So here we are! All of Season 2 emperors have been scored. but how will they do in the play off? But before we find out, we must put them in rounds. Here we go!

So here we are! All of Season 2 emperors have been scored. but how will they do in the play off? But before we find out, we must put them in rounds. Here we go!

S2 Draw

Here it is! The last Roman emperor! it's been quite the journey, and after this we will be able to say we have ranked them all. So how does Constantine XI hold up to the 169 others? Find out!

Here it is! The last Roman emperor! it's been quite the journey, and after this we will be able to say we have ranked them all. So how does Constantine XI hold up to the 169 others? Find out!

171 Constantine XI

John VIII

Penultimate episode and we have John VIII! Is the son of Manuel Dos able to live up to his father? Can he hold back the Ottomans with his plan of church unification? Well, no. Let's find out why!

Penultimate episode and we have John VIII! Is the son of Manuel Dos able to live up to his father? Can he hold back the Ottomans with his plan of church unification? Well, no. Let's find out why!

170 John VIII

The empire is on its last legs and needs a hero. And who is this man? this suave champion of the people!? is Manuel as cool as Jamie and I think he will be? find out!

The empire is on its last legs and needs a hero. And who is this man? this suave champion of the people!? is Manuel as cool as Jamie and I think he will be? find out!

169 Manuel II

John VII

Last week we covered a son who led a mostly unsuccessful coup against the father who blinded him. This week we are coving a grandson who led a mostly unsuccessful coup against the grandfather who blinded him. So that’s fun.

Last week we covered a son who led a mostly unsuccessful coup against the father who blinded him. This week we are coving a grandson who led a mostly unsuccessful coup against the grandfather who blinded him. So that’s fun.

168 John VII

So award for worst son in Roman history goes to...  But is this fair? Did AndyIV have a reason for his behaviour? Find out!

So award for worst son in Roman history goes to...  But is this fair? Did AndyIV have a reason for his behaviour? Find out!

167 Andronikos IV

So, after John VI we obviously get to John V! And this has it all! Kidnapping, a trip down memory lane, imprisonment, a moody teenage son, and Lord Flashheart/the Green Count!

So, after John VI we obviously get to John V! And this has it all! Kidnapping, a trip down memory lane, imprisonment, a moody teenage son, and Lord Flashheart/the Green Count!

166 John V (Yes V, not VI)

It's Matthew! Should he get an episode? Maybe, maybe not. But he has one! The empire is spiralling out of control as the neighbours fight their civil war for them!

It's Matthew! Should he get an episode? Maybe, maybe not. But he has one! The empire is spiralling out of control as the neighbours fight their civil war for them!

165 Matthew

John VI

Next up is John VI! Which we are doing before John V just to mess with everything that is good in the world. Find out why in this episode! (Oh and about a civil war and stuff)

Next up is John VI! Which we are doing before John V just to mess with everything that is good in the world. Find out why in this episode! (Oh and about a civil war and stuff)

164 John VI (Yes VI, not V)

His father is dead, his grandfather is on the throne and he has accidently murdered his brother (oops). There is clearly only one thing to do: It's Coup-O'Clock!

His father is dead, his grandfather is on the throne and he has accidently murdered his brother (oops). There is clearly only one thing to do: It's Coup-O'Clock!

163 Andronikos III

Rating all the emperors of Rome in the history of the Roman Empire (sort of)

Did you enjoy “The history of Rome” but think to yourself “what if this was comedy, and instead of Mike Duncan being one American guy he was two British guys instead?” If you did, then that’s an odd thing to think, but you’ll love this podcast! Very historical for a comedy podcast and very funny for a history podcast.

Historical and hilarious

Honestly, I laugh more listening to this than the comedy podcasts I’ve had recommended to me.

Absolute delight

Roman Emperors: Totalus Rankium

East and West are splitting, political, cultural and religious differences are forcing this divide. But one man has the honour of being The Last Man To Rule The Undivided Empire. And he is know as The Great! what can possibly go wrong here? So, pull up a chair and listen as we find out just how great he is. does he rid the empire of the Goths? does he settle all the religious disputes? Oh, and check the exits... always check the exits... this one has a temper.

East and West are splitting, political, cultural and religious differences are forcing this divide. But one man has the honour of being The Last Man To Rule The Undivided Empire. And he is know as The Great! what can possibly go wrong here? So, pull up a chair and listen as we find out just how great he is. does he rid the empire of the Goths? does he settle all the religious disputes? Oh, and check the exits... always check the exits... this one has a temper.

69 Theodosius

Join us as we cover the first Roman Emperor: Augustus! (Or Octavius...or Octavian...) Was he a fearless leader? Or just someone with good friends and a famous uncle? Find out exactly where he hid during all the important battles and how he got Agrippa to rebuild Rome.

02 Augustus

And so we arrive at Justinian - by far the most famous emperor of the East bar perhaps Constantine the Great. But is that fame justified? Strap yourself in for this extra long episode including battles, Vandals, Goths, Persians, the plague, riots, mega churches, massacres, law codes and a bullied Pope!

And so we arrive at Justinian - by far the most famous emperor of the East bar perhaps Constantine the Great. But is that fame justified? Strap yourself in for this extra long episode including battles, Vandals, Goths, Persians, the plague, riots, mega churches, massacres, law codes and a bullied Pope!

91 Justinian

It takes a brave man to stand up to Attila, it takes a lucky one to survive. Find out just how brave or lucky Marcian was. Also, find out: How an eagle save Marcian's life, where Marcian was during the wars and what Marcian got up to on his honey-moon (not much).

It takes a brave man to stand up to Attila, it takes a lucky one to survive. Find out just how brave or lucky Marcian was. Also, find out: How an eagle save Marcian's life, where Marcian was during the wars and what Marcian got up to on his honey-moon (not much).

76 Marcian

One day, a simple farmer looked around at the devastation of his homeland. He turned to his son and talked wistfully about the Good Old Days. When finishing this heart wrenching tale, the old man died. The son's heart filled with rage - his father's life had been one of misery. Who to blame? Everyone! what to do? Become Emperor and take over the world!* Join us as we see how Aurelian's life faired after this. What was his pet snake called? Why should you never open the door during a coup? Did we remember all the Barbarians? Whose elephant is this? Find out answers to all of this and more! *This story is in no way true. Probably. I mean, who knows? maybe it did happen. 

One day, a simple farmer looked around at the devastation of his homeland. He turned to his son and talked wistfully about the Good Old Days. When finishing this heart wrenching tale, the old man died. The son's heart filled with rage - his father's life had been one of misery. Who to blame? Everyone! what to do? Become Emperor and take over the world!* Join us as we see how Aurelian's life faired after this. What was his pet snake called? Why should you never open the door during a coup? Did we remember all the Barbarians? Whose elephant is this? Find out answers to all of this and more! *This story is in no way true. Probably. I mean, who knows? maybe it did happen.

43 Aurelian

We come to another big name in the history of Rome, and we get another extra long episode. Why does Heraclius deserve a longer episode? Well… We have giants on bridges! Sieges! The rise of a world religion plus the fall of a mighty empire! War! Plots! Schemes! A naked horse ride! This episode has it all.

We come to another big name in the history of Rome, and we get another extra long episode. Why does Heraclius deserve a longer episode? Well… We have giants on bridges! Sieges! The rise of a world religion plus the fall of a mighty empire! War! Plots! Schemes! A naked horse ride! This episode has it all.

96 Heraclius

Widely regarded as one of the worst emperors in history. But why? What did he do that was so bad? And was it him, or his advisor Stilicho, or Olypius, or Jovius or Constantius? Or any of the others that were actually running things? Who knows? All Honorius knows is that he likes it in Ravenna with it's nice tall walls and deep swamps and hopfully the rest of the world will sort its self out. Best to ignore it. Best to play with his chickens. 

Widely regarded as one of the worst emperors in history. But why? What did he do that was so bad? And was it him, or his advisor Stilicho, or Olypius, or Jovius or Constantius? Or any of the others that were actually running things? Who knows? All Honorius knows is that he likes it in Ravenna with it's nice tall walls and deep swamps and hopfully the rest of the world will sort its self out. Best to ignore it. Best to play with his chickens.

71 Honorius

 Who is this misunderstood youth? All he did was try to restore the empire after his evil Uncle Tiberius died. He built an aqueduct and restored the temples... and stopped the Great Shell Invasion of 40CE. And heard the voices of dead people and killed all his family and stole peoples wives and threw people to the wolves and forced marched the senate and built a pointless bridge and exiled his wives and invited people to his horse's house and ...(fade to black). Oh dear.   

Who is this misunderstood youth? All he did was try to restore the empire after his evil Uncle Tiberius died. He built an aqueduct and restored the temples... and stopped the Great Shell Invasion of 40CE. And heard the voices of dead people and killed all his family and stole peoples wives and threw people to the wolves and forced marched the senate and built a pointless bridge and exiled his wives and invited people to his horse's house and ...(fade to black). Oh dear.

04 Caligula

This is the end - my only friend - the end. Orestes has a plan to start a new golden age. It involves his son being the emperor, plus about a thousand problems magically going away. Spoiler warning: he fails. But find out how! Also: We figure out when the West was doomed to fail, plus whose fault it was! Also: find out who would the public vote for the spare Je Na Caesar place. And finally: we draw the rounds for the epic battle that will start next week! 

This is the end - my only friend - the end. Orestes has a plan to start a new golden age. It involves his son being the emperor, plus about a thousand problems magically going away. Spoiler warning: he fails. But find out how! Also: We figure out when the West was doomed to fail, plus whose fault it was! Also: find out who would the public vote for the spare Je Na Caesar place. And finally: we draw the rounds for the epic battle that will start next week!

85 Augustulus

This week the son of mighty Maximian is under the microscope. Does Maxentius live up to his father? or even go beyond? He is not invited to the Tetrachic Party and he is not happy. Find out how the simple garden pea can masterfully be deployed as a metaphor for the pursuit for power.   Also: We say goodbye to the Praetorian Guard, so we look back and decide on the best Praetorian Prefect.

This week the son of mighty Maximian is under the microscope. Does Maxentius live up to his father? or even go beyond? He is not invited to the Tetrachic Party and he is not happy. Find out how the simple garden pea can masterfully be deployed as a metaphor for the pursuit for power. Also: We say goodbye to the Praetorian Guard, so we look back and decide on the best Praetorian Prefect.

55 Maxentius

Our first female emperor is finally here! And it only took 110 men and 800 years to get here! So how will Irene shape up? It's tough breaking the mould, and unfortunately for her, there are a lot of people standing around worried about her lack of 'advantage'. Will she be able to overcome this? or will the rift with her son end is disaster? 

Our first female emperor is finally here! And it only took 110 men and 800 years to get here! So how will Irene shape up? It's tough breaking the mould, and unfortunately for her, there are a lot of people standing around worried about her lack of 'advantage'. Will she be able to overcome this? or will the rift with her son end is disaster?

111 Irene

We are back! Series 2 of Roman Emperors: Totalus Rankium begins with Leo the Butcher. We have already covered his reign in the last series, but now we get to see it from his perspective. and finally find out why he was called "The Butcher". 

We are back! Series 2 of Roman Emperors: Totalus Rankium begins with Leo the Butcher. We have already covered his reign in the last series, but now we get to see it from his perspective. and finally find out why he was called "The Butcher".

86 Leo

He was destined to achieve great things, almost emperor of the East, then actual emperor of the West. With East and West unified once more and with the backing of his good friend Leo, how could Anthemius possibly lose? As long as he does nothing to annoy Ricimer, it will all be fine... Also: Jamie has a new toy! And everyone should be kind and encourage his creativeness - he has been practising all week. 

He was destined to achieve great things, almost emperor of the East, then actual emperor of the West. With East and West unified once more and with the backing of his good friend Leo, how could Anthemius possibly lose? As long as he does nothing to annoy Ricimer, it will all be fine... Also: Jamie has a new toy! And everyone should be kind and encourage his creativeness - he has been practising all week.

81 Anthemius

Perhaps more than any other emperor, a myth has arisen around the emperor Constantine. He was the emperor who turned the empire christian! He built Constantinople! He created an empire that lasted 1000 years! He had a magic standard! But did he? Join us as we look into Constantine the Great: find out what his favourite type of tent was! His favourite method of crossing swamps and why the first Christmas’ of Rome were very awkward…

Perhaps more than any other emperor, a myth has arisen around the emperor Constantine. He was the emperor who turned the empire christian! He built Constantinople! He created an empire that lasted 1000 years! He had a magic standard! But did he? Join us as we look into Constantine the Great: find out what his favourite type of tent was! His favourite method of crossing swamps and why the first Christmas’ of Rome were very awkward…

58 Constantine

Julian is one of the most beloved of the latter emperors by historians, but why? Find out what he did in Gual, how he misspelt ‘send’ as ‘burn’, what caused him to revolt, why did the people of Antioch hated his beard, and how he dealt with Shapur II.   Does he live up to the hype? find out in this week’s Totalus Rankium!

Julian is one of the most beloved of the latter emperors by historians, but why? Find out what he did in Gual, how he misspelt ‘send’ as ‘burn’, what caused him to revolt, why did the people of Antioch hated his beard, and how he dealt with Shapur II. Does he live up to the hype? find out in this week’s Totalus Rankium!

62 Julian

Audio apology: The first 8 mins has a slight crackle in it. Jeff was in charge of sound this week. Sorry. The son of Micael II, the Godson of Leo V, Theophilos has a vision for the empire, and it is not what his parent's generation necessarily wanted. He was going to be a wise ruler, taking lessons from the mighty Al-Rashid - the wise and benevolent ruler of a caliphate entering a golden age. He would rule just as Al-Rashid did and - what's that? Al-Rashid's son is invading? Oh. Damn. 

Audio apology: The first 8 mins has a slight crackle in it. Jeff was in charge of sound this week. Sorry. The son of Micael II, the Godson of Leo V, Theophilos has a vision for the empire, and it is not what his parent's generation necessarily wanted. He was going to be a wise ruler, taking lessons from the mighty Al-Rashid - the wise and benevolent ruler of a caliphate entering a golden age. He would rule just as Al-Rashid did and - what's that? Al-Rashid's son is invading? Oh. Damn.

118 Theophilos

Tiberius is considered to be the 5th or 6th or 7th or 8th worst emperor of all time. Is this justified? Or was he just a lonely man with the weight of the world on his shoulders and an excel spread sheet?  Also find out: Who was given a pet  rock! Who Fought all the battles now Agrippa is dead! Who holds the Roman land speed record! Who keeps killing everyone! &amp; Much much more...

03 Tiberius

Romanos II. What to say about Romanos II? Well, according to the sources, not much because there is a general out there called Nikephoros and he is doing all sorts of exciting things. So join us while we find out about this general and occasionally mention the emperor! 

Romanos II. What to say about Romanos II? Well, according to the sources, not much because there is a general out there called Nikephoros and he is doing all sorts of exciting things. So join us while we find out about this general and occasionally mention the emperor!

128 Romanos II

Arcadius, our second puppet emperor. Judge him against most, then he won't do well, but how does he compare to Valentinian II? Is he as useless? Does he have any redeeming features?  But let's be honest. No one is going to remember this as the Arcadius episode. This will always be the episode where Rob tells Jamie, in detail, how the Romans created their Eunuchs. Never before has a recording session been spent with as much time with crossed legs. 

Arcadius, our second puppet emperor. Judge him against most, then he won't do well, but how does he compare to Valentinian II? Is he as useless? Does he have any redeeming features?  But let's be honest. No one is going to remember this as the Arcadius episode. This will always be the episode where Rob tells Jamie, in detail, how the Romans created their Eunuchs. Never before has a recording session been spent with as much time with crossed legs.

70 Arcadius

Constantine III

Some poeple will be remembered for taking a chance, for seizing the day, for grasping the nettle, for being the one person at the time ready to stand up and say: 'This is my time damnit, and I will make it!'. However, unfortunatly, to be remembered for saying those things, you then need to actually follow them through. With Contantine III chances were indeed taken, but was a nettle grasped? Was a day seized? find out in this week's Totalus Rankium! 

Some poeple will be remembered for taking a chance, for seizing the day, for grasping the nettle, for being the one person at the time ready to stand up and say: 'This is my time damnit, and I will make it!'. However, unfortunatly, to be remembered for saying those things, you then need to actually follow them through. With Contantine III chances were indeed taken, but was a nettle grasped? Was a day seized? find out in this week's Totalus Rankium!

72 Constantine III

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