"The relationship they need to feel secure is not always the one you need to deescalate to the 'good parts' of your relationship with them." "It can be really triggering to watch someone greive so outwardly about someone else and their relationship while you're still with them." Leanne Yau of PolyPhiliaBlog guests on this week's episode to discuss her recent breakup and breakups in general, and when they end up being necessary over de-escalations, with Laura. We talk about breakups when you're 6 degrees of Kevin Bacon or less from your former partners by staying in community, how these can be even more difficult than leaving a relationship, that people sometimes stay in relationships to "prove the haters wrong," and more. The episode includes a section on  Related blog posts at the Ready for Polyamory Blog include:  https://www.readyforpolyamory.com/post/breakups-in-polyamory  https://www.readyforpolyamory.com/post/breaking-up-is-hard-to-do https://www.readyforpolyamory.com/post/guest-post-is-there-a-problem-with-hierarchy (on automatic promotion to primary) https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/laugh-cry-live/201809/how-respond-people-in-crisis-comfort-in-dump-out (Grief ring theory dump in comfort out) Leanne Yau, aka Poly Philia, is a polyamory educator and sex-positive influencer on Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, Twitter, Patreon, and YouTube. She creates and curates humorous and educational memes, tips, videos, and other bite-size content on non-monogamy, queer relationships, and sex positivity, and was named #1 in Cosmopolitan's '10 Polyamory Experts to Follow on TikTok'. You can find her on all social media as @polyphiliablog; and her patreon and shop at http://patreon.com/polyphiliablog; http://polyphiliashop.Redbubble.com. Special Guest: Leanne Yau.

"The relationship they need to feel secure is not always the one you need to deescalate to the 'good parts' of your relationship with them." "It can be really triggering to watch someone greive so outwardly about someone else and their relationship while you're still with them." Leanne Yau of PolyPhiliaBlog guests on this week's episode to discuss her recent breakup and breakups in general, and when they end up being necessary over de-escalations, with Laura. We talk about breakups when you're 6 degrees of Kevin Bacon or less from your former partners by staying in community, how these can be even more difficult than leaving a relationship, that people sometimes stay in relationships to "prove the haters wrong," and more. The episode includes a section on Related blog posts at the Ready for Polyamory Blog include: <a href="https://www.readyforpolyamory.com/post/breakups-in-polyamory" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.readyforpolyamory.com/post/breakups-in-polyamory</a> <a href="https://www.readyforpolyamory.com/post/breaking-up-is-hard-to-do" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.readyforpolyamory.com/post/breaking-up-is-hard-to-do</a> <a href="https://www.readyforpolyamory.com/post/guest-post-is-there-a-problem-with-hierarchy" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.readyforpolyamory.com/post/guest-post-is-there-a-problem-with-hierarchy</a> (on automatic promotion to primary) <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/laugh-cry-live/201809/how-respond-people-in-crisis-comfort-in-dump-out" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/laugh-cry-live/201809/how-respond-people-in-crisis-comfort-in-dump-out</a> (Grief ring theory dump in comfort out) Leanne Yau, aka Poly Philia, is a polyamory educator and sex-positive influencer on Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, Twitter, Patreon, and YouTube. She creates and curates humorous and educational memes, tips, videos, and other bite-size content on non-monogamy, queer relationships, and sex positivity, and was named #1 in Cosmopolitan's '10 Polyamory Experts to Follow on TikTok'. You can find her on all social media as @polyphiliablog; and her patreon and shop at <a href="http://patreon.com/polyphiliablog" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">http://patreon.com/polyphiliablog</a>; <a href="http://polyphiliashop.Redbubble.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">http://polyphiliashop.Redbubble.com</a>. Special Guest: Leanne Yau.

Season 6 Episode 11: Breakups vs De-escalations

"Start the revolution from your affections is an imperfect translation, but it's as close as we could get to the idea that we don't want freedom from our bonds, we want freedom made by our bonds" "Relationship Anarchy is essentially the everyday decision to make visible and question all of the presumptions that underlie all our relationships."  If you find discussions of Relationship Anarchy to be dismissive, surface level, or fail to explain what the political anarchist principles that are being applied to relationships ARE, this book may be for you.  We discuss the idea that self-care is useless without community care, that the idea is to make all relationships more valuable, not romantic relationships less so, and other overarching themes.  The concept of the book, originally published in Spanish in 2020, is to clarify a more radical framework for sustainable interpersonal relationships based on communication and free conscientious commitment, based on alternatives to hegemonic monogamous patriarchal systems. It argues, among other points, that the difference between "nonhierarchical polyamory" and "relationship anarchy" is a willingness to engage in the political meaning of our relationship choices.  Get the Relationship Anarchy book and more information here: https://relationshipanarchybook.com/ As always you can find the latest happenings for Laura and Ready for Polyamory at readyforpolyamory.com ; on the ko-fi shop at www.ko-fi.com/readyforpolyamory/shop there are newly uploaded class copies. 

"Start the revolution from your affections is an imperfect translation, but it's as close as we could get to the idea that we don't want freedom from our bonds, we want freedom made by our bonds" "Relationship Anarchy is essentially the everyday decision to make visible and question all of the presumptions that underlie all our relationships." If you find discussions of Relationship Anarchy to be dismissive, surface level, or fail to explain what the political anarchist principles that are being applied to relationships ARE, this book may be for you. We discuss the idea that self-care is useless without community care, that the idea is to make all relationships more valuable, not romantic relationships less so, and other overarching themes. The concept of the book, originally published in Spanish in 2020, is to clarify a more radical framework for sustainable interpersonal relationships based on communication and free conscientious commitment, based on alternatives to hegemonic monogamous patriarchal systems. It argues, among other points, that the difference between "nonhierarchical polyamory" and "relationship anarchy" is a willingness to engage in the political meaning of our relationship choices. Get the Relationship Anarchy book and more information here: <a href="https://relationshipanarchybook.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://relationshipanarchybook.com/</a> As always you can find the latest happenings for Laura and Ready for Polyamory at <a href="http://readyforpolyamory.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">readyforpolyamory.com</a> ; on the ko-fi shop at <a href="http://www.ko-fi.com/readyforpolyamory/shop" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.ko-fi.com/readyforpolyamory/shop</a> there are newly uploaded class copies.

Season 6 Episode 10: The Relationship Anarchy Book

Content Warning: we discuss abusive relationships, and (without details) sexual assault and the process of reporting and discussing such incidents in community and with organizations that were around us at that time. Folks should use their discretion in  deciding if this is an episode they can listen to and when they should do so.  "A lot of survivors get given the impression they can't be non-monogamous. That isn't necessarily true." "Trauma-informed non-monogamy and non-monogamous spaces can be harder to find than we want them to be." Sydney Rae Chin is a chef, pleasure curator, and sex worker. They nourish people through body, mind, and soul through curated pleasure centered experiences.  Sydney's work is informed by their ancestral roots in Guangdong/Hong Kong, non-monogamy practice, and experiences with survivorship (intimate partner and sexual violence).  If you want to book Sydney's alter ego, head to eatwithlydialim.com to experience the more submissive and spicier side of their life.  Links: eatwithlydialim.com and sexysoupdumplings.com incoming soon  https://msha.ke/sexysoupdumplings/ https://onlyfans.com/smexysoupdumplings

Content Warning: we discuss abusive relationships, and (without details) sexual assault and the process of reporting and discussing such incidents in community and with organizations that were around us at that time. Folks should use their discretion in deciding if this is an episode they can listen to and when they should do so. "A lot of survivors get given the impression they can't be non-monogamous. That isn't necessarily true." "Trauma-informed non-monogamy and non-monogamous spaces can be harder to find than we want them to be." Sydney Rae Chin is a chef, pleasure curator, and sex worker. They nourish people through body, mind, and soul through curated pleasure centered experiences. Sydney's work is informed by their ancestral roots in Guangdong/Hong Kong, non-monogamy practice, and experiences with survivorship (intimate partner and sexual violence). If you want to book Sydney's alter ego, head to <a href="http://eatwithlydialim.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">eatwithlydialim.com</a> to experience the more submissive and spicier side of their life. Links: <a href="http://eatwithlydialim.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">eatwithlydialim.com</a> and <a href="http://sexysoupdumplings.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">sexysoupdumplings.com</a> incoming soon <a href="https://msha.ke/sexysoupdumplings/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://msha.ke/sexysoupdumplings/</a> <a href="https://onlyfans.com/smexysoupdumplings" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://onlyfans.com/smexysoupdumplings</a>

Season 6 Episode 9: Abuse in Polyamory Part 3 Survivorship in Community

"The definition I prefer to use is that abuse is a pattern of behavior with the design, intent, or consequence of making someone unable to leave a situation."  "We need to expand our conceptions of abuse because so many support systems are using methods of understanding that are heteronormative and based entirely on married people, much less mononormative." CW: this episode speaks about patterns of behavior and harm that can comprise abusive relationships, and while it strives not to be explicit, it may be triggering for some survivors of abuse. Use your discretion for if or the timing of when you listen.  Laura speaks with Claire Travers of Poly Pages regarding abuse in polyamory, resources for folks who believe they may be in abusive relationships, and the most well known examples of abuse in polyam relationships.  Claire Travers runs events, a podcast, webcasts, and research hubs for Poly Pages, an academic-focused resource on polyamory, which you can find at www.polypages.org. You can also find her on instagram and tiktok @polypages.  Poly Pages is partnered with The Network La Red in the USA and Refuge in the UK to expand definitions and understandings of abuse outside of hetero-mononormative views. You can find The Network La Red at https://www.tnlr.org/en/ and they have a Zoom event "Coffee with The Network La Red" this sunday about the nuance in "the myth of mutual abuse" and some of the "flying monkey" and "DARVO" issues Claire and I discuss in this episode as well as the "no perfect victim" issues Alicia and I discussed in the previous one on March 26 at 10 am. You can find the registration link and more at their linktree here: https://linktr.ee/thenetworklared Refuge for those in the UK can be found here: https://refuge.org.uk/

"The definition I prefer to use is that abuse is a pattern of behavior with the design, intent, or consequence of making someone unable to leave a situation." "We need to expand our conceptions of abuse because so many support systems are using methods of understanding that are heteronormative and based entirely on married people, much less mononormative." CW: this episode speaks about patterns of behavior and harm that can comprise abusive relationships, and while it strives not to be explicit, it may be triggering for some survivors of abuse. Use your discretion for if or the timing of when you listen. Laura speaks with Claire Travers of Poly Pages regarding abuse in polyamory, resources for folks who believe they may be in abusive relationships, and the most well known examples of abuse in polyam relationships. Claire Travers runs events, a podcast, webcasts, and research hubs for Poly Pages, an academic-focused resource on polyamory, which you can find at <a href="http://www.polypages.org" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.polypages.org</a>. You can also find her on instagram and tiktok @polypages. Poly Pages is partnered with The Network La Red in the USA and Refuge in the UK to expand definitions and understandings of abuse outside of hetero-mononormative views. You can find The Network La Red at <a href="https://www.tnlr.org/en/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.tnlr.org/en/</a> and they have a Zoom event "Coffee with The Network La Red" this sunday about the nuance in "the myth of mutual abuse" and some of the "flying monkey" and "DARVO" issues Claire and I discuss in this episode as well as the "no perfect victim" issues Alicia and I discussed in the previous one on March 26 at 10 am. You can find the registration link and more at their linktree here: <a href="https://linktr.ee/thenetworklared" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://linktr.ee/thenetworklared</a> Refuge for those in the UK can be found here: <a href="https://refuge.org.uk/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://refuge.org.uk/</a>

Season 6 Episode 8: Abuse in Polyamory Part 2

Content Warning: throughout this episode, we speak frankly of forms of emotional, financial, and physical abuse. There is no particularly graphic content and the episode is "safe for work" in a traditional sense, but it may be triggering to some listeners and begins with a similar audio content warning. Listen at a time and in a place when you have the capacity to care for yourself, especially if you are a survivor of abuse.  "There are several conversations our community should be having about abuse but the first step should be to acknowledge it happens in polyamorous relationships." "Mainstream polyamorous discourse is simply not trauma-informed and therefore is mostly ridiculous. It ignores people's reality and becomes a richer tool for abusers." In this episode, Laura sits down with Alicia Bunyan-Sampson, of Polyamorous Black Girl, to discuss abuse in polyamorous relationships and the conversations the polyam community needs to be having around this challenging topic. They go over the ways the polyam community's wider conversation fails survivors by implying that polyamory is "more enlightened" than monogamy; the ways being a subculture can begin the work of isolating a victim for an abuser; the fact that there is no such thing as a "perfect victim" and that this complicates public perception of abuse;  some conversations the community needs to have more often; and more.  You can find a listing of all Alicia's websites and social media at https://bio.site/polyamorousblackgirl, but she  is frequently posting on instagram @polyamorousblackgirl on tiktok @polyamorousblkgrl and on twitter @polyamblackgirl. As always you can find Laura and Ready for Polyamory at readyforpolyamory.com and the full links to all her social media and upcoming projects at linktr.ee/readyforpolyamory. Special Guest: Alicia Bunyan-Sampson .

Content Warning: throughout this episode, we speak frankly of forms of emotional, financial, and physical abuse. There is no particularly graphic content and the episode is "safe for work" in a traditional sense, but it may be triggering to some listeners and begins with a similar audio content warning. Listen at a time and in a place when you have the capacity to care for yourself, especially if you are a survivor of abuse. "There are several conversations our community should be having about abuse but the first step should be to acknowledge it happens in polyamorous relationships." "Mainstream polyamorous discourse is simply not trauma-informed and therefore is mostly ridiculous. It ignores people's reality and becomes a richer tool for abusers." In this episode, Laura sits down with Alicia Bunyan-Sampson, of Polyamorous Black Girl, to discuss abuse in polyamorous relationships and the conversations the polyam community needs to be having around this challenging topic. They go over the ways the polyam community's wider conversation fails survivors by implying that polyamory is "more enlightened" than monogamy; the ways being a subculture can begin the work of isolating a victim for an abuser; the fact that there is no such thing as a "perfect victim" and that this complicates public perception of abuse; some conversations the community needs to have more often; and more. You can find a listing of all Alicia's websites and social media at <a href="https://bio.site/polyamorousblackgirl" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://bio.site/polyamorousblackgirl</a>, but she is frequently posting on instagram <a href="https://www.instagram.com/polyamorousblackgirl/?hl=en" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">@polyamorousblackgirl</a> on tiktok <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@polyamorousblkgrl" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">@polyamorousblkgrl</a> and on twitter <a href="https://twitter.com/polyamblackgirl" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">@polyamblackgirl</a>. As always you can find Laura and Ready for Polyamory at <a href="http://readyforpolyamory.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">readyforpolyamory.com</a> and the full links to all her social media and upcoming projects at <a href="http://linktr.ee/readyforpolyamory" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">linktr.ee/readyforpolyamory</a>. Special Guest: Alicia Bunyan-Sampson .

Season 6 Episode 7: Abuse in Polyamory Part 1

Non-monogamy is a big umbrella! polyamory isn't the only thing that falls under it. Often, folks can be a little Holier-than-thou (polier-than-thou?) about their nonmonogamy, implying that polyamory is more evolved than other kinds of consensual non-monogamy or being decidedly sex-negative when they learn that folks entered their nonmonogamous journey from opening to swinging or being "monogamish" instead of polyamorous. So on today's episode we're going to talk about the kind of middle spaces that many folks actually continue to exist in (eg, polyam people with ongoing relationships who also have casual encounters or attend sex parties, or swingers who play with the same people for many years and become exceptionally close), as well as what these communities can learn from one another.  Our guests today are Emma and Fin of the Normalizing Non-Monogamy podcast, who interview hundreds of non-mono individuals to share the extremely broad variation in the realities of nonmonogamous folks' lives. They share their own story with us here. You can find their podcast on most podcast platforms and their site here: https://www.normalizingnonmonogamy.com/ https://www.normalizingnonmonogamy.com/community

Non-monogamy is a big umbrella! polyamory isn't the only thing that falls under it. Often, folks can be a little Holier-than-thou (polier-than-thou?) about their nonmonogamy, implying that polyamory is more evolved than other kinds of consensual non-monogamy or being decidedly sex-negative when they learn that folks entered their nonmonogamous journey from opening to swinging or being "monogamish" instead of polyamorous. So on today's episode we're going to talk about the kind of middle spaces that many folks actually continue to exist in (eg, polyam people with ongoing relationships who also have casual encounters or attend sex parties, or swingers who play with the same people for many years and become exceptionally close), as well as what these communities can learn from one another. Our guests today are Emma and Fin of the Normalizing Non-Monogamy podcast, who interview hundreds of non-mono individuals to share the extremely broad variation in the realities of nonmonogamous folks' lives. They share their own story with us here. You can find their podcast on most podcast platforms and their site here: <a href="https://www.normalizingnonmonogamy.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.normalizingnonmonogamy.com/</a> <a href="https://www.normalizingnonmonogamy.com/community" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.normalizingnonmonogamy.com/community</a>

Season 6 Episode 6: Swinging and Polyamory

"It's really just a matter of making sure people really see me, Ebony, and me includes non-binary identity as well as the experience of Black womanhood."  "It's been one thing to have issues in dating, but more than wrong pronouns or disrepect from partners, it's been metamours seeing me as a woman because of shared partners."  In response to listener questions about non-binary experience in a polyamorous relationship landscape, Laura sits down with Ebony of Marjani Lane to gain first person perspective on this issue. Ebony shares their perspective on the ways being non-binary can narrow dating pool, how other privileges and marginalized identities intersect with nonbinary identity, and ways that the polyam community tricks itself into thinking it's more inclusive while not walking that talk.  You can find Marjani Lane the account on Instagram @MarjaniLane as well as using the Direct Me page to find other social media, ways to tip Ebony, and a subscribe button to hear when they update. If you're interested in following Laura and readyforpolyamory, check out the website [readyforpolyamory.com](readyforpolyamory.com) or [her linktree ](linktr.ee/readyforpolyamory)to find all social media, the book, and peer support options. 

"It's really just a matter of making sure people really see me, Ebony, and me includes non-binary identity as well as the experience of Black womanhood." "It's been one thing to have issues in dating, but more than wrong pronouns or disrepect from partners, it's been metamours seeing me as a woman because of shared partners." In response to listener questions about non-binary experience in a polyamorous relationship landscape, Laura sits down with Ebony of Marjani Lane to gain first person perspective on this issue. Ebony shares their perspective on the ways being non-binary can narrow dating pool, how other privileges and marginalized identities intersect with nonbinary identity, and ways that the polyam community tricks itself into thinking it's more inclusive while not walking that talk. You can find Marjani Lane the account <a href="https://www.instagram.com/marjanilane/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">on Instagram</a> @MarjaniLane as well as using the <a href="https://direct.me/marjanilane" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Direct Me</a> page to find other social media, ways to tip Ebony, and a subscribe button to hear when they update. If you're interested in following Laura and readyforpolyamory, check out the website [<a href="http://readyforpolyamory.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">readyforpolyamory.com</a>](<a href="http://readyforpolyamory.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">readyforpolyamory.com</a>) or [her linktree ](<a href="http://linktr.ee/readyforpolyamory)to" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">linktr.ee/readyforpolyamory)to</a> find all social media, the book, and peer support options.

Season 6 Episode 5: Non-binary Polyamorous Experience

"My relationship structure now is significantly less hierarchical than it was when my partner and I came back to polyamory with one another."  "Dangling possibilities for years is just so much worse than admitting 'this is a thing that I cannot offer." Laura and Amy discuss the practical applications of hierarchy - whether strictly applied or tacitly existing, and ways that it can be both positive and negative depending on treatment, in this week's episode. They also make some commentary on the most common issues they see brought up online in large polyam groups and the commonalities of those.  Amy Norton is a sex writer who can be found talking about polyamory on Twitter @AmyisPolyam. 

"My relationship structure now is significantly less hierarchical than it was when my partner and I came back to polyamory with one another." "Dangling possibilities for years is just so much worse than admitting 'this is a thing that I cannot offer." Laura and Amy discuss the practical applications of hierarchy - whether strictly applied or tacitly existing, and ways that it can be both positive and negative depending on treatment, in this week's episode. They also make some commentary on the most common issues they see brought up online in large polyam groups and the commonalities of those. Amy Norton is a sex writer who can be found talking about polyamory on Twitter @AmyisPolyam.

Season 6 Episode 4: Hierarchy and Change

"It's just been wild to see the explosion of representation of polyamory on tv the last few years." "When I started my polyamory in media series there were like 2 movies and me digging for 30 year old comics and 60 year old books, and now there is so much available."  Laura and Abbie sit down to talk about recent tv series portraying polyamory (and other nonmonogamy and how the two get conflated in media), as well as the proliferation of content referencing these shows in a positive way, and casual mentions of polyamory in "non-polyam" tv becoming more common. Listen to understand why they love Trigonometry, find You meh but fine, and enjoyed the Gossip Girl reboot, among other shows.  When Abbie (she/they) isn't writing, reading or creating content for TikTok  (@Polyanarchy), she hangs out with her polycule and her two crazy dogs or helps with direct action in her community. They have been polyamorous for 4 years and practices non-hierarchical Kitchen Table Polyamory. Follow Abbie @polyanarchy on tiktok to get their detailed takes on books, movies and tv featuring non-monogamy. As always you, can find Laura and Ready for Polyamory at readyforpolyamory.com, on Instagram and Tiktok @readyforpolyamory, and on Twitter @ready4polyamory; and her book on Amazon &amp; Audible.Special Guest: Abbie K.

"It's just been wild to see the explosion of representation of polyamory on tv the last few years." "When I started my polyamory in media series there were like 2 movies and me digging for 30 year old comics and 60 year old books, and now there is so much available." Laura and Abbie sit down to talk about recent tv series portraying polyamory (and other nonmonogamy and how the two get conflated in media), as well as the proliferation of content referencing these shows in a positive way, and casual mentions of polyamory in "non-polyam" tv becoming more common. Listen to understand why they love Trigonometry, find You meh but fine, and enjoyed the Gossip Girl reboot, among other shows. When Abbie (she/they) isn't writing, reading or creating content for TikTok (@Polyanarchy), she hangs out with her polycule and her two crazy dogs or helps with direct action in her community. They have been polyamorous for 4 years and practices non-hierarchical Kitchen Table Polyamory. Follow Abbie @polyanarchy on tiktok to get their detailed takes on books, movies and tv featuring non-monogamy. As always you, can find Laura and Ready for Polyamory at <a href="http://readyforpolyamory.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">readyforpolyamory.com</a>, on Instagram and Tiktok @readyforpolyamory, and on Twitter @ready4polyamory; and her book on <a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09F1KNLTQ?ref_=pe_3052080_397514860" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Amazon</a> &amp; <a href="https://www.audible.com/pd/B0B12KZFYR/?source_code=AUDFPWS0223189MWT-BK-ACX0-308278&amp;ref=acx_bty_BK_ACX0_308278_rh_us" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Audible</a>.Special Guest: Abbie K.

Season 6 Episode 3: Polyamory on TV

“I find that minimizing other relationships doesn’t do what people think it will- you have to move through discomfort anyway.” “If you can’t talk about a kind of sex or a relationship style with the people you want it with, you may not be ready to have it.” On today's podcast, Laura sits down with Yana Tallon-Hicks, LMFT, to discuss the comforts and complications of polyam relationship networks when it comes to communicating our needs and wants, especially regarding our sex lives. From communicating with partners and polycule members about STI status to changes in relationships, she's got lots of useful advice for the practicalities of having these conversations. They also discuss nonmonogamy while parenting and communicating bandwidth to new and potential partners.  Yana Tallon-Hicks, LMFT, is a couples and relationships therapist and a consent, sex, and sexuality writer and educator living in Western Massachusetts. Her work centers around the belief that pleasure-positive and consent-based sex education can positively impact our lives and the world. Connect with her socially on Instagram @the_vspot and professionally at [yanatallonhicks.com](yanatallonhicks.com). Order your copy of Hot and Unbothered (out August 16) at [yanatallonhicks.com/preorder](yanatallonhicks.com/preorder) or wherever you buy books. As always you, can find Laura and Ready for Polyamory at readyforpolyamory.com, on Instagram and Tiktok @readyforpolyamory, and on Twitter @ready4polyamory; and her book on Amazon &amp; Audible.

“I find that minimizing other relationships doesn’t do what people think it will- you have to move through discomfort anyway.” “If you can’t talk about a kind of sex or a relationship style with the people you want it with, you may not be ready to have it.” On today's podcast, Laura sits down with Yana Tallon-Hicks, LMFT, to discuss the comforts and complications of polyam relationship networks when it comes to communicating our needs and wants, especially regarding our sex lives. From communicating with partners and polycule members about STI status to changes in relationships, she's got lots of useful advice for the practicalities of having these conversations. They also discuss nonmonogamy while parenting and communicating bandwidth to new and potential partners. Yana Tallon-Hicks, LMFT, is a couples and relationships therapist and a consent, sex, and sexuality writer and educator living in Western Massachusetts. Her work centers around the belief that pleasure-positive and consent-based sex education can positively impact our lives and the world. Connect with her socially on Instagram @the_vspot and professionally at [<a href="http://yanatallonhicks.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">yanatallonhicks.com</a>](<a href="http://yanatallonhicks.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">yanatallonhicks.com</a>). Order your copy of Hot and Unbothered (out August 16) at [<a href="http://yanatallonhicks.com/preorder" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">yanatallonhicks.com/preorder</a>](<a href="http://yanatallonhicks.com/preorder" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">yanatallonhicks.com/preorder</a>) or wherever you buy books. As always you, can find Laura and Ready for Polyamory at <a href="http://readyforpolyamory.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">readyforpolyamory.com</a>, on Instagram and Tiktok @readyforpolyamory, and on Twitter @ready4polyamory; and her book on <a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09F1KNLTQ?ref_=pe_3052080_397514860" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Amazon</a> &amp; <a href="https://www.audible.com/pd/B0B12KZFYR/?source_code=AUDFPWS0223189MWT-BK-ACX0-308278&amp;ref=acx_bty_BK_ACX0_308278_rh_us" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Audible</a>.

Season 6 Episode 2: Asking for Wants and Needs

Welcome to the Ready for Polyamory Podast! Your charming host, Laura Boyle, will be talking to members of an ever more illustrious group of guests to present the concepts and nuances of Consensual Non-Monogamy, Polyamory and relationship skills in general. Like many polyamorous authorities, she has both mixed educational background (in English Literature, Sexual Diversity Studies, and Law) and personal experience (15 years at the time of this writing) in the field of consensual non-monogamy, and ten in polyamorous relationships more specifically, and this podcast is for the Big General Concepts that don't fit the nerdy detail of the blog (www.readyforpolyamory.com), or the bite-sized format of social media. It's an ongoing examination of polyamorous love, strengths, and challenges, as seen by a 30-something relationship and sex educator and coach.

"We don't automatically or invisibly put expectations on each other - that leads to resentment and conflict."  "To heck with the hyper independent BS - community and the autonomous individual existing together is where it's at." Laura and Michelle Hy of Polyamorous While Asian chat about solopolyamorous dating, creating symbolism in your relationships, and the cocreation of expectations within a relationship. Learn about Mchelle's dating approach of "High standards, low expectations," ideas about community focus and coregulation in relationships while maintaining autonomy, and the possible radical and anticapitalist applications of polyamory as a framework for relationships.  You can find Michelle at https://polyamorouswhileasian.com/ and on Instagram @polyamorouswhileasian. The original "High Standards, Low Expectations" post can be found at https://polyamorouswhileasian.com/articles/high-standards-low-expectations As always you can find Laura and Ready for Polyamory at readyforpolyamory.com, on Instagram and Tiktok @readyforpolyamory, and on Twitter @ready4polyamory. 

"We don't automatically or invisibly put expectations on each other - that leads to resentment and conflict." "To heck with the hyper independent BS - community and the autonomous individual existing together is where it's at." Laura and Michelle Hy of Polyamorous While Asian chat about solopolyamorous dating, creating symbolism in your relationships, and the cocreation of expectations within a relationship. Learn about Mchelle's dating approach of "High standards, low expectations," ideas about community focus and coregulation in relationships while maintaining autonomy, and the possible radical and anticapitalist applications of polyamory as a framework for relationships. You can find Michelle at <a href="https://polyamorouswhileasian.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://polyamorouswhileasian.com/</a> and on Instagram @polyamorouswhileasian. The original "High Standards, Low Expectations" post can be found at <a href="https://polyamorouswhileasian.com/articles/high-standards-low-expectations" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://polyamorouswhileasian.com/articles/high-standards-low-expectations</a> As always you can find Laura and Ready for Polyamory at <a href="http://readyforpolyamory.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">readyforpolyamory.com</a>, on Instagram and Tiktok @readyforpolyamory, and on Twitter @ready4polyamory.

Season 6 Episode 1: High Standards and Low Expectations

"Sometimes a particular adult's involvement ebbs and flows but there isn't the kind of sudden disappearance or 'revolving door' that serial monogamists imagine with polyamorous dating because we've built a lot of community." "We were really anxious about coming out to the kids, and did, and asked if they had questions, and one of them, very in character for him, said 'Yes - can I have another hamburger?'" In today's episode, Laura sits down with her friends Jim Miles and Shanon Murray to talk about what it's like being the polyamorous parents of five kids between the ages of 2 and 19. They share the story of coming out to their 4 older children, what various family reception of this information was like, and advice for other polyamorous parents of tweens and teens in talking about nonmonogamous relationships with their kids.  Jim is an engineer with a large media company; Shanon is a parenting coach with professional training in art therapy and marriage and family therapy; they live in Southern CT with their 5 children and maintain an extended polycule of partners and chosen family locally.  Shanon Murray is a parenting coach in Stratford CT, helping families reach their full potential utilizing art along with other techniques and strategies. She is a nationally certified art therapist, and holds a certification as an early childhood educator in Montessori education. She is accepting new clients, and is happy to work with families virtually or in person. She can be reached by phone: 914-388-7343 email shanon.murray@yahoo.com Or though her Facebook page: https://m.facebook.com/329129277228489/ You can find some of Laura's Polyamorous Parenting FAQs on the blog here. As always, the podcast's music is by Vince Conaway who you can find at www.vinceconaway.com.  You can find the blog at www.readyforpolyamory.com; the book on Amazon in kindle and paperback here; the audiobook can be found here; links to first appointments for peer support with Laura here; and we'll be back at the end of the summer with Season 6. 

"Sometimes a particular adult's involvement ebbs and flows but there isn't the kind of sudden disappearance or 'revolving door' that serial monogamists imagine with polyamorous dating because we've built a lot of community." "We were really anxious about coming out to the kids, and did, and asked if they had questions, and one of them, very in character for him, said 'Yes - can I have another hamburger?'" In today's episode, Laura sits down with her friends Jim Miles and Shanon Murray to talk about what it's like being the polyamorous parents of five kids between the ages of 2 and 19. They share the story of coming out to their 4 older children, what various family reception of this information was like, and advice for other polyamorous parents of tweens and teens in talking about nonmonogamous relationships with their kids. Jim is an engineer with a large media company; Shanon is a parenting coach with professional training in art therapy and marriage and family therapy; they live in Southern CT with their 5 children and maintain an extended polycule of partners and chosen family locally. Shanon Murray is a parenting coach in Stratford CT, helping families reach their full potential utilizing art along with other techniques and strategies. She is a nationally certified art therapist, and holds a certification as an early childhood educator in Montessori education. She is accepting new clients, and is happy to work with families virtually or in person. She can be reached by phone: 914-388-7343 email <a href="mailto:shanon.murray@yahoo.com" rel="nofollow">shanon.murray@yahoo.com</a> Or though her Facebook page: <a href="https://m.facebook.com/329129277228489/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://m.facebook.com/329129277228489/</a> You can find some of Laura's Polyamorous Parenting FAQs on the blog <a href="https://www.readyforpolyamory.com/post/polyamorous-parenting-frequently-asked-questions" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>. As always, the podcast's music is by Vince Conaway who you can find at <a href="http://www.vinceconaway.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.vinceconaway.com</a>. You can find the blog at <a href="http://www.readyforpolyamory.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.readyforpolyamory.com</a>; the book on Amazon in kindle and paperback <a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09F1KNLTQ" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>; the audiobook can be found<a href="https://www.audible.com/pd/B0B12KZFYR/?source_code=AUDFPWS0223189MWT-BK-ACX0-308278&amp;ref=acx_bty_BK_ACX0_308278_rh_us" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> here</a>; links to first appointments for peer support with Laura<a href="https://ko-fi.com/readyforpolyamory#buyCommissionModal" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> here</a>; and we'll be back at the end of the summer with Season 6.

Season 5 Episode 10: Polyamory and Parenting (Part 2)

"Acknowledging compersion isn't denying our jealousy. You can have a lot of different emotional 'foods' on your 'plate' at once." "We shouldn't beat ourselves up if we don't feel compersion the first day, just like we don't beat up our gardens for not sprouting the day we first plant and water the seeds."  Laura and Dr. Liz Powell talk about how to interpret your jealousy, use it as information to keep yourself moving toward your values even when it's hard, and to see compersion as a non-required but aquirable skill that you can work on if you want to.  Polyamorous references often make jealousy into a sort of boogeyman spectre and compersion into its antidote, and neither of these things are true - pretty much at all. Emotions are a lot messier than the idea of putting them on opposing spectrums makes it sound, and relationships are a lot more fluid than blaming all problems on "you're just jealous" and all solutions on "being more compersive" could ever cover. So join us for today's podcast episode for a discussion of some of the why and some of the how of both parts of this issue.  Ready For Polyamory links that touch on Jealousy and Compersion: https://www.readyforpolyamory.com/post/hard-won-compersion https://www.readyforpolyamory.com/post/podcast-episode-5-compersion https://www.readyforpolyamory.com/post/compersion-is-not-mandatory https://www.readyforpolyamory.com/post/emotional-ergonomics-boundaries-and-self-compassion https://www.readyforpolyamory.com/post/jealousy-insecurity-and-nesting https://www.readyforpolyamory.com/post/season-3-episode-9-practical-solutions-for-jealousy-and-fomo https://www.readyforpolyamory.com/post/but-don-t-you-get-jealous https://www.readyforpolyamory.com/post/jealousy-and-hierarchy Link to Dr. Liz's compersion slides and worksheets that they were kind enough to make available: https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/15wgY-uA33jwiHXZ80y7tfYXQKRiIEOLK Dr. Liz is a sex educator, therapist, speaker, and author who works with singles, couples, and polycules across the sexual spectra to improve their lives - including the sexual portions of them. They work with anyone who wants to cultivate healthy, consent-driven, and autonomy-focused relationships, although non-monogamists, non-binary folx, kinksters, and queerdos are a special focus. You can learn more about their therapy practice (licensed in CA and OR) and coaching at their site, become a backer of their Patreon for early access and exclusive content at their Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/drliz, buy their book "Building Open Relationships" here or follow their social media for more information on their future work. The Indiegogo for the audiobook version of their book Building Open Relationships is running now, check it out: https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/building-open-relationships-audiobook#/ As always the Ready for Polyamory blog is at www.readyforpolyamory.com; you can find Laura at Twitter @lauracb88 and IG and TikTok @readyforpolyamory; the Ready for Polyamory facebook group at facebook.com/groups/readyforpolyamory, links to peer support sessions with Laura here, and the Ready for Polyamory Audiobook here, as well as paperback and Kindle on Amazon. Special Guest: Dr. Liz Powell.

"Acknowledging compersion isn't denying our jealousy. You can have a lot of different emotional 'foods' on your 'plate' at once." "We shouldn't beat ourselves up if we don't feel compersion the first day, just like we don't beat up our gardens for not sprouting the day we first plant and water the seeds." Laura and Dr. Liz Powell talk about how to interpret your jealousy, use it as information to keep yourself moving toward your values even when it's hard, and to see compersion as a non-required but aquirable skill that you can work on if you want to. Polyamorous references often make jealousy into a sort of boogeyman spectre and compersion into its antidote, and neither of these things are true - pretty much at all. Emotions are a lot messier than the idea of putting them on opposing spectrums makes it sound, and relationships are a lot more fluid than blaming all problems on "you're just jealous" and all solutions on "being more compersive" could ever cover. So join us for today's podcast episode for a discussion of some of the why and some of the how of both parts of this issue. Ready For Polyamory links that touch on Jealousy and Compersion: <a href="https://www.readyforpolyamory.com/post/hard-won-compersion" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.readyforpolyamory.com/post/hard-won-compersion</a> <a href="https://www.readyforpolyamory.com/post/podcast-episode-5-compersion" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.readyforpolyamory.com/post/podcast-episode-5-compersion</a> <a href="https://www.readyforpolyamory.com/post/compersion-is-not-mandatory" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.readyforpolyamory.com/post/compersion-is-not-mandatory</a> <a href="https://www.readyforpolyamory.com/post/emotional-ergonomics-boundaries-and-self-compassion" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.readyforpolyamory.com/post/emotional-ergonomics-boundaries-and-self-compassion</a> <a href="https://www.readyforpolyamory.com/post/jealousy-insecurity-and-nesting" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.readyforpolyamory.com/post/jealousy-insecurity-and-nesting</a> <a href="https://www.readyforpolyamory.com/post/season-3-episode-9-practical-solutions-for-jealousy-and-fomo" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.readyforpolyamory.com/post/season-3-episode-9-practical-solutions-for-jealousy-and-fomo</a> <a href="https://www.readyforpolyamory.com/post/but-don-t-you-get-jealous" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.readyforpolyamory.com/post/but-don-t-you-get-jealous</a> <a href="https://www.readyforpolyamory.com/post/jealousy-and-hierarchy" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.readyforpolyamory.com/post/jealousy-and-hierarchy</a> Link to Dr. Liz's compersion slides and worksheets that they were kind enough to make available: <a href="https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/15wgY-uA33jwiHXZ80y7tfYXQKRiIEOLK" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/15wgY-uA33jwiHXZ80y7tfYXQKRiIEOLK</a> Dr. Liz is a sex educator, therapist, speaker, and author who works with singles, couples, and polycules across the sexual spectra to improve their lives - including the sexual portions of them. They work with anyone who wants to cultivate healthy, consent-driven, and autonomy-focused relationships, although non-monogamists, non-binary folx, kinksters, and queerdos are a special focus. You can learn more about their therapy practice (licensed in CA and OR) and coaching at their site, become a backer of their Patreon for early access and exclusive content at their Patreon at <a href="https://www.patreon.com/drliz" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.patreon.com/drliz</a>, buy their book "Building Open Relationships" <a href="https://drlizpowell.com/buildingopenrelationshipsbook/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a> or follow their social media for more information on their future work. The Indiegogo for the audiobook version of their book Building Open Relationships is running now, check it out: <a href="https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/building-open-relationships-audiobook#/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/building-open-relationships-audiobook#/</a> As always the Ready for Polyamory blog is at <a href="http://www.readyforpolyamory.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.readyforpolyamory.com</a>; you can find Laura at Twitter @lauracb88 and IG and TikTok @readyforpolyamory; the Ready for Polyamory facebook group at <a href="http://facebook.com/groups/readyforpolyamory" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">facebook.com/groups/readyforpolyamory</a>, links to peer support sessions with Laura <a href="https://ko-fi.com/readyforpolyamory/shop#buyCommissionModal" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>, and the Ready for Polyamory Audiobook <a href="https://www.audible.com/pd/B0B12KZFYR/?source_code=AUDFPWS0223189MWT-BK-ACX0-308278&amp;ref=acx_bty_BK_ACX0_308278_rh_us" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>, as well as paperback and Kindle <a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09F1KNLTQ" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">on Amazon</a>. Special Guest: Dr. Liz Powell.

Season 5 Episode 9: Compersion & Jealousy

"I really think we could de-escalate the use of de-escalation as a term. Let's talk about transitions and changes maybe instead. It's more accurate." "De-escalating literally implies stepping down, a level lower, that something is less or worse, but often what is happening is a re-calibration so that relationships suit the needs of the people rather than preferencing a label over the humans using it." Many polyamorous and other nonmonogamous people (as well as some monogamous folks, especially separating coparents) are beginning to refer to major relationship changes or ends as de-escalations, regardless of the kind or intensity or direction of the change in the relationship. Laura and Roy of Open Relating talk about the mononormative implications of "break up" that seem to be driving this within the polyam community, and about alternative frameworks that don't give so much preference to relationships that are consistently romantic and sexual over long periods of time - because change is the only certainty in long term relating.  The RfP blog on deescalation: https://www.readyforpolyamory.com/post/why-de-escalation Roy Graff is a relationship coach and trainee psychotherapist based in London, who works with individuals, dyads, and polycules of various configurations and relationship styles. You can find Roy at [openrelating.love](openrelating.love) and see his upcoming in person and digital events; he runs a digital support session and London, UK based in person events. His Instagram and Twitter are @openrelating As always, you can find the Ready for Polyamory blog at www.readyforpolyamory.com; Laura at Twitter @lauracb88 and IG and TikTok @readyforpolyamory; the Ready for Polyamory facebook group at facebook.com/groups/readyforpolyamory, links to peer support sessions with Laura here, and the Ready for Polyamory Audiobook here, as well as paperback and Kindle on Amazon. 

"I really think we could de-escalate the use of de-escalation as a term. Let's talk about transitions and changes maybe instead. It's more accurate." "De-escalating literally implies stepping down, a level lower, that something is less or worse, but often what is happening is a re-calibration so that relationships suit the needs of the people rather than preferencing a label over the humans using it." Many polyamorous and other nonmonogamous people (as well as some monogamous folks, especially separating coparents) are beginning to refer to major relationship changes or ends as de-escalations, regardless of the kind or intensity or direction of the change in the relationship. Laura and Roy of Open Relating talk about the mononormative implications of "break up" that seem to be driving this within the polyam community, and about alternative frameworks that don't give so much preference to relationships that are consistently romantic and sexual over long periods of time - because change is the only certainty in long term relating. The RfP blog on deescalation: <a href="https://www.readyforpolyamory.com/post/why-de-escalation" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.readyforpolyamory.com/post/why-de-escalation</a> Roy Graff is a relationship coach and trainee psychotherapist based in London, who works with individuals, dyads, and polycules of various configurations and relationship styles. You can find Roy at [openrelating.love](openrelating.love) and see his upcoming in person and digital events; he runs a digital support session and London, UK based in person events. His Instagram and Twitter are @openrelating As always, you can find the Ready for Polyamory blog at <a href="http://www.readyforpolyamory.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.readyforpolyamory.com</a>; Laura at Twitter @lauracb88 and IG and TikTok @readyforpolyamory; the Ready for Polyamory facebook group at <a href="http://facebook.com/groups/readyforpolyamory" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">facebook.com/groups/readyforpolyamory</a>, links to <a href="https://ko-fi.com/readyforpolyamory/shop#buyCommissionModal" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">peer support sessions with Laura here</a>, and the Ready for Polyamory <a href="https://www.audible.com/pd/B0B12KZFYR/?source_code=AUDFPWS0223189MWT-BK-ACX0-308278&amp;ref=acx_bty_BK_ACX0_308278_rh_us" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Audiobook here,</a> as well as paperback and Kindle <a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09F1KNLTQ" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">on Amazon</a>.

Season 5 Episode 8: De-escalations

"The purpose of a pride flag is unification and visibility for the represented group - and the current polyamory flag does neither."  "If you say polyamory or kink or leather can't be at pride 'for the kids,' then it's your choice where to bring them, not our responsibility to celebrate differently for your comfort." In today's episode, Laura talks to Kristian of Polyamproud, the not-for-profit tryign to update polyamory's pride flag, about the polyam flag, pride parades, the purpose of pride, history behind different Pride events, and why any of this is important in the first place. We also have a pleasant little vent about people trying to gatekeep who can attend Pride events and how and why, and there is a bit more foul language than usual on my (Laura's) part in that bit, because as those of you who follow my Twitter (lauracb88) know, I really can't stand the "every Pride event must be appropriate for my five year old and my banker" crowd.  Essentially, we're here, many of us are queer, and we'd like a better flag, please, and today we talk about why. I hope you enjoy the ride. There's a lot of good background info on this at polyamproud's site listed below, and at their [linktree here](linktr.ee/polyamproud). Polyamproud is a volunteer-operated not-for-profit organization aimed at updating polyamory’s pride flag. Focusing on representation, inclusivity, and transparency, polyamproud is dedicated to ensuring as many polyamorous and non-monogamous people as possible have their voice heard in the democratic selection of an all-new pride flag. You can find them at [polyamproud.com](polyamproud.com) or @polyamproud on Instagram and Twitter. In Ready for Polyamory news, the AUDIOBOOK IS HERE!! I'm excited about it and I know podcast listeners are a big chunk of who asked me about when it would be available in audio, so I'm glad to say, now! As always, you can visit the blog for weekly new posts or our archive of 250+ articles on polyamory at www.readyforpolyamory.com, and follow @readyforpolyamory on Instagram and Tiktok, as well as following the facebook page or joining the [Group](www.facebook.com/groups/readyforpolyamory).  Peer support sessions are available, to book a single session to meet and see if we're a good fit use the link at my linktree or here or if you know you'd like to work with me longer term, send an inquiry to readyforpolyamory@gmail.com and we'll discuss a plan that meets your needs. 

"The purpose of a pride flag is unification and visibility for the represented group - and the current polyamory flag does neither." "If you say polyamory or kink or leather can't be at pride 'for the kids,' then it's your choice where to bring them, not our responsibility to celebrate differently for your comfort." In today's episode, Laura talks to Kristian of Polyamproud, the not-for-profit tryign to update polyamory's pride flag, about the polyam flag, pride parades, the purpose of pride, history behind different Pride events, and why any of this is important in the first place. We also have a pleasant little vent about people trying to gatekeep who can attend Pride events and how and why, and there is a bit more foul language than usual on my (Laura's) part in that bit, because as those of you who follow my Twitter (lauracb88) know, I really can't stand the "every Pride event must be appropriate for my five year old and my banker" crowd. Essentially, we're here, many of us are queer, and we'd like a better flag, please, and today we talk about why. I hope you enjoy the ride. There's a lot of good background info on this at polyamproud's site listed below, and at their [linktree here](<a href="http://linktr.ee/polyamproud" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">linktr.ee/polyamproud</a>). Polyamproud is a volunteer-operated not-for-profit organization aimed at updating polyamory’s pride flag. Focusing on representation, inclusivity, and transparency, polyamproud is dedicated to ensuring as many polyamorous and non-monogamous people as possible have their voice heard in the democratic selection of an all-new pride flag. You can find them at [<a href="http://polyamproud.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">polyamproud.com</a>](<a href="http://polyamproud.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">polyamproud.com</a>) or @polyamproud on Instagram and Twitter. In Ready for Polyamory news, the <a href="https://www.audible.com/pd/Ready-for-Polyamory-Audiobook/B0B12KZFYR?source_code=AUDFPWS0223189MWT-BK-ACX0-308278&amp;ref=acx_bty_BK_ACX0_308278_rh_us" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">AUDIOBOOK IS HERE!!</a> I'm excited about it and I know podcast listeners are a big chunk of who asked me about when it would be available in audio, so I'm glad to say, now! As always, you can visit the blog for weekly new posts or our archive of 250+ articles on polyamory at <a href="http://www.readyforpolyamory.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.readyforpolyamory.com</a>, and follow @readyforpolyamory on Instagram and Tiktok, as well as following the <a href="https://www.facebook.com/ReadyForPolyamory/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">facebook page</a> or joining the [Group](<a href="http://www.facebook.com/groups/readyforpolyamory" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.facebook.com/groups/readyforpolyamory</a>). Peer support sessions are available, to book a single session to meet and see if we're a good fit use the link at my linktree <a href="https://ko-fi.com/readyforpolyamory/commissions#buyCommissionModal" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">or here</a> or if you know you'd like to work with me longer term, send an inquiry to <a href="mailto:readyforpolyamory@gmail.com" rel="nofollow">readyforpolyamory@gmail.com</a> and we'll discuss a plan that meets your needs.

Season 5 Episode 7: Polyamorous Pride

"Solopolyamory flies in the face of this idea that if you love someone you'll want to be with them 24/7. It's just not true. We're here in defiance of it." "it's about this extreme representation of maintaining your personhood within relationships and re-inforcing that with your lifestyle choices." Today, the podcast discusses solo polyamory - what is it? How do solopolyam people live? What are some of the equivalent changes and balances in a space to accomodate partners that solopolyam partners can make, like the accomodation of partners discussed in our polyam cohabitation episode from Season 4, which ended up being unnecessarily couple-centric.  With details like logistics of Ro's space as an example of how to lay out your boundaries for partners who come to your space, roommates and shared spaces, and answering listener questions that followed off of the cohabitation episode, this episode disambiguated solopolyamorous living for listeners who don't practice their polyamory this way. Ro Moëd is a relationship coach and passionate advocate for polyamory and relationship anarchy awareness. On their instagram (@unapolygetically) they use their background in adult education and linguistics to blend text, video and illustration, in order to cover various topics including conscious relating, solo polyamory, the language we use about relationships, and common issues in non-monogamy. You can also find them on Twitter @unapolygetic and find their coaching calendar at calendly.com/romoed. As always, you can find the Ready for Polyamory blog at www.readyforpolyamory.com, the book at Amazon, Laura on Instagram and TikTok @readyforpolyamory and Twitter @lauracb88. The audiobook has just released and you can find it at audible .

"Solopolyamory flies in the face of this idea that if you love someone you'll want to be with them 24/7. It's just not true. We're here in defiance of it." "it's about this extreme representation of maintaining your personhood within relationships and re-inforcing that with your lifestyle choices." Today, the podcast discusses solo polyamory - what is it? How do solopolyam people live? What are some of the equivalent changes and balances in a space to accomodate partners that solopolyam partners can make, like the accomodation of partners discussed in our polyam cohabitation episode from Season 4, which ended up being unnecessarily couple-centric. With details like logistics of Ro's space as an example of how to lay out your boundaries for partners who come to your space, roommates and shared spaces, and answering listener questions that followed off of the cohabitation episode, this episode disambiguated solopolyamorous living for listeners who don't practice their polyamory this way. Ro Moëd is a relationship coach and passionate advocate for polyamory and relationship anarchy awareness. On their instagram (@unapolygetically) they use their background in adult education and linguistics to blend text, video and illustration, in order to cover various topics including conscious relating, solo polyamory, the language we use about relationships, and common issues in non-monogamy. You can also find them on Twitter @unapolygetic and find their coaching calendar at <a href="http://calendly.com/romoed" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">calendly.com/romoed</a>. As always, you can find the Ready for Polyamory blog at <a href="http://www.readyforpolyamory.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.readyforpolyamory.com</a>, the book at <a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09F1KNLTQ" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Amazon</a>, Laura on Instagram and TikTok @readyforpolyamory and Twitter @lauracb88. The audiobook has just released and you can find it <a href="https://www.audible.com/pd/B0B12KZFYR/?source_code=AUDFPWS0223189MWT-BK-ACX0-308278&amp;ref=acx_bty_BK_ACX0_308278_rh_us" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">at audible </a>.

Season 5 Episode 6: Solo Polyamorous Living

"In this structure now, I have been able to figure out who I am and what I want. That isn't to say I haven't gone on dates - I've tried it - but my polysaturation point really is 1, and this way I have time for myself." "A lot of the time, people don't know what they will want yet - and they say and ask for what makes them feel safe. So it can make sense to not want to date a monogamous person if you're polyam. But also, give each other a chance to see how it works out if the connection is real and you have the emotional space to do it, when this is someone you really like. Because maybe they'll break your heart or you'll break theirs. But maybe you won't." On today's podcast episode, we discuss one of the most contentious segments of the polyamorous community: the Mono + Polyam relationship, where one partner truly feels monogamously oriented but is happy to engage with their polyam partner, who sees others. Phi of the Polyammering Blog and Monocorn Sanctuary facebook group is our guest today, talking about her essential beliefs that mono + polyam relationships work best when everyone approaches them from a relationship anarchist lens, when the monog person is essentially polyamorously-minded but polysaturated at one, and when communication is extremely open between partners.  With a hint of "dating isn't fun, but polycules can be!" and a discussion of how polyamory freed her from codependent patterns in previous relationships where she lost herself in couplehood, Phi shares a lot of intimate relationship history about her last several years in mono + polyam relationships. Phoebe "Phi" Philips of polyammering.blog is a self-proclaimed Monocorn who has been writing, supporting, and educating on begalf of mono plus polyam relationships since 2015. She was recently named one of the top ten creators to follow on TikTok for polyamorous education.Special Guest: Pheobe "Phi" Phillips.

"In this structure now, I have been able to figure out who I am and what I want. That isn't to say I haven't gone on dates - I've tried it - but my polysaturation point really is 1, and this way I have time for myself." "A lot of the time, people don't know what they will want yet - and they say and ask for what makes them feel safe. So it can make sense to not want to date a monogamous person if you're polyam. But also, give each other a chance to see how it works out if the connection is real and you have the emotional space to do it, when this is someone you really like. Because maybe they'll break your heart or you'll break theirs. But maybe you won't." On today's podcast episode, we discuss one of the most contentious segments of the polyamorous community: the Mono + Polyam relationship, where one partner truly feels monogamously oriented but is happy to engage with their polyam partner, who sees others. Phi of the Polyammering Blog and Monocorn Sanctuary facebook group is our guest today, talking about her essential beliefs that mono + polyam relationships work best when everyone approaches them from a relationship anarchist lens, when the monog person is essentially polyamorously-minded but polysaturated at one, and when communication is extremely open between partners. With a hint of "dating isn't fun, but polycules can be!" and a discussion of how polyamory freed her from codependent patterns in previous relationships where she lost herself in couplehood, Phi shares a lot of intimate relationship history about her last several years in mono + polyam relationships. Phoebe "Phi" Philips of polyammering.blog is a self-proclaimed Monocorn who has been writing, supporting, and educating on begalf of mono plus polyam relationships since 2015. She was recently named one of the top ten creators to follow on TikTok for polyamorous education.Special Guest: Pheobe "Phi" Phillips.

Season 5 Episode 5: Mono Plus Polyam Relationships

Today's episode contains frank discussion of sexuality and kink dynamics, listener be aware.  "I feel like no one really talks about the ins and outs of intimacy that involves marks and BDSM dynamics, and it's worth talking about." Laura sits down with Annie Undone to talk about kink dynamics, polyamory from both sides of the slash, the pros and cons of kitchen table and parallel polyam dynamics when combined with kinky relationships,  and the changes that shifts in these dynamics can cause within a polycule.  To read more of Laura's takes on kink &amp; polyamory and deescalating relationships, see these blog posts and past podcast episodes: https://www.readyforpolyamory.com/post/relationship-anarchy-applied-friends-with-benefits-and-play-partners https://www.readyforpolyamory.com/post/combining-d-s-relationships-and-polyamory https://www.readyforpolyamory.com/post/why-de-escalation https://readyforpolyamory.fireside.fm/powerexchange https://readyforpolyamory.fireside.fm/raapplied AnnieUndone is a writer and artist seeking to normalize diverse sexual and love experiences because people deserve to be themselves. She speaks on the topics of polyamory, kink, and queerness. She began this work in earnest as a way to feel more enfranchised around the theme of kink, and then quickly realized that she was also polyamorous. She, her husband, and their partners are sharing their journeys of opening relationships and learning to let in more love so that people feel less alone in their humanity and desires to live outside the box. Follow her on Instagram at @Annie_Undone or join her Patreon here for more content only available to subscribers.  As always, you can find the blog at www.readyforpolyamory.com; the book is available on Amazon in paperback and Kindle formats, and we'd love to have you with us on social media - there's the facebook [page](www.facebook.com/readyforpolyamory) and group www.facebook.com/groups/readyforpolyamory; or Laura is on tiktok and instagram @readyforpolyamory and Twitter @lauracb88. You can help keep the blog and podcast ad-free by becoming a $3/month ko-fi supporter at www.ko-fi.com/readyforpolyamory, and find details about upcoming classes and 1-1 peer support [here](www.readyforpolyamory.com/events). Special Guest: Annie Undone.

Today's episode contains frank discussion of sexuality and kink dynamics, listener be aware. "I feel like no one really talks about the ins and outs of intimacy that involves marks and BDSM dynamics, and it's worth talking about." Laura sits down with Annie Undone to talk about kink dynamics, polyamory from both sides of the slash, the pros and cons of kitchen table and parallel polyam dynamics when combined with kinky relationships, and the changes that shifts in these dynamics can cause within a polycule. To read more of Laura's takes on kink &amp; polyamory and deescalating relationships, see these blog posts and past podcast episodes: <a href="https://www.readyforpolyamory.com/post/relationship-anarchy-applied-friends-with-benefits-and-play-partners" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.readyforpolyamory.com/post/relationship-anarchy-applied-friends-with-benefits-and-play-partners</a> <a href="https://www.readyforpolyamory.com/post/combining-d-s-relationships-and-polyamory" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.readyforpolyamory.com/post/combining-d-s-relationships-and-polyamory</a> <a href="https://www.readyforpolyamory.com/post/why-de-escalation" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.readyforpolyamory.com/post/why-de-escalation</a> <a href="https://readyforpolyamory.fireside.fm/powerexchange" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://readyforpolyamory.fireside.fm/powerexchange</a> <a href="https://readyforpolyamory.fireside.fm/raapplied" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://readyforpolyamory.fireside.fm/raapplied</a> AnnieUndone is a writer and artist seeking to normalize diverse sexual and love experiences because people deserve to be themselves. She speaks on the topics of polyamory, kink, and queerness. She began this work in earnest as a way to feel more enfranchised around the theme of kink, and then quickly realized that she was also polyamorous. She, her husband, and their partners are sharing their journeys of opening relationships and learning to let in more love so that people feel less alone in their humanity and desires to live outside the box. Follow her on Instagram at @Annie_Undone or join her Patreon <a href="https://www.patreon.com/AnnieUndone" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a> for more content only available to subscribers. As always, you can find the blog at <a href="http://www.readyforpolyamory.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.readyforpolyamory.com</a>; the book is available <a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09F1KNLTQ?ref_=pe_3052080_397514860" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">on Amazon</a> in paperback and Kindle formats, and we'd love to have you with us on social media - there's the facebook [page](<a href="http://www.facebook.com/readyforpolyamory" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.facebook.com/readyforpolyamory</a>) and group <a href="http://www.facebook.com/groups/readyforpolyamory" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.facebook.com/groups/readyforpolyamory</a>; or Laura is on tiktok and instagram @readyforpolyamory and Twitter @lauracb88. You can help keep the blog and podcast ad-free by becoming a $3/month ko-fi supporter at <a href="http://www.ko-fi.com/readyforpolyamory" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.ko-fi.com/readyforpolyamory</a>, and find details about upcoming classes and 1-1 peer support [here](<a href="http://www.readyforpolyamory.com/events" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.readyforpolyamory.com/events</a>). Special Guest: Annie Undone.

Season 5 Episode 4: Polyamory and Kink

"Nothing I do ever goes viral, but one of my posts that did pretty well recently said 'I want my polyamory to be less about compersion and more about compassion,' and I think that applies here." The only certainty in any relationship is that there will absolutely be change. Laura's guests this week are polyamorous event coordinators and educators who recognize that from their own experience as well as seeing it in the community they've built online. She sits down with Lea and Shai of Leveled Up Love to talk about changing polycule structures and relationship rules to focus on the needs and growth of the people involved, rather than trying to make people fit a pre-determined structure, and the ways that we can destigmatize this process of change for ourselves to make relationships a space where we the people in them thrive, rather than a task we carry out.  If you want to know more about Shai and Lea after this episode, see their guest page at the podcast site for more details, or visit [Leveled Up Love](www.leveleduplove.com), where they are offering a free 30 Day Trial of their Secure Poly Collective at: www.LeveledUpLove.com/VIP, which includes multiple workshops to support more conscious and sustainable open relationships.  In Ready for Polyamory Housekeeping, there's still time to [get tickets](www.ko-fi.com/readyforpolyamory/shop) to the Polyamory and Parenting class on April 23 (with encore q&amp;a after recording available all week on April 30). As always you can find the blog at [readyforpolyamory.com](www.readyforpolyamory.com), the book at Amazon, and me on Tiktok and Instagram @readyforpolyamory and twitter @lauracb88.  Special Guest: Shai and Lea.

"Nothing I do ever goes viral, but one of my posts that did pretty well recently said 'I want my polyamory to be less about compersion and more about compassion,' and I think that applies here." The only certainty in any relationship is that there will absolutely be change. Laura's guests this week are polyamorous event coordinators and educators who recognize that from their own experience as well as seeing it in the community they've built online. She sits down with Lea and Shai of Leveled Up Love to talk about changing polycule structures and relationship rules to focus on the needs and growth of the people involved, rather than trying to make people fit a pre-determined structure, and the ways that we can destigmatize this process of change for ourselves to make relationships a space where we the people in them thrive, rather than a task we carry out. If you want to know more about Shai and Lea after this episode, see their guest page at the podcast site for more details, or visit [Leveled Up Love](<a href="http://www.leveleduplove.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.leveleduplove.com</a>), where they are offering a free 30 Day Trial of their Secure Poly Collective at: <a href="http://www.LeveledUpLove.com/VIP" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.LeveledUpLove.com/VIP</a>, which includes multiple workshops to support more conscious and sustainable open relationships. In Ready for Polyamory Housekeeping, there's still time to [get tickets](<a href="http://www.ko-fi.com/readyforpolyamory/shop" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.ko-fi.com/readyforpolyamory/shop</a>) to the Polyamory and Parenting class on April 23 (with encore q&amp;a after recording available all week on April 30). As always you can find the blog at [<a href="http://readyforpolyamory.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">readyforpolyamory.com</a>](<a href="http://www.readyforpolyamory.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.readyforpolyamory.com</a>), the book <a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09F1KNLTQ" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">at Amazon</a>, and me on Tiktok and Instagram @readyforpolyamory and twitter @lauracb88. Special Guest: Shai and Lea.

Season 5 Episode 3: Change and Balance in your CNM Ecosystem

"I'm relationship style agnostic - I don't think there's one right way to do relationships, but gosh are there a lot of really crappy ways to do relationships." On today's episode, Laura and Dr. Joli Hamilton, a certified sex educator and jealousy researcher whose writing focuses on couples for whom nonmonogamy works for some phases of their lives but not all phases, discuss what lessons nonmonogamy can teach people who decide to intentionally pursue monogamy instead. This is the episode you can share with your sister, cousin, or monogamous friend who wants to "get it" but isn't sure they do - it's about how the personal growth and lessons of being nonmonogamous (forever or temporarily) can improve our interpersonal connections with friends as well as a partner.  They chat about communication, gender roles and scheduling, discovering how many cultural scripts you've bought into, trauma and co-regulation, and the joys and challenges of building poorly defined and unlabeled relationships with non-romantic partners.  Find Dr. Joli Hamilton at drjoli_hamilton on Instagram or listentojoli.com, or read more about her on the guest page on the podcast's website.  Coming up later in April, join Laura for a class on Polyamory and Parenting running live on April 23 at 3 pm Eastern, or with a second live q&amp;a on April 30 at 11:30 pm Eastern following a week of the class recording being available to purchasers; tickets are available at https://ko-fi.com/readyforpolyamory/shop. As always, you can find the blog at www.readyforpolyamory.com, the facebook group at www.facebook.com/groups/readyforpolyamory; Laura on tiktok and instagram @readyforpolyamory or Twitter @lauracb88. Special Guest: Dr. Joli Hamilton.

"I'm relationship style agnostic - I don't think there's one right way to do relationships, but gosh are there a lot of really crappy ways to do relationships." On today's episode, Laura and Dr. Joli Hamilton, a certified sex educator and jealousy researcher whose writing focuses on couples for whom nonmonogamy works for some phases of their lives but not all phases, discuss what lessons nonmonogamy can teach people who decide to intentionally pursue monogamy instead. This is the episode you can share with your sister, cousin, or monogamous friend who wants to "get it" but isn't sure they do - it's about how the personal growth and lessons of being nonmonogamous (forever or temporarily) can improve our interpersonal connections with friends as well as a partner. They chat about communication, gender roles and scheduling, discovering how many cultural scripts you've bought into, trauma and co-regulation, and the joys and challenges of building poorly defined and unlabeled relationships with non-romantic partners. Find Dr. Joli Hamilton at drjoli_hamilton on Instagram or <a href="http://listentojoli.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">listentojoli.com</a>, or read more about her on the guest page on the podcast's website. Coming up later in April, join Laura for a class on Polyamory and Parenting running live on April 23 at 3 pm Eastern, or with a second live q&amp;a on April 30 at 11:30 pm Eastern following a week of the class recording being available to purchasers; tickets are available at <a href="https://ko-fi.com/readyforpolyamory/shop" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://ko-fi.com/readyforpolyamory/shop</a>. As always, you can find the blog at <a href="http://www.readyforpolyamory.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.readyforpolyamory.com</a>, the facebook group at <a href="http://www.facebook.com/groups/readyforpolyamory" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.facebook.com/groups/readyforpolyamory</a>; Laura on tiktok and instagram @readyforpolyamory or Twitter @lauracb88. Special Guest: Dr. Joli Hamilton.

Season 5 Episode 2: Polyamory Advice Is Relationship Advice

Welcome to the Ready for Polyamory Podast! Your charming host, Laura Boyle, will be talking to members of an ever more illustrious group of guests to present the concepts and nuances of Consensual Non-Monogamy, Polyamory and relationship skills in general. Like many polyamorous authorities, she has both mixed educational background (in English Literature, Sexual Diversity Studies, and Law) and personal experience (15 years at the time of this writing) in the field of consensual non-monogamy, and ten in polyamorous relationships more specifically, and this podcast is for the Big General Concepts that don't fit the nerdy detail of the blog (<a href="http://www.readyforpolyamory.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.readyforpolyamory.com</a>), or the bite-sized format of social media. It's an ongoing examination of polyamorous love, strengths, and challenges, as seen by a 30-something relationship and sex educator and coach.

The Ready For Polyamory Podcast

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