Sandy Wise's guest appearances

Sandy Wise

Married People Podcast

Mo Isom

Carey Nieuwhof

Kara Powell

Jeff Henderson

Jessica Bealer

Carlos Whittaker

Jon Acuff

Tim Elmore

Dave Adamson

Les Parrott

Jim Burns

Toni Collier

Selena Frederick

Ron Deal

Mike Foster

OwlTail

This is part two of our interview with Sandy Wise. If you missed last week, you’ll want to go back and check that out first. Today’s topic isn’t one that most people want to talk about, but it is important. We’re picking up with Sandy’s story after Donald’s cancer treatment. Tell us about Donald’s final week here on earth. If you knew Donald, every other word out of his mouth was about Jesus. His last few days, he wanted to make sure our technician (and everyone else) knew about the Jesus he served his whole life.  There was such a peace in the room, and at 11:20am on a Sunday Donald went to be with Jesus.  One of the best examples of how Donald and Sandy modeled marriage well was Donald’s memorial service. Tell us about that day. All of my kids were at my house and all the girls were getting ready together. I remember us walking in and the song playing was one of Donald’s very favorite—Steven Curtis Chapman’s “No Better Place”. We called it Paw Paw’s Party with the grandkids; we just wanted to honor him because he had led us well.    How did you cope the first few months? I will tell you, if there’s anything you can say about cancer, it does give you all this time to say all the things you want to say. We talked very openly about what it would look like on this side, and that set me up to walk those months afterwards. I was surrounded by a lot of people, my kids made sure I wasn’t alone. My sister-in-law spent lots of time with me and she made me do ‘normal’.  How has the journey after Donald surprised you in good ways? About a week after Donald went to Heaven, I was standing there in the bathroom and it was like I could hear him say, “Babe, you can do this.” I did some things people may think were crazy, but I got my first tattoo. I also did things that were normal—Donald and I always went to the Braves spring training camp, so my sister-in-law and I went down and did that.  I also sold our house and bought a town home. It can be hard to know how to help people who are on a journey like this. How have people jumped in to be there for you and what advice would you give to people who want to love people after loss? Give them the freedom to talk. There is nothing greater than for someone to tell me a Donald story. Make me do ‘normal’ things. One of the most blessed things that I’ve had is that our couple friends have invited me out for dinner still. Still invite them out. I could think of nothing sadder than sitting and eating casseroles from a meal train by myself—take them out to eat! Before Donald passed, some folks decorated our house for Christmas and then came after and helped me take my tree down. What are some of the things you shouldn’t say when someone is going through a loss? People saying “Call me if you need me”. Sometimes I couldn’t even remember seeing people that day, much less calling them to ask for help. Also, books were not helpful to me. I know people meant well, but it wasn’t helpful to me. Don’t say that you know how I feel.  How has living on this side of Heaven without Donald—the void and loss—changed and evolved over time? The first few months I didn’t want to say ‘widow’, but now I’m embracing it as this season in my life. After Donald left this earth, God came down and filled that void. I want to finish it well. What would you say to someone who is on a similar journey—they may have lost their spouse? I have a friend who just lost her spouse, and she told me she finds peace in talking to me because I’ve let her talk and she doesn’t feel crazy in the things she’s thinking. God chose this journey for you, He knew before He put you together with your husband that you were going to walk it. The reason I (Ted) wanted you that are listening to hear from Sandy is that Sandy brings the remarkable gift of perspective. Losing someone you love helps you to know really quickly what matters and what doesn’t.   I know Donald Wise would be saying about Sandy – “I am so proud of you”. If you want to follow Sandy, you can follow her on Facebook. You can also check out the book Sandy mentions: Don’t Waste Your Cancer. Thanks for joining us for the Married People Podcast. We hope you’ll subscribe to the podcast on iTunes and leave a review—they help us make the podcast better. Visit us on Facebook or Instagram. If you want more resources, check out  Your Best Us and our blog at MarriedPeople.org. Finally, we hope you’ll join us for next week’s episode.

This is part two of our interview with Sandy Wise. If you missed last week, you’ll want to go back and check that out first. Today’s topic isn’t one that most people want to talk about, but it is important. We’re picking up with Sandy’s story after Donald’s cancer treatment. Tell us about Donald’s final week here on earth. If you knew Donald, every other word out of his mouth was about Jesus. His last few days, he wanted to make sure our technician (and everyone else) knew about the Jesus he served his whole life.  There was such a peace in the room, and at 11:20am on a Sunday Donald went to be with Jesus.  One of the best examples of how Donald and Sandy modeled marriage well was Donald’s memorial service. Tell us about that day. All of my kids were at my house and all the girls were getting ready together. I remember us walking in and the song playing was one of Donald’s very favorite—Steven Curtis Chapman’s “No Better Place”. We called it Paw Paw’s Party with the grandkids; we just wanted to honor him because he had led us well.    How did you cope the first few months? I will tell you, if there’s anything you can say about cancer, it does give you all this time to say all the things you want to say. We talked very openly about what it would look like on this side, and that set me up to walk those months afterwards. I was surrounded by a lot of people, my kids made sure I wasn’t alone. My sister-in-law spent lots of time with me and she made me do ‘normal’.  How has the journey after Donald surprised you in good ways? About a week after Donald went to Heaven, I was standing there in the bathroom and it was like I could hear him say, “Babe, you can do this.” I did some things people may think were crazy, but I got my first tattoo. I also did things that were normal—Donald and I always went to the Braves spring training camp, so my sister-in-law and I went down and did that.  I also sold our house and bought a town home. It can be hard to know how to help people who are on a journey like this. How have people jumped in to be there for you and what advice would you give to people who want to love people after loss? Give them the freedom to talk. There is nothing greater than for someone to tell me a Donald story. Make me do ‘normal’ things. One of the most blessed things that I’ve had is that our couple friends have invited me out for dinner still. Still invite them out. I could think of nothing sadder than sitting and eating casseroles from a meal train by myself—take them out to eat! Before Donald passed, some folks decorated our house for Christmas and then came after and helped me take my tree down. What are some of the things you shouldn’t say when someone is going through a loss? People saying “Call me if you need me”. Sometimes I couldn’t even remember seeing people that day, much less calling them to ask for help. Also, books were not helpful to me. I know people meant well, but it wasn’t helpful to me. Don’t say that you know how I feel.  How has living on this side of Heaven without Donald—the void and loss—changed and evolved over time? The first few months I didn’t want to say ‘widow’, but now I’m embracing it as this season in my life. After Donald left this earth, God came down and filled that void. I want to finish it well. What would you say to someone who is on a similar journey—they may have lost their spouse? I have a friend who just lost her spouse, and she told me she finds peace in talking to me because I’ve let her talk and she doesn’t feel crazy in the things she’s thinking. God chose this journey for you, He knew before He put you together with your husband that you were going to walk it. The reason I (Ted) wanted you that are listening to hear from Sandy is that Sandy brings the remarkable gift of perspective. Losing someone you love helps you to know really quickly what matters and what doesn’t.   I know Donald Wise would be saying about Sandy – “I am so proud of you”. If you want to follow Sandy, you can follow her on <a href="https://www.facebook.com/sandy.wise.12" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Facebook</a>. You can also check out the book Sandy mentions: <a href="https://www.desiringgod.org/books/dont-waste-your-cancer" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Don’t Waste Your Cancer.</a> Thanks for joining us for the Married People Podcast. We hope you’ll subscribe to the podcast on iTunes and leave a review—they help us make the podcast better. Visit us on <a href="https://www.facebook.com/marriedpeople/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Facebook</a> or <a href="https://www.instagram.com/married_people/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Instagram</a>. If you want more resources, check out <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Your-Best-Us-Marriage-Easier/dp/1941259995" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> Your Best Us</a> and our blog at <a href="http://MarriedPeople.org" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">MarriedPeople.org</a>. Finally, we hope you’ll join us for next week’s episode.

MP 026: How do we live out til death do us part? (Part 2 with Sandy Wise)

Today we’re excited to talk with our friend Sandy Wise—we’ve wanted to have her on the podcast since we started! Sandy and her husband Donald were married for 40 years before he went to heaven 23 months ago. We (Ted and Nancie) met them in 1998 working at summer camps and at North Point Church. We’re honored to have her join us.  Tell us how you and Donald met?  I was in a singing group at First Baptist Atlanta. Donald came to visit friends and I was singing on stage. I kept looking out and making eye contact with him. Afterwards someone came up and introduced us. We started dating that week and we’ve been dating ever since!  So what were your newlywed years like?  We left to go to Southwestern Seminary less than a year after we got married. It was 16 hours away from all our family, which I think was probably really healthy for us. Those first years of being in school were a whirlwind for us.  Tell us about what it was like to become parents for the first time. How did that change your marriage?  We were married in 1977 and our first son was born in 1980. None of our children were planned—they were all surprises. We were still in seminary when we had Nathan. Life just happens and you go for it knowing that God has it in control anyway. So we had Nathan, and I went to the doctor a few months later and found out we were pregnant with our second. Seven years later, we had our daughter Rebecca.  How did parenting multiple kids impact your marriage?  Through this whole journey of life, you have to have community. We have always surrounded ourselves with people who were ahead of us who could help mentor us down the road.  How did you prepare your kids for marriage?  I actually asked my kids this. Rachel and Nathan have been married 17 years, and Rebecca has been married for seven. They said: -Not to settle for just anything, but to seek out God’s will -You always told us we were on the same team -You prayed with us a lot -You led by example  What was it like to have sons-in-law and a daughter in-law for the first time?  My daughter-in-law is like another daughter to me. I was very pushy at first; I thought she needed another mother. My son had to let me know that I was trying a little too hard, and I had to realize they were making their own family.   Tell us about the day you found out Donald had cancer.  Rebecca got married in May and we were empty nesters! A few days before Christmas, Donald went in for a routine test. While he was still asleep, the doctor came and told me he thought it was cancer. He went for more tests, and they called us two days after Christmas to let us know it was stage four cancer. He started chemo very quickly after that.   Tell us about the journey of his cancer and treatment.  Donald and I always knew that God wouldn’t put anything in our path that He hadn’t already prepared for us. I look back now and I’m so thankful God chose me to walk this journey. We did lots of research those first few months, and we would also wake up every day and ask each other “what is our mission today?” God was really using Donald, everyone knew him on the chemo floor.   What would you say to people who have a spouse who is sick or struggling physically?  For us, with it being a terminal illness, we wanted to do normal. When he was up for it, Donald would get up, get dressed and we’d go down to the church. If I could say anything to someone walking a terminal illness, it’s to do normal. Whatever that takes. You also do a lot of research, because you’re the advocate for your spouse. You see them every day and you can help stand up for them. One of the things Donald and I said from day one is #GodsGotThis. As you walk your journey, know that it was chosen for you by Him. And if it was, then He’s got it. Well, this is only the start of our time with Sandy. We’ll actually have Sandy back for next week’s episode for a whole different topic, so be sure not to miss that. If you want to follow Sandy, you can follow her on Facebook. You can also check out the book Sandy mentions – Don’t Waste Your Cancer. Thanks for joining us for the Married People Podcast. We hope you’ll subscribe to the podcast on iTunes and leave a review – they help us make the podcast better. Visit us on Facebook or Instagram. If you want more resources, check out  Your Best Us and our blog at MarriedPeople.org. Finally, we hope you’ll join us for next week’s episode as we continue the conversation with Sandy.

Today we’re excited to talk with our friend Sandy Wise—we’ve wanted to have her on the podcast since we started! Sandy and her husband Donald were married for 40 years before he went to heaven 23 months ago. We (Ted and Nancie) met them in 1998 working at summer camps and at North Point Church. We’re honored to have her join us. <ul> <li>Tell us how you and Donald met?</li> </ul> I was in a singing group at First Baptist Atlanta. Donald came to visit friends and I was singing on stage. I kept looking out and making eye contact with him. Afterwards someone came up and introduced us. We started dating that week and we’ve been dating ever since! <ul> <li>So what were your newlywed years like?</li> </ul> We left to go to Southwestern Seminary less than a year after we got married. It was 16 hours away from all our family, which I think was probably really healthy for us. Those first years of being in school were a whirlwind for us. <ul> <li>Tell us about what it was like to become parents for the first time. How did that change your marriage?</li> </ul> We were married in 1977 and our first son was born in 1980. None of our children were planned—they were all surprises. We were still in seminary when we had Nathan. Life just happens and you go for it knowing that God has it in control anyway. So we had Nathan, and I went to the doctor a few months later and found out we were pregnant with our second. Seven years later, we had our daughter Rebecca. <ul> <li>How did parenting multiple kids impact your marriage?</li> </ul> Through this whole journey of life, you have to have community. We have always surrounded ourselves with people who were ahead of us who could help mentor us down the road. <ul> <li>How did you prepare your kids for marriage?</li> </ul> I actually asked my kids this. Rachel and Nathan have been married 17 years, and Rebecca has been married for seven. They said: -Not to settle for just anything, but to seek out God’s will -You always told us we were on the same team -You prayed with us a lot -You led by example <ul> <li>What was it like to have sons-in-law and a daughter in-law for the first time?</li> </ul> My daughter-in-law is like another daughter to me. I was very pushy at first; I thought she needed another mother. My son had to let me know that I was trying a little too hard, and I had to realize they were making their own family.  <ul> <li>Tell us about the day you found out Donald had cancer.</li> </ul> Rebecca got married in May and we were empty nesters! A few days before Christmas, Donald went in for a routine test. While he was still asleep, the doctor came and told me he thought it was cancer. He went for more tests, and they called us two days after Christmas to let us know it was stage four cancer. He started chemo very quickly after that.  <ul> <li>Tell us about the journey of his cancer and treatment.</li> </ul> Donald and I always knew that God wouldn’t put anything in our path that He hadn’t already prepared for us. I look back now and I’m so thankful God chose me to walk this journey. We did lots of research those first few months, and we would also wake up every day and ask each other “what is our mission today?” God was really using Donald, everyone knew him on the chemo floor.  <ul> <li>What would you say to people who have a spouse who is sick or struggling physically?</li> </ul> For us, with it being a terminal illness, we wanted to do normal. When he was up for it, Donald would get up, get dressed and we’d go down to the church. If I could say anything to someone walking a terminal illness, it’s to do normal. Whatever that takes. You also do a lot of research, because you’re the advocate for your spouse. You see them every day and you can help stand up for them. One of the things Donald and I said from day one is #GodsGotThis. As you walk your journey, know that it was chosen for you by Him. And if it was, then He’s got it. Well, this is only the start of our time with Sandy. We’ll actually have Sandy back for next week’s episode for a whole different topic, so be sure not to miss that. If you want to follow Sandy, you can follow her on <a href="https://www.facebook.com/sandy.wise.12" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Facebook</a>. You can also check out the book Sandy mentions – <a href="https://www.desiringgod.org/books/dont-waste-your-cancer" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Don’t Waste Your Cancer.</a> Thanks for joining us for the Married People Podcast. We hope you’ll subscribe to the podcast on iTunes and leave a review – they help us make the podcast better. Visit us on <a href="https://www.facebook.com/marriedpeople/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Facebook</a> or <a href="https://www.instagram.com/married_people/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Instagram</a>. If you want more resources, check out <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Your-Best-Us-Marriage-Easier/dp/1941259995" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> Your Best Us</a> and our blog at <a href="http://MarriedPeople.org" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">MarriedPeople.org</a>. Finally, we hope you’ll join us for next week’s episode as we continue the conversation with Sandy.

MP 025: How do we live out in sickness and in health? (Part 1 with Sandy Wise)