Joe Zarate-Sanderlin's guest appearances

Joe Zarate-Sanderlin

Sexology

Rebel Therapist

American Sex

Lee Harrington

Isa Gucciardi

Joanna Angel

Justin Lehmiller

Montoyia McGowan

Melvin Varghese

Aziz Ansari

Clay Cockrell

Sonalee Rashatwar

Kelly Diels

Hilary Kinavey

John Edwards

Andrew Gurza

August McLaughlin

Wendy Williams

OwlTail

“The BDSM Test” is infamous in the kink community and beyond. Since 2014, thousands have proudly posted results like a badge of honor on FetLife profiles. We use it as a roadmap, educational tool, and kink negotiation starter. It’s even gone vanilla as the focus of social media challenges and pop magazine writeups. But is this kink subculture phenomenon all it's cracked up to be? While some find it helpful &amp; validating, many say it’s othering, stigmatizing, and normalizes red-flag behavior disguised as “kink.” Midori &amp; kinky therapist Joe Zarate-Sanderlin join us on ep 192 to deconstruct the BDSM test question by question + explore its wider impact. Why don't we scrutinize it the same way vet other educational sources? Who wrote this kink test, why, and what are they using the massive amount of data they’re collecting about our deviant desires for? Turns out, it’s a bit of a mystery…   Midori Bio “Your Fairy God-Auntie of Kink. Exploding Expectations. Challenging Conventions.” Trailblazing educator, sexologist, artist, and irritant to banality, Midori founded Rope Dojo and ForteFemme: Women’s Dominance Intensive. She penned the first English instruction book on Shibari, “Seductive Art of Japanese Bondage” in 2001, paving the way for the popularity of rope. Dan Savage calls her the “Super Nova of Kink,” while others affectionately call her Auntie Midori for her cool, tell-it-like-it-is, funny, reality-based teaching. She is also the author of “Wild Side Sex,” “Master Han’s Daughter,” and “Silk Threads.” Education, Coaching, Private Learning &amp; Art: https://planetmidori.com. Special membership perks! Learn, laugh, and enjoy her special online classes, events, and art at www.patreon.com/PlanetMidori  where she is working on her next shibari book!   Joe Zarate-Sanderlin Bio "Joe Zarate-Sanderlin, an Assigned Male at Birth non-binary person (pronouns: they/them/theirs), came of age in the New York City kink scene in the late 1990s and early 2000s and they have connections in the Boston and San Francisco kink communities. They are a California Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with a private practice in San Francisco where they specialize in working with gender, sexuality, and relationship diversity. They teach several courses at Golden Gate University and were recognized as an Outstanding Adjunct Professor for 2022. They provide training and consultation regarding Talking to Clients about Sex, Gender in Psychotherapy, Open Relationships, BDSM Relationships, and other topics. In addition to private practice, their clinical experience includes being supervised by Dossie Easton for two and half years plus volunteering at a Catholic school for three years, a continuation high school for one year, and at a low-fee clinic for four years.  They worked for the Burning Man Emergency Services Department for ten years, both in the Nevada desert and in the streets of San Francisco. In their spare time, they ski, coach and referee soccer, brew kombucha, dance to 80s music, and parent elementary-aged old twins."   Episode 192 Links  Midori Twitter https://twitter.com/PlanetMidori Midori Instagram https://www.instagram.com/planetmidori/ Midori Newsletter https://www.fhp-inc.com/newsletter Midori class/event calendar http://www.FHP-Inc.com/classes Midori’s Patreon https://www.patreon.com/PlanetMidori/ Joe Zarate-Sanderlin Twitter https://twitter.com/jzsmft Joe Zarate-Sanderlin Website http://www.jzsmft.com/ Joe Zarate-Sanderlin Email: joe@jzsmft.com Joe Zarate-Sanderlin  GGU Presents: Empathic Communication https://tinyurl.com/GGU-Empathy Joe Zarate-Sanderlin Gender Inclusive Language https://tinyurl.com/GGU-Gender Joe Zarate-Sanderlin Rebel Therapist: Express Yourself https://rebeltherapist.me/podcast/93 The BDSM Test http://BDSMTest.org @FocusedOnInfinity “Welcome to America”  https://www.tiktok.com/@focusedoninfinity/video/7113012283181190442?is_from_webapp=1&amp;sender_device=pc&amp;web_id=6901962179530294789 @MargaretCho “Don’t Be Scared”  https://www.tiktok.com/@themargaretcho/video/7112909096608730410?is_from_webapp=1&amp;sender_device=pc&amp;web_id=6901962179530294789 TASHRA -THE ALTERNATIVE SEXUALITIES HEALTH RESEARCH ALLIANCE https://www.tashra.org/ CARAS - The Community-Academic Consortium for Research on Alternative Sexualities https://www.carasresearch.org/ Sexual Health Alliance Kink Informed Certification Program for Therapists &amp; Care Professionals https://sexualhealthalliance.com/kink-informed-certification-program Romancing the Shadow: Challenging Limiting Beliefs Through Kink- Midori https://zippermagazine.com/challenginglimiting-beliefs-through-kink/  Additional Links  ZipperMagazine.com https://zippermagazine.com/ Zipper Magazine Instagram https://www.instagram.com/zippermagdotcom/ Zipper Magazine Twitter https://twitter.com/ZipperMagDotcom Zipper Magazine Facebook https://www.facebook.com/Zipper-Magazine-113123824749292 Zipper Magazine Youtube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCxFDRtDhukxyQ_9t-Xfo2-w Open Deeply Podcast http://opendeeplypodcast.com Sunny Megatron TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@sunnymegatron Ken’s charity DnD game Mondays 4pm-7pm PT https://www.twitch.tv/thunderpantsacademy American Sex Podcast Discord Community http://bit.ly/discordasp American Sex Podcast Patreon http://patreon.com/americansex Kink Academy Online BDSM Learning Library http://bit.ly/kinkacademy Sunny’s Free Kink Negotiation &amp; Scene Planning Mini-Workbook https://sunnymegatron.gumroad.com/l/negotiationwb    Episode 192 Sponsor &amp; Affiliate Discount Codes/Links *by using our links &amp; codes you can help support our work while saving a few bucks too—win/win!  15% off AND free shipping when you go to http://LikeAKitten.com/sunny OR enter code SUNNY at checkout   Get up to 2 free months of podcasting service with Libsyn using this link https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=SUNNY or use code SUNNY   Hot &amp; Healthy Erotic Humiliation recorded class https://gum.co/humiliationclass Prostate Play for Beginners (recorded class) from Sugar Baltimore https://www.sugartheshop.com/prostate-milking-for-beginners.html Sunny &amp; Ken’s classes on Kink Academy http://bit.ly/kinkacademyelectric &amp; http://bit.ly/kinkacademyhumiliation   10% off American Sex Podcast &amp; Sunny Megatron merch with code SUNNY (t-shirts, mugs, phone cases &amp; more) http://bit.ly/sunnyshirts 15% off your order at Lovehoney when you use this link http://bit.ly/lovehoney15 This link can be a little wonky and does not keep tracking cookies. If the discount does not show up in your cart (or disappears after you shop around on the site), access the site with that link again. Your items will still be in your cart &amp; the discount will appear) 15% off everything at Lelo.com with code SUNNY 10% off everything (with minor restrictions) online from woman-owned, feminist, trans &amp; queer-friendly Early To Bed http://bit.ly/sunnyetb with code SUNNY 10% off everything from Fun Factory using this link http://bit.ly/sunnyfunfactory and the code SUNNY at checkout 15% off most items from Stockroom https://bit.ly/sunnystockroom15 with code SUNNY   _________ –Submit your BDSM &amp; sex advice questions by email to americansexpodcast@gmail.com –To support American Sex podcast, please visit http://patreon.com/americansex (plus you’ll get all episodes early, secret episodes, bonus stories from guests, on-air shout-outs, stuff in the mail &amp; more!) –Get friendly with us on Twitter at @AmericanSexPod or visit sunnymegatron.com or americansexpodcast.com –Join our mailing list by visiting http://sunnymegatron.com/newsletter Sunny &amp; Ken, xo!

“The BDSM Test” is infamous in the kink community and beyond. Since 2014, thousands have proudly posted results like a badge of honor on FetLife profiles. We use it as a roadmap, educational tool, and kink negotiation starter. It’s even gone vanilla as the focus of social media challenges and pop magazine writeups. But is this kink subculture phenomenon all it's cracked up to be? While some find it helpful &amp; validating, many say it’s othering, stigmatizing, and normalizes red-flag behavior disguised as “kink.” Midori &amp; kinky therapist Joe Zarate-Sanderlin join us on ep 192 to deconstruct the BDSM test question by question + explore its wider impact. Why don't we scrutinize it the same way vet other educational sources? Who wrote this kink test, why, and what are they using the massive amount of data they’re collecting about our deviant desires for? Turns out, it’s a bit of a mystery… Midori Bio “Your Fairy God-Auntie of Kink. Exploding Expectations. Challenging Conventions.” Trailblazing educator, sexologist, artist, and irritant to banality, Midori founded Rope Dojo and ForteFemme: Women’s Dominance Intensive. She penned the first English instruction book on Shibari, “Seductive Art of Japanese Bondage” in 2001, paving the way for the popularity of rope. Dan Savage calls her the “Super Nova of Kink,” while others affectionately call her Auntie Midori for her cool, tell-it-like-it-is, funny, reality-based teaching. She is also the author of “Wild Side Sex,” “Master Han’s Daughter,” and “Silk Threads.” Education, Coaching, Private Learning &amp; Art: <a href="https://planetmidori.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://planetmidori.com</a>. Special membership perks! Learn, laugh, and enjoy her special online classes, events, and art at <a href="http://www.patreon.com/PlanetMidori" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.patreon.com/PlanetMidori</a>  where she is working on her next shibari book! Joe Zarate-Sanderlin Bio "Joe Zarate-Sanderlin, an Assigned Male at Birth non-binary person (pronouns: they/them/theirs), came of age in the New York City kink scene in the late 1990s and early 2000s and they have connections in the Boston and San Francisco kink communities. They are a California Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with a private practice in San Francisco where they specialize in working with gender, sexuality, and relationship diversity. They teach several courses at Golden Gate University and were recognized as an Outstanding Adjunct Professor for 2022. They provide training and consultation regarding Talking to Clients about Sex, Gender in Psychotherapy, Open Relationships, BDSM Relationships, and other topics. In addition to private practice, their clinical experience includes being supervised by Dossie Easton for two and half years plus volunteering at a Catholic school for three years, a continuation high school for one year, and at a low-fee clinic for four years.  They worked for the Burning Man Emergency Services Department for ten years, both in the Nevada desert and in the streets of San Francisco. In their spare time, they ski, coach and referee soccer, brew kombucha, dance to 80s music, and parent elementary-aged old twins." Episode 192 Links <ul> <li>Midori Twitter <a href="https://twitter.com/PlanetMidori" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://twitter.com/PlanetMidori</a></li> <li>Midori Instagram <a href="https://www.instagram.com/planetmidori/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.instagram.com/planetmidori/</a></li> <li>Midori Newsletter <a href="https://www.fhp-inc.com/newsletter" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.fhp-inc.com/newsletter</a></li> <li>Midori class/event calendar <a href="http://www.fhp-inc.com/classes" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">http://www.FHP-Inc.com/classes</a></li> <li>Midori’s Patreon <a href="https://www.patreon.com/PlanetMidori/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.patreon.com/PlanetMidori/</a></li> <li>Joe Zarate-Sanderlin Twitter <a href="https://twitter.com/jzsmft" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://twitter.com/jzsmft</a></li> <li>Joe Zarate-Sanderlin Website <a href="http://www.jzsmft.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">http://www.jzsmft.com/</a></li> <li>Joe Zarate-Sanderlin Email: joe@jzsmft.com</li> <li>Joe Zarate-Sanderlin  GGU Presents: Empathic Communication <a href="https://tinyurl.com/GGU-Empathy" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://tinyurl.com/GGU-Empathy</a></li> <li>Joe Zarate-Sanderlin Gender Inclusive Language <a href="https://tinyurl.com/GGU-Gender" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://tinyurl.com/GGU-Gender</a></li> <li>Joe Zarate-Sanderlin Rebel Therapist: Express Yourself <a href="https://rebeltherapist.me/podcast/93" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://rebeltherapist.me/podcast/93</a></li> <li>The BDSM Test <a href="http://BDSMTest.org" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">http://BDSMTest.org</a></li> <li>@FocusedOnInfinity “Welcome to America” <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@focusedoninfinity/video/7113012283181190442?is_from_webapp=1&amp;sender_device=pc&amp;web_id=6901962179530294789" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> https://www.tiktok.com/@focusedoninfinity/video/7113012283181190442?is_from_webapp=1&amp;sender_device=pc&amp;web_id=6901962179530294789</a></li> <li>@MargaretCho “Don’t Be Scared” <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@themargaretcho/video/7112909096608730410?is_from_webapp=1&amp;sender_device=pc&amp;web_id=6901962179530294789" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> https://www.tiktok.com/@themargaretcho/video/7112909096608730410?is_from_webapp=1&amp;sender_device=pc&amp;web_id=6901962179530294789</a></li> <li>TASHRA -THE ALTERNATIVE SEXUALITIES HEALTH RESEARCH ALLIANCE <a href="https://www.tashra.org/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.tashra.org/</a></li> <li>CARAS - The Community-Academic Consortium for Research on Alternative Sexualities <a href="https://www.carasresearch.org/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.carasresearch.org/</a></li> <li>Sexual Health Alliance Kink Informed Certification Program for Therapists &amp; Care Professionals <a href="https://sexualhealthalliance.com/kink-informed-certification-program" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://sexualhealthalliance.com/kink-informed-certification-program</a></li> <li>Romancing the Shadow: Challenging Limiting Beliefs Through Kink- Midori <a href="https://zippermagazine.com/challenginglimiting-beliefs-through-kink/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://zippermagazine.com/challenginglimiting-beliefs-through-kink/</a></li> </ul> Additional Links <ul> <li><a href="http://ZipperMagazine.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">ZipperMagazine.com</a> <a href="https://zippermagazine.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://zippermagazine.com/</a></li> <li>Zipper Magazine Instagram <a href="https://www.instagram.com/zippermagdotcom/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.instagram.com/zippermagdotcom/</a></li> <li>Zipper Magazine Twitter <a href="https://twitter.com/ZipperMagDotcom" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank">https://twitter.com/ZipperMagDotcom</a></li> <li>Zipper Magazine Facebook <a href="https://www.facebook.com/Zipper-Magazine-113123824749292" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.facebook.com/Zipper-Magazine-113123824749292</a></li> <li>Zipper Magazine Youtube <a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCxFDRtDhukxyQ_9t-Xfo2-w" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCxFDRtDhukxyQ_9t-Xfo2-w</a></li> <li>Open Deeply Podcast <a href="http://opendeeplypodcast.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">http://opendeeplypodcast.com</a></li> <li>Sunny Megatron TikTok <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@sunnymegatron" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.tiktok.com/@sunnymegatron</a></li> <li>Ken’s charity DnD game Mondays 4pm-7pm PT <a href="https://www.twitch.tv/thunderpantsacademy" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.twitch.tv/thunderpantsacademy</a></li> <li>American Sex Podcast Discord Community <a href="https://bit.ly/discordasp" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">http://bit.ly/discordasp</a></li> <li>American Sex Podcast Patreon <a href="https://www.patreon.com/americansex" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">http://patreon.com/americansex</a></li> <li>Kink Academy Online BDSM Learning Library <a href="https://bit.ly/kinkacademy" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">http://bit.ly/kinkacademy</a></li> <li>Sunny’s Free Kink Negotiation &amp; Scene Planning Mini-Workbook <a href="https://sunnymegatron.gumroad.com/l/negotiationwb" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://sunnymegatron.gumroad.com/l/negotiationwb</a></li> </ul> Episode 192 Sponsor &amp; Affiliate Discount Codes/Links *by using our links &amp; codes you can help support our work while saving a few bucks too—win/win! <ul> <li>15% off AND free shipping when you go to <a href="http://likeakitten.com/sunny" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">http://LikeAKitten.com/sunny</a> OR enter code SUNNY at checkout</li> </ul> <ul> <li>Get up to 2 free months of podcasting service with Libsyn using this link <a href="https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=SUNNY" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank">https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=SUNNY</a> or use code SUNNY</li> </ul> <ul> <li>Hot &amp; Healthy Erotic Humiliation recorded class <a href="https://gum.co/humiliationclass" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://gum.co/humiliationclass</a></li> <li>Prostate Play for Beginners (recorded class) from Sugar Baltimore <a href="https://www.sugartheshop.com/prostate-milking-for-beginners.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.sugartheshop.com/prostate-milking-for-beginners.html</a></li> <li>Sunny &amp; Ken’s classes on Kink Academy <a href="https://bit.ly/kinkacademyelectric" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">http://bit.ly/kinkacademyelectric</a> &amp; <a href="https://bit.ly/kinkacademyhumiliation" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">http://bit.ly/kinkacademyhumiliation</a></li> </ul> <ul> <li>10% off American Sex Podcast &amp; Sunny Megatron merch with code SUNNY (t-shirts, mugs, phone cases &amp; more) <a href="https://bit.ly/sunnyshirts" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">http://bit.ly/sunnyshirts</a></li> <li>15% off your order at Lovehoney when you use this link <a href="https://bit.ly/lovehoney15" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">http://bit.ly/lovehoney15</a> This link can be a little wonky and does not keep tracking cookies. If the discount does not show up in your cart (or disappears after you shop around on the site), access the site with that link again. Your items will still be in your cart &amp; the discount will appear)</li> <li>15% off everything at <a href="http://Lelo.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Lelo.com</a> with code SUNNY</li> <li>10% off everything (with minor restrictions) online from woman-owned, feminist, trans &amp; queer-friendly Early To Bed <a href="https://bit.ly/sunnyetb" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">http://bit.ly/sunnyetb</a> with code SUNNY</li> <li>10% off everything from Fun Factory using this link <a href="https://bit.ly/sunnyfunfactory" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">http://bit.ly/sunnyfunfactory</a> and the code SUNNY at checkout</li> <li>15% off most items from Stockroom <a href="https://bit.ly/sunnystockroom15" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://bit.ly/sunnystockroom15</a> with code SUNNY</li> </ul> _________ –Submit your BDSM &amp; sex advice questions by email to americansexpodcast@gmail.com –To support American Sex podcast, please visit <a href="https://www.patreon.com/americansex" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">http://patreon.com/americansex</a> (plus you’ll get all episodes early, secret episodes, bonus stories from guests, on-air shout-outs, stuff in the mail &amp; more!) –Get friendly with us on Twitter at <a href="https://twitter.com/AmericanSexPod" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">@AmericanSexPod</a> or visit <a href="https://sunnymegatron.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">sunnymegatron.com</a> or <a href="http://americansexpodcast.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">americansexpodcast.com</a> –Join our mailing list by visiting <a href="https://sunnymegatron.com/newsletter" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">http://sunnymegatron.com/newsletter</a> Sunny &amp; Ken, xo!

The BDSM Test w/ Midori & Joe Zarate-Sanderlin - Ep 192

Joe has discovered a new, more introverted way to be an activist within his business, therapy sessions, and teaching work. He finds that the more open he is about his identities and his experience, the more helpful he is to others. Listen as Joe talks about the gender journey he’s experienced in the past couple of years and how his personal experiences have expanded his leadership as a therapist and an educator.   Topics Discussed In This Episode:  Finding a new kind of introverted activism Self-expression through blue hair and manicures Navigating disclosure Expanding in every area of his work Allowing ideas for content and teaching to come to him Balancing teaching, therapy, and parenting How clients find him The importance of forming referral partnerships How he got into university teaching    Show notes at http://rebeltherapist.me/podcast/93

Joe has discovered a new, more introverted way to be an activist within his business, therapy sessions, and teaching work. He finds that the more open he is about his identities and his experience, the more helpful he is to others. Listen as Joe talks about the gender journey he’s experienced in the past couple of years and how his personal experiences have expanded his leadership as a therapist and an educator. Topics Discussed In This Episode: <ul> <li>Finding a new kind of introverted activism</li> <li>Self-expression through blue hair and manicures</li> <li>Navigating disclosure</li> <li>Expanding in every area of his work</li> <li>Allowing ideas for content and teaching to come to him</li> <li>Balancing teaching, therapy, and parenting</li> <li>How clients find him</li> <li>The importance of forming referral partnerships</li> <li>How he got into university teaching</li> </ul> Show notes at <a href="http://coachingwithannie.com/podcast" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">http://rebeltherapist.me/podcast</a>/93

Express Yourself With Joe Zarate-Sanderlin