Pamela Mahoney Tsigdinos's guest appearances

Pamela Mahoney Tsigdinos

Childless not by Choice

Venus Rising

Julie Bindel

Theresa Morris

Wesley J. Smith

Sarah Roberts

Libby Emmons

Gail Pascoe

Dave Jackson

Diane Tober

Engel Jones

Kelly Wilson

Valerie Landis

Reshell Smith

Kate Kaufmann

Christy Jordan

Matt Doran

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You will not want to miss this week’s episode of Venus Rising, as Kallie sits down with award winning author and writer Pamela Mahoney Tsigdinos for a frank discussion on a painful topic: infertility. Pamela’s book  Silent Sorority, became the first account of reconciling infertility that was not written by a mother. With raw honesty Pamela drew from her experience to explore the stigma associated with fertility issues and the complex effects of living involuntarily childless.Through her research and writing, Pamela was introduced to a vibrant community of IVF survivors. Her followup ebook, Finally Heard, gives voice to a large but seldom acknowledged population of women reconciling the trauma of failed fertility treatments. Her writing raises provocative, often uncomfortable questions usually reserved for late night reflection or anonymous blogging.  Pamela has authored many other publications and you can view hew work in a variety of media outlets including Marie Claire, Huffington Post, TIME, Redbook, and Fertility and Sterility. Pamela was the co-founder of ReproTechTruths.org, a grassroots initiative to provide a counter-programming platform for women to share the long-lasting impacts of failed IVF. She was named a Top 10 Health blogger by Time Inc.’s Health Magazine in July 2015. To date, Pamela continues to write and serve on several cross-discipline working groups monitoring assisted reproductive technologies. We are thrilled to have her joining us today on Venus Rising.

You will not want to miss this week’s episode of Venus Rising, as Kallie sits down with award winning author and writer Pamela Mahoney Tsigdinos for a frank discussion on a painful topic: infertility. Pamela’s book Silent Sorority, became the first account of reconciling infertility that was not written by a mother. With raw honesty Pamela drew from her experience to explore the stigma associated with fertility issues and the complex effects of living involuntarily childless. Through her research and writing, Pamela was introduced to a vibrant community of IVF survivors. Her followup ebook, Finally Heard, gives voice to a large but seldom acknowledged population of women reconciling the trauma of failed fertility treatments. Her writing raises provocative, often uncomfortable questions usually reserved for late night reflection or anonymous blogging. Pamela has authored many other publications and you can view hew work in a variety of media outlets including Marie Claire, Huffington Post, TIME, Redbook, and Fertility and Sterility. Pamela was the co-founder of <a href="http://ReproTechTruths.org" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">ReproTechTruths.org</a>, a grassroots initiative to provide a counter-programming platform for women to share the long-lasting impacts of failed IVF. She was named a Top 10 Health blogger by Time Inc.’s Health Magazine in July 2015. To date, Pamela continues to write and serve on several cross-discipline working groups monitoring assisted reproductive technologies. We are thrilled to have her joining us today on Venus Rising.

Episode 29: Podcast #029: Pamela Mahoney Tsigdinos 

Hello everyone! Welcome back to Childless not by Choice, where my mission is to recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.  Civilla Morgan here. I am spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life, although we could not, did not, have the children we so wanted. Welcome to episode 105!  •Patreon Contributors: (Patreon contributors are those who have taken an interest in my platform whether they fit the childless not by choice demographic or not. They have decided to contribute a certain dollar amount on a regular basis to help fund my dream of creating awareness and conversation for the childless not by choice community globally. Click the Patreon link for details and to become a Patron!)  https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice  Jordan Morgan Ivy Calhoun  Questions or comments? Contact me at: Email: Info@civillamorgan.com                                               Or Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.    Bio/Intro:   Pamela Mahoney Tsigdinos (Sig- DIN - us) is an author, blogger and women's health advocate. She emerged as a reluctant spokeswoman in 2008 after a health reporter from The New York Times asked if she’d be willing to openly discuss her infertility experience. Pamela discussed the stubborn persistence of the infertility condition and the lack of a cultural framework to process the losses associated with being childless not by choice. The New York Times feature story that resulted produced astonishment and relief that someone candidly addressed the trauma of failed IVF and legacy of infertility.  Soon thereafter she wrote what became an award-winning book called Silent Sorority. It became the first memoir on infertility not authored by a mother, Pamela's writing explores the complicated, disenfranchised grief and identity issues that accompany involuntary childlessness. Now more than a decade outside of the grief she once felt so viscerally, she educates and writes about the false promises and limitations of reproductive medicine and the personal and social impacts that accompany failed IVF.  She is the co-founder of the grassroots initiative ReproTechTruths.org.  When she’s not researching and writing she enjoys discussing history, Indie films, documentaries, politics, current events and literature with extended family and friends.  Questions:  In one of your articles, I read that childless not by choice women quote ‘have more time to confront our feelings than the mother who is busy raising or trying to have kids.’ That statement made me a little nervous as I’ve always believed that when we have too much time to think we can go to some dark or negative places, and sometimes that is good, as going to those places can help a healthier mind process and bring thoughts back to a good place resulting hopefully in a positive outcome of our processing. But what do you say to the woman who is still grieving and maybe not quite dealing with negative thoughts properly?          2)  ‘It is quite striking to see that women who do have children but still wish for more children report poorer mental health than those who have no children but have come to accept it.’  This is a quote from your blog ‘Fess Up. What Are Your Blind Spots?’ In that article you made two great points: 1) if you or probably most childless not by choice women had had the child, they, we, wouldn’t grumble about the fact that these women should be happy they got the one. And 2) human nature tends to maintain a level of loss if we don’t get everything we wanted, i.e. the number of children we really wanted. I will be honest, one of my biggest pet peeves is to hear a woman murmur about not being able to have more children. I always want to say ‘are you kidding me right now?’     3) The rest of us — we didn’t even make the cut as outliers — no graphics on the number of women who came away empty-handed after extensive (and expensive) fertility treatments and no graphics on the number of failed adoptions. That would be a great project for those of us running childless not by choice platforms, groups, etc, to gather that information from our readers, listeners, and followers?     4) There is no ‘welcome to the club kit’ for childless not by choice women. We see the rites of passage, but we don’t get to partake.  What should we do instead? What is our rite of passage, and passage to where?   5) As I read the article your blog ‘Prince Harry and I Agree: Bury Grief at Your Peril’, your new neighbor upon hearing that you and your husband were never able to have children and she says ‘you can have one of mine’, I found myself thinking how far we have come as a society to be able to talk about childlessness, but how far we still have to go when people are still using that old, tired line. How far along are we, do you think? Do you think we’ve only just scratched the surface in 2019?    6) In regards to Erik Erickson’s ‘Generativity versus stagnation’ stage--stage seven of his eight stages of the theory of psychosocial development’, (This stage takes place during middle adulthood (ages 40 to 65 yrs).  What can we do as we become older, to help alleviate that helpless feeling that we will leave the planet leaving nothing of consequence behind? Asking for a friend.   Books, Articles, Blogs, by Pamela Tsigdinos:  https://blog.silentsorority.com/pope-prejudice-reinforce-negative-views/ https://blog.silentsorority.com/placing-motherhood-on-pedastel/  https://blog.silentsorority.com/grief/    https://blog.silentsorority.com/how-about-a-time-cover-story-on-women-who-arent-moms-or-childfree/   https://blog.silentsorority.com/blindspots/  https://www.amazon.com/dp/B003PJ7D3U/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&amp;btkr=1   Silent Sorority is an award-winning book. It reveals with candor, humor, and poignancy the intense and at times absurd experience of adjusting to a life as a "non-mom" when nature and science don't cooperate in the family building department. Outside of the physical reckoning there lies the challenge of moving forward in a society that doesn't know how to handle the awkwardness of infertility. With no Emily Post-like guidelines for supporting couples who can't conceive, most well-intentioned "fertile" people miss the mark.    https://www.seleni.org/advice-support/2018/3/6/accepting-childlessness-after-infertility https://www.coming2terms.com/2007/02/03/just-the-beginning/ https://www.coming2terms.com/2009/11/01/the-ultimate-test/ https://www.simplypsychology.org/Erik-Erikson.html  Generativity versus stagnation is the seventh of eight stages of Erik Erikson's theory of psychosocial development. This stage takes place during middle adulthood (ages 40 to 65 yrs). Generativity refers to "making your mark" on the world through creating or nurturing things that will outlast an individual.  People experience a need to create or nurture things that will outlast them, often having mentees or creating positive changes that will benefit other people.  We give back to society through raising our children, being productive at work, and becoming involved in community activities and organizations. Through generativity, we develop a sense of being a part of the bigger picture.  Success leads to feelings of usefulness and accomplishment, while failure results in shallow involvement in the world.  By failing to find a way to contribute, we become stagnant and feel unproductive. These individuals may feel disconnected or uninvolved with their community and with society as a whole. Success in this stage will lead to the virtue of care.    Pamela’s Contact information: Pamela Mahoney Tsigdinos Award-Winning Author &amp; Top Health Blogger Connect: ptsigdinos@yahoo.com @PamelaJeanne  Check out ReproTechTruths and the #UnmaskingIVF campaign    My contact information:  Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.com Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan Twitter: @civilla1 Instagram: @joyandrelevance Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM   Thank you for listening to this episode of Childless not by Choice. I appreciate it!  Until next time! Bye!   ‘To recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.’   ‘Spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life’.

Hello everyone! Welcome back to Childless not by Choice, where my mission is to recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.  Civilla Morgan here. I am spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life, although we could not, did not, have the children we so wanted. Welcome to episode 105! •Patreon Contributors: (Patreon contributors are those who have taken an interest in my platform whether they fit the childless not by choice demographic or not. They have decided to contribute a certain dollar amount on a regular basis to help fund my dream of creating awareness and conversation for the childless not by choice community globally. Click the Patreon link for details and to become a Patron!) <a href="https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice</a> Jordan Morgan Ivy Calhoun Questions or comments? Contact me at: Email: <a href="mailto:Info@civillamorgan.com">Info@civillamorgan.com</a>                                               Or Visit the website at <a href="http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.childlessnotbychoice.net</a>, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail. Bio/Intro: Pamela Mahoney Tsigdinos (Sig- DIN - us) is an author, blogger and women's health advocate. She emerged as a reluctant spokeswoman in 2008 after a health reporter from The New York Times asked if she’d be willing to openly discuss her infertility experience. Pamela discussed the stubborn persistence of the infertility condition and the lack of a cultural framework to process the losses associated with being childless not by choice. The New York Times feature story that resulted produced astonishment and relief that someone candidly addressed the trauma of failed IVF and legacy of infertility. Soon thereafter she wrote what became an award-winning book called Silent Sorority. It became the first memoir on infertility not authored by a mother, Pamela's writing explores the complicated, disenfranchised grief and identity issues that accompany involuntary childlessness. Now more than a decade outside of the grief she once felt so viscerally, she educates and writes about the false promises and limitations of reproductive medicine and the personal and social impacts that accompany failed IVF. She is the co-founder of the grassroots initiative <a href="http://ReproTechTruths.org" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">ReproTechTruths.org</a>.  When she’s not researching and writing she enjoys discussing history, Indie films, documentaries, politics, current events and literature with extended family and friends. Questions: <ol> <li>In one of your articles, I read that childless not by choice women quote ‘have more time to confront our feelings than the mother who is busy raising or trying to have kids.’ That statement made me a little nervous as I’ve always believed that when we have too much time to think we can go to some dark or negative places, and sometimes that is good, as going to those places can help a healthier mind process and bring thoughts back to a good place resulting hopefully in a positive outcome of our processing. But what do you say to the woman who is still grieving and maybe not quite dealing with negative thoughts properly?      </li> </ol> 2)  ‘It is quite striking to see that women who do have children but still wish for more children report poorer mental health than those who have no children but have come to accept it.’  This is a quote from your blog ‘Fess Up. What Are Your Blind Spots?’ In that article you made two great points: 1) if you or probably most childless not by choice women had had the child, they, we, wouldn’t grumble about the fact that these women should be happy they got the one. And 2) human nature tends to maintain a level of loss if we don’t get everything we wanted, i.e. the number of children we really wanted. I will be honest, one of my biggest pet peeves is to hear a woman murmur about not being able to have more children. I always want to say ‘are you kidding me right now?’    3) The rest of us — we didn’t even make the cut as outliers — no graphics on the number of women who came away empty-handed after extensive (and expensive) fertility treatments and no graphics on the number of failed adoptions. That would be a great project for those of us running childless not by choice platforms, groups, etc, to gather that information from our readers, listeners, and followers?   4) There is no ‘welcome to the club kit’ for childless not by choice women. We see the rites of passage, but we don’t get to partake.  What should we do instead? What is our rite of passage, and passage to where? 5) As I read the article your blog ‘Prince Harry and I Agree: Bury Grief at Your Peril’, your new neighbor upon hearing that you and your husband were never able to have children and she says ‘you can have one of mine’, I found myself thinking how far we have come as a society to be able to talk about childlessness, but how far we still have to go when people are still using that old, tired line. How far along are we, do you think? Do you think we’ve only just scratched the surface in 2019?   6) In regards to Erik Erickson’s ‘Generativity versus stagnation’ stage--stage seven of his eight stages of the theory of psychosocial development’, (This stage takes place during middle adulthood (ages 40 to 65 yrs).  What can we do as we become older, to help alleviate that helpless feeling that we will leave the planet leaving nothing of consequence behind? Asking for a friend.  Books, Articles, Blogs, by Pamela Tsigdinos: <a href="https://blog.silentsorority.com/pope-prejudice-reinforce-negative-views/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> https://blog.silentsorority.com/pope-prejudice-reinforce-negative-views/</a> <a href="https://blog.silentsorority.com/placing-motherhood-on-pedastel/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://blog.silentsorority.com/placing-motherhood-on-pedastel/ </a><a href="https://blog.silentsorority.com/grief/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://blog.silentsorority.com/grief/ </a> <a href="https://blog.silentsorority.com/how-about-a-time-cover-story-on-women-who-arent-moms-or-childfree/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> https://blog.silentsorority.com/how-about-a-time-cover-story-on-women-who-arent-moms-or-childfree/ </a> <a href="https://blog.silentsorority.com/blindspots/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://blog.silentsorority.com/blindspots/</a> <a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B003PJ7D3U/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&amp;btkr=1" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> https://www.amazon.com/dp/B003PJ7D3U/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&amp;btkr=1</a> Silent Sorority is an award-winning book. It reveals with candor, humor, and poignancy the intense and at times absurd experience of adjusting to a life as a "non-mom" when nature and science don't cooperate in the family building department. Outside of the physical reckoning there lies the challenge of moving forward in a society that doesn't know how to handle the awkwardness of infertility. With no Emily Post-like guidelines for supporting couples who can't conceive, most well-intentioned "fertile" people miss the mark. <a href="https://www.seleni.org/advice-support/2018/3/6/accepting-childlessness-after-infertility" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> https://www.seleni.org/advice-support/2018/3/6/accepting-childlessness-after-infertility</a> <a href="https://www.coming2terms.com/2007/02/03/just-the-beginning/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.coming2terms.com/2007/02/03/just-the-beginning/</a> <a href="https://www.coming2terms.com/2009/11/01/the-ultimate-test/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.coming2terms.com/2009/11/01/the-ultimate-test/</a> <a href="https://www.simplypsychology.org/Erik-Erikson.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.simplypsychology.org/Erik-Erikson.html </a>Generativity versus stagnation is the seventh of eight stages of Erik Erikson's theory of psychosocial development. This stage takes place during middle adulthood (ages 40 to 65 yrs). Generativity refers to "making your mark" on the world through creating or nurturing things that will outlast an individual. People experience a need to create or nurture things that will outlast them, often having mentees or creating positive changes that will benefit other people. We give back to society through raising our children, being productive at work, and becoming involved in community activities and organizations. Through generativity, we develop a sense of being a part of the bigger picture. Success leads to feelings of usefulness and accomplishment, while failure results in shallow involvement in the world. By failing to find a way to contribute, we become stagnant and feel unproductive. These individuals may feel disconnected or uninvolved with their community and with society as a whole. Success in this stage will lead to the virtue of care. Pamela’s Contact information: Pamela Mahoney Tsigdinos Award-Winning Author &amp; Top Health Blogger Connect: ptsigdinos@yahoo.com @PamelaJeanne Check out ReproTechTruths and the #UnmaskingIVF campaign My contact information: Website: <a href="http://www.childlessnotbychoice.net" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.childlessnotbychoice.net</a> and <a href="http://www.civillamorgan.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.civillamorgan.com</a> Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan Twitter: @civilla1 Instagram: @joyandrelevance Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM Thank you for listening to this episode of Childless not by Choice. I appreciate it! Until next time! Bye! ‘To recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.’ ‘Spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life’.

Episode 105--My interview with Pamela Mahoney Tsigdinos