Mira Kirshenbaum's guest appearances

Mira Kirshenbaum

The Art of Charm

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Many of the women I work with, at some point, have stated that all they wanted in their relationship was to feel understood. As this week’s guest, Mira Kirshenbaum (author of the seminal book, Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay) states in her book, Why Couples Fight, “Feeling understood is the orgasm of intimacy.”  Mira joins me to talk about the ways in which couples can end conflict, frustration, and resentment in their relationships. Mira is co-founder and clinical director of The Chestnut Hill Institute in Boston, an internationally recognized center for research and psychotherapy for couples, families, and individuals. Show Highlights  Unmet needs and the pursuit of getting your needs met. (9:52) “Power is the nightmare of love.” We have at least 101 ways we make our partner feel disempowered. (17:04) The Eight Core Experiences of Love and why we must protect, maintain, and nourish all eight of them. “Love without affection is like food without flavor.” (18:20) The 1-2-3 method - a 3-step process for resolving conflict in any relationship - sets couples up so they are both satisfied. (27:41) How to get your needs met with someone who is addicted to conflict. (35:36) Some ways you can provide feedback in a healthy manner. (37:30) What a power move is and why people use them. (39:19)  Learn More About Mira: Mira Kirshenbaum is the author of eleven books—including the influential Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay; Parent-Teen Breakthrough; Everything Happens for a Reason; and The Weekend Marriage— that have been translated into over twenty languages, and she is a two-time finalist for the Books for a Better Life award.    Mira is co-founder and clinical director of The Chestnut Hill Institute in Boston, an internationally recognized center for research and psychotherapy for couples, families and individuals. She has been a workshop leader and trainer for medical professionals at Harvard Medical School and other institutions. She has appeared on 20/20, Today, and CBS Early Show, and has been featured as an expert in O, Cosmopolitan, Vogue, Glamour, and Good Housekeeping.  Resources &amp; Links: Mira's website Mira on Facebook Mira on Twitter JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP

Many of the women I work with, at some point, have stated that all they wanted in their relationship was to feel understood. As this week’s guest, Mira Kirshenbaum (author of the seminal book, Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay) states in her book, Why Couples Fight, “Feeling understood is the orgasm of intimacy.”  Mira joins me to talk about the ways in which couples can end conflict, frustration, and resentment in their relationships. Mira is co-founder and clinical director of The Chestnut Hill Institute in Boston, an internationally recognized center for research and psychotherapy for couples, families, and individuals. Show Highlights <ul> <li>Unmet needs and the pursuit of getting your needs met. (9:52)</li> <li>“Power is the nightmare of love.” We have at least 101 ways we make our partner feel disempowered. (17:04)</li> <li>The Eight Core Experiences of Love and why we must protect, maintain, and nourish all eight of them. “Love without affection is like food without flavor.” (18:20)</li> <li>The 1-2-3 method - a 3-step process for resolving conflict in any relationship - sets couples up so they are both satisfied. (27:41)</li> <li>How to get your needs met with someone who is addicted to conflict. (35:36)</li> <li>Some ways you can provide feedback in a healthy manner. (37:30)</li> <li>What a power move is and why people use them. (39:19)</li> </ul> Learn More About Mira: Mira Kirshenbaum is the author of eleven books—including the influential Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay; Parent-Teen Breakthrough; Everything Happens for a Reason; and The Weekend Marriage— that have been translated into over twenty languages, and she is a two-time finalist for the Books for a Better Life award.    Mira is co-founder and clinical director of The Chestnut Hill Institute in Boston, an internationally recognized center for research and psychotherapy for couples, families and individuals. She has been a workshop leader and trainer for medical professionals at Harvard Medical School and other institutions. She has appeared on 20/20, Today, and CBS Early Show, and has been featured as an expert in O, Cosmopolitan, Vogue, Glamour, and Good Housekeeping.  Resources &amp; Links: <a href="https://www.chestnuthillinstitute.com" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank">Mira's website</a> <a href="https://www.facebook.com/MiraKirshenbaumAuthor/inbox/?mailbox_id=411565978862958&amp;selected_item_id=791919310" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank">Mira on Facebook</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/MiraKirshenbaum" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank">Mira on Twitter</a> <a href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/shouldistayorshouldigo/" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank">JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP</a>

Episode 115: Why Couples Fight with Mira Kirshenbaum

In today’s episode, we cover relationships and conflict resolution with Mira Kirshenbaum. Mira is the author of eleven books, the co-founder and clinical director of The Chestnut Hill Institute in Boston, an internationally recognized center for research and psychotherapy for couples, families and individuals, and has been a workshop leader and trainer for medical professionals at Harvard Medical School and other institutions.   Despite what Hollywood tells us, relationships are not easy and are not always pleasant, so why do couples fight, how do we resolve conflicts in a way that both partners can be satisfied with the outcome, and how do we reframe love in the 21st century to be a reasonable goal we can work toward?   What to Listen For    Why Do Couples Fight - 1:57      Why do couples fight and what do you need to stop doing to prevent future fights? Why do we imitate the power moves of our parents in our own relationships? What does it mean to feel disempowered in a relationship? How do people use distance to hurt their significant other and what can we do to overcome that?       The 8 Core Experiences of Love - 11:00 (starts with AJ saying, “When we think about fights…”)     What should you do everyday to build and maintain healthy relationships with the people you care about? What does it mean to be fair in a relationship? What question should you ask to find out how best to support your significant other when you’re not sure what to do? What does it mean to show respect for your significant other? Is passion a one time thing in a relationship, or is it cyclical?     Conflict Resolution in Relationships - 28:30 (starts with AJ saying, “Now we had Annie Duke on our show…”) How can you use quantification to solve arguments in your relationships? What is the 1-2-3 method and how can you use it to stop arguments from blowing up? What questions can you ask your partner to better understand their concerns about an issue you two are facing? What are the 2 magic questions you should always be ready to ask when you and your partner are facing an issue? What can you do to handle the financial side of a relationship so it doesn’t ruin a great partnership? What do power moves look like that revolve around money?     Reframing Love in the 21st Century - 46:00 What is the biggest myth about love in modern times and what can we do to reframe love so it is not based on fairy tales? How much work is necessary for maintaining a successful relationship? What are the 4 kinds of relationships and what can you learn from them so you know what to avoid in the future? What are the most important steps to take and conversations to have before you have children?    Relationships are often portrayed as the happy ending and the beginning of a trouble-free life filled with love and affection. But any healthy relationship is going to take a lot of work and communication - they don’t just happen. People are too different from one another to be able to come to a quick &amp; easy agreement on everything. We all have different beliefs, thoughts, and expectations about love and relationships, and even life. We must be willing to learn about each other and if you want a relationship to last, both of you must put in the work to maintain it.   A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!   Resources from this Episode Mira Kirshenbaum on Facebook Mira Kirshenbaum on Twitter Mira Kirshenbaum’s books on Amazon Why Couples Fight by Mira Kirshenbaum Annie Duke | The Secret Ingredient to Making the RIGHT Decision When It Really Matters   Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube

In today’s episode, we cover relationships and conflict resolution with Mira Kirshenbaum. Mira is the author of eleven books, the co-founder and clinical director of The Chestnut Hill Institute in Boston, an internationally recognized center for research and psychotherapy for couples, families and individuals, and has been a workshop leader and trainer for medical professionals at Harvard Medical School and other institutions. Despite what Hollywood tells us, relationships are not easy and are not always pleasant, so why do couples fight, how do we resolve conflicts in a way that both partners can be satisfied with the outcome, and how do we reframe love in the 21st century to be a reasonable goal we can work toward? What to Listen For <ul> <li>Why Do Couples Fight - 1:57 </li> </ul> <ul> <li>Why do couples fight and what do you need to stop doing to prevent future fights?</li> <li>Why do we imitate the power moves of our parents in our own relationships?</li> <li>What does it mean to feel disempowered in a relationship?</li> <li>How do people use distance to hurt their significant other and what can we do to overcome that?</li> </ul> <ul> <li>The 8 Core Experiences of Love - 11:00 (starts with AJ saying, “When we think about fights…”)</li> </ul> <ul> <li>What should you do everyday to build and maintain healthy relationships with the people you care about?</li> <li>What does it mean to be fair in a relationship?</li> <li>What question should you ask to find out how best to support your significant other when you’re not sure what to do?</li> <li>What does it mean to show respect for your significant other?</li> <li>Is passion a one time thing in a relationship, or is it cyclical?</li> </ul> <ul> <li>Conflict Resolution in Relationships - 28:30 (starts with AJ saying, “Now we had Annie Duke on our show…”)</li> <li>How can you use quantification to solve arguments in your relationships?</li> <li>What is the 1-2-3 method and how can you use it to stop arguments from blowing up?</li> <li>What questions can you ask your partner to better understand their concerns about an issue you two are facing?</li> <li>What are the 2 magic questions you should always be ready to ask when you and your partner are facing an issue?</li> <li>What can you do to handle the financial side of a relationship so it doesn’t ruin a great partnership?</li> <li>What do power moves look like that revolve around money?</li> </ul> <ul> <li>Reframing Love in the 21st Century - 46:00</li> <li>What is the biggest myth about love in modern times and what can we do to reframe love so it is not based on fairy tales?</li> <li>How much work is necessary for maintaining a successful relationship?</li> <li>What are the 4 kinds of relationships and what can you learn from them so you know what to avoid in the future?</li> <li>What are the most important steps to take and conversations to have before you have children?</li> </ul> Relationships are often portrayed as the happy ending and the beginning of a trouble-free life filled with love and affection. But any healthy relationship is going to take a lot of work and communication - they don’t just happen. People are too different from one another to be able to come to a quick &amp; easy agreement on everything. We all have different beliefs, thoughts, and expectations about love and relationships, and even life. We must be willing to learn about each other and if you want a relationship to last, both of you must put in the work to maintain it. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at <a href="https://theartofcharm.com/challenge/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">theartofcharm.com/challenge</a>. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today <a href="https://theartofcharm.com/challenge/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>! Resources from this Episode <a href="https://www.facebook.com/mirakirshenbaum" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Mira Kirshenbaum on Facebook</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/MiraKirshenbaum" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Mira Kirshenbaum on Twitter</a> <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Mira-Kirshenbaum/e/B000APHMVK" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Mira Kirshenbaum’s books on Amazon</a> <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Why-Couples-Fight-Step-Step/dp/0806540443#:~:text=Why%20Couples%20Fight%20Paperback%20%E2%80%93%20January%2026%2C%202021&amp;text=Find%20all%20the%20books%2C%20read%20about%20the%20author%2C%20and%20more.&amp;text=Bestselling%20author%20and%20relationship%20expert,their%20way%20back%20to%20love." rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Why Couples Fight</a> by Mira Kirshenbaum <a href="https://theartofcharm.com/art-of-personal-development/life-hacks/annie-duke-the-secret-to-making-the-decision/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Annie Duke | The Secret Ingredient to Making the RIGHT Decision When It Really Matters</a> Check in with AJ and Johnny! <a href="https://www.instagram.com/ajharbinger/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">AJ on Instagram</a> <a href="https://www.instagram.com/aocjohnny" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Johnny on Instagram</a> <a href="https://www.instagram.com/theartofcharm" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">The Art of Charm on Instagram</a> <a href="https://www.youtube.com/user/pickuppodcastvideos" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">The Art of Charm on YouTube</a>

Mira Kirshenbaum | The Biggest Myth About Arguments & How to Deal With Finances In A Relationship

Mira is Director of the Chestnut Hill Institute, now in Los Angeles.  With her many books, including many national and international bestsellers, Mira has an international reputation as a therapist working with individuals, couples, and families. People from all over the world have come to seek her help, including royalty and people prominent in entertainment, business, medicine, law, sports, and, of course men and women in all walks of life.Find out more about Mira https://www.chestnuthillinstitute.com/Sarah helps high-performing, ambitious and exceptional women who want to create AMAZING lives despite having been hurt by a toxic partner or parent.Private Facebook Group for women currently in a confusing relationship. Private Facebook Group for women out of their relationship and ready to find love and success.Sarah's BlogA Free gift from SarahClick HERE to check out what others are saying about Sarah.Click HERE if you are ready to work with Sarah. About Sarah K. RamseyJoin Sarah’s FREE Facebook Group “Finding Love &amp; Success After A Toxic Relationship”  Before trying Sarah K Ramsey’s programs her clients were super embarrassed because on the outside these women appeared to have it all. However, these women had a secret...they still felt mentally chained down by their toxic partner or parent. Most women think talk therapy is the only way to heal! Unfortunately, these women waste years trying to figure out how codependency works or rehashing their past in an office week after week trying to pick apart their childhoods. But, Sarah’s clients aren’t “most people.” They know overachievers aren’t just looking to talk about their problem, they are looking for an action plan to SOLVE their problems! Check out this FREE Presentation where Sarah reveals how she does it!  Check out what others have said about Sarah Contact Sarah

Mira is Director of the Chestnut Hill Institute, now in Los Angeles.  With her many books, including many national and international bestsellers, Mira has an international reputation as a therapist working with individuals, couples, and families. People from all over the world have come to seek her help, including royalty and people prominent in entertainment, business, medicine, law, sports, and, of course men and women in all walks of life. Find out more about Mira <a href="https://www.youtube.com/redirect?q=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.chestnuthillinstitute.com%2F&amp;redir_token=QUFFLUhqa2wxdUdHYmRKWWI2WnBYcEZZRUNFd3pzTzN5d3xBQ3Jtc0tubGowUjJ3N2RueElWQ1hQVUVCeTFQODF3VXF6dndfai00cm5wYk5XUzRCTVBKSkRQOWdoT1N4VlBZdHZnWkNjb1AzRXNkQ1ljVkNTY3hYQThuZ1NCUS1yRXFqUUgwZUNrbnV6WmhJb3UwcVZvSnpPZw%3D%3D&amp;event=video_description&amp;v=u6frXDsJAlw" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.chestnuthillinstitute.com/</a> Sarah helps high-performing, ambitious and exceptional women who want to create AMAZING lives despite having been hurt by a toxic partner or parent.<a href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/1172927313068870" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Private Facebook Group for women currently in a confusing relationship. </a><a href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/loveandsucessafteatoxicrelationship" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Private Facebook Group for women out of their relationship and ready to find love and success.</a><a href="https://sarahkramsey.com/bouncebackservices/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Sarah's Blog</a><a href="https://joinnow.live/s/Es9tIC" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">A Free gift from Sarah</a>Click <a href="https://sarahkramsey.com/reviews/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a> to check out what others are saying about Sarah.Click <a href="https://sarahkramsey.com/contact/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a> if you are ready to work with Sarah.  <a href="https://sarahkramsey.com/hi-im-sarah/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">About Sarah K. Ramsey</a> Join Sarah’s <a href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/loveandsucessafteatoxicrelationship" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">FREE Facebook Group</a> “Finding Love &amp; Success After A Toxic Relationship” Before trying Sarah K Ramsey’s programs her clients were super embarrassed because on the outside these women appeared to have it all. However, these women had a secret...they still felt mentally chained down by their toxic partner or parent. Most women think talk therapy is the only way to heal! Unfortunately, these women waste years trying to figure out how codependency works or rehashing their past in an office week after week trying to pick apart their childhoods. But, Sarah’s clients aren’t “most people.” They know overachievers aren’t just looking to talk about their problem, they are looking for an action plan to SOLVE their problems! Check out this <a href="https://joinnow.live/s/Es9tIC" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">FREE Presentation</a> where Sarah reveals how she does it! Check out <a href="https://sarahkramsey.com/programs/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">what others have said about Sarah</a> <a href="https://sarahkramsey.com/contact/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Contact Sarah</a>

Episode 53: Why Couples Fight with bestselling author Mira Kirshenbaum