THE FIRST EPISODE IN OUR MULTI-EPISODE SEASON FINALE!With music being so integral to this podcast, running in parallel to the conversations and correspondence we feature, it’s not surprising that the conversations themselves start to sound like music in their own way. They flow like the components of a song. Verses, choruses (etc) repeating. The more you listen to these stories, the more you can’t help but see their intersections—where they share space, and where they diverge. We’ve weaved together a lot of conversations, but nothing we’ve ever released has ever been at this scale or scope.The idea is to expand to a larger dialog than ever before. To extend our “choir,” that cloud of witnesses, beyond any statement we’ve ever been able to construct. These stories will be told over more than a single episode, with different people having more or less to say at different points along the path.“Verse,” this first part, is the one dealing with our points of origin. It’s not about where we are now, or even how things crumbled to get us there. It’s about where we came from, and how that shaped everything.

THE FIRST EPISODE IN OUR MULTI-EPISODE SEASON FINALE!With music being so integral to this podcast, running in parallel to the conversations and correspondence we feature, it’s not surprising that the conversations themselves start to sound like music in their own way. They flow like the components of a song. Verses, choruses (etc) repeating. The more you listen to these stories, the more you can’t help but see their intersections—where they share space, and where they diverge. We’ve weaved together a lot of conversations, but nothing we’ve ever released has ever been at this scale or scope.The idea is to expand to a larger dialog than ever before. To extend our “choir,” that cloud of witnesses, beyond any statement we’ve ever been able to construct. These stories will be told over more than a single episode, with different people having more or less to say at different points along the path.“Verse,” this first part, is the one dealing with our points of origin. It’s not about where we are now, or even how things crumbled to get us there. It’s about where we came from, and how that shaped everything.

s3e13: Verse

This week follows our previous episode, not just in sequence, but in substance. It speaks over all of the various stories we’ve been featuring for nearly two years now. Speaks to the process they each give voice to. Like a refrain.As with our previous episode, Reprise, this episode specifically roots us in the sciences of process.So from a conversation with a clinical psychologist, we now turn to a conversation with a molecular biologist. From the cycles and rhythms of growth and how they sit alongside trauma, to now probe deeper… smaller… into our very cells. To find what they have to say about release, surrender, context, and adaptation. How we’re sustained by the things we let go of along with the new things we grasp.In commitment to process, the patterns of evolution emerge — weaving unities within diversities, and teaching us about how our experience changes us.This conversation features Elizabeth Jeffries. She’s a PhD laboratory scientist and science writer, and she’s just released a book called, “Through the Kaleidoscope: How Exploring Cell Biology Transforms My Relationship With God.” You can find more about the book and Elizabeth at her website.

This week follows our previous episode, not just in sequence, but in substance. It speaks over all of the various stories we’ve been featuring for nearly two years now. Speaks to the process they each give voice to. Like a refrain.As with our previous episode, Reprise, this episode specifically roots us in the sciences of process.So from a conversation with a clinical psychologist, we now turn to a conversation with a molecular biologist. From the cycles and rhythms of growth and how they sit alongside trauma, to now probe deeper… smaller… into our very cells. To find what they have to say about release, surrender, context, and adaptation. How we’re sustained by the things we let go of along with the new things we grasp.In commitment to process, the patterns of evolution emerge — weaving unities within diversities, and teaching us about how our experience changes us. This conversation features Elizabeth Jeffries. She’s a PhD laboratory scientist and science writer, and she’s just released a book called, “Through the Kaleidoscope: How Exploring Cell Biology Transforms My Relationship With God.” You can find more about the book and Elizabeth at her <a href="https://ElizabethJeffriesWrites.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">website</a>.

s3e12: Refrain (A Meditation for Your Cells)

It’s easy to view our growth as a separate thing from our grief.…Impatiently, we might perceive the process of grief as something that we need to “get through” so that we can “move on” to growth… But in reality, growth is happening alongside grief as we adapt.There’s some comfort to be found there. People a bit further down the line will tell you how much they learned in grief. And if you’ve had a harder season, where grief has seemed all-encompassing, it’s good to know that you aren’t in stasis. You are still in process and progress. You are still moving forward.AND AS WITH SO MANY OTHER THINGS, VIEWING ‘DECONSTRUCTION &amp; RECONSTRUCTION’ AS SOME SORT OF BINARY ISN’T ULTIMATELY HELPFUL.

It’s easy to view our growth as a separate thing from our grief.…Impatiently, we might perceive the process of grief as something that we need to “get through” so that we can “move on” to growth… But in reality, growth is happening alongside grief as we adapt.There’s some comfort to be found there. People a bit further down the line will tell you how much they learned in grief. And if you’ve had a harder season, where grief has seemed all-encompassing, it’s good to know that you aren’t in stasis. You are still in process and progress. You are still moving forward.AND AS WITH SO MANY OTHER THINGS, VIEWING ‘DECONSTRUCTION &amp; RECONSTRUCTION’ AS SOME SORT OF BINARY ISN’T ULTIMATELY HELPFUL.

s3e11: Reprise

One of the key benefits to embodiment is that it’s substantial by definition.In a room (sanctuary) or a nation where many people are prone to detachment and disembodiment, a lot of hollow ideas and promises get promoted as answers, and hope is placed in vapor. A community in which on-the-ground advocacy is discouraged while prayers for intervention abound is no place in which to be fully alive.Maybe YOU are the miracle you need to see. This episode, we continue with a meditation not only on embodiment, but groundedness, real advocacy, and life beyond the limiting narratives and labels placed upon us.

One of the key benefits to embodiment is that it’s substantial by definition.In a room (sanctuary) or a nation where many people are prone to detachment and disembodiment, a lot of hollow ideas and promises get promoted as answers, and hope is placed in vapor. A community in which on-the-ground advocacy is discouraged while prayers for intervention abound is no place in which to be fully alive.Maybe YOU are the miracle you need to see. This episode, we continue with a meditation not only on embodiment, but groundedness, real advocacy, and life beyond the limiting narratives and labels placed upon us.

s3e10: Come Home (To Your Body) Part 2

Some of the most resonant stories in our culture are about either finding or coming back to a place where you belong. Home. But the ultimate home to come home to is yourself.Part 1 (of 2) in our return to the theme of full embodiment, which is central to recovery and reconstruction.

Some of the most resonant stories in our culture are about either finding or coming back to a place where you belong. Home. But the ultimate home to come home to is yourself.Part 1 (of 2) in our return to the theme of full embodiment, which is central to recovery and reconstruction.

s3e9: Come Home (To Your Body) Part 1

There’s a Sufi proverb from Rumi which says,“I SEARCHED FOR GOD AND FOUND ONLY MYSELF. I SEARCHED FOR MYSELF AND FOUND ONLY GOD.”Whatever a ‘divine spark’ might be, it seems to be carried within our humanity. And yet many of us are healing from teachings and communities which suggested otherwise—which sought to divide us from ourselves, and to keep all the good things in external compartments… So we couldn’t own them. Couldn’t feel their affirmation or their embrace or their warmth.Much of Christianity loves to talk about something like incarnation, but only in the sense of what it might say about God. It misses the equally scandalous dynamic of what such a concept might say… about us.It was Jesus who said something about not building a house on sand, where the foundations could not handle a storm. When the storms come, often the unfortunate inadequacies of our constructs and - let’s say our sheltering, are laid bare. From within those shelters, we knew the roles we were required to perform. We knew how we were meant to appear. Many of us carried all of it out meticulously.But the storms came. And the masks we wore came down with the rest of the house.And yet, free of the illusion of those shelters protecting us, a burden is lifted. We sense the things that were there all along, however buried, or stifled or censored in us. And in rediscovering the things that were hiding in plain sight, creativity is ignited to build something better, with all of our resources intact.

There’s a Sufi proverb from Rumi which says,“I SEARCHED FOR GOD AND FOUND ONLY MYSELF. I SEARCHED FOR MYSELF AND FOUND ONLY GOD.”Whatever a ‘divine spark’ might be, it seems to be carried within our humanity. And yet many of us are healing from teachings and communities which suggested otherwise—which sought to divide us from ourselves, and to keep all the good things in external compartments… So we couldn’t own them. Couldn’t feel their affirmation or their embrace or their warmth.Much of Christianity loves to talk about something like incarnation, but only in the sense of what it might say about God. It misses the equally scandalous dynamic of what such a concept might say… about us.It was Jesus who said something about not building a house on sand, where the foundations could not handle a storm. When the storms come, often the unfortunate inadequacies of our constructs and - let’s say our sheltering, are laid bare. From within those shelters, we knew the roles we were required to perform. We knew how we were meant to appear. Many of us carried all of it out meticulously.But the storms came. And the masks we wore came down with the rest of the house.And yet, free of the illusion of those shelters protecting us, a burden is lifted. We sense the things that were there all along, however buried, or stifled or censored in us. And in rediscovering the things that were hiding in plain sight, creativity is ignited to build something better, with all of our resources intact.

s3e8: Plain Sight

Reconstruction is complicated. The length of the process we’re in can sometimes leave us longing for simpler times, or at least more simplistic ways of seeing the world. Not so much in missing the ideas themselves that we used to hold, but in nostalgia for that sense of clarity we used to feel (or think we felt) while holding them.It’s not the same for everyone, but there’s a particular tension which can exist when you find yourself A) no longer attached to these former certainties, and yet B) missing the confidence and sense of self they gave you. You can change or lose your theology all day long, but it’s the former sense of mission and identity and purpose going away that really tends to be more difficult. And the gravity of that is something that comes and goes in waves.I guess the main point here is simple: Reconstruction is not all happy dances and lightness of being. Plenty of the process will take us into the shadows.If we don’t deal with trauma, we will perpetuate the cycle of it, weaponize it, and even develop an unhealthy dependence on it for a new identity, living only from our pain… But even in dealing with it, trauma can have a way of fighting back. It can rebound, it can cling, it can trigger.It can even leave you longing for those simpler days when the world was black and white.The process of reconstruction is so worth it. But it’s tough. It can be frustrating. And it’s hard work.

Reconstruction is complicated. The length of the process we’re in can sometimes leave us longing for simpler times, or at least more simplistic ways of seeing the world. Not so much in missing the ideas themselves that we used to hold, but in nostalgia for that sense of clarity we used to feel (or think we felt) while holding them.It’s not the same for everyone, but there’s a particular tension which can exist when you find yourself A) no longer attached to these former certainties, and yet B) missing the confidence and sense of self they gave you. You can change or lose your theology all day long, but it’s the former sense of mission and identity and purpose going away that really tends to be more difficult. And the gravity of that is something that comes and goes in waves.I guess the main point here is simple: Reconstruction is not all happy dances and lightness of being. Plenty of the process will take us into the shadows.If we don’t deal with trauma, we will perpetuate the cycle of it, weaponize it, and even develop an unhealthy dependence on it for a new identity, living only from our pain… But even in dealing with it, trauma can have a way of fighting back. It can rebound, it can cling, it can trigger.It can even leave you longing for those simpler days when the world was black and white.The process of reconstruction is so worth it. But it’s tough. It can be frustrating. And it’s hard work.

s3e7: Death With Benefits

Many loves might come and go from your life, but you’re kinda stuck with yourself. Partners, friends, even family members… any time there is loss, the dust settles, and there you are. And that being the case, for those of us with some toxic theology and religiosity in our backgrounds, one of the most important things to grasp might be this: You aren’t tarnished. You aren’t hopelessly broken. You aren’t born guilty and somehow cosmically at fault for death and entropy itself.You’re just a person. You delight, you suffer, you survive, and hopefully, you love. A lot.You didn’t choose any of this. You just have to choose what you do with it.And whether you’re reconstructing inside or outside of faith, that’s a liberating thing to learn and experience. In gain or in loss, in times of clarity and times of everything being a blur, you are a compass.And you decide what that means, and where it points you.

Many loves might come and go from your life, but you’re kinda stuck with yourself. Partners, friends, even family members… any time there is loss, the dust settles, and there you are. And that being the case, for those of us with some toxic theology and religiosity in our backgrounds, one of the most important things to grasp might be this: You aren’t tarnished. You aren’t hopelessly broken. You aren’t born guilty and somehow cosmically at fault for death and entropy itself.You’re just a person. You delight, you suffer, you survive, and hopefully, you love. A lot.You didn’t choose any of this. You just have to choose what you do with it.And whether you’re reconstructing inside or outside of faith, that’s a liberating thing to learn and experience. In gain or in loss, in times of clarity and times of everything being a blur, you are a compass.And you decide what that means, and where it points you.

s3e6: Valentines Day

are you tempted to believe that you don’t have a choiceyou’ve been screaming off your head and now you’ve lost your voicethat you inherited the curse and everything your daddy said compounding like a chorus or the interest on your debtand it’s not funny how momentum can tell a lie to your face and before you know it there’s a bet on every horse in the race and sunk costs are loading up your gunit wasn’t wasted timenot a wasted dime or a tearit’s such a sweet reliefsuch a good, good grief to get hereno hills on which to die no reason and no rhyme just chaos coming down and the meaning we assignand that’s not nothing oh it’s kind of everythingit’s the scars that i can finger it’s a song that i can sing it’s the way her hair falls around her facefor every season there’s a burning sun breaking throughit puts the shadows underneath your feet if you moveto the rhythm of its crashing love

are you tempted to believe that you don’t have a choice you’ve been screaming off your head and now you’ve lost your voicethat you inherited the curse and everything your daddy said compounding like a chorus or the interest on your debtand it’s not funny how momentum can tell a lie to your face and before you know it there’s a bet on every horse in the race and sunk costs are loading up your gunit wasn’t wasted time not a wasted dime or a tear it’s such a sweet relief such a good, good grief to get hereno hills on which to die no reason and no rhyme just chaos coming down and the meaning we assignand that’s not nothing oh it’s kind of everything it’s the scars that i can finger it’s a song that i can sing it’s the way her hair falls around her facefor every season there’s a burning sun breaking through it puts the shadows underneath your feet if you move to the rhythm of its crashing love

s3e5: Good Grief

There's knowing we need change... and then there's boldly moving into it.In the process of our Becoming, we take on new space, which gives way to new substance… which is only possible from within that new space.Five considerations for this episode and its conversations:1) The false promises of fundamentalism are still false promises outside of it. And it can be all too easy for fundamentalism to merely adapt and take on a new form, tricking us into clinging to it even longer in the process.2) There’s probably more fear and binary thinking to unpack than we might have assumed would follow us out.3) Maybe the truly renewed mind is simply one which can make a little more room.4) Being part of a solution on the other side is more complicated than we’re used to celebrating, though the work is no less meaningful.And 5) Maybe, if eyes are open, there is opportunity where we’ve been a part of causing pain – so that our regret and our redemption might even share a property line.

There's knowing we need change... and then there's boldly moving into it.In the process of our Becoming, we take on new space, which gives way to new substance… which is only possible from within that new space.Five considerations for this episode and its conversations:1) The false promises of fundamentalism are still false promises outside of it. And it can be all too easy for fundamentalism to merely adapt and take on a new form, tricking us into clinging to it even longer in the process.2) There’s probably more fear and binary thinking to unpack than we might have assumed would follow us out.3) Maybe the truly renewed mind is simply one which can make a little more room.4) Being part of a solution on the other side is more complicated than we’re used to celebrating, though the work is no less meaningful.And 5) Maybe, if eyes are open, there is opportunity where we’ve been a part of causing pain – so that our regret and our redemption might even share a property line.

s3e4: State Change

Recording &amp; compiling conversations about spiritual de/reconstruction, curating them by topic, and releasing them in episodes. Let’s stop having detached debates on social media and really talk.

For the first two seasons, the theme music leading into the episode overview and program calls was on point.  It really set the mood.  Hearing the lead-in music this new season has really made it hard for me to want to listen to this season’s episodes.  I’m sure it’s just my sensibilities but going from the fast paced jam session music to talking about grief in all its myriad details is kind of a hard transition for me to make.  I actually really LOVED this show!

What Happened??

Just what I need

The Airing of Grief

Coming of age is hard enough without a religious culture feeding you the narrative that you are... somehow... especially defective.But what if the burden of words and ideas that you were forced to live under were lies? What if they denied you your humanity? And what if shedding them meant life and love and liberation?What if coming into the light of day as fully embodied was your victory and not your defeat?What if you are as good as you have always been?Our second episode of season 2 delves into the shedding of religious identity baggage and repression. It is a story of innocence stolen… and rediscovered. 

Coming of age is hard enough without a religious culture feeding you the narrative that you are... somehow... especially defective.But what if the burden of words and ideas that you were forced to live under were lies? What if they denied you your humanity? And what if shedding them meant life and love and liberation?What if coming into the light of day as fully embodied was your victory and not your defeat?What if you are as good as you have always been?Our second episode of season 2 delves into the shedding of religious identity baggage and repression. It is a story of innocence stolen… and rediscovered.

s2e2: As Good As You Have Always Been

This episode is one that spans many issues and covers an incredible amount of ground thematically.It is a story of childhood disconnection and fragmentation which detaches a person from any confident sense of self. It is a story of the resulting search for identity that can cause a person to place herself in the hands of abusive authorities and institutions. The need for approval, to have purpose, to be accepted, to be closer, to be ENOUGH... all of these things exploited by a system which seeks to keep us from reconnecting to who we were before our fragmentation ever set in. A system which just wants us performing to its expectations.But this is also a story of learning to see the world through your own eyes. A story of coming back from the enticing manipulation which causes us to see ourselves as human doings rather than human beings.

This episode is one that spans many issues and covers an incredible amount of ground thematically.It is a story of childhood disconnection and fragmentation which detaches a person from any confident sense of self. It is a story of the resulting search for identity that can cause a person to place herself in the hands of abusive authorities and institutions. The need for approval, to have purpose, to be accepted, to be closer, to be ENOUGH... all of these things exploited by a system which seeks to keep us from reconnecting to who we were before our fragmentation ever set in. A system which just wants us performing to its expectations.But this is also a story of learning to see the world through your own eyes. A story of coming back from the enticing manipulation which causes us to see ourselves as human doings rather than human beings.

s2e17: Enough

Community can be found in the strangest of places. When religion falls short of its aims, we might find relational depth –and even "congregation"– where we least expect those things... Maybe even in arenas that we've specifically been taught to fear or to treat with skepticism.In the church, when we realize that truth and beauty can exist outside of the constraints and compartments we've allowed for it, many of us run. We run from the implications of having found meaning where we weren't supposed to. We clear out. We shut down. Anything to keep ourselves from being "corrupted" by that influence. We all know instinctively that resonance shapes us and informs who we are, and so many of us avoid the very connection and intimacy we so desperately need whenever the source is unfamiliar.But though context can shift, content doesn't. Substance is what it is. And so, beyond the walls we prop up to stay safe... beyond our exclusivity and skepticism... beyond all of the parameters rooted in fear... and beyond the familiar ease and comfort of being thought of as "on the inside"... the margins beckon.It turns out that the Light is brighter than we've been told. It can't be contained. The language we've always valued still has its place, and the ideal community we've always desired can easily take on new dimensions in a new environment.And that's why the promises made to us by our faith communities may ultimately find real traction "out there" in the real world. This week's podcast draws from seven different voices to weave a conversation about all of these things and more. OUR THIRD EPISODE DANCES WITH THE THEMES AND IDEAS OF 'THE SPIRIT BEARS THE CURSE' – THE THIRD TRACK (AND FIRST SINGLE) ON DEREK WEBB'S NEW ALBUM, 'FINGERS CROSSED.' THE SONG ITSELF ALSO PROVIDES THE ENTIRE MUSICAL AND SONIC BACKDROP TO ANY PHONE CALLS AND CORRESPONDENCE WE ARE FEATURING THIS WEEK.ABOUT SEASON ONE: Derek Webb has described his new album, Fingers Crossed, as 'a tale of two divorces.' Our first season of The Airing of Grief Podcast dives into the album track-by-track, with each song providing the themes and musical backdrop for an accompanying episode. Whether you're new to Derek's music or a longtime fan, the topics discussed and the stories of our guests should prove themselves to be a compelling journey for any listener. Wherever you might find yourself on issues of faith or spirituality, there is room at the table for all of these voices to be heard and celebrated. Raw, real, and authentic, The Airing of Grief strives to be a safe place to strip away the pretense and really listen to the heart.

Community can be found in the strangest of places. When religion falls short of its aims, we might find relational depth –and even "congregation"– where we least expect those things... Maybe even in arenas that we've specifically been taught to fear or to treat with skepticism.In the church, when we realize that truth and beauty can exist outside of the constraints and compartments we've allowed for it, many of us run. We run from the implications of having found meaning where we weren't supposed to. We clear out. We shut down. Anything to keep ourselves from being "corrupted" by that influence. We all know instinctively that resonance shapes us and informs who we are, and so many of us avoid the very connection and intimacy we so desperately need whenever the source is unfamiliar.But though context can shift, content doesn't. Substance is what it is. And so, beyond the walls we prop up to stay safe... beyond our exclusivity and skepticism... beyond all of the parameters rooted in fear... and beyond the familiar ease and comfort of being thought of as "on the inside"... the margins beckon.It turns out that the Light is brighter than we've been told. It can't be contained. The language we've always valued still has its place, and the ideal community we've always desired can easily take on new dimensions in a new environment.And that's why the promises made to us by our faith communities may ultimately find real traction "out there" in the real world. This week's podcast draws from seven different voices to weave a conversation about all of these things and more. <h3>OUR THIRD EPISODE DANCES WITH THE THEMES AND IDEAS OF 'THE SPIRIT BEARS THE CURSE' – THE THIRD TRACK (AND FIRST SINGLE) ON DEREK WEBB'S NEW ALBUM, 'FINGERS CROSSED.' </h3><h3>THE SONG ITSELF ALSO PROVIDES THE ENTIRE MUSICAL AND SONIC BACKDROP TO ANY PHONE CALLS AND CORRESPONDENCE WE ARE FEATURING THIS WEEK.</h3><h3>ABOUT SEASON ONE: </h3>Derek Webb has described his new album, Fingers Crossed, as 'a tale of two divorces.' Our first season of The Airing of Grief Podcast dives into the album track-by-track, with each song providing the themes and musical backdrop for an accompanying episode. Whether you're new to Derek's music or a longtime fan, the topics discussed and the stories of our guests should prove themselves to be a compelling journey for any listener. Wherever you might find yourself on issues of faith or spirituality, there is room at the table for all of these voices to be heard and celebrated. Raw, real, and authentic, The Airing of Grief strives to be a safe place to strip away the pretense and really listen to the heart.

Ep 03: The Spirit Bears the Curse

Decisions. Repercussions.Actions. Results. Choices. Consequences. The failure... and the fallout. The biggest surprise that comes with wrecking your life as you knew it is often how eerily quiet the aftermath can be. You almost wish everything about it would be more epic – that your existence could be scored and edited like a film, or that your external world would feel more visceral and more loud to echo the turmoil inside... But pain can be so very silent. And suffering so very magnified by the stillness imposed in time's absolute refusal to fast forward.Grief can be at its worst when it's... mundane. Things that were once vibrant and alive are gray and gone. Things that were full are hollow. The house is empty. That person can't be there to text anymore. You can no longer meet up with those people. You're no longer welcome in that place. (Or you can no longer stomach being there regardless.) Gravity catches up. It's often our failures which give us the courage to pull the Band Aid off and truly examine the wound. When you wreck everything else, you no longer have anything to lose. You start to realize that you might as well know the truth if everything is already upside-down. Fear loosens its grip when the worst case scenario has already happened, and there's no Old to cling to. Because the New is happening whether you like it or not.    What matters is that you own your part in the chaos. It's the only way to have a stake in the creation which follows it. OUR FIFTH EPISODE DANCES WITH THE THEMES AND IDEAS OF 'LOVE IS NOT A CHOICE' – THE FIFTH TRACK ON DEREK WEBB'S NEW ALBUM, 'FINGERS CROSSED.' THE SONG ITSELF ALSO PROVIDES THE ENTIRE MUSICAL AND SONIC BACKDROP TO ANY PHONE CALLS AND CORRESPONDENCE WE ARE FEATURING THIS WEEK.ABOUT SEASON ONE: Derek Webb has described his new album, Fingers Crossed, as 'a tale of two divorces.' Our first season of The Airing of Grief Podcast dives into the album track-by-track, with each song providing the themes and musical backdrop for an accompanying episode. Whether you're new to Derek's music or a longtime fan, the topics discussed and the stories of our guests should prove themselves to be a compelling journey for any listener. Wherever you might find yourself on issues of faith or spirituality, there is room at the table for all of these voices to be heard and celebrated. Raw, real, and authentic, The Airing of Grief strives to be a safe place to strip away the pretense and really listen to the heart.

Decisions. Repercussions. Actions. Results.  Choices. Consequences. The failure... and the fallout. The biggest surprise that comes with wrecking your life as you knew it is often how eerily quiet the aftermath can be. You almost wish everything about it would be more epic – that your existence could be scored and edited like a film, or that your external world would feel more visceral and more loud to echo the turmoil inside... But pain can be so very silent. And suffering so very magnified by the stillness imposed in time's absolute refusal to fast forward.Grief can be at its worst when it's... mundane. Things that were once vibrant and alive are gray and gone. Things that were full are hollow. The house is empty. That person can't be there to text anymore. You can no longer meet up with those people. You're no longer welcome in that place. (Or you can no longer stomach being there regardless.) Gravity catches up. It's often our failures which give us the courage to pull the Band Aid off and truly examine the wound. When you wreck everything else, you no longer have anything to lose. You start to realize that you might as well know the truth if everything is already upside-down. Fear loosens its grip when the worst case scenario has already happened, and there's no Old to cling to. Because the New is happening whether you like it or not.    What matters is that you own your part in the chaos. It's the only way to have a stake in the creation which follows it. <h3>OUR FIFTH EPISODE DANCES WITH THE THEMES AND IDEAS OF 'LOVE IS NOT A CHOICE' – THE FIFTH TRACK ON DEREK WEBB'S NEW ALBUM, 'FINGERS CROSSED.' </h3><h3>THE SONG ITSELF ALSO PROVIDES THE ENTIRE MUSICAL AND SONIC BACKDROP TO ANY PHONE CALLS AND CORRESPONDENCE WE ARE FEATURING THIS WEEK.</h3><h3>ABOUT SEASON ONE: </h3>Derek Webb has described his new album, Fingers Crossed, as 'a tale of two divorces.' Our first season of The Airing of Grief Podcast dives into the album track-by-track, with each song providing the themes and musical backdrop for an accompanying episode. Whether you're new to Derek's music or a longtime fan, the topics discussed and the stories of our guests should prove themselves to be a compelling journey for any listener. Wherever you might find yourself on issues of faith or spirituality, there is room at the table for all of these voices to be heard and celebrated. Raw, real, and authentic, The Airing of Grief strives to be a safe place to strip away the pretense and really listen to the heart.

Ep 05: Love Is Not A Choice

The loss of identity is a staggering thing, but we've learned to expect it... sometimes.We expect an identity crisis to occur around the onset of adolescence, or we expect to have a "mid-life crisis" at some point... Because we're very familiar with those sorts of transitions. They are time-honored rites of passage, and – though what takes place during those seasons remains difficult – we've learned to accept them. We even know how to make light of them and keep a sense of peace. Still, any a process of metamorphosis, newly shaping who we are, is not an easy one. Even if we know we should expect it. So how much more staggering is the unintended and unexpected identity crisis?For so many Christians experiencing doubt and grief over a loss of faith, this has become their reality. There's this new and constant companion with them – an alien presence in their lives who turns out to be themselves. Whoever they are now, anyway. And whatever they're becoming.  Knowing who you are plays a major part in giving life a sense or normalcy. As humans, we take comfort and find purpose in having a place to belong and engage, and all of that begins within, at the core of you. Where you choose to be depends on who you are, and why. But if you no longer know HOW you identify, it won't be clear WHERE you identify either. And when you lose your compass, or when your sense of self shifts in dramatic ways, the world can seem to move along, unconcerned and unaffected. For those who still feel stuck within a religious culture, it's especially difficult to have an identity crisis and not really feel there's room to change. Room to rebuild. Room for a reckoning. Many of us feel at once overwhelmed by expectations and yet isolated or closeted at the same time. We feel as though we haven't had the chance to rediscover ourselves in clinging to the shell of whoever we used to be.Nevertheless... From ground zero, from square one, from all of the constructs we ever knew being reduced to rubble... we learn how to identify in new ways.And eventually, hopefully, we reconstruct in a way which enables us to recognize ourselves again.OUR FOURTH EPISODE DANCES WITH THE THEMES AND IDEAS OF 'A TEMPEST IN A TEACUP' – THE FOURTH TRACK ON DEREK WEBB'S NEW ALBUM, 'FINGERS CROSSED.' THE SONG ITSELF ALSO PROVIDES THE ENTIRE MUSICAL AND SONIC BACKDROP TO ANY PHONE CALLS AND CORRESPONDENCE WE ARE FEATURING THIS WEEK.ABOUT SEASON ONE: Derek Webb has described his new album, Fingers Crossed, as 'a tale of two divorces.' Our first season of The Airing of Grief Podcast dives into the album track-by-track, with each song providing the themes and musical backdrop for an accompanying episode. Whether you're new to Derek's music or a longtime fan, the topics discussed and the stories of our guests should prove themselves to be a compelling journey for any listener. Wherever you might find yourself on issues of faith or spirituality, there is room at the table for all of these voices to be heard and celebrated. Raw, real, and authentic, The Airing of Grief strives to be a safe place to strip away the pretense and really listen to the heart.

The loss of identity is a staggering thing, but we've learned to expect it... sometimes.We expect an identity crisis to occur around the onset of adolescence, or we expect to have a "mid-life crisis" at some point... Because we're very familiar with those sorts of transitions. They are time-honored rites of passage, and – though what takes place during those seasons remains difficult – we've learned to accept them. We even know how to make light of them and keep a sense of peace. Still, any a process of metamorphosis, newly shaping who we are, is not an easy one. Even if we know we should expect it. So how much more staggering is the unintended and unexpected identity crisis?For so many Christians experiencing doubt and grief over a loss of faith, this has become their reality. There's this new and constant companion with them – an alien presence in their lives who turns out to be themselves. Whoever they are now, anyway. And whatever they're becoming.  Knowing who you are plays a major part in giving life a sense or normalcy. As humans, we take comfort and find purpose in having a place to belong and engage, and all of that begins within, at the core of you. Where you choose to be depends on who you are, and why. But if you no longer know HOW you identify, it won't be clear WHERE you identify either. And when you lose your compass, or when your sense of self shifts in dramatic ways, the world can seem to move along, unconcerned and unaffected. For those who still feel stuck within a religious culture, it's especially difficult to have an identity crisis and not really feel there's room to change. Room to rebuild. Room for a reckoning. Many of us feel at once overwhelmed by expectations and yet isolated or closeted at the same time. We feel as though we haven't had the chance to rediscover ourselves in clinging to the shell of whoever we used to be.Nevertheless... From ground zero, from square one, from all of the constructs we ever knew being reduced to rubble... we learn how to identify in new ways.And eventually, hopefully, we reconstruct in a way which enables us to recognize ourselves again.<h3>OUR FOURTH EPISODE DANCES WITH THE THEMES AND IDEAS OF 'A TEMPEST IN A TEACUP' – THE FOURTH TRACK ON DEREK WEBB'S NEW ALBUM, 'FINGERS CROSSED.' </h3><h3>THE SONG ITSELF ALSO PROVIDES THE ENTIRE MUSICAL AND SONIC BACKDROP TO ANY PHONE CALLS AND CORRESPONDENCE WE ARE FEATURING THIS WEEK.</h3><h3>ABOUT SEASON ONE: </h3>Derek Webb has described his new album, Fingers Crossed, as 'a tale of two divorces.' Our first season of The Airing of Grief Podcast dives into the album track-by-track, with each song providing the themes and musical backdrop for an accompanying episode. Whether you're new to Derek's music or a longtime fan, the topics discussed and the stories of our guests should prove themselves to be a compelling journey for any listener. Wherever you might find yourself on issues of faith or spirituality, there is room at the table for all of these voices to be heard and celebrated. Raw, real, and authentic, The Airing of Grief strives to be a safe place to strip away the pretense and really listen to the heart.

Ep 04: A Tempest In A Teacup

The Airing of Grief Season 2 has been long and dynamic and varied. So the question arises: How do you “end” a season like this? We’re not sure you really can. So maybe this is more of a pause.We have a good amount of great calls still that would all be worth featuring in full, but none of them seems like THE final call of season 2. And maybe that’s poetic, because a tidy wrap up to something like this seems contrary to what we’ve been doing. This is bigger than any one story. Season 2 was driven by our need to diversify our voices and be more deliberate in bringing all kinds of people to the table. It’s been about the perspective which only comes from that broader spectrum, which we worked hard to chase down (and will continue to going forward). But there’s no one way to approach all that with any sense of finality. It’s difficult enough to sum any of it up and hit pause.But we can at least try.So here are some… vignettes.An array of voices in a flowing conversation – meandering together like objects in shared, resonant space. A coda to embodiment and finding ourselves within each other’s stories.

The Airing of Grief Season 2 has been long and dynamic and varied. So the question arises: How do you “end” a season like this? We’re not sure you really can. So maybe this is more of a pause.We have a good amount of great calls still that would all be worth featuring in full, but none of them seems like THE final call of season 2. And maybe that’s poetic, because a tidy wrap up to something like this seems contrary to what we’ve been doing. This is bigger than any one story. Season 2 was driven by our need to diversify our voices and be more deliberate in bringing all kinds of people to the table. It’s been about the perspective which only comes from that broader spectrum, which we worked hard to chase down (and will continue to going forward). But there’s no one way to approach all that with any sense of finality. It’s difficult enough to sum any of it up and hit pause.But we can at least try.So here are some… vignettes.An array of voices in a flowing conversation – meandering together like objects in shared, resonant space. A coda to embodiment and finding ourselves within each other’s stories.

s2e23: Singing Over Shadows

We are born innocent. But then many of us are told we’re born guilty – accountable to some choice we didn’t make, but should definitely suffer for anyway. That framework of belief weighs heavily on Christians. Those of us raised in religious environments grew up exposed to this idea of a universal condemnation, where the only way out seemed to be when the proper formulas were adhered to: the right boxes checked and the right beliefs claimed. Arbitrary technicalities of escape to match the arbitrary judgment... All of it lacking humanity and compassion.When you grow up believing you deserve eternal torment in some far off place, it becomes easier to stomach abuse at a more near and intimate level. Or at least, it's harder to believe you deserve anything better. Certainly harder to demand anything better. A steady diet of guilt and shame sets us up to endure great abuse while attempting to rationalize to ourselves how or why we’re being hurt.Christian institutions in the church and the home are rife with abuse because so much of what they promote serves to enable abusers and silence the abused. So there’s something especially beautiful about human strength and dignity in the face of all that. Defying that world and its destructive assumptions, and reclaiming one's original innocence.CHECK US OUT ON PATREON!https://www.patreon.com/theairingofgriefSEE ALL EPISODES AND ESSAYS AT OUR WEBSITE: https://www.theairingofgrief.com/

We are born innocent. But then many of us are told we’re born guilty – accountable to some choice we didn’t make, but should definitely suffer for anyway. That framework of belief weighs heavily on Christians. Those of us raised in religious environments grew up exposed to this idea of a universal condemnation, where the only way out seemed to be when the proper formulas were adhered to: the right boxes checked and the right beliefs claimed. Arbitrary technicalities of escape to match the arbitrary judgment... All of it lacking humanity and compassion.When you grow up believing you deserve eternal torment in some far off place, it becomes easier to stomach abuse at a more near and intimate level. Or at least, it's harder to believe you deserve anything better. Certainly harder to demand anything better. A steady diet of guilt and shame sets us up to endure great abuse while attempting to rationalize to ourselves how or why we’re being hurt.Christian institutions in the church and the home are rife with abuse because so much of what they promote serves to enable abusers and silence the abused. So there’s something especially beautiful about human strength and dignity in the face of all that. Defying that world and its destructive assumptions, and reclaiming one's original innocence. CHECK US OUT ON PATREON! <a href="https://www.patreon.com/theairingofgrief" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.patreon.com/theairingofgrief</a> SEE ALL EPISODES AND ESSAYS AT OUR WEBSITE: <a href="https://www.theairingofgrief.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.theairingofgrief.com/</a>

s2e12: Original Innocence

This is the third and final installment in a series of experimental discussions featuring the producers of The Airing of Grief. In this episode, Kevin shares his story – along with his answers to the "three questions" covered previously by Jamie, Derek and Jon.You can spend a long time reforming and even reconstructing faith before you ultimately encounter some of the biggest and hardest questions. Sometimes gravity takes a long time to catch up.

This is the third and final installment in a series of experimental discussions featuring the producers of The Airing of Grief. In this episode, Kevin shares his story – along with his answers to the "three questions" covered previously by Jamie, Derek and Jon.You can spend a long time reforming and even reconstructing faith before you ultimately encounter some of the biggest and hardest questions. Sometimes gravity takes a long time to catch up.

s2e22: Fragments

Pretty much everything comes to an end, but grief can be persistent.For some of us, it remains a constant companion despite how much it might subside. And that's because it's not purely an internal thing. Grief is also outside of us – something we cast like a shadow, with a shape that serves as its reminder. It tells us where we've been. It tells us who we've been. It tells us why we changed in the first place. That might be why there is peace and rest to be found on the "other side" of grief. Not because it has been beaten and thus vanished entirely, never to be thought of again... but because it provides a contrast, as our darkest times now help us to appreciate the new light we've come to find. Faith, belief, certainty, dogma. These things stick with you even if you happen to let them go. But you will decide what they mean to you, and how they shape your perspective.We don't have any power over where we come from, or what we're told to think or be. We only have power over what we choose to do with all of that. And that's enough. OUR THIRTEENTH EPISODE DANCES WITH THE THEMES AND IDEAS OF 'GOODBYE FOR NOW' – THE THIRTEENTH TRACK ON DEREK WEBB'S NEW ALBUM, FINGERS CROSSED. THE SONG ITSELF ALSO PROVIDES THE MUSICAL AND SONIC BACKDROP TO ANY PHONE CALLS AND CORRESPONDENCE WE ARE FEATURING THIS WEEK.ABOUT SEASON ONE: Derek Webb has described his new album, Fingers Crossed, as 'a tale of two divorces.' Our first season of The Airing of Grief Podcast dives into the album track-by-track, with each song providing the themes and musical backdrop for an accompanying episode. Whether you're new to Derek's music or a longtime fan, the topics discussed and the stories of our guests should prove themselves to be a compelling journey for any listener. Wherever you might find yourself on issues of faith or spirituality, there is room at the table for all of these voices to be heard and celebrated. Raw, real, and authentic, The Airing of Grief strives to be a safe place to strip away the pretense and really listen to the heart. We're a small team with big dreams. Please consider becoming a Patron to help us continue.

Pretty much everything comes to an end, but grief can be persistent.For some of us, it remains a constant companion despite how much it might subside. And that's because it's not purely an internal thing. Grief is also outside of us – something we cast like a shadow, with a shape that serves as its reminder. It tells us where we've been. It tells us who we've been. It tells us why we changed in the first place. That might be why there is peace and rest to be found on the "other side" of grief. Not because it has been beaten and thus vanished entirely, never to be thought of again... but because it provides a contrast, as our darkest times now help us to appreciate the new light we've come to find. Faith, belief, certainty, dogma. These things stick with you even if you happen to let them go. But you will decide what they mean to you, and how they shape your perspective.We don't have any power over where we come from, or what we're told to think or be. We only have power over what we choose to do with all of that. And that's enough. <h3>OUR THIRTEENTH EPISODE DANCES WITH THE THEMES AND IDEAS OF 'GOODBYE FOR NOW' – THE THIRTEENTH TRACK ON DEREK WEBB'S NEW ALBUM, FINGERS CROSSED. </h3><h3>THE SONG ITSELF ALSO PROVIDES THE MUSICAL AND SONIC BACKDROP TO ANY PHONE CALLS AND CORRESPONDENCE WE ARE FEATURING THIS WEEK.</h3><h3>ABOUT SEASON ONE: </h3>Derek Webb has described his new album, Fingers Crossed, as 'a tale of two divorces.' Our first season of The Airing of Grief Podcast dives into the album track-by-track, with each song providing the themes and musical backdrop for an accompanying episode. Whether you're new to Derek's music or a longtime fan, the topics discussed and the stories of our guests should prove themselves to be a compelling journey for any listener. Wherever you might find yourself on issues of faith or spirituality, there is room at the table for all of these voices to be heard and celebrated. Raw, real, and authentic, The Airing of Grief strives to be a safe place to strip away the pretense and really listen to the heart. We're a small team with big dreams. Please consider <a href="https://www.patreon.com/bePatron?u=8241841&amp;redirect_uri=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.theairingofgrief.com%2F" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">becoming a Patron</a> to help us continue.

Ep 13: Goodbye For Now

We continue this week with another experimental episode in the form of a conversation between longtime friends. This time, our producers Kevin and Jon explore the "three questions" introduced in our previous episode, "The Meaning We Assign." 

We continue this week with another experimental episode in the form of a conversation between longtime friends. This time, our producers Kevin and Jon explore the "three questions" introduced in our previous episode, "The Meaning We Assign."

s2e21: Personas

We find ourselves in the stark contrast. The new normal. The bottom of the pit after a long fall. We find ourselves at a time when all the dynamics we've known have shifted, and we begin to feel truly alone, whether in the vertical dimension, the horizontal dimension, or in both... It's that place of deep reckoning, where we begin to experience newfound empathy for those who've gone through it all before us. And it's the place where the seeds of newfound defiance are sown. Where we cry out from the ragged edge as if to say,"I'm still here, breathing."These feelings and experiences are especially typical at the holidays – when the rhythms of life quickly make clear to you that their patterns have been altered. And with so many traditions you've known having changed so radically, you find yourself reeling, struggling to catch up...What does everything I have experienced mean? Where is any of this even going? What's the significance? OUR SIXTH EPISODE DANCES WITH THE THEMES AND IDEAS OF 'CHASING EMPTY MANGERS' – THE SIXTH TRACK ON DEREK WEBB'S NEW ALBUM, 'FINGERS CROSSED.' THE SONG ITSELF ALSO PROVIDES THE ENTIRE MUSICAL AND SONIC BACKDROP TO ANY PHONE CALLS AND CORRESPONDENCE WE ARE FEATURING THIS WEEK.ABOUT SEASON ONE: Derek Webb has described his new album, Fingers Crossed, as 'a tale of two divorces.' Our first season of The Airing of Grief Podcast dives into the album track-by-track, with each song providing the themes and musical backdrop for an accompanying episode. Whether you're new to Derek's music or a longtime fan, the topics discussed and the stories of our guests should prove themselves to be a compelling journey for any listener. Wherever you might find yourself on issues of faith or spirituality, there is room at the table for all of these voices to be heard and celebrated. Raw, real, and authentic, The Airing of Grief strives to be a safe place to strip away the pretense and really listen to the heart.

We find ourselves in the stark contrast. The new normal. The bottom of the pit after a long fall. We find ourselves at a time when all the dynamics we've known have shifted, and we begin to feel truly alone, whether in the vertical dimension, the horizontal dimension, or in both... It's that place of deep reckoning, where we begin to experience newfound empathy for those who've gone through it all before us. And it's the place where the seeds of newfound defiance are sown. Where we cry out from the ragged edge as if to say,"I'm still here, breathing."These feelings and experiences are especially typical at the holidays – when the rhythms of life quickly make clear to you that their patterns have been altered. And with so many traditions you've known having changed so radically, you find yourself reeling, struggling to catch up...What does everything I have experienced mean? Where is any of this even going? What's the significance? <h3>OUR SIXTH EPISODE DANCES WITH THE THEMES AND IDEAS OF 'CHASING EMPTY MANGERS' – THE SIXTH TRACK ON DEREK WEBB'S NEW ALBUM, 'FINGERS CROSSED.' </h3><h3>THE SONG ITSELF ALSO PROVIDES THE ENTIRE MUSICAL AND SONIC BACKDROP TO ANY PHONE CALLS AND CORRESPONDENCE WE ARE FEATURING THIS WEEK.</h3><h3>ABOUT SEASON ONE: </h3>Derek Webb has described his new album, Fingers Crossed, as 'a tale of two divorces.' Our first season of The Airing of Grief Podcast dives into the album track-by-track, with each song providing the themes and musical backdrop for an accompanying episode. Whether you're new to Derek's music or a longtime fan, the topics discussed and the stories of our guests should prove themselves to be a compelling journey for any listener. Wherever you might find yourself on issues of faith or spirituality, there is room at the table for all of these voices to be heard and celebrated. Raw, real, and authentic, The Airing of Grief strives to be a safe place to strip away the pretense and really listen to the heart.

Ep 06: Chasing Empty Mangers

For our season premier, we pivot from where we’ve been to lean more on where we are, and where we’re headed. In three stories of birth and rebirth, we look to the attribution of our targets once we’re on the other side. This is an episode of children, of parents, and of middle space. Of generations… and emancipations.The Airing of Grief is back, folks. Season 3 is here.  

For our season premier, we pivot from where we’ve been to lean more on where we are, and where we’re headed. In three stories of birth and rebirth, we look to the attribution of our targets once we’re on the other side. This is an episode of children, of parents, and of middle space. Of generations… and emancipations.The Airing of Grief is back, folks. Season 3 is here.

s3e1: Targets

A lot of us know what it can be like to raise the sort of questions about church and faith that most other believers seem unwilling to ask... Whether we're seeking clarification over some clearly poisonous idea, or challenging the integrity of a certain theological belief, or even just bringing up a biblical "elephant in the room" that is being avoided... Many of us have seen a similar result in how Christians respond or react to us: Fear. Shame. Gaslighting. Loss of trust. Loss of position. Loss of our voice within a community... Our expressed doubts are so often not met with comfort and embrace, but instead with painful separation. It takes real courage to say something when the repercussions of that choice can so easily devastate our place within a community.It's hard knowing that within many Christian settings, "raising an issue" tends to be the same thing as "becoming a liability." To be outspoken is to be outcasted. So many of us are always counting that cost – wrestling between the things we feel need to be said, and not wanting to be a ghost or pariah. One of the strangest aspects to all of this is how many people we know who just observe the process of marginalization when those they're close to start asking questions or, God forbid, having the audacity to change. Many just watch as their friends are witch-hunted, blacklisted, and tossed aside under the pretense of "church discipline" or some other vaporous claim... And they seldom speak up on behalf of those being marginalized.There is a something to this. It's called The Bystander Effect."The Bystander Effect is a social psychological phenomenon in which individuals are less likely to offer help to a victim when other people are present. The greater the number of bystanders, the less likely it is that any one of them will help. Several factors contribute to the bystander effect, including ambiguity, cohesiveness and diffusion of responsibility." [source: wikipedia]So it's pretty astounding... Inherent to the potential abuse of someone within a community is the potential that nothing will done about the abuse because a community is present. A crowd of witnesses can actually decrease the chances of anyone else speaking up or offering help. When there are many of us, it's less likely that any of us feel obligated. Our sense of responsibility shrinks within a crowd, even as the person being hurt experiences a magnification of shame and hurt that is only possible due to that same crowd. Such a cruel irony many of us are coming from.   The Institution is a powerful one – it wields powerful concepts like "tradition" and "truth," and claims to have the market cornered in those arenas. And few have the guts to speak truth to it, or even ask it to account for itself... But we raise a glass to those who do. And we hope you find some resonant community in the voices featured in this episode. A lot more people think and feel the ways that fewer of us have the courage to articulate. But uncomfortable as it may be, it's important that we do the hard work of speaking up, and the even harder work of speaking up on behalf of others who've spoken up already.Because there are consequences that should never be experienced alone.   OUR SEVENTH EPISODE DANCES WITH THE THEMES AND IDEAS OF 'EASTER EGGS' – THE SEVENTH TRACK ON DEREK WEBB'S NEW ALBUM, 'FINGERS CROSSED.' THE SONG ITSELF ALSO PROVIDES THE ENTIRE MUSICAL AND SONIC BACKDROP TO ANY PHONE CALLS AND CORRESPONDENCE WE ARE FEATURING THIS WEEK.ABOUT SEASON ONE: Derek Webb has described his new album, Fingers Crossed, as 'a tale of two divorces.' Our first season of The Airing of Grief Podcast dives into the album track-by-track, with each song providing the themes and musical backdrop for an accompanying episode. Whether you're new to Derek's music or a longtime fan, the topics discussed and the stories of our guests should prove themselves to be a compelling journey for any listener. Wherever you might find yourself on issues of faith or spirituality, there is room at the table for all of these voices to be heard and celebrated. Raw, real, and authentic, The Airing of Grief strives to be a safe place to strip away the pretense and really listen to the heart.

A lot of us know what it can be like to raise the sort of questions about church and faith that most other believers seem unwilling to ask... Whether we're seeking clarification over some clearly poisonous idea, or challenging the integrity of a certain theological belief, or even just bringing up a biblical "elephant in the room" that is being avoided... Many of us have seen a similar result in how Christians respond or react to us: Fear. Shame. Gaslighting. Loss of trust. Loss of position. Loss of our voice within a community... Our expressed doubts are so often not met with comfort and embrace, but instead with painful separation. It takes real courage to say something when the repercussions of that choice can so easily devastate our place within a community.It's hard knowing that within many Christian settings, "raising an issue" tends to be the same thing as "becoming a liability." To be outspoken is to be outcasted. So many of us are always counting that cost – wrestling between the things we feel need to be said, and not wanting to be a ghost or pariah. One of the strangest aspects to all of this is how many people we know who just observe the process of marginalization when those they're close to start asking questions or, God forbid, having the audacity to change. Many just watch as their friends are witch-hunted, blacklisted, and tossed aside under the pretense of "church discipline" or some other vaporous claim... And they seldom speak up on behalf of those being marginalized.There is a something to this. It's called The Bystander Effect."The Bystander Effect is a social psychological phenomenon in which individuals are less likely to offer help to a victim when other people are present. The greater the number of bystanders, the less likely it is that any one of them will help. Several factors contribute to the bystander effect, including ambiguity, cohesiveness and diffusion of responsibility." [source: wikipedia]So it's pretty astounding... Inherent to the potential abuse of someone within a community is the potential that nothing will done about the abuse because a community is present. A crowd of witnesses can actually decrease the chances of anyone else speaking up or offering help. When there are many of us, it's less likely that any of us feel obligated. Our sense of responsibility shrinks within a crowd, even as the person being hurt experiences a magnification of shame and hurt that is only possible due to that same crowd. Such a cruel irony many of us are coming from.   The Institution is a powerful one – it wields powerful concepts like "tradition" and "truth," and claims to have the market cornered in those arenas. And few have the guts to speak truth to it, or even ask it to account for itself... But we raise a glass to those who do. And we hope you find some resonant community in the voices featured in this episode. A lot more people think and feel the ways that fewer of us have the courage to articulate. But uncomfortable as it may be, it's important that we do the hard work of speaking up, and the even harder work of speaking up on behalf of others who've spoken up already.Because there are consequences that should never be experienced alone.   <h3>OUR SEVENTH EPISODE DANCES WITH THE THEMES AND IDEAS OF 'EASTER EGGS' – THE SEVENTH TRACK ON DEREK WEBB'S NEW ALBUM, 'FINGERS CROSSED.' </h3><h3>THE SONG ITSELF ALSO PROVIDES THE ENTIRE MUSICAL AND SONIC BACKDROP TO ANY PHONE CALLS AND CORRESPONDENCE WE ARE FEATURING THIS WEEK.</h3><h3>ABOUT SEASON ONE: </h3>Derek Webb has described his new album, Fingers Crossed, as 'a tale of two divorces.' Our first season of The Airing of Grief Podcast dives into the album track-by-track, with each song providing the themes and musical backdrop for an accompanying episode. Whether you're new to Derek's music or a longtime fan, the topics discussed and the stories of our guests should prove themselves to be a compelling journey for any listener. Wherever you might find yourself on issues of faith or spirituality, there is room at the table for all of these voices to be heard and celebrated. Raw, real, and authentic, The Airing of Grief strives to be a safe place to strip away the pretense and really listen to the heart.

Ep 07: Easter Eggs

It's painful to be hurt.It's also painful to be the one doing the hurting. We don't talk about that second thing as much, but the process of grief that it sets in motion is ultimately the same: Denial. Anger. Bargaining. Depression. Acceptance. That's what they say are the "five stages of grief."It's a good list. But the idea that such a world-shattering process could ever be neatly labeled or easily digested really does a disservice to communicating what a mess the actual process is. Stages of grief cycle back and repeat, or a bunch can occur all at once, or in the span of minutes over a heavy conversation. It's a frantic world of emotional rock bottom.The ability to cling to hope unravels, and the desperation is tangible as a new reality sets in...The loss is happening.It cannot be stopped.It cannot be held back.Time will not reverse.Not even just this once.Time doesn't care. OUR NINTH EPISODE DANCES WITH THE THEMES AND IDEAS OF 'I WILL' – THE NINTH TRACK ON DEREK WEBB'S NEW ALBUM, 'FINGERS CROSSED.' THE SONG ITSELF ALSO PROVIDES THE ENTIRE MUSICAL AND SONIC BACKDROP TO ANY PHONE CALLS AND CORRESPONDENCE WE ARE FEATURING THIS WEEK.ABOUT SEASON ONE: Derek Webb has described his new album, Fingers Crossed, as 'a tale of two divorces.' Our first season of The Airing of Grief Podcast dives into the album track-by-track, with each song providing the themes and musical backdrop for an accompanying episode. Whether you're new to Derek's music or a longtime fan, the topics discussed and the stories of our guests should prove themselves to be a compelling journey for any listener. Wherever you might find yourself on issues of faith or spirituality, there is room at the table for all of these voices to be heard and celebrated. Raw, real, and authentic, The Airing of Grief strives to be a safe place to strip away the pretense and really listen to the heart. We're a small team with big dreams: please consider becoming a patron to help us continue.

It's painful to be hurt.It's also painful to be the one doing the hurting. We don't talk about that second thing as much, but the process of grief that it sets in motion is ultimately the same: Denial. Anger. Bargaining. Depression. Acceptance. That's what they say are the "five stages of grief."It's a good list. But the idea that such a world-shattering process could ever be neatly labeled or easily digested really does a disservice to communicating what a mess the actual process is. Stages of grief cycle back and repeat, or a bunch can occur all at once, or in the span of minutes over a heavy conversation. It's a frantic world of emotional rock bottom.The ability to cling to hope unravels, and the desperation is tangible as a new reality sets in...<h3>The loss is happening. It cannot be stopped. It cannot be held back.</h3><h3>Time will not reverse. Not even just this once. Time doesn't care. </h3><h3>OUR NINTH EPISODE DANCES WITH THE THEMES AND IDEAS OF 'I WILL' – THE NINTH TRACK ON DEREK WEBB'S NEW ALBUM, 'FINGERS CROSSED.' </h3><h3>THE SONG ITSELF ALSO PROVIDES THE ENTIRE MUSICAL AND SONIC BACKDROP TO ANY PHONE CALLS AND CORRESPONDENCE WE ARE FEATURING THIS WEEK.</h3><h3>ABOUT SEASON ONE: </h3>Derek Webb has described his new album, Fingers Crossed, as 'a tale of two divorces.' Our first season of The Airing of Grief Podcast dives into the album track-by-track, with each song providing the themes and musical backdrop for an accompanying episode. Whether you're new to Derek's music or a longtime fan, the topics discussed and the stories of our guests should prove themselves to be a compelling journey for any listener. Wherever you might find yourself on issues of faith or spirituality, there is room at the table for all of these voices to be heard and celebrated. Raw, real, and authentic, The Airing of Grief strives to be a safe place to strip away the pretense and really listen to the heart. We're a small team with big dreams: please consider <a href="https://www.patreon.com/bePatron?u=8241841&amp;redirect_uri=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.theairingofgrief.com%2F" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">becoming a patron</a> to help us continue.

Ep 09: I Will

The marginalization of any group of people is a tragedy which diminishes all of humanity. And within any marginalized community, a further tragedy occurs whenever a person embraces or conforms to her own oppression. Within the church, many women learn from the earliest age to do exactly that, denying themselves space, a voice, their own power, etc. The narratives surrounding women are strong, and can convince even the abused that their abuse is somehow justified, natural, fitting... even necessary.Fighting those narratives is costly – and yet essential – to those who suffer because of them.The Christian tradition has pretty consistently been on this wavelength of abuse, and has constructed its house within these inequalities, binaries, and compulsions.Whether one remains a person of faith or not, it's a house that needs to burn down. And many are rising from its ashes.

The marginalization of any group of people is a tragedy which diminishes all of humanity. And within any marginalized community, a further tragedy occurs whenever a person embraces or conforms to her own oppression. Within the church, many women learn from the earliest age to do exactly that, denying themselves space, a voice, their own power, etc. The narratives surrounding women are strong, and can convince even the abused that their abuse is somehow justified, natural, fitting... even necessary.Fighting those narratives is costly – and yet essential – to those who suffer because of them.The Christian tradition has pretty consistently been on this wavelength of abuse, and has constructed its house within these inequalities, binaries, and compulsions.Whether one remains a person of faith or not, it's a house that needs to burn down. And many are rising from its ashes.

s2e10: Sacred Feminine

We begin season 2, not with a story of deconstruction...But with a deconstruction of our deconstruction.A disruption to our disruption.A platform offered, and taken, only to be refused.And all of it is valid. This is a moment's pause for reflection, taking stock and orienting ourselves deliberately. Breathe. Listen. Breathe again. We dedicate this episode to good intentions... and false starts.

<h2>We begin season 2, not with a story of deconstruction...</h2>But with a deconstruction of our deconstruction. A disruption to our disruption. A platform offered, and taken, only to be refused.And all of it is valid. This is a moment's pause for reflection, taking stock and orienting ourselves deliberately. Breathe. Listen. Breathe again. <h3>We dedicate this episode to good intentions... and false starts.</h3>

s2e1: False Start

It's awkward to realize you struggle with the sort of faith you've been handed while you're actively and vocationally leading a ministry. And it’s awkward on many levels – practical, personal, not to mention spiritual.There are consequences to administering a certain worldview, and shaping people's beliefs and religious practices. And there are consequences to stepping away from those things and leaving that life behind.Whether people are affected by having been caught up in our wake... or they're affected by our waking from service to systems and beliefs we no longer find satisfying or resonant... there will be consequence. To everything.https://www.theairingofgrief.com/https://www.patreon.com/theairingofgrief

It's awkward to realize you struggle with the sort of faith you've been handed while you're actively and vocationally leading a ministry. And it’s awkward on many levels – practical, personal, not to mention spiritual.There are consequences to administering a certain worldview, and shaping people's beliefs and religious practices. And there are consequences to stepping away from those things and leaving that life behind.Whether people are affected by having been caught up in our wake... or they're affected by our waking from service to systems and beliefs we no longer find satisfying or resonant... there will be consequence. To everything. <a href="https://www.theairingofgrief.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.theairingofgrief.com/</a> <a href="https://www.patreon.com/theairingofgrief" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.patreon.com/theairingofgrief</a>

s2e11: In Our Wake

The wounds received in faith community: false comfort, simplistic answers to complex issues, the refusal to even acknowledge or celebrate some of us for who we are... compounded with prayers to a God who seems always distant – quiet in crisis, and absent when we need presence most...All these things cut deep.But it is often our trauma and devastation which propel us into needed self-examination and forward motion.But could our wounds be catalysts for new life within the very structures which caused them? Could there be a way forward for some of us that doesn't leave faith behind entirely? Is it possible to cling to a beautiful essence while still shedding the ugly dogma? Can we take what we've learned and allow it to completely reshape everything we believe? And might some of us find our way "home" if we could ensure that home no longer felt like a cage?The third episode of our second season is one of reimagining – laying the groundwork for finding some reconstruction within the old construct. It examines the idea of "coming back" to faith without "going back" to what pushed us away.

The wounds received in faith community: false comfort, simplistic answers to complex issues, the refusal to even acknowledge or celebrate some of us for who we are... compounded with prayers to a God who seems always distant – quiet in crisis, and absent when we need presence most...All these things cut deep.But it is often our trauma and devastation which propel us into needed self-examination and forward motion.But could our wounds be catalysts for new life within the very structures which caused them? Could there be a way forward for some of us that doesn't leave faith behind entirely? Is it possible to cling to a beautiful essence while still shedding the ugly dogma? Can we take what we've learned and allow it to completely reshape everything we believe? And might some of us find our way "home" if we could ensure that home no longer felt like a cage?The third episode of our second season is one of reimagining – laying the groundwork for finding some reconstruction within the old construct. It examines the idea of "coming back" to faith without "going back" to what pushed us away.

s2e3: From Cage to Catalyst

In certain religious ways of seeing the world, it can be easy to mistake presence for transcendence. We struggle to fully embody our own experiences in the ‘here and now’ when everything is made to be ‘the somewhere else and the not yet.’There’s music happening, and all around us is a great symphony… but we treat it like echoes. It turns out that being fully intimate with our own experience can be difficult when we have to filter everything through an “eternal” worldview.When that’s you, you end up holding each moment at arm’s length.Many of us have thus experienced a subversion, or a suppression, of our humanity as a result of this perspective. A lack of full presence and embodiment doesn’t just diminish our experience of the world, but our engagement in the world.So what of the other side? What’s there to be found? This episode has a lot to say about those questions. Maybe uncertainty brings some healing along with it.

In certain religious ways of seeing the world, it can be easy to mistake presence for transcendence. We struggle to fully embody our own experiences in the ‘here and now’ when everything is made to be ‘the somewhere else and the not yet.’There’s music happening, and all around us is a great symphony… but we treat it like echoes. It turns out that being fully intimate with our own experience can be difficult when we have to filter everything through an “eternal” worldview.When that’s you, you end up holding each moment at arm’s length.Many of us have thus experienced a subversion, or a suppression, of our humanity as a result of this perspective. A lack of full presence and embodiment doesn’t just diminish our experience of the world, but our engagement in the world.So what of the other side? What’s there to be found? This episode has a lot to say about those questions. Maybe uncertainty brings some healing along with it.

s3e2: A Greater Presence

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