The Reason for Chores | Part 5

Implementing Chores Many parents ask the question should allowance be attached to chores? The response is what are we training them for? The purpose of training up a child is to ready them for adulthood. There are many jobs that we as adults have to do around the house. I don’t remember ever receiving a paycheck for doing dishes, laundry or taking out the trash.Â  One of the purposes of chores is to teach children that there are things that we do simply to be a contributing member of a family. There may be extra jobs that are not considered regular chores, such as cleaning out the refrigerator or cleaning windows, that could be done to earn some extra cash.Â  This teaches a child to go above and beyond what is simply required of them. These extra jobs can also be used as consequences, without pay, for chores not done. Many parents then ask how do I get my child to doÂ household chores? We discussed yesterday setting up a reward/consequence plan for chores. We as adults do have a reward for household chores-a clean and relaxing living space. Think of some rewards,not monetary, that will motivate your child as well as consequences for chores not done. Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on chores.

<h3>Implementing Chores</h3> <p>Many parents ask the question should allowance be attached to chores? The response is what are we training them for? The purpose of training up a child is to ready them for adulthood. There are many jobs that we as adults have to do around the house. I don’t remember ever receiving a paycheck for doing dishes, laundry or taking out the trash.Â  One of the purposes of chores is to teach children that there are things that we do simply to be a contributing member of a family. There may be extra jobs that are not considered regular chores, such as cleaning out the refrigerator or cleaning windows, that could be done to earn some extra cash.Â  This teaches a child to go above and beyond what is simply required of them. These extra jobs can also be used as consequences, without pay, for chores not done.<br/> Many parents then ask how do I get my child to doÂ household chores? We discussed yesterday setting up a reward/consequence plan for chores. We as adults do have a reward for household chores-a clean and relaxing living space. Think of some rewards,not monetary, that will motivate your child as well as consequences for chores not done.</p> <p>Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on chores.</p>

The Reason for Chores | Part 4

Chores Teach A Child To Choose We discussed yesterday that chores train a child to do what is responsible rather then what is pleasurable. The question is where is a parent to start? The concept of chores is something that can start as early as preschool with simple tasks.Â  In our house, we are working with our three-year-old son teaching him how to clean up after himself. He picks up one set of toys before bringing out another.Â  Of course it would be MUCH faster, and I probably wouldnâ€™t have to sing the clean up song, if I just ran around after him straightening.Â  If I consistently did the work for him, however, then he wouldnâ€™t be ready for the next step, cleaning his room on his own. For any child utilizing the ICE plan is key for chores.Â  Instruct them what your expectation is.Â  Tell them ahead of time what the consequence is for not completing the chore and what the reward is for completing the chore to your expectation.Â  Finally and sometimes most difficultly we have to step back and let them exercise their choice.Â  Are they going to choose a reward or consequence? In the residential homes at Sheridan house the teens have chores every morning.Â  The room that does the best in their chores gets ice cream at the end of the week.Â  Many kids are reward driven so attaching rewards early on for a job well done will easily teach that itâ€™s worth it to work hard.   For more on chores listen to todayâ€™s podcast.

<h3>Chores Teach A Child To Choose</h3> <p>We discussed yesterday that chores train a child to do what is responsible rather then what is pleasurable. The question is where is a parent to start? The concept of chores is something that can start as early as preschool with simple tasks.Â  In our house, we are working with our three-year-old son teaching him how to clean up after himself. He picks up one set of toys before bringing out another.Â  Of course it would be MUCH faster, and I probably wouldnâ€™t have to sing the clean up song, if I just ran around after him straightening.Â  If I consistently did the work for him, however, then he wouldnâ€™t be ready for the next step, cleaning his room on his own.</p> <p>For any child utilizing the ICE plan is key for chores.Â  Instruct them what your expectation is.Â  Tell them ahead of time what the consequence is for not completing the chore and what the reward is for completing the chore to your expectation.Â  Finally and sometimes most difficultly we have to step back and let them exercise their choice.Â  Are they going to choose a reward or consequence?</p> <p>In the residential homes at Sheridan house the teens have chores every morning.Â  The room that does the best in their chores gets ice cream at the end of the week.Â  Many kids are reward driven so attaching rewards early on for a job well done will easily teach that itâ€™s worth it to work hard.</p> <p> </p> <p>For more on chores listen to todayâ€™s podcast.</p>

The Reason for Chores | Part 3

Why Itâ€™s So Important Why is it so important to fight the chores battle as parents? There are four main reasons. First there is nothing that teaches a child personal responsibility as well as chores.Â  It teaches a child to make the choice between what they want to do and what they need to do.Â  This learned responsibility translates into many adult situations from credit cards to sexuality. Chores can communicate that a child is needed.Â  Every part of the family pitches in to help out. It can also help to teach a child how to take initiative as well as learning the importance of excellence.Â  If I do something right the first time I wonâ€™t have to go back and fix it. Lastly it prepares a child for emancipation from the home.Â  We have laughed about how many college freshman have no idea how to do laundry.Â  But simply teaching a child how to do chores helps them to learn basic household management skills.   For more on why chores are such an important area to train your child in, listen to todayâ€™s podcast.

<h3>Why Itâ€™s So Important</h3> <p>Why is it so important to fight the chores battle as parents? There are four main reasons. First there is nothing that teaches a child personal responsibility as well as chores.Â  It teaches a child to make the choice between what they want to do and what they need to do.Â  This learned responsibility translates into many adult situations from credit cards to sexuality.</p> <p>Chores can communicate that a child is needed.Â  Every part of the family pitches in to help out.</p> <p>It can also help to teach a child how to take initiative as well as learning the importance of excellence.Â  If I do something right the first time I wonâ€™t have to go back and fix it.</p> <p>Lastly it prepares a child for emancipation from the home.Â  We have laughed about how many college freshman have no idea how to do laundry.Â  But simply teaching a child how to do chores helps them to learn basic household management skills.</p> <p> </p> <p>For more on why chores are such an important area to train your child in, listen to todayâ€™s podcast.</p>

The Reason for Chores | Part 2

Why Donâ€™t We Give Our Kids Chores Anymore? This week will be spent talking about the importance of children doing household chores. The interesting thing is that it seems overall families donâ€™t prioritize their children doing chores.Â  Why is this? There are many reasons for this but it seems that the main reason is time.Â  We are all very busy from adults to children in the home, our schedules are jam-packed.Â  The priority of chores has fallen by the wayside. It also takes a lot of time put in by the parent.Â  It takes time to train your child how to do the chore.Â  It takes time to inspect the chores and make sure that they are done to your standard.Â  It also takes time to correct mistakes, as well as time to cheer when the chore is done right.Â  This is why many parents shy away from the job of training their children to do chores.Â  â€œIt just seems faster and easier to do it myself. â€œ Chores are an important part of training a child however.Â Â  There are many lessons that can be learned from them.Â  Check back the rest of this week to see why they are invaluable!   Listen to todayâ€™s podcast for more on chores.

<h3>Why Donâ€™t We Give Our Kids Chores Anymore?</h3> <p>This week will be spent talking about the importance of children doing household chores. The interesting thing is that it seems overall families donâ€™t prioritize their children doing chores.Â  Why is this?</p> <p>There are many reasons for this but it seems that the main reason is time.Â  We are all very busy from adults to children in the home, our schedules are jam-packed.Â  The priority of chores has fallen by the wayside. It also takes a lot of time put in by the parent.Â  It takes time to train your child how to do the chore.Â  It takes time to inspect the chores and make sure that they are done to your standard.Â  It also takes time to correct mistakes, as well as time to cheer when the chore is done right.Â  This is why many parents shy away from the job of training their children to do chores.Â  â€œIt just seems faster and easier to do it myself. â€œ</p> <p>Chores are an important part of training a child however.Â Â  There are many lessons that can be learned from them.Â  Check back the rest of this week to see why they are invaluable!</p> <p> </p> <p>Listen to todayâ€™s podcast for more on chores.</p>

The Reason for Chores | Part 1

Learning About Your Spouse and Physical Intimacy Make sure to take the time to learn your spouse.Â  Are they the kind of person who likes surprises or do they need time in advance to adjust to ideas?Â  When planning activities to help get out of a rut learning this may be key, to not only actually getting out and doing them but making sure that both spouses enjoy the process.Â  This is even something that you can sit and do together.Â  Together you can process through a list of things that would be fun to do as a family or on date night.Â  If both spouse are involved in this process then both can be excited and looking forward to these activities.Â  Then make sure to put the list on the family calendar. You can never be married to long to bring romance back into the marriage relationship.Â  Sexual intimacy is something that you only share with your spouse.Â  It is special and sacred that is why it is also something that should not be ignored.Â  For more on this topic click here to hear the series on romance in marriage.

<h3>Learning About Your Spouse and Physical Intimacy</h3> <p>Make sure to take the time to learn your spouse.Â  Are they the kind of person who likes surprises or do they need time in advance to adjust to ideas?Â  When planning activities to help get out of a rut learning this may be key, to not only actually getting out and doing them but making sure that both spouses enjoy the process.Â  This is even something that you can sit and do together.Â  Together you can process through a list of things that would be fun to do as a family or on date night.Â  If both spouse are involved in this process then both can be excited and looking forward to these activities.Â  Then make sure to put the list on the family calendar.</p> <p>You can never be married to long to bring romance back into the marriage relationship.Â  Sexual intimacy is something that you only share with your spouse.Â  It is special and sacred that is why it is also something that should not be ignored.Â  For more on this topic <a href="http://parentingonpurpose.org/broadcast/part-1/" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" target="_blank">click here</a> to hear the series on romance in marriage.</p>

Help! My Marriage Has Gotten Boring | Part 5

Never Settle For Less There are things we can do to make the marriage exciting. Â We need to find ways to get out of the routine. Â There does need to be some one on one time set aside with your spouse. Â Make sure to make time for date nights, but you can even set aside the time after the children go to bed for something fun for just the two of you. Â If you have older children that have a later bedtime, there can be a set time that they spend in their room before “lights out” in order for there to be time for your relationship. There are many ways to incorporate fun back into the marriage. Â One of the ways to help a marriage not get mundane, is focusing on the friendship aspect of the relationship. Â Â Click here to see the week long series on how to become your spouses best friend.

<h3>Never Settle For Less</h3> <p>There are things we can do to make the marriage exciting. Â We need to find ways to get out of the routine. Â There does need to be some one on one time set aside with your spouse. Â Make sure to make time for date nights, but you can even set aside the time after the children go to bed for something fun for just the two of you. Â If you have older children that have a later bedtime, there can be a set time that they spend in their room before “lights out” in order for there to be time for your relationship.</p> <p>There are many ways to incorporate fun back into the marriage. Â One of the ways to help a marriage not get mundane, is focusing on the friendship aspect of the relationship. Â <a href="http://parentingonpurpose.org/broadcast/becoming-your-spouses-best-friend-part-1/" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" target="_blank">Â Click here </a>to see the week long series on how to become your spouses best friend.</p>

Help! My Marriage Has Gotten Boring | Part 4

Never Quit Trying Itâ€™s interesting how we think of having an infant or small children as an exciting time/phase of life.Â  It is draining, but we will still label it as exciting or never a dull moment.Â  If we stop to think about it a baby canâ€™t give anything back yet we are continually meeting their needs.Â  Sure we may have moments of feeling overwhelmed with the magnitude of the task of caring for them but we still do it with out the expectation of anything from them.Â  Why?…Because we love them. How is this any different from our spouse?Â  We should be continually working on and putting into the relationship, because we love them.Â  Our society has trained us to look for quick fixes, but the marriage relationship is not a quick fix. It is a life long relationship.Â  We need to make sure that we are doing our part.Â  There will most assuredly be times where our spouse because of stress, other things going on in their life or even lack of knowing how, canâ€™t give in the way we can.Â  Instead of getting frustrated with our spouse, make the choice to be the one who goes above and beyond for the sake of the relationship.Â  Remember the model for Love that was given to us, is the one who gave His life for us.

<p>Never Quit Trying</p> <p>Itâ€™s interesting how we think of having an infant or small children as an exciting time/phase of life.Â  It is draining, but we will still label it as exciting or never a dull moment.Â  If we stop to think about it a baby canâ€™t give anything back yet we are continually meeting their needs.Â  Sure we may have moments of feeling overwhelmed with the magnitude of the task of caring for them but we still do it with out the expectation of anything from them.Â  Why?…Because we love them.</p> <p>How is this any different from our spouse?Â  We should be continually working on and putting into the relationship, because we love them.Â  Our society has trained us to look for quick fixes, but the marriage relationship is not a quick fix. It is a life long relationship.Â  We need to make sure that we are doing our part.Â  There will most assuredly be times where our spouse because of stress, other things going on in their life or even lack of knowing how, canâ€™t give in the way we can.Â  Instead of getting frustrated with our spouse, make the choice to be the one who goes above and beyond for the sake of the relationship.Â  Remember the model for Love that was given to us, is the one who gave His life for us.</p>

Help! My Marriage Has Gotten Boring | Part 3

Choose To Prioritize Your Marriage We need to be prepared to build a team or â€œbecome one fleshâ€.Â Â  There are things that can hinder this process that we need to work through.Â  The first is expectations. Often our expectations of how marriage will be, often unrealistic and influenced by Hollywood, can taint our attitude about real life marriage.Â  Check out our week long series on expectations by clicking here. Â Very likely, because we are different genders and different personalities we will need to learn how our spouse communicates in order to do it effectively.Â  Click here for more on this topic.Â  Another reason that marriage can become boring is because we donâ€™t take the time to make it a priority.Â  Click here for more on this.Â  Finally many donâ€™t know how to â€œwork on the relationshipâ€.Â  We need to give of ourselves rather then just waiting for things to get better.Â  Make sure to continue making your marriage a priority!

<h3>Choose To Prioritize Your Marriage</h3> <p>We need to be prepared to build a team or â€œbecome one fleshâ€.Â Â  There are things that can hinder this process that we need to work through.Â  The first is expectations. Often our expectations of how marriage will be, often unrealistic and influenced by Hollywood, can taint our attitude about real life marriage.Â  Check out our week long series on expectations by <a href="http://parentingonpurpose.org/broadcast/marriage-expectations-with-guest-rosemary-barnes-part-1/" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" target="_blank">clicking here</a>. Â Very likely, because we are different genders and different personalities we will need to learn how our spouse communicates in order to do it effectively.Â  <a href="http://parentingonpurpose.org/broadcast/communication-in-your-marriage-part-1/" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" target="_blank">Click here</a> for more on this topic.Â  Another reason that marriage can become boring is because we donâ€™t take the time to make it a priority.Â  <a href="http://parentingonpurpose.org/broadcast/making-your-marriage-the-key-relationship-in-the-family/" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" target="_blank">Click here</a> for more on this.Â  Finally many donâ€™t know how to â€œwork on the relationshipâ€.Â  We need to give of ourselves rather then just waiting for things to get better.Â  Make sure to continue making your marriage a priority!</p>

Help! My Marriage Has Gotten Boring | Part 2

The Relationship Takes Work We try to talk about the topic of marriage here on Parenting on Purpose, once a month.Â  Here are some of the reasons we feel that it is so important to discuss. First, if you are married, the parenting wonâ€™t work to its potential if the marriage isnâ€™t working.Â  Second, your marriage is training your children how to do their marriage in the future. Â Your marriage gives your children a secure environment or an insecure environment.Â  Your marriage is a team of two people with different complimenting gifts which, when working together, can divide up the training tasks and bless the children.Â  Lastly, your marriage is the team that builds the child or hinders their potential.Â  It is the foundation the children can grow up on. One thing that may shock us as we get married is that marriage is work.Â  It takes work to make two separate lives, personalities, backgrounds and families into one life.Â  It is continued work.Â  If we donâ€™t continue to give to our marriage relationship it can become stagnant.Â Â  Everything that is alive grows.Â  We must put the work into our marriage to maintain growth.Â  Check back with us all week as we discuss how to put into your marriage relationship to keep it alive, healthy and fun.

<h3>The Relationship Takes Work</h3> <p>We try to talk about the topic of marriage here on Parenting on Purpose, once a month.Â  Here are some of the reasons we feel that it is so important to discuss. First, if you are married, the parenting wonâ€™t work to its potential if the marriage isnâ€™t working.Â  Second, your marriage is training your children how to do their marriage in the future. Â Your marriage gives your children a secure environment or an insecure environment.Â  Your marriage is a team of two people with different complimenting gifts which, when working together, can divide up the training tasks and bless the children.Â  Lastly, your marriage is the team that builds the child or hinders their potential.Â  It is the foundation the children can grow up on.</p> <p>One thing that may shock us as we get married is that marriage is work.Â  It takes work to make two separate lives, personalities, backgrounds and families into one life.Â  It is continued work.Â  If we donâ€™t continue to give to our marriage relationship it can become stagnant.Â Â  Everything that is alive grows.Â  We must put the work into our marriage to maintain growth.Â  Check back with us all week as we discuss how to put into your marriage relationship to keep it alive, healthy and fun.</p>

Help! My Marriage Has Gotten Boring | Part 1

We have been listening for the past 4 years and help support their ministry, financially. We Share this podcast w all our friends and family esp those w kids. Practical, faith-based, relevant, and straightforward. We always feel empowered and encouraged in our role as parents after listening. We know Bob’s stories as well as our own now! Lol. 

SO GLAD they are recording again YAY! 

Just hope 🙏🏼🤞🏼they get a smartphone friendly website or app at some point so we can access and listen to specific topics on our device while on the road or doing chores. That would be SO amazing. 

We have 4 kiddos ages 0-7. 
2 are foster-adopt. 💞

4 years and counting!

A great daily reminder to be an intentional parent!

Thank you!!

Parenting On Purpose

Torrey Roberts

The Difference Between Determined And Rebellious Both types of child can seem similar but the difference may be in the root of what they want.Â  A determined child is passionate for what they want.Â  The strong willed child may fight to get their way.Â  This is pride coming out, they will battle for their way regardless.Â  They donâ€™t like being told no.Â  Another type of child is the angry child; they battle authority because they are angry.Â  When dealing with toddlers there may be some overlap of these three just from the natural push back of that age.Â  As children get older and training kicks in the determined childâ€™s passion can be seen for what it is.Â  Passion for things they believe in.Â  Like we said yesterday, we need to help our child learn to channel that good quality and not get discouraged. The trained, determined child will be the child/teen who wonâ€™t easily quit or give up, can endure failures and come back, and isnâ€™t afraid to risk failure. Determination at its best is doing your part, staying with it, never quitting and then trusting God for the results. This is what we want to instill in our children.

<h3>The Difference Between Determined And Rebellious</h3> <p>Both types of child can seem similar but the difference may be in the root of what they want.Â  A determined child is passionate for what they want.Â  The strong willed child may fight to get their way.Â  This is pride coming out, they will battle for their way regardless.Â  They donâ€™t like being told no.Â  Another type of child is the angry child; they battle authority because they are angry.Â  When dealing with toddlers there may be some overlap of these three just from the natural push back of that age.Â  As children get older and training kicks in the determined childâ€™s passion can be seen for what it is.Â  Passion for things they believe in.Â  Like we said yesterday, we need to help our child learn to channel that good quality and not get discouraged. The trained, determined child will be the child/teen who wonâ€™t easily quit or give up, can endure failures and come back, and isnâ€™t afraid to risk failure. Determination at its best is doing your part, staying with it, never quitting and then trusting God for the results. This is what we want to instill in our children.</p>

Taking Your Child From Stubborn to Determined with Torrey Roberts | Part 4

Getting Ready for a Successful Thanksgiving Gratitude is not something that is an innate human trait.Â  Because we are all born selfish, it is something that is both caught and taught.Â  As God designed it, babies spend all of their time having their needs met.Â  As children get older they are taught to be more and more self-sufficient.Â  If we are not spending time training our children to have a grateful heart however, they will keep that selfish attitude. Thanksgiving gives us a wonderful opportunity for training.Â  We can utilize the theme of this holiday to start our holiday season off with an attitude of gratitude.Â  One way to do that is by creating an “Iâ€™m thankful for list”.Â  Starting today put a poster board up in a central location of your house.Â  It can be a plain poster board or you can enlist the help of your children to decorate it.Â Â  Parents can take the initiative and begin every day by writing at least one thing on the list that they are thankful for. Make a game of seeing who can come up with the most things.Â  Keeping the things that we are thankful for in the forefront of our minds will begin to train us, and our children, to have grateful hearts. For more ideas on teaching gratitude through fun activities check out, http://glittermagic.wordpress.com/2010/11/11/10-ways-to-celebrate-gratitude-in-your-happy-home/

<h3>Getting Ready for a Successful Thanksgiving</h3> <p>Gratitude is not something that is an innate human trait.Â  Because we are all born selfish, it is something that is both caught and taught.Â  As God designed it, babies spend all of their time having their needs met.Â  As children get older they are taught to be more and more self-sufficient.Â  If we are not spending time training our children to have a grateful heart however, they will keep that selfish attitude.</p> <p>Thanksgiving gives us a wonderful opportunity for training.Â  We can utilize the theme of this holiday to start our holiday season off with an attitude of gratitude.Â  One way to do that is by creating an “Iâ€™m thankful for list”.Â  Starting today put a poster board up in a central location of your house.Â  It can be a plain poster board or you can enlist the help of your children to decorate it.Â Â  Parents can take the initiative and begin every day by writing at least one thing on the list that they are thankful for. Make a game of seeing who can come up with the most things.Â  Keeping the things that we are thankful for in the forefront of our minds will begin to train us, and our children, to have grateful hearts.</p> <p>For more ideas on teaching gratitude through fun activities check out,</p> <p><a href="http://glittermagic.wordpress.com/2010/11/11/10-ways-to-celebrate-gratitude-in-your-happy-home/" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank">http://glittermagic.wordpress.com/2010/11/11/10-ways-to-celebrate-gratitude-in-your-happy-home/</a></p>

Raising a Grateful Child – Part 1

The Pleaser and the Barbarian We have mentioned many times that when it comes to discipline children fall into two main categories, the pleaser and the barbarian. There will be differences from child to child because no two are identical. The barbarian child is also known as the strong willed child. They are the ones who if given an instruction may do the opposite just to see what happens or to see what mom and dad will do. The pleaser child is the one who doesnâ€™t put up as much of a fight and seemingly falls under authority more easily. There are benefits and difficulties with both. The barbarian may seem obvious that they tend to keep their parents on their toes especially in those early years. They are the ones who will definitely test to see if that â€œnoâ€ means â€œnoâ€ to see if there are inconsistencies. The pleaser child because they are seemingly falling right in line, are the ones who can overlooked especially when a parent has another child who is consistently testing the waters. If that happens a pleaser could then fall into a pattern of being manipulative or following the rules but only when someone is watching. This pleaser child is the one we are going to look at this week and discuss how we can bring out the best in this personality.

<h3>The Pleaser and the Barbarian</h3> <p>We have mentioned many times that when it comes to discipline children fall into two main categories, the pleaser and the barbarian. There will be differences from child to child because no two are identical. The barbarian child is also known as the strong willed child. They are the ones who if given an instruction may do the opposite just to see what happens or to see what mom and dad will do. The pleaser child is the one who doesnâ€™t put up as much of a fight and seemingly falls under authority more easily.</p> <p>There are benefits and difficulties with both. The barbarian may seem obvious that they tend to keep their parents on their toes especially in those early years. They are the ones who will definitely test to see if that â€œnoâ€ means â€œnoâ€ to see if there are inconsistencies. The pleaser child because they are seemingly falling right in line, are the ones who can overlooked especially when a parent has another child who is consistently testing the waters. If that happens a pleaser could then fall into a pattern of being manipulative or following the rules but only when someone is watching. This pleaser child is the one we are going to look at this week and discuss how we can bring out the best in this personality.</p>

Helping Your Pleaser Become A Leader | Part 1

When Others Damage Your Child’s Self-Esteem Learning how to cope when other children are mean is something that unfortunately every child will have to face.Â  How we handle these situations as parents can affect their self-esteem. When a parent underestimates a childâ€™s pain and downplays or ignores a peer problem it can cause damage. Â Â Â A child can feel even worse if a parent brushes off the emotion that they are feeling.Â  The other reaction that a parent can have is to over react and try to fight the childâ€™s battle first with out allowing the child to attempt to work it out on their own.Â  There are extreme circumstances, such as threats, that warrant parental involvement. If a parent overreacts to every circumstance then it could cause a child to clam up and not talk to a parent about what is going on in their lives. Todayâ€™s child can face a different level of bullying then any other generation.Â  Social networking has made it so that home isnâ€™t even a safe place from bullying.Â  We need to stay aware of what is going on in our childrenâ€™s lives.Â  We do this by creating an environment for consistent communication.Â  When your child is struggling with a situation just sit and be a listening ear.Â  Sometimes a simple hug is encouragement enough.Â  Help your child process how to handle the situation by asking, â€œWhat do you think you should do?â€Â  Most of the time just being a listening ear is the encouragement needed, more then being able to say â€œall the right words.â€   Listen to todayâ€™s podcast for more insight on your childâ€™s self-esteem.

<h2>When Others Damage Your Child’s Self-Esteem</h2> <p>Learning how to cope when other children are mean is something that unfortunately every child will have to face.Â  How we handle these situations as parents can affect their self-esteem.</p> <p>When a parent underestimates a childâ€™s pain and downplays or ignores a peer problem it can cause damage. Â Â Â A child can feel even worse if a parent brushes off the emotion that they are feeling.Â  The other reaction that a parent can have is to over react and try to fight the childâ€™s battle first with out allowing the child to attempt to work it out on their own.Â  There are extreme circumstances, such as threats, that warrant parental involvement. If a parent overreacts to every circumstance then it could cause a child to clam up and not talk to a parent about what is going on in their lives.</p> <p>Todayâ€™s child can face a different level of bullying then any other generation.Â  Social networking has made it so that home isnâ€™t even a safe place from bullying.Â  We need to stay aware of what is going on in our childrenâ€™s lives.Â  We do this by creating an environment for consistent communication.Â  When your child is struggling with a situation just sit and be a listening ear.Â  Sometimes a simple hug is encouragement enough.Â  Help your child process how to handle the situation by asking, â€œWhat do you think you should do?â€Â  Most of the time just being a listening ear is the encouragement needed, more then being able to say â€œall the right words.â€</p> <p> </p> <p>Listen to todayâ€™s podcast for more insight on your childâ€™s self-esteem.</p>

The Battle For A Child’s Self-Esteem | Part 5

What is self-esteemÂ and how does it affect my child? The concept of self-esteem can be a very elusive and ethereal topic.Â Â What is it, and how can I make sure that my kids have positive self-esteem?Â Â We are going to spend the next week discussing this topic. Self-esteem starts with a question.Â Â Society would have us find our worth through asking ourselves these questions. What am I worth financially? How happy am I? How well liked am I? How successful am I at my career?Â Â But the fundamental question that is at the base of someoneâ€™s self-esteem is not any of these but simply, Whose am I? When we have a relationship with God, we are His child.Â Â We are cared for, provided for, protected and love by the Creator of the universe.Â Â Â That is theÂ answer for who we really are and the foundation for a positive self-esteem.Â Â This is something that we as parents must not only believe for ourselves but communicate to our children.Â Â Our children are not only loved by us but by God himself! Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on your child’s self-esteem.

<h2>What is self-esteemÂ and how does it affect my child?</h2> <p>The concept of self-esteem can be a very elusive and ethereal topic.Â Â What is it, and how can I make sure that my kids have positive self-esteem?Â Â We are going to spend the next week discussing this topic.</p> <p>Self-esteem starts with a question.Â Â Society would have us find our worth through asking ourselves these questions. What am I worth financially? How happy am I? How well liked am I? How successful am I at my career?Â Â But the fundamental question that is at the base of someoneâ€™s self-esteem is not any of these but simply, Whose am I?</p> <p>When we have a relationship with God, we are His child.Â Â We are cared for, provided for, protected and love by the Creator of the universe.Â Â Â That is theÂ answer for who we really are and the foundation for a positive self-esteem.Â Â This is something that we as parents must not only believe for ourselves but communicate to our children.Â Â Our children are not only loved by us but by God himself!</p> <p>Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on your child’s self-esteem.</p>

The Battle For a Child’s Self-Esteem | Part 1

Don’t Teach Them To Respect Authority Many have said that parenting isn’t for the feint of heart. Â Parenting is hard work! Unfortunately, there are things that we can do to make it much more difficult then it has to be. Â The first thing that will make life a lot more difficult is to not instill respect for authority in our children. Â This can make things much more difficult at home and sets our child up for failure, not only at school but as an adult. Â This is such an important issue we spent a week discussing how and why to teach respect to your children. Â Click here to see that series.

<h3>Don’t Teach Them To Respect Authority</h3> <p>Many have said that parenting isn’t for the feint of heart. Â Parenting is hard work! Unfortunately, there are things that we can do to make it much more difficult then it has to be. Â The first thing that will make life a lot more difficult is to not instill respect for authority in our children. Â This can make things much more difficult at home and sets our child up for failure, not only at school but as an adult. Â This is such an important issue we spent a week discussing how and why to teach respect to your children. Â <a href="http://parentingonpurpose.org/broadcast/training-your-child-to-respect-authority-with-torrey-roberts-part-1/" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank">Click here</a> to see that series.</p>

Five Ways to Make Parenting More Difficult Than It Already Is | Part 1

Choosing To Be Your Spouses Best Friend  In order to become best friends, we need to make this relationship a top priority. It’s easy when life happens, children enter the picture and stress creeps in to allow marriage to get place on the back burner. If we are not careful then years may go by and we may look at our spouse and realize that we are married to a stranger. We need to take the time to input into our marriage through all the stress and chaos so that we are able to grow together. This enables to to become one flesh. Jesus tells us in Matthew 22:37-39 Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.â€™ As many times as I hear this verse it’s such a great reminder that our closest neighbor is our spouse. If we are not choosing to love them then how can we expect the love to appropriately trickle down to our children then those around us. Check back the rest of this week as we discuss tips for pursuing a best friend relationship with your spouse.

<p><strong>Choosing To Be Your Spouses Best Friend </strong></p> <p>In order to become best friends, we need to make this relationship a top priority. It’s easy when life happens, children enter the picture and stress creeps in to allow marriage to get place on the back burner. If we are not careful then years may go by and we may look at our spouse and realize that we are married to a stranger. We need to take the time to input into our marriage through all the stress and chaos so that we are able to grow together. This enables to to become one flesh.<br/> Jesus tells us in Matthew 22:37-39 Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.â€™ As many times as I hear this verse it’s such a great reminder that our closest neighbor is our spouse. If we are not choosing to love them then how can we expect the love to appropriately trickle down to our children then those around us. Check back the rest of this week as we discuss tips for pursuing a best friend relationship with your spouse.</p>

Becoming Your Spouseâ€™s Best Friend | Part 1

Why Does My Child Tell Lies? To deal with this difficult topic in parenting we must start by asking the question, what is lying? International Standard Bible Encyclopedia, Electronic Database defines a lie in this way; â€œIn its very essence, a lie is something said with intent to deceive. It is not always a spoken word that is a lie, for a life lived under false pretenses, a hypocritical life, may be a lie equally with a false word.â€ So why do lies happen? For children it may simply be to get out of trouble or an over active imagination.Â  For teens it may also add for appearances sake, they want to please their peers or not want to feel bad about themselves. Thirdly, we can ask where do lies come from? John 8:44 says this, â€œFor you are the children of your father the devil, and you love to do the evil things he does. He was a murderer from the beginning. He has always hated the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, it is consistent with his character; for he is a liar and the father of lies.â€ Meaning, we all have a sin nature so it is natural for us to immediately resort to lying when we are caught at something.Â  We must be trained to be truth tellers. Now that we have answered these three important questions check back the rest of this week for answers on dealing with lying.

<h3>Why Does My Child Tell Lies?</h3> <p>To deal with this difficult topic in parenting we must start by asking the question, what is lying? International Standard Bible Encyclopedia, Electronic Database defines a lie in this way; â€œIn its very essence, a lie is something said with intent to deceive. It is not always a spoken word that is a lie, for a life lived under false pretenses, a hypocritical life, may be a lie equally with a false word.â€</p> <p>So why do lies happen? For children it may simply be to get out of trouble or an over active imagination.Â  For teens it may also add for appearances sake, they want to please their peers or not want to feel bad about themselves.</p> <p>Thirdly, we can ask where do lies come from? John 8:44 says this, â€œFor you are the children of your father the devil, and you love to do the evil things he does. He was a murderer from the beginning. He has always hated the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, it is consistent with his character; for he is a liar and the father of lies.â€ Meaning, we all have a sin nature so it is natural for us to immediately resort to lying when we are caught at something.Â  We must be trained to be truth tellers.</p> <p>Now that we have answered these three important questions check back the rest of this week for answers on dealing with lying.</p>

Dealing with Lying | Part 1

Ways To Get Help As A Mom And As An Individual One thing that we could all use more of is encouragement.Â  As moms we really benefit from being around others who are in the same stage of life as we are or even people who have gone ahead of us.Â  It is so easy for us as moms to get isolated in our daily activities and unless we are intentional we end up feeling so lonely. There are many ways to find time to be with other moms.Â Â  Many churches have ministries solely for moms.Â  You can even set up a time every week for a park date with other moms who have kids of similar age.Â  Especially as we head into the summer months with our children home we need to be intentional about making these times out with other moms. It is also beneficial to be able to have some adult woman time away from the children.Â  Whether that is a bible study that has child care or your husband is willing to take the children for an evening every once in a while.Â  Women thrive in community.Â  We even seem to get energy from being around each other.Â  This is another thing that is important to make sure and some how fit it into that crazy schedule.Â  It is worth the effort!   Listen to todayâ€™s podcast for more insight on the topic of mothering.

<h3>Ways To Get Help As A Mom And As An Individual</h3> <p>One thing that we could all use more of is encouragement.Â  As moms we really benefit from being around others who are in the same stage of life as we are or even people who have gone ahead of us.Â  It is so easy for us as moms to get isolated in our daily activities and unless we are intentional we end up feeling so lonely.</p> <p>There are many ways to find time to be with other moms.Â Â  Many churches have ministries solely for moms.Â  You can even set up a time every week for a park date with other moms who have kids of similar age.Â  Especially as we head into the summer months with our children home we need to be intentional about making these times out with other moms.</p> <p>It is also beneficial to be able to have some adult woman time away from the children.Â  Whether that is a bible study that has child care or your husband is willing to take the children for an evening every once in a while.Â  Women thrive in community.Â  We even seem to get energy from being around each other.Â  This is another thing that is important to make sure and some how fit it into that crazy schedule.Â  It is worth the effort!</p> <p> </p> <p>Listen to todayâ€™s podcast for more insight on the topic of mothering.</p>

Mothering is Harder Than I Thought | Part 5

The Research Is In Why should parents take charge of the cyber input that is invading the life of theirÂ children?Â  First, the cyber world is here to stay.Â  Secondly, it is so dominant in our culture that it needs to be looked at.Â  Third, research is now coming out in volumes stating that while there is the good impact, there is also damaging impact and a potentially devastating impact.Â  This digital invasion came so fast in every area of our lives, we embraced it without thinking.Â  It was almost forced on us; it led us rather than us leading and controlling it There has been a societal shift that has affected the day to day of our children.Â Â  First, it was television that drew kids indoors, then gaming, now it is the draw of the social aspect of the internet.Â  This impacts the way kids interact with each other.Â  Instead of going outside to play with friends they can now meet up in the virtual gaming world via the internet.Â  This has an impact on everything from the social skills of our children to their physical health.Â  We will spend the rest of this week looking into these dynamics and how they impact our families and children, be sure to check back!   As always listen to todayâ€™s podcast for more insight on this topic.

<h3>The Research Is In</h3> <p>Why should parents take charge of the cyber input that is invading the life of theirÂ children?Â  First, the cyber world is here to stay.Â  Secondly, it is so dominant in our culture that it needs to be looked at.Â  Third, research is now coming out in volumes stating that while there is the good impact, there is also damaging impact and a potentially devastating impact.Â  This digital invasion came so fast in every area of our lives, we embraced it without thinking.Â  It was almost forced on us; it led us rather than us leading and controlling it</p> <p>There has been a societal shift that has affected the day to day of our children.Â Â  First, it was television that drew kids indoors, then gaming, now it is the draw of the social aspect of the internet.Â  This impacts the way kids interact with each other.Â  Instead of going outside to play with friends they can now meet up in the virtual gaming world via the internet.Â  This has an impact on everything from the social skills of our children to their physical health.Â  We will spend the rest of this week looking into these dynamics and how they impact our families and children, be sure to check back!</p> <p> </p> <p>As always listen to todayâ€™s podcast for more insight on this topic.</p>

Dealing With the Cyber Tsunami | Part 1

Donâ€™t Teach Them To Love and Respect God How are we living out our faith in front of our children? Are we a family who lives out what it means to have a relationship with Jesus or are we merely a family who follows a list of religious doâ€™s and donâ€™ts?Â  Is this relationship something that permeates all aspects of our family life or is it simply something we do on Sunday? The very core and center of what we do, should be focused on opportunities to teach our child about Christ. For more on this click here to see our week long series on how to raise a disciple. Always check out the podcast for more insight.

<h3>Donâ€™t Teach Them To Love and Respect God</h3> <p>How are we living out our faith in front of our children? Are we a family who lives out what it means to have a relationship with Jesus or are we merely a family who follows a list of religious doâ€™s and donâ€™ts?Â  Is this relationship something that permeates all aspects of our family life or is it simply something we do on Sunday? The very core and center of what we do, should be focused on opportunities to teach our child about Christ. For more on this<a href="http://parentingonpurpose.org/broadcast/training-up-a-godly-child-part-1/" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank"> click here</a> to see our week long series on how to raise a disciple.</p> <p>Always check out the podcast for more insight.</p>

Five Ways to Make Parenting More Difficult Than It Already Is | Part 5

Motherhood Is More Challenging Then I Imagined This weekâ€™s topic hits very close to home for me personally as the mother of a two year old.Â  We are going to talk about how to deal with the overwhelming day to day responsibilities of being a mom.Â  I can say that I have seen this from all aspects, from ten years working with the teens parents in residential care to the current stage of being around my friends with young children, every mom has days of feeling overwhelmed at the continuous task at hand.. .raising children! We are going to spend the week talking about how we cope on those days and how we get to the point of choosing to be fulfilled with the awesome job we have been privileged too.Â  The first thing that we can do is take a step back and analyze our expectations.Â  Some one once said to me â€œthereâ€™s no such thing as a perfect parent, just a good enough parent.â€Â  I love this quote and every time I think about this it takes a weight off. Â Part of a mom’s stress today is the feeling that we are expected to be able to do everything and do it all perfectly, in perfect balance.Â  From keeping house, bringing in money, pouring into our kids lives, raising spiritual giants, keeping our kids healthy and well exercised, being involved in school and church functions and have time to work out and maintain the perfect body, to name a few.Â  Â We can work ourselves into a frenzy trying to keep up this level of balance and order. Take the time to sift through those expectations and cut yourself some slack.Â  There is no way to maintain this level all the time, something will get the short end of our attention.Â  We cannot allow it to be actually raising our children!Â  As we process today some verses that have helped me recently is Luke 9:46-48. â€œAn argument started among the disciples as to which of them would be the greatest. Jesus, knowing their thoughts, took a little child and had him stand beside him. Then he said to them, â€œWhoever welcomes this little child in my name welcomes me; and whoever welcomes me welcomes the one who sent me. For it is the one who is least among you all who is the greatest.â€ It is a reminder from the only perfect parent, there is nothing greater we can do with our time then serve the â€œleast of these.â€Â  When we do this we are serving Him!   Listen to todayâ€™s podcast for more wisdom on this topic!

<h3>Motherhood Is More Challenging Then I Imagined</h3> <p>This weekâ€™s topic hits very close to home for me personally as the mother of a two year old.Â  We are going to talk about how to deal with the overwhelming day to day responsibilities of being a mom.Â  I can say that I have seen this from all aspects, from ten years working with the teens parents in residential care to the current stage of being around my friends with young children, every mom has days of feeling overwhelmed at the continuous task at hand.. .raising children!</p> <p>We are going to spend the week talking about how we cope on those days and how we get to the point of choosing to be fulfilled with the awesome job we have been privileged too.Â  The first thing that we can do is take a step back and analyze our expectations.Â  Some one once said to me â€œthereâ€™s no such thing as a perfect parent, just a good enough parent.â€Â  I love this quote and every time I think about this it takes a weight off. Â Part of a mom’s stress today is the feeling that we are expected to be able to do everything and do it all perfectly, in perfect balance.Â  From keeping house, bringing in money, pouring into our kids lives, raising spiritual giants, keeping our kids healthy and well exercised, being involved in school and church functions and have time to work out and maintain the perfect body, to name a few.Â  Â We can work ourselves into a frenzy trying to keep up this level of balance and order. Take the time to sift through those expectations and cut yourself some slack.Â  There is no way to maintain this level all the time, something will get the short end of our attention.Â  We cannot allow it to be actually raising our children!Â  As we process today some verses that have helped me recently is Luke 9:46-48.</p> <p>â€œAn argument started among the disciples as to which of them would be the greatest. Jesus, knowing their thoughts, took a little child and had him stand beside him. Then he said to them, â€œWhoever welcomes this little child in my name welcomes me; and whoever welcomes me welcomes the one who sent me. For it is the one who is least among you all who is the greatest.â€</p> <p>It is a reminder from the only perfect parent, there is nothing greater we can do with our time then serve the â€œleast of these.â€Â  When we do this we are serving Him!</p> <p> </p> <p>Listen to todayâ€™s podcast for more wisdom on this topic!</p>

Mothering is Harder Than I Thought | Part 1

Why Is Lying Important to Deal With? Lying is a very deep rooted issue.Â  It is an extremely self-centered act.Â  It is done at the expense of others for personal gain. Lying must be dealt with as part of the training of the child. If you canâ€™t trust a child to tell you the truth, how can you let them out of your sight? How can you let them move on the next steps of training. Lying is an effort to avoid taking responsibility for my humanity. Itâ€™s a natural response â€¦ if I can get away with it.Â  So if it a â€œnatural responseâ€ why must we take it so seriously, because lying is addictive.Â  Lying can become so addictive that even the person doing it has a hard time deciphering the truth.Â  Many times in residential program the children have been so conditioned to lie they have to be retrained to tell the truth. A child must be taught to work on thinking out his response.Â  I heard once that we shouldnâ€™t as parents put our children in a position to lie.Â  For example, a mom sees her young child throw a toy instead of asking â€œdid you just throw that?â€ She can rephrase the question and say â€œI just saw you throw that toyâ€ and proceed with the discussion.Â  Help your child learn to discuss the whys of the situation. â€œmommy I threw the toy because I was pretending that it was a spaceship.â€Â  Even something as small as this can help a child process their responses. It is the job of the parent to help the child learn to accept the responsibility for his unacceptable behaviors and part of teaching responsibility.Â Â  We want to raise children who are trustworthy so we must take lying very seriously.

<h3>Why Is Lying Important to Deal With?</h3> <p>Lying is a very deep rooted issue.Â  It is an extremely self-centered act.Â  It is done at the expense of others for personal gain. Lying must be dealt with as part of the training of the child. If you canâ€™t trust a child to tell you the truth, how can you let them out of your sight? How can you let them move on the next steps of training.</p> <p>Lying is an effort to avoid taking responsibility for my humanity. Itâ€™s a natural response â€¦ if I can get away with it.Â  So if it a â€œnatural responseâ€ why must we take it so seriously, because lying is addictive.Â  Lying can become so addictive that even the person doing it has a hard time deciphering the truth.Â  Many times in residential program the children have been so conditioned to lie they have to be retrained to tell the truth.</p> <p>A child must be taught to work on thinking out his response.Â  I heard once that we shouldnâ€™t as parents put our children in a position to lie.Â  For example, a mom sees her young child throw a toy instead of asking â€œdid you just throw that?â€ She can rephrase the question and say â€œI just saw you throw that toyâ€ and proceed with the discussion.Â  Help your child learn to discuss the whys of the situation. â€œmommy I threw the toy because I was pretending that it was a spaceship.â€Â  Even something as small as this can help a child process their responses. It is the job of the parent to help the child learn to accept the responsibility for his unacceptable behaviors and part of teaching responsibility.Â Â  We want to raise children who are trustworthy so we must take lying very seriously.</p>

Dealing with Lying | Part 2

Where does Self-Esteem Begin in a Child’s Development Process? When does our child’s self-esteem begin to be built? It actually begins at birth with the mother/child bonding.Â  Through the bonding experience of those early days and months we are communicating love and security.Â  A child cannot yet comprehend the concept of God as their Father so until that time we are communicating His love through our parenting. The thing that we need to remember is that, unlike God, we are not perfect and will make mistakes.Â Â  That is actually a relieving thought; there is no such thing as a perfect parent.Â  We all may have the best of intentions but we will make mistakes.Â  Admitting these mistakes will actually help your child through these moments. We can also use these times as a teaching tool, although mom and dad arenâ€™t perfect their Heavenly Father is. We can also communicate our love when our child makes a mistake.Â  Our child must know that we love them not how they perform.Â  We can create this environment by verbally communicating our love even when they have messed up or broken a rule.Â  We will talk more tomorrow about self-esteem and discipline.   Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on your child’s self-esteem

<h2>Where does Self-Esteem Begin in a Child’s Development Process?</h2> <p>When does our child’s self-esteem begin to be built? It actually begins at birth with the mother/child bonding.Â  Through the bonding experience of those early days and months we are communicating love and security.Â  A child cannot yet comprehend the concept of God as their Father so until that time we are communicating His love through our parenting.</p> <p>The thing that we need to remember is that, unlike God, we are not perfect and will make mistakes.Â Â  That is actually a relieving thought; there is no such thing as a perfect parent.Â  We all may have the best of intentions but we will make mistakes.Â  Admitting these mistakes will actually help your child through these moments. We can also use these times as a teaching tool, although mom and dad arenâ€™t perfect their Heavenly Father is.</p> <p>We can also communicate our love when our child makes a mistake.Â  Our child must know that we love them not how they perform.Â  We can create this environment by verbally communicating our love even when they have messed up or broken a rule.Â  We will talk more tomorrow about self-esteem and discipline.</p> <p> </p> <p>Listen to today’s podcast for more insight on your child’s self-esteem</p>

The Battle For A Child’s Self-Esteem | Part 2

Itâ€™s A Parentâ€™s Responsibility It is a parentâ€™s job to put the cyber world in its proper place in the family.Â  This is one of those important areas to sit and have a parental staff meeting about.Â  It must be decided the where, how, when and what for the internet will be used.Â  Like we have stated there are some beneficial uses, such as schoolwork.Â Â  Researching for things is much easier when the internet can be properly utilized.Â  Teachers have even been know to set up web-pages for big projects so kids can work as groups or use it as a resource.Â  There are even online tutors and countless supplemental learning resources can be found.Â  We have to be careful not to through the baby out with the bath water but that baby does have to be monitored.Â  Start with the question of where is internet use acceptable.Â  In a childâ€™s bedroom is not the best place. It needs to be a family computer out in the open set up for accountability.Â  Secondly, how can your kids access the internet? Is it ok for them to use the internet on smart phones, game systems and tablets, or will it only be on the computer? Â Next will be the when.Â  Set up boundaries and specific times especially with your teens, for whom internet usage will have a social aspect.Â  Phones should not be allowed in the room at night or at the dinner table, for example.Â Â  It is our responsibility to set up a plan for how the internet will be used but not abused in our homes.

<h3>Itâ€™s A Parentâ€™s Responsibility</h3> <p>It is a parentâ€™s job to put the cyber world in its proper place in the family.Â  This is one of those important areas to sit and have a parental staff meeting about.Â  It must be decided the where, how, when and what for the internet will be used.Â  Like we have stated there are some beneficial uses, such as schoolwork.Â Â  Researching for things is much easier when the internet can be properly utilized.Â  Teachers have even been know to set up web-pages for big projects so kids can work as groups or use it as a resource.Â  There are even online tutors and countless supplemental learning resources can be found.Â  We have to be careful not to through the baby out with the bath water but that baby does have to be monitored.Â  Start with the question of where is internet use acceptable.Â  In a childâ€™s bedroom is not the best place. It needs to be a family computer out in the open set up for accountability.Â  Secondly, how can your kids access the internet? Is it ok for them to use the internet on smart phones, game systems and tablets, or will it only be on the computer? Â Next will be the when.Â  Set up boundaries and specific times especially with your teens, for whom internet usage will have a social aspect.Â  Phones should not be allowed in the room at night or at the dinner table, for example.Â Â  It is our responsibility to set up a plan for how the internet will be used but not abused in our homes.</p>

Dealing With the Cyber Tsunami | Part 2

Rosemary Barnes

The Need To Set Boundaries With everything going on in the world around us it is easy to see how important placing boundaries around your marriage is.Â  We must be proactive to protect our relationship with our spouse.Â  This is such an important topic we spent a week discussing it.Â  Click here to check out our series on boundaries in marriage.Â  Be sure to check back tomorrow as we begin to discuss the Five â€œAâ€™sâ€ or areas of need in a marriage.

<h3>The Need To Set Boundaries</h3> <p>With everything going on in the world around us it is easy to see how important placing boundaries around your marriage is.Â  We must be proactive to protect our relationship with our spouse.Â  This is such an important topic we spent a week discussing it<a href="http://parentingonpurpose.org/series/protecting-my-marriage-with-boundaries/" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank">.Â  Click here</a> to check out our series on boundaries in marriage.Â  Be sure to check back tomorrow as we begin to discuss the Five â€œAâ€™sâ€ or areas of need in a marriage.</p>

The Proactive Marriage with Rosemary Barnes | Part 1

Why Is It So Challenging? It almost seems that the area of bedtime can be a battle for every stage of parenting, from birth to curfew.Â  This week we will address those issues, as well as, steps we can take as parents to help the bedtime battle. The first thing we need to ask is why does this battle take place?Â  For smaller children the resistance can be rooted in fear.Â  There may be a legitimate fear of the dark, a fear of the unknown or a fear of being alone.Â  The last may be especially true if one parent has left.Â  We need to be sensitive to our children if fear is involved.Â  Things that seem irrational to adults can be a source of fear in children because of the developmental phase they are in.Â  For example, fears of being sucked down the drain with the draining water in the bathtub is very real to the over imaginative child. Bedtime can also be one of the first battles of the will, however.Â  It becomes not about going to bed or staying in bed, it becomes a battle of control.Â  This can be one of the first big tests for making your â€œno mean no.â€Â  It is our job as parents to take the time at bedtime to decipher if there are legitimate fears but be consistent with our â€œnoâ€.

<h3>Why Is It So Challenging?</h3> <p>It almost seems that the area of bedtime can be a battle for every stage of parenting, from birth to curfew.Â  This week we will address those issues, as well as, steps we can take as parents to help the bedtime battle.</p> <p>The first thing we need to ask is why does this battle take place?Â  For smaller children the resistance can be rooted in fear.Â  There may be a legitimate fear of the dark, a fear of the unknown or a fear of being alone.Â  The last may be especially true if one parent has left.Â  We need to be sensitive to our children if fear is involved.Â  Things that seem irrational to adults can be a source of fear in children because of the developmental phase they are in.Â  For example, fears of being sucked down the drain with the draining water in the bathtub is very real to the over imaginative child.</p> <p>Bedtime can also be one of the first battles of the will, however.Â  It becomes not about going to bed or staying in bed, it becomes a battle of control.Â  This can be one of the first big tests for making your â€œno mean no.â€Â  It is our job as parents to take the time at bedtime to decipher if there are legitimate fears but be consistent with our â€œnoâ€.</p>

Dealing with Bedtime | Part 1

Getting Past the “Selfie” Todayâ€™s cultural focus is the individual. If we are not careful we can allow this to impact our parenting. We are told to value â€œme timeâ€ or that we â€œdeserveâ€ certain things, even if it is to the detriment of others. This seems to be blatantly obvious anytime we are out on the road, itâ€™s hard to find a lot of selfless drivers. Now while it is important to celebrate each special quality that makes our children unique, the gifts and talents that God gave them, we have to find balance and help them learn to thrive in a unit. In todayâ€™s â€œselfieâ€ culture we are raising a generation that if we are not conscious, will not be marriageable and employable. I think we could all agree that we want our children to be selfless not selfish. In fact this is imperative if we are Christ followers. Christ taught us in order to lead we must serve. Philippians 2:3 tells us, â€œDo nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interest but each of you to the interest of the others.â€

<h3>Getting Past the “Selfie”</h3> <p>Todayâ€™s cultural focus is the individual. If we are not careful we can allow this to impact our parenting. We are told to value â€œme timeâ€ or that we â€œdeserveâ€ certain things, even if it is to the detriment of others. This seems to be blatantly obvious anytime we are out on the road, itâ€™s hard to find a lot of selfless drivers. Now while it is important to celebrate each special quality that makes our children unique, the gifts and talents that God gave them, we have to find balance and help them learn to thrive in a unit. In todayâ€™s â€œselfieâ€ culture we are raising a generation that if we are not conscious, will not be marriageable and employable.</p> <p>I think we could all agree that we want our children to be selfless not selfish. In fact this is imperative if we are Christ followers. Christ taught us in order to lead we must serve. Philippians 2:3 tells us, â€œDo nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interest but each of you to the interest of the others.â€</p>

Finding the Balance of Family and Individual | Part 1

Finding the Balance of Family and Individual | Part 5

Teaching Gratitude Through the Christmas Season Choose to continue the momentum that you have built training your children in gratitude through the holiday season.Â  Christmas can be a difficult time for our children to have a grateful heart.Â  There are millions of dollars being spent this season on advertising to convince us that we need things that we donâ€™t have. One way to continue the momentum is by serving others.Â  Continue to create excitement for your family service project.Â  Look for other places you can serve others and include your children.Â  Offer to help an older woman or a woman with small children, load their groceries into their car.Â  Have your children help you babysit for a couple with small children so they can get out during this busy season.Â  Have your children help bake cookies to take to the neighbors.Â  There are many ways to serve others we just have to make that our focus and wait for the opportunity.Â  You can even make that a game with your children, who can spot an opportunity to serve first. Another thing we can do as a family is continue our â€œI am grateful for listâ€. Every night before bed or at the dinner table, each family member can say one thing that they are thankful for.Â  Continue your focus on gratitude through out the Christmas season.

<h3>Teaching Gratitude Through the Christmas Season</h3> <p>Choose to continue the momentum that you have built training your children in gratitude through the holiday season.Â  Christmas can be a difficult time for our children to have a grateful heart.Â  There are millions of dollars being spent this season on advertising to convince us that we need things that we donâ€™t have.</p> <p>One way to continue the momentum is by serving others.Â  Continue to create excitement for your family service project.Â  Look for other places you can serve others and include your children.Â  Offer to help an older woman or a woman with small children, load their groceries into their car.Â  Have your children help you babysit for a couple with small children so they can get out during this busy season.Â  Have your children help bake cookies to take to the neighbors.Â  There are many ways to serve others we just have to make that our focus and wait for the opportunity.Â  You can even make that a game with your children, who can spot an opportunity to serve first.</p> <p>Another thing we can do as a family is continue our â€œI am grateful for listâ€. Every night before bed or at the dinner table, each family member can say one thing that they are thankful for.Â  Continue your focus on gratitude through out the Christmas season.</p>

Raising a Grateful Child | Part 4

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