This podcast episode is about business. Specifically, My Business. And the fact that it’s not working. Warren Buffet is the third richest person in the world…he has owned and started businesses that have not worked.  Here is one of my favorite Warren Buffet quotes: “In a chronically leaking boat, energy devoted to changing vessels is more productive than energy devoted to patching leaks.”– Warren Buffett You know that I have changed my mind, changed my life, changed my name, changed my business and its name.  You know that my foundational belief is “If we don’t change, nothing changes.” I have hung on for several years in a chronically leaking boat. I’ve tried several stints of patching leaks to keep from sinking. Changing vessels is more productive for me now than patching leaks. I always considered the podcast, live videos, and articles to be my passion and a business.  The business part was coaching and creating paid classes and groups to support, inspire, and educate women who have escaped domestic abuse. Paid classes and groups have not been supported.  In spite of my efforts, this business is not viable. The cost to create what I offer for free is almost $1,000 a month.  I thought by this time I would generate enough income to at least break even.  That has not been the case.  The bottom line is that I can no longer justify staying in this chronically leaking boat. This is the final episode of SHATTERPROOF Thriving After Domestic Abuse Podcast. Listen to the podcast to learn more about my decision to take the fork in the road. I do intend to continue building an online community. My focus will be on personal growth for women over 50.  Content and lessons will apply to creating our authentic lives after domestic abuse, but that will not be the primary focus. If you are a member of the open or secret SHATTERPROOF Thriving After Domestic Abuse FB pages, or The Second 53 Years, and you’re interested in continuing to follow me, please like my personal page, Facebook Mickie Zada   I will continue posting content there. I appreciate the support I have received from this community.  As one of my coaches told me, the only thing consistent in Life is change.  It keeps us growing and moving forward.  I am open, ready, and willing to embrace whatever new venture Divine Intent is leading me into.  Choose to like my personal Facebook page and invite your friends to join that community, too. Join me in the next growth spurt…thank you for listening and for following me to Facebook Mickie Zada

This podcast episode is about business. Specifically, My Business. And the fact that it’s not working. Warren Buffet is the third richest person in the world…he has owned and started businesses that have not worked.  Here is one of my favorite Warren Buffet quotes: “In a chronically leaking boat, energy devoted to changing vessels is more productive than energy devoted to patching leaks.”– Warren Buffett You know that I have changed my mind, changed my life, changed my name, changed my business and its name.  You know that my foundational belief is “If we don’t change, nothing changes.” I have hung on for several years in a chronically leaking boat. I’ve tried several stints of patching leaks to keep from sinking. Changing vessels is more productive for me now than patching leaks. I always considered the podcast, live videos, and articles to be my passion and a business.  The business part was coaching and creating paid classes and groups to support, inspire, and educate women who have escaped domestic abuse. Paid classes and groups have not been supported.  In spite of my efforts, this business is not viable. The cost to create what I offer for free is almost $1,000 a month.  I thought by this time I would generate enough income to at least break even.  That has not been the case.  The bottom line is that I can no longer justify staying in this chronically leaking boat. This is the final episode of SHATTERPROOF Thriving After Domestic Abuse Podcast. Listen to the podcast to learn more about my decision to take the fork in the road. I do intend to continue building an online community. My focus will be on personal growth for women over 50.  Content and lessons will apply to creating our authentic lives after domestic abuse, but that will not be the primary focus. If you are a member of the open or secret SHATTERPROOF Thriving After Domestic Abuse FB pages, or The Second 53 Years, and you’re interested in continuing to follow me, please like my personal page, <a href="https://www.facebook.com/mickie.zada" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Facebook Mickie Zada</a>   I will continue posting content there. I appreciate the support I have received from this community.  As one of my coaches told me, the only thing consistent in Life is change.  It keeps us growing and moving forward.  I am open, ready, and willing to embrace whatever new venture Divine Intent is leading me into.  Choose to like my personal Facebook page and invite your friends to join that community, too. Join me in the next growth spurt…thank you for listening and for following me to <a href="http://www.facebook.com/Mickie.Zada" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Facebook Mickie Zada</a>

Ending SHATTERPROOF Thriving After Domestic Abuse Podcast

My guest today is Jitka Bernardova.  Jitka grew up in the Czech Republic behind the Iron Curtain. Despite the confines of living in communism with very controlling parents, she was a very happy and active child. Her parents were very strict and she didn’t feel loved enough, so she was constantly seeking love from babies and animals. Jitka loved to play outside and take care of all the neighbors’ kids on the street.  She was so blinded by looking for love that she didn’t see the problems she was taking on when she married an alcoholic man at the age of 18. His drinking got better and then it got worse…then it got better, and then it got much worse. Jitka discovered it was not ONLY drinking that he was doing.  He was also cheating on her: Cheating with her friends!  To make matters worse, everyone knew (even her parents) and no one told her. That was emotionally devastating and it was the catalyst to motivate her to know she couldn’t live like that anymore.  Jitka divorced her husband after 24 years of marriage. Her kids were all grown up and on their own at that time. The divorce left her suddenly alone and not needed. Being the strong woman she is, Jitka didn’t look too far ahead: She chose to rebuild her life day by day.  She focused on herself, she focused on creating a life she wanted to live.  She began a well-planned program of walking on the beach, working out, adding a healthy diet, meditating, learning English, learning to drive and reading. She became a different person. she became stronger, happier and healthier than she had ever been. Reach out to Jitka at New Stronger Me

My guest today is Jitka Bernardova.  Jitka grew up in the Czech Republic behind the Iron Curtain. Despite the confines of living in communism with very controlling parents, she was a very happy and active child. Her parents were very strict and she didn’t feel loved enough, so she was constantly seeking love from babies and animals. Jitka loved to play outside and take care of all the neighbors’ kids on the street.  She was so blinded by looking for love that she didn’t see the problems she was taking on when she married an alcoholic man at the age of 18. His drinking got better and then it got worse…then it got better, and then it got much worse. Jitka discovered it was not ONLY drinking that he was doing.  He was also cheating on her: Cheating with her friends!  To make matters worse, everyone knew (even her parents) and no one told her. That was emotionally devastating and it was the catalyst to motivate her to know she couldn’t live like that anymore.  Jitka divorced her husband after 24 years of marriage. Her kids were all grown up and on their own at that time. The divorce left her suddenly alone and not needed. Being the strong woman she is, Jitka didn’t look too far ahead: She chose to rebuild her life day by day.  She focused on herself, she focused on creating a life she wanted to live.  She began a well-planned program of walking on the beach, working out, adding a healthy diet, meditating, learning English, learning to drive and reading. She became a different person. she became stronger, happier and healthier than she had ever been. Reach out to Jitka at <a href="http://newstrongerme.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">New Stronger Me</a>

I Created A New Stronger Me! Jitka Bernardova

Mickie Zada

You never know the influence you have on someone’s life.  As you deal with your reality, feeling like you are drowning in emotions and responsibility, someone else’s view of you is that of inspiration, strength, and success. My cousin died last week.  She was a favorite cousin, my big sister by proxy.   She was the one I ran to when I left my abuser for the very first time. At that time, she was recently divorced, had emotional and financial responsibility for two young sons; she was a full-time Master’s Program student and worked full time.  Her life was on overload.  I’m sure she felt like she was at the end of her rope. Then I showed up. In crisis. To me, she was a savior.  A strong woman in charge of her life, moving forward on her dreams, dealing with responsibilities, and creating a safe, healthy life for herself and her sons. No matter how shattered your life may feel to you, to someone else you may be the exact inspiration another woman needs.  That’s what my cousin was for me.

You never know the influence you have on someone’s life.  As you deal with your reality, feeling like you are drowning in emotions and responsibility, someone else’s view of you is that of inspiration, strength, and success. My cousin died last week.  She was a favorite cousin, my big sister by proxy.   She was the one I ran to when I left my abuser for the very first time. At that time, she was recently divorced, had emotional and financial responsibility for two young sons; she was a full-time Master’s Program student and worked full time.  Her life was on overload.  I’m sure she felt like she was at the end of her rope. Then I showed up. In crisis. To me, she was a savior.  A strong woman in charge of her life, moving forward on her dreams, dealing with responsibilities, and creating a safe, healthy life for herself and her sons. No matter how shattered your life may feel to you, to someone else you may be the exact inspiration another woman needs.  That’s what my cousin was for me.

You May Be the Exact Inspiration Another Woman Needs with Mickie Zada

People often see the victim of narcissistic abuse as “crazy” and full of fear and doubt.  The narcissist shows up cool, calm and collected.  Right? Why is that?  Because the narcissist has the ability to make their victims responsible for any and every negative thing.  Even things they make up…using our words!  They convince us we are crazy.  They convince us we are the abusers!  They separate realities and stay calm, while the light us on fire.  You are not, and were not, crazy.  You were abused. Now it’s our choice to change our perspective, to accept that building our own safe, happy and authentic live is OUR responsibility.  The abuse was real.  We did not deserve it.  We did not ask for it or enjoy it.  Now it’s our choice to use that experience to grow, and to help ourselves and others heal.  

People often see the victim of narcissistic abuse as “crazy” and full of fear and doubt.  The narcissist shows up cool, calm and collected.  Right? Why is that? Because the narcissist has the ability to make their victims responsible for any and every negative thing.  Even things they make up…using our words!  They convince us we are crazy.  They convince us we are the abusers!  They separate realities and stay calm, while the light us on fire. You are not, and were not, crazy.  You were abused. Now it’s our choice to change our perspective, to accept that building our own safe, happy and authentic live is OUR responsibility.  The abuse was real.  We did not deserve it.  We did not ask for it or enjoy it.  Now it’s our choice to use that experience to grow, and to help ourselves and others heal.

You're Not Crazy; You Were Abused

Laurel Anne Hill

Laurel Anne Hill grew up in San Francisco, with more dreams of an adventure than good sense or money. Her close brushes with death, love of family, respect for honor and belief in a higher power influence her writing and life.  Her early home life included a happy-drunk Grandfather and a mean-drunk Dad:  So mean and violent that she, her Mother, Grandmother, and brother often hid in the basement to escape his wrath.  This life pattern, of course, set the stage for the first marriage to an abuser.  It also created fertile ground in her mind to create heroic female characters and alternate Universes.  At the age of 5, before she could read or write, she dictated stories to her older sister and used paper cut-outs as an illustration! Her journey through childhood violence and domestic emotional abuse led Laurel Anne to become a strong, creative, talented and honored author.  Laurel Anne’s best-selling book, The Engine Woman’s Light, has won prestigious awards in the category of steampunk…which she explains is a fascinating alternative literary Universe.  Laurel Ann’s diverse life experience has inspired her creative mind in many ways, as you’ll discover in this podcast conversation.  Learn more about Laurel Anne Hill at Laurel Anne Hill and on Facebook at Facebook: Laurel Hill Order her book on Amazon  Facebook: Laurel Hill 

Laurel Anne Hill grew up in San Francisco, with more dreams of an adventure than good sense or money. Her close brushes with death, love of family, respect for honor and belief in a higher power influence her writing and life. Her early home life included a happy-drunk Grandfather and a mean-drunk Dad:  So mean and violent that she, her Mother, Grandmother, and brother often hid in the basement to escape his wrath. This life pattern, of course, set the stage for the first marriage to an abuser.  It also created fertile ground in her mind to create heroic female characters and alternate Universes.  At the age of 5, before she could read or write, she dictated stories to her older sister and used paper cut-outs as an illustration! Her journey through childhood violence and domestic emotional abuse led Laurel Anne to become a strong, creative, talented and honored author. Laurel Anne’s best-selling book, The Engine Woman’s Light, has won prestigious awards in the category of steampunk…which she explains is a fascinating alternative literary Universe.  Laurel Ann’s diverse life experience has inspired her creative mind in many ways, as you’ll discover in this podcast conversation. Learn more about Laurel Anne Hill at <a href="http://www.LaurelAnneHill.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Laurel Anne Hill</a> and on Facebook at <a href="https://www.facebook.com/laurel.hill.7" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Facebook: Laurel Hill</a> Order her book on Amazon  <a href="https://www.facebook.com/laurel.hill.7" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Facebook: Laurel Hill</a>

Childhood Violence and Emotional Domestic Abuse did not Deter this Dynamic Author with Laurel Anne Hill

Riana Milne

It was the lies and emotional abuse that lead my guest to research and discover that BOTH her Exs had extreme childhood trauma.   She said “This fact was something NOT taught in a triple Masters program in Psychology!”  After 2 years of research, she discovered childhood trauma leads to emotional abuse and that made total sense, for her healing and the healing of her psychotherapy and coaching clients as well.   My guest is Riana Milne.  She is a certified, Global Life, Dating &amp; Relationship Coach, a #1 best selling author, and podcast host.  Because so many women want to know WHY things went so bad when they were great in the beginning, Riana has developed, and she presents for us, the TEN TRAUMAS that are experienced during childhood that affect an adult later in life and in their love relationships.  Riana also offers 3 free gifts to listeners of SHATTERPROOF Thriving After Domestic Abuse podcast.  All are available on her website – www.RianaMilne.com  1) Free Life &amp; Love Transformation Strategy Session  (a $500 value for Singles; a $1000 value for Couples); FREE when you mention this interview! 2) Free Chapter downloads of both her books; LIVE &amp; LOVE Beyond Your Dreams. 3) Free eBook on this topic: found at – www.HavetheLoveYouDeserve.com

It was the lies and emotional abuse that lead my guest to research and discover that BOTH her Exs had extreme childhood trauma.  She said “This fact was something NOT taught in a triple Masters program in Psychology!” After 2 years of research, she discovered childhood trauma leads to emotional abuse and that made total sense, for her healing and the healing of her psychotherapy and coaching clients as well.   My guest is Riana Milne.  She is a certified, Global Life, Dating &amp; Relationship Coach, a #1 best selling author, and podcast host. Because so many women want to know WHY things went so bad when they were great in the beginning, Riana has developed, and she presents for us, the TEN TRAUMAS that are experienced during childhood that affect an adult later in life and in their love relationships. Riana also offers 3 free gifts to listeners of SHATTERPROOF Thriving After Domestic Abuse podcast. All are available on her website – <a href="http://www.RianaMilne.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.RianaMilne.com</a> 1) Free Life &amp; Love Transformation Strategy Session  (a $500 value for Singles; a $1000 value for Couples); FREE when you mention this interview! 2) Free Chapter downloads of both her books; LIVE &amp; LOVE Beyond Your Dreams. 3) Free eBook on this topic: found at – <a href="http://www.HavetheLoveYouDeserve.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.HavetheLoveYouDeserve.com</a>

Lessons in Life and Love with Riana Milne

Her abusive marriage mirrored a made-for-TV movie.  Then she decided that God must see so much strength in her; she shifted her focus from victim to thriver.  Kim Lyons describes domestic abuse as emotional terrorism and says what we all know to be true: If you haven’t lived it, you just don’t get it!  Thrivers are a sorority of sisterhood. (Not a sorority in which we want to be Members, but in a sisterhood of support, encouragement, and inspiration.)  Now Kim works with people who want to harness their full power in life, with no limits!   Reach out to Kim and learn more about her on FaceBook at https://www.facebook.com/platinumkimmie https://www.facebook.com/groups/hardcorebodybuildersfitnessfreaks/  or on Linked in at https://www.linkedin.com/in/strengthcoachkimmie/   "​"If you're working hard but not accomplishing your goal, you don't change the goal, you change the strategy!"​ ~Kim Lyons

Her abusive marriage mirrored a made-for-TV movie.  Then she decided that God must see so much strength in her; she shifted her focus from victim to thriver. Kim Lyons describes domestic abuse as emotional terrorism and says what we all know to be true: If you haven’t lived it, you just don’t get it!  Thrivers are a sorority of sisterhood. (Not a sorority in which we want to be Members, but in a sisterhood of support, encouragement, and inspiration.) Now Kim works with people who want to harness their full power in life, with no limits! Reach out to Kim and learn more about her on FaceBook at <a href="https://www.facebook.com/platinumkimmie" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.facebook.com/platinumkimmie</a><a href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/hardcorebodybuildersfitnessfreaks/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> https://www.facebook.com/groups/hardcorebodybuildersfitnessfreaks/</a> or on Linked in at <a href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/strengthcoachkimmie/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.linkedin.com/in/strengthcoachkimmie/</a>   "​"If you're working hard but not accomplishing your goal, you don't change the goal, you change the strategy!"​ ~Kim Lyons

God Must See So Much Strength in Me

Many of us can relate to Rena Romano’s statement that for many years, on the outside her life looked perfect.  She was a successful business woman, friends were envious, her Mother was proud.  On the inside she was dying, a broken soul.  Harboring a horrific secret since childhood, no one knew the pain she was suffering.  Then she chose to become a Thriver: she created and embraced her truth that there is always an upside no matter what you’ve been through.  In October 2009 Rena was a featured guest on the Oprah Winfrey Show where she shared her long-kept secret of childhood sexual abuse.  She also is a TEDx speaker.  Her TEDx talk is titled “Healing Sexual Abuse can start with one word.”  You can watch her TEDx talk on YouTube.  Learn more about Rena Romano and her program, The THRIVE Perspective, listen to her podcast and order her books, at www.RenaRomano.com

Many of us can relate to Rena Romano’s statement that for many years, on the outside her life looked perfect.  She was a successful business woman, friends were envious, her Mother was proud. On the inside she was dying, a broken soul. Harboring a horrific secret since childhood, no one knew the pain she was suffering. Then she chose to become a Thriver: she created and embraced her truth that there is always an upside no matter what you’ve been through. In October 2009 Rena was a featured guest on the Oprah Winfrey Show where she shared her long-kept secret of childhood sexual abuse. She also is a TEDx speaker.  Her TEDx talk is titled “Healing Sexual Abuse can start with one word.”  You can watch her TEDx talk on YouTube. Learn more about Rena Romano and her program, The THRIVE Perspective, listen to her podcast and order her books, at <a href="http://www.RenaRomano.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.RenaRomano.com</a>

There is Always an Upside

Christine Cristina

Raise your hand if you have you said this about your abuser: “How foolish I was.  I thought he was perfect.”?  My hand is up!  Christine Cristina shares her story of shocking awareness of being undermined by a narcissist.  She sold her home and her business because he encouraged her to live the life he had created.  They decided to build a new home.  She chose to travel with him, to spend a lot of time on his boat, to give up her own life to embrace his. She was 60 years old.  She had never been married.  Her gorgeous gown was purchased and fitted.  Wedding invitations were in the mail.  Then, he called to say he was breaking up with her.  She was not the woman he thought she was.  (!!!!)  Her life unraveled.  She spent four months on the floor crying.  She was suicidal.  She was Shattered.  Christine is a thriver.  With support from friends and through her faith, she became Unstoppable, Unlimited, Unsinkable.  Shatterproof.  Read more details about her unique experience in her book When Life Unravels.   Reach out to Christine at www.WhenLifeUnravels.com

Raise your hand if you have you said this about your abuser: “How foolish I was.  I thought he was perfect.”?  My hand is up! Christine Cristina shares her story of shocking awareness of being undermined by a narcissist.  She sold her home and her business because he encouraged her to live the life he had created.  They decided to build a new home.  She chose to travel with him, to spend a lot of time on his boat, to give up her own life to embrace his. She was 60 years old.  She had never been married.  Her gorgeous gown was purchased and fitted.  Wedding invitations were in the mail.  Then, he called to say he was breaking up with her.  She was not the woman he thought she was.  (!!!!) Her life unraveled.  She spent four months on the floor crying.  She was suicidal.  She was Shattered. Christine is a thriver.  With support from friends and through her faith, she became Unstoppable, Unlimited, Unsinkable.  Shatterproof. Read more details about her unique experience in her book When Life Unravels.  Reach out to Christine at <a href="http://www.WhenLifeUnravels.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.WhenLifeUnravels.com</a>

How Foolish I was – I Thought He Was Perfect  Christine Cristina

A 90-day temporary order took two years to resolve…YEA!  I finally got 50/50 custody of my daughter!  This conversation is not to discourage anyone.  It is to validate that right can eventually prevail, even in custody cases with abusive Dads. Amber went to court without an attorney and everything her abuser and his attorney told the Judge was believed.  Her abuser was given full custody of their daughter, then and there. The lies he told were that she was addicted to drugs and alcohol.  She was ordered to attend AA meetings.  He said he did not rape her; she liked rough sex.  She was ordered to seek sex therapy.  He and his lawyer convinced the court that she lived in her car.  She lived with friends.  She was encouraged to sign a 90-day temporary order, giving her abuser full custody of their daughter.  She was convinced it was the right thing to do.   Finally, after many court appearances, finally hiring an attorney who believed her, and two years of supervised visits with her daughter, Amber gained 50/50 custody.   Amazingly to me, Amber’s abuser fathered another child and he was given full-custody of that child, using the same tactics against that mother that he did with Amber.  It’s a story we hear over and over. Amber’s story gives hope that persistence and a good attorney can turn things around.  Amber Elizabeth can be contacted on FaceBook and through her closed page supporting abused women, Breaking Free!  https://www.facebook.com/groups/1877914985844912/?epa=SEARCH_BOX  Ask to join her group.

A 90-day temporary order took two years to resolve…YEA!  I finally got 50/50 custody of my daughter! This conversation is not to discourage anyone.  It is to validate that right can eventually prevail, even in custody cases with abusive Dads. Amber went to court without an attorney and everything her abuser and his attorney told the Judge was believed.  Her abuser was given full custody of their daughter, then and there. The lies he told were that she was addicted to drugs and alcohol.  She was ordered to attend AA meetings.  He said he did not rape her; she liked rough sex.  She was ordered to seek sex therapy.  He and his lawyer convinced the court that she lived in her car.  She lived with friends.  She was encouraged to sign a 90-day temporary order, giving her abuser full custody of their daughter.  She was convinced it was the right thing to do.  Finally, after many court appearances, finally hiring an attorney who believed her, and two years of supervised visits with her daughter, Amber gained 50/50 custody.  Amazingly to me, Amber’s abuser fathered another child and he was given full-custody of that child, using the same tactics against that mother that he did with Amber.  It’s a story we hear over and over. Amber’s story gives hope that persistence and a good attorney can turn things around. Amber Elizabeth can be contacted on FaceBook and through her closed page supporting abused women, Breaking Free!  <a href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/1877914985844912/?epa=SEARCH_BOX" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.facebook.com/groups/1877914985844912/?epa=SEARCH_BOX</a>  Ask to join her group.

YEA!  I Finally Got 50/50 Custody of My Daughter!

I’m Mickie Zada and I lived in abuse…for 34 years…from age 19 until I was 53.  I believe we create our realities, and I chose to stay in a damaging relationship for so long because I thought it was my Calling.  I was wrong.I changed me.  I am now an enthusiastic participant in Life.   “The words ‘I am’ are potent words; be careful what you hitch them to. The thing you’re claiming has a way of reaching back and claiming you.” A.L. KitselmanI am a strong woman, a fabulous woman, over 60 years old.  I am a Change-agent. I am an encourager.  I am uniquely qualified to speak to living in abuse, getting out and surviving to the fullest extent.  I know what it takes. I know the fear.  I am a survivor.I am a coach.I am happy to have these “I Am” words to reach back and claim me!The actions I teach and share are those that I’ve learned in my Journey from choosing to live in abuse to choosing to create my authentic life; safe, sound, Real.I invite you to read through this web page.  Think about who I Am.  Read blogs, listen to some podcasts, watch live videos.  Do we connect?I am open and exposed.  Choose to reach out to me or not.What I know for sure is that I lived the life of abuse, and got out, and I’ve thrived, to serve as a beacon to other women.If you live in abuse, or you’ve recently escaped, it’s my Mission to support and encourage you to choose and live a healthy life.The materials, the tools, the support is here.It’s your responsibility to grab hold and change yourself, from the in-side out.Stories of women who have reinvented themselves for the second half of their lives.  You hear where they have come from, what inspired their transformations and you can follow their path to having the life you really want.  Figuring It Out After 50 is about taking your life from where you were to WHO you ARE!

Everything you said from gaslighting to red flags is all I endured. For two years I was in a physically, and emotionally abused. October of 2017 I managed to finally get away from my narcissist. I had that problem from the beginning thinking he would change, and he would be better. Did couples therapy at 3 months, should of walked away, couldn’t cause he love bombed me so much. Now it’s been almost 10 months. I feel like me, self love is the best. When you are in the relationship you can not see a clearer picture. Thank you for this, it has helped me. Still recovering, however I was a lot stronger than I was when I broke it off and finally walked away ❤️

Thank you

You&#39;re absolutely changing lives here Mickie. Please keep it up!

SO IMPORTANT!

I’m Mickie Zada and I lived in abuse…for 34 years…from age 19 until I was 53. I believe we create our realities, and I chose to stay in a damaging relationship for so long because I thought it was my Calling. I was wrong. I changed me. I am now an enthusiastic participant in Life. “The words ‘I am’ are potent words; be careful what you hitch them to. The thing you’re claiming has a way of reaching back and claiming you.” A.L. Kitselman I am a strong woman, a fabulous woman, over 60 years old. I am a Change-agent. I am an encourager. I am uniquely qualified to speak to living in abuse, getting out and surviving to the fullest extent. I know what it takes. I know the fear. I am a survivor. I am a coach. I am happy to have these “I Am” words to reach back and claim me! The actions I teach and share are those that I’ve learned in my Journey from choosing to live in abuse to choosing to create my authentic life; safe, sound, Real. I invite you to read through this web page. Think about who I Am. Read blogs, listen to some podcasts, watch live videos. Do we connect? I am open and exposed. Choose to reach out to me or not. What I know for sure is that I lived the life of abuse, and got out, and I’ve thrived, to serve as a beacon to other women. If you live in abuse, or you’ve recently escaped, it’s my Mission to support and encourage you to choose and live a healthy life. The materials, the tools, the support is here. It’s your responsibility to grab hold and change yourself, from the in-side out. Stories of women who have reinvented themselves for the second half of their lives. You hear where they have come from, what inspired their transformations and you can follow their path to having the life you really want. Figuring It Out After 50 is about taking your life from where you were to WHO you ARE!

SHATTERPROOF Thriving After Domestic Abuse

He was kind and caring, and then he turned mean and violent.  He told me it was my fault he got so angry. I believed him for the longest time. I believed he wanted to change. If you are a survivor of abuse, you have experienced all those emotions and beliefs.  Each of us thinks we are unique; No one else would choose to live the way we did.  Wrong! Listen to the stories of 4 women who have escaped abuse.  Pay attention to their statements about what they would say to others.  Your story is not that unique. And, you are not alone.  Abuse is real and we don’t have to live with it!

He was kind and caring, and then he turned mean and violent.  He told me it was my fault he got so angry. I believed him for the longest time. I believed he wanted to change. If you are a survivor of abuse, you have experienced all those emotions and beliefs.  Each of us thinks we are unique; No one else would choose to live the way we did.  Wrong! Listen to the stories of 4 women who have escaped abuse.  Pay attention to their statements about what they would say to others.  Your story is not that unique. And, you are not alone.  Abuse is real and we don’t have to live with it!

He Had Me Convinced I Was Crazy

Mickie discovered an on-line list and description of emotions experienced by abused women.  The information was created by Rape and Abuse Crisis Center and, along with their descriptions, Mickie adds her personal experiences and feelings associated with each emotion. “It’s still amazing to me”, Mickie laments, “that we abused women try to save our marriages, make excuses for our abusers and are embarrassed to tell others about our life at home”.  The emotional reality of abused women is a roller coaster!

Mickie discovered an on-line list and description of emotions experienced by abused women.  The information was created by Rape and Abuse Crisis Center and, along with their descriptions, Mickie adds her personal experiences and feelings associated with each emotion. “It’s still amazing to me”, Mickie laments, “that we abused women try to save our marriages, make excuses for our abusers and are embarrassed to tell others about our life at home”.  The emotional reality of abused women is a roller coaster!

Emotional Reality of Abused Women

Wouldn’t you love to have magic words to use when communicating with your narcissist…or any abuser?   My guest, Lindsey Ellison, tells you exactly what to say on this podcast and in her book by the same title, Magic Words.   Lindsey is an author, a relationship coach and founder of Start Over Coaching, Inc.  She specializes in helping people break free from narcissistic abuse, navigate their divorce or break-up, and find happiness and peace. Originally stemming from her own personal experiences, Lindsey’s mission is to inspire you to make those amazing changes in your life to help you start over and find happiness. Lindsey shared much of her story of transformation after abuse as my podcast guest in March 2018. That very insightful discussion was titled “You are not the only one…you are not alone”.  Check it out. Today we are talking about her new book “Magic Words, How to get what you want from a Narcissist.”  More information about Linsey, her online courses and her book can be found at https://lindseyellison.com/

Wouldn’t you love to have magic words to use when communicating with your narcissist…or any abuser?  My guest, Lindsey Ellison, tells you exactly what to say on this podcast and in her book by the same title, Magic Words.   Lindsey is an author, a relationship coach and founder of Start Over Coaching, Inc.  She specializes in helping people break free from narcissistic abuse, navigate their divorce or break-up, and find happiness and peace. Originally stemming from her own personal experiences, Lindsey’s mission is to inspire you to make those amazing changes in your life to help you start over and find happiness. Lindsey shared much of her story of transformation after abuse as my podcast guest in March 2018. That very insightful discussion was titled “You are not the only one…you are not alone”.  Check it out. Today we are talking about her new book “Magic Words, How to get what you want from a Narcissist.” More information about Linsey, her online courses and her book can be found at <a href="https://lindseyellison.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://lindseyellison.com/</a>

Magic Words to Use with a Narcissist

If you're looking to create joy in your life, you really don't have to look very far or spend a ton of money. Today, Mickie Zada shares 5 easy ways to create more joy in your life, and the good news is that you can get started today.

If you're looking to create joy in your life, you really don't have to look very far or spend a ton of money. Today, Mickie Zada shares 5 easy ways to create more joy in your life, and the good news is that you can get started today.

5 Free Steps to Create Joy

In this episode, Mickie shares her journey from a marriage of 34 years, to being on her own and responsible for her own finances and well-being.  Although the journey has had it's low points, Mickie has learned valuable lessons that she has carried with her.  Mickie also talks about the motivation for the podcast and why it is such an amazing accomplishment for her.

In this episode, Mickie shares her journey from a marriage of 34 years, to being on her own and responsible for her own finances and well-being.  Although the journey has had it's low points, Mickie has learned valuable lessons that she has carried with her.  Mickie also talks about the motivation for the podcast and why it is such an amazing accomplishment for her.

009: Getting To Where You Are Supposed To Be

Need some inspiration?  It’s right here! Just days into retirement, Louise’s husband was diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer.  He passed away 2 years later.  She didn’t sit back and feel sorry for herself.  On the long nights when she couldn’t sleep, Louise planned fantasy trips. And, her survival therapy was to bring two of those trips to life; a trek on Camino de Santiago and immersion in an intense Spanish class in Spain.  You’ll laugh and smile through this fun conversation!

Need some inspiration?  It’s right here! Just days into retirement, Louise’s husband was diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer.  He passed away 2 years later.  She didn’t sit back and feel sorry for herself.  On the long nights when she couldn’t sleep, Louise planned fantasy trips. And, her survival therapy was to bring two of those trips to life; a trek on Camino de Santiago and immersion in an intense Spanish class in Spain.  You’ll laugh and smile through this fun conversation!

Don't Let People Scare You!

It was Satchel Paige who said “Don’t Look Back…something might be gaining on you!”  Mickie explores how our past, especially in our second 53 years, may be holding us back from creating the future we envision. Even past accomplishments and success can be allowed to hinder our future plans: an interesting perspective.

It was Satchel Paige who said “Don’t Look Back…something might be gaining on you!”  Mickie explores how our past, especially in our second 53 years, may be holding us back from creating the future we envision. Even past accomplishments and success can be allowed to hinder our future plans: an interesting perspective.

Don't Look Back

You know what it feels like…you’ve had it before.  If you’re not living in happiness now you just need to start over.  You don’t want a boring life to replay every single day, do you? Any action is better than no action, especially if you’ve been stuck in an unhappy situation for a long time.  Here are some suggestions.

You know what it feels like…you’ve had it before.  If you’re not living in happiness now you just need to start over.  You don’t want a boring life to replay every single day, do you? Any action is better than no action, especially if you’ve been stuck in an unhappy situation for a long time.  Here are some suggestions.

Choosing Happines

Who am I to do this??!! “Who am I, if not a teacher?” Often our career identifies us.  The three retired teachers you are about to meet are now successful in other arenas, their stories are diverse and fun! The Law of Attraction is a Universal Law and it is always working, just like gravity! Anna, Jan and Linda are three of my like-minded friends who agreed to share their after-retirement-career-adventures! Anna Unkovich: “Once you have a thought, you can’t un-think it!”   Anna has quite a story of transformation AND guts!  This woman walked straight up to Chicken Soup for the Soul guru, Jack Canfield, pitched her idea and then asked if he was going to call her, or is she calling him???  And, that is not the most phenomenal accomplishment by this amazing woman.  A teacher once told her she had the “creativity of a cow!”  Can you imagine?  Since retirement she has become a judged artist, a published author of books (besides the Chicken Soup for the Soul), and she walked on 36 feet of hot coals! “After retirement we each have the opportunity to reinvent ourselves and we are finding ourselves in exciting places!” Contact Anna Unkovich at http://www.AnnaUnkovich.com   Jan Janke:  “I’ve moved from grumbling to grateful!” The next woman you’re going to meet is Jan Janke.  Jan may be the most enthusiastic person I have ever me.  She lives her passion and her Mission…and she has inspired lots and lots of women to do the same…Jan is my Splashy friend!   Jan retired from teaching without a plan for what would happen next.  She endured a stressful year, losing both parents within a few months time, and with the ending of her career, she felt lost as a person. One of Jan’s coaches once made a statement that changed her life.  He said there are two ways to be a victim: (1)  a “poor me” mentality  (not Jan) (2)  not creating the life you want to live (definitely Jan at the time!) Eventually embarking on a personal growth path, Jan excavated her Life Mission which was to “Splash God’s love and joy on everyone”.  She created a concept for a weekly Monday Morning inspirational telephone call which, after a slow beginning because of procrastination, is now in its fourth year.  She also became a certified coach. Each of us has endured the dreaded mind-talk asking “Who am I to do this??”  Jan’s story will help you get past that block… her enthusiastic attitude and upbeat belief in herself and others is contagious. Linda Maune:  “Where’s Linda?” Last but not least is a woman I admire tremendously, Linda Maune.  She had the inner strength and determination to leave a job she loved….teaching…to live a life she loves…teaching scuba in the Florida Keys.  And, she has recently embarked on another brand new career as a National Tour Guide!   We often play a game called “Where’s Linda” (instead of Where’s Waldo). She could be in Philadelphia on a tour, the Cayman Islands on a scuba trip or at her home, nesting as she calls it, in Missouri. A teacher at heart, Linda’s experiences as a scuba instructor and as a newly licensed National Tour Guide, are both inspiring and humorous.    Listen to the end of this interesting conversation to discover who walked on hot coals!

Who am I to do this??!! “Who am I, if not a teacher?” Often our career identifies us.  The three retired teachers you are about to meet are now successful in other arenas, their stories are diverse and fun! The Law of Attraction is a Universal Law and it is always working, just like gravity! Anna, Jan and Linda are three of my like-minded friends who agreed to share their after-retirement-career-adventures! Anna Unkovich: “Once you have a thought, you can’t un-think it!”   Anna has quite a story of transformation AND guts!  This woman walked straight up to Chicken Soup for the Soul guru, Jack Canfield, pitched her idea and then asked if he was going to call her, or is she calling him???  And, that is not the most phenomenal accomplishment by this amazing woman. A teacher once told her she had the “creativity of a cow!”  Can you imagine?  Since retirement she has become a judged artist, a published author of books (besides the Chicken Soup for the Soul), and she walked on 36 feet of hot coals! “After retirement we each have the opportunity to reinvent ourselves and we are finding ourselves in exciting places!” Contact Anna Unkovich at <a href="http://www.AnnaUnkovich.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">http://www.AnnaUnkovich.com</a> Jan Janke:  “I’ve moved from grumbling to grateful!” The next woman you’re going to meet is Jan Janke.  Jan may be the most enthusiastic person I have ever me.  She lives her passion and her Mission…and she has inspired lots and lots of women to do the same…Jan is my Splashy friend!  Jan retired from teaching without a plan for what would happen next.  She endured a stressful year, losing both parents within a few months time, and with the ending of her career, she felt lost as a person. One of Jan’s coaches once made a statement that changed her life.  He said there are two ways to be a victim: (1)  a “poor me” mentality  (not Jan) (2)  not creating the life you want to live (definitely Jan at the time!) Eventually embarking on a personal growth path, Jan excavated her Life Mission which was to “Splash God’s love and joy on everyone”.  She created a concept for a weekly Monday Morning inspirational telephone call which, after a slow beginning because of procrastination, is now in its fourth year.  She also became a certified coach. Each of us has endured the dreaded mind-talk asking “Who am I to do this??”  Jan’s story will help you get past that block… her enthusiastic attitude and upbeat belief in herself and others is contagious. Linda Maune:  “Where’s Linda?” Last but not least is a woman I admire tremendously, Linda Maune.  She had the inner strength and determination to leave a job she loved….teaching…to live a life she loves…teaching scuba in the Florida Keys.  And, she has recently embarked on another brand new career as a National Tour Guide!   We often play a game called “Where’s Linda” (instead of Where’s Waldo). She could be in Philadelphia on a tour, the Cayman Islands on a scuba trip or at her home, nesting as she calls it, in Missouri. A teacher at heart, Linda’s experiences as a scuba instructor and as a newly licensed National Tour Guide, are both inspiring and humorous.  Listen to the end of this interesting conversation to discover who walked on hot coals!

002: Who Am I To Do This?

Mickie’s youngest sister, Judi, is her guest.  Together they explore memories and perceptions of their upbringing with ten years difference in their ages.  Theirs was a PTA/stay at home Mom who did not drive, as Mickie grew up; she was a long working hours career Mom with pierced ears and a drivers license in Judy’s memory!  Listen as they discuss different perspectives yet how their Second 53 Years are still quite similar.

Mickie’s youngest sister, Judi, is her guest.  Together they explore memories and perceptions of their upbringing with ten years difference in their ages.  Theirs was a PTA/stay at home Mom who did not drive, as Mickie grew up; she was a long working hours career Mom with pierced ears and a drivers license in Judy’s memory!  Listen as they discuss different perspectives yet how their Second 53 Years are still quite similar.

Do You Remember?

Listen to bits and pieces of Mickie’s life story.  Life is what we make it; our choices do create our Reality; Stay open to nudges from the Universe (God).  Mickie says, since she was 3 years old, she “always knew this adventure we call Life would be a success”, but not without some setbacks, hurts and disappointments.  Choose to consider how your experiences have created who you are today. 

Listen to bits and pieces of Mickie’s life story.  Life is what we make it; our choices do create our Reality; Stay open to nudges from the Universe (God).  Mickie says, since she was 3 years old, she “always knew this adventure we call Life would be a success”, but not without some setbacks, hurts and disappointments.  Choose to consider how your experiences have created who you are today.

I Always Knew

Mickie read that people in their 50’s and 60’s are no longer concerned with what other people think about them:  they are wise enough to know that other people don’t think about them much anyway!  Concern about what other people think is perfectly normal at any age…if you sometimes wonder about other people’s opinions of you, Mickie offers 7 suggestions to stop those thoughts.

Mickie read that people in their 50’s and 60’s are no longer concerned with what other people think about them:  they are wise enough to know that other people don’t think about them much anyway!  Concern about what other people think is perfectly normal at any age…if you sometimes wonder about other people’s opinions of you, Mickie offers 7 suggestions to stop those thoughts.

It's None of Your Business

My guest’s Mission is to break the stigma of being abused by breaking her silence.  One of the realities that empowered her and that she teaches other victims of abuse is that your abuse was not about you.  It was about your abuser.  In our conversation, she shares that her former step father abused her physically, psychologically and sexually. He told her every single day, from the age of 2 til 12, that she was ugly, stupid, useless, worthless, and unlovable.  She believed him, not just because she heard the words for so long, but because that was what she saw unfolding all around her.  Every situation in her life seemed to be shouting, “He’s right!!!”  Lisa Cybaniak is now an enthusiastic, high-energy, motivational speaker and success coach.   Now she has created a life of value and worth.  Now she has a family she adores, a home she cherishes, and a career she’s in love with.  Her life is centered around empowering survivors of abuse to find their personal purpose, to build the life they deserve. To learn more about Lisa and to join her online community, go to www.LifeLikeYouMeanIt.com On Facebook, her private group is The Life You Deserve.  You must ask to become a member of the private Facebook group.

My guest’s Mission is to break the stigma of being abused by breaking her silence.  One of the realities that empowered her and that she teaches other victims of abuse is that your abuse was not about you.  It was about your abuser.  In our conversation, she shares that her former step father abused her physically, psychologically and sexually. He told her every single day, from the age of 2 til 12, that she was ugly, stupid, useless, worthless, and unlovable.  She believed him, not just because she heard the words for so long, but because that was what she saw unfolding all around her.  Every situation in her life seemed to be shouting, “He’s right!!!” Lisa Cybaniak is now an enthusiastic, high-energy, motivational speaker and success coach.   Now she has created a life of value and worth.  Now she has a family she adores, a home she cherishes, and a career she’s in love with.  Her life is centered around empowering survivors of abuse to find their personal purpose, to build the life they deserve. To learn more about Lisa and to join her online community, go to <a href="http://www.LifeLikeYouMeanIt.com" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank">www.LifeLikeYouMeanIt.com</a> On Facebook, her private group is The Life You Deserve.  You must ask to become a member of the private Facebook group.

Your Abuse was Not About You 

Life is more interesting if you don’t have all the answers…does that statement resonate with you?  Those of us who are risk takers realize we don’t have all the answers…and that is both frightening and exhilarating!  Mickie shares stories and ideas to inspire getting out of our comfort zone.

Get Outta Your Comfort Zone

Pat Monday shares her year of transformation from Where she was to Who she is;  acceptance of not being happy, decisions about herself and her marriage and finally, living the Life she loves.  This conversation takes us inside Pat’s inspiring story!

Pat Monday shares her year of transformation from Where she was to Who she is;  acceptance of not being happy, decisions about herself and her marriage and finally, living the Life she loves.  This conversation takes us inside Pat’s inspiring story!

Is That All There Is?

Today’s guest, Lindsey Ellison, wrote in HuffPost, “While our culture gets criticized for being too pro-divorce, I’d like to counter that criticism and say we are a culture of over-tolerance. We tolerate bad behavior and bad relationships for far too long. We are rewarded for “sticking it out” and are scolded by our society if we don’t. I am often amazed to hear what my clients and readers tolerate in a marriage, and how they feel guilty for even having thoughts of ending the relationship. Perhaps religion, our childhood influencers or the media interfere with our definition of a good marriage versus a bad one. To me, it’s pretty simple. One makes you happy and the other makes you miserable.” Our conversation addresses living in abusive marriage and the necessity of personal growth in escaping.  If those living in abuse (men and women) don’t change how they perceive the quality of their lives and relationships, nothing is likely to change. Why? Because we are used to how we’re living…we don’t think deeply about how we’re being treated … it’s fearful to admit we are living in abuse … we wonder if we really are living in abuse, especially when there are no physical bruises.   These thoughts and emotions are common.  You are not the only one.  You are not alone.

Today’s guest, Lindsey Ellison, wrote in HuffPost, “While our culture gets criticized for being too pro-divorce, I’d like to counter that criticism and say we are a culture of over-tolerance. We tolerate bad behavior and bad relationships for far too long. We are rewarded for “sticking it out” and are scolded by our society if we don’t. I am often amazed to hear what my clients and readers tolerate in a marriage, and how they feel guilty for even having thoughts of ending the relationship. Perhaps religion, our childhood influencers or the media interfere with our definition of a good marriage versus a bad one. To me, it’s pretty simple. One makes you happy and the other makes you miserable.” Our conversation addresses living in abusive marriage and the necessity of personal growth in escaping.  If those living in abuse (men and women) don’t change how they perceive the quality of their lives and relationships, nothing is likely to change. Why? Because we are used to how we’re living…we don’t think deeply about how we’re being treated … it’s fearful to admit we are living in abuse … we wonder if we really are living in abuse, especially when there are no physical bruises.   These thoughts and emotions are common.  You are not the only one.  You are not alone.

You Are Not the Only One.  You are Not Alone.

You Wear It Well

When a great opportunity comes along, we usually say “Yeah But…that won’t work because….”  Mickie shares life experiences that have created who she is today; how they hindered her growth and how she chose to out-grow them.  Don’t wait for things to get easier, simpler, better, you’ll run out of time.

When a great opportunity comes along, we usually say “Yeah But…that won’t work because….”  Mickie shares life experiences that have created who she is today; how they hindered her growth and how she chose to out-grow them.  Don’t wait for things to get easier, simpler, better, you’ll run out of time.

Don't Wait

Quitting a six figure job to move to Key West couldn't be a mid-life crisis, could it?  Actually, it was a mid-life discovery!  Christy Haussler shares her journey from leaving her job, scaring herself to death and finally re-inventing herself to become the person she was always meant to be!

Quitting a six figure job to move to Key West couldn't be a mid-life crisis, could it?  Actually, it was a mid-life discovery!  Christy Haussler shares her journey from leaving her job, scaring herself to death and finally re-inventing herself to become the person she was always meant to be!

[Replay] Quit Your Job and Move to Key West

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Best Episodes: Interesting Stories & Things

The best podcast episodes of anyone with an interesting story. With famous guests like Obama, LeBron James, Drake, Oprah Winfrey, Richard Branson, Michelle Obama, Serena Williams, to anyone who has a unique and interesting story to tell. Add episodes you're interested into your queue below!