Jason Newsome's guest appearances

Jason Newsome

Journey Principles With Stephen Scoggins

Journey On: Survivors Healing from Sexual Abuse & Assault

Jon Vroman

Jeff Lawson

Michele Cushatt

Rory Vaden

Marc Mawhinney

Nabeel Qureshi

Robyn Besemann

Sean Douglas

Doug Stewart

Chris LoCurto

Joel Weldon

Rock Thomas

Stephen Scoggins

Michael Garner

David Stallings

OwlTail

Working Through Sexual Abuse with Hope Part 2 with Dr. Jason Newsome: On today’s show we have Dr. Jason Newsome with us again for Part 2! We are very excited to be able to share with you guys two shows with this amazing overcomer. He shares with us some great insight on what is going through someone’s mind after they have been abused. He starts with their belief system. Our belief systems are based on our past experiences. Our brains do a wonderful job of cataloging how we react to situations. A person who has been abused usually has a different view on things. Dr. Newsome uses his sexual abuse as an example. He was sexual abused by 5 different people, starting at the age of 5. It gave him the idea that something was wrong with him since it had happened with 5 different people. At the same time he didn’t tell anyone that it was happening so that contributed to his dysfunctional thinking. He didn’t have someone to tell him that it wasn’t okay and that he wasn’t doing anything wrong; the abusers were doing wrong.  He thought this was part of experiencing life. Dr. Newsome’s abusers were hurtful for the most part. When he would try to resist, he was forced to be abused. When he said no, they would harm him. Then there were times when his abusers were nice and that was very confusing for such a young boy. This led to the thinking that in order for people to be nice to him, he had to say yes. If he was to tell anyone no, he would get hurt. He became a people pleaser. He felt like everyone had to be happy with him all the time. But in reality that is impossible to do. This would then lead to anxiety when he felt like others weren’t happy with him or his decisions. What is it about any type of abuse that makes people feel that they need to stay silent? Dr. Newsome answered by saying fear and shame. His abusers told him that if he was to tell anyone, he would get in trouble. He was then afraid to say anything. He also felt that two of the abusers might even kill him if he was to tell. That kept him quiet. Shame also keeps many people silent when abuse is happening or happened. Most people believe they should be better than what’s happening and that they are good enough to avoid these situations. In cases of domestic violence, they feel they should have chosen better or somehow prevented the abuse from happening. When it has been going on for a while, they feel they should have done something before now. In reality the person who is being abused is not at fault and there is nothing they are doing wrong. But in their mind, they are filled with shame and therefore won’t say anything. In most abuse cases, the abuse doesn’t start until after they have manipulated the victim. Abusers are very good at drawing someone into the situation and then taking advantage. We must forgive in order to live a life of enjoyment again. Un-forgiveness hurts us and our souls. But it starts with us. We have to forgive ourselves before we forgive others. We have to let go of the shame and guilt and understand that it wasn’t our fault. Dr. Newsome makes a good point that many people talk about forgiveness without truly understanding what it means. The word Jesus used in the Bible for forgiveness means to discharge debt. So when we forgive someone we are releasing them of debt. When we don’t forgive, we are constantly seeking repayment and we seek it in different ways. The truth about abuse is that we can never be repaid for what was taken. The things that were taken hold no monetary value. Dr. Newsome gives us three steps in how to effectively forgive someone.  We have to acknowledge that we have been harmed. Someone has done us wrong. We have to truly understand that the abuser cannot repay us for what was taken. And we can’t seek repayment from any other source. We have to stop seeking repayment. This can be the hardest step in forgiveness.  Dr. Newsome wraps up the podcast with three things he would tell his 11 year old self. At that age he was still being abused and had already been abused by multiple people.  Please tell someone that you trust what is happening. Don’t keep it inside. In order for the abuse to continue, the abuser needs you to stay quiet. What is happening is not okay and it’s not your fault. No matter how many times or how many people abuse you, you are doing nothing wrong. You can make it! This does not define your life. This does not have to be your identity. You will have an identity beyond this situation.  We sincerely hope that you enjoy today’s podcast with Dr. Jason Newsome for the second part. He is such an overcomer and has great knowledge to help others overcome abuse. For more information on Dr. Newsome or to get in contact with him, visit his website at drjasonnewsome.com as well as Twitter and Facebook under Dr. Jason Newsome. If you enjoyed today’s show, please like, share and comment. Many people can relate to the subject of abuse. This might be the show they need to hear in order to give them the courage to tell someone. Please continue to send us your comments and questions at feedback@journeyprinciples.com; we enjoy hearing from all of our listeners! Until next time be sure to follow us on Facebook, The Journey Principles, and on Twitter, Stephen_scoggin.

Working Through Sexual Abuse with Hope Part 2 with Dr. Jason Newsome: On today’s show we have Dr. Jason Newsome with us again for Part 2! We are very excited to be able to share with you guys two shows with this amazing overcomer. He shares with us some great insight on what is going through someone’s mind after they have been abused. He starts with their belief system. Our belief systems are based on our past experiences. Our brains do a wonderful job of cataloging how we react to situations. A person who has been abused usually has a different view on things. Dr. Newsome uses his sexual abuse as an example. He was sexual abused by 5 different people, starting at the age of 5. It gave him the idea that something was wrong with him since it had happened with 5 different people. At the same time he didn’t tell anyone that it was happening so that contributed to his dysfunctional thinking. He didn’t have someone to tell him that it wasn’t okay and that he wasn’t doing anything wrong; the abusers were doing wrong.  He thought this was part of experiencing life. Dr. Newsome’s abusers were hurtful for the most part. When he would try to resist, he was forced to be abused. When he said no, they would harm him. Then there were times when his abusers were nice and that was very confusing for such a young boy. This led to the thinking that in order for people to be nice to him, he had to say yes. If he was to tell anyone no, he would get hurt. He became a people pleaser. He felt like everyone had to be happy with him all the time. But in reality that is impossible to do. This would then lead to anxiety when he felt like others weren’t happy with him or his decisions. What is it about any type of abuse that makes people feel that they need to stay silent? Dr. Newsome answered by saying fear and shame. His abusers told him that if he was to tell anyone, he would get in trouble. He was then afraid to say anything. He also felt that two of the abusers might even kill him if he was to tell. That kept him quiet. Shame also keeps many people silent when abuse is happening or happened. Most people believe they should be better than what’s happening and that they are good enough to avoid these situations. In cases of domestic violence, they feel they should have chosen better or somehow prevented the abuse from happening. When it has been going on for a while, they feel they should have done something before now. In reality the person who is being abused is not at fault and there is nothing they are doing wrong. But in their mind, they are filled with shame and therefore won’t say anything. In most abuse cases, the abuse doesn’t start until after they have manipulated the victim. Abusers are very good at drawing someone into the situation and then taking advantage. We must forgive in order to live a life of enjoyment again. Un-forgiveness hurts us and our souls. But it starts with us. We have to forgive ourselves before we forgive others. We have to let go of the shame and guilt and understand that it wasn’t our fault. Dr. Newsome makes a good point that many people talk about forgiveness without truly understanding what it means. The word Jesus used in the Bible for forgiveness means to discharge debt. So when we forgive someone we are releasing them of debt. When we don’t forgive, we are constantly seeking repayment and we seek it in different ways. The truth about abuse is that we can never be repaid for what was taken. The things that were taken hold no monetary value. Dr. Newsome gives us three steps in how to effectively forgive someone. <ol> <li>We have to acknowledge that we have been harmed. Someone has done us wrong.</li> <li>We have to truly understand that the abuser cannot repay us for what was taken. And we can’t seek repayment from any other source.</li> <li>We have to stop seeking repayment. This can be the hardest step in forgiveness.</li> </ol> Dr. Newsome wraps up the podcast with three things he would tell his 11 year old self. At that age he was still being abused and had already been abused by multiple people. <ol> <li>Please tell someone that you trust what is happening. Don’t keep it inside. In order for the abuse to continue, the abuser needs you to stay quiet.</li> <li>What is happening is not okay and it’s not your fault. No matter how many times or how many people abuse you, you are doing nothing wrong.</li> <li>You can make it! This does not define your life. This does not have to be your identity. You will have an identity beyond this situation.</li> </ol> We sincerely hope that you enjoy today’s podcast with Dr. Jason Newsome for the second part. He is such an overcomer and has great knowledge to help others overcome abuse. For more information on Dr. Newsome or to get in contact with him, visit his website at <a href="http://drjasonnewsome.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">drjasonnewsome.com</a> as well as Twitter and Facebook under Dr. Jason Newsome. If you enjoyed today’s show, please like, share and comment. Many people can relate to the subject of abuse. This might be the show they need to hear in order to give them the courage to tell someone. Please continue to send us your comments and questions at feedback@journeyprinciples.com; we enjoy hearing from all of our listeners! Until next time be sure to follow us on Facebook, The Journey Principles, and on Twitter, Stephen_scoggin.

Episode 016 Working Through Sexual Abuse with Hope Part 2 with Dr. Jason Newsome

Working Through Sexual Abuse with Hope Part 1 with Dr. Jason Newsome Welcome back JP Family! Today you are in for a treat. We have Dr. Jason Newsome with us. Dr. Newsome and Stephen met by chance from a Tweet. Dr. Newsome had just read Stephen’s book and replied to a tweet Stephen had made. They started talking from there and we are honored to have him on the show. Dr. Newsome grew up in southern West Virginia in a poor community.  As a child many don’t realize they are poor, especially when everyone in the community doesn’t have much. His parents taught him that hard work is the most important thing you can do a daily basis. He will never forget the days of working hard for what you have. It has given him the freedom to know that if he was to ever go broke, he would survive. That is not a fear of his and something that he holds close. When Dr. Newsome was 22 years old, he lost his youngest brother. His brother had brain cancer and had a complication with the treatment. After the funeral service he was giving his last goodbyes to his brother while walking pass his casket. He turned around to walk away and came face to face, nose to nose, with the fifth man who had molested him when he was younger. This man was a family friend. He molested him multiple times between the age of 11 and 13. When Dr. Newsome saw him, he had no idea what to do. 5 seconds felt like 20 minutes. All emotions came to him in such a wave he can’t even recall all of them. His final action was one of maturity. He stuck out his own hand and shook that man’s hand. He simply walked away afterwards. That was the first step of forgiveness. Forgiveness is a process. Many Christians talk about forgiveness as something that is an instantaneous event. It’s not an easy process. The greater the trauma, the greater the process. Dr. Newsome began his process the day he came face to face with the man at his brother’s funeral. There was a point that the man represented all 5 abusers. He was able to forgive. He went on to study mental illness and understanding the world of abusers. There is a cognitive change when abuse occurs to someone. There is a belief that the world is dangerous. It’s not a conscious thought but it’s the core of all assumptions. Once you have that belief, it is tough to trust people at that point. A person is always on guard and always trying to protect themselves.  There is a model of mental illness development that Dr. Newsome likes to teach his students. It is called diathesis stress model. This model states that in order for anyone to develop a particular mental disorder they must have a genetic predisposition for the disorder and enough life stress. It doesn’t have to be a 50/50 split between the two. If someone has more points towards a genetic predisposition, they don’t have to experience as much life stress to trigger the mental illness and vice versa. It is a very interesting and complex model but one that Dr. Newsome feels explains the development. While Dr. Newsome was working in the medical field he was a part time associate pastor. People would come to him for counseling but there were things that were beyond his expertise. He would refer them to a specialist but many times they would not go. It was that point that he went for his master degree in counseling. He had no intent on actually practicing until he fell in love with it. He could see how much it was helping people. Many people seek counsel when they are at the end of the road and feel there is no other option. He loves helping that person move from that place of hurt towards a healthy life. He now has his own practice called Dayspring Counseling Center in West Virginia. Dr. Newsome was giving so much great information that we have split his podcast into two. We are very excited for you to hear the second part! So make sure you tune in next time to continue this amazing talk with Dr. Jason Newsome. Until next time be sure to follow us on Facebook and Twitter. Also keep sending in your questions. We are really enjoying hearing from you all! You can email us at feedback@journeyprinciples.com. See you next time!

Working Through Sexual Abuse with Hope Part 1 with Dr. Jason Newsome Welcome back JP Family! Today you are in for a treat. We have Dr. Jason Newsome with us. Dr. Newsome and Stephen met by chance from a Tweet. Dr. Newsome had just read Stephen’s book and replied to a tweet Stephen had made. They started talking from there and we are honored to have him on the show. Dr. Newsome grew up in southern West Virginia in a poor community.  As a child many don’t realize they are poor, especially when everyone in the community doesn’t have much. His parents taught him that hard work is the most important thing you can do a daily basis. He will never forget the days of working hard for what you have. It has given him the freedom to know that if he was to ever go broke, he would survive. That is not a fear of his and something that he holds close. When Dr. Newsome was 22 years old, he lost his youngest brother. His brother had brain cancer and had a complication with the treatment. After the funeral service he was giving his last goodbyes to his brother while walking pass his casket. He turned around to walk away and came face to face, nose to nose, with the fifth man who had molested him when he was younger. This man was a family friend. He molested him multiple times between the age of 11 and 13. When Dr. Newsome saw him, he had no idea what to do. 5 seconds felt like 20 minutes. All emotions came to him in such a wave he can’t even recall all of them. His final action was one of maturity. He stuck out his own hand and shook that man’s hand. He simply walked away afterwards. That was the first step of forgiveness. Forgiveness is a process. Many Christians talk about forgiveness as something that is an instantaneous event. It’s not an easy process. The greater the trauma, the greater the process. Dr. Newsome began his process the day he came face to face with the man at his brother’s funeral. There was a point that the man represented all 5 abusers. He was able to forgive. He went on to study mental illness and understanding the world of abusers. There is a cognitive change when abuse occurs to someone. There is a belief that the world is dangerous. It’s not a conscious thought but it’s the core of all assumptions. Once you have that belief, it is tough to trust people at that point. A person is always on guard and always trying to protect themselves.  There is a model of mental illness development that Dr. Newsome likes to teach his students. It is called diathesis stress model. This model states that in order for anyone to develop a particular mental disorder they must have a genetic predisposition for the disorder and enough life stress. It doesn’t have to be a 50/50 split between the two. If someone has more points towards a genetic predisposition, they don’t have to experience as much life stress to trigger the mental illness and vice versa. It is a very interesting and complex model but one that Dr. Newsome feels explains the development. While Dr. Newsome was working in the medical field he was a part time associate pastor. People would come to him for counseling but there were things that were beyond his expertise. He would refer them to a specialist but many times they would not go. It was that point that he went for his master degree in counseling. He had no intent on actually practicing until he fell in love with it. He could see how much it was helping people. Many people seek counsel when they are at the end of the road and feel there is no other option. He loves helping that person move from that place of hurt towards a healthy life. He now has his own practice called Dayspring Counseling Center in West Virginia. Dr. Newsome was giving so much great information that we have split his podcast into two. We are very excited for you to hear the second part! So make sure you tune in next time to continue this amazing talk with Dr. Jason Newsome. Until next time be sure to follow us on Facebook and Twitter. Also keep sending in your questions. We are really enjoying hearing from you all! You can email us at feedback@journeyprinciples.com. See you next time!

Episode 015 Working Through Sexual Abuse with Hope Part 1 with Dr. Jason Newsome