Debra L. Kaplan's guest appearances

Debra L. Kaplan

Sex, Love, and Addiction

OwlTail

After a successful career on Wall Street, where issues regarding sex, money, and power are legendary, Debra L. Kaplan merged her fascination with narcissism, sex, power, and control with her studies in psychology. Debra’s book, For Love and Money, became the inspiration for her groundbreaking clinical work. In part 2 of this episode, Debra continues her discussion around infidelity and money, how to heal after a financial betrayal, and what compromise looks like.    TAKEAWAYS: [2:00] The way a couple handles money is how they handle other issues in their relationship.  [4:35] What should couples do when they’re in crisis and are trying to regain control of their finances?  [5:35] Sit down and come up with a game plan on what you both want out of this relationship and its future [6:45] How can couples begin to work towards healing?  [9:15] Dr. Rob shares a personal story around the challenge between recovery and money.  [11:40] As an addict through and through, and being in recovery, you have to learn how to not be selfish.  [18:45] What’s Debra’s new book about?  [21:15] Not everyone can afford therapy, but Debra created this book for couples who need the help.    RESOURCES: Sex and Relationship Healing @RobWeissMSW  Sex Addiction 101  Seeking Integrity  Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men   Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency Out of the Doghouse by Robert Weiss Debrakaplancounseling.com Financialtherapyassociation.org   QUOTES:   “If there’s been infidelity, secret keeping, and lies around money, absolutely seek help.”   “I had to say no to something I wanted and every time I saw that [dream] car in the street, I feel bad, but I did the right thing.”   “You don’t have to be talking about money, you can be talking about ‘coupleship’ like raising your kids, but money is the biggest one.”  

After a successful career on Wall Street, where issues regarding sex, money, and power are legendary, Debra L. Kaplan merged her fascination with narcissism, sex, power, and control with her studies in psychology. Debra’s book, For Love and Money, became the inspiration for her groundbreaking clinical work. In part 2 of this episode, Debra continues her discussion around infidelity and money, how to heal after a financial betrayal, and what compromise looks like.  TAKEAWAYS: [2:00] The way a couple handles money is how they handle other issues in their relationship.  [4:35] What should couples do when they’re in crisis and are trying to regain control of their finances?  [5:35] Sit down and come up with a game plan on what you both want out of this relationship and its future [6:45] How can couples begin to work towards healing?  [9:15] Dr. Rob shares a personal story around the challenge between recovery and money.  [11:40] As an addict through and through, and being in recovery, you have to learn how to not be selfish.  [18:45] What’s Debra’s new book about?  [21:15] Not everyone can afford therapy, but Debra created this book for couples who need the help.  RESOURCES: <a href="https://sexandrelationshiphealing.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Sex and Relationship Healing</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/robweissmsw" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">@RobWeissMSW</a> <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Sex-Addiction-101-Basic-Healing/dp/0757318436" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> Sex Addiction 101 </a> <a href="https://seekingintegrity.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Seeking Integrity</a> <a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00BAEK96A/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&amp;btkr=1" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men </a> <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Prodependence-Moving-Codependency-Robert-Weiss/dp/075732035X" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency</a> Out of the Doghouse by Robert Weiss <a href="https://debrakaplancounseling.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Debrakaplancounseling.com</a> <a href="https://financialtherapyassociation.org/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Financialtherapyassociation.org</a> QUOTES: <ul> <li> “If there’s been infidelity, secret keeping, and lies around money, absolutely seek help.” </li> <li> “I had to say no to something I wanted and every time I saw that [dream] car in the street, I feel bad, but I did the right thing.” </li> <li> “You don’t have to be talking about money, you can be talking about ‘coupleship’ like raising your kids, but money is the biggest one.” </li> </ul>

Part 2: Financial Infidelity and Career Suicide: Can You Recover? with Debra L. Kaplan

After a successful career on Wall Street, where issues regarding sex, money, and power are legendary, Debra L. Kaplan merged her fascination with narcissism, sex, power, and control with her studies in psychology. Debra’s book, For Love and Money, inspired her groundbreaking clinical work. In this episode, Debra talks about the connection between money and our trauma, what the conversations around money mean, and how money is the biggest reason for our relationship's demise.   TAKEAWAYS: [2:00] A little bit about Debra. [4:10] We argue about money, but underneath all of that we argue about our trauma.  [9:00] All couples argue about money.  [14:30] Money carries the greatest impact on the health and demise of a relationship.  [15:00] Do men and women see money/treat money differently?  [18:20] Addicts take power without permission, which means they use the family’s money through whatever means necessary. [22:40] What is financial infidelity?  [28:50] How should you approach a conversation around money when an addict has betrayed your trust? [31:10] The addict destroys their finances, but can also destroy their career reputation and earning potential. [33:00] After a betrayal, it’s important spouses get the help and support, and education they need to move forward.  [35:50] How can couples have a unified relationship with their money?    RESOURCES: Sex and Relationship Healing @RobWeissMSW  Sex Addiction 101  Seeking Integrity  Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men   Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency Out of the Doghouse by Robert Weiss Sexualhealth-addiction.com When He’s Married to Mom by Dr. Ken M. Adams A Light in the Dark: The Hidden Legacy of Adult Children of Sex Addicts by Ken M. Adams   QUOTES:   “Money is the number one factor in divorce and in relational demise.”   “Financial infidelity is I’m not going to tell you, I’m going to do what I want to do, and you’re not going to know. It’s the same as emotional and sexual infidelity.”   “When there’s betrayal and infidelity, get informed. Hire professionals who will help you. Hire an accountant.”   “Even though we argue about money, there is a path out.”   

After a successful career on Wall Street, where issues regarding sex, money, and power are legendary, Debra L. Kaplan merged her fascination with narcissism, sex, power, and control with her studies in psychology. Debra’s book, For Love and Money, inspired her groundbreaking clinical work. In this episode, Debra talks about the connection between money and our trauma, what the conversations around money mean, and how money is the biggest reason for our relationship's demise. TAKEAWAYS: [2:00] A little bit about Debra. [4:10] We argue about money, but underneath all of that we argue about our trauma.  [9:00] All couples argue about money.  [14:30] Money carries the greatest impact on the health and demise of a relationship.  [15:00] Do men and women see money/treat money differently?  [18:20] Addicts take power without permission, which means they use the family’s money through whatever means necessary. [22:40] What is financial infidelity?  [28:50] How should you approach a conversation around money when an addict has betrayed your trust? [31:10] The addict destroys their finances, but can also destroy their career reputation and earning potential. [33:00] After a betrayal, it’s important spouses get the help and support, and education they need to move forward.  [35:50] How can couples have a unified relationship with their money?  RESOURCES: <a href="https://sexandrelationshiphealing.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Sex and Relationship Healing</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/robweissmsw" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">@RobWeissMSW</a> <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Sex-Addiction-101-Basic-Healing/dp/0757318436" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> Sex Addiction 101 </a> <a href="https://seekingintegrity.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Seeking Integrity</a> <a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00BAEK96A/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&amp;btkr=1" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men </a> <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Prodependence-Moving-Codependency-Robert-Weiss/dp/075732035X" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency</a> Out of the Doghouse by Robert Weiss <a href="https://www.sexualhealth-addiction.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Sexualhealth-addiction.com</a> <a href="https://www.sexualhealth-addiction.com/books/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">When He’s Married to Mom by Dr. Ken M. Adams</a> <a href="https://www.sexualhealth-addiction.com/books/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">A Light in the Dark: The Hidden Legacy of Adult Children of Sex Addicts by Ken M. Adams</a> QUOTES: <ul> <li> “Money is the number one factor in divorce and in relational demise.” </li> <li> “Financial infidelity is I’m not going to tell you, I’m going to do what I want to do, and you’re not going to know. It’s the same as emotional and sexual infidelity.” </li> <li> “When there’s betrayal and infidelity, get informed. Hire professionals who will help you. Hire an accountant.” </li> <li> “Even though we argue about money, there is a path out.”  </li> </ul>