stays down in the dumps. “Don’t believe everything you think. Thoughts are just that — thoughts.” ~ Allan Lokos I really recommend the Waking Up app, from Sam Harris. I find it non-cheesy, non-preachy, and suitable for the secular-minded. There are some really powerful though experiments there too, so be prepared to have your brain changed (for the better.) 2. Exercise I told you sport is not my forté, but even I can’t deny the benefits of moving the old body. I’ve managed to find ways of exercising I do, for the most part enjoy, like yoga, walking and… well, that’s it. But even if these were a pain in the arse (and some days they are) I can’t deny how much better I feel about myself when I exercise. I’ve left the days of using exercise to change how I look on the outside, and use it as a tool to feel better on the inside. And I don’t think it’s a placebo - many studies show a correlation between exercise and higher self-esteem, as well as improved overall mental health. It’s empowering to know you’ve done something good for yourself, and over time those little wins add up. Plus, the physical benefits like lower heart rate, higher happy hormones and better sleep, all help the self-esteem journey. You can’t simultaneously feel like crap when your body is telling you otherwise. 3. Share the love David Simonsen, Ph.D., LMFT, says: “What I find is that the more someone does something in their life that they can be proud of, the easier it is for them to recognise their worth. Doing things that one can respect about themselves is the one key that I have found that works to raise one’s worth. It is something tangible. Helping at a homeless shelter, animal shelter, giving of time at a big brother or sister organisation. These are things that mean something and give value to not only oneself, but to someone else as well.” And it doesn’t mean your contribution has to be time consuming or expensive. Something i love to do is send random emails to people - authors, artists, podcasters - who have made some impact in my life, even if it’s mini, and I thank them. Weirdly, by boosting someone else's self-esteem, mine seems to receive an equal or maybe even greater boost.   How to Boost Your Competence 1. Assess yourself As I mentioned earlier, you can’t change anything if you don’t know what you can change. Taking a kind of competence inventory is the first step towards this self-knowledge. This means making a list of the skills you have, as well as the skills you want to develop. It’s worth noting that for each skill you want to improve on, note why you want that skill. There might be some skills you don’t have but have no real reason to improve them. So don’t! I have no ambitions to become the worlds first record-breaking 5’3” ginger powerlifter, so I’ll let that one go. I go through a process for spotting your Superpowers in the Masterclass for this month, Create with Confidence. 2. Make a mastery plan Next, you can start to create your plan to improve on the skills you identified. If you’re feeling a little low in your competence at photographing your work, so you can post really gorgeous product shots on your Etsy store or Instagram, then google “product photography course.” I just dod a google search on that - and there are plenty! OK so once you have some resources, decide how much time you’ll dedicate to that skill. An hour a day or a couple of hours a week? Or just a workshop next month? These are all little commitments you can make that will not only boost your competence - they’ll boost your self-esteem too because sticking to the promises we make with ourselves, is like rocket fuel for self-esteem. 3. Track your progress On that note, to really get your moneys worth from all this skill development, make sure you keep track of your progress. I keep a yoga journal, since being told to for the teacher training course I’ve been on. I’ve noticed that writing about the classes I attend, what I’m learning, how I’m growing in my practise, is all really encouraging for my competence. I feel like I’m making improvements, when I’ve kept a record. It means that if I have a day where I can’t hold Tree pose for more than a second, I can leaf back through my journal and remind myself that I am capable, I am improving overall, and it’s OK to have an off-day. Track your progress!   How to Boost Your Belonging 1. Find your tribe I spent far too long as a freelancer without even trying to find my tribe. Ultimately, I created my own. You might have heard of it, or even be a part of it - <a href="https://www.thecreativeintrovert.com/lci/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">the League of Creative Introverts.</a> When I moved to Brighton, I started a meet-up group to meet other creatives, and co-hosted an event for other female entrepreneurs. But I’ve also joined in with existing tribes. If I find something piquing my curiosity, it’s never long before I start looking on Facebook for a group around that topic, or for a podcast that delves into it. I recently found Yoga tribes, Astrology tribes, Digital Nomad tribes - and in every case, I’ve found like-minds who want to connect with others, and who embrace me with open arms, whether it’s in real life or on the interwebs. Also, note that you don’t have to be super active or vocal in these tribes, especially not at first. There’s nothing wrong with being a Facebook group lurker in my books. What might help boost your connection to the tribe, is by contacting a few individuals, to warm up. This also fits in my self-esteem boosting practise of emailing people I admire - this is a great first step to becoming friends with someone, telling them you love their work! As long as you mean it, that is. Or maybe it’s asking a question. Either way, those private 1-1 connections are not just more introvert-friendly, they’re also more powerful for forming real bonds, rather than superficial comments on an Instagram feed. 2. Get sharing This means sharing other people’s work and ideas, yes - that helps people notice you and see you as part of their tribe. But… yes, it also means sharing your OWN work. Stop protesting! If you aren’t doing this already, I implore you to start somewhere. A work in progress. Something you made years ago that’s never seen the light of day. And please, whatever you do: don’t get discouraged if no one comments, or likes or shares. This isn’t an overnight thing. This isn’t a popularity contest either. This is about the practise of letting yourself be open enough to the opinions of others - that means both their acceptance and their rejection - and over time, attracting your tribe. Which doesn’t happen if you’re invisible. 3. Ask for it Ask for what? Ask for feedback. Ask for shares. Ask for help. Ask for support. Ask for ideas. Ask for opinions. All of this helps the other quiet onlookers who might be your tribe, but who are also acting invisible, to pipe up and connect with you. We need invitations. Kind of like introvert vampires. Your tribe are likely a lot like you. And if you don’t pipe up without an invite, it’s likely they won’t either. The truth is, introvert OR extrovert, we like to take the easy route. I’m unlikely to spontaneously think of my friend who just released their book, and ask them to come on my podcast unless they’re reminded me and ask me if they can come on the show. I need prompting as much as anyone else. I’ve got another post all about the <a href="https://www.thecreativeintrovert.com/introverts-struggle-ask-help/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> Art of Asking</a>, inspired by Amanda Palmer’s most excellent book. In short: if you want a sense of belonging, you need to ask for it. And chances are, your tribe will be grateful you did when they find out what a badass creative introvert you are. Before I go, I just wanted to tell you about something new I’ve created. It is a foundation on what we’ve been talking about today: the foundation of self-knowledge. It’s a Masterclass, which is made up of four mini-classes, all online + ready for you to consume at your convenience. Each mini-class has action steps to go along with it, to really help you delve into the material and really start to understand yourself; who you are, where you are and what you want. From there, like I said, you can take the first steps toward making improvements, in the areas you decide. <a href="https://lci.teachable.com/p/confidence-to-create" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"></a>   If you’d like to know more about this Confidence to Create Masterclass, <a href="https://lci.teachable.com/p/confidence-to-create" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">you can check it out here.</a><a href="https://itunes.apple.com/podcast/creative-introvert-podcast/id1195158914" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> </a> <a href="http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/the-creative-introvert-podcast" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"></a> POWERED BY PATREON This podcast is made possible only by means of my generous supporters <a href="https://www.patreon.com/creativeintro" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">on Patreon</a>. Thank you! Supporting the Creative Introvert podcast also gets you lots of goodies, from a Monthly Ask Me Anything to a copy of my soon-to-be-released BOOK, The Creative Introvert: How to Build a Business You Love on Your Terms. Hitting milestones also funds future projects, and ideas guided by you, my supporters. <a href="https://www.patreon.com/creativeintro" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank">BECOME A SUPPORTER</a>

CIP #081: How to Have Confidence in What You Do

Do you feel like you’re ready to quit? Do you feel like you’re flogging a dead horse and beginning to look like a creazy person to you fam and friends? Do you have an iron-clad grip on a project or pursuit that is costing you time, money and energy - and your sanity? Then OH BOY do I have a podcast for you!   Shownotes &gt;&gt; https://wp.me/p5bc9S-2bL

Do you feel like you’re ready to quit? Do you feel like you’re flogging a dead horse and beginning to look like a creazy person to you fam and friends? Do you have an iron-clad grip on a project or pursuit that is costing you time, money and energy - and your sanity? Then OH BOY do I have a podcast for you! Shownotes &gt;&gt; <a href="https://wp.me/p5bc9S-2bL" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://wp.me/p5bc9S-2bL</a>

CIP054: When To Quit and When To Stick

One of the most common challenges I come across in speaking to a range of creative introverts in my coaching , or in my online community or just out and about: is lack of support. It's actually the one that's surprised me most, even though I can 100% relate. It surprised me, because I assumed for the longest time, that as introverts we don't need support. We are intrinsically motivated, we are captains of our ship and we have no need for crew mates. How wrong I was. For one, our need for support starts from the day we're born and whilst it lessens greatly throughout our life, I don't believe we ever fully lose the need for external support. How much of it we need can vary greatly between people, and my assumption here is that it all stems from those early years. Did we get the support we needed in those early days, enough that we felt reassured enough to go out in the world alone, and tackle it with confidence? Or were we taught the world is a dangerous place? And maybe we became too reliant on external support? These are arguably issues that only a therapist can truly cover, but on a lighter note, I think we can cover a lot of ground today, especially in how support systems can help us in overcoming inner resistance to creative work. Ok so, lets start with some of the stories we're told as creatives, ones that may have come from people who care about us and want the best for us,but arguably have no fucking clue what they're talking about. When I was wee, I knew from around age 4 that drawing was my thing, and that there were people out there whose job it was to be artists and make pictures for a living. So that's what I wanted to be, an artist. But then I was told that artists mostly don't make very much money, and some go crazy and cut off their ear. So, I decided that I could be an illustrator, like my hero EH Shepherd. But then I was told that lots of people want to be illustrators,and that print was dying and there were only so many things out there to be illustrated. In fact, if I wanted to get a job, I had better learn how to design websites. Sigh. Whilst everything kind of worked out, and I still enjoy designing websites from time to time, I do wonder what would have happened if I had followed my dreams and become a real artist. Sure, I picked up illustration again at a later age, but by this time I lacked confidence in my abilities in the competitive industry. What might have been possible had I had the support from those around me? Family or teachers who cared about my wellbeing, but couldn't give the support I needed because they lacked faith, maybe because their dreams hadn't been supported either. So maybe you've experienced this in your own creative career. May be it's from friends, family, teachers, professors. People telling you that what you want to do is too hard or too risky or too competitive. And maybe they have a point. The best jobs in life are more difficult to get because other wise everyone would be doing them! But why in goods name can't you be one of the ones who gets to do it? And before you start giving me reasons why you can't, let me stop you there. Yes, there will be sacrifices. Yes there will be bumps in the road. But it's in these moments that you most need support from those around you. You can borrow their faith in you, and use it to push through those days of doubt. I didn't realise how powerful this was until I had my first ever coaching session. This was with a gentleman named Martin Stellar,whose interview you'll find back on episode 08 of the podcast. Basically, I had no idea what to expect from this basic stranger,nor what coaching really was. But the thing that convinced me that coaching was incredibly useful for creatives, and the thing that stuck with me, was Martins belief in me. Again, he didn't really know me, but regardless, he gave me such faith in myself and my ability to follow this journey, this journey to my wildest dreams, and I believed him. I still do. And when i am having those moments of self-doubt, I think back to those kind words. More so, I think back to the feeling behind it, which magically carried through Skype,and which I felt too. Note that I'm not suggesting all you need is someone to tell you you're great no matter what There's a difference between mindless support that grandma gives you, and the support from someone who believes in you, but who'll call you on your bullshit. Who, in times when you're scared of taking the next step, who won't tell you "that's ok honey, go lie on the spa and I'll bake you cookies" but who'll tell you actually, you CAN do that thing you're scared of because I believe in you. Or yes you can do that scary thing because I've been there before and yes I was scared but I went and did it and didn't die. Ok so, what does this mean, do you all need to work with a coach who'll give you on-tap support and encouragement? May be. But there are other sources of support I recommend you explore. 1) Community Ok, ok, I know: you're an introvert ! Community sounds like a whole lot of people. Technically, it is. But it doesn't mean you have to hang out with them all at once. I feel like I've taped into an incredibly supportive creative community here in Brighton, and have felt that way since about 6 months in. It's now been two years, and I still don't go to many events with lots of strangers, instead, I've got a shortlist of besties who I can see, mostly only one or two at a time. People I can rely on to help me if I need some moral support, or just to bitch about the perils of self employment. Or people who can recommend me to their friends, who might also be creative introverts. Now, this is a different community to what I was used to back in London. Friends there, as much as I love them, know a different version of me. One that's mostly unconnected to my work, and who I'm not interested in discussing my work with, and vice versa. What my point is, is that you might need to go out and make some new friends. Some creative cronies. Not that you need to abandon your old buds,but that in a fresh friendship, with someone with similar goals to you, that can be all the support you need. So, I won't lie, the idea of making new friends sounds awfully un introvert friendly, but trust me, if I can do it you can do it. (See? Support!) Meetup.com was my saving grace.I'll be honest, existing meetups were not my jam, so I started one, 100% on my terms on a Saturday morning, which attracted people like me. Fellow creative introverts who weren't going there to pick up a date, but who wanted to spend their Saturday morning on their creativity, rather than in their bed, hungover. Of course, you don't have to go anywhere physically, especially if you don't live in a particularly diverse city, you might be lucky enough to live out in the sticks somewhere. In this case, I'm going to recommend really investing some time and some faith into online communities. I'll be honest, free groups or forums are naturally going to attract more. ..crazies. just like online dating, I think we all know there's a difference in calibre to the relationships formed on a free platform that on a paid platform, there just is a different level of commitment and emotional investment in the paid options. Of course, is be remiss not to mention my own online community, the League of Creative introverts,who are a stellar mix of supportive, generous, big hearted souls, even if I'm biased,and who know the value of getting support as well as giving it. More info about the league can be found at thecreativeintrovert.com/lci So. Support. l also want to let you know, that nothing can beat inner support. We really do require both inner &amp; outer support, and neither one can make up for the lack of the other. So, how to cultivate inner support? Don't worry, I'm not going to tell you to yell words of affirmation at yourself in the mirror. This inner support is quiet, really quiet. And subtle. It's the little voice that sparks the brilliant, bold idea in the first place. The problem is, that we stop listening to it when our fears, or our inner critic shows up. lt doesn't help when external critics show up either. But we can come back to that little voice, and coax it out with gentle reminders like remembering past accomplishments. Things you've overcome, fears you've faced. And this is also why I recommend scaring yourself - just a little bit - regularly to build up that resume of challenging things you didn't die doing. It's why I get on stage as much as someone lets me. It's not for pure pleasure, or even the adrenaline rush: it's for my Fear CV. The thing I can whip out when I need a bit of support. It means I have an ongoing, always growing, reminder of what I can do: and a hint of what I could do. My final words are that is ok to admit you need a bit of support and encouragement from time to time. Following your dreams isn't the easiest thing to do, in fact it might very well be the hardest thing you'll ever do. And you don't have to go the journey alone. There are many, so many, who have gone before you, and are going with you, you just need to look for them and ask, do you reckon we can do this? I do.   Links mentioned: Martin Stellar The League of Creative Introverts 21 Days of Creative Prompts

One of the most common challenges I come across in speaking to a range of creative introverts in my coaching , or in my online community or just out and about: is lack of support. It's actually the one that's surprised me most, even though I can 100% relate. It surprised me, because I assumed for the longest time, that as introverts we don't need support. We are intrinsically motivated, we are captains of our ship and we have no need for crew mates. How wrong I was. For one, our need for support starts from the day we're born and whilst it lessens greatly throughout our life, I don't believe we ever fully lose the need for external support. How much of it we need can vary greatly between people, and my assumption here is that it all stems from those early years. Did we get the support we needed in those early days, enough that we felt reassured enough to go out in the world alone, and tackle it with confidence? Or were we taught the world is a dangerous place? And maybe we became too reliant on external support? These are arguably issues that only a therapist can truly cover, but on a lighter note, I think we can cover a lot of ground today, especially in how support systems can help us in overcoming inner resistance to creative work. Ok so, lets start with some of the stories we're told as creatives, ones that may have come from people who care about us and want the best for us,but arguably have no fucking clue what they're talking about. When I was wee, I knew from around age 4 that drawing was my thing, and that there were people out there whose job it was to be artists and make pictures for a living. So that's what I wanted to be, an artist. But then I was told that artists mostly don't make very much money, and some go crazy and cut off their ear. So, I decided that I could be an illustrator, like my hero EH Shepherd. But then I was told that lots of people want to be illustrators,and that print was dying and there were only so many things out there to be illustrated. In fact, if I wanted to get a job, I had better learn how to design websites. Sigh. Whilst everything kind of worked out, and I still enjoy designing websites from time to time, I do wonder what would have happened if I had followed my dreams and become a real artist. Sure, I picked up illustration again at a later age, but by this time I lacked confidence in my abilities in the competitive industry. What might have been possible had I had the support from those around me? Family or teachers who cared about my wellbeing, but couldn't give the support I needed because they lacked faith, maybe because their dreams hadn't been supported either. So maybe you've experienced this in your own creative career. May be it's from friends, family, teachers, professors. People telling you that what you want to do is too hard or too risky or too competitive. And maybe they have a point. The best jobs in life are more difficult to get because other wise everyone would be doing them! But why in goods name can't you be one of the ones who gets to do it? And before you start giving me reasons why you can't, let me stop you there. Yes, there will be sacrifices. Yes there will be bumps in the road. But it's in these moments that you most need support from those around you. You can borrow their faith in you, and use it to push through those days of doubt. I didn't realise how powerful this was until I had my first ever coaching session. This was with a gentleman named Martin Stellar,whose interview you'll find back on episode 08 of the podcast. Basically, I had no idea what to expect from this basic stranger,nor what coaching really was. But the thing that convinced me that coaching was incredibly useful for creatives, and the thing that stuck with me, was Martins belief in me. Again, he didn't really know me, but regardless, he gave me such faith in myself and my ability to follow this journey, this journey to my wildest dreams, and I believed him. I still do. And when i am having those moments of self-doubt, I think back to those kind words. More so, I think back to the feeling behind it, which magically carried through Skype,and which I felt too. Note that I'm not suggesting all you need is someone to tell you you're great no matter what There's a difference between mindless support that grandma gives you, and the support from someone who believes in you, but who'll call you on your bullshit. Who, in times when you're scared of taking the next step, who won't tell you "that's ok honey, go lie on the spa and I'll bake you cookies" but who'll tell you actually, you CAN do that thing you're scared of because I believe in you. Or yes you can do that scary thing because I've been there before and yes I was scared but I went and did it and didn't die. Ok so, what does this mean, do you all need to work with a coach who'll give you on-tap support and encouragement? May be. But there are other sources of support I recommend you explore. 1) Community Ok, ok, I know: you're an introvert ! Community sounds like a whole lot of people. Technically, it is. But it doesn't mean you have to hang out with them all at once. I feel like I've taped into an incredibly supportive creative community here in Brighton, and have felt that way since about 6 months in. It's now been two years, and I still don't go to many events with lots of strangers, instead, I've got a shortlist of besties who I can see, mostly only one or two at a time. People I can rely on to help me if I need some moral support, or just to bitch about the perils of self employment. Or people who can recommend me to their friends, who might also be creative introverts. Now, this is a different community to what I was used to back in London. Friends there, as much as I love them, know a different version of me. One that's mostly unconnected to my work, and who I'm not interested in discussing my work with, and vice versa. What my point is, is that you might need to go out and make some new friends. Some creative cronies. Not that you need to abandon your old buds,but that in a fresh friendship, with someone with similar goals to you, that can be all the support you need. So, I won't lie, the idea of making new friends sounds awfully un introvert friendly, but trust me, if I can do it you can do it. (See? Support!) <a href="http://Meetup.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Meetup.com</a> was my saving grace.I'll be honest, existing meetups were not my jam, so I started one, 100% on my terms on a Saturday morning, which attracted people like me. Fellow creative introverts who weren't going there to pick up a date, but who wanted to spend their Saturday morning on their creativity, rather than in their bed, hungover. Of course, you don't have to go anywhere physically, especially if you don't live in a particularly diverse city, you might be lucky enough to live out in the sticks somewhere. In this case, I'm going to recommend really investing some time and some faith into online communities. I'll be honest, free groups or forums are naturally going to attract more. ..crazies. just like online dating, I think we all know there's a difference in calibre to the relationships formed on a free platform that on a paid platform, there just is a different level of commitment and emotional investment in the paid options. Of course, is be remiss not to mention my own online community, the League of Creative introverts,who are a stellar mix of supportive, generous, big hearted souls, even if I'm biased,and who know the value of getting support as well as giving it. More info about the league can be found at <a href="http://thecreativeintrovert.com/lci" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">thecreativeintrovert.com/lci</a> So. Support. l also want to let you know, that nothing can beat inner support. We really do require both inner &amp; outer support, and neither one can make up for the lack of the other. So, how to cultivate inner support? Don't worry, I'm not going to tell you to yell words of affirmation at yourself in the mirror. This inner support is quiet, really quiet. And subtle. It's the little voice that sparks the brilliant, bold idea in the first place. The problem is, that we stop listening to it when our fears, or our inner critic shows up. lt doesn't help when external critics show up either. But we can come back to that little voice, and coax it out with gentle reminders like remembering past accomplishments. Things you've overcome, fears you've faced. And this is also why I recommend scaring yourself - just a little bit - regularly to build up that resume of challenging things you didn't die doing. It's why I get on stage as much as someone lets me. It's not for pure pleasure, or even the adrenaline rush: it's for my Fear CV. The thing I can whip out when I need a bit of support. It means I have an ongoing, always growing, reminder of what I can do: and a hint of what I could do. My final words are that is ok to admit you need a bit of support and encouragement from time to time. Following your dreams isn't the easiest thing to do, in fact it might very well be the hardest thing you'll ever do. And you don't have to go the journey alone. There are many, so many, who have gone before you, and are going with you, you just need to look for them and ask, do you reckon we can do this? I do.   Links mentioned: <a href="https://www.thecreativeintrovert.com/cip008/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Martin Stellar</a> <a href="https://www.thecreativeintrovert.com/lci/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">The League of Creative Introverts</a> <a href="https://mailchi.mp/thecreativeintrovert/21days" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">21 Days of Creative Prompts</a>

CIP067: Lack of Support

Mariëlle Smith

Mariëlle is a writer and editor and coaches writers and other creatives who are tired of being in their own way. Next to her non-fiction work, she is currently working on a YA urban fantasy series, and she writes LGBTQIA* sexy romance with Sìne Màiri Ní Ailpín under a pen name. She recently moved to Cyprus, an tiny island in the Mediterranean Sea, where she organises private writer's retreats, is inspired 24/7, and feeds more stray cats than she could have ever imagined.   We discuss: • Using tarot and other divinatory tools in your creative work • How to tell if it's your ego speaking or your intuition speaking • Mariëlle's creative process, as an INFJ And much more!   This podcast is made possible only by means of my generous supporters on Patreon. Thank you! Supporting the Creative Introvert podcast also gets you lots of goodies, from a Monthly Ask Me Anything to access to the entire Creative Introvert Academy, packed with exclusive courses and resources for furthering your creative career. Hitting milestones also funds future projects, and ideas guided by you, my supporters.   Support the show &gt;&gt; https://www.patreon.com/creativeintro

Mariëlle is a writer and editor and coaches writers and other creatives who are tired of being in their own way. Next to her non-fiction work, she is currently working on a YA urban fantasy series, and she writes LGBTQIA* sexy romance with Sìne Màiri Ní Ailpín under a pen name. She recently moved to Cyprus, an tiny island in the Mediterranean Sea, where she organises private writer's retreats, is inspired 24/7, and feeds more stray cats than she could have ever imagined. We discuss: • Using tarot and other divinatory tools in your creative work • How to tell if it's your ego speaking or your intuition speaking • Mariëlle's creative process, as an INFJ And much more! This podcast is made possible only by means of my generous supporters <a href="https://www.patreon.com/creativeintro" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">on Patreon</a>. Thank you! Supporting the Creative Introvert podcast also gets you lots of goodies, from a Monthly Ask Me Anything to access to the entire Creative Introvert Academy, packed with exclusive courses and resources for furthering your creative career. Hitting milestones also funds future projects, and ideas guided by you, my supporters. Support the show &gt;&gt; <a href="https://www.patreon.com/creativeintro" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.patreon.com/creativeintro</a>

Mariëlle Smith on Using Your Intuition in Your Creative Work

I’ve hesitated to talk about this partly because I don’t like to dwell on my own sob stories unless I think I can be helpful, and up till now, I don’t think I’ve been confident I can do that with anxiety. The other reason is my own… denial. Denial that I could be feeling anything less than perky and enthusiastic, and denying that to myself let alone podcast listeners. Oh and of course, my fear that I can even talk about anxiety because I haven't personally experienced an anxiety attack/panic attack. But I think it's all relative, and if more of us are willing to talk about this stuff, the better we can support each other and manage these inner shit-storms. The reason I’m finally getting around to talking about this and think it might be a helpful episode, is because of a couple of other podcasts I listened to in the past week, which revealed some misunderstanding on the part of the podcasters about introversion, high sensitivity and social anxiety. In the podcasts, which had some great info in them btw, it seemed to me that all three tendencies were getting clumped together. And whilst I do think overlap between introversion, HS and anxiety occur quite frequently in one person, I really don’t like the idea of confusing one for another. I don’t think it’s helpful. I’ve spoken a lot about introversion before, a little about HS - but not about anxiety. Hopefully in this episode I can clear up some misconceptions about the links between these traits and issues, and maybe even offer some advice I’ve found helpful for managing my own anxiety.   I discuss:  My story with anxiety Defining anxiety Types of anxiety Why we get it Anxiety and introversion Anxiety and high sensitivity How to handle anxiety    Links mentioned: Are you a Highly Sensitive Person?  Test for 4 different types of Introvert The Creative Introvert book Calming tunes Spotify playlist   POWERED BY PATREON This podcast is made possible only by means of my generous supporters on Patreon. Thank you! Supporting the Creative Introvert podcast also gets you lots of goodies, from a Monthly Ask Me Anything to a copy of my new BOOK, The Creative Introvert: How to Build a Business You Love on Your Terms. Hitting milestones also funds future projects, and ideas guided by you, my supporters.

I’ve hesitated to talk about this partly because I don’t like to dwell on my own sob stories unless I think I can be helpful, and up till now, I don’t think I’ve been confident I can do that with anxiety. The other reason is my own… denial. Denial that I could be feeling anything less than perky and enthusiastic, and denying that to myself let alone podcast listeners. Oh and of course, my fear that I can even talk about anxiety because I haven't personally experienced an anxiety attack/panic attack. But I think it's all relative, and if more of us are willing to talk about this stuff, the better we can support each other and manage these inner shit-storms. The reason I’m finally getting around to talking about this and think it might be a helpful episode, is because of a couple of other podcasts I listened to in the past week, which revealed some misunderstanding on the part of the podcasters about introversion, high sensitivity and social anxiety. In the podcasts, which had some great info in them btw, it seemed to me that all three tendencies were getting clumped together. And whilst I do think overlap between introversion, HS and anxiety occur quite frequently in one person, I really don’t like the idea of confusing one for another. I don’t think it’s helpful. I’ve spoken a lot about introversion before, a little about HS - but not about anxiety. Hopefully in this episode I can clear up some misconceptions about the links between these traits and issues, and maybe even offer some advice I’ve found helpful for managing my own anxiety.   I discuss: <ul> <li>My story with anxiety</li> <li>Defining anxiety</li> <li>Types of anxiety</li> <li>Why we get it</li> <li>Anxiety and introversion</li> <li>Anxiety and high sensitivity</li> <li>How to handle anxiety</li> </ul>   Links mentioned: <a href="https://www.thecreativeintrovert.com/cip063-your-energy-needs/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Are you a Highly Sensitive Person?</a> <a href="https://blogs.scientificamerican.com/beautiful-minds/what-kind-of-introvert-are-you/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> Test for 4 different types of Introvert</a> <a href="https://www.thecreativeintrovert.com/pre-order" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">The Creative Introvert book</a> <a href="https://open.spotify.com/playlist/31lxxIDyC3qYrtH6TpGFwx" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Calming tunes Spotify playlist</a>   POWERED BY PATREON This podcast is made possible only by means of my generous supporters <a href="https://www.patreon.com/creativeintro" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">on Patreon</a>. Thank you! Supporting the Creative Introvert podcast also gets you lots of goodies, from a Monthly Ask Me Anything to a copy of my new BOOK, <a href="https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1731392788" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">The Creative Introvert: How to Build a Business You Love on Your Terms.</a> Hitting milestones also funds future projects, and ideas guided by you, my supporters.

CIP090: Are Introverts More Prone To Anxiety?

To clarify: the 'C' word I'm referring to is: CONFIDENCE. It's a word that has been, for me, muddied with the likes of ‘confidence gurus’ and other extroverted characters I’ve never been able to relate to. When speaking to my coach about this confidence conundrum, he reminded me of the origin of the word: 'confidence' comes from the Latin fidere, 'to trust.' To be confident is to trust in yourself, your actions and your place in the world. Words like trust and faith happened to be very meaningful to me at that point: they were my anchors; my antidotes to the fears I was facing at every turn in building my business. So I decided that instead of running away from the word, I’d reclaim it. Take it back to it’s origins, and dispel any myths and identity crises it’s had over the years since the self-help revolution captured it.

To clarify: the 'C' word I'm referring to is: CONFIDENCE. It's a word that has been, for me, muddied with the likes of ‘confidence gurus’ and other extroverted characters I’ve never been able to relate to. When speaking to my coach about this confidence conundrum, he reminded me of the origin of the word: 'confidence' comes from the Latin fidere, 'to trust.' To be confident is to trust in yourself, your actions and your place in the world. Words like trust and faith happened to be very meaningful to me at that point: they were my anchors; my antidotes to the fears I was facing at every turn in building my business. So I decided that instead of running away from the word, I’d reclaim it. Take it back to it’s origins, and dispel any myths and identity crises it’s had over the years since the self-help revolution captured it.

CIP003: The C Word (Not Another How-to-Act-More Confident Guide)

I love talking about big things. Big dreams, big ideas, big plans. But I’ve noticed that the majority of these conversations tend to peter out the same way. With something to the effect of ‘Ahh but I just don’t have the time.' Or ‘I’ve tried in the past but gave up because it took up too much time.' And before I pull out the quote ‘Beyonce has the same number of hours in a day to you’ which is true but not helpful - I just want to preface this podcast with letting you know I was THE laziest kid in the world. Really: I remember being asked in school how many hours of TV I watched a day - and my answer came out 2 hours above the majority of the class. My mum had to stop taking me to ballet classes because I refused to give up my Saturday morning cartoons - specifically, I believe it clashed with Rocko’s Modern Life. Anyway, getting sh*t done does NOT come easily to me: it’s something I’ve tried really hard over the years to master and I still struggle with it today. Who doesn’t? But because I’m so bloody lazy, I’ve managed to - over the years - devise crafty ways to make tackling the to-do list as easy as humanly possible. Part of my success I believe, involves knowing as much as I can about my personality type; my preferences, my tendencies - and using that knowledge to shape how I tackle any task. I really think this is key: and as I go through these 4 steps I’m about to lay out I’ll keep referring to ways you can use your own knowledge about yourself, whether it’s your introversion, extroversion, whether you’re an early bird or a nigh owl - all that stuff - to really tailor these strategies to you - and ultimately, get sh*t done.

I love talking about big things. Big dreams, big ideas, big plans. But I’ve noticed that the majority of these conversations tend to peter out the same way. With something to the effect of ‘Ahh but I just don’t have the time.' Or ‘I’ve tried in the past but gave up because it took up too much time.' And before I pull out the quote ‘Beyonce has the same number of hours in a day to you’ which is true but not helpful - I just want to preface this podcast with letting you know I was THE laziest kid in the world. Really: I remember being asked in school how many hours of TV I watched a day - and my answer came out 2 hours above the majority of the class. My mum had to stop taking me to ballet classes because I refused to give up my Saturday morning cartoons - specifically, I believe it clashed with Rocko’s Modern Life. Anyway, getting sh*t done does NOT come easily to me: it’s something I’ve tried really hard over the years to master and I still struggle with it today. Who doesn’t? But because I’m so bloody lazy, I’ve managed to - over the years - devise crafty ways to make tackling the to-do list as easy as humanly possible. Part of my success I believe, involves knowing as much as I can about my personality type; my preferences, my tendencies - and using that knowledge to shape how I tackle any task. I really think this is key: and as I go through these 4 steps I’m about to lay out I’ll keep referring to ways you can use your own knowledge about yourself, whether it’s your introversion, extroversion, whether you’re an early bird or a nigh owl - all that stuff - to really tailor these strategies to you - and ultimately, get sh*t done.

CIP005: Getting Sh*t Done When You're A Creative Introvert

Let’s say you’ve been at this game for a while now. You might have even been listening to  The Creative Introvert Podcast since it began, way back at the start of 2017. You might have even been doing some of the stuff I’ve been recommending. Taking action, journalling, finding a supportive community, showing your work. But. Things aren’t moving as quickly as you hoped. In fact, they’ve stalled. They might look like they’re even moving backwards, like when planets go into what astrologers call ‘retrograde’. Planets never actually go backwards by the way, it just looks like it does from our perspective. And that’s actually a great analogy here: I promise you, no matter what it looks like, you’re not going backwards. Everything that happens is more data. More information for you to use and move forward real soon. But I’ll admit it might look bad.   You might have set a goal months ago, a SMART goal: it was specific, measurable, actionable, realistic AND time bound. Or so you thought. That deadline has come and gone and you haven’t achieved that goal. No doubt, that sucks. As an avid goal setter, I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve missed the mark. And it sucks. It does. I won’t try and sugar coat that one. The only upside - and actually, it’s quite a big upside - is that in every case, in every missed goal or disappointment - I learned something or I grew in some way - more confidence, more skilis, or just something totally batshit crazy came out of left field. So yes, there’s the silver lining. But more importantly, what are those lessons that we can learn in our failures, disappointments and mistakes? Here are a collection of my lessons, that I’ve learned from these times, and hopefully they can help you, should you find that you’re not making progress. You can return to this checklist and get to the root of the problem that’s playing out, and hopefully find yourself an antidote to your deceleration.   1) You aren’t clear enough This is something that happens a lot to some of us creatives, particularly the highly imaginative, intuitive types. You might be an INFP on the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator. The Mystical Dreamer, if you’ve taken my  Creative Type Quiz. You love big pictures. Thinking big lights you up - the details can come later, right? Well… Sometimes, my fellow dreamers, we need to buckle down and actually look at those pesky details. We need clarity. I know that can seem boring, even redundant - I mean, we know the future is uncertain, don’t we? Doesn’t art, true creativity, originate from the darkness? The problem with this blurry thinking - or feeling - is that it makes focussing taking action and measuring our results really, really hard. How can you tell you aren’t making progress if you don’t know what the fuck you want?? You don’t get into a taxi without telling the driver where to go. Or get into an Uber without setting the destination first, I guess. You certainly can’t yell at the driver for not taking you to where you want to go if they don’t know. There are times for winging it, and going with the flow, but there are also times for getting super clear on what you want to do, be or have - and only THEN can you be a fair judge of where you’re at. Check out episodes: How To Set Kinesthetic Goals  Goal Getting For Introverts Part 1  Goal Getting For Introverts Part 2  7 Reasons You Might Not Be Achieving Your Creative Goals   2) You aren’t eating a frog a day Frog? You want us to eat frogs!? Well, apparently they’re a delicacy but I do want to respect the vegans out there and stress the point that this frog is indeed metaphorical. It’s actually a reference to the book, ‘Eat That Frog’ by Brian Tracy, personal-development extraordinaire, who talks about an old saying that if the first thing you do each morning is to eat a live frog, you’ll have the satisfaction of knowing that it's probably the worst thing you'll do all day. "The idea is to use ‘eat that frog’ as a metaphor for tackling the most challenging task of your day - the one you are most likely to procrastinate on, but also probably the one that can have the greatest positive impact on your life - Eat That Frog shows you how to zero in on these critical tasks and organise your day. You’ll not only get more done faster, but get the right things done." Other great books on this are The ONE Thing by Gary Keller, a book I both praise AND attack - and I’ll link to my  reasons for that here - but I can sum this up here: You need to get suuuuper clear on your priorities here. And really, I mean priority - your ONE thing. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, and again, but having one point of focus doesn’t mean you don’t do anything else - it just means it’s the one thing you don’t sacrifice FOR anything else. Got it? So for the last 8 months my book has been my frog, and I’m happy to say is at first-ish draft stage - but I certainly haven’t been doing ONLY this. What I’ve done is made it my daily priority. I’ve promised myself one hour, in the morning, in a coffee shop, 5 days a week. That’s it. That’s my ONE thing. The deal I’ve made with myself is that NOTHING can get in the way of that. And I won’t lie - it’s been tough. And it wa much tougher before I got clearer on this priority. When writing a book was just one of my many dreams, it simply wasn’t happening. Of course more urgent or more exciting things took precedent, and of course the book got delayed. As soon as I committed to this small but consistent daily book-writing session, I started making PROGRESS. So go on, eat that frog!   3) You’re sabotaging yourself Oh boy this is a bugger. Self-sabotage. We all have our reasons as to why we sabotage ourselves: just know that this is SUPER common and SUPER annoying. I cover this more in depth in episode  #37: Self Sabotage, Excuses and Procrastination (Oh My) but since recording that episode, I’ve learned a bit more about my own inner saboteur, so I’ll share some more advanced level stuff with you now. Like… What if you saw your inner saboteur as a friend? A shitty friend may be, but one with the best intentions. I like using the analogy of Chuckie in the Rugrats: he was such a wet blanket! And I always had to pretend to be him if we played Rugrats because of the hair. As annoying as he was, Chuckie was only ever trying to protect his best buddy Tommy and the others. As creatives, we are constantly taking risks. We risk people judging us, we risk rejection, we risk wasting time, energy, money, resources, we risk letting ourselves and others down.   If I’m being really honest with you: these aren’t just risks. They’re CERTAINTIES, if you decide to play this game for real. The more we play the game, the bigger the risks get. Wouldn’t it be safer, to stay at level 1? Chuckie would likely say yes. And I bet your inner saboteur has the smart idea to keep you at level 1, where it’s safe and you can handle the bad guys. If you aren’t making progress, there’s a good chance you’re payng too much attention to your inner scaredy cat - and I want to encourage you to listen to your inner courageous cat! Yeah. May be make a wrist band: What Would Courageous Cat Do? Of course, this doesn’t mean ignoring the voice that keeps you safe, it just means practising both. See what happens when you listen to the one that sounds brave, even a bit foolhardy. Just see what happens. Again, even if you risk something and fall on your face, you’ll have learned something. You’ll know what didn’t work, and you’ll have a clearer idea of what to do next time. That is in fact moving forward, making much more progress than you would have done if you’d have stayed stuck where you were, with Chuckie your inner saboteur.   4) Someone else is sabotaging you In the words of Julia Cameron, "Crazymakers are those personalities that create storm centers. They are often charismatic, frequently charming… and for the creative person in their vicinity, they are enormously destructive.” Crazymakers are the people in your life who, even if they also mean well, are just keeping you small, tired and fed up. Naturally, if you’re trying to make serious progress in your creative career or any life area for that matter, and someone close to you isn’t… it’s going to be hard for them. You’re constantly highlighting where they’re falling short. And naturally, they’re going to want to take you down to their level, even if they aren’t aware of it consciously. I had a crazy maker in my life once, and my biggest mistake was letting it go on for so long. In hindsight, I can see that she didn’t mean to be stifling, and I’ll admit I played my role in feeding her dependency. I let myself stay down, stay small, in order to accomodate her ego and be a classic people pleaser. Can you relate? If so, it might be time to start getting super clear on your boundaries. If your crazy maker is always dragging you out to the pub and encouraging you to stay out and get another round in, and then the next day you’re too hungover to get up early and work on that creative project… then you know what you have to do. Check your prioriities, and make it clear. Be honest with yourself, and with them. I’ll link to my favourite episode on boundaries and handling crazy makers here.   5) You don’t care enough Oooh, this is a harsh one. I kind of hated this lesson when I first learned it, and trust me I’ve had to learn it a few times before I softened to it and actually learned to accept it. There are some things in life we think we want. And may be we do want them, a good amount. But. They come with sacrifices. Oh yeah - I might have forgot to tell you that one. This stuff we want? Our creative dreams and goals? They come at a sacrifice. Which is totally fine, in fact it’s a really good deal, when we want something enough and we’re willing to pay the price. But… if the price is higher than our desire? Agh. You’ve got yourself a problem. I experienced this in my bout as a pet portrait artist. You’ve probably heard bits of this story before, but in short: my dream, what I thought I wanted, to draw people’s fur babies for a living, sounded SO great! Until I started doing it. I realised quite quickly that for me, it was destroying my love for what was my favourite past-time, like a sledgehammer to fine china. I realised it was something I loved, but the price to pay - it wasn’t worth it. Whereas web design or writing or podcasting or teaching or coaching - well, those are things I love just as much, but the price I pay is lower, much lower in some cases, than what I paid to bend over backwards for my dickish portrait clients. And that’s just me: we all have our price. What it costs me to stand up on stage and speak might be a way higher price in relation to it’s value to you, and you might find the price of dealing with your illustration clients way lower than I did. We ALL different. The question you need to ask yourself in the most ladylike way possible is: WHAT’S YOUR FLAVOUR OF SH*T SANDWICH? In short: do you want it enough, and if so - what are you willing to pay? If you’re not willing to pay the price, don’t be surprised if your so-called dreams aren’t being realised.   6) You are making progress, you just don’t know it I have one last analogy for you: we’re like thermostats. Not super original, but stick with me. We’re like thermostats in that we adjust: we have our goals, we make plans, and can only find out they’re stupid when we start taking action. At which point we adjust. That’s what everyone who’s ever done anything interesting will tell you: they learnt as they went along. They adjusted. They course corrected. Sure, they did their research, sucked up some know-how, asked lots of questions but at some point: they said screw it, I’ll do it. Richard Branson ACTUALLY said that. So may be you are making progress, you’re just in the adjustment phase. Stick with it, you. If you want it, it WILL be so, SO worth it when you get there.

Let’s say you’ve been at this game for a while now. You might have even been listening to <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/gb/podcast/creative-introvert-podcast/id1195158914" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> The Creative Introvert Podcast</a> since it began, way back at the start of 2017. You might have even been doing some of the stuff I’ve been recommending. Taking action, journalling, finding a supportive community, showing your work. But. Things aren’t moving as quickly as you hoped. In fact, they’ve stalled. They might look like they’re even moving backwards, like when planets go into what astrologers call ‘retrograde’. Planets never actually go backwards by the way, it just looks like it does from our perspective. And that’s actually a great analogy here: I promise you, no matter what it looks like, you’re not going backwards. Everything that happens is more data. More information for you to use and move forward real soon. But I’ll admit it might look bad. <a href="https://www.thecreativeintrovert.com/the-creative-introvert-academy/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> </a> You might have set a goal months ago, a SMART goal: it was specific, measurable, actionable, realistic AND time bound. Or so you thought. That deadline has come and gone and you haven’t achieved that goal. No doubt, that sucks. As an avid goal setter, I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve missed the mark. And it sucks. It does. I won’t try and sugar coat that one. The only upside - and actually, it’s quite a big upside - is that in every case, in every missed goal or disappointment - I learned something or I grew in some way - more confidence, more skilis, or just something totally batshit crazy came out of left field. So yes, there’s the silver lining. But more importantly, what are those lessons that we can learn in our failures, disappointments and mistakes? Here are a collection of my lessons, that I’ve learned from these times, and hopefully they can help you, should you find that you’re not making progress. You can return to this checklist and get to the root of the problem that’s playing out, and hopefully find yourself an antidote to your deceleration.   1) You aren’t clear enough This is something that happens a lot to some of us creatives, particularly the highly imaginative, intuitive types. You might be an INFP on the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator. The Mystical Dreamer, if you’ve taken my <a href="https://www.thecreativeintrovert.com/pexcontentslider/your-creative-type/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> Creative Type Quiz</a>. You love big pictures. Thinking big lights you up - the details can come later, right? Well… Sometimes, my fellow dreamers, we need to buckle down and actually look at those pesky details. We need clarity. I know that can seem boring, even redundant - I mean, we know the future is uncertain, don’t we? Doesn’t art, true creativity, originate from the darkness? The problem with this blurry thinking - or feeling - is that it makes focussing taking action and measuring our results really, really hard. How can you tell you aren’t making progress if you don’t know what the fuck you want?? You don’t get into a taxi without telling the driver where to go. Or get into an Uber without setting the destination first, I guess. You certainly can’t yell at the driver for not taking you to where you want to go if they don’t know. There are times for winging it, and going with the flow, but there are also times for getting super clear on what you want to do, be or have - and only THEN can you be a fair judge of where you’re at. Check out episodes: <a href="https://www.thecreativeintrovert.com/cip004/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">How To Set Kinesthetic Goals</a> <a href="https://www.thecreativeintrovert.com/cip043-goal-getting-introverts-part-1/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> Goal Getting For Introverts Part 1</a> <a href="https://www.thecreativeintrovert.com/goal-getting-for-introverts-part-2/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> Goal Getting For Introverts Part 2</a> <a href="https://www.thecreativeintrovert.com/7-reasons-you-might-not-be-reaching-your-creative-goals/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> 7 Reasons You Might Not Be Achieving Your Creative Goals</a>   2) You aren’t eating a frog a day Frog? You want us to eat frogs!? Well, apparently they’re a delicacy but I do want to respect the vegans out there and stress the point that this frog is indeed metaphorical. It’s actually a reference to the book, ‘<a href="https://amzn.to/2vW77j0" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Eat That Frog</a>’ by Brian Tracy, personal-development extraordinaire, who talks about an old saying that if the first thing you do each morning is to eat a live frog, you’ll have the satisfaction of knowing that it's probably the worst thing you'll do all day. "The idea is to use ‘eat that frog’ as a metaphor for tackling the most challenging task of your day - the one you are most likely to procrastinate on, but also probably the one that can have the greatest positive impact on your life - Eat That Frog shows you how to zero in on these critical tasks and organise your day. You’ll not only get more done faster, but get the right things done." Other great books on this are <a href="https://amzn.to/2OvOw5b" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">The ONE Thing</a> by Gary Keller, a book I both praise AND attack - and I’ll link to my <a href="https://www.thecreativeintrovert.com/29-lessons-one-thing-gary-keller-book-review/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> reasons for that here</a> - but I can sum this up here: You need to get suuuuper clear on your priorities here. And really, I mean priority - your ONE thing. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, and again, but having one point of focus doesn’t mean you don’t do anything else - it just means it’s the one thing you don’t sacrifice FOR anything else. Got it? So for the last 8 months my book has been my frog, and I’m happy to say is at first-ish draft stage - but I certainly haven’t been doing ONLY this. What I’ve done is made it my daily priority. I’ve promised myself one hour, in the morning, in a coffee shop, 5 days a week. That’s it. That’s my ONE thing. The deal I’ve made with myself is that NOTHING can get in the way of that. And I won’t lie - it’s been tough. And it wa much tougher before I got clearer on this priority. When writing a book was just one of my many dreams, it simply wasn’t happening. Of course more urgent or more exciting things took precedent, and of course the book got delayed. As soon as I committed to this small but consistent daily book-writing session, I started making PROGRESS. So go on, eat that frog!   3) You’re sabotaging yourself Oh boy this is a bugger. Self-sabotage. We all have our reasons as to why we sabotage ourselves: just know that this is SUPER common and SUPER annoying. I cover this more in depth in episode <a href="https://www.thecreativeintrovert.com/cip037-self-sabotage-excuses-procrastination-oh/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> #37: Self Sabotage, Excuses and Procrastination (Oh My)</a> but since recording that episode, I’ve learned a bit more about my own inner saboteur, so I’ll share some more advanced level stuff with you now. Like… What if you saw your inner saboteur as a friend? A shitty friend may be, but one with the best intentions. I like using the analogy of Chuckie in the Rugrats: he was such a wet blanket! And I always had to pretend to be him if we played Rugrats because of the hair. As annoying as he was, Chuckie was only ever trying to protect his best buddy Tommy and the others. As creatives, we are constantly taking risks. We risk people judging us, we risk rejection, we risk wasting time, energy, money, resources, we risk letting ourselves and others down. <a href="https://www.thecreativeintrovert.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/08/17-of-chuckie-finsters-best-lines-on-rugrats-2-2455-1445484864-5_dblbig.jpg" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> </a> If I’m being really honest with you: these aren’t just risks. They’re CERTAINTIES, if you decide to play this game for real. The more we play the game, the bigger the risks get. Wouldn’t it be safer, to stay at level 1? Chuckie would likely say yes. And I bet your inner saboteur has the smart idea to keep you at level 1, where it’s safe and you can handle the bad guys. If you aren’t making progress, there’s a good chance you’re payng too much attention to your inner scaredy cat - and I want to encourage you to listen to your inner courageous cat! Yeah. May be make a wrist band: What Would Courageous Cat Do? Of course, this doesn’t mean ignoring the voice that keeps you safe, it just means practising both. See what happens when you listen to the one that sounds brave, even a bit foolhardy. Just see what happens. Again, even if you risk something and fall on your face, you’ll have learned something. You’ll know what didn’t work, and you’ll have a clearer idea of what to do next time. That is in fact moving forward, making much more progress than you would have done if you’d have stayed stuck where you were, with Chuckie your inner saboteur.   4) Someone else is sabotaging you In the words of Julia Cameron, "Crazymakers are those personalities that create storm centers. They are often charismatic, frequently charming… and for the creative person in their vicinity, they are enormously destructive.” Crazymakers are the people in your life who, even if they also mean well, are just keeping you small, tired and fed up. Naturally, if you’re trying to make serious progress in your creative career or any life area for that matter, and someone close to you isn’t… it’s going to be hard for them. You’re constantly highlighting where they’re falling short. And naturally, they’re going to want to take you down to their level, even if they aren’t aware of it consciously. I had a crazy maker in my life once, and my biggest mistake was letting it go on for so long. In hindsight, I can see that she didn’t mean to be stifling, and I’ll admit I played my role in feeding her dependency. I let myself stay down, stay small, in order to accomodate her ego and be a classic people pleaser. Can you relate? If so, it might be time to start getting super clear on your boundaries. If your crazy maker is always dragging you out to the pub and encouraging you to stay out and get another round in, and then the next day you’re too hungover to get up early and work on that creative project… then you know what you have to do. Check your prioriities, and make it clear. Be honest with yourself, and with them. I’ll link to my favourite episode on boundaries and handling <a href="https://www.thecreativeintrovert.com/cip015/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">crazy makers here.</a>   5) You don’t care enough Oooh, this is a harsh one. I kind of hated this lesson when I first learned it, and trust me I’ve had to learn it a few times before I softened to it and actually learned to accept it. There are some things in life we think we want. And may be we do want them, a good amount. But. They come with sacrifices. Oh yeah - I might have forgot to tell you that one. This stuff we want? Our creative dreams and goals? They come at a sacrifice. Which is totally fine, in fact it’s a really good deal, when we want something enough and we’re willing to pay the price. But… if the price is higher than our desire? Agh. You’ve got yourself a problem. I experienced this in my bout as a pet portrait artist. You’ve probably heard bits of this story before, but in short: my dream, what I thought I wanted, to draw people’s fur babies for a living, sounded SO great! Until I started doing it. I realised quite quickly that for me, it was destroying my love for what was my favourite past-time, like a sledgehammer to fine china. I realised it was something I loved, but the price to pay - it wasn’t worth it. Whereas web design or writing or podcasting or teaching or coaching - well, those are things I love just as much, but the price I pay is lower, much lower in some cases, than what I paid to bend over backwards for my dickish portrait clients. And that’s just me: we all have our price. What it costs me to stand up on stage and speak might be a way higher price in relation to it’s value to you, and you might find the price of dealing with your illustration clients way lower than I did. We ALL different. The question you need to ask yourself in the most ladylike way possible is: WHAT’S YOUR FLAVOUR OF SH*T SANDWICH? In short: do you want it enough, and if so - what are you willing to pay? If you’re not willing to pay the price, don’t be surprised if your so-called dreams aren’t being realised.   6) You are making progress, you just don’t know it I have one last analogy for you: we’re like thermostats. Not super original, but stick with me. We’re like thermostats in that we adjust: we have our goals, we make plans, and can only find out they’re stupid when we start taking action. At which point we adjust. That’s what everyone who’s ever done anything interesting will tell you: they learnt as they went along. They adjusted. They course corrected. Sure, they did their research, sucked up some know-how, asked lots of questions but at some point: they said screw it, I’ll do it. Richard Branson ACTUALLY said that. So may be you are making progress, you’re just in the adjustment phase. Stick with it, you. If you want it, it WILL be so, SO worth it when you get there.

CIP069: Why Aren't I Making Progress?

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