Gary Seidler's guest appearances

Gary Seidler

Sex, Love, and Addiction

OwlTail

Dr. Rob speaks with Alcohol Counselor Gary Seidler about the long-term effects children experience when living in an alcoholic home. Gary and Dr. Rob talks about trauma, the importance of storytelling and the ability to vocalize some of your unique experiences with addiction, and they offer clarification on what is considered a true addiction in this week’s episode.    TAKEAWAYS: [2:45] At the root of every addiction, there is some form of trauma.  [4:25] What is the difference between big T and little T trauma?  [7:30] More and more people are talking about the traumas they grew up with.  [9:40] How do you know if you have an addiction? Isn’t technically everything an addiction? [14:00] Children of alcoholics are completely focused on the other person.  [14:45] Gary is currently writing a book for adult children of sex addicts. What are some of the similarities/differences Gary sees among this group?  [17:20] Adult children of sex addicts often carry a lot of shame about their own sexual behavior and sexuality.  [19:30] These adult children have a very unique lens of extremes. Gary expands on what this means.  [22:10] How do these adult children deal with intimacy?  [23:30] With the internet, you’re just one click away from seeing whatever sexual content you want. [26:45] Unfortunately, young children are learning about sex from porn.   [31:05] Are you sure you don’t need help? Remember that denial is the enemy.  [33:30] Sex addiction feels so personal to the family even though it’s not the spouse or children’s fault.  [36:05] Your internal shame can slowly go away by talking about it in a support group.    RESOURCES: Sex and Relationship Healing @RobWeissMSW  Sex Addiction 101  Seeking Integrity  Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men   Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency Out of the Doghouse by Robert Weiss Gary on LinkedIn   QUOTES:   “When our family [appears] perfect or you don’t talk about it, we don’t learn.”   “Nobody comes to treatment to grow personally. People come in because they’re in crisis.”   “We adapt to situations that are intolerable when we love somebody.”  

Dr. Rob speaks with Alcohol Counselor Gary Seidler about the long-term effects children experience when living in an alcoholic home. Gary and Dr. Rob talks about trauma, the importance of storytelling and the ability to vocalize some of your unique experiences with addiction, and they offer clarification on what is considered a true addiction in this week’s episode.  TAKEAWAYS: [2:45] At the root of every addiction, there is some form of trauma.  [4:25] What is the difference between big T and little T trauma?  [7:30] More and more people are talking about the traumas they grew up with.  [9:40] How do you know if you have an addiction? Isn’t technically everything an addiction? [14:00] Children of alcoholics are completely focused on the other person.  [14:45] Gary is currently writing a book for adult children of sex addicts. What are some of the similarities/differences Gary sees among this group?  [17:20] Adult children of sex addicts often carry a lot of shame about their own sexual behavior and sexuality.  [19:30] These adult children have a very unique lens of extremes. Gary expands on what this means.  [22:10] How do these adult children deal with intimacy?  [23:30] With the internet, you’re just one click away from seeing whatever sexual content you want. [26:45] Unfortunately, young children are learning about sex from porn.   [31:05] Are you sure you don’t need help? Remember that denial is the enemy.  [33:30] Sex addiction feels so personal to the family even though it’s not the spouse or children’s fault.  [36:05] Your internal shame can slowly go away by talking about it in a support group.  RESOURCES: <a href="https://sexandrelationshiphealing.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Sex and Relationship Healing</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/robweissmsw" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">@RobWeissMSW</a> <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Sex-Addiction-101-Basic-Healing/dp/0757318436" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> Sex Addiction 101 </a> <a href="https://seekingintegrity.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Seeking Integrity</a> <a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00BAEK96A/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&amp;btkr=1" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men </a> <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Prodependence-Moving-Codependency-Robert-Weiss/dp/075732035X" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency</a> Out of the Doghouse by Robert Weiss <a href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/gary-seidler-2b249372/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Gary on LinkedIn</a> QUOTES: <ul> <li> “When our family [appears] perfect or you don’t talk about it, we don’t learn.” </li> <li> “Nobody comes to treatment to grow personally. People come in because they’re in crisis.” </li> <li> “We adapt to situations that are intolerable when we love somebody.” </li> </ul>

Part 2: Support Groups for Adult Children of Alcoholics with Gary Seidler

Dr. Rob speaks with Alcohol Counselor Gary Seidler about the long-term effects children experience when living in an alcoholic home. What happens to these children when they become older? Should children know about their parent’s substance abuse and sex addiction issues? And what should adult children be aware of now that they’re no longer in an alcoholic home? All these questions and more are answered on this week’s podcast.    TAKEAWAYS: [3:55] A little bit about Gary and his work in the mental health field.  [5:55] Why did Gary pursue this work with adult children of alcoholics?  [12:00] What are the symptoms of these adult children who grew up around or in alcoholic homes?  [16:30] Why was there such a need for young adults of alcoholics to have a rooms program?  [21:10] Addiction is a family issue. No one is truly suffering alone.  [22:20] Gary shares some of the people he admires over the years that have done great things in this field.  [24:30] In the early days of these adult children of alcoholic conferences, it was the first time some of these people could voice their pain and hurt with others who also understood.  [25:20] Addiction is passed on generationally. It doesn’t just stop at the addict. [30:10] Remember, going into rehab is only the beginning of your rehab journey.  [31:25] Gary shares his own personal experience with addiction and recovery.  [37:25] What does recovery mean to Gary?   RESOURCES: Sex and Relationship Healing @RobWeissMSW  Sex Addiction 101  Seeking Integrity  Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men   Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency Out of the Doghouse by Robert Weiss Gary on LinkedIn   QUOTES:   “John Bradshaw brought to the public consciousness the idea the dysfunction is not just in the addict, it spreads to the entire family.”   “Addiction is really a family affair.”   “For every addict, there are 3, 4, 5 people who are deeply affected.”  

Dr. Rob speaks with Alcohol Counselor Gary Seidler about the long-term effects children experience when living in an alcoholic home. What happens to these children when they become older? Should children know about their parent’s substance abuse and sex addiction issues? And what should adult children be aware of now that they’re no longer in an alcoholic home? All these questions and more are answered on this week’s podcast.  TAKEAWAYS: [3:55] A little bit about Gary and his work in the mental health field.  [5:55] Why did Gary pursue this work with adult children of alcoholics?  [12:00] What are the symptoms of these adult children who grew up around or in alcoholic homes?  [16:30] Why was there such a need for young adults of alcoholics to have a rooms program?  [21:10] Addiction is a family issue. No one is truly suffering alone.  [22:20] Gary shares some of the people he admires over the years that have done great things in this field.  [24:30] In the early days of these adult children of alcoholic conferences, it was the first time some of these people could voice their pain and hurt with others who also understood.  [25:20] Addiction is passed on generationally. It doesn’t just stop at the addict. [30:10] Remember, going into rehab is only the beginning of your rehab journey.  [31:25] Gary shares his own personal experience with addiction and recovery.  [37:25] What does recovery mean to Gary? RESOURCES: <a href="https://sexandrelationshiphealing.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Sex and Relationship Healing</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/robweissmsw" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">@RobWeissMSW</a> <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Sex-Addiction-101-Basic-Healing/dp/0757318436" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> Sex Addiction 101 </a> <a href="https://seekingintegrity.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Seeking Integrity</a> <a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00BAEK96A/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&amp;btkr=1" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men </a> <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Prodependence-Moving-Codependency-Robert-Weiss/dp/075732035X" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency</a> Out of the Doghouse by Robert Weiss <a href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/gary-seidler-2b249372/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Gary on LinkedIn</a> QUOTES: <ul> <li> “John Bradshaw brought to the public consciousness the idea the dysfunction is not just in the addict, it spreads to the entire family.” </li> <li> “Addiction is really a family affair.” </li> <li> “For every addict, there are 3, 4, 5 people who are deeply affected.” </li> </ul>