Joe Burgo's guest appearances

Joe Burgo

The Francesca Luca Show

Calmversations

Wild and Precious Conversations

Gender: A Wider Lens Podcast

Katie Goodman

Donna Hicks

Alanna Shaikh

Lori Gottlieb

Gary Chapman

Neal Barnard

Wednesday Martin

Mark Goulston

Guy Winch

Anthony Weiner

Buck Angel

Julie Daniluk

Steve Olsher

Claire Shipman

Tara Mohr

OwlTail

Alasdair Gunn

Marcus Evans

Corinna Cohn

The second of three panels I moderated at  @Genspect 's "Bigger Picture" conference in Killarney, Ireland. Joe Burgo, Alasdair Gunn, Corinna Cohn, Marcus Evans and myself discuss how gender ideology is effecting boys and young men.  https://genspect.org  https://twitter.com/marcuse99903226 https://twitter.com/heterodorx https://twitter.com/jburgo55  Support this channel:  https://www.paypal.me/benjaminboyce https://cash.app/$benjaminaboyce https://www.buymeacoffee.com/benjaminaboyce   ---   Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/calmversations/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/calmversations/support

The second of three panels I moderated at <a href="https://studio.youtube.com/channel/UCnh6D3XXC0Qji6njBOvvxbA" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> @Genspect </a>'s "Bigger Picture" conference in Killarney, Ireland. Joe Burgo, Alasdair Gunn, Corinna Cohn, Marcus Evans and myself discuss how gender ideology is effecting boys and young men. <a href="https://genspect.org" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://genspect.org</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/marcuse99903226" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://twitter.com/marcuse99903226</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/heterodorx" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://twitter.com/heterodorx</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/jburgo55" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://twitter.com/jburgo55</a> Support this channel:  <a href="https://www.paypal.me/benjaminboyce" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.paypal.me/benjaminboyce</a> https://cash.app/$benjaminaboyce <a href="https://www.buymeacoffee.com/benjaminaboyce" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.buymeacoffee.com/benjaminaboyce</a> --- Send in a voice message: <a href="https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/calmversations/message" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/calmversations/message</a> Support this podcast: <a href="https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/calmversations/support" rel="payment nofollow" target="_blank">https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/calmversations/support</a>

s05e77 | "What About the Boys?" A Genspect Panel with Joe Burgo, Marcus Evans, Corinna Cohn, and Alasdair Gunn

In this episode, Stella &amp; Sasha talk with Joe Burgo and Alasdair Gunn about the Genspect’s new direction and the upcoming first-ever live event. As you will hear them discuss, the Genspect Conference, themed “The Bigger Picture,” will bring together experts from many fields holding a myriad of perspectives: eminent scientists, researchers, lawyers, doctors, psychologists, psychiatrists, psychotherapists, sociologists, educators, feminists, and some well-known detransitioners.Guest Joe Burgo is a clinical psychologist and psychoanalyst who’s been in practice for almost 40 years. He’s particularly interested in the concept of narcissism and shame. He’s also a really big part of the BeyondTrans project through Genspect, and the author of several books, including The Narcissist You Know: Defending Yourself Against Extreme Narcissists in an All-About-Me Age.Guest Alasdair Gunn was working in academia when he became interested in gender issues. After coming into contact with a group of parents of trans-identified boys, he wrote a series of Quillette articles on the topic under the pseudonym Angus Fox. As a gay man who tackled body dysmorphia in adolescence, Alasdair brings a unique understanding of issues related to teenage male development. His work in gender has focused mostly on design, marketing, research, and communications in support of Genspect. Recently diagnosed with a terminal illness, Alasdair has stepped back from day-to-day work and is keen to highlight the ways in which gender healthcare falls short of the normal standards of excellence we’ve come to expect from the medical industry.Stella, Sasha, Joe, and Alasdair explain how the Genspect conference is intentionally being conducted during the same week, and just down the street from the WPATH/EPATH conference. The goal is to provide attendees to both conferences exposure to human stories beyond the medical context of transition and challenge the evidence base for gender medicine.There’s so much enthusiasm about the speakers lined up to contribute to the event’s agenda. Together, Joe, Alasdair, Sasha &amp; Stella explore the roster of presenters and reflect that many of them are previous guests of Gender: A Wider Lens Podcast. They also announce plans for the first-ever Wider Lens live-stream event scheduled to take place from inside the conference.With so much important and valuable information relevant to so many aspects of gender transition (not just the medical component), the Genspect Conference is setting the stage for a really pivotal moment in time in pursuit of capturing gender from a wider lens, aka “The Bigger Picture.” This conversation is a charming preview of what attendees can expect from The Bigger Picture event, scheduled for late April.Links:More about Joe Burgo:http://www.josephburgo.com/Alasdair’s Substack:https://angusfox.substack.com/Attend/Stream Genspect Conference: The Bigger Picturehttps://genspect.org/events/Beyond WPATH Document (add your signature)https://beyondwpath.org/Eliza Mondegreen on WPATH:https://elizamondegreen.substack.com/p/so-i-went-to-wpathCynical Therapies: https://criticaltherapyantidote.org/new-book-2/What your Teen is Trying to Tell You, by Stella O’Malley: https://swiftpress.com/book/what-your-teen-is-trying-to-tell-you/ If you liked this episode, more episodes you might find interesting:“20 — Gender Dysphoria in Boys: Part 1”https://gender-a-wider-lens.captivate.fm/episode/20-gender-dysphoria-in-boys-part-1 “21 — Gender Dysphoria in Boys: Part 2 — A Conversation with Angus Fox”https://gender-a-wider-lens.captivate.fm/episode/21-gender-dysphoria-in-boys-part-2-a-conversation-with-angus-fox“73 — Shame, Narcissism, and the Transition Fantasy with Joe Burgo”https://gender-a-wider-lens.captivate.fm/episode/73-shame-narcissism-and-the-transition-fantasy-w-joe-burgo “94 — WPATH’s Bizarre 8th Standards of Care”https://gender-a-wider-lens.captivate.fm/episode/94-wpaths-bizarre-8th-standards-of-careGWL Genspect Conference Speakers Playlist (a compilation of previous Gender: A Wider Lens episodes featuring guests who are also speakers at the 2023 Genspect Conference)https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLngVCeAoK6vuWE4sNG_fi5nnz-d1xQEBiPlease visit http://www.widerlenspod.com to explore more content, access additional resources, or join our listener community.To learn more about our sponsors, visit:https://rethinkime.org/https://genspect.org/Extended NotesStella and Sasha introduce the many works of Joe and Alasdair.The Genspect Conference will be in the same area as the WPATH/EPATH Conference during the same week.WPATH has discredited itself to the point that a debate is badly needed. Now is the time to speak up.Sasha points out the importance of looking at gender through a wider lens.WPATH advocates for the affirmative care model.Helen Joyce will open the conference because she deserves her voice to be heard.The group highlights the scheduled conference participants and their qualifications.People’s response to the Genspect Conference has been extremely positive.Alasdair will have a debate about pronouns at the conference.During the conference, Alasdair and Joe will be discussing masculinity.Joe will present his view and clinical material on Autogynephilia and a joint presentation with Lisa Marchiano.There will also be a live stream for those who cannot attend.Presenters are welcome to bring and promote their books at the conference.Quotes:“There are a lot of layers to gender and that is what we are trying to get a bigger picture of.” — Stella [5:30]“Part of the problem has been that WPATH has been advocating for the affirmative care model which puts people like Stella and me out of business basically. That's what they want.” — Joe Burgo [17:01]“This is abnormal. This is not the way normal health care works. Every other field of medicine works with a collaboration of other fields, not this kind of fiefdom attitude.” — Alasdair [38:55]

In this episode, Stella &amp; Sasha talk with Joe Burgo and Alasdair Gunn about the Genspect’s new direction and the upcoming first-ever live event. As you will hear them discuss, the Genspect Conference, themed “The Bigger Picture,” will bring together experts from many fields holding a myriad of perspectives: eminent scientists, researchers, lawyers, doctors, psychologists, psychiatrists, psychotherapists, sociologists, educators, feminists, and some well-known detransitioners.Guest Joe Burgo is a clinical psychologist and psychoanalyst who’s been in practice for almost 40 years. He’s particularly interested in the concept of narcissism and shame. He’s also a really big part of the BeyondTrans project through Genspect, and the author of several books, including The Narcissist You Know: Defending Yourself Against Extreme Narcissists in an All-About-Me Age.Guest Alasdair Gunn was working in academia when he became interested in gender issues. After coming into contact with a group of parents of trans-identified boys, he wrote a series of Quillette articles on the topic under the pseudonym Angus Fox. As a gay man who tackled body dysmorphia in adolescence, Alasdair brings a unique understanding of issues related to teenage male development. His work in gender has focused mostly on design, marketing, research, and communications in support of Genspect. Recently diagnosed with a terminal illness, Alasdair has stepped back from day-to-day work and is keen to highlight the ways in which gender healthcare falls short of the normal standards of excellence we’ve come to expect from the medical industry.Stella, Sasha, Joe, and Alasdair explain how the Genspect conference is intentionally being conducted during the same week, and just down the street from the WPATH/EPATH conference. The goal is to provide attendees to both conferences exposure to human stories beyond the medical context of transition and challenge the evidence base for gender medicine.There’s so much enthusiasm about the speakers lined up to contribute to the event’s agenda. Together, Joe, Alasdair, Sasha &amp; Stella explore the roster of presenters and reflect that many of them are previous guests of Gender: A Wider Lens Podcast. They also announce plans for the first-ever Wider Lens live-stream event scheduled to take place from inside the conference.With so much important and valuable information relevant to so many aspects of gender transition (not just the medical component), the Genspect Conference is setting the stage for a really pivotal moment in time in pursuit of capturing gender from a wider lens, aka “The Bigger Picture.” This conversation is a charming preview of what attendees can expect from The Bigger Picture event, scheduled for late April.<h2>Links:</h2> More about Joe Burgo:<a href="http://www.josephburgo.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" target="_blank">http://www.josephburgo.com/</a> Alasdair’s Substack:<a href="https://angusfox.substack.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" target="_blank">https://angusfox.substack.com/</a> Attend/Stream Genspect Conference: The Bigger Picture<a href="https://genspect.org/events/" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" target="_blank">https://genspect.org/events/</a> Beyond WPATH Document (add your signature)<a href="https://beyondwpath.org/" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" target="_blank">https://beyondwpath.org/</a> Eliza Mondegreen on WPATH:<a href="https://elizamondegreen.substack.com/p/so-i-went-to-wpath" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" target="_blank">https://elizamondegreen.substack.com/p/so-i-went-to-wpath</a> Cynical Therapies: <a href="https://criticaltherapyantidote.org/new-book-2/" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" target="_blank">https://criticaltherapyantidote.org/new-book-2/</a> What your Teen is Trying to Tell You, by Stella O’Malley: <a href="https://swiftpress.com/book/what-your-teen-is-trying-to-tell-you/" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" target="_blank">https://swiftpress.com/book/what-your-teen-is-trying-to-tell-you/</a> If you liked this episode, more episodes you might find interesting:“20 — Gender Dysphoria in Boys: Part 1”<a href="https://gender-a-wider-lens.captivate.fm/episode/20-gender-dysphoria-in-boys-part-1" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" target="_blank">https://gender-a-wider-lens.captivate.fm/episode/20-gender-dysphoria-in-boys-part-1</a> “21 — Gender Dysphoria in Boys: Part 2 — A Conversation with Angus Fox”<a href="https://gender-a-wider-lens.captivate.fm/episode/21-gender-dysphoria-in-boys-part-2-a-conversation-with-angus-fox" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" target="_blank">https://gender-a-wider-lens.captivate.fm/episode/21-gender-dysphoria-in-boys-part-2-a-conversation-with-angus-fox</a> “73 — Shame, Narcissism, and the Transition Fantasy with Joe Burgo”<a href="https://gender-a-wider-lens.captivate.fm/episode/73-shame-narcissism-and-the-transition-fantasy-w-joe-burgo" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" target="_blank">https://gender-a-wider-lens.captivate.fm/episode/73-shame-narcissism-and-the-transition-fantasy-w-joe-burgo</a> “94 — WPATH’s Bizarre 8th Standards of Care”<a href="https://gender-a-wider-lens.captivate.fm/episode/94-wpaths-bizarre-8th-standards-of-care" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" target="_blank">https://gender-a-wider-lens.captivate.fm/episode/94-wpaths-bizarre-8th-standards-of-care</a> GWL Genspect Conference Speakers Playlist (a compilation of previous Gender: A Wider Lens episodes featuring guests who are also speakers at the 2023 Genspect Conference)<a href="https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLngVCeAoK6vuWE4sNG_fi5nnz-d1xQEBi" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLngVCeAoK6vuWE4sNG_fi5nnz-d1xQEBi</a> Please visit <a href="http://www.widerlenspod.com" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" target="_blank">http://www.widerlenspod.com</a> to explore more content, access additional resources, or join our listener community. To learn more about our sponsors, visit:<a href="https://rethinkime.org/" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" target="_blank">https://rethinkime.org/</a><a href="https://genspect.org/" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" target="_blank">https://genspect.org/</a> Extended Notes<ul><li>Stella and Sasha introduce the many works of Joe and Alasdair.</li><li>The Genspect Conference will be in the same area as the WPATH/EPATH Conference during the same week.</li><li>WPATH has discredited itself to the point that a debate is badly needed. Now is the time to speak up.</li><li>Sasha points out the importance of looking at gender through a wider lens.</li><li>WPATH advocates for the affirmative care model.</li><li>Helen Joyce will open the conference because she deserves her voice to be heard.</li><li>The group highlights the scheduled conference participants and their qualifications.</li><li>People’s response to the Genspect Conference has been extremely positive.</li><li>Alasdair will have a debate about pronouns at the conference.</li><li>During the conference, Alasdair and Joe will be discussing masculinity.</li><li>Joe will present his view and clinical material on Autogynephilia and a joint presentation with Lisa Marchiano.</li><li>There will also be a live stream for those who cannot attend.</li><li>Presenters are welcome to bring and promote their books at the conference.</li></ul> Quotes: “There are a lot of layers to gender and that is what we are trying to get a bigger picture of.” — Stella [5:30] “Part of the problem has been that WPATH has been advocating for the affirmative care model which puts people like Stella and me out of business basically. That's what they want.” — Joe Burgo [17:01] “This is abnormal. This is not the way normal health care works. Every other field of medicine works with a collaboration of other fields, not this kind of fiefdom attitude.” — Alasdair [38:55]

108 — Genspect Vision: The Bigger Picture with Joe Burgo & Alasdair Gunn

Learn more about Genspect's Killarney conference at: https://genspect1.telltix.com/events/genspect1/845845/r/genspect-banner More Alasdair: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLRdayXEOwuMGYeRsuQMVCVHQ_0DQ51Gmr More Burgo: http://www.josephburgo.com Support this channel: https://www.paypal.me/benjaminboyce https://cash.app/$benjaminaboyce https://www.buymeacoffee.com/benjaminaboyce--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/calmversations/messageSupport this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/calmversations/support

Learn more about Genspect's Killarney conference at: <a href="https://genspect1.telltix.com/events/genspect1/845845/r/genspect-banner" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://genspect1.telltix.com/events/genspect1/845845/r/genspect-banner</a> More Alasdair: <a href="https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLRdayXEOwuMGYeRsuQMVCVHQ_0DQ51Gmr" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLRdayXEOwuMGYeRsuQMVCVHQ_0DQ51Gmr</a> More Burgo: <a href="http://www.josephburgo.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">http://www.josephburgo.com</a> Support this channel: <a href="https://www.paypal.me/benjaminboyce" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.paypal.me/benjaminboyce</a> https://cash.app/$benjaminaboyce <a href="https://www.buymeacoffee.com/benjaminaboyce" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.buymeacoffee.com/benjaminaboyce</a>--- Send in a voice message: <a href="https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/calmversations/message" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/calmversations/message</a> Support this podcast: <a href="https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/calmversations/support" rel="payment nofollow" target="_blank">https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/calmversations/support</a>

s05e58 | Genspect's "The Bigger Picture" Conference, with Joe Burgo & Alasdair Gunn

Joe Burgo is a clinical psychologist and psychoanalyst who’s been in practice for almost 40 years. He also writes books for a popular audience mostly focused on shame and narcissism. In this episode Joe explains how a sense of shame can be a root cause of gender dysphoria and how gender transition can be idealized as a “cure” for all kinds of shame – gay shame, outsider shame, survivor of sexual abuse shame, feeling weird or different shame, and so on. The impact of the medical model on society is also lifted up as Joe describes how his depth-approach to psychological pain is often dismissed in a world seeking a solution for every problem and a pill for every ill.  Resources Joe’s blog: http://www.afterpsychotherapy.com/ Joe’s books:  Why Do I Do That? Psychological Defense Mechanisms and the Hidden Ways They Shape Our Lives http://www.amazon.com/Why-Do-That-Psychological-Mechanisms/dp/0988443120 The Narcissist You Know: Defending Yourself Against Extreme Narcissists in an All-About-Me World http://www.amazon.com/Narcissist-You-Know-Narcissists-All-About-Me/dp/14767… Building Self-Esteem: How Learning from Shame Helps Us to Grow https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0997592028/ref=as_li_qf_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF… 

Joe Burgo is a clinical psychologist and psychoanalyst who’s been in practice for almost 40 years. He also writes books for a popular audience mostly focused on shame and narcissism. In this episode Joe explains how a sense of shame can be a root cause of gender dysphoria and how gender transition can be idealized as a “cure” for all kinds of shame – gay shame, outsider shame, survivor of sexual abuse shame, feeling weird or different shame, and so on. The impact of the medical model on society is also lifted up as Joe describes how his depth-approach to psychological pain is often dismissed in a world seeking a solution for every problem and a pill for every ill.  Resources Joe’s blog: <a href="http://www.afterpsychotherapy.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" target="_blank">http://www.afterpsychotherapy.com/</a> Joe’s books:  <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Why-Do-That-Psychological-Mechanisms/dp/0988443120" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" target="_blank">Why Do I Do That? Psychological Defense Mechanisms and the Hidden Ways They Shape Our Lives</a> <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Why-Do-That-Psychological-Mechanisms/dp/0988443120" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" target="_blank">http://www.amazon.com/Why-Do-That-Psychological-Mechanisms/dp/0988443120</a> <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Narcissist-You-Know-Narcissists-All-About-Me/dp/1476785686/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&amp;qid=1431714325&amp;sr=8-1&amp;keywords=narcissist+you+know" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" target="_blank">The Narcissist You Know: Defending Yourself Against Extreme Narcissists in an All-About-Me World</a> <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Narcissist-You-Know-Narcissists-All-About-Me/dp/1476785686/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&amp;qid=1431714325&amp;sr=8-1&amp;keywords=narcissist+you+know" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" target="_blank">http://www.amazon.com/Narcissist-You-Know-Narcissists-All-About-Me/dp/14767…</a> <a href="https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0997592028/ref=as_li_qf_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&amp;tag=afterpsycho-20&amp;creative=9325&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;creativeASIN=0997592028&amp;linkId=3be03c62bc052d15db690dcf58331a27" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" target="_blank">Building Self-Esteem: How Learning from Shame Helps Us to Grow</a> <a href="https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0997592028/ref=as_li_qf_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&amp;tag=afterpsycho-20&amp;creative=9325&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;creativeASIN=0997592028&amp;linkId=3be03c62bc052d15db690dcf58331a27" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0997592028/ref=as_li_qf_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF…</a>

73 - Shame, Narcissism, and the Transition Fantasy w/ Joe Burgo

Cultivating Humility. Huge growth potential if you can get comfortable being uncomfortable. (And I would add, let’s make the uncomfortable place as welcoming and inviting as possible.)Joe Burgo’s website announced this course at the bottom of a blog post (as I recall). Marla Estes’ site was a humble outreach; I joined the class and am now an advocate for cultivating humility.In fact, I chose to open 2022 with Cultivating Humility — it is what I want to see more of in my life, in my family, in my community.{My introduction and “outro” are both as short as possible because I needed to find a quiet corner of my home rather than recording from my podcast fort and the sound quality is not great - be forewarned. The quality of the actual conversation is good enough :) }We dive in at 2:09 with Joe Burgo’s story of humility — and we’re off from there. At 6:14, Craig Markin’s book on rethinking narcissism is mentioned and the idea of passing shame from one person to another like a hot potato.At 7:52 Marla introduces the idea of being ashamed of being ashamed and that flows into the idea of levels of shame:embarrassmenthumiliationshameand how to normalize it…Marla shares a great story at 9:03 that helps with how to process shame and has been core for me at times over this fall where I do need to process shame.at 11:19, Joe introduces the idea that sometimes there is a good reason why you might feel ashamed and that it’s an opportunity to grow.At 13:20, Joe processes shame in the moment — what a lovely offering that is. I remember while recording really feeling more deeply connected to both of them and realizing how important this stuff really is.What else is there in this life if there isn’t relationship — and can you have relationship if you’re not willing to get a little uncomfortable once in awhile?At 18:36, Joe introduces Marla’s concept of having a working hypothesis and the difference between not having an opinion and being dissociative.At 23:13 … what about when you honestly just don’t know enough to have an opinion, a seat at the table?At 26:53, Marla gives us three ways to building a bridge to change. To move from that paralyzing place of shame to a place where you take your seat at the table.At 30:56 we open up the conversation about how humility is a weird word sometimes in our culture…uncomfortable, with connotations that aren’t super positive.34:07 — the difference between healthy pride, arrogance and narcissism is introduced. And so, at 36:52, Joe aptly introduces the idea of confidence into this mix. And we flow into the idea of confident humility Confident humility is my personal goal for 2022. Expect lots of stumpling around toward this goal :) Join me?At 39:05, Marla introduces the acronym we use in class “WAIT” Why Am I Talking?At 41:35 Joe asks about our shame, “What is it telling you?” &lt;= Great Question.At 44:53, Marla introduces the idea of being a beacon, “Like, I want what she’s having” :)At 47:31, Marla has a great line in our discussion about how sometimes being curious can sound really really pretentious…as in “I’m really curious about how you could be such an idiot.” :)Which leads me to actually process some pretty deep shame, live, at 48:00 &lt;= which I decided to leave in because I don’t think I am alone in it.And — fin.Notes:Www.afterpsychotherapy.com — Joe Burgo’s personal website On Psychology Today — Joe’s column about Shame on Psychology Today @jburgo55 on Twitter – Joe on TwitterBuilding Bridgers — Marla Estes’ website and projectUnderbelly Project — Home to Wild + Precious conversations, my Monday Morning newsletter, blog posts, courses, etc. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit underbelly.substack.com

Cultivating Humility. Huge growth potential if you can get comfortable being uncomfortable. (And I would add, let’s make the uncomfortable place as welcoming and inviting as possible.) Joe Burgo’s website announced this course at the bottom of a blog post (as I recall). Marla Estes’ site was a humble outreach; I joined the class and am now an advocate for cultivating humility. In fact, I chose to open 2022 with Cultivating Humility — it is what I want to see more of in my life, in my family, in my community. {My introduction and “outro” are both as short as possible because I needed to find a quiet corner of my home rather than recording from my podcast fort and the sound quality is not great - be forewarned. The quality of the actual conversation is good enough :) } We dive in at 2:09 with Joe Burgo’s story of humility — and we’re off from there. At 6:14, Craig Markin’s book on rethinking narcissism is mentioned and the idea of passing shame from one person to another like a hot potato. At 7:52 Marla introduces the idea of being ashamed of being ashamed and that flows into the idea of levels of shame: embarrassment humiliation shame and how to normalize it…Marla shares a great story at 9:03 that helps with how to process shame and has been core for me at times over this fall where I do need to process shame. at 11:19, Joe introduces the idea that sometimes there is a good reason why you might feel ashamed and that it’s an opportunity to grow. At 13:20, Joe processes shame in the moment — what a lovely offering that is. I remember while recording really feeling more deeply connected to both of them and realizing how important this stuff really is. What else is there in this life if there isn’t relationship — and can you have relationship if you’re not willing to get a little uncomfortable once in awhile? At 18:36, Joe introduces Marla’s concept of having a working hypothesis and the difference between not having an opinion and being dissociative. At 23:13 … what about when you honestly just don’t know enough to have an opinion, a seat at the table? At 26:53, Marla gives us three ways to building a bridge to change. To move from that paralyzing place of shame to a place where you take your seat at the table. At 30:56 we open up the conversation about how humility is a weird word sometimes in our culture…uncomfortable, with connotations that aren’t super positive. 34:07 — the difference between healthy pride, arrogance and narcissism is introduced. And so, at 36:52, Joe aptly introduces the idea of confidence into this mix. And we flow into the idea of confident humility Confident humility is my personal goal for 2022. Expect lots of stumpling around toward this goal :) Join me? At 39:05, Marla introduces the acronym we use in class “WAIT” Why Am I Talking? At 41:35 Joe asks about our shame, “What is it telling you?” &lt;= Great Question. At 44:53, Marla introduces the idea of being a beacon, “Like, I want what she’s having” :) At 47:31, Marla has a great line in our discussion about how sometimes being curious can sound really really pretentious…as in “I’m really curious about how you could be such an idiot.” :) Which leads me to actually process some pretty deep shame, live, at 48:00 &lt;= which I decided to leave in because I don’t think I am alone in it. And — fin. Notes: <a href="http://Www.afterpsychotherapy.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Www.afterpsychotherapy.com</a> — Joe Burgo’s personal website <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/shame" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> On Psychology Today</a> — Joe’s column about Shame on Psychology Today @jburgo55 on Twitter – Joe on Twitter <a href="https://www.buildingbridgers.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Building Bridgers</a> — Marla Estes’ website and project <a href="https://underbel.li" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Underbelly Project</a> — Home to Wild + Precious conversations, my Monday Morning newsletter, blog posts, courses, etc. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit <a href="https://underbelly.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&amp;utm_campaign=CTA_1" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">underbelly.substack.com</a>

Marla Estes and Joe Burgo Talk About Humility

It seems the former Congressman just can't stop sabotaging his own career. Here on this week's show is Dr. Joe Burgo to help us figure out if there is in fact, a pathology behind the disgraced politician's self-destructive behavior.